I am from Gaza. I can't afford therapy. Your videos are helping me to cope with the difficulties I face in Gaza. Thank you for helping the underdogs, Emma!
@The Rockall Times Your anger at these deaths are justified, but attacking a random citizen of that country is not. We are not in full control of our own government. I'm sure you wouldn't like to be blamed for what your officials do that you disagree with yourself. You know nothing about his opinion or involvement with this issue.
@The Rockall Times Gaza is the largest open air prison in the world. Israel should stop their illegal occupation of Palestinan territories and its war crimes against a civilian population. An apartheid state with one of the strongest militaries in the world has the gall to complain about "rockets." Palestinians have a right to defend themselves whether you consider them human or not. This is not an "equal" conflict and the deaths are always overwhelmingly Palestinian, and mostly children and youth.
@The Rockall Times may be they wouldn't have done that if Israel wasn't illegally evicting Palestinians out of their homes and throwing grenades at people while they are praying in Al Aqsa Mosque the biggest holly site in Islam during the holiest month Ramadan. You are disgusting for supporting ethnic cleansing and genocide of the indigenous Palestinian people you should be ashamed of uttering such ignorance go and education yourself about the situation in Gaza and Israel and Palestine conflict before you open your filthy mouth again.
I think it's brene brown who said: What would happen if I tell you that everyone is doing their very best? Your annoying coworker, your addicted neighbor, the guy who takes 20 minutes to order donuts. What would change if you'd assume they are doing their utmost? And do you have that assumption in your daily life? And then her husband said: I don't know if that's true or not, but my life is better if I do believe everyone's doing their very best. (of course she said it much more elegantly)
R.A. Masters in "Spiritual Bypassing" refers to 'everyone is doing the best they can' as facile (not appreciating the complexity of the matter). It's a way of letting everyone including oneself off the hook. Everyone doing the best they can (if true) does not absolve people of responsibility; but my belief that people are doing the best they can may inhibit me from requiring people to be responsible, and this would be naive and to my detriment. (my paraphrase)
@@user-uj8ls4jc6g I agree, I was just saying that the other day. Are people really doing the best they can (am I) or is itjust a way to excuse irresponsible and lazy people?? My problem is being compassionate with those who are shirking responsibility, those parents who never come to turms with the abuse they inflicted on their children. Is it a non truth that makes us feel better?
@@deborah3912 here's the quote of R.A. Masters... "Blind compassion is rooted in the belief that we are all doing the best that we can. When we are driven by blind compassion, we cut everyone far too much slack, making excuses for others' behaviour and making nice in situations that require a foreceful 'no,' an unmistakable voice of displeasure, or a firm setting and maintaining of boundaries. These things can, and often should, be done out of love, but blind compassion keeps love too meek, sentenced to wearing a kind face. This is not the kindness of the Dalai Lama, which is rooted in courage, but rather a kindness rooted in fear, and not just the fear of confrontation, but also the fear of not coming across as a good or spiritual person." Masters continues. If people need to believe fiction to feel better I let them, until the point they are standing on my toes trying to cram it down my throat then it's on. People say the truth hurts but not half as much as BS hurts.
Just some thoughts on this comment section: I think compassion, having an understanding for what someone is going through or why they are the way they are does *not* equal letting them do what they want. In my humble opinion you can assume that everyone is doing their best and therefore take things less personal and YET call people out if they make a mistake, if they hurt you or others, etc.. I can understand why my mother is the way she is and yet draw my boundaries and not let her say or do what she wants with me. Understanding and having compassion with others and oneself does not have to equal lacking responsibility. It’s even easier for me to change myself for the better if I’m compassionate with myself because it gets me out of overwhelm and makes taking actions to better myself and my life that much easier. Also I used to struggle with thinking am I really doing my best? Because doing the best can vary greatly from day to day and I can be very rigid with myself. Expecting that if I was able to work efficiently for 8 hours that one day, that it will have to be the same for all the following days, that it will be the new standard and anything less will be a disappointment. But we’re all going through cycles and there are so many factors playing into this such as the amount of sleep, stress, women’s cycle, the kind of food and water, colds and flus, etc. as to why one day looks different than the other. Now to end this long ass text, generally said there are probably types of people that need to take more responsibility for their actions and the other type that is so harsh with themselves blaming themselves for everything and therefore going into overwhelm and procrastination. The latter type really benefits from being more compassionate with themselves. This will actually help taking charge of their life and being more responsible. This is a lot easier to do when in the parasympathetic part of the nervous system. If anyone read this whole text, thanks!! I’m open to other viewpoints! As long as I’m alive I’ll keep on learning what it means to live
As an example of neuroplasticity.... I had a traumatic brain injury six years back.Among the myriad of challenges I faced, one of the most basic was that I needed to learn to retrain my self to walk. I used hiking poles to walk everywhere for the first few months as per my neuropsychologist. The left pole with the right foot, heel first then round to the ball of the foot. Right pole with left foot, heel first then round to the ball of the foot. At first I couldn't walk more than a few feet, but practice along with other balance exercises and eye tracking exercises and within two years I could walk several blocks. Now I can walk longer distances without poles. I'm up to three miles with poles and a mile without. I do 'refresher courses' for a month at a time to keep my training permanent because my memory systems were damaged. IT WORKS!!!
Fun fact: this morning I was pretty anxious; my mind told me I’ll never be free from (problematic) anxiety; felt weak, stomach sickness, depressed. Took a short walk in the neighborhood while paying attention to that stupid thought. Realized that Hey if I have this thought, does this means I’ll never be free from this state? How much power this thought have? Answer is 0. In the next few seconds, felt really great, energized, free and happy. Realized I can and I am actually free even if some sort of anxiety is there. So, always pay attention to your thoughts. Don’t ignore them, listen and check for the truth. You actually can’t detach from these negative thoughts (as other approaches tells us to just ignore them) if u don’t dispute them and check their validity . Your brain will always bring u these if not resolved.
Neuroplasticity really is a fascinating concept and proof that you have the power within to take control back in your life! It’s not easy but it sure is worth it ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for your contribution to the field of therapy! I am a therapist. I prescribe your videos as homework😊 You have an incredible way of distilling complicated brain science into easily digestible information that anyone can use to better their lives. Thank you again for your hard work and dedication to helping humans live their best lives❤️
thanks so much Laura, when I started making these videos that's what I had in mind, that they would work as a supplement to therapy. And some days it goes awesome, and some days it's very stressful to attract so much attention (good and bad) so it's nice for me to hear how it's helping others
You are helping beyond words! My clients come back to let me know that our lessons/teachings in session make so much sense once they go home and also watch your videos. Most skip ahead a bit and watch more videos😊 Please know your reach is far and wide and very appreciated - especially by this therapist👍 Unfortunately, putting your work out there on TH-cam will certainly bring some less than positive attention - thank you for persevering through the negativity to bring such positivity and support to people who are suffering.
@@laurabeaudry3905 - I love that you give your clients homework! That’s where the best progress comes: when you think, practice, or work on your issue(s) outside of the “learning” environment! Especially as an adult diagnosed late in life w ADHD, the “learning” and “doing” aren’t always especially well connected. Half the time I just go to my therapist to act as a reminder/excuse/accountability buddy/reality check for thinking things out on my own. I also think “homework” puts the emphasis back where it needs to be: the patient and/or relationship (couples) need to have ownership of the process (once any emergencies or difficult to understand or accept issues are explained & accepted sufficiently with expert help.)
Neuroplasticity is so interesting to me! I’m feeling really anxious and although I’ve come a long way, the feeling of anxiety and how much I feel unsafe and in danger always seems to trip me up. Teaching myself I’m safe and I’ll get through this takes a lot of self convincing
@sheepa I can’t begin to explain how much guided meditation has helped me with my anxiety that feels like the size of a planet, guided meditation is a form neurplasticity . Everyday or anytime I can get a moment to do it I listen to my favorite guided meditation that has helped me you can listen to it here: th-cam.com/video/MIr3RsUWrdo/w-d-xo.html Be patient with it. I can almost promise you that it will work on the 1st or 3rd day of listening.
Thank you thank you! My budget doesn't allow me to have therapy ar the moment. You ARE my therapy and I feel that you are my therapist until I can once again afford it. Your videos are extremely helpful and I wish you great success!
I’m suffering from crippling anxiety and panic. I have weekly therapy but find Emma’s videos so helpful. It’s very hard to change the way I think but I am trying. Thank you Emma for making these videos available to all and free.
I am half way through. With my notebook and a desire to be better . I am passing these to my 16 yrs old daughter because she has panic attacks in school and sometimes at home in the night. I really appreciate this free help. I am living in one income, 6 ppl, newly immigrated to a new country , studying to be able to get a job. THANK YOU. It was the best and most clear and well structured piece of advise online I could find. 💌❤
You are helping me so much.. I’m a 27 years old man from Turkey who hasn’t been able to form good social relations, has never actually accomplished anything and is now afraid to move on in life..
I suffer from Bipolar and BPD and have recently found the hope that comes with being knowledgeable in areas such as how the nervous system effects our brains, and if I hadn’t stumbled across you or your videos I would have no idea about any of it. You are lighting up so many parts of this world one light, authentic, and educational talk at a time. Seriously, I’m just so unbelievably grateful for you and your incredible heart and brain. I hope that when you find time to stop and tap into the bright wonderful feelings in the world around us that you can see and be proud that you are such a massive part of it. ❤️
First you must accept that this is true and the therapy will work! My biggest challege is fighting my inner voice saying I'm just messed up and can't be any different. One day at a time I'm climbing out of a cave of wrong thinking.
I am mostly recovered from OCD however it's SO difficult helping others recover because they believe they lack the "willpower". Thank you for your excellent explanation on CBT and ERP with neuroplasticity. I know I have only the same amount of will power as most and I want everyone to feel better. Your videos have been helping me explain wellness for over a year now. THANK YOU!
23 year old, had two serious relationships (4 years, then 1 year). Even though I ended them, there is so much pain and understanding of 'self' that needs to be done. All in the pandemic! Your channel is a blessing in disguise. I hope I heal and get through.
I am a 72 year old retied coal miner and on my own like I was during the year long miners strike after my first divorce Had another divorce since then and now what kept me happy during the strike was that I was day dreaming how I would get all that I want, never did but it kept me happy and I do the same now, just spend my days day dreaming they may never come true but my day dreams keeps me happy.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the effort you put into these videos. All of the genuine goodness in your heart is changing more lives than I’m sure you even realize. I am unbelievably inspired and shocked to find your channel and all of the new information that comes with it. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Seriously. ❤️
I've noticed I conquered my agoraphobia with this method. I would panic anytime anyone else left the house and one day i saw despite my panic everyone else kept coming back ok. So I was panicking over nothing. It's hard to carry over with other things. I always noticed our thoughts ARE our feelings so when talking to a person with Alexithymia or someone who doesn't express emotions much just ask them what they think and they will tell you how they feel because thoughts are tied with our feelings.
Thank you for your videos. I have seen several therapists and none have been able to help. Your videos are helping me so much to process through a very difficult time in my life, and I am so thankful for you.
This video offered a sense of hope and optimism for me. When I think about the stress and anxiety that I often feel, I shudder at the prospect that these experiences are permanently altering my brain in a harmful manor. However, after watching this video and hearing the account of one of your clients, I gained an insight on the true value of neuroplasticity. At the end of the day, your videos have helped me to rethink how I view my mental health challenges.
Thank you for your videos they have really given my family and myself hope. Both my brother and I were molested as children by our babysitter. We've only come to terms with that reality, we're struggling with alcohol abuse and violent outbursts with our parents, but I have hope this will change now, thank you.
Emma,you are Godblessed and in spite of all the positive feedback you have received you really really do not have the foggiest idea how strikingly helpful your advice is in all your videos.Add to that a beautiful lady with a beautiful personality and you'll get the sum of your affectiveness!!!Thank you from the bottom of my heart.Leon Lombard, South Africa.
Emma thank you so much for this video. It means a lot to me. As a financially strained college student, your resources on YT has help me learn how to take care of myself better. So thank you so much for all that you do !
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Very nice examples with the blind men - the tale about the one in the donuts shop in front, and the case about the other one, who learned to ride a bike. So neuroplasticity is the ability of the brain to change - that is get new neuro-pathways, thus being able to learn something new, adapt new habits, or change some behaviors even as an adult.
Wow. So far out of the several of your videos I have watched, this one resinated the most with me. A little back ground. I am 56, retired Army, Explosive Ordnance Disposal. I have a Bachelors in psychology with military resilience cognate. I volunteer at my local Veterans Treatment Court as the Mentor Coordinator. I am having a hard time adapting to civilian life. I can’t understand why peoples ethics suck. Unsafe practices, selfish behavior, and poor work ethics. It really bothers me. I need to rewire but not sure how. I am finding it very hard to do so. I would love to learn more so I can help myself and others.
I've believed for years that if you can work to change your mind you'll feel better. It's not a cure all and not meant to mask or ignore serious issues, but you can help yourself to feel better. I've even found it an effective way to deal with even the common cold. Sadly it makes my wife sooo mad when I suggest she do something to change her mind to help her feel better.
As a therapist I feel the mantra of think differnet, feel differnet is outdated as well can be shaming of clients. The simple fact is the lower structures if the brain, the brainstem and limbic systems will take priority over your neo cortex/thinking parts of the brain. In simple terms state will always come before story. We need to bring compassion to our feelings and sensations which in turn will bring us back to safety.
Hi Jason, I agree with you in some ways, I hope you've seen the previous videos in this series, the first two were on a nonjudgmental attitude toward emotions, the next 4 were on willingness and not resisting emotions, the next 8 were basically on the limbic brain and how emotions are in your body. now after laying that foundation we're moving on to some cognitive work, because how we think does impact how we feel, but it's not the only thing that impacts how we feel. The nervous system response definitely happens faster than we can think. Also there's an upcoming section on self-compassion. Thanks for your comment. Hopefully as a culture and a therapy field we can move forward.
Lord Jesus. Day by day we recall your saving work on the cross. Your love has no boundaries and we are eternally grateful for your loving mercy and healing. You are our wonderful saviour. May the unsaved of this world will come to know you before it’s too late. Amen
I tend to listen to your content on my way to work as part of my daily routine. Keeping healthful tips in mind before what may be a tough day at work has helped me start many many days on a more mindful level.
Great video. Many people believe that change isn't possible, and so of course they don't. Believing in change opens the door. It's all about facing and instead of avoiding.
Your teaching methods are incredible You engage the audience with your anologies Your true to life stories. And your visuals drive home the point. Love your teaching abilities. CBT. Definitely doesn't have the side effects that meds do. And you are growing your mind.
I love your videos. I’ve made notes from each one in this series and put them in a binder. Can you do a video about recovering from abusive marriage that ends in divorce? Especially emotional abuse and gaslighting. Thank you!
Thank you very much, Dr. Emma, for all your work and all your videos. You are so knowledgeable and so understanding. Your delivery is perfect. Perfect. You definitely found your calling. Thank you very much again. I love, "Go ahead, anxiety. Stay as long as you like." When I told myself that, I felt the anxiety inside literally be shocked. I finally shocked it, by turning the tables on it. Don't fight it, just observe it, and it will go. Thanks again. --Jack, 59, Pasadena, CA
Nice video. It's nice to see folks actually explaining brain function and research to get people out of the mysticism of thinking. When people are taught it's a miracle, they can only hope. When they learn it's real, they can see how to change.
Thank you so much for posting these videos!! I found your channel last month and it's helping me out a lot during this stressful time of taking my entrance exam. Words cant express how grateful I'm for stumbling across this gem!! ❤✨
Start today and make a change. One step at a time will make all the difference. Look from a different perspective and change the way you think about things. Neuroplacticity, you are not stuck. You can change for the better.
Very very nice video Madam... Thank You for educating us & thereby tranforming us .... I watched your above video with ABSOLUTE MINDFULNESS.... Imbibed everything out of it completely.... Looking forward to your next video(s)
Thoughts lead you to feelings/emotions which lead to you to overreacting. By realizing that the thoughts are not your own, this awareness will cause you to doubt them. This means they can have no more power over you.
I think it’s awesome you give you clients homework! As an adult-diagnosed ADHD person, I find I have to take more ownership and active thinking or practicing outside therapy sessions to get much out of them. The “learning” and “doing” aren’t as well connected with me (Eg Dr Russell Barkley’s This is how science says you should treat ADHD talk excerpt on TH-cam).
So at my 60th birthday party I left the pictures, the short video clips and what I had written to say that was going to be endearing and funny to the 89 guests of former coworkers, my friends and family I had at my party. I decided just to relax and enjoy the party and let others talk instead. Consequently, I did not introduce my seven year old daughter, stepdaughter and wife. Many knew that I had finally married late in life and we had a child. So many regrets now of things I did not do. I would like to use neural plasticity to let my brain remember that I made a decision based on I what I felt at the time. And be happy on how everything unfolded.
Don't regret the past, enjoy your present. You are so lucky that you found your second half, and have a child, no matter what age you did that. Many people live in relationships that suck big time for years, and are not able or not willing to escape. They are being maltreated physically and mentally and their quality of life is very low. What I am trying to say is that quality is more important than quantity. Enjoy, cultivate and appreciate your quality. I am happily solo, but I wouldn't appreciate being solo so much if I didn't go through many years of relationship that sucked. Every time your regrets come back, remember that you wouldn't want to be with someone for 40 years who sucked at it. Enjoy and Congrats🎉🎉🎉
Hi Emma. I love your videos, and I have found them extremely helpful so far. I do have to mention however that, speaking personally as someone with Autism, Autism is not a deficit; I know you didn’t mean this in an offensive way, but the point is, it’s not something which is wrong with the brain, it’s simply a brain which is wired differently…and its not something that needs to be improved, it’s simply the way society is structured that causes so much anxiety for brains that are not suited to the nature of society as it currently is. Also, I have had therapy many times over the years, and whilst I am still in therapy now and not giving up, it’s so far never helped me to rewire how I think to be more positive. As I said, I’m not giving up, but no matter how much therapy I go to or what I do, there are some things fundamentally wrong with my life…not because I’m autistic, I just can’t process stuff the way other people do and feel constantly stuck. I once had private therapy for a year and a half, and my OCD was so bad that I was unable to get to most of the sessions on time, then the therapy was abruptly cancelled, which was terrible and meant that it actually made my mental health worse. All of this is making me wonder if in addition to Autism and OCD, I may have some hidden trauma as well, because I only have one other close friend who is as perpetually stuck in his problems as I am, and he happens to have PTSD. Thankyou for your videos, I’m still going to find a way forward but I don’t know what that is yet.
While I understand this , my hormones don’t , they have a mind of their own and should be incorporated along with mental health cause they both go hand in hand .
Yes! I'm on birth control pills and it makes me way more mentally stable than not being on them.. when I'm having my "stop week" (3 weeks of pills 1 stopweek to have the fake period) In that week I get much more irritable or anxious than in those 3 weeks when I am on my pill..
Yes, I am more prone to panic attacks during my period and in my fertile window. I wish my period and ovulation cycle were pain free and 100% peaceful. In the past my ovulation day has sent me to the running to the bathroom at school gagging from the nausea it brought me. I may go on the pill but I’m scared of side effects so I’m going to talk to gynecologist about it soon.
The person in line had an experience with compassion FIRST that then changed their thinking. Compassion is an experience of the heart, not the mind. The mind simply follows the heart. I have found it nearly impossible to change thinking without an experience that produces feelings that originate in the heart. Forgiveness, compassion, vulnerability...originate in the heart, not the mind, yet the field of psychology keeps trying to give all the credit to the brain/mind.
Hello Emma ! It is great that we can change our way of thinking! Will you also talk about how to feel inner peace and look forward again to things? I feel like over the past year I started looking negatively over the world, just because of this pandemic. Things that used to be normal didn't anymore and my brain was really shaken by this experience. Thank you!!!!
hi I doctor om David from Australia, I think your course might be good for me,you definately know your stuff, u trust you and you have a beautiful sole,hopefully talk soon 😃
I felt the part about compulsion a lot because I’ve been trying to explain to my therapists and doctors that all think I’m being impulsive when I drink. No, I feel very anxious, sometimes about life sometimes about trying not to think about drinking, and that is the well-worn path in my brain to relieve anxiety. I’m so tired of people telling me I have a death wish or I’m selfish. And they never address my underlying mental issues because they’re only concerned with the drinking. I see a lot of people thank you who can’t access therapy but I’ve been in the mental health system for 16 years and I’ve only started getting better because of channels like yours or courses or books like Feeling Good. I really am curious why NO ONE ever told me about that book. Not even the ones who claimed to do CBT. I mean, that information is exactly what they’re doing. But they can’t charge you $150 a week if you read a book. So anyway, thank you so much for all the work you’re doing.
@ Sid Pastore : Hey, Sid : my Dad drank from 17 to 80. He had dementia due to vascular issues & excess alcohol. i know now how he suffered. i wish, hope & pray your anxiety & fear are eased, so you can ease up on yourself for your sake. My Dad was not nice when he drank. It made him negligent & abusive. Still, all i do now is miss him & regret how the grog robbed him & our family of life. i sincerely hope you find your way to your own peacefulness.
Improve your mental health with the free course, courses.therapyinanutshell.com/grounding-skills-for-anxiety-stress-and-ptsd
I am from Gaza. I can't afford therapy. Your videos are helping me to cope with the difficulties I face in Gaza. Thank you for helping the underdogs, Emma!
@The Rockall Times Your anger at these deaths are justified, but attacking a random citizen of that country is not. We are not in full control of our own government. I'm sure you wouldn't like to be blamed for what your officials do that you disagree with yourself. You know nothing about his opinion or involvement with this issue.
@The Rockall Times Gaza is the largest open air prison in the world. Israel should stop their illegal occupation of Palestinan territories and its war crimes against a civilian population. An apartheid state with one of the strongest militaries in the world has the gall to complain about "rockets." Palestinians have a right to defend themselves whether you consider them human or not. This is not an "equal" conflict and the deaths are always overwhelmingly Palestinian, and mostly children and youth.
Hope things get well.
@The Rockall Times may be they wouldn't have done that if Israel wasn't illegally evicting Palestinians out of their homes and throwing grenades at people while they are praying in Al Aqsa Mosque the biggest holly site in Islam during the holiest month Ramadan. You are disgusting for supporting ethnic cleansing and genocide of the indigenous Palestinian people you should be ashamed of uttering such ignorance go and education yourself about the situation in Gaza and Israel and Palestine conflict before you open your filthy mouth again.
Please ignore these foolish people commenting. I too benefit from Emma. Best of luck and love to you. Ty .😊
I think it's brene brown who said: What would happen if I tell you that everyone is doing their very best? Your annoying coworker, your addicted neighbor, the guy who takes 20 minutes to order donuts. What would change if you'd assume they are doing their utmost? And do you have that assumption in your daily life? And then her husband said: I don't know if that's true or not, but my life is better if I do believe everyone's doing their very best. (of course she said it much more elegantly)
R.A. Masters in "Spiritual Bypassing" refers to 'everyone is doing the best they can' as facile (not appreciating the complexity of the matter). It's a way of letting everyone including oneself off the hook. Everyone doing the best they can (if true) does not absolve people of responsibility; but my belief that people are doing the best they can may inhibit me from requiring people to be responsible, and this would be naive and to my detriment. (my paraphrase)
@@user-uj8ls4jc6g I agree, I was just saying that the other day. Are people really doing the best they can (am I) or is itjust a way to excuse irresponsible and lazy people?? My problem is being compassionate with those who are shirking responsibility, those parents who never come to turms with the abuse they inflicted on their children. Is it a non truth that makes us feel better?
This helped me, thank you
@@deborah3912 here's the quote of R.A. Masters...
"Blind compassion is rooted in the belief that we are all doing the best that we can. When we are driven by blind compassion, we cut everyone far too much slack, making excuses for others' behaviour and making nice in situations that require a foreceful 'no,' an unmistakable voice of displeasure, or a firm setting and maintaining of boundaries. These things can, and often should, be done out of love, but blind compassion keeps love too meek, sentenced to wearing a kind face. This is not the kindness of the Dalai Lama, which is rooted in courage, but rather a kindness rooted in fear, and not just the fear of confrontation, but also the fear of not coming across as a good or spiritual person."
Masters continues. If people need to believe fiction to feel better I let them, until the point they are standing on my toes trying to cram it down my throat then it's on. People say the truth hurts but not half as much as BS hurts.
Just some thoughts on this comment section:
I think compassion, having an understanding for what someone is going through or why they are the way they are does *not* equal letting them do what they want.
In my humble opinion you can assume that everyone is doing their best and therefore take things less personal and YET call people out if they make a mistake, if they hurt you or others, etc..
I can understand why my mother is the way she is and yet draw my boundaries and not let her say or do what she wants with me.
Understanding and having compassion with others and oneself does not have to equal lacking responsibility.
It’s even easier for me to change myself for the better if I’m compassionate with myself because it gets me out of overwhelm and makes taking actions to better myself and my life that much easier.
Also I used to struggle with thinking am I really doing my best? Because doing the best can vary greatly from day to day and I can be very rigid with myself. Expecting that if I was able to work efficiently for 8 hours that one day, that it will have to be the same for all the following days, that it will be the new standard and anything less will be a disappointment.
But we’re all going through cycles and there are so many factors playing into this such as the amount of sleep, stress, women’s cycle, the kind of food and water, colds and flus, etc. as to why one day looks different than the other.
Now to end this long ass text, generally said there are probably types of people that need to take more responsibility for their actions and the other type that is so harsh with themselves blaming themselves for everything and therefore going into overwhelm and procrastination. The latter type really benefits from being more compassionate with themselves. This will actually help taking charge of their life and being more responsible. This is a lot easier to do when in the parasympathetic part of the nervous system.
If anyone read this whole text, thanks!! I’m open to other viewpoints!
As long as I’m alive I’ll keep on learning what it means to live
As an example of neuroplasticity.... I had a traumatic brain injury six years back.Among the myriad of challenges I faced, one of the most basic was that I needed to learn to retrain my self to walk. I used hiking poles to walk everywhere for the first few months as per my neuropsychologist. The left pole with the right foot, heel first then round to the ball of the foot. Right pole with left foot, heel first then round to the ball of the foot. At first I couldn't walk more than a few feet, but practice along with other balance exercises and eye tracking exercises and within two years I could walk several blocks. Now I can walk longer distances without poles. I'm up to three miles with poles and a mile without. I do 'refresher courses' for a month at a time to keep my training permanent because my memory systems were damaged. IT WORKS!!!
Bravo and thanks!
“Neurons that fire together- WIRE together!
Wonderful quote from Canadian psychologist Donald Hebb!
Fun fact: this morning I was pretty anxious; my mind told me I’ll never be free from (problematic) anxiety; felt weak, stomach sickness, depressed. Took a short walk in the neighborhood while paying attention to that stupid thought. Realized that Hey if I have this thought, does this means I’ll never be free from this state? How much power this thought have? Answer is 0. In the next few seconds, felt really great, energized, free and happy. Realized I can and I am actually free even if some sort of anxiety is there. So, always pay attention to your thoughts. Don’t ignore them, listen and check for the truth. You actually can’t detach from these negative thoughts (as other approaches tells us to just ignore them) if u don’t dispute them and check their validity . Your brain will always bring u these if not resolved.
Neuroplasticity really is a fascinating concept and proof that you have the power within to take control back in your life! It’s not easy but it sure is worth it ❤️❤️❤️
So 👍 true.
Thank you for your contribution to the field of therapy! I am a therapist. I prescribe your videos as homework😊 You have an incredible way of distilling complicated brain science into easily digestible information that anyone can use to better their lives. Thank you again for your hard work and dedication to helping humans live their best lives❤️
thanks so much Laura, when I started making these videos that's what I had in mind, that they would work as a supplement to therapy. And some days it goes awesome, and some days it's very stressful to attract so much attention (good and bad) so it's nice for me to hear how it's helping others
You are helping beyond words! My clients come back to let me know that our lessons/teachings in session make so much sense once they go home and also watch your videos. Most skip ahead a bit and watch more videos😊 Please know your reach is far and wide and very appreciated - especially by this therapist👍 Unfortunately, putting your work out there on TH-cam will certainly bring some less than positive attention - thank you for persevering through the negativity to bring such positivity and support to people who are suffering.
I LOVE this this channel. Emma, you really are amazing. I never get tired of watching and learning from you! 😍💟✝️☮️
@@laurabeaudry3905 - I love that you give your clients homework! That’s where the best progress comes: when you think, practice, or work on your issue(s) outside of the “learning” environment!
Especially as an adult diagnosed late in life w ADHD, the “learning” and “doing” aren’t always especially well connected. Half the time I just go to my therapist to act as a reminder/excuse/accountability buddy/reality check for thinking things out on my own.
I also think “homework” puts the emphasis back where it needs to be: the patient and/or relationship (couples) need to have ownership of the process (once any emergencies or difficult to understand or accept issues are explained & accepted sufficiently with expert help.)
My therapist also gives me homework to watch her videos 🙂💚
Thanks for the free content.
This is gold for a lot of people.
Thank you Emma
I just did 10 weeks of therapy and it felt great .
Neuroplasticity is so interesting to me! I’m feeling really anxious and although I’ve come a long way, the feeling of anxiety and how much I feel unsafe and in danger always seems to trip me up. Teaching myself I’m safe and I’ll get through this takes a lot of self convincing
Yes! You will get there! Rooting for you, it takes alot of strength you have
Your better than you know and there’s more good than what is perceived as wrong.
@sheepa I can’t begin to explain how much guided meditation has helped me with my anxiety that feels like the size of a planet, guided meditation is a form neurplasticity . Everyday or anytime I can get a moment to do it I listen to my favorite guided meditation that has helped me you can listen to it here: th-cam.com/video/MIr3RsUWrdo/w-d-xo.html
Be patient with it. I can almost promise you that it will work on the 1st or 3rd day of listening.
Thank you thank you! My budget doesn't allow me to have therapy ar the moment. You ARE my therapy and I feel that you are my therapist until I can once again afford it. Your videos are extremely helpful and I wish you great success!
I’m suffering from crippling anxiety and panic. I have weekly therapy but find Emma’s videos so helpful. It’s very hard to change the way I think but I am trying. Thank you Emma for making these videos available to all and free.
I hope you are better now❤
I am half way through. With my notebook and a desire to be better . I am passing these to my 16 yrs old daughter because she has panic attacks in school and sometimes at home in the night. I really appreciate this free help. I am living in one income, 6 ppl, newly immigrated to a new country , studying to be able to get a job. THANK YOU. It was the best and most clear and well structured piece of advise online I could find. 💌❤
I learn more from you than my own therapists, past and present. You explain terminology with ease and I get excited for change! Thank you!
Sounds like the advice of--- "lower your expectations and you won't be as disappointed with people"!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this issue. Your content is some of the best on TH-cam. 🎉
You are helping me so much.. I’m a 27 years old man from Turkey who hasn’t been able to form good social relations, has never actually accomplished anything and is now afraid to move on in life..
I suffer from Bipolar and BPD and have recently found the hope that comes with being knowledgeable in areas such as how the nervous system effects our brains, and if I hadn’t stumbled across you or your videos I would have no idea about any of it. You are lighting up so many parts of this world one light, authentic, and educational talk at a time. Seriously, I’m just so unbelievably grateful for you and your incredible heart and brain. I hope that when you find time to stop and tap into the bright wonderful feelings in the world around us that you can see and be proud that you are such a massive part of it. ❤️
I’m all over this. I’ll be with you through this series. Can’t wait. Thank you for sharing your expertise 🥰
awesome
First you must accept that this is true and the therapy will work! My biggest challege is fighting my inner voice saying I'm just messed up and can't be any different. One day at a time I'm climbing out of a cave of wrong thinking.
I am mostly recovered from OCD however it's SO difficult helping others recover because they believe they lack the "willpower". Thank you for your excellent explanation on CBT and ERP with neuroplasticity. I know I have only the same amount of will power as most and I want everyone to feel better. Your videos have been helping me explain wellness for over a year now. THANK YOU!
How did you recover from ocd ? It’s hard you always doubt
23 year old, had two serious relationships (4 years, then 1 year). Even though I ended them, there is so much pain and understanding of 'self' that needs to be done. All in the pandemic!
Your channel is a blessing in disguise. I hope I heal and get through.
One way to do this is making tiny promises to yourself every day. A future self journal helps.
I adore you! Thank you for your informative and non-judgmental guidance. You are soooo helpful.
I am a 72 year old retied coal miner and on my own like I was during the year long miners strike after my first divorce Had another divorce since then and now what kept me happy during the strike was that I was day dreaming how I would get all that I want, never did but it kept me happy and I do the same now, just spend my days day dreaming they may never come true but my day dreams keeps me happy.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the effort you put into these videos.
All of the genuine goodness in your heart is changing more lives than I’m sure you even realize. I am unbelievably inspired and shocked to find your channel and all of the new information that comes with it.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Seriously. ❤️
I've noticed I conquered my agoraphobia with this method. I would panic anytime anyone else left the house and one day i saw despite my panic everyone else kept coming back ok. So I was panicking over nothing. It's hard to carry over with other things. I always noticed our thoughts ARE our feelings so when talking to a person with Alexithymia or someone who doesn't express emotions much just ask them what they think and they will tell you how they feel because thoughts are tied with our feelings.
Thank you for your videos. I have seen several therapists and none have been able to help. Your videos are helping me so much to process through a very difficult time in my life, and I am so thankful for you.
This video offered a sense of hope and optimism for me. When I think about the stress and anxiety that I often feel, I shudder at the prospect that these experiences are permanently altering my brain in a harmful manor. However, after watching this video and hearing the account of one of your clients, I gained an insight on the true value of neuroplasticity. At the end of the day, your videos have helped me to rethink how I view my mental health challenges.
Thank you for your videos they have really given my family and myself hope. Both my brother and I were molested as children by our babysitter. We've only come to terms with that reality, we're struggling with alcohol abuse and violent outbursts with our parents, but I have hope this will change now, thank you.
Emma,you are Godblessed and in spite of all the positive feedback you have received you really really do not have the foggiest idea how strikingly helpful your advice is in all your videos.Add to that a beautiful lady with a beautiful personality and you'll get the sum of your affectiveness!!!Thank you from the bottom of my heart.Leon Lombard, South Africa.
Thank you for making these! With every video I think “Wow this is the best one yet!”
I understand it intellectually but practically it’s very difficult to get rid of those negative neural pathways
Let's keep practicing! We'll get better at it :)
True but we must keep moving forward to be healthy mentally thank you Emma for your videos
Emma thank you so much for this video. It means a lot to me. As a financially strained college student, your resources on YT has help me learn how to take care of myself better. So thank you so much for all that you do !
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
Very nice examples with the blind men - the tale about the one in the donuts shop in front, and the case about the other one, who learned to ride a bike.
So neuroplasticity is the ability of the brain to change - that is get new neuro-pathways, thus being able to learn something new, adapt new habits, or change some behaviors even as an adult.
Wow. So far out of the several of your videos I have watched, this one resinated the most with me. A little back ground. I am 56, retired Army, Explosive Ordnance Disposal. I have a Bachelors in psychology with military resilience cognate. I volunteer at my local Veterans Treatment Court as the Mentor Coordinator. I am having a hard time adapting to civilian life. I can’t understand why peoples ethics suck. Unsafe practices, selfish behavior, and poor work ethics. It really bothers me. I need to rewire but not sure how. I am finding it very hard to do so. I would love to learn more so I can help myself and others.
Maybe you are looking for the worst in people instead of the good in people? If you keep looking for the bad, you will continue to find it.
Compassion for the less fortunate/regimented, not criticism. Would that help you accept your new environment?
@@sharon7501 huh please dont reply nonsense if you dont know what you are taking abt...geezzz
I've believed for years that if you can work to change your mind you'll feel better. It's not a cure all and not meant to mask or ignore serious issues, but you can help yourself to feel better. I've even found it an effective way to deal with even the common cold. Sadly it makes my wife sooo mad when I suggest she do something to change her mind to help her feel better.
Thank you for all the help. I am healing my anxiety everyday. I am.becoming a better person everyday.
As a therapist I feel the mantra of think differnet, feel differnet is outdated as well can be shaming of clients. The simple fact is the lower structures if the brain, the brainstem and limbic systems will take priority over your neo cortex/thinking parts of the brain. In simple terms state will always come before story. We need to bring compassion to our feelings and sensations which in turn will bring us back to safety.
Hi Jason, I agree with you in some ways, I hope you've seen the previous videos in this series, the first two were on a nonjudgmental attitude toward emotions, the next 4 were on willingness and not resisting emotions, the next 8 were basically on the limbic brain and how emotions are in your body. now after laying that foundation we're moving on to some cognitive work, because how we think does impact how we feel, but it's not the only thing that impacts how we feel. The nervous system response definitely happens faster than we can think. Also there's an upcoming section on self-compassion. Thanks for your comment. Hopefully as a culture and a therapy field we can move forward.
Thank you, I ca think more positively, and be more positive with people and hopefully feel better simply from that.
This is my second week of the course. Thank you
Lord Jesus. Day by day we recall your saving work on the cross. Your love has no boundaries and we are eternally grateful for your loving mercy and healing. You are our wonderful saviour. May the unsaved of this world will come to know you before it’s too late. Amen
I tend to listen to your content on my way to work as part of my daily routine. Keeping healthful tips in mind before what may be a tough day at work has helped me start many many days on a more mindful level.
Great video. Many people believe that change isn't possible, and so of course they don't. Believing in change opens the door. It's all about facing and instead of avoiding.
Your teaching methods are incredible
You engage the audience with your anologies
Your true to life stories. And your visuals drive home the point. Love your teaching abilities.
CBT. Definitely doesn't have the side effects that meds do. And you are growing your mind.
Thanks Alvina
You are amazing Emma, thank you. All of what you say makes so much sense 🙌
I came from a world apart and ur video helps me, like i've been living past years in my country where mwntal health is not an option
I love your videos. I’ve made notes from each one in this series and put them in a binder. Can you do a video about recovering from abusive marriage that ends in divorce? Especially emotional abuse and gaslighting. Thank you!
Check out Dr. Ramani (you'll love her!) about abusive relationships and Dr. Carter.
Thanks!
Thank you very much, Dr. Emma, for all your work and all your videos. You are so knowledgeable and so understanding. Your delivery is perfect. Perfect. You definitely found your calling. Thank you very much again. I love, "Go ahead, anxiety. Stay as long as you like." When I told myself that, I felt the anxiety inside literally be shocked. I finally shocked it, by turning the tables on it. Don't fight it, just observe it, and it will go. Thanks again. --Jack, 59, Pasadena, CA
Nice video. It's nice to see folks actually explaining brain function and research to get people out of the mysticism of thinking. When people are taught it's a miracle, they can only hope. When they learn it's real, they can see how to change.
Absolutely true! I’ve recently learned of mindfulness, meditation,introspection and neuroplasticity. I am amazed! I thank you for all you do 🙏🏼
I learn something new..thank you for this wonderful content. I am suffering from Health Anxiety..
Thank you so much for posting these videos!! I found your channel last month and it's helping me out a lot during this stressful time of taking my entrance exam. Words cant express how grateful I'm for stumbling across this gem!! ❤✨
You are a God's sent angel. I would have succembed to my negative thoughts..
Thank you for this series! These are an amazing resource!!!
Start today and make a change. One step at a time will make all the difference. Look from a different perspective and change the way you think about things. Neuroplacticity, you are not stuck. You can change for the better.
You are an amazing professional. Thanks for posting this.
Very very nice video Madam... Thank You for educating us & thereby tranforming us .... I watched your above video with ABSOLUTE MINDFULNESS.... Imbibed everything out of it completely.... Looking forward to your next video(s)
Thoughts lead you to feelings/emotions which lead to you to overreacting.
By realizing that the thoughts are not your own, this awareness will cause you to doubt them.
This means they can have no more power over you.
Thanks for being a blessing to everyone.❤
I am so happy to see you’re on Spotify!
Emma!! This video will be mandatory homework before I start CBT for my clients! Brilliant! Thankyou!
I think it’s awesome you give you clients homework!
As an adult-diagnosed ADHD person, I find I have to take more ownership and active thinking or practicing outside therapy sessions to get much out of them. The “learning” and “doing” aren’t as well connected with me (Eg Dr Russell Barkley’s This is how science says you should treat ADHD talk excerpt on TH-cam).
Hi there thank you so much I had brain injery my brain is not working as normal how was before but this video is giving me hope for recovery .
I'm from Brazil and I'm loving to watch those videos, thank you so much for your work. And I must say that your voice sounds SO MUCH like Cher!
Also, get rid of ALL the negative people in your life!!
I wish I'd know this channel years ago! But still I am thankful!
I learn more from youtube than with my teachers
Powerful insights, thank you!
A big thank you all the way from Egypt. You are saving lives with this great work . Keep up the good work. Bless your heart
Thank you very much Tamer
Amazing 😅you are so great 😊
Your lessons are blessings for many
Emma your smile is worth ten million sunsets and sunrises.
This was very helpful. It’s already helped me start changing the way I think. Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge your time and expending your energy. it’s so appreciated and so needed
I’ve seen psychiatrists before and they have never helped me like your videos have helped me! I’ve your vids
So at my 60th birthday party I left the pictures, the short video clips and what I had written to say that was going to be endearing and funny to the 89 guests of former coworkers, my friends and family I had at my party. I decided just to relax and enjoy the party and let others talk instead. Consequently, I did not introduce my seven year old daughter, stepdaughter and wife. Many knew that I had finally married late in life and we had a child. So many regrets now of things I did not do. I would like to use neural plasticity to let my brain remember that I made a decision based on I what I felt at the time. And be happy on how everything unfolded.
Don't regret the past, enjoy your present.
You are so lucky that you found your second half, and have a child, no matter what age you did that. Many people live in relationships that suck big time for years, and are not able or not willing to escape. They are being maltreated physically and mentally and their quality of life is very low.
What I am trying to say is that quality is more important than quantity. Enjoy, cultivate and appreciate your quality.
I am happily solo, but I wouldn't appreciate being solo so much if I didn't go through many years of relationship that sucked.
Every time your regrets come back, remember that you wouldn't want to be with someone for 40 years who sucked at it.
Enjoy and Congrats🎉🎉🎉
Thank very much for your kind help and care!!!❤
Looking forward to this series. Thank you.
I absolutely love all your videos. They are inspiring and very helpful. Thank you
So lucky to find this channel!
Hi Emma. I love your videos, and I have found them extremely helpful so far. I do have to mention however that, speaking personally as someone with Autism, Autism is not a deficit; I know you didn’t mean this in an offensive way, but the point is, it’s not something which is wrong with the brain, it’s simply a brain which is wired differently…and its not something that needs to be improved, it’s simply the way society is structured that causes so much anxiety for brains that are not suited to the nature of society as it currently is.
Also, I have had therapy many times over the years, and whilst I am still in therapy now and not giving up, it’s so far never helped me to rewire how I think to be more positive. As I said, I’m not giving up, but no matter how much therapy I go to or what I do, there are some things fundamentally wrong with my life…not because I’m autistic, I just can’t process stuff the way other people do and feel constantly stuck. I once had private therapy for a year and a half, and my OCD was so bad that I was unable to get to most of the sessions on time, then the therapy was abruptly cancelled, which was terrible and meant that it actually made my mental health worse. All of this is making me wonder if in addition to Autism and OCD, I may have some hidden trauma as well, because I only have one other close friend who is as perpetually stuck in his problems as I am, and he happens to have PTSD. Thankyou for your videos, I’m still going to find a way forward but I don’t know what that is yet.
Thank you so much for your videos. Your dedication shines through. God bless you x
Thank you for your effort and time. This is a blessing.
I very much appreciate your videos. They are very helpful and encouraging. Thank you!
❤️🙏 I'm so blessed to find your channel. God bless you and family
You are INCREDIBLE to listen to. Thank you
Thanks for listening
While I understand this , my hormones don’t , they have a mind of their own and should be incorporated along with mental health cause they both go hand in hand .
Yes! I'm on birth control pills and it makes me way more mentally stable than not being on them..
when I'm having my "stop week" (3 weeks of pills 1 stopweek to have the fake period)
In that week I get much more irritable or anxious than in those 3 weeks when I am on my pill..
Hormones suck, even for men 😁
Yes, I am more prone to panic attacks during my period and in my fertile window. I wish my period and ovulation cycle were pain free and 100% peaceful. In the past my ovulation day has sent me to the running to the bathroom at school gagging from the nausea it brought me. I may go on the pill but I’m scared of side effects so I’m going to talk to gynecologist about it soon.
@@celestecelestial90 the pill was the worst for me . Take care of you so you can fix your hormones .
@@rebeccaoprea9917 thanks for your feedback. hopefully I’ll find a solution. 🌞🙂
Thank you so much for these videos, they are a God send
Emma, many thanks for your life changing videos.
Thank you, Emma, have a great day!
You too samuel!
The person in line had an experience with compassion FIRST that then changed their thinking. Compassion is an experience of the heart, not the mind. The mind simply follows the heart. I have found it nearly impossible to change thinking without an experience that produces feelings that originate in the heart. Forgiveness, compassion, vulnerability...originate in the heart, not the mind, yet the field of psychology keeps trying to give all the credit to the brain/mind.
Good analogy!
Hello Emma ! It is great that we can change our way of thinking! Will you also talk about how to feel inner peace and look forward again to things? I feel like over the past year I started looking negatively over the world, just because of this pandemic. Things that used to be normal didn't anymore and my brain was really shaken by this experience. Thank you!!!!
I’m back lol 😆 it took me a while... I’m ready again thanks for everything you do !!!!
So grateful for these videos! Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for your content! You are sooooo sympathetic!!!!!
hi I doctor om David from Australia, I think your course might be good for me,you definately know your stuff, u trust you and you have a beautiful sole,hopefully talk soon 😃
I felt the part about compulsion a lot because I’ve been trying to explain to my therapists and doctors that all think I’m being impulsive when I drink. No, I feel very anxious, sometimes about life sometimes about trying not to think about drinking, and that is the well-worn path in my brain to relieve anxiety. I’m so tired of people telling me I have a death wish or I’m selfish. And they never address my underlying mental issues because they’re only concerned with the drinking. I see a lot of people thank you who can’t access therapy but I’ve been in the mental health system for 16 years and I’ve only started getting better because of channels like yours or courses or books like Feeling Good. I really am curious why NO ONE ever told me about that book. Not even the ones who claimed to do CBT. I mean, that information is exactly what they’re doing. But they can’t charge you $150 a week if you read a book. So anyway, thank you so much for all the work you’re doing.
@ Sid Pastore : Hey, Sid : my Dad drank from 17 to 80. He had dementia due to vascular issues & excess alcohol. i know now how he suffered. i wish, hope & pray your anxiety & fear are eased, so you can ease up on yourself for your sake. My Dad was not nice when he drank. It made him negligent & abusive. Still, all i do now is miss him & regret how the grog robbed him & our family of life. i sincerely hope you find your way to your own peacefulness.
Omg!!! The fabulous apps is so helpful and very interesting...Tq . Sending love from Malaysia 🇲🇾 🌸