Was Harvard Worth It? The Hidden Cost of Attending an Ivy League College

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 พ.ค. 2024
  • The lowdown on the culture at Harvard college, from a recent grad. In a word: toxic. Let's be real about the mental health cost of attending Harvard (✏️Video Notes Below ↓↓↓)
    Mental Health Resources:
    / covmjuzhp8e
    checkpointorg.com/global/
    ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••­­­•••••••••
    👉🏾 Found this video valuable?
    ☕️ Buy me a coffee: www.buymeacoffee.com/ahsanteb
    🤝 Support on Patreon: / ahsantetheartist
    Find me on the socials!
    ❯ 📸 Instagram: / ahsanteb
    ❯ 💬 Twitter: / ahsanteb
    💌 Join my Growth In Progress newsletter to get my personal life lessons: www.ahsantetheartist.com/subsc...
    ❓❓ Got Questions? Check my FAQs: www.ahsantetheartist.com/faq/
    ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••­­­•••••••••
    ✏️ Notes
    🎥 Videos I referenced:
    How I Got Into Harvard ► • How I Got Into Harvard...
    The Biggest Mistakes at Harvard College ► • The Biggest Mistakes I...
    My Harvard Advice & Experience Playlist ► • The Secret to a Stella...
    Personal Development Playlist ► • Escaping the Expectati...
    The culture at Harvard was rough, y'all. I was completely unprepared for the level of cutthroat competition and constant comparison to your peers. There's an idealization of Harvard in popular culture, but you don't hear about the mental health issues on campus - which I've seen as a theme across the Ivy League. And the institution often provides students with very little support. Yes, it's great to be a Harvard alumnus, and my career has gone great places, but let's be real about the sacrifice - not everyone makes it out.
    #Harvard #MentalHealth #IvyLeague
    ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••­­­•••••••••
    🛠 THINGS I USE & RECOMMEND (affiliate links)
    ❯ The Equipment I Use to Film Videos: kit.co/AhsanteB/vlog-making-kit
    ❯ Captions by Rev - get a $10 off with this coupon! www.rev.com/blog/coupon/?ref=...
    ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••­­­•••••••••
    👋🏾 Hey! I'm Ahsante the Artist :) I make videos to help you move consciously and creatively through life. I talk about personal development, self care, wellness, social awareness, intersectionality, and mental & physical health. I hope you join me!

ความคิดเห็น • 4.2K

  • @AhsanteB
    @AhsanteB  2 ปีที่แล้ว +439

    👋🏾 Hey, thanks for watching! Here are my other reflection videos on Harvard and overachievement for your viewing pleasure:
    ❯ The Biggest mistakes I Made at Harvard College: th-cam.com/video/GN8anFdZoPM/w-d-xo.html
    ❯ How I Stopped Hating Myself: th-cam.com/video/TaPiMZYGtl8/w-d-xo.html
    ❯ Productivity Obsession Ruined My Mental Health, Here's How I Recovered: th-cam.com/video/nPrJOIMJCr0/w-d-xo.html
    Or watch my full playlist on personal growth 🌱: th-cam.com/play/PLPTqUXuJ7a5e2qElloQM3mk5bRuE0f5WG.html
    *Also note a correction, the clubs are called "final clubs" not "finals clubs"

    • @pschutzer
      @pschutzer 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What do you think about the Harvard Crimson ‘s recent acceleration in anti Jewish sentiment ?

    • @35mayocynthia
      @35mayocynthia ปีที่แล้ว +1

      As a Harvard graduate do you think that the quality of education at Harvard is better than a state university?

  • @victorybeginsinthegarden
    @victorybeginsinthegarden 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3707

    so that shirt is not only a flex its a symbol that says I survived an education cult

    • @AhsanteB
      @AhsanteB  3 ปีที่แล้ว +703

      Literally a badge of survival!!

    • @rasmus7493
      @rasmus7493 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      *A cult that is purely optional and from which everyone is free to leave.
      Edit: not discouraging anyone from sharing their experiences as it's really important for everyone to know what they're walking into. I would never go or get into an ivy, but i find it quite pathetic that people who are salty, that people far exceed them feel it necessary to project so hard that ivy's are horrific cults.
      Edit 2: Zoe Sofiadou is braindead.

    • @jc8198
      @jc8198 2 ปีที่แล้ว +165

      @@rasmus7493 Literally all cults are optional, “from which everyone is free to leave”.... you needa look up the physiology behind cults

    • @aidenl5215
      @aidenl5215 2 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      @@jc8198 no they’re not at all. There are many reasons why someone may feel the need to join a cult or an Ivy League school. Upbringing and social pressure ect; for many cultures a possibility for your child to raise the family up through the social mobility ladder is too big of an opportunity to miss. Some people feel they have no other choice at all

    • @dugebuwembo
      @dugebuwembo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This 👆🏿

  • @daivonclark5151
    @daivonclark5151 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4232

    I remember hearing that when it comes to these types of schools, the degree itself isnt the point. The reason these elite schools are so expensive is because you get the chance to make connections with future "important" people. As they say, its not how hard you work, its who you know. 😩

    • @ashishtrehan1
      @ashishtrehan1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +968

      not the grades you make, but the hands you shake

    • @treiskushrenada6332
      @treiskushrenada6332 2 ปีที่แล้ว +200

      @@ashishtrehan1 now that is quite the quote😮

    • @claireconolly8355
      @claireconolly8355 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      100% true

    • @EdDunkle
      @EdDunkle 2 ปีที่แล้ว +189

      Absolutely. My dentist's son went to Harvard and was on the golf team, and spent all of his time playing video games and not making connections. Drove my dentist crazy.

    • @courtneywashington9866
      @courtneywashington9866 2 ปีที่แล้ว +111

      Totally agree. I always say ivy league schools teach you about how to network with alum and to secure a job/internship/etc. before graduating. I must say alums do look out for one another. Just speaking from experience.

  • @halli2196
    @halli2196 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3020

    For students looking into colleges, the most important things to look out for are #1 how much debt you’re going to leave with #2 how well does the school support students (can usually be visualized by the graduation rate, job rate after graduation, and services available to students) and #3 the strength of the program you’re interested in. Sure, having an Ivy League school on your resume will help but it may not be worth it if it ruins your finances and mental health. Another piece of advice: get internships in college! Having actual work experience is crucial!

    • @ak203
      @ak203 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Ivy schools are the cheapest schools if you are from a poor or middle class background. There are no loans, only grants. Your information is completely incorrect.

    • @ak203
      @ak203 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Ivies have no debt. None. Suggestion: don't form opinions when you know nothing about a subject.

    • @halli2196
      @halli2196 2 ปีที่แล้ว +161

      @@ak203 wow this was very dramatic. I didn't say that ivies are always a bad financial decision. I just said its important to consider how much debt you'll leave school with (applies to ivy and non-ivy schools). For example, choosing in-state vs. out-of-state schools. To say that nobody from ivy league schools have debt is just simply false though. The fact that you came back to reply again several days later really cracks me up though!

    • @pleasecontactme4274
      @pleasecontactme4274 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@halli2196 yeah the 6 day gap is hilarious

    • @JV3Player
      @JV3Player 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Don't forget the value of your education depends on the market supply and demand👍

  • @mma4842
    @mma4842 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2878

    I’m a first-year at Harvard College and the way you just voiced everything that I’ve been feeling (like i’m not good enough, alone, stressed, etc) all i can say is thank you. I thought I was the only one going through this but to know that you went through it and overcame it is reassuring. It sucks that you went through such an experience and it’s even more disheartening to know that nothing much has changed.

    • @PrepExpert
      @PrepExpert 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      congratulations!

    • @esraathanoon197
      @esraathanoon197 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      oh my god you better do ur best so u get a better experience.

    • @GFSongbird
      @GFSongbird ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Kind of like a big sister right?

    • @michaeltaylor7332
      @michaeltaylor7332 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Quit go to university of Miami but before you do get a student loan buy a condo at least at the end of your degree you have equity and a sliver of sanity with good stories and real friends

    • @Mirror9191
      @Mirror9191 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hey can u help me ?

  • @AnneS508
    @AnneS508 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12948

    I did my masters and PhD at Harvard. It was brutal, stressful, highly competitive and anxiety provoking. I had nightmares, literally, for years after graduation - that I never actually graduated and had to return, that I was enrolled in a course I only found out about at exam time, etc. Knowing what I know now, I would definitely not choose Harvard again. And, although it was not nice being AT Harvard, it was nice being FROM Harvard. The name certainly carries a lot of recognition and prestige. The price you pay for that, though, is way too high.

    • @nubianpwr
      @nubianpwr 2 ปีที่แล้ว +661

      Beautifully and poignantly written...

    • @mufaro1988
      @mufaro1988 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1045

      I’m so sorry I laughed at the “I was enrolled in a course I only found out about at exam time” cause that is literally a nightmare regardless of where you study 💀😂😂

    • @itzelmontalvo6645
      @itzelmontalvo6645 2 ปีที่แล้ว +117

      I have some questions, I hope you answer them, I am really curious :
      Where did you get your undergrad?
      What field is your undergraduate, masters and phD on?
      Did you make friends?
      How did Harvard accept you? What are they looking for? Your GPA? Your extrarriculars? Job experience? Internships? Or something else?
      What university would you have chosen then?
      How did being from Harvard helped you? Did you land a high-paying position?

    • @atift5465
      @atift5465 2 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      That is insanse! I loterally have the same exact nightmares still!

    • @Anew3A3
      @Anew3A3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Wow thank you for sharing!

  • @RC-ld3cn
    @RC-ld3cn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4450

    My friend's daughter graduated from Harvard with a BS degree in Sociology and she makes the same salary as all the other people in her office who went to local colleges. The big difference was, the Harvard grad has more college debt to pay.

    • @Princess-rb9yd
      @Princess-rb9yd 2 ปีที่แล้ว +647

      I think it’s mostly because she graduated with a social science degree with little to no hard skills…

    • @elliebellie7816
      @elliebellie7816 2 ปีที่แล้ว +239

      If she didn't realize this until she graduated she's not as smart as I would think a Harvard student would be.

    • @alwaysyouramanda
      @alwaysyouramanda 2 ปีที่แล้ว +383

      I worked at a warehouse with people who had degrees.. our boss didn’t even have a HS diploma but he told me he just lied about going to college a few years prior. He went on to make 6 figures in another building.
      Wild.

    • @alwaysyouramanda
      @alwaysyouramanda 2 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      I have actually noticed a couple people lie about going to school while they really aren’t. They’re probably gearing up for a resume embellishment.

    • @NOCLUEinvalid
      @NOCLUEinvalid 2 ปีที่แล้ว +402

      I hate that some people commented on this acting like sociology degrees are worthless. There are so many jobs available for liberal arts majors and just because their major doesn’t line up for a specific job title doesn’t mean it’s worthless or dumb. It’s about being able to demonstrate how your soft skills can be an asset. People who act like soft skills are worthless need more experience interacting in teams or with people of different levels of soft skills. (And before people call me a salty liberal arts major, I’m a software engineer and I can tell how people with way better soft skills than me are able to do way better on teams.) I know a guy who studies classics at Stanford and he’s literally one of the smartest people ever. Also that department is small so he get to take advantage of more funds and resources.

  • @danutza305
    @danutza305 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2639

    I feel so sad for the students having to go through this....this is just so toxic and teaching and promoting a toxic culture. A person has value just for who they are not for what they can do, or know. Thank you for sharing this.

    • @korratheaustralianshepherd5804
      @korratheaustralianshepherd5804 2 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      not in a corporate and consumerist society...

    • @shreyaindia4024
      @shreyaindia4024 2 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      I started finding ppl from lesser known colleges to have more intrinsic qualities than ppl from well know colleges. The former seemed closer to life. They laughed easily. Everything was not logical or intellectual for them. They were like 'normal'.

    • @korratheaustralianshepherd5804
      @korratheaustralianshepherd5804 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@shreyaindia4024 down to earth?

    • @shreyaindia4024
      @shreyaindia4024 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@korratheaustralianshepherd5804 haha...yeah

    • @PrepExpert
      @PrepExpert 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's rough

  • @Jewao
    @Jewao 2 ปีที่แล้ว +845

    10:43 - cannot believe a school that is so prestigious does not even have proper mental health services for students. Highly competitive environments like these are extremely toxic and only end up creating narcissistic individuals. This environment seems horrible. Remember everyone you’re supposed to enjoy what you’re doing, and if you’re not enjoying it don’t endure it for long.

  • @sistahlamb
    @sistahlamb 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3538

    Nothing wrong with going to a community college, state university, or even a trade school and pursuing a career that way. These Ivy League colleges are just a status symbol.

    • @gazlives
      @gazlives 2 ปีที่แล้ว +112

      yeah but some doors will not be open to you unless you have an Ivey league credential.

    • @Ria_N9
      @Ria_N9 2 ปีที่แล้ว +207

      @@gazlives wrong

    • @slickrick8046
      @slickrick8046 2 ปีที่แล้ว +226

      @@gazlives
      Probably only if you’re getting a law degree. Other than that you’re just paying for the status.

    • @patrickmccutcheon9361
      @patrickmccutcheon9361 2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      I think it depends on the school. Some of the schools within the Ivy League really give the best education you can get as well as the credential. I think of business, law and medical and would add science and technology if you count MIT and Stanford especially if you looking at their super equipped grad schools.

    • @slickrick8046
      @slickrick8046 2 ปีที่แล้ว +96

      @@patrickmccutcheon9361
      Not true. It’s state schools with better engineering programs than Harvard and or just as good. All the material are the same. Ivy League universities are more about the status and network. Other than that it’s about the individual. And Stanford and MIT are not Ivy League universities so you can’t count them.

  • @JerryStevens
    @JerryStevens 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7295

    I went to community college so I don't know anything about Harvard but the impression I get from Ahsante's presentation reinforces my long-held suspicion that people don't go to college to be educated, it's about the credential. I have been successful without a Harvard degree and Ahsante would be successful without a Harvard degree. But the degree is a nice advertisement and I can see that the alumni connections are unmatched. Yes, the word "Harvard" did attract me to the video but I watched until the end because it's well done.

    • @fabiansandoval6132
      @fabiansandoval6132 2 ปีที่แล้ว +75

      Look Sam Harris talks about this, hes a famous neuroscientist. What he says is that the top companies hire Ivy League students NOT because of their education BUT because they are smart. You must be an outlier if youre successful but mostly those who graduate from somewhere like Harvard do very well and those from JCs rarely do.

    • @JerryStevens
      @JerryStevens 2 ปีที่แล้ว +415

      "All Ivy league graduates are smart" therefore "most JC graduates do not do well" is a non sequitur. All Ivy league graduates are smart but not all smart people go to Ivy League schools.

    • @jimmybob7028
      @jimmybob7028 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Gee, ya think???

    • @nevillewhite1966
      @nevillewhite1966 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@JerryStevens Bell Curve application?

    • @Cecilia13241
      @Cecilia13241 2 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      People like that go to college for the prestige, the social capital, to gain connections. If they don't see you as benefitting them, they won't give you the time of day. Really selfish way of thinking. And, many (not all of course) get into those top universities through connections, wealth, feeder schools. It's all to maintain their elitism. I also went to community college, btw lol

  • @cristinacruz6493
    @cristinacruz6493 ปีที่แล้ว +1080

    A big challenge for lower-middle-class kids that get into the Ivy League is that most of the students come from wealthy upper middle-class and very upper-class backgrounds. Financial limitations can really affect the social groups you are a part of in general. Most of the kids at the Ivy have money to spend on dinners, outings, and clubs. It adds another layer of stress.

  • @hearme4581
    @hearme4581 2 ปีที่แล้ว +579

    Narcissism is what comes to mind when I hear this. There are cults on big levels that we don’t see being a cult. Anything that puts you down or make you question yourself worth in order to obtain, is a process of breaking you down to be able to program you. It’s like a test. If you make it through your accepted into the “group “

    • @sauce8277
      @sauce8277 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Nope. It's just perspective. Harvard is place that just asks you "did you take control of your life, or were you just playing the game?" Hence why every activity there was someone doing it from 9 years old. You have to look at it like like a person. One person wont supply all your education as well as all your connections and to rely on on person is insanity. In the end it comes down to what YOU did. Did you create yourself or did you do what everyone else said you had to do to win. The ones who passed were the ones who the parents prepared them for how life actually works and the ones who didn't pass are the ones who thought there was a game. Unfortunately, her parents seemed to think it was a letters and numbers game you play to win.

  • @rodriguezelfeliz4623
    @rodriguezelfeliz4623 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3481

    A friend of mine applied for Harvard. Brilliant guy. He's the most smart, hard working AND caring person I know. He did not get in. It was heart breaking, but in a way I'm glad. I think that that kind of preassure could have destroyed him.

    • @itzelmontalvo6645
      @itzelmontalvo6645 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      He probably still went to a good university though, right?

    • @rodriguezelfeliz4623
      @rodriguezelfeliz4623 2 ปีที่แล้ว +328

      @@itzelmontalvo6645 well... he applied to other top 10 universities in the US, but he didn't get into any. I think it was because he was asking for a lot of financial help (since we live in a not very rich third world country hahaha). In the end he ended up going to the best university in our country, but still, it's a bit sad because if It was not for the money I'm sure he would have at least been accepted to one of the universities he applied to.

    • @theshinythings123
      @theshinythings123 2 ปีที่แล้ว +121

      @@rodriguezelfeliz4623 It's not a big deal for people who are smart to go to these top schools. They can still get a good degree and job without the debt. It's probably a good thing he didn't get in. When I was in high school the perception I had was that the name of the university mattered. After going to college I realized just getting some good internships for job experience is good enough and the actual university is not a big deal.

    • @rlkinnard
      @rlkinnard 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      While i think that the admissions system is unfair, I think that you can do well without going to Harvard.

    • @YoungJay5597
      @YoungJay5597 2 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      when i went to my aunts graduation from yale, they had a whole slideshow and moment of silence for the students who.. unalived themselves due to the stress pressure of the environment. it sadly seemed very common for these institutions.
      drinking a glass of champagne at 11 while hearing about these things; core memory.

  • @jasminerose3257
    @jasminerose3257 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6553

    This is helpful. I interviewed with Harvard in high school and it was one of the most humiliating experiences I've had academically. I am actually from a low income family, and I was a first generation college student. My interviewer asked a lot of personal questions about my family and how I felt about welfare. She kept asking me why I thought I was good enough to attend Harvard. I said that I was intelligent, and she said so are a lot of people and that being smart wasn't good enough. I came away from the whole process feeling dirty and wanting to cry. She said she didn't feel that I had what it took to survive on campus and maybe I could consider grad school as an option. For quite some time, I held some level of mild resentment for her. But after hearing your experience maybe she was looking out for me. IDK

    • @lovinglife419
      @lovinglife419 2 ปีที่แล้ว +343

      The Lord works in mysterious ways!

    • @iwakuraSanta
      @iwakuraSanta 2 ปีที่แล้ว +638

      As to welfare, you should have asked "do you mean the welfare that businesses tied to politicians get? Or the welfare that people like my parents got and I worked my way out

    • @jimbaker5110
      @jimbaker5110 2 ปีที่แล้ว +186

      @@GARRY3754 Yup. You will see many high ranking people in corporate America can be really a holes when you actually get to know them.

    • @Jenny-tm3cm
      @Jenny-tm3cm 2 ปีที่แล้ว +121

      This is why I decided not to try and become a dancer as a profession after high school, people tear you apart :/ I hope you’re doing well now!

    • @ShaferHart
      @ShaferHart 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      That's how I felt at my first job fair.

  • @albertlowe6412
    @albertlowe6412 2 ปีที่แล้ว +446

    I just turned down Harvard for Stanford. It was hard to do but I just felt way more passion for Stanford’s program. I also felt more warmth from them. I know I made the right decision. Thanks for this video.

  • @iamjwang
    @iamjwang 2 ปีที่แล้ว +105

    Fellow 2015 grad here -- don't think we knew each other on campus, but +1000 to everything you've said here! I cannot articulate it nearly as well. Great video and continued healing to us all...

    • @AhsanteB
      @AhsanteB  2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Thank you for validating with this comment! To healing indeed 🙏🏾

  • @syd_sterb
    @syd_sterb 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1867

    I have an engineering professor that went to MIT and Harvard and he continues to share that these schools are just not worth it…

    • @graciec8904
      @graciec8904 2 ปีที่แล้ว +223

      My college professor says the same thing. He has made speeches at Harvard and tells us it’s the same education, they just get more opportunities than we do at our four year college.

    • @dadyking1210
      @dadyking1210 2 ปีที่แล้ว +161

      MIT is worth it, if you’re very passionate about computer science. Their lectures are free online and the energy in those classes are way better than any class I had.

    • @JV3Player
      @JV3Player 2 ปีที่แล้ว +91

      If you're obtaining an engineering degree, you don't need an ivy league college😂 But if you're majoring in a recreational degree, like sociology...Yeah. An ivy league college will probably get you farther in the market.

    • @bigmacdaddy1234
      @bigmacdaddy1234 2 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      Your engineering professor is wrong. MIT is worth it. He got the job that he has today because he went to MIT.

    • @sachmo6864
      @sachmo6864 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      @@bigmacdaddy1234 "he has the job that he has today because he went to MIT" is a bold statement of fact without any attempt at qualification; this is poor form. Your statement suggests that if said professor had gone to a university other than MIT, that he would not be enjoying a position as well paid or prestigious as the one he currently has (seeing as the professor didn't say that higher education wasn't worth it, only that the institutions he attended weren't worth it).
      The problem is that you don't know where said professor teaches based on OP's comments - and even if you did, you probably wouldn't be familiar with the hiring standards for that institution off the top of your head. Moreover, one can reasonably assume the professor was giving his opinion within the context of being just that... an opinion. Not only was that opinion formed by life experiences you aren't privy to, but he can't be "wrong" about something that inherently subjective.
      However, since you asserted that he was only in his position because he, specifically, went to MIT... YOU can be wrong. I'm guessing you have a lot of brains, but they'll do you no good if you become too defensive or emotional to use them. Have a nice day.

  • @SnuggleBear1970
    @SnuggleBear1970 2 ปีที่แล้ว +473

    Experience at Harvard sounds like a boot camp for life in the corporate sector

    • @batjackjohnson252
      @batjackjohnson252 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Indeed. Turns out ALL the people who "hold all the cards," are extremely hard individuals.
      Could it be any other way ? 🤔 change human nature perhaps {as do many socio-economic systems claim}
      Me, I don't think so. However I'm just a cabby lol what do I know ?!

    • @toddscallan8781
      @toddscallan8781 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@batjackjohnson252 Yes. They are cut throat. Ironically the best way to crush them is to outwork them. It's funny those individuals are really childlike inside their psyche's. I had a chance on many occasions to watch the "implosion" that occurs when they realize that you are relentless and you are not going to yield. Those privileged twits liberally just run away and give up. It's interesting to observe.

    • @batjackjohnson252
      @batjackjohnson252 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@toddscallan8781 perhaps neglected emotional needs from a early age all throughout their younger years is the cause of such strange 🤔 personality flaws. Never the less cronyism wins the day, my friend. I too have come across a good deal of such types i a number of less formal relations. The fewest of the rare ever expressed even the slightest amount of authenticity in personality, genuine vulnerability (not for the purpose of manipulation) or any sort of development of emotional intelligence. However I have met a couple. Maybe even the creator of this video would be such an uncommon type.

    • @toddscallan8781
      @toddscallan8781 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@batjackjohnson252 Sorry. Chief. Anyone who holds the viewpoint that cronyism "wins" doesn't understand true power. Cronyism creates (by its application) the inability for its recipient to yield true authentic ruthlessness needed to deploy power.
      Your beliefs determine whether you accept the "false narratives" these weak minded people try to sell (and thereby create a buffer zone of protection for them not to be accountable).
      You just haven't had the pleasure of going the extra mile in order to capture real excellence. Good luck.

    • @batjackjohnson252
      @batjackjohnson252 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@toddscallan8781 haha you're a funny kid who probably has extremely limited experience in multiple municipal bureaucracies. If you're not in the USA then I understand. Otherwise you speak like a child who over compensates by reading books about power theory hahaha are you that guy ?! Haha that's rich, baby. You do you and tell me all about how society works hahaha
      Funny kid. If you're ever around SD let me know

  • @buckchile614
    @buckchile614 ปีที่แล้ว +392

    My son has both a PhD & MD. The former is from a state school, while the later is an Ivy. He spent some time acquiring volunteer credits at MIT after Harvard told him he lacked that component. He wound up at Penn. Both Ivy's turned him off due to their elitist attitudes. He started off at a community college. I'm glad that these experiences didn't turn him into an elitist himself. The best part is that his student debt is minimal to nothing. He's about to start his residency at Stanford(which was his first choice.) It seems that the volunteer component is a way that the Ivy's can turn away the less advantaged because the lower classes don't have the luxury of volunteering extensively.

  • @violetchan8129
    @violetchan8129 2 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    People are so concerned with being perceived as “the best” that they don’t stop and think what’s best for them

  • @nessazee
    @nessazee 3 ปีที่แล้ว +895

    I specifically chose to go to a chill liberal arts college because as a naturally hyper competitive person with generalized anxiety, I knew my sanity would not survive a hyper competitive school. Best decision I ever made. I got lifelong friends and great job opportunities out of it all the same.

    • @ellw7830
      @ellw7830 3 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      yes definitely! I'm going thru a liberal arts school right now, it's a bit stressful but i'm getting better at managing things and it's overall been very positive :)

    • @AhsanteB
      @AhsanteB  3 ปีที่แล้ว +212

      That sounds like a brilliant decision on your part. I think we over-glorify competitive schools, where they're really not the best option for everyone. It's great that you went with what suited you.

    • @SweatySockGaming
      @SweatySockGaming 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      What school i need to transfer

    • @deloresredman4792
      @deloresredman4792 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Good for you
      ..very smart decision....payed attention to your emotional well being knowing your worthiness with or without ivy league

    • @pinkvalentino
      @pinkvalentino 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      What is even liberal arts?

  • @toneyeye
    @toneyeye 2 ปีที่แล้ว +483

    It sounds like that's where they break the spirit of people and convert them into narcissists and psychopaths.

    • @franciscocz8384
      @franciscocz8384 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Because the real world is exactly like that, and those on top know very well about this.
      People fight for money, love, land, resources, etc... and people fight for it because there is not enough for everybody.
      I wish everybody to be rich... but is it possible?

    • @wolletemiriam1829
      @wolletemiriam1829 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Sounds about right 👀

    • @bricescott7373
      @bricescott7373 2 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      @@franciscocz8384 Lol, but the reality is there is enough for everyone to live comfortably. Why do you think we have so much waste and surplus in this country? If the countries of the world made it an initiative, we could properly distribute resources to those countries and groups of people that lack them. But we don’t cause capitalism

    • @franciscocz8384
      @franciscocz8384 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ​@@bricescott7373
      No.
      The third world countries make 77% of the world population.
      Do you think the waste and surpluss of the other 23% of the world is enough to end their poverty?

    • @peterhooper2643
      @peterhooper2643 2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      @@franciscocz8384 the world doesn't need to be as competitive as it is. America is a uniquely cruel society by OECD standards. I.e. its the only one that doesn't have paid maternity leave

  • @Niniene
    @Niniene 2 ปีที่แล้ว +806

    I'm feeling more grateful than ever that I went to a state university. I ended up in the honors dorm (so all students who had equivalent test scores/grades to people who attended ivies) and it was almost the polar opposite of Ahsante's experience. It was a huge house of nerds who loved each other (most of us remain close to this day), where we indulged in things we found interesting and supported each other. (It also had a much lower price tag!) And most of us ended up as engineers, teachers, or doctors, anyway...so it's not as though we'd be seeing a huge jump in salary due to the "brand", anyway...

    • @manuelsteele8030
      @manuelsteele8030 2 ปีที่แล้ว +66

      I am a firm believer in the "in-state public Ivy" for the home court advantage of studying. The inclusive community you noted was likely a strong factor for success. Imagine being at Harvard far from home with ultra-wealthy students who ostracize or belittle the blue-collar or middle class of students. Long ago I had a chance to visit MIT for graduate studies. They recruited me as a Native American engineer from out west. I am Apache from AZ. First of all, I knew the "stigma" of affirmative action would likely be in-place immediately. Second, the long-distance, culture shock, and wide difference in geographic and cultural surroundings of the far northeast just didn't seem amenable. Ultimately, I chose to stay at the "state schools". I have since gotten multiple master's degrees in the SEC, ACC, and Pac-12 - lol. I am now in a PhD at Arizona State for data science. The "in-state" universities are generally rigorous beyond the freshman level when the "not-so-serious" students are filtered out freshman year. At the upper-division levels there are many international students too. So, the rigor gets very high at in-state STEM programs with world-wide pools of students competing for grades. But the inclusiveness tends to be a lot better overall - not perfect but reasonable. So, I have been happy staying at state schools for graduate studies. They also have sports programs and social networks that I don't believe I would have experienced at MIT. That school just seemed really depressing from people I spoke with. Why not just study engineering at Florida State with hard studies during the week and fun on weekends socializing at the campus gym? The same could be done at UF, Arizona State, Arizona, UCLA, Oregon, or Texas.

    • @angelasaunders6891
      @angelasaunders6891 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      so did you get all A's to get in or take alot of challenging classes

    • @Niniene
      @Niniene 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@angelasaunders6891 Both. I had a GPA of 3.7 (so mostly As) and was a chemical engineering major (in 4 years!), so my coursework was also fairly challenging.

    • @lisanne9441
      @lisanne9441 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      may I ask which college did you go to

    • @lisanne9441
      @lisanne9441 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Niniene I’m thinking about taking chemical engineering as my major as well 🙃

  • @upscaleavenue
    @upscaleavenue 2 ปีที่แล้ว +385

    It took you _years_ to recover from the conditioning of that environment. I was quite taken aback when you said that. That should never be anyone's post-college experience. What a waste that Harvard, with all its vast wealth and resources, chooses not to foster an environment that is more evolved; an environment that supports, sustains, and uplifts its students - academically AND emotionally; an environment that, ultimately, values the dignity of every person. It is the richest university in the world, and it very well could do this. It could be exemplary, revolutionary.

    • @LS-ry5ey
      @LS-ry5ey ปีที่แล้ว +25

      thissssssss, this stuck out to me the most. 5 years AFTER (when the undergrad degree is only 4 years). Very sad, but I'm glad she's ok now

  • @myprettygirl91
    @myprettygirl91 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1418

    wow. you perfectly summarized everything that i felt about that place when i was there, graduated 2014. AND the aftermath. It's taken me years to get to a place where I can finally realize my worth again. Bless you for putting this into words.

    • @dandandkl9048
      @dandandkl9048 2 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      Young lady, glad to hear you’ve recovered from elite, white cultural brain washing…best of luck in your future…two rules I’ve learned in 43 years of working and living- be yourself and be happy, the rest is enjoy your journey in life.✌️🙏😇🇺🇸

    • @Arodnyc72
      @Arodnyc72 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Read my post on top, I don’t even have a G.E.D !!! Peace

    • @dandandkl9048
      @dandandkl9048 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Your worth is known only to you as you are the only one on your daily journey 24/7, so do not allow others to dictate your life or criticize your thoughts and actions. You sound like you’ve seen the light and realize what it takes to live in your life. Took me a long time to find myself, as growing as a Chinese American in the 1960s I was bombarded with being white was cool. Even in the 1970s, the colleges were already teaching socialist doctrines but they weren’t pushing down our throats like they are doing now. Good luck in all your future endeavors…if you ever feel lost just listen to sane, rational people like Jordan Peterson, Thomas Sowell, etc.

    • @anthony8385
      @anthony8385 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      she looks great.

    • @skankytrick
      @skankytrick 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dandandkl9048 How do you recommend people like Jordan Peterson and Thomas Sowell, yet you are seeming to also condemn Harvard College for "white cultural brainwashing"? Those are intelligent and rational people, but how could you people possibly appreciate anything they have to say when you are concurrently deluded into believing this psychopathic "white supremacy" racist nonsense? On one hand, you formulate your life views from the preachings of CNN and MSNBC, yet on the other hand you listen to Peterson and Sowell for leisure. Maybe I'm missing something.

  • @malcolmharrison6025
    @malcolmharrison6025 2 ปีที่แล้ว +682

    Ahsante, I stumbled across your video this morning. I'm Harvard Class of 1990 -- Adams House. We had our 20th reunion when you graduated so we were all in the Yard together. Like you I am also an African American from a middle class background. I was one of the first Harvard students to spend a semester in Buenos Aires. I went down in 1988 right after the resumption of democracy. That was a wild time to be down there. There was no program at the time. I did it all myself. It was a nice break to be "of" Harvard but not in it. Our experiences at Harvard are a generation apart but they are very similar. It is a tough, tough, tough place. But life is also tough, and I agree with you that having gone through Harvard you feel like you can take on anything. Anyway, I hope you are doing well. I'm going to show this video to my wife and my nieces. I have one who would a perfect fit for Harvard because she is smart and has the drive to make it in a hyper competitive environment. Good luck!!......Malcolm

    • @AhsanteB
      @AhsanteB  2 ปีที่แล้ว +83

      Really appreciate this comment, thank you Malcolm!

    • @joaquinczikk8085
      @joaquinczikk8085 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@AhsanteB I am from Buenos Aires, I love my city! nice that you had such a great time there

    • @SharisVoice
      @SharisVoice 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Welcome to TH-cam

    • @barnabasspeaks
      @barnabasspeaks 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Great comment, Malcolm!

    • @sciencenerd777
      @sciencenerd777 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      How was Buenos Aires as a black man.... I really don't like adding race to something but I hear Argentina is not really kind to black people

  • @EngallaMartial
    @EngallaMartial 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    When everyone’s a superhero, no one is a superhero...

  • @spokoju8199
    @spokoju8199 2 ปีที่แล้ว +474

    I used to envy a person who got accepted into harvard. I'm from poland, europe but have wealthy parents so finacially studying abroad is an option. I just never liked being put under huge pressure and the whole concept of meritocracy itself. It kind of changed when a friend of mine got accepted. My mother shamed me into thinking I'm actually a worse person than he is as I don't work hard enough academically, rather focusing on my writing and filmmaking skills because I consider both film school and theater academy. It took me some time to realize there is no point in feeling guilt or shame. I'm just different than he is and that's okay. It doesn't make me less smart or not capable of having a good future and a well-paid job. I just hate the fact some of us tend to associate the "best" colleges/universities in the world with superiority. It's so hard to get in and plenty of intelligent, hard-working people get rejected. Some, like me, don't even want to go. Some don't have enough money and don't fancy being in debt for the rest of their lives. At the end of the day, education, let alone finishing a top-notch school, doesn't even mean that much. I just wish more people knew.

  • @ILoveSomebodySoMuch
    @ILoveSomebodySoMuch 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1197

    This was a very interesting video! As an European, I hadn't even considered the possible downsides of attending Harvard, as the only information I have of the place is through American series and movies

    • @AhsanteB
      @AhsanteB  3 ปีที่แล้ว +223

      Right!! It seems so righteous and elevated in the media - I wish someone had prepared me for what it would really be like. Glad you liked it!

    • @cocomarineblu993
      @cocomarineblu993 2 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Anyone could google more information about any subject. It’s not a good idea to get facts and opinions from a movie. Many of those things can be stereotypes, not be truthful, not be reality, and not even be the actual set of the campus.

    • @flamebrazendale5601
      @flamebrazendale5601 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Same as a New Zealander

    • @soulbasedliving
      @soulbasedliving 2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      @@AhsanteB a healthy mistrust of Big Media is thankfully growing within today's youth

    • @cartooncottage2024
      @cartooncottage2024 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@AhsanteB Glad you're telling us how it really is.

  • @jcfc8197
    @jcfc8197 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1989

    Congratulations on graduating from Harvard. That’s a huge accomplishment and you should be very proud of yourself. I didn’t go to college, I joined the US Navy and retired after 20 years of service. I haven’t worked a day since I was 38. Harvard sounds horrible.

    • @femiairboy94
      @femiairboy94 2 ปีที่แล้ว +179

      This comment is gold 😂

    • @mangss9602
      @mangss9602 2 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      My man!

    • @temiavalmoja742
      @temiavalmoja742 2 ปีที่แล้ว +78

      you have great retirement benefits to not work. Hope you used the VA to buy a home.

    • @aracelimalone1167
      @aracelimalone1167 2 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      Thank you for your service Sir! 🇺🇸

    • @souppastes5519
      @souppastes5519 2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      I think it varies from person to person. My father was in the military but he actively dissuaded me from joining, as the environment isn’t for everyone, which was fine with me. Thankfully, I did not go to an Ivy League

  • @kathleengomez2883
    @kathleengomez2883 2 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    Omg. Holy shit. This was my exact experience at UC Berkeley. I know it’s not Harvard but they sure think it is in California. I also strongly considered dropping out but it just wasn’t an option as a first gen, first to college. It really messed with my sense of self worth as well, like I seriously also had to claw my way back for 5 years after graduating. If I had to do it again I would go anywhere else. Thank you for making this video

    • @mtngrl5859
      @mtngrl5859 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Berkeley has one of the highest number of Nobel Prize Winners that teach there. It is not a good place to study for an undergraduate degree, many are taught by grad students.

  • @tsalt25
    @tsalt25 2 ปีที่แล้ว +238

    Girl the over-assignment of readings RESONATED. I tried to do all the reading my first week in grad school (not at an ivy, but a similarly competitive and prestigious private university with the #clout lol) and quickly realized the workload is impossible. I don’t think they give those assignments for us to complete, but rather for us to figure out how to cope with the stress discern what’s most important. Personally I hated the whole vibe of that place and am glad to be rid of it lol. By graduation, most of my cohort was in the same headspace. It’s too much, man. Personally, not worth it for me, even five years out.
    Also, the 25 page syllabuses drove me NUTS lol

    • @tsalt25
      @tsalt25 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@dewdrops8831 Yessss it’s nuts!! I remember talking with a friend about the curve in software engineering courses at our school; averages were in the 20s. If you gotta curve the grade that far, I just can’t see how it’s worth it. Or at all effective.

    • @MyKneeHurts
      @MyKneeHurts 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@tsalt25 Hey what university are you talking about. Would love to know.

    • @wnalikka
      @wnalikka ปีที่แล้ว

      Lol that had me wondering how long my essays in college were, man !

    • @fortusvictus8297
      @fortusvictus8297 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@tsalt25 Managing workload and stress is an implicit goal of the ivy league. There are so many of the MOST talented in each class there has to be some way to separate the wheat from the chaff and the rotten from the healthy. Of course, no system is perfect, but weeding out people with extremely weak mental fortitude is an important aspect when you consider the jobs and roles in society graduates of these institutions enter immediately. Do you really want everyone to be full of themselves and totally balling the whole time? Grading is on a curve for a reason, and that part works at least.

  • @coltoncarter2237
    @coltoncarter2237 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1181

    +1 to everything you said in this video. I first found your channel right when I got accepted to Harvard in 2016, and now I'm graduating in a few weeks (after taking a year off before my final semester). I feel like the more time I spent at Harvard, the more jaded I got about it, and I'm really ready to be done. Re: extracurriculars, it was also really discouraging that people choose to keep creating more and more exclusive spaces on a campus that is already super exclusive. The vibe of the school is not "come as you are." It is "come as you want to be 5 years from now" and there's no space for anything other than that overachieving, constant striving/pressure.

    • @AhsanteB
      @AhsanteB  3 ปีที่แล้ว +278

      THIS - "come as you want to be 5 years from now" not "come as you are" is such an apt way to put it. Congrats on making it through & graduating!

    • @je-2024_1
      @je-2024_1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +94

      I'm 54 and I feel sorry for all of the younger people today trying to navigate this political and non-political landscape live your life and just be a good person that's all............

    • @mixedandknot5911
      @mixedandknot5911 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      You have made it this far, go for the glory. Congratulations!

    • @rayvnmccullough4819
      @rayvnmccullough4819 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@je-2024_1 when people don't add anything to the conversation. It is the worst

    • @digitallocations1423
      @digitallocations1423 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Congratulations! You made it through.

  • @SyDiko
    @SyDiko 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1131

    My cousins close friend went to Harvard (and eventually obtained her Juris Doctor from Harvard Law). She said the exact same things in this video - basically, if you aren't wealthy the competitiveness in Harvard demands selectiveness. That is, if you're wealthy and know people then your entry into Harvard is all but guaranteed. The structure is designed to selectively halt the 'poor' and that social-class is anyone that doesn't have old wealth. For 6 years she had to dedicate and 'stand out' while attending Harvard. She said, those that were socially higher just walked onto campus as if they owned the place (and they did lol).

    • @ak203
      @ak203 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You are wrong. I went to HLS and wealth had zero to do with anything. I went to another Ivy for undergrad and wealth had zero to do with anything. The issue is self-confidence and fortitude. If you don't have both you'll have problems regardless of wealth or background. Poor kids have been going to Harvard for well over 100 years and they do fine.

    • @ak203
      @ak203 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Completely false. Totally false. Ridiculous.

    • @maximum_entropy
      @maximum_entropy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      @@ak203 dude had to come respond to the comment again almost a week later lol

    • @ak203
      @ak203 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@maximum_entropy ?

    • @deliarebaudengo5440
      @deliarebaudengo5440 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@maximum_entropy 😂😂😂

  • @BlackFiresong
    @BlackFiresong 2 ปีที่แล้ว +336

    I went to a different Ivy League uni, but this video really resonated with me, in particular having to take years to unlearn the self-worth-crushing thought patterns that I created in my brain during my time there. It's interesting that you felt that your time there gave you the mental fortitude to tackle tough real-world work situations - I actually feel like it did the opposite for me. My self-esteem was in the gutter after I graduated, and that made it difficult for me to feel like I deserved to be hired for any challenging jobs. I still feel that way, and I still compare myself constantly to others who are more successful. It's tough, and I do wonder if my mental health would be in a better place if I'd gone somewhere more "ordinary".

    • @alanlight7740
      @alanlight7740 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      High self-esteem is highly correlated with criminality. Intelligent people know their own limitations, and decent people recognize the value of others.
      So don't worry about low self-esteem, as long as you have self-respect - and on the self-respect side, the mere fact that you were able to get _in_ to an Ivy says more about you than what you did after you were there. The fact that you are introspective about your experience also says something positive about your character.
      There's always going to be someone smarter than you, someone wiser than you, someone faster than you, someone stronger than you - if not in one way then in another. That's true of every single person in the world. There will also always be someone (probably an awful lot of someones) who is more stupid, more foolish, slower, and weaker - if not in one way then in another. That is also true for every single person in the world. You just be you, and let the others worry about themselves.
      Take care.

    • @bluesclues3820
      @bluesclues3820 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      How did people treat you post grad?

    • @alwaysbored47
      @alwaysbored47 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I went to an ordinary school for undergrad and did pretty well there and then went to a really good one after for post grad...
      My self confidence is in the gutter but I think I tasted reality and I need to improve myself before I think about doing something more challenging.
      What I wanted to say is..You managed to get into an Ivy League school for undergrad. Even if you hadn't, you might have gone for something that would have been very challenging after that, that would have probably resulted in the same line of thought. Do your best hanging in there and I hope things work out for you.

    • @lois4544
      @lois4544 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I hope you know that you will fall in love with yourself one day, just take one day at a time.

  • @riprocop
    @riprocop 2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    My daughter worked hard to get into UCLA. She will graduate this year with Zero debt. Thank You CalVet and Chapter 35.

  • @outsidergirl
    @outsidergirl 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3083

    So what you're saying is...The Social Network is correct?
    For real though, one of my best friends from high school went to Harvard. I went to visit her for her birthday one year and I started talking to someone at a party and as soon as I mentioned that I didn't go to Harvard she just kind of...walked away. The vibe is off!

    • @AhsanteB
      @AhsanteB  3 ปีที่แล้ว +714

      It's funny because that movie came out right as I was starting! It makes sense why they were so brutal to each other as founders. The vibe is OFF

    • @digitallocations1423
      @digitallocations1423 2 ปีที่แล้ว +258

      That was extremely rude.

    • @teniola9304
      @teniola9304 2 ปีที่แล้ว +100

      YIKES! 😲

    • @cartooncottage2024
      @cartooncottage2024 2 ปีที่แล้ว +250

      Wow! They really are as pompous and elitist as they seem. Legally Blonde, imo also portrayed Harvard well. Some really seem like competitive snobs.

    • @___Anakin.Skywalker
      @___Anakin.Skywalker 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Where did you go to then?

  • @JulianJohnsonjuelzkellz
    @JulianJohnsonjuelzkellz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +307

    I was friends with the top guy in my high school class. He had a 99 average. I asked him why he didn’t apply to Harvard? He responded, “you have to be a 3 eyed monster to go there!” I now realize like the saying goes, “there’s levels to this”…

  • @Waris1976
    @Waris1976 2 ปีที่แล้ว +565

    I went to "The Harvard of the West": The University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. It isn't a private Ivy League school. But it has an excellent academic reputation and is highly ranked. The undergraduate experience at Harvard sounds toxic and not fun. While Michigan was extremely challenging and the readings and assignments were INTENSE, my experience was 100 per cent positive. The campus atmosphere is lively and fun. I have a lot of friends and family who went to Ivies and they always seemed STRESSED. Michigan was fun. I am proud of my public university education.

    • @Peapod901
      @Peapod901 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Did you go for uMich business?

    • @kaibie1385
      @kaibie1385 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      I attended Michigan as well and the culture was nothing like Harvard in the video. I had a hard time at Michigan because I didn't make any lasting friendships and I had other things going on in my life that didn't help my mental health, but I wouldn't change my experience for the world. I fell in love with the city and hope to visit my brother (who is a current student there) over the summer. Ann Arbor holds a special place in my heart.

    • @RobertMJohnson
      @RobertMJohnson 2 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      michigan is NOT the "harvard of the west". would you get serious

    • @sophiakill2144
      @sophiakill2144 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lol I live in Ann Arbor

    • @Fashion040998
      @Fashion040998 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I went to U of M Dearborn lol, but I live in Ypsi now and study at WSU(still remote), so I do a lot of studying in Ann Arbor. And I have other ties too, but the vibes are pretty great

  • @bloodbuddy7
    @bloodbuddy7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +193

    Wow, this was so similar to my experience attending Cambridge as a woman of colour. Almost dropped out several times, due to the feelings of isolation and realizing the dream wasn't all it was made out to be. I really had some idealistic vision of it being a place where I would make all these intellectual breakthroughs with likeminded people, and while I did make some great personal breakthroughs with a small group of friends, the culture of the university as a whole was very conservative and 'traditional' (within that 'traditionalism' were many barriers toward studying subjects I wanted and being confined to a non-progressive curriculum, plus there was a huge amount of elitism, which was quite off putting to many people of colour and working class people who were not 'connected'). On top of that I was sexually assaulted on a couple of occasions, twice by men who were attending the college in years above mine (wealthy, connected yt men...) and I had no idea how to deal with/ process it, so I really didn't deal with it till after I graduated. I'm glad I finished my degree because it has made it easier to get jobs, but I spent many years recovering from the experience, which I didn't anticipate before going.

  • @steveandmarniecooper4522
    @steveandmarniecooper4522 2 ปีที่แล้ว +756

    I really appreciate this. My daughter is at an exclusive private school in VA, and she feels like a nerd among nerds. We have to remind her of her worth, daily. You've done well, and are a valuable asset to your fellow citizens. Thank you!

    • @jonothandoeser
      @jonothandoeser 2 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      The thing is, at some point the cocoon bursts and your child has to step out of academia. Then they end up at some work place along with all kinds of regular people. It can be a culture shock to realize that you have been living in a bubble, and that many of the things that you missed growing up are the very touchstones, cultural references, and common experiences, of the rest of society. You end up being a kind of intellectual cultural alien among your own countrymen.

    • @liftingisfun2350
      @liftingisfun2350 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@jonothandoeser ^ this. I came from an exclusive private school before college, went to another private university and then entered the corporate world surrounded by people I had to learn to relate with.

    • @samanthab6642
      @samanthab6642 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@jonothandoeser hmm I found d it refreshing being in a cutthroat environment to a laid back one with regular people. So much easier to be friendly and focus on one's own progress when environments are not cutthroat and overly competitive. I think her education will make the workforce easier and more enjoyable!

    • @samanthab6642
      @samanthab6642 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@liftingisfun2350 but you are right!! I am still trying to relate to people!!!

    • @jonothandoeser
      @jonothandoeser 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@samanthab6642 Not everyone has the same reaction of course. And relieving as it may feel to some, the point is that they do not share the name background as those they now work with. They are used to everyone around them working at a certain level, suddenly nobody is working at the level of pressure. Many who are used to a high-pressure, highly competitive environment continue to be VERY competitive, to a fault.

  • @sharstarg2414
    @sharstarg2414 2 ปีที่แล้ว +578

    The ONLY thing I can see as a plus to go to Harvard (any Ivy League) is the networking. Networking that gets you into jobs, fellowships, groups, country clubs, etc. That’s about it🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @mrmanq9517
      @mrmanq9517 2 ปีที่แล้ว +114

      That's all that matters in life...
      ur net worth is ur network😂

    • @elvisochieng6267
      @elvisochieng6267 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Yup it's all about the networks

    • @shells500tutubo
      @shells500tutubo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +77

      So true, especially if you want to be a Supreme Court Justice. Currently only one justice is not a graduate of an Ivy League law schools, and that is NOT a good thing.

    • @yes-vy6bn
      @yes-vy6bn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      nope. thats propaganda. networking is easy af; just go to an event. you dont need to pay 100k to network.

    • @punkgrl325
      @punkgrl325 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      At one point, yeah, but even LinkedIn is making that reason much harder to justify at this point.

  • @cristinacruz6493
    @cristinacruz6493 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    Everything she is saying is true. The culture at the Ivy schools can be a huge shocker for kids that aren't from elite high schools or the upper class who grow up with this type of exclusive/discriminatory attitude. There are good people everywhere however and you will make friends! but it will take more work than you expected, especially for kids who were top students or "nerds" in high school and thought that at Harvard they would finally meet their "true" peers.

  • @ericl452
    @ericl452 2 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    You make me feel good about being an engineering major at Georgia Tech. It was brutal, for me anyway, but I wasn't constantly competing. Graduation day was more of a relief than a happy time. My degree did pay off, so I'm happy about that.

    • @cmdtrigun
      @cmdtrigun 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Shout out Gatech. I felt like that was the best of both worlds (I did Compsci), very intelligent classmates but not a toxic competitiveness. But yes they really make it hard for you to graduate, I thought that too.

  • @mayamichelle6741
    @mayamichelle6741 2 ปีที่แล้ว +607

    This video completely resonates. I graduated from another prestigious university and the experience was so similar, extreme racism, sexism, classism, hierarchy, competition, one of hundreds of top students from across the country (which I thought would be cool), severe isolation and depression, zero mental health care. Graduation was anticlimactic, I was so relieved to get away from that place. This was my experience 20 years ago. I guess nothing has changed.

    • @joe-gh9qg
      @joe-gh9qg 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Yes, I hear that competition is overrated.

    • @shedydee4962
      @shedydee4962 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Been there and done that 26 years ago and apparently nothing has changed.

    • @BTTransformationTV
      @BTTransformationTV 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Thanks for being honest

    • @shedydee4962
      @shedydee4962 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@BTTransformationTV you bet. Leave the hype alone and become a success on your own terms.

    • @toddscallan8781
      @toddscallan8781 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Yes. It's part of the process. They want to turn you into ruthless machines.

  • @adrianalisitza5543
    @adrianalisitza5543 2 ปีที่แล้ว +249

    I don't really understand the American obsession with an ivy league undergraduate education, especially if the student isn't continuing on to graduate school.

    • @ron88303
      @ron88303 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Ivy league schools have a cache that has built up over the years, and many prominent people in all fields have graduated from those schools. Only time will tell if that will continue going forward, given the shift in emphasis from test scores to ethnicity and diversity considerations, which will lead to more of the "best and brightest" going elsewhere.

    • @hopegold883
      @hopegold883 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      As Ahsante said, a degree from any Ivy League, especially Harvard, puts you ahead of all the other candidates applying for a job.

    • @brachiator1
      @brachiator1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      England has Oxford and Cambridge. Other countries have their own elite institutions. In California even some state UC schools have better reputations.

    • @helloandgoodbye605
      @helloandgoodbye605 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@ron88303 Oh so test scores now come secondary to race? Maybe that's likened to getting accepted through family lines. Perhaps neither really are deserving. I would love to see the statistics on the two. Especially with the narrative that people of color only are accepted to fill a quota. But everyone else is accepted on merit alone. 👽

    • @ron88303
      @ron88303 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@helloandgoodbye605 I agree with your family-line comment, and the statistics would be interesting. Maybe it's the case of two wrongs making a right. But people of color are also rejected to (presumably) fill a quota; some asian groups come to mind. I don't doubt that most of those admitted to Ivy League schools are highly intelligent, and the bar is probably high enough to allow for some tinkering without diluting the product.

  • @gepdproductions
    @gepdproductions 2 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    I didn’t go to Harvard, (I went to Cornell feel free to roast me lol), and I couldn’t agree more. I can’t speak on what it what was like to be a POC (Im a white dude) but even I felt incredibly out of place as someone who went to public school in the midwest. The best moment in my 4 years ended up being the second semester of my junior year when I had a severe medical emergency that let me take a break for a semester. All in all you are not alone. These institutions are really tough and I am not sure Id ever recommend them to anyone else.

  • @tapjar85
    @tapjar85 2 ปีที่แล้ว +102

    I really appreciate you. I went to a predominately white and affluent grad school and I am a minority woman from a middle class family and...I found myself very much experiencing these things. I can't image how one would cope in their undergrad. But thankfully I found other women like myself who connected with each other. It was absolutely wonderful.

  • @Jasmine-gv3uj
    @Jasmine-gv3uj 2 ปีที่แล้ว +421

    Yale is the same way. I'm FINALLY about to graduate in December, and I'm also a woc (half Black). Finals clubs are called secret societies at Yale... it's the same toxic system. There is an epidemic of student suicides and alarming rates of severe depression/anxiety at these universities. So many students show signs of CPTSD symptoms as well: nervous system dysregulation, hyperarousal, etc. It's truly egregious that students enter these well-resourced universities and are met with cutthroat elitism as opposed to the range of opportunities that theoretically should be available for all students (given the fact that these universities are so well-resourced)... it speaks to the university as an apparatus that prepares students for corporate burnout and a somatic internalization of capitalism. I would go so far as to call it brainwashing. It's truly my personal dark place and I'm so grateful I'm almost done.

    • @nipunsharma5351
      @nipunsharma5351 2 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      This is so very well written. I envy your style of expression. I’m a literature student and I have an aversion towards prolixity. I have realised that many people, particularly those in my circle, write primarily to either flex and/or confuse. So, if I come across any write-up which is clear, concise and is really effective in communicating the thoughts of the author, I immediately become a fan.

    • @mi3helle707
      @mi3helle707 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nipunsharma5351 💯

    • @donttagmeinyourreply1304
      @donttagmeinyourreply1304 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      @Mekehl jealousy is showing. this person obviously had the intelligence. just this post alone shows their intellectual in writing

    • @derek96720
      @derek96720 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Ivy Leagues are corporations that exist to preserve their reputation and the exclusivity of their admittance. Low supply, high demand = massive profit.

    • @tiredoftheworld4834
      @tiredoftheworld4834 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Mekehl degradation of people is absolutely pathetic. What do you know?

  • @aalegalfocus
    @aalegalfocus 2 ปีที่แล้ว +387

    This is so interesting to hear. A friend of mine didn't like the atmosphere so she transferred to MIT. Another friend who went to Harvard got depressed & became hyper religious, & never got a solid career going. Still others continued their streaks of success after Harvard. Congratulations on all your accomplishments!

    • @aiva729
      @aiva729 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Does MIT have a different atmosphere though? I mean it's still an ivy league

    • @snowcherryleopard
      @snowcherryleopard 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@aiva729 MIT is not an Ivy League

    • @xxoffsightxx3962
      @xxoffsightxx3962 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      @@aiva729 No it’s not. Ivy league schools are harvard, princeton, yale, dartmouth, upenn, columbia, cornell, and brown.

    • @lebumjames1373
      @lebumjames1373 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      @@aiva729 It’s not an Ivy, but it is the #1 ranked uni so elitism and a hyper competitive atmosphere is most likely still prevalent.

    • @akllls617
      @akllls617 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      What do you considered hyper religious. ?

  • @matyashansel438
    @matyashansel438 2 ปีที่แล้ว +172

    Being a student of a top Dutch university, I must say how incredibly thankful I am for the emphasis on mental health here, plus the very inclusive environment of various so-called 'committees' of the student associations. There are also fraternities and sororities here but are thought to be exclusive, so I just let them enjoy themselves.

  • @parmavioIets
    @parmavioIets 2 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    I'm honestly so glad this popped up on my recommendation page - I'm not at Harvard, but as a first year chemistry student at Oxford University I can relate to a lot of what you described. When I first got here I felt disillusioned by the fact that I didn't feel like I was "living the dream" despite being at such a prestigious world-renowned uni. I had so many panic attacks and barely even socialised because I spent all my time studying.

  • @janetttyminski7295
    @janetttyminski7295 2 ปีที่แล้ว +587

    My genius father got his Masters from Harvard in math or physics. Never was clear to me which one. I grew up being super impressed & bragged about how smart MY DAD was. Eventually I figured out that the man had poor people skills & very little common sense. He was an electrical engineer, who couldn’t replace an outlet. Flames🔥shot out of the wall when he tried. My loving mother saved him from a life of desperate loneliness.

    • @jessephiri7834
      @jessephiri7834 2 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      Electrical engineering is not easy anywhere...the mathematics and physics is not to be fooled with or joked about.
      You said he had no common sense
      The only bad things about most engineering studies I believe is we just read the book pass and live following the rules and laws we learned at college or university without thinking outside the books like mathematician and physicist
      Some don't even know how to use their hands like your father
      Am sure he could have been good as a mathematician or physicist

    • @pensiveintrovert4318
      @pensiveintrovert4318 2 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Ungrateful.

    • @blackdynamitebigsexy
      @blackdynamitebigsexy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Very well stated my dear

    • @shanesubanstudio3483
      @shanesubanstudio3483 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Yikes

    • @jasonparkinson7621
      @jasonparkinson7621 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      This is comedic.☺

  • @rpark31
    @rpark31 2 ปีที่แล้ว +479

    Ahsante, I appreciate your honesty. I am Harvard Class of 1993 - Leverett House. One of my earliest memories of the competitive environment was when I was applying to join a freshman seminar. There were a few slots open and someone was a war refugee, another was an award-winning writer... needless to say, I did not get in. The recruiting environment was ridiculous too - so many ultra-skilled, qualified Harvard seniors applying for too few job opportunities. You talk about the loneliness and impact on one's self worth: so many Harvard students face those same daily battles but the College doesn't do much to help. It's sink or swim. I encourage you to retain the positive experiences and let go of the negative ones. In the years to come, you may face different struggles when your former classmates are successful businesspeople, authors, politicians, etc. and you may feel like you don't measure up. Don't give in to comparison but instead value your relationships with loved ones, your community, and your workplace.

    • @bodyofhope
      @bodyofhope 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I hate hearing that a war refugee had to exploit their trauma for better education 😬

    • @good-tn9sr
      @good-tn9sr 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      @@bodyofhope it’s not better education. It just gives you more connections than other people.

    • @ii954
      @ii954 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I’m sorry but I just had to reflect on this part “I was applying to join a freshman seminar…” the hyper exclusivity of it all. There’s no reason that all that social pressure is doing anything to help students.

    • @hmoovphemtsaab2240
      @hmoovphemtsaab2240 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@bodyofhope I'd rather give a war torn refugee opportunity than a spoon fed brats

    • @ak203
      @ak203 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@good-tn9sr based on...? A lot of bitter, jealous people out here

  • @a.c.willia7011
    @a.c.willia7011 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Great video and very accurate. I spent 16 years working there and I can tell you the toxic environment isn't limited to just the students. They care far more about their reputation than they ever will about their students or employees.

  • @sophiafeist6211
    @sophiafeist6211 2 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    I'm dismayed to hear how hostile the environment at Harvard is. I went to Princeton from a public high school and was amazed to find that the students (in most majors) weren't in hostile competition with one another at all; while there were some application-based classes or clubs, I felt that every effort was made to encourage experimentation and allow students to try new things. For me, life after college has felt much more irrationally exclusive, competitive, and antagonistic than college ever did.

  • @TheKiman2
    @TheKiman2 2 ปีที่แล้ว +456

    I just felt sad the whole time I was listening to you talk about your experiences at Harvard. So glad you could take a step back now, see what was going on, talk about it, and heal from such a toxic environment. Ain't nobody got time for that!

    • @sarahworks1
      @sarahworks1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      yeah, i felt sad too, this is what we are putting our top students through? i felt sad for her and other students but also thought what a waste. In a world where what we need more than anything is to learn how to work together we are teaching our brightest, most gifted and most driven young adults the inverse.

  • @susanfudge1737
    @susanfudge1737 2 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    The people I know who went to Yale, Harvard, and Princeton were not top of their classes. They had money. People with money get to go.

    • @suzannfulbright5652
      @suzannfulbright5652 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      And have jobs ready for them when they graduate. Meanwhile you middle-class will get stuck with six-figures of debt and no job.

    • @NightinGal89
      @NightinGal89 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I think she said they give scholarships as well. But people with money can probably buy their way in

    • @kwamebushman606
      @kwamebushman606 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      THAT'S what she's doesn't get mate. These places are built for rich people not ordinary folk like us

    • @adangamez3608
      @adangamez3608 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wrong, even with low-income, you can still get scholarships and credits to give you a boost ahead on finical fees. If you go to community college, you can earn a good amount of credits plus a scholarship, meaning that a good chunk of your debt will be paid off.

    • @kwamebushman606
      @kwamebushman606 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@adangamez3608 while you need a scholarship to pay for things, those kids there had trust funds set up in their names the very day they were legally given a name. It's a place for rich people to go and be petty about stuff

  • @scottjackson163
    @scottjackson163 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    I earned a master’s degree from Stanford. They treat graduate students with a lot of respect there. At least, that was so in 1980-81. If you wanted - depending on the instructor - you could write a research paper to satisfy 100% of your grade for a class. I was certainly aware of the rarified air (social and academic) that characterized the university, but I didn’t know anything about cliques or clubs or being excluded from anything. I felt honored to be there and left with no regrets.

  • @bm1006
    @bm1006 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    So happy you made this video.
    In HS I was obsessed with getting into an Ivy League, but now I am so happy I never was accepted. It sounds so disconnected from the real world and really snobbish.

  • @theorderofthebees7308
    @theorderofthebees7308 2 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    “ Doing your best and facing constant rejection “
    You just described the life of an actress

    • @cattycorner8
      @cattycorner8 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Not for the faint of heart!

    • @IAmJaguarPaw.ThisIsMyForest.
      @IAmJaguarPaw.ThisIsMyForest. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      This is the life of everyone.
      This is life.

    • @DefSquadFan
      @DefSquadFan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@IAmJaguarPaw.ThisIsMyForest. Most people don't do their best.

    • @vickiegveg
      @vickiegveg 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Boo hoo

    • @kinkeliba
      @kinkeliba 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      😂😂

  • @stevenizakov3711
    @stevenizakov3711 2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    I now understand the toxicity of elitism. In the end, everything is subjective-and it takes connections to get ahead, not merit

  • @anajaneva97
    @anajaneva97 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I went to the European equivalent of Harvard and this sent chills down my spine because I could relate so much

    • @ginelliaamira6953
      @ginelliaamira6953 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Soborne? Royal Swiss Uni? Swiss polytechnic institute? Can you please share, I am curious

  • @christopherfleming7505
    @christopherfleming7505 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    It's sad to hear that Harvard has such an exclusive mentality. I understand that a top university has to have extraordinarily high standards; if you can't manage the academic demands, perhaps you shouldn't be there. But mental health and well-being are SO important. I studied at Oxford University, and some of the things you mention sound familiar. I remember hearing, during my first year, that a girl had committed suicide after stressing over exams. And what you said about the reading lists for assignments really hit home. There was NO WAY I was ever able to do more than scratch the surface of any reading list, and I always thought I wasn't doing enough, that I was somehow faking it. There never seemed to be enough hours in the day to do all the work you had to do, yet somehow you survived from one week to the next. There was never a day you thought: "Good, I feel on top of things now."
    On the social side, over there people were quite welcoming in clubs and extracurricular activities. There was no selection process to get into social clubs. Even sports teams were accessible to everyone. I signed up for the rowing team of my college, and had a lot of fun. Naturally sports were competitive, so if you wanted to get into a top team, or row for the "first eight" of your college, you had to be seriously good. What I mean is that you could take it as seriously as you liked.
    I remember realising in the first week EXACTLY what you describe; everyone was as intelligent as me (or more than me), everyone had over-achieved at school, everyone had got straight A's in A-levels (that's the British system). It felt quite intimidating, but it didn't take me long to find some really kind people who I could fit in with.
    Overall, my experience of Oxford was probably more positive than yours at Harvard. I certainly think it was worth it, although in my case I don't think having an Oxford degree has really opened that many doors. Like you say, it's hard to know to what extent this has had an effect on others. What I took away from my time at Oxford: 1) learning how to research a topic, and how to THINK 2) meeting loads of really interesting, clever people 3) learning how to organise your time to achieve to greatest results in the time available.
    I hope this may be interesting or of use to some people out there. God bless!

  • @erald.c5588
    @erald.c5588 2 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    As someone who has friends from both Ivy's and outside, Ivy's are never really your best friends because that would make them vulnerable which is absolutely ridiculous and shows how elitist and lonely these people are in reality. It is sad.

  • @patrickrumbu2902
    @patrickrumbu2902 2 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    At the end, being genuinely happy in life is all that matters

    • @Dee-mw9tk
      @Dee-mw9tk 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      YuP!!! Sooooo TRUE....

    • @markislivingdeliberately
      @markislivingdeliberately 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Agreed. This is why it’s kinda ridiculous to criticize Harvard for being Harvard. The entire idea is it’s the best of the best and for the elite of the elite. To go there and expect a fun San Diego state type vibe is kinda silly. Instead of the institution changing for your preferences, maybe don’t go there? It’s like going to math camp and being mad they want you to be good at math.

    • @patrickrumbu2902
      @patrickrumbu2902 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@markislivingdeliberately I agree with you on those. I don't mean to downplay their worries but as someone who isnt there...a lot dream to be there.
      I guess you deal with it and be gracious with the opportunities such an ivy league school affords. Guess it's expensive pains - one I can't relate with

  • @djmgoblue
    @djmgoblue ปีที่แล้ว +32

    I did a semester at Harvard, taking a class at the HKSG, while pursuing my degree at BU. You are spot on about the culture and competitiveness. Malcom Gladwell said it best in his book, David and Goliath," better to be the big fish in a little pond."

  • @TrillEverything
    @TrillEverything ปีที่แล้ว +35

    I went to grad school at Harvard, which is much different from undergrad concerning cliques and clubs. I'm a black male and loved my Crimson experience. I had zero complaints outside of the ridiculous amounts of reading given each night. I didn't want to read or write anything after graduating. lol The worst experience about Harvard is how people treat you after graduating. It's all bad! lol. Most people can wear their college gear and feel proud. But for some reason, when you wear Harvard gear, people will speak on it sometimes in a disparaging way. So my friends who graduated from HBCUs can brag all they want about attending "The Mecca" or "The House". I cannot brag...but I still rock my Crimson gear like everyone else rocks theirs.

  • @kamsyanyachebelu1613
    @kamsyanyachebelu1613 2 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    Went to Cornell. I was a Junior transfer from a Umich and it has been my lifelong dream to attend Cornell/ any of the Ivies. Upon arrival, I had such a terrible experience of burnout that resulted in depression and anxiety and ended up taking a gap year. I realized I was much happier at Umich. Although the culture at Cornell was not as toxic as Harvard, I relate to the experience of working hard you’re entire life to arrive at a place only to find out you must struggle and work even harder. I’ve been healing for the past two years and even though I’m not as financially stable as my peers, I’m so glad I didn’t join the corporate rat race afterwards. Don’t get me started on the financial burden as an international student! Thank you for this video.

    • @Tamar-sz8ox
      @Tamar-sz8ox 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Good on ya 👍 wishing you the best

    • @johnklin9383
      @johnklin9383 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I went to Cornell for engineering, and I had a friend who went to UPenn for undergrad (math major) and Cornell for grad school and he was a TA for engineering math. He could not believe how much work Cornell students had and was so happy he didn't go to Cornell for undergrad (he said it made UPenn a party school). There's a reason why Cornell has a reputation for suicides, though after seeing the anti-suicide "nets" installed by the bridges, wondered what kind of impression that was making to prospective students. Cornell is a tough and stressful place!

    • @JadestonePony
      @JadestonePony 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Burnout is seriously no joke! That can knock you out for years (speaking from experience here). I'm glad to hear you've been recovering and that you found an environment that works better for you.
      I went to Cornell as well and studied Engineering. The workload was horrible. My burnout got so bad that midway through junior year I just couldn't tolerate going to class anymore, and then my physical health went to pieces, so I had to take a leave of absence. At the very least I was blessed with friends and classmates who had more of a "we're in this together" mentality than a "we're competitors" mentality. And I had some very supportive professors too. Perhaps I was lucky since my major was relatively small and close-knit. No one seemed to judge me for repeating classes or graduating later than average. I don't know if I would've managed to graduate if I had to face social judgement on top of the academic stress. But of course my experience could be quite different from others' experiences, since Cornell is quite big, and I don't know how the social dynamics would play out in other pockets of the school.

    • @kaziu312
      @kaziu312 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Dang, I was getting lots of correspondence from Cornell and for a hot minute I thought about moving across the country to Ithaca. In the end, I balked at the then tuition price of $29,000 a year and went to UCLA for fraction of that. I had a lot of fun doing my undergrad. What you experienced just confirms that I made the right decision.

    • @petraramirez-bonna3132
      @petraramirez-bonna3132 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Auntie Kamsy long time no see

  • @UdoADHD
    @UdoADHD 2 ปีที่แล้ว +307

    I will say being in an environment like Harvard WILL prepare you for making it in the corporate world. The corporate world is just like this, but less obvious about it... I personally cannot stomach the feeling and the games. Meaning I have to work for small companies or have a skill that doesn't require talking to people much and more focused on just completing tasks.

    • @Arodnyc72
      @Arodnyc72 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Not true, you are enough no matter where you go in life, so F everyone and be strong

    • @patrickrumbu2902
      @patrickrumbu2902 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      All for what? At the end family and being genuinely happy is all that matters

    • @UdoADHD
      @UdoADHD 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@patrickrumbu2902 for money? So you can live? Lol hard to be happy when you can’t afford rent.

    • @UdoADHD
      @UdoADHD 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@Arodnyc72 you need money, kid lol

    • @patrickrumbu2902
      @patrickrumbu2902 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@UdoADHD I feel you Omen, seen & listened to a lot of great/wealthy peeps..yes money helps esp to cater for those you love but should not be the ultimate.
      I am tempted to say I just want milk in my fridge😚 and a girl of my dreams and am good but yeah I want to be able to provide for my peeps

  • @iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii2458
    @iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii2458 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I was a senior engineer. I noticed that engineers from ivy league universities and engineers from state universities performed at a similar level. Honestly, no one really cares where you graduated from in the real world.

  • @whitestone2469
    @whitestone2469 ปีที่แล้ว +352

    Your videos have helped me reach over $180,000 in trading by age 23! Thanks Ahsante . Keep the videos coming. 👍🏽

    • @andrewblack4432
      @andrewblack4432 ปีที่แล้ว

      Congrats ! i made a lot during covid from my passive income .

    • @favourazah1504
      @favourazah1504 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm convinced that the big investors and analysts are trying to scare us to keep us poor and ignorant to the market.. because its steady doing good after all the jobless and market crash talks

    • @jamesjude4988
      @jamesjude4988 ปีที่แล้ว

      Congrats and wishing you the best .

    • @whitestone2469
      @whitestone2469 ปีที่แล้ว

      @kim sun When I was 20 ,but you need a finance Pro if you don’t want to loose and if you want to be more successful.

    • @whitestone2469
      @whitestone2469 ปีที่แล้ว

      @kim sun Follow⬇️⬇️

  • @lr2ldn
    @lr2ldn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    My grades wouldn't have even gotten my foot in the state of Massachusetts, let alone in Harvard!

  • @reenaesmailcomposer
    @reenaesmailcomposer 2 ปีที่แล้ว +355

    This was exactly my experience at Juilliard many years ago. Thank you so much for talking about this openly. I think even knowing that others are going through the same things has been the most healing thing -- back then, before TH-cam and social media, so many of us were suffering in these exact ways, and thought we were alone. And on the other hand, you're absolutely right: it's impossible to know how many people saw that degree after my name and took me more seriously.

    • @doubledutchclutch
      @doubledutchclutch 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      As I'm sure you're now aware, there's a whole slew of Julliard grads this happened to. Viola Davis among them, I believe. I hear she had to take off time and that she doesn't really like talking about her experience attending the school.

  • @michaelmachung7233
    @michaelmachung7233 2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    When I visited Harvard, I got turned off with their attitude and decided not to apply. So I applied to a smaller college, got accepted, and it worked out well.

  • @user-tv6tu1hp6t
    @user-tv6tu1hp6t 2 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    This was my exact experience in law school. Didn’t go to Harvard but literally everything you described is what I experienced and it was horrible. Afterwards, like you I also spent the following 5-6 years healing and trying to move past it all.

  • @jovandraganescu1406
    @jovandraganescu1406 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    Take it from someone whose been successful in corporate America as a minority. You do not need to go to an elite school!!

  • @lolo_bird
    @lolo_bird 2 ปีที่แล้ว +185

    As a European, we often find Americans grating because they're so competitive and obsessed with proving how many achievements they have and how amazing they are. Now I see where it comes from

    • @robertchandler2124
      @robertchandler2124 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Yes, it came from White capitalistic culture that has bled into humanity.

    • @susiebear3316
      @susiebear3316 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      What an arrogant, ignorant, narrow minded generalization... you have not met every American. I understand that it is expedient to bash all things American. However, your statement is extremely low vibrational and atypical of the group think.

    • @punkgrl325
      @punkgrl325 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      @@susiebear3316 Well, they did say "often", not all Americans. Idk, I agree with them. I certainly think there's something to be said for the toxicly competitive culture of the US. It's a very 'eff you, I got mine" mentality that you seem to be pushed to accept from when you're young.

    • @francoislechanceux5818
      @francoislechanceux5818 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@punkgrl325 You guys are comics. Try Japan, South-Korea or China or even India for competitiveness. We have laziness built inside our minds now in Europe and we whine and wonder why all innovations now come from the US.

    • @helenlauer9545
      @helenlauer9545 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      exactly. This narrative tells more about Ahsante's head space than it does the elitist environment itself. The same conditions could teach someone else more self-confidence and self-worth independent of outward recognition. The loneliness can be a killer, though, not doubt about it.

  • @hoolie867
    @hoolie867 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    This sounds highly toxic, so sorry you had to go through this! Thanks for sharing.

  • @audhdcreativity5899
    @audhdcreativity5899 2 ปีที่แล้ว +157

    Trigger warning- suicide
    Thank you for sharing and caring about mental health....my brother was a sessional teacher @ Harvard while he finished his PHD. He found it infuriating not to be judged on merit.
    He became a scholar and taught in his field at an international university and was an expert among experts in a new field- a groundbreaker.
    The competitiveness never stopped. He chose to end his life after too many rejections based on who you know. He worked harder than most and was not included.

  • @a.d.b535
    @a.d.b535 2 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    I ran into a lot of that at Drake University. The first question meeting others was, "So ... what does your dad do for a living?" Pretty heavy for a bare footed gal from the Florida beaches.

  • @suleimanabdullahi4646
    @suleimanabdullahi4646 2 ปีที่แล้ว +160

    Harvard sounds like a nightmare, i wonder if its like that at other ivy league schools

    • @joanie3001
      @joanie3001 2 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      I graduated from another Ivy and have friends at other Ivies. Pretty much the same experience across the board.

    • @vickiegveg
      @vickiegveg 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me thinks you'll never know.

    • @creativefruittree3480
      @creativefruittree3480 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      come to an african university

    • @vickiegveg
      @vickiegveg 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@creativefruittree3480 How many can you take ?

    • @chertfoot1500
      @chertfoot1500 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I had a great time at Harvard. I think most of my roomates did also. The Bio classes were amazing.

  • @more_than_the_verb_to_be
    @more_than_the_verb_to_be ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The look on your face and sound of your voice says it all. Thanks for sharing.

  • @shaheenbeeharry9710
    @shaheenbeeharry9710 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Just listening to this is raising my stress levels. The best learning communities, in my humble opinion, are ones that encourage the exploration of interests in low-stakes, fail forward, environments, and the formation of authentic relationships. This is particularly true when you think about what it is we actually need as human beings, that is to say, health, belonging and freedom; everything else is mostly nice-to-have.

  • @swicheroo1
    @swicheroo1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +297

    I got accepted to all the Ivy Leagues. I went to UCLA--to be closer to home. I'm a refugee kid who had family obligations. I went to UCLA. It was awesome. Education in the USA is very forgiving. I'm older now--middle age--and mostly suggest to young people, especially in this time of uncertainty where distance learning is the norm, that they just do two years at a community college. Truth be told: I actually thought community college was where I was headed. I didn't have any grandiose expectations. I literally had no idea what the SAT was. My big ambition was to either be a cashier at the Supermarket or a piano player at Nordstrom. I'm mostly happy that I have zero student debt. So this is why I have never had to make many money-driven decisions.

    • @bernadettedevereaux8694
      @bernadettedevereaux8694 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      My most productive education was in grammar school. I went to a tiny Catholic school in the 1960s. I learned how to read, how to have legible handwriting and how to reason. I remember taking aptitude tests and hating them. I was always placed in the college track curriculum despite having no idea what that meant other than I was steered away from learning how to cook, sew and type. I graduated from university with a Liberal Arts degree from Wayne State University. All my employers were interested in is that I graduated, none of them even asked for a transcript. I’m retired now. I’m overjoyed to be out of the unending competition of the workplace.

    • @carolynngockel3670
      @carolynngockel3670 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Statistically speaking, you probably didn't lose out much money wise. There is a lot of data that says people who are accepted, but do not go to Ivy League schools, do just as well as people who do accept.

    • @bobjacobson858
      @bobjacobson858 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@carolynngockel3670 That probably means that acceptance itself is essentially a credential (or a "certification of academic ability"), because it is the result of a competitive screening process. I received my undergraduate degree from Cornell, and my graduate from the Univ. of Georgia. As far as classes go, I would say that at Cornell, 40% were excellent, 40% were mediocre and 20% were poor. At UGA, 20%were excellent, 40% were mediocre, and 40% were poor--however, there was an issue going on with my department at UGA in which many of the faculty were committed to research but rather apathetic to teaching. An independent committee came in and verified this problem--hopedly, new blood in the faculty has alleviated this problem.
      I've always been surprised when I read that many high school students don't know things that I knew when I was in, let's say, 6th grade. However, I've concluded that there are great differences among students, and I was one whose college-educated parents valued education, and I was "nerdy" enough to take it to a greater extent such that when I was in 6th grade apparently some test concluded I was capable of 9th grade work. I guess the bottom line is that high school students vary tremendously, and I've become convinced that even an relatively "unknown" university can provide an excellent education if the student is motivated to make the most of it. However, I'm fortunate enough to have graduated high school 51 years ago, back in the days when students were expect to behave properly in class and all the teachers were sincerely interested in teaching.

    • @kimberlywilliams9749
      @kimberlywilliams9749 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I definitely agree with the community college statement. They say only 38% of people that go to college, actually graduate. There’s no need to create the debt if statistically you may not graduate. Test yourself in a community college. If you make it then transfer if the degree you want and can actually get employed in, requires a 4 year degree.

    • @carolynngockel3670
      @carolynngockel3670 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@bobjacobson858 "That probably means that acceptance itself is essentially a credential (or a "certification of academic ability")"
      Agreed.

  • @Brilindhart
    @Brilindhart 3 ปีที่แล้ว +266

    Thank you for sharing this! I know there are some benefits, and as you said it was worth it for you, but I never understood the obsession with going to an Ivy League School unless it was for the credentials. It seemed like a breeding ground for mental health issues and loneliness to an extreme degree. It’s definitely for some people, but not for everyone, and I wish this was talked about more. As someone who went to community college and lives at home for university, definitely do whats best for you. Some of my friends who thought I was crazy for living at home are telling me they wish they stayed home, while others are super grateful they went to university. No one path is right for everyone.

    • @AhsanteB
      @AhsanteB  3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Absolutely agree - you've got to do what's best for you! There's no universal best solution for where to get your education or how to start off your professional career.

    • @mahlatji_modiba
      @mahlatji_modiba 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      As international students who want to go to graduate school in the states you kinda want to go an ivy so you can have a more secure place in grad school and also so all the hard work was worth it

    • @jamesbedukodjograham5508
      @jamesbedukodjograham5508 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Harvard College is really expensive but has been overated,
      I applied back in 2002 and yet it is quite tough to appreciate the College.
      At 5 Percent the Admissions rate Is one of the lowest for entry in the world.
      Why should such a school accept 69.000 Applicants per year.
      God help the African students especially the Ghanaian and the Congolese students.

    • @jamesbedukodjograham5508
      @jamesbedukodjograham5508 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@noorykorky5056 Correct on all points.

    • @FableCountry
      @FableCountry 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@jamesbedukodjograham5508 If you make less than $80k/annually, you're on financial aid. If you make more than that, you pay 10% of tuition.
      Believe it or not, 70% of students are on financial aid. It's expensive, yes, but you're likely not paying much. 20% of students and their families, dont pay anything.
      I will say Harvard is mentally expensive, lol. It cost me a lot of my mental and emotional health.
      Financially, I did do some psychological studies for extra money tho, lol

  • @heidi3431
    @heidi3431 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I’m sorry you had this experience. Your family sounds great! That’s invaluable.
    Thank you for sharing.

  • @gavinhigh1043
    @gavinhigh1043 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    the way you speak is so engaging. You have SUCH a way with words!!!

  • @domspeakslife
    @domspeakslife 2 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    Thank you for being honest and sharing your experience!!! Oddly enough, I felt this way about going to Spelman College (often known as the “black” Ivy League). Similar to you, now that I’ve graduated I am grateful to have Spelman on my resume and I do see how the alumnae connection is very strong. However, my experience during undergrad was extremely toxic.

    • @ashafrench8011
      @ashafrench8011 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Dominique, I was watching this thinking that it sounded like Howard. Lol

    • @vickiegveg
      @vickiegveg 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Someone had to go there.

    • @vanessavazquez5167
      @vanessavazquez5167 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Yeah i currently attend Spelman and i honestly don’t get why it’s ranked #1, albeit I’m not a stem major. I’m also a transfer student so the transition ruined my experience for me. If i wasn’t in my senior year i probably would have transferred

  • @marcusalexander7088
    @marcusalexander7088 2 ปีที่แล้ว +324

    I was recruited to several Ivy Leagues, including Harvard and Yale. Never like the energy or atmosphere on pre-enrollment visits, so went to and graduated from a more normal uni. Sure, I probably give up millions in potential earnings(no kidding), but quality of my uni experience was more important.

    • @juancena840
      @juancena840 2 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Yeah bro i say you should follow what makes you happy instead of stressful

    • @marcusalexander7088
      @marcusalexander7088 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      @@juancena840 Exactly right you are, bro. Peace and Blessings.

    • @sadbanana7272
      @sadbanana7272 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You didn’t

    • @JohnSmith-ws1dp
      @JohnSmith-ws1dp 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Zoomer

    • @nica7747
      @nica7747 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Where did u end up going?

  • @tawandamajongwe4883
    @tawandamajongwe4883 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I like how composed you are,thanks for the info

  • @shayxp
    @shayxp 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you for this video. I relate on so many levels.
    I didn’t go to Harvard but had the same (bad) experience in a prestigious/ultra competitive university.
    Rose and thorn kind of situation? I’m happy that you made the best out of it!

  • @donaldahern9930
    @donaldahern9930 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Going to an ivy league college; It's about who you know or meet and not so much what you learn.After you leave; connections...Ahshante enlightens all of us.Thank You.

  • @troymcintosh2564
    @troymcintosh2564 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Listening to 10 minutes of your vid, I'm exhausted. Very glad I was rejected at Harvard. My undergrad experience was tough but much more inclusive. This is craziness.

  • @sean911b
    @sean911b 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    beautiful video, well done for making it in such a challenging environment!

  • @amandasoares1798
    @amandasoares1798 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I know what you mean. I got my MBA at a top school and very much felt that competition between my peers. It’s so dysfunctional. We need to be making friendships, not competing with each other. These top schools are leaving a very toxic mark on the world. It’s not OK.

  • @jarnoldp
    @jarnoldp 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    None of this surprised me. I have been around IV League professors repeatedly. They should be federally, nationally investigated for such an environment because they are pretty much creating a suicidal environment.

  • @mayagriffin2826
    @mayagriffin2826 2 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    Having to recover from college is such a real thing

    • @soulwailer3394
      @soulwailer3394 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      How sad though...

    • @josepedroza3400
      @josepedroza3400 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That is unfortunate, I loved my college experience. Wasn't easy, I had to mature and become a better student. But I didn't feel like I needed time-off or therapy. I continued on to grad school. If the school damages you as a person how did they prepare your next step in life?

  • @steffaely
    @steffaely 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Thank you for sharing your experience! I attended an Ivy League university as well. I was a foreign student and my experience was the same! I had to recover mentally after college. I developed OCD. Of course the name of the school opened doors for me but I definitely payed a high price for that. I also felt so smart going in but ALL the students were smart. I would probably do it again but this time and I would take care of my mental health a LOT more.