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Me again! 37 minutes later!! I just did it again....thought straight to behaviour. Only took 37minutes to recognise this time!! What I was actually feeling (emotion!) when rewatching your video was MISUNDERSTOOD. I felt misunderstood because you were assuming I had choice and assuming I would go from emotion to behaviour. I suppose I did but thought I'd used my cognition? Arrgghh!! It probably means you're right! I did act without thinking and pausing to recognise the emotion that was the driver? Oh it's so confusing. Thanks for your patience!!

Ive watched video again. Thanks mike for your clarification post. Your triad model I agree with but you do seem to assume that introducing the cognitive ie. thinking is what works. Are you aware that some (intellectual!) folks like me go staight from thought to behaviour. We need to incorporate recognition, awareness of emotion. Which in my case takes time...the gift of hindsight! Often hours or days later. And it takes years, lots of time, to develop such skills as taking the pause to incorporate all three!! Choice helps a lot! For me recognition of choice has been paramount. Maybe instead of straight line thinking, a circular model is helpful though your triad model did show all three....but there was an assumption of straight line between emotion and behaviour? Maybe not in all cases? But having said all that, your video (and many previous ones) has been really helpful. Keep it up! Sometimes we learn from what does not apply rather than what does!!

It's definitely pretty wild to experience the first time around, and certainly quite a powerful interaction.

Does everyone here voices? For me it is more like a thought that is not my own, like coming from outside. This often a reason to deny the existence of parts

1.) DID & OSDD are in professional texts, Medical books as other conditions like diabetes are. 2.) It is studied and has had peer reviewed research through the world with it being identified 3.) There is a validated accepted tool to identify it. Updated since 1994 4 & 5.) Same conditions exist throughout the world described similarly. People from all walks of life report it. Internationally recognized. And clinicians from across the world accept this as a condition even manifested in the biology of the brain.

I think our CFS is partly due to the childhood trauma and DID, but could also be linked to Pfeiffer's glandular fever and Covid. We also have fibromyalgia and Hashimoto's. One of my thoughts was always that we had to use up sooooo much energy to survive for so many years that we just kind of ran out.... That's what it feels like.... I find it very hard to cope with the fact that most of our time we're so exhausted we can do bugger all. We applied for a wheelchair with residual power amplifier and our insurance gave the OK. Waiting for a wheelchair to be available now. We really hope this might give us a little bit of life back because it is so hard to stay on track when you're always in pain and exhausted. Thanks for this video. We've been in therapy for so many years though, I lost hope that things will improve on the physical side. And the really shitty thing about it all is that we can't use a lot of our resources anymore. It really is a vicious circle....

Excellent video

Thanks. More ducks please 🦆💜

I'm autistic, have BPD, and likely DID/OSDD. I feel like this is such a complex web of symptoms and experience for me. I'm really looking forward to hearing more about how these conditions can interact and be present even in one individual.

Healing is possible: for proof #@timfletcher/DID/Case Study

I was diagnosed with OSDD in 2017. We have come a long way in regulating our emotional responses and life is much more harmonious and a little less exhausting. Sometimes though, when there is a tentative effort to make friends, the prospective 'friend' starts to get (in my mind at least) too demanding and too close, the one inside who fears that closeness, panics completely and overrides all rationality. It's a long process, perhaps one day...

Yeah.. I didn’t hear a word you said. But I really tried.😂

finally understanding the difference between reacting and responding was life changing for me - I still dont' have a good grasp of it functionally, but I'm getting better ^^

Mike and M, thanks so much for this view of life from an autistic person with DID/plurality (or at least that of one alter in an autistic plural system) As another such person, I have a question that I’ve struggled with: how similar are “alters” and “parts” in DID or OSDD1b to “parts” in Schwarz’s IFS? I often hear them used as synonyms, but that confuses me. Is there an assumption in DID/OSDD1b, as there is in IFS, of a sharp distinction between “Self” and “parts” with a unitary/effectively singleton “Self” potentially complicated by plural “parts” - and that “Self” consisting only of “positive” attributes and all “negative” or troublesome attributes effectively outsourced to the “parts”? From my lived experience as a diagnosed autistic plural system who takes the concept of “plurality” literally, my perception is that each alter can have its own “Self” and “parts” with the result potentially being plural Selves in a system and with parts inside "parts". What is your view on this?

Different therapists Different rooms No consistency.

How long is the usual therapy process with CTAD for working with OSDD? I know there’s not going to be any specific time scale but trying to get some information in preparation for my current treatment being “time up” and how I explore next steps (even if that is a negotiation with ICB/CCG)

Incredibly useful! Thank you for this very informative video. I will subscribe to M's channel!

I think I am getting to this point, but wow is it a long, slow, challenging process. I'm fortunate that, at least in my adult life, and as far as I am aware, my amnesic barriers have always been pretty low. I only get amnesia in extremely triggering situations, these days, and even then it's hours or minutes I lose, not days. We also have a lot of internal communication, but that's taken many years to establish. I don't understand comments saying this is victim blaming. This isn't saying that it is your fault that you were traumatized and that you dissociate. It's saying that if you want to get better, if you want to have less amnesia and dissociate less, then it is necessary to do the work towards healing. Is it fair that you were put in a situation that necessitates you now having to do that healing work? No, of course not. It's horrible, and it sucks and it should have never happened. But it did. So now you have to chose how you want to proceed. This video is describing a path that can help you have less disruptive dissociation, and more control in your life, that's all.

You don’t have to carry the memories. Cruel. Everyday stuff is survivable.

Such a misinformed and outdated lecture. This is such a disservice. Please keep more up to date with the latest research on me/cfs.

For folks confused by this video, I’ll try to clear things up. Firstly, at no point have I ever said that dissociation from trauma is a choice people make. This is a defence enacted within the brain as a result of some form of complex traumatic experience. Secondly, some people find moving from emotion to thought prior to behaviour easy, others find it almost impossible. The time and effort needed to achieve noticing and altering behaviour as a decisive process varies enormously, so some people get this as an initial stage of therapy, some struggle with it long into therapy. Lastly, to be able to prevent a dissociative episode when triggered can be a process of choice when practiced, skilled and supported. This is more advanced. Hope that clarifies!

Thank you for validation.

Fuck Mental Health B.S. is for bullshit In comparison to the Medicare mental health system this man is the smartest psych anything I never met.

I just didn’t think that having other people in my head was not usual.

I need help. I’m in Florida. I’m having scary memories. Who can I go to?

I think this is a good video, but based on the comments, it seems your point was lost on many viewers. Certain elements of your wording I think made the point unclear. It might be helpful to make a follow-up clarification video, and perhaps talk about emotional regulation, the window of tolerance, and working to expand it in order to gain conscious control where there previously was none. I do agree with other commenters that this isn't really an "advanced" technique. It's really one of the first things you should be learning and working on. However, noticing and regulating is a skill that is built over time through experience. To actually get to the point of being able to control whether you dissociate *is* something that only happens in the later stages of therapy, after much work and practice. I spent several years working on my ability to not dissociate. When I started it was very automatic and uncontrollable. But with lots of time and practice, my window of tolerance grew, and now I don't immediately dissociate when triggered. There are still times I dissociate, if the trigger is heavy enough, but it's much less frequent than before and much less extensive even when I do dissociate. But I've been doing this trauma work for 5 years now. It's not a skill that I built overnight.

Thank you, all your videos have been so helpful 😊 I feel calm as soon as I hear the intro 🎶 Apparently, I watched this one already, but I don't remember. The only verbal I'm getting is very faint, like it's really far away. And it's just single words. Like "scared" I have found it makes such a difference telling myself "I feel you" or "I hear you" when I feel a flashback coming on. Hearing or telling myself "You're safe now" is very comforting to me. Makes all the difference. But self-doubt always creeps in. I blamed and hated myself for so long, it's hard to break out of. It's a daily conflict. When I question or doubt the trauma it makes me feel much worse! I'm having flashbacks in dreams too. The cry of a traumatised child is absolutely heart breaking.

That sounds like the number one goal, great idea, but how do you get there when all the standard tips and tricks have failed?

A recent therapist we had told us to simply "stop dissociating" and that it was a conscious choice we were making, and if we didn't stop we would end up hospitalized. We felt quite horrible about this because we couldn't get our mind to stop, and trying to without any help on *how* to do that just made things worse. So thank you for this video, it helped a lot to know that this conscious choice takes work and is more of a goal in therapy than something that can be done with a simple command. (She also suddenly ghosted us, so it wasn't a great fit for us anyway.)

Can people including myself be a good parent have children . ?

4:32 What would likely be the result if an adult did suddenly remember their childhood trauma after experiencing similar circumstances? Total breakdown?

This is what my therapist has been trying to teach me. It's slowly sinking in, and getting the window of tolerance down helps a lot too.

I also appreciated the fokus on triad here, to avoid chaos inside. At the same time; when we are plural, the respons is different for every part. So chaos is also the discussions inside about that. I enjoyed the content in this video a lot. For me; very helpful! I have already listened to it several times!

This explains a lot. Would it make sense that as you are getting used to doing this and going through the process of trying to establish this that you can end up in a kind of stand off with the dissociation type process? So for example (with DID), if you have that cognitive element there but its only partly developed and so what happens is that as a system you try to do this, but then another dissociative part is also present and is trying to take over at the same time. So the dissociation is trying to happen, whilst you're trying to include the cognitive process, which then kind of gets stuck and manifests as a stand off between parts? Sorry if that doesn't make sense or is something different completely, was just a thought when watching. Thanks for the video 😊🌸

isn't that similar to the principals of the practice of awareness? bringing a gap between emotion and reaction really has the effect of reducing stress for me. can't do that 24/7 but it helps to listen and watch for that as often as possible, and doing that it becomes more (and than I forget again 😅 ) think my therapist talks about developing something like a scout looking out for what is happening behind the scenes while expierencing something that I feel is not mine f.e. but it has taken a long time period until I understood what that meant. During therapy I wasn't able to do that for a long time, now with the new therapist it feels so much easier to recognize and use that gab and it helps understanding more from other parts.

I wish I could have a fire-side chat with you about consciousness, language, and indentification overall. I swear..i hardly even think in English anymore. It's always a awkward challenge for me to communicate even though, through online text, I can communicate seemingly coherently.

I was just having this conversation yesterday with a friend, trying to explain it. We both have DID, but our paths have been VERY different. She has almost no control over when alters come out. She knows likely situations, but lacks the skills to stop the dissociation (&/or to be coconscious during the event (behavior part)). My therapy journey has been very different in that the triad was introduced VERY early on, pretty much simultaneously with stabilization. I always assumed it was because I live alone, so it’s nice to have the validation that something was done well. What this has meant for us is a delay in moving onto the Trauma Exploration phase. But, also, losing time & full dissociation is rare my life now. It’s nice to be able to do things such as plan our therapy sessions before walking through the door. This ability has GREATLY reduced our anxiety levels & PTSD/CPTSD reactions. We are able to go into situations that would have previously almost guarantee a switch & choose to stay present. I wish everyone could feel the sense of power & self-control it brings. Thank you sooo much for explaining this process. I was having trouble putting it into words explaining it to her. - Heidi

I find that with the more thoughtfulness enters the process, the more exhausting daily life feels. But that probably gets better with more and more practise and getting used to managing oneself.

Thank you! Especially the part of how the sense of "self" can be lost because of that cognition is absent. That is my experience. I'm still mostly just realizing that I dissociate and "observe" myself. Fear of the dissociation is less so the amnesia is happening not so often. It is very important for me/us to know I can discuss it with my therapist and step by step learn to ask questions "inside" about what happened.

With therapy, hard work and practice I have learned to choose not to dissociate in most situations or to delay it. I’m not always successful of course.

Thank you so much for this, 1000 times over! This was so validating - the trouble in getting therapy, with grounding, with changes needs, with how exhausting social contact can be or how little social contact I seem to want (because I'm already exhausted from dealing with all of my own emotions and signals)...

Cognitive Delayed Gratification...🤔 I have to process and describe my perceptions in my own way and I know that I default to dissociative states quite easily I often would drive to a place and not remember how I got there as if I was here then I'm there I don't remember driving, this has happened I am trying to understand myself. And why I behaved the ways I did After diag ASD very late and all the affective masking , all of it total overwhelm plus I am relatively certain I also have adhd

After 3 days of spiralling and binging psychology videos to try distracting myself, I’m so glad TH-cam put this in my feed. Was very unfortunately diagnosed with coexisting personality disorders (BPD and DID) in 2014 before being diagnosed with CFS in 2016, then more recently CPTSD in 2022 (late diagnosis). Even having a mostly healthy lifestyle these days with actively exercising, eating cleaner, being sober (of drug and alcohol), I still experience extreme fatigue. It’s so exhausting and gets worse around the time DST ends.

Noticing dissociation is terrifying...

The problem is that when you add the cognitive part and you also have dissociation you notice that everything looks unreal and it just causes panic and it's terrifying, but if you're unaware that you're dissociating, it's not scary.

Our dissociation is a defensive signal that we need more help and guidance in therapy. Its NOT a choice, its automatic. Nor can I stop a switch, though in the past if I tried, the effort hurt my brain a LOT

In the USA people with dissociative disorder especially DID get turned away and told they cannot be helped

This is helpful, and I disagree with the people criticising your wording. All behaviours and reactions are choices when it comes down to it- after a lot of therapy controlling that choice gets easier. This is something I learned in DBT weirdly. Hoping that eventually I'll be able to control dissociation a bit more with more trauma therapy :) thanks for your hard work!

Man i had to watch this video twice over lol. First time i was like, man i dont struggle with that stuff! My therapist mustve been way off base, noting my dissociation and trauma history. Then i realized thay maybe i just dont have as much awareness as id thought.

All systems are different, obviously everyone's brain is wired differently. That being said it seems like it would take a herculean amount of effort to get every headmate in our system to help stop the dissociation after the triggering event. It goes from trigger to "waking up" a hot mess of snot and tears and most of the time not where the body was parked at the moment of the trigger. There doesn't seem to be any time or way to stop from slipping. It doesn't feel that way from the inside at least at this moment. Our therapist is working on helping to shorten the episodes but having any choice seems out of the realm of possibility. Again .... not speaking for all systems. For clinical notes.... we are a system of 6 that was diagnosed in August 2022 after two psychiatric hospitalizations. No judgments, but want to give our system's perspective at this time. #psychosisisnotacrime #savethesinglets