Going through the same thing! Found a man that loves me and is understanding of my trust issues, works with me, and it can be really challenging to determine if I'm feeling my intuition or my trust issues sometimes even when he's done nothing wrong. I'm working to overcome my fears not only so that I can keep the love I deserve but also to give myself that inner peace. Letting go of the past is hard you have to forgive the person that hurt you and forgive yourself for choosing that person. If you don't, you can't enjoy the love you find after it.
Corey Steen yes you are completely right, forgiveness is a big part of it. I am so happy you found a good man!!! I’m pretty sure I did too! It’s still pretty early, 3 months in but he has treated me with so much respect and care always. I have many fears as well, my past abusive relationship made me afraid to even walk in a Walmart. But with time and therapy and a lot of crying I’ve over come a lot. It’s comforting to know we aren’t alone in this. I hope we both channel our inner peace and shine ❤️🥰🥰🥰
@@sagebreeze your comment really resonated with me. And you’re right. I’ve been hurt so much that whenever I date someone new and the moment I start to catch any feeling I start to lose trust in them. I thought I had dealt with all my past heartbreaks but maybe I truly haven’t as much as I thought I did 😞
What’s helped me through having trust issues, is having a positive outlook on things. If my partner hasn’t given me a reason to doubt them I simply don’t.
I struggle trusting my lady, because of past relationships. I don't want to be paying her bills only for her to leave me for someone who has more money than I do. Recently I've decided that I'm gonna go all the way, and trust her completely, because I don't like doing things half way. I pray that this will all work out for our good.
@Donald Wayne Carroll Interesting hearing this from a man. Were you hurt in this relationship or past relationships? I've heard men say this before, but it's typically an excuse not to commit.
tara jones You stated that when men say they are hurt it is an excuse. How do you know it is an excuse in his case? Women cheat and hurt men just like men hurt women. Should we challenge women when they say they are hurt? Can we say it is Karma when a women gets hurt? Maybe she cheated and now it's her turn? In the black community this is common for women to minimize the feelings of men except for their sons. I think Donald deserves compassion and understanding not slight ridicule.
Yes, I have trust issues. I did the exercise of writing down 1) Who hurt me? 2)What did they do? I am waiting for my book so, I can continue the process
Hey stephan, every woman in my past has betrayed me. I'm on my 3rd wife. Wife 1 and 2 both cheated. I can't even go to my mom because she brings up anything I share with her when we get in an argument. I'm having difficulty trusting my now wife. NOT because ANYTHING she's done. I don't want my trust issues to ruin my relationship with her. She deserves a fair shake. It seems like a pit that I keep trying to climb out of.
Yes i would say I have trust issues. Because even after I let a person know the things I've experienced. They still turn around and do the same exact thing..
I dont trust women..they leave for anything n u loved her...ez fix..stop loving n bein attached..jus like n not too much in case u needa leave her ass.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
I met this Asian woman online at the end of last month. We were planning a long term relationship. The chemistry we had was right there. We was real happy together. I'm like I had finally found the one. We were only together for two weeks and went out twice. We had good vibes. I'm like "Damn. God found the right lady for me". Our last time together was last Tuesday evening when we went out to dinner and I paid for it. Then the next morning it all changed. I woke up trying to text her good morning on messenger and she removed me on that and instagram. I was stabbed in the back, and blindsided with no explanation by somebody I was looking forward to be with for a long time. It hurt more than getting hit by a vehicle. I was a gent with a good pure heart. I see u become a bad, bad person when u show your romantic and caring side. Now I'm telling myself to stop trusting right away and see if they earn. Trust is not given.
I don’t have trust issues, I’m just learning HOW to trust. As a child I was overprotected so I never dealt with anyone hurting me. As an adult I never knew how hurtful ppl can be. I trusted ppl when I first met them. Now I know never give BLIND TRUST. Trust has to be earned, a person has to be trustworthy first. So I can trust, I just have to know I can trust you. Then if they break my trust I just see your not trustworthy and keep it moving. Don’t trust anyone 100% either! Yes, easier said than done, but it can be done. The major KEY , Trust God not people!!!! Let God guide your heart and you can see what is right for you.
I have trust issues big time. I'm so frustrated though, because I know they're false, I know it's time to change but my anxiety is so strong. The pain or fear is louder than the thoughts telling me otherwise.
@@willyoung859 lots of improvement! I left a stressful environment and a stressful relationship. Not to say I don't have any trust issues now, but my problems a year ago were very much perpetuated by the situations I was in. My stress tolerance is higher since things have changed so my mind doesn't feel cornered and therefore doesn't need to go to that place of being where it's second guessing people's motives and thinking the worst etc. I feel more relaxed to be curious about people rather than be defensive and maybe irrationally offensive with my language/attitude.
Hard to give advice, I feel like our trust issues come about for different reasons, causes etc. But for me, I'm very sensitive to my environment. And I was living with 3 terrible dogs, 2 cats and 3 other people and no one (the three people) were helping me with all this stress. I think me not trusting people was very much a product of the situation and the people I was with. Just getting out of that helped a lot. Maybe you have trust issues but maybe it's the people you're with that is making it worse. Something to consider?
Yes, a lot of my trust issues root back to my childhood with having a emotionally manipulative parent(s) then leaving them to realize the world was just as bad as them if not worse and not having anybody to confide in. I’m 25 now, and doing to work to heal so I can create better and healthier relationships. Thank you for the videos 💕
Yup idk how to call it but having mommy and daddy issues combined is soooo draining. How the ones that suppose to love you from day one break your heart and continue to break it. Yet we gotta trust a random person. It’s so hard
So, here’s my thing, I don’t think I have trust issues, I think I struggle with forgiveness after someone breaks my trust. I genuinely give everyone the benefit of the doubt without skepticism, but once I’m deceived I have a habit of getting rid of the person. I’m working on it.
What's wrong with getting rid of the person though? Forgiveness doesn't mean keeping them around or in your life. It means forgiving yourself for choosing the wrong person to trust.
@@Michelle-ke7me The Bible says trust GOD. Putting trust in people is what causes unnecessary pain which you eventually have to heal from. Have a blessed day.
@@lisajones-franklin3574 Yes, always trust God. As far as trusting people..... Trust yourself that You can make the right decision or not,(life is a learning lesson) however you will recover. I'm Not saying open yourself and trust everybody without thinking. What I know to be true, trust is more about You then the other person. Doesn't mean you won't encounter trustworthy people, it means You have the power to recover. As humans we are here to be with others,(not alone) Some people didn't get the memo and try to hurt us or break our trust. When you have a personal relationship with God, trust in him that he will help you with all this. You too have a blessed day.
The Bible says Trust GOD. I could not find a scripture anywhere that says Trust people. That does not mean that you have to be alone or that you can't have a healthy relationship with people. The Bible does not say don't have a healthy relationship with people. It says trust GOD. At the end of the day you get to define what you consider a trust issue for yourself and you cannot decide whether a person has a trust issue because they choose to trust GOD, not people.
@@lisajones-franklin3574 Wow!! I see that your not understanding what I stated. It's not an attack on you or anyone else that reads it. We are on the same page as far as God is concerned. To me, God is in everything I do. If you reread my statement, I didn't say much about trusting people. Trust is about trusting yourself. Of course only you can really say how much you trust or not. My comment was just that, a comment. You have God in your life, in my opinion; you are doing Great.
I use to have trust issues, until I healed....I would highly recommend his book, "Love after heartbreak ". I had trust issues that stem from my father leaving me and my mother when I was 9 and then having to move in with alcoholic grandparents that caused so much pain and trauma, but once I healed....I don't have any hard feelings against my father and grandfather, but don't condone what they did. I try to see the good in everyone that I meet.
Yes. I have trust issues in relationships. I’ve been cheated on sooo many times and now it’s a huge fear of mine. I’ve pushed away people I’ve loved because of it 😔
You are not alone I also get betray many times and people around get get or betrayed each other I hate that I am faithful person I came across the vedio and searching cause I wanna cope up from my trust issues I move on from my ex and things but I build trust issue and insecurity that's what I am trying to cope up
At the end of last month talked to somebody online. She was real cool. We met three days later after work for a snack. The chemistry we had was right there. Then I helped her get home when it was dark. We only went out twice. We met again a week later which was last Tuesday for dinner and I paid for it. We was vibing real good. We texted to make sure we got home safe. She then texted me goodnight which was the last time she ever texted me. Wednesday morning it all had changed. I woke up to say goodmorning to her, finding out she had cut me off everywhere from my number to messenger to Instagram and no explanation. I got blindsided. I thought she was gonna be the one long term. I been in this situation a few times. She was the coolest one I thought we was gonna make it happen long term. I guess I trusted her too quick and never got to learn more about her. I gotta say that was a wasted opportunity for two weeks. Gotta learn a lot about people before trusting.
God is the only one we know for certain who won't let us down Don't trust People trust God Ask him for his guidance People are in your life for a reason season or lifetime you just have to desern which one it is
Yes I have trust issues, because I have been hurt in the past where guys tell me they will be there for me and end up cheating on me. So now I guard my heart, and when a man tells me anything I don't believe them and my defenses goes up.
Yes I have trust issues. My girlfriend was chatting with some dude late at night for some days now and she lied about it. Just so you will know that I don't trust her anymore.
Came to this video in 2021 after an unfaithful girlfriend and it helped so much, back to the video again during a great relationship. These issues never really leave
Yes, i struggle with trust issues everyday and it hurts so much. Just him being out of my sight... ( might i add .. he smokes alot) i dont trust it. I am so damaged .. my thoughts hurt me.
Hey girl! Gosh that sucks!!! Get with the Lord though so you can learn to trust Him and not people. People will always let us down one way or another BUT we can’t focus on the “what-ifs” we gotta focus on God to guide us and help us in our relationships ya know. My bf is a fulltime photographer and i trust him all day long and day and week...until some young-single woman books a shoot with him!! It sucks the things that go thru my head. My thoughts hurt me as well & i dont even really think he’ll cheat on me but its the fact i just dont want him around women so closely but thats his career & he’s amazing at what he does. But i start fights about “what-ifs” when he goes out his way to try and make me feel comfortable. It sucks but as of TODAY it changes!! I fully trust GOD!! I give God my worries and fears cause if i worry about it i’ll fail. So stay focused on yourself & loving your man okay? If something happens behind your back, know that God will direct you away from him and/or deal with that with him.
I so identify with this. It builds up in my head and I feel so much hurt and everything that person is ever done wrong to me plays on repeat 😞 but I keep thinking if I get to fix this and learn how to forgive I would improve myself and my quality of life so much more. I hope you feel better love ❤️ you deserve to. Remember you got infinite amounts of love that don’t loose value bc others can’t recognize that and you don’t loose that love and value for giving it to someone you considered valuable at the time bc in that moment you made your choice with the knowledge and emotions you had and you thought correct. You were worth millions before and you are worth millions after and you will continue to be worth millions no matter what no matter who happens.
We can heal from trust issues when we take time to break from dating. Everyone isn’t like the people from our past. People are different. Give people a clean slate to trust first until they show otherwise
Trust issues will always come up when you have expectations on someone. It’s saying “I expect you to protect me and make me happy “ when that’s not their responsibility. I definitely have trust issues but I’ve learned to realize them and what triggers me. Still making mistakes but learning along the way. I’ve realized no one can make me happy except me so I’ve stopped expecting anyone to live up to that obligation. They are officially off the hook. I now look to heal and service my own heart through God. Can’t go wrong when you give your all to yourself. Self Love ❤️
You are very strong, brave and have courage. It's difficult for people who find joy in pleasing other people to switch their mindset to do what you do. I hope one day I can walk in your footsteps.
This is very true but its easier said then done when these issued have been rooted in you since you were born. And at the end of the day who wants to live life like that with no reassurance or support from anyone else other than yourself. Some people are self sufficient but most of us need the love and support from others minus the lies and the betrayal thats all we ask a little honesty and loyalty.
Wow !!!! Literally typed in “how to deal with trust issues” in the search engine. Your 3rd point is literally steps 1-3 for me personally. Asking GODDDDD first if he wants me dealing with someone in the first place. That’s it right there !!!!
Summary of the video :- 1. You need to heal from your past first 2. Start to open and transparent about your struggle 3. Learn to trust God more than human beings It is always better to watch the entire video 💐
Yes I have trust issues trusting people because everyone I know and met have betrayed my kindness to them. However am not angry anymore. But I am skeptical with making new friends and dating any new man.🙅♀️💘🙏👏📖
As a woman, it's easy to fall into the trap of being 'too nice'. A lot of times we have to first identify what we might be doing wrong before expecting others to treat us a certain way.
I have trust issues, but I think the issue started from my father not being there! Then years of family, and friends letting me down. So, now I don’t trust people. Years ago it was worst than it is today. Yet and still I believe in change.
Same lack of trust stems from abandonment issues. It’s a lot more complicated than just a betrayal. It’s a way to get past it with God ,prayer, and time.
Disappointment is likely the biggest cause of the trust issues I have experienced. Learning to heal and not camp at the place of hurt. Been a journey, but when I look back, I see how far I've come, how much better I feel, how happier and more understanding of others I have become. I am living my best life yet, and better yet is on the way. God is faithful to heal. Thank you for your videos.
I suspected my wife of husband on me but! never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a PI/Hacker and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife's phones Text messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, if you need help you can contact him through Instagram *TROYSAM001* infidelity hurts
Man it feels like everyone ive ever loved has done me wrong, and now that I got this girl that might actually be doing me right I cant trust her for nothing damn, ive always shared my experiences and still got done wrong, leading me to think no woman is loyal and maybe its just me or smth, thanks for the video guys wish me the best of luck i really dont know what to do anymore
I most definitely do not have trust issues and that is my biggest issue. I don’t have a healthy balance of knowing when to trust and knowing when to guard my heart. It’s something that I’m currently working on.
This was really good bro, especially when you mentioned trusting God and that He uses every situation for growth and His glory. That hit me like a truck as i was scrolling through the comments. 🙏🏽
I do have trust issues. I have been hurt and betrayed by friends, family, and men I "thought" loved me. I also recognize that I can't make others pay for what someone else has done. So, I have taken the necessary steps towards healing.
Trust yourself and your value Step 1 Stop accepting the BS and call it out. Step 2 Give yourself permission to Love on yourself so others will be drawn to that and respect that self love. Step 3 Or be gone!
Yes. My whole life my household never had a safe place for love & comfort so I always looked that into my friends but through the courses of growing up I’ve witnessed back stabbing, two facing & lies which has now made me feel like i need to look out for everyone now. I’m currently in a 2 year relationship with my girl & time to time I jump & have episodes about not trusting her. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me, everything seems to good to be true. I never had any feeling of genuine love from someone like her but I’m hurting her. I’m putting doubt on how she feels for me & I don’t know where to start on fixing it.
This man is awesome. I really enjoy how he says consult with GOD first before making any decisions and he says that in all his videos.I have brought three books, which were amazing!! Thank you for the message.
Yes, I've had experiences that scarred me in ways that made it hard to trust again, and I've read your book as well as many others on this topic. Over time I have learned that everyone is different, and it's important to be able to see new relationships through new eyes. As you mentioned it is important to heal before trying to date again. I personally like to take at least a year off from dating whenever I do have a relationship that ends badly enough that I need more time to heal and process everything before I can move forward in a positive direction again. A new person should not have to pay for the mistakes of someone from your past. That saying that "hurt people hurt people" isn't acceptable anymore, because "healed people heal people".
HELLO STEPHAN,AND YES INDEED I HAVE EXTREME TRUST ISSUES. IVE SEEN AND EXPERIENCED SO MUCH THAT ANXIETY ARE WEARING HEELS!!!! IM TO THE POINT TRULY WHEREAS I JUST DONT HAVE FAITH IN LOVE ANYMORE!! I REALLY WANT TO,BUT I JUST DONT!!!
This was very powerful as I have had trust issues since I was a child do to multiple issues. My dad was an alcoholic and I was miss treated sexually by family members as well as being bullied at school. I have since grown and matured and learned to love myself however failing at multiple relationships including friends lovers and family. I feel this will be a struggle for the rest of my life because of all the damage I have endured. Now that I am over half century old… I am truly learning how to be in successful relationships. I do thank you for your time and your laughter during your videos.
Thankyou for this. I am finding God and talking to God more. I have been bullied all my life and something happened the other day with someone new in my life beinging jealous of my bubbly personality and yet again I was taken down. I have been praying alot since talking to God about this. Thankyou
I do, I second question/guess everyone’s moves and motives. At this point, im in a good relationship and I want it to work, in order for this, I need to sort out my own trust issues before it continues to jeopardise my relationships, platonic or not ❤️
I feel like I have no trust for anyone anymore. I’ve been lied to, betrayed, dealt with negative people, and learning about narcissistic ppl and then being close to me.
I am afraid to trusting people I’ve already lost trust in . I take it personal and then I get stuck. I believe I do my best in not steal peoples properties and not act shady. Thank you, you marked realized that no one is perfect including me.
After my ex always cheating and hurting me I haven't been able to fully trust my new man🥺 and I really want to cause he treats me so well i just cant get used to it
I do, it’s always a gut feeling and usually they’re right. I find out they were cheating so I think that’s what it has always stayed into my mind. Plus this new century, people make cheating as a trend. Therefore I see a lot of infidelity and every female just exposing themselves and that sometimes make me feel insecure.
Damn sir, you got me crying when you said to trust God. I haven't thought about God in awhile. I have been so into my daily life. I couldn't cry the emotions out and today when I heard your video about trusting God, I finally cried.
Love the video and yes I have / had trust issues. Months ago I just gave it all to God and handed it over. That was the best thing I could do. Praying for healing strength and guidance and it’s been an amazing journey and experience. I can see Gods hand in everything what’s happening.
6:43 - 7:00 This is such a great video. Stephan, your passion for seeing lives changed really shines through in this clip. You are a great example of what you teach. Thank you for your transparency.
I have been betrayed twice. I still struggle with it even though I do everything that I could. I have forgiven them but my instincts tell me to apply what I learned. Right now I can only conclude that the only way to heal is to not experience it in the first place.
Yes my bro... I do have trust issues and I want freedom from them. This makes total sense and I get what you are saying 100% I have a fight or flight problem (mainly flight) in relationships and it's because I have had many women who have cheated on me. My current Girlfriend who I genuinely believe is from the Lord gets upset when I question about certain facebook posts that trigger me (even if I do it nicely just to express my concern or feelings) I'm really working on this and I just want to surrender it to God
Thank You! First for giving the inclination to forgive ourselves…for loosing trust and not knowing who to trust-next, appreciate your words to trust God. 🙏🏽💜
Trust and fear are my biggest obstacles. I’ve consistently dealt with abuse and abandonment for the past 20 years and now that I’m in the first healthy relationship of my life, I’m desperate to overcome these negative features in my life so as not to damage the beautiful union I’ve found now with my new partner.
I am in the same boat. Its hard but i think its to never give up. Cause learning how to trust in a healthy way isnt easy. Wish i knew better in the past.
If you’re familiar with Erickson’s theory on development, you will understand when I say that I developed trust issues from infancy. Those experiences were solidified in childhood while searching for affirmation from the adult women in my life. On another note: I’m very grateful for you and your work. Thank You 🙏🏽
After a 3 year relationship with a narrissist relationship. I didn't have trust issues til dealing with the covert narrissist. How do u gain trust after the hurt and betrayal of dealing with the narrissist.
Girl I just got discarded by my narcissist after two years bec I didn't want to give him anymore money! It hurts because I gave so much but we have to take responsibility because the signs were there. Ask God to heal you and give you wisdom for your next relationship. Trust me, you will spot the next narcissist a mile away!
@@charmeika14 you're welcome honey. Them fools are everywhere too! Peopl are becoming more selfish and self serving everyday! We gotta protect ourselves!
Delessa Durham I was in a narcissistic relationship for 7 years I was thankful to God for truly showing me who “he “ really was. When I left. I was done. It took the law and restraining orders to get rid of him. Pray and rely on no contact because these people are relentless on not letting go, even when they leave you 😳
Damn y'all I'm going through it now wita woman after 5 yrs now WE ARE IN OUR 40s(SMMFH) and I feel for all of your stories!!!!she still doesn't get it!!!
Yes I have issues and it’s so bad that I sabotage a relationship I truly want.. I love this man so much that I’m hurting him by not communicating and just letting my guard down . Idk what to do but I’m so scared I’m gone lose him . I don’t want to.. this man is my safe , I makes me feel so good just scared .
I have had trust issues, because of a bad marriage I Devocied my Ex Dies .I meet someone who I meet thought that he was the one because we had been talking for 3 years he said that he loved me and I have his heart, but I told him It's one thing to Love someone but to be in Love. After that I didn't hear from him I realized he wasn't committed and that he was involved with someone else. I have to learn to heal and forgive I love myself I am enough
Hay Stephen I was raise up around loving people that make you feel love in the universe very important in they life and lift you up in life long they side as friend and if both of you want to take it from there to next level with trust as two people understanding love happiness fun most important of all insight you have for each other as one being.Renee Goadey
I have trust issues, and I really feel like I’m pushing my girlfriend away because of it. My dad left me when I was a baby, my mom died and when my mom died my family didn’t wanna take me and my brother in so we got put into foster care until I was 18. I’ve been in 2 relationships since my girlfriend I have now, and those 2 ended on bad terms, the first girl cheated and the other one got tired of me. I love my girlfriend that I have now, but now I always think she’s cheating on me or she will leave me. She always tells me it’s not true but I still continue to think it is in my mind. I really need help, I don’t wanna loose her because I truly love her, I don’t know why I struggle with trust issues and I just want them to go away so I can be happy and not loose the girl I am with. I truly need help and I truly want to change.
Trust issues ruined most of my relationships....even the genuine ones. I had trust issues due to my fearful - avoidant/ disorganised attachment style. But, I'm on my healing journey.❤
Yes. I’m in my late 50s. I’ve been alone most of my life, and I ruined a great relationship with a man when I was younger. For the first time, I feel like I’m truly getting my problem. And it’s hitting me hard. I had a terrible relationship with my both my parents. Thanks for the video
I have trust issues. Because of my last relationship. And most definitely because of my childhood. My mom has never been with a good man; except for one of recent who passed. My father abandoned me and cheated on my mother; in fact missed my birth while with another woman. My grandfather is a cheater. Most of the men in my family cheat. Most of the women in my family are broken from their past and have been cheated on. So the idea of finding someone who wouldn’t do that to me is bleak. I feel like I’m not worthy of a good man. But I’m waiting on God to decide that. I’m trying to better; I’m not perfect and understand trust issues is not great for relationships. I won’t be in one until this side of me is done away with or fixed in a healthy way. I don’t want to hurt someone good because of my own pain.
I just wrote this message earlier. Please read it and know you are not alone. Also, you are very strong to stay out of a relationship until you are healed. If I can go back in time, I would and work through my problems before entering into a relationship with my current boyfriend. I feel like I'm sabotaging our relationship. But I found a good man who has been working through my problems with me as best as he can. Thank you so much for sharing your message. Yes I have trust issues. It was a problem that occurred over and over again in my past 3 serious relationships. I had a wall up. I was on edge. And I looked for signed of cheating. The funny thing was, all of these guys were faithful. We'd get into fights. They would say they love and don't want to be with anyone else. They also said it was not fair for me to accuse them of cheating when it was not true and it was not fair. They were absolutely right. I had to really dig deep as to find the root cause of my mistrust. I believe it is rooted from my childhood. I grew up in a community where men lived a polygamous life style while women did not. As a child, I saw many different women came in and out of my home. What scared me the most was the day I saw my mother on one side of my father's arm and his side piece on the other side of his arm at the local county fair (in public!!!!). I guess I don't want to become like my parents. So I build up a wall. I'm on edge. And I look for signs of cheating. I do this because I believe it would somehow prevent infidelity. I don't want to live this way anymore. It's not fair to me or to the innocent men I've accused of cheating. I want to be able to be vulnerable one day. To not have a wall. To not be on edge. And to live a blissful life without worrying that my man will cheat on me. I don't know how to do this yet. I don't know where to look for help.
Betty Lee I think the one to know. Is that you ARENT your parents. And that you have the control to cast aside anyone who actually does mistreat you. Another thing is that; relationships are an essential risk. You risk getting your heart broken. You risk getting cheated on. You risk getting humiliated. It’s all about the boundaries you set for yourself and following through with them. I would start there. Look into boundaries and what’s important to you. It’s okay. This is your journey after all. edit: also, you can be with someone and fix your problems. If he’s given you no reason to act the way you are acting. Then stop. If you have bad thoughts and get insecure; go excersises and meditate as soon as those thoughts come. This is about you and you alone.He can’t hold your hand through this like a child. I know this sounds harsh but such honesty is essential. Stop pitying yourself and fix it. It’s hard. It takes everyday effort to change your mindset but it’s important so that you don’t commit self sabotage
Damn this comment is really everything 😣 it hit home for me 😔 im devastated by the betrayal and the lies. I have abandonment issues that definitely started at a young age when my father cheated on my mother and left us for another women. Since then I always felt the need to please everyone, to go above and beyond for them even when they wouldn’t walk a block for me. My happiness never mattered to me as long as they stood 😣
If you would’ve asked me this question 3 months ago, I would have said absolutely, I have trust issues because back then I had not gone through some key steps you offer in your work to begin the healing process. Today I ask myself if I have trust issues and the energy in my stomach feels differently in response to that question. I don’t feel the same static and resistance. I feel peaceful about emotional intimacy and trust. So in short, no, I don’t have trust issues.. not to say I’m perfect but I believe that aspect is resolved ☺️❤️ty
Very true trust issues is rough especially if you've been screwed over in your past. It's unfair to your present and it will destroy new relationships 😔
Yes I have trust issues. I am afraid of being hurt, even though I am aware of that being hurt is a way to grow, but I thing the main root of this come from my childhood. Something must have happened that made me feel less secure and have a lack of trust with people around me, especially with guys. I feel like people don’t appreciate my kindness and take advantage of it and that made me close up and keep things to myself and not open up about my feelings and problems. It takes time, a long long time for me to open up to somebody about something I feel is kinda personal that I’ve held onto for too long to be shared. Thank you for reminding me to “Trust God and not people” ❤️ this will help me heal and hopefully overcome my trust issues 🦋
I came across this video today, YES! I have trust issues, I even have a hard time trusting my own abilities. I grew up in a dysfunctional family with a narcissist mother, dated and chose narcissistic type people in my life cause that’s what I knew. Those people put doubt and lies in my head, so I have a hard time thinking that I can trust my own instincts and intuition and there are good people out there.
Yes i have been dealing with trust issues fora long time. I feel that when I go into something new i Amin a better space but when those red flags appear it sets me back to a place of oh no here we go again. I am so tired of feeling this way.
Human beings are imperfect. I would be a fool to put my 100% trust in another imperfect human. People are going to disappoint you sooner or later. I only 100% trust me and god because neither one will betray me
Omgosh yeah I have major trust issues and I can't seem to shake it. I had to edit my comment because as I was listening to you I was thinking that I don't think I know how to heal from anything in my life. So thank you for your book. I look forward to reading it. You are so helpful in so many ways and I can't thank you enough. Bless you and yours
Yes I do. A lot of people have taken my kindness for weakness. I do a lot for people and am very loyal to people but I never get the same. It seems good deeds never matter🤷🏽♀️
Hi Stephan, thanks for sharing this video with us. I would say I have trust issues. A part of me finds virtue in that, because I’m learning it is good to earn trust. But not knowing who in my circle who has my best interest as a human being, especially when money is involved, is very painful and distracting. It often makes me want to walk away from my own business at times. I’m still learning about what trust is and isn’t. The one thing that keeps returning to me is to trust God.
My issue is . When I read the Bible . The Lord said don’t trust man ( human ) but Him. I think I took that TOO literal and now … I’m just … idk anymore
Oh wow! I feel very similarly. I’m grateful I’m not the only one who feels that way but I would also like to be able to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Yes. I have and have for a long time. From an enmeshed relationship with a parent as a child to failed marriage of 22 years. Cheated on. What I have learned is that I haven’t been honest with myself or set standards or boundaries. A huge people pleaser. I continue to try to improve my relationship with myself. It’s a Journey
Mate I can 100% tell you that the man I love can trust me without a word of a doubt!!! I understand you are saying the only person you can trust is God also. But God created who we are and some of us can be 100% trustworthy. It's really disappointing to hear you say nobody can be trusted 100% because personally I don't feel this. Are you really saying YOU are not 100% trustworthy? I could never ever betray the man I love and as he's an avoidant I truly hope he may see that one day. You have helped me in ways you will probably never comprehend but thankyou! You have a beautiful kind soul. If you are ever in London hospitality awaits you my friend !! Much love to you, yours and everyone reading ❤️🌈xxx
❤️ Get your copy of "Love After Heartbreak" here 👉 www.loveafterheartbreak.com 👈
Jesus Christ is the truth reach out
As I see age learned that man in always llie tony of women face b ut I tell them on I see l by o nly trust God .
Yes I have because I have given my heart and I was cheated on
The last one should be first ❤😊
Yes I have trust issues because of what I endured
Yes, I’m always asking myself “is this my gut feeling or my trust issues??? “
Most of the time it’s my trust issues lol
Going through the same thing! Found a man that loves me and is understanding of my trust issues, works with me, and it can be really challenging to determine if I'm feeling my intuition or my trust issues sometimes even when he's done nothing wrong. I'm working to overcome my fears not only so that I can keep the love I deserve but also to give myself that inner peace. Letting go of the past is hard you have to forgive the person that hurt you and forgive yourself for choosing that person. If you don't, you can't enjoy the love you find after it.
Corey Steen yes you are completely right, forgiveness is a big part of it. I am so happy you found a good man!!! I’m pretty sure I did too! It’s still pretty early, 3 months in but he has treated me with so much respect and care always. I have many fears as well, my past abusive relationship made me afraid to even walk in a Walmart. But with time and therapy and a lot of crying I’ve over come a lot. It’s comforting to know we aren’t alone in this. I hope we both channel our inner peace and shine ❤️🥰🥰🥰
Makes sense that's deep
Yes 💯
@@sagebreeze your comment really resonated with me. And you’re right. I’ve been hurt so much that whenever I date someone new and the moment I start to catch any feeling I start to lose trust in them. I thought I had dealt with all my past heartbreaks but maybe I truly haven’t as much as I thought I did 😞
What’s helped me through having trust issues, is having a positive outlook on things. If my partner hasn’t given me a reason to doubt them I simply don’t.
Well said. 🔑💯💯
X
Preach! Everyone isn’t out to destroy us. I had to learn this lesson myself
That's unrealistic for many, if it was that easy there would not be so many people with this issue.
Yes that's true
I struggle trusting my lady, because of past relationships. I don't want to be paying her bills only for her to leave me for someone who has more money than I do. Recently I've decided that I'm gonna go all the way, and trust her completely, because I don't like doing things half way. I pray that this will all work out for our good.
I hope she is pulling her weight and paying her own bills! And I hope she stays loyal to you! It's scary I know!
@Donald Wayne Carroll Interesting hearing this from a man. Were you hurt in this relationship or past relationships? I've heard men say this before, but it's typically an excuse not to commit.
tara jones . The social programming is so evident in your reply.
@@DrWood1000 I don't understand what you mean. Please elaborate to help me get an understanding of your response. Thanks Donald
tara jones You stated that when men say they are hurt it is an excuse. How do you know it is an excuse in his case? Women cheat and hurt men just like men hurt women. Should we challenge women when they say they are hurt? Can we say it is Karma when a women gets hurt? Maybe she cheated and now it's her turn? In the black community this is common for women to minimize the feelings of men except for their sons. I think Donald deserves compassion and understanding not slight ridicule.
1) heal from your past…
2) be more open &transparent about your struggle.
3) trust God, not people.
✨💕♥️🙏🏼✨
We need to trust people
@@playmylistmusic521 even the ones that molest us?
Yes, I have trust issues. I did the exercise of writing down 1) Who hurt me? 2)What did they do? I am waiting for my book so, I can continue the process
@@playmylistmusic521
No way, Again
Hey stephan, every woman in my past has betrayed me. I'm on my 3rd wife. Wife 1 and 2 both cheated. I can't even go to my mom because she brings up anything I share with her when we get in an argument. I'm having difficulty trusting my now wife. NOT because ANYTHING she's done. I don't want my trust issues to ruin my relationship with her. She deserves a fair shake. It seems like a pit that I keep trying to climb out of.
Yes i would say I have trust issues. Because even after I let a person know the things I've experienced. They still turn around and do the same exact thing..
Same here and that's why one reason I don't put my heart out like that
Same here!
Deadass..women are fuckn horrible w doing this one.
I dont trust women..they leave for anything n u loved her...ez fix..stop loving n bein attached..jus like n not too much in case u needa leave her ass.
ANDRA CHAMBERS RIGHT
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him
His name is Fatherabulu, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked he up now online. impressive
I met this Asian woman online at the end of last month. We were planning a long term relationship. The chemistry we had was right there. We was real happy together. I'm like I had finally found the one. We were only together for two weeks and went out twice. We had good vibes. I'm like "Damn. God found the right lady for me". Our last time together was last Tuesday evening when we went out to dinner and I paid for it. Then the next morning it all changed. I woke up trying to text her good morning on messenger and she removed me on that and instagram. I was stabbed in the back, and blindsided with no explanation by somebody I was looking forward to be with for a long time. It hurt more than getting hit by a vehicle. I was a gent with a good pure heart.
I see u become a bad, bad person when u show your romantic and caring side. Now I'm telling myself to stop trusting right away and see if they earn. Trust is not given.
I don’t have trust issues, I’m just learning HOW to trust. As a child I was overprotected so I never dealt with anyone hurting me. As an adult I never knew how hurtful ppl can be. I trusted ppl when I first met them. Now I know never give BLIND TRUST. Trust has to be earned, a person has to be trustworthy first. So I can trust, I just have to know I can trust you. Then if they break my trust I just see your not trustworthy and keep it moving. Don’t trust anyone 100% either! Yes, easier said than done, but it can be done. The major KEY , Trust God not people!!!! Let God guide your heart and you can see what is right for you.
Yes!! This
I have trust issues big time. I'm so frustrated though, because I know they're false, I know it's time to change but my anxiety is so strong. The pain or fear is louder than the thoughts telling me otherwise.
Any improvement or advice?
@@willyoung859 lots of improvement! I left a stressful environment and a stressful relationship. Not to say I don't have any trust issues now, but my problems a year ago were very much perpetuated by the situations I was in. My stress tolerance is higher since things have changed so my mind doesn't feel cornered and therefore doesn't need to go to that place of being where it's second guessing people's motives and thinking the worst etc. I feel more relaxed to be curious about people rather than be defensive and maybe irrationally offensive with my language/attitude.
Hard to give advice, I feel like our trust issues come about for different reasons, causes etc. But for me, I'm very sensitive to my environment. And I was living with 3 terrible dogs, 2 cats and 3 other people and no one (the three people) were helping me with all this stress. I think me not trusting people was very much a product of the situation and the people I was with. Just getting out of that helped a lot. Maybe you have trust issues but maybe it's the people you're with that is making it worse. Something to consider?
Yea I think that’s what I’m going through
exactly!! exactly how i feel
Yes, a lot of my trust issues root back to my childhood with having a emotionally manipulative parent(s) then leaving them to realize the world was just as bad as them if not worse and not having anybody to confide in. I’m 25 now, and doing to work to heal so I can create better and healthier relationships. Thank you for the videos 💕
Yup idk how to call it but having mommy and daddy issues combined is soooo draining. How the ones that suppose to love you from day one break your heart and continue to break it. Yet we gotta trust a random person. It’s so hard
We’re literally twins wow down to the age, I’m 26 now though
@@AsToldByKeisha me too sis 🥰
Wow this hits home for me! 😌
how do you heal
So, here’s my thing, I don’t think I have trust issues, I think I struggle with forgiveness after someone breaks my trust. I genuinely give everyone the benefit of the doubt without skepticism, but once I’m deceived I have a habit of getting rid of the person. I’m working on it.
Chantay M exactly the same way for me.
Joshua Williams so do you feel like you’re working on it? Or it’s not necessarily a problem?
Me exactly!
What's wrong with getting rid of the person though? Forgiveness doesn't mean keeping them around or in your life. It means forgiving yourself for choosing the wrong person to trust.
I have the exact same habit. I know this is a year later but this comment resonated with me.
I don't have trust issues. I learned a long time ago to trust GOD, not people.
Sorry to say, you have Trust issues.
@@Michelle-ke7me The Bible says trust GOD. Putting trust in people is what causes unnecessary pain which you eventually have to heal from. Have a blessed day.
@@lisajones-franklin3574 Yes, always trust God. As far as trusting people..... Trust yourself that You can make the right decision or not,(life is a learning lesson) however you will recover. I'm Not saying open yourself and trust everybody without thinking. What I know to be true, trust is more about You then the other person. Doesn't mean you won't encounter trustworthy people, it means You have the power to recover. As humans we are here to be with others,(not alone) Some people didn't get the memo and try to hurt us or break our trust. When you have a personal relationship with God, trust in him that he will help you with all this. You too have a blessed day.
The Bible says Trust GOD. I could not find a scripture anywhere that says Trust people. That does not mean that you have to be alone or that you can't have a healthy relationship with people. The Bible does not say don't have a healthy relationship with people. It says trust GOD. At the end of the day you get to define what you consider a trust issue for yourself and you cannot decide whether a person has a trust issue because they choose to trust GOD, not people.
@@lisajones-franklin3574 Wow!! I see that your not understanding what I stated.
It's not an attack on you or anyone else that reads it. We are on the same page as far as God is concerned. To me, God is in everything I do. If you reread my statement, I didn't say much about trusting people. Trust is about trusting yourself.
Of course only you can really say how much you trust or not. My comment was just that, a comment.
You have God in your life, in my opinion; you are doing Great.
Trust yourself that you can trust if someone does hurt you that you can recover. Trust in that and with God, you are good.
I use to have trust issues, until I healed....I would highly recommend his book, "Love after heartbreak ". I had trust issues that stem from my father leaving me and my mother when I was 9 and then having to move in with alcoholic grandparents that caused so much pain and trauma, but once I healed....I don't have any hard feelings against my father and grandfather, but don't condone what they did. I try to see the good in everyone that I meet.
Yes. I have trust issues in relationships. I’ve been cheated on sooo many times and now it’s a huge fear of mine. I’ve pushed away people I’ve loved because of it 😔
You are not alone I also get betray many times and people around get get or betrayed each other I hate that I am faithful person I came across the vedio and searching cause I wanna cope up from my trust issues I move on from my ex and things but I build trust issue and insecurity that's what I am trying to cope up
You’re not alone in feeling that way 🥺
Same with me 🥺
At the end of last month talked to somebody online. She was real cool. We met three days later after work for a snack. The chemistry we had was right there. Then I helped her get home when it was dark. We only went out twice. We met again a week later which was last Tuesday for dinner and I paid for it. We was vibing real good. We texted to make sure we got home safe. She then texted me goodnight which was the last time she ever texted me. Wednesday morning it all had changed. I woke up to say goodmorning to her, finding out she had cut me off everywhere from my number to messenger to Instagram and no explanation. I got blindsided. I thought she was gonna be the one long term. I been in this situation a few times. She was the coolest one I thought we was gonna make it happen long term. I guess I trusted her too quick and never got to learn more about her. I gotta say that was a wasted opportunity for two weeks. Gotta learn a lot about people before trusting.
Yes, I struggle everyday with trust issues
Then it's time to work on that every day! Pray that God shows you how to trust people.
Toni Fleming trust issues are real! Once we are aware of our issues, then the healing can begin
Yes I do
May you find peace and healing
Yes i have trust issues with my guy .But i would like to ask , if it's important to to tell your partner why doesn't he ask if you trust him or not?
God is the only one we know for certain who won't let us down
Don't trust People trust God
Ask him for his guidance
People are in your life for a reason season or lifetime you just have to desern which one it is
Amen! Truth!
amen
Amen
Amen ❤
Yes I have trust issues, because I have been hurt in the past where guys tell me they will be there for me and end up cheating on me. So now I guard my heart, and when a man tells me anything I don't believe them and my defenses goes up.
Yes I have trust issues. My girlfriend was chatting with some dude late at night for some days now and she lied about it. Just so you will know that I don't trust her anymore.
Being on defense and not believing someone is not guarding your heart. If you always have the walls up how are you going to allow love in?
How will you grow WITHOUT taking RISKS? how? To trust people trust God. He will show you signs
Man I don't blame you I understand
Same i have some serious trust issues
Came to this video in 2021 after an unfaithful girlfriend and it helped so much, back to the video again during a great relationship. These issues never really leave
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
Yes, i struggle with trust issues everyday and it hurts so much. Just him being out of my sight... ( might i add .. he smokes alot) i dont trust it. I am so damaged .. my thoughts hurt me.
Hey girl! Gosh that sucks!!! Get with the Lord though so you can learn to trust Him and not people. People will always let us down one way or another BUT we can’t focus on the “what-ifs” we gotta focus on God to guide us and help us in our relationships ya know. My bf is a fulltime photographer and i trust him all day long and day and week...until some young-single woman books a shoot with him!! It sucks the things that go thru my head. My thoughts hurt me as well & i dont even really think he’ll cheat on me but its the fact i just dont want him around women so closely but thats his career & he’s amazing at what he does. But i start fights about “what-ifs” when he goes out his way to try and make me feel comfortable. It sucks but as of TODAY it changes!! I fully trust GOD!! I give God my worries and fears cause if i worry about it i’ll fail. So stay focused on yourself & loving your man okay? If something happens behind your back, know that God will direct you away from him and/or deal with that with him.
@@ItsBrittany. I’m glad I’m not alone . This is so me ... thanks for sharing
Girl, same. Worst part of it is that he always finds a reason to lie to me about everything 💔
@@tanakamauyakufa3189 but the thing is do u really know if they lies or just ur thoughts 💭 uggghh the world will never know
I so identify with this. It builds up in my head and I feel so much hurt and everything that person is ever done wrong to me plays on repeat 😞 but I keep thinking if I get to fix this and learn how to forgive I would improve myself and my quality of life so much more. I hope you feel better love ❤️ you deserve to. Remember you got infinite amounts of love that don’t loose value bc others can’t recognize that and you don’t loose that love and value for giving it to someone you considered valuable at the time bc in that moment you made your choice with the knowledge and emotions you had and you thought correct. You were worth millions before and you are worth millions after and you will continue to be worth millions no matter what no matter who happens.
We can heal from trust issues when we take time to break from dating. Everyone isn’t like the people from our past. People are different. Give people a clean slate to trust first until they show otherwise
Trust issues will always come up when you have expectations on someone. It’s saying “I expect you to protect me and make me happy “ when that’s not their responsibility. I definitely have trust issues but I’ve learned to realize them and what triggers me. Still making mistakes but learning along the way. I’ve realized no one can make me happy except me so I’ve stopped expecting anyone to live up to that obligation. They are officially off the hook. I now look to heal and service my own heart through God. Can’t go wrong when you give your all to yourself. Self Love ❤️
You are very strong, brave and have courage. It's difficult for people who find joy in pleasing other people to switch their mindset to do what you do. I hope one day I can walk in your footsteps.
This is very true but its easier said then done when these issued have been rooted in you since you were born. And at the end of the day who wants to live life like that with no reassurance or support from anyone else other than yourself. Some people are self sufficient but most of us need the love and support from others minus the lies and the betrayal thats all we ask a little honesty and loyalty.
💯
Generally, no issues trusting. I trust first until you give me a reason not to. It doesn't always work out but it works for me.
Wow !!!! Literally typed in “how to deal with trust issues” in the search engine. Your 3rd point is literally steps 1-3 for me personally. Asking GODDDDD first if he wants me dealing with someone in the first place. That’s it right there !!!!
Summary of the video :-
1. You need to heal from your past first
2. Start to open and transparent about your struggle
3. Learn to trust God more than human beings
It is always better to watch the entire video 💐
Yes I have trust issues trusting people because everyone I know and met have betrayed my kindness to them. However am not angry anymore. But I am skeptical with making new friends and dating any new man.🙅♀️💘🙏👏📖
As a woman, it's easy to fall into the trap of being 'too nice'. A lot of times we have to first identify what we might be doing wrong before expecting others to treat us a certain way.
Not being angry is key! Carrying around anger is a heavy load
Same
I have trust issues, but I think the issue started from my father not being there! Then years of family, and friends letting me down. So, now I don’t trust people. Years ago it was worst than it is today. Yet and still I believe in change.
Same lack of trust stems from abandonment issues. It’s a lot more complicated than just a betrayal. It’s a way to get past it with God ,prayer, and time.
I am the living proof of this topic, I can't find my way to trust anyone again
Disappointment is likely the biggest cause of the trust issues I have experienced. Learning to heal and not camp at the place of hurt. Been a journey, but when I look back, I see how far I've come, how much better I feel, how happier and more understanding of others I have become. I am living my best life yet, and better yet is on the way. God is faithful to heal. Thank you for your videos.
I suspected my wife of husband on me but! never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a PI/Hacker and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife's phones Text messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, if you need help you can contact him through Instagram *TROYSAM001* infidelity hurts
Yes I have trust issues! I was in a narcissistic relationship that was emotionally damaging.
Man it feels like everyone ive ever loved has done me wrong, and now that I got this girl that might actually be doing me right I cant trust her for nothing damn, ive always shared my experiences and still got done wrong, leading me to think no woman is loyal and maybe its just me or smth, thanks for the video guys wish me the best of luck i really dont know what to do anymore
this one is it for me.
I feel the same about ex partners, family and friends all of them did me down right dirty.
Yes I have trust issues. I have been betrayed a lot
@top sam No one should ever do this shit.
I most definitely do not have trust issues and that is my biggest issue. I don’t have a healthy balance of knowing when to trust and knowing when to guard my heart. It’s something that I’m currently working on.
Trust PRINCIPLES. They will never leave you hanging
I trust too much!
I'm sick of coaches pushing their products. I'm here for your help.
This was really good bro, especially when you mentioned trusting God and that He uses every situation for growth and His glory. That hit me like a truck as i was scrolling through the comments. 🙏🏽
I love the part that God uses every situation for growth, that was very very powerful 🙏
I do have trust issues. I have been hurt and betrayed by friends, family, and men I "thought" loved me. I also recognize that I can't make others pay for what someone else has done. So, I have taken the necessary steps towards healing.
Trust yourself and your value Step 1
Stop accepting the BS and call it out. Step 2
Give yourself permission to Love on yourself so others will be drawn to that and respect that self love. Step 3
Or be gone!
No. Everyone gets a clean slate. Its up to them on how we proceed. My trust is in God..
A Chambers I agree with this statement
Exactly
I love this quote ❤️
Yes I have trust issues from being cheated on and lied to in relationships, and from being betrayed by people in my past.
Yes. My whole life my household never had a safe place for love & comfort so I always looked that into my friends but through the courses of growing up I’ve witnessed back stabbing, two facing & lies which has now made me feel like i need to look out for everyone now. I’m currently in a 2 year relationship with my girl & time to time I jump & have episodes about not trusting her. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me, everything seems to good to be true. I never had any feeling of genuine love from someone like her but I’m hurting her. I’m putting doubt on how she feels for me & I don’t know where to start on fixing it.
Start my talking to her about it! Open honest Communication goes a long way. Help her understand you so she can help you trust.
This man is awesome. I really enjoy how he says consult with GOD first before making any decisions and he says that in all his videos.I have brought three books, which were amazing!! Thank you for the message.
Yes, I've had experiences that scarred me in ways that made it hard to trust again, and I've read your book as well as many others on this topic. Over time I have learned that everyone is different, and it's important to be able to see new relationships through new eyes. As you mentioned it is important to heal before trying to date again. I personally like to take at least a year off from dating whenever I do have a relationship that ends badly enough that I need more time to heal and process everything before I can move forward in a positive direction again. A new person should not have to pay for the mistakes of someone from your past. That saying that "hurt people hurt people" isn't acceptable anymore, because "healed people heal people".
Wish u Good luck ✨🙋🏻♀️in ur life
HELLO STEPHAN,AND YES INDEED I HAVE EXTREME TRUST ISSUES. IVE SEEN AND EXPERIENCED SO MUCH THAT ANXIETY ARE WEARING HEELS!!!! IM TO THE POINT TRULY WHEREAS I JUST DONT HAVE FAITH IN LOVE ANYMORE!! I REALLY WANT TO,BUT I JUST DONT!!!
This was very powerful as I have had trust issues since I was a child do to multiple issues. My dad was an alcoholic and I was miss treated sexually by family members as well as being bullied at school. I have since grown and matured and learned to love myself however failing at multiple relationships including friends lovers and family. I feel this will be a struggle for the rest of my life because of all the damage I have endured. Now that I am over half century old… I am truly learning how to be in successful relationships. I do thank you for your time and your laughter during your videos.
Thankyou for this.
I am finding God and talking to God more.
I have been bullied all my life and something happened the other day with someone new in my life beinging jealous of my bubbly personality and yet again I was taken down.
I have been praying alot since talking to God about this.
Thankyou
I do, I second question/guess everyone’s moves and motives. At this point, im in a good relationship and I want it to work, in order for this, I need to sort out my own trust issues before it continues to jeopardise my relationships, platonic or not ❤️
I'm struggling to trust my partner because I grew up with a cheating dad and my partner made mistakes before.
I feel like I have no trust for anyone anymore. I’ve been lied to, betrayed, dealt with negative people, and learning about narcissistic ppl and then being close to me.
I am afraid to trusting people I’ve already lost trust in . I take it personal and then I get stuck. I believe I do my best in not steal peoples properties and not act shady. Thank you, you marked realized that no one is perfect including me.
Glad I could help 🙏
I have trust issues because I'm so honest about my feelings and when I'm honest people take advantage.
Yes, I do been cheated on in a past relationship and people took advantage of my kindness
YES I DO. Every female I ever been with us broken my heart or used me and betrayed me.
Yes I do. That's a personal issue I struggle to get past because of my insecurities.
I agree, trust God and God will protect you from untrustworthy people.
20 videos on this subject until I found you and you were the first person to mention trust in God. Thank you that gets you a subscribe from me. ♡
Welcome aboard and don't forget to click on the notification bell to be notified whenever I release a new video ❤ 🙏
After my ex always cheating and hurting me I haven't been able to fully trust my new man🥺 and I really want to cause he treats me so well i just cant get used to it
I do no longer have trust issues I let it all on god 🙏🏼 thank you so much for this video
I do, it’s always a gut feeling and usually they’re right. I find out they were cheating so I think that’s what it has always stayed into my mind. Plus this new century, people make cheating as a trend. Therefore I see a lot of infidelity and every female just exposing themselves and that sometimes make me feel insecure.
Damn sir, you got me crying when you said to trust God. I haven't thought about God in awhile. I have been so into my daily life. I couldn't cry the emotions out and today when I heard your video about trusting God, I finally cried.
Love the video and yes I have / had trust issues. Months ago I just gave it all to God and handed it over. That was the best thing I could do. Praying for healing strength and guidance and it’s been an amazing journey and experience. I can see Gods hand in everything what’s happening.
6:43 - 7:00 This is such a great video. Stephan, your passion for seeing lives changed really shines through in this clip. You are a great example of what you teach. Thank you for your transparency.
I have been betrayed twice. I still struggle with it even though I do everything that I could. I have forgiven them but my instincts tell me to apply what I learned. Right now I can only conclude that the only way to heal is to not experience it in the first place.
Yes my bro... I do have trust issues and I want freedom from them. This makes total sense and I get what you are saying 100% I have a fight or flight problem (mainly flight) in relationships and it's because I have had many women who have cheated on me. My current Girlfriend who I genuinely believe is from the Lord gets upset when I question about certain facebook posts that trigger me (even if I do it nicely just to express my concern or feelings) I'm really working on this and I just want to surrender it to God
Genuinely realizing I still have trust issues and not thinking the worst when something happens in fear of being cheated on...
Thank You! First for giving the inclination to forgive ourselves…for loosing trust and not knowing who to trust-next, appreciate your words to trust God. 🙏🏽💜
Trust and fear are my biggest obstacles. I’ve consistently dealt with abuse and abandonment for the past 20 years and now that I’m in the first healthy relationship of my life, I’m desperate to overcome these negative features in my life so as not to damage the beautiful union I’ve found now with my new partner.
I am in the same boat. Its hard but i think its to never give up. Cause learning how to trust in a healthy way isnt easy. Wish i knew better in the past.
If you’re familiar with Erickson’s theory on development, you will understand when I say that I developed trust issues from infancy. Those experiences were solidified in childhood while searching for affirmation from the adult women in my life. On another note: I’m very grateful for you and your work. Thank You 🙏🏽
After a 3 year relationship with a narrissist relationship. I didn't have trust issues til dealing with the covert narrissist.
How do u gain trust after the hurt and betrayal of dealing with the narrissist.
Girl I just got discarded by my narcissist after two years bec I didn't want to give him anymore money! It hurts because I gave so much but we have to take responsibility because the signs were there. Ask God to heal you and give you wisdom for your next relationship. Trust me, you will spot the next narcissist a mile away!
@@michelet3857 thanks...i needed to see this
@@charmeika14 you're welcome honey. Them fools are everywhere too! Peopl are becoming more selfish and self serving everyday! We gotta protect ourselves!
Delessa Durham
I was in a narcissistic relationship for 7 years
I was thankful to God for truly showing me who “he “
really was. When I left. I was done. It took the law and restraining orders to get rid of him.
Pray and rely on no contact because these people are relentless on not letting go, even when they leave you 😳
Damn y'all I'm going through it now wita woman after 5 yrs now WE ARE IN OUR 40s(SMMFH) and I feel for all of your stories!!!!she still doesn't get it!!!
So glad this one popped up.. Grest info as always.
Yes I have issues and it’s so bad that I sabotage a relationship I truly want.. I love this man so much that I’m hurting him by not communicating and just letting my guard down . Idk what to do but I’m so scared I’m gone lose him . I don’t want to.. this man is my safe , I makes me feel so good just scared .
I have had trust issues, because of a bad marriage I Devocied my Ex Dies .I meet someone who I meet thought that he was the one because we had been talking for 3 years he said that he loved me and I have his heart, but I told him It's one thing to Love someone but to be in Love. After that I didn't hear from him I realized he wasn't committed and that he was involved with someone else. I have to learn to heal and forgive I love myself I am enough
Hay Stephen I was raise up around loving people that make you feel love in the universe very important in they life and lift you up in life long they side as friend and if both of you want to take it from there to next level with trust as two people understanding love happiness fun most important of all insight you have for each other as one being.Renee Goadey
I have trust issues, and I really feel like I’m pushing my girlfriend away because of it. My dad left me when I was a baby, my mom died and when my mom died my family didn’t wanna take me and my brother in so we got put into foster care until I was 18. I’ve been in 2 relationships since my girlfriend I have now, and those 2 ended on bad terms, the first girl cheated and the other one got tired of me. I love my girlfriend that I have now, but now I always think she’s cheating on me or she will leave me. She always tells me it’s not true but I still continue to think it is in my mind. I really need help, I don’t wanna loose her because I truly love her, I don’t know why I struggle with trust issues and I just want them to go away so I can be happy and not loose the girl I am with. I truly need help and I truly want to change.
Yes I have had trust issues. When you put a man before God, they hurt you. We are human, we tend to fall sometimes.
Trust issues ruined most of my relationships....even the genuine ones. I had trust issues due to my fearful - avoidant/ disorganised attachment style. But, I'm on my healing journey.❤
Yes. I’m in my late 50s. I’ve been alone most of my life, and I ruined a great relationship with a man when I was younger. For the first time, I feel like I’m truly getting my problem. And it’s hitting me hard.
I had a terrible relationship with my both my parents. Thanks for the video
I feel you.
I have trust issues. Because of my last relationship. And most definitely because of my childhood. My mom has never been with a good man; except for one of recent who passed. My father abandoned me and cheated on my mother; in fact missed my birth while with another woman. My grandfather is a cheater. Most of the men in my family cheat. Most of the women in my family are broken from their past and have been cheated on.
So the idea of finding someone who wouldn’t do that to me is bleak. I feel like I’m not worthy of a good man. But I’m waiting on God to decide that. I’m trying to better; I’m not perfect and understand trust issues is not great for relationships. I won’t be in one until this side of me is done away with or fixed in a healthy way. I don’t want to hurt someone good because of my own pain.
Faith..this is so me..I'm going through that now..I've pushed someone away
Hello🙏🏾
I just wrote this message earlier. Please read it and know you are not alone. Also, you are very strong to stay out of a relationship until you are healed. If I can go back in time, I would and work through my problems before entering into a relationship with my current boyfriend. I feel like I'm sabotaging our relationship. But I found a good man who has been working through my problems with me as best as he can.
Thank you so much for sharing your message. Yes I have trust issues. It was a problem that occurred over and over again in my past 3 serious relationships. I had a wall up. I was on edge. And I looked for signed of cheating. The funny thing was, all of these guys were faithful. We'd get into fights. They would say they love and don't want to be with anyone else. They also said it was not fair for me to accuse them of cheating when it was not true and it was not fair. They were absolutely right. I had to really dig deep as to find the root cause of my mistrust. I believe it is rooted from my childhood. I grew up in a community where men lived a polygamous life style while women did not. As a child, I saw many different women came in and out of my home. What scared me the most was the day I saw my mother on one side of my father's arm and his side piece on the other side of his arm at the local county fair (in public!!!!). I guess I don't want to become like my parents. So I build up a wall. I'm on edge. And I look for signs of cheating. I do this because I believe it would somehow prevent infidelity. I don't want to live this way anymore. It's not fair to me or to the innocent men I've accused of cheating. I want to be able to be vulnerable one day. To not have a wall. To not be on edge. And to live a blissful life without worrying that my man will cheat on me. I don't know how to do this yet. I don't know where to look for help.
Betty Lee I think the one to know. Is that you ARENT your parents. And that you have the control to cast aside anyone who actually does mistreat you. Another thing is that; relationships are an essential risk. You risk getting your heart broken. You risk getting cheated on. You risk getting humiliated. It’s all about the boundaries you set for yourself and following through with them. I would start there. Look into boundaries and what’s important to you. It’s okay. This is your journey after all.
edit: also, you can be with someone and fix your problems. If he’s given you no reason to act the way you are acting. Then stop. If you have bad thoughts and get insecure; go excersises and meditate as soon as those thoughts come. This is about you and you alone.He can’t hold your hand through this like a child. I know this sounds harsh but such honesty is essential. Stop pitying yourself and fix it. It’s hard. It takes everyday effort to change your mindset but it’s important so that you don’t commit self sabotage
Damn this comment is really everything 😣 it hit home for me 😔 im devastated by the betrayal and the lies. I have abandonment issues that definitely started at a young age when my father cheated on my mother and left us for another women. Since then I always felt the need to please everyone, to go above and beyond for them even when they wouldn’t walk a block for me. My happiness never mattered to me as long as they stood 😣
If you would’ve asked me this question 3 months ago, I would have said absolutely, I have trust issues because back then I had not gone through some key steps you offer in your work to begin the healing process.
Today I ask myself if I have trust issues and the energy in my stomach feels differently in response to that question. I don’t feel the same static and resistance. I feel peaceful about emotional intimacy and trust.
So in short, no, I don’t have trust issues.. not to say I’m perfect but I believe that aspect is resolved ☺️❤️ty
Very true trust issues is rough especially if you've been screwed over in your past. It's unfair to your present and it will destroy new relationships 😔
Yes I have trust issues. I am afraid of being hurt, even though I am aware of that being hurt is a way to grow, but I thing the main root of this come from my childhood. Something must have happened that made me feel less secure and have a lack of trust with people around me, especially with guys. I feel like people don’t appreciate my kindness and take advantage of it and that made me close up and keep things to myself and not open up about my feelings and problems. It takes time, a long long time for me to open up to somebody about something I feel is kinda personal that I’ve held onto for too long to be shared.
Thank you for reminding me to “Trust God and not people” ❤️ this will help me heal and hopefully overcome my trust issues 🦋
I came across this video today, YES! I have trust issues, I even have a hard time trusting my own abilities. I grew up in a dysfunctional family with a narcissist mother, dated and chose narcissistic type people in my life cause that’s what I knew. Those people put doubt and lies in my head, so I have a hard time thinking that I can trust my own instincts and intuition and there are good people out there.
Thank you, Stephan for the sound advice.
They’re gonna think twice about hurting me? More like, they’ll think twice about being completely honest...
Yes i have been dealing with trust issues fora long time. I feel that when I go into something new i Amin a better space but when those red flags appear it sets me back to a place of oh no here we go again. I am so tired of feeling this way.
I totally get it just had this convo with the guy I’m seeing now . And he’s gone above and beyond but once I see something familiar 💥 boom 🤯
❤❤❤TRUST GOD NOT PEOPLE❤❤❤ That sentence alone is all I needed. Thank u so much.
Human beings are imperfect. I would be a fool to put my 100% trust in another imperfect human. People are going to disappoint you sooner or later. I only 100% trust me and god because neither one will betray me
My gf told me she ends it if i aint trust her... now im here
Did u guys stay together?
You good bro?
I'm at the point where I'm relying on money as my only happiness
The Benjamin’s never let me down
Yes, i do and I'm ready to get help because every time do wrong things it brings all bad memories back
Omgosh yeah I have major trust issues and I can't seem to shake it.
I had to edit my comment because as I was listening to you I was thinking that I don't think I know how to heal from anything in my life.
So thank you for your book. I look forward to reading it. You are so helpful in so many ways and I can't thank you enough. Bless you and yours
Such good timing ❤️💜thank you!
Sometimes I don't even trust myself
Same 💔
I have extreme trust issues.
Yes I have trust issues to experiencing abandonment, neglect, ghosting ,betrayal
Yes I do. A lot of people have taken my kindness for weakness. I do a lot for people and am very loyal to people but I never get the same. It seems good deeds never matter🤷🏽♀️
Hi Stephan, thanks for sharing this video with us. I would say I have trust issues. A part of me finds virtue in that, because I’m learning it is good to earn trust. But not knowing who in my circle who has my best interest as a human being, especially when money is involved, is very painful and distracting. It often makes me want to walk away from my own business at times. I’m still learning about what trust is and isn’t. The one thing that keeps returning to me is to trust God.
My issue is . When I read the Bible . The Lord said don’t trust man ( human ) but Him. I think I took that TOO literal and now … I’m just … idk anymore
Oh wow! I feel very similarly. I’m grateful I’m not the only one who feels that way but I would also like to be able to give people the benefit of the doubt.
@@MariaGomez-g6z man same ! And then if I do I feel guilty a bit like girl you know God said every human is a liar lol
Coach you're AWESOME....lets get married😊
Leranda Brewer 😆I love your courage ❤️hope he says yes
For real he can get it. Lol 😁😜😉
Its his heart that makes me swoon😍
🤣 I think we all want to marry him. Don’t trust us in the comments
Yes. I have and have for a long time. From an enmeshed relationship with a parent as a child to failed marriage of 22 years. Cheated on. What I have learned is that I haven’t been honest with myself or set standards or boundaries. A huge people pleaser. I continue to try to improve my relationship with myself. It’s a Journey
Mate I can 100% tell you that the man I love can trust me without a word of a doubt!!! I understand you are saying the only person you can trust is God also. But God created who we are and some of us can be 100% trustworthy. It's really disappointing to hear you say nobody can be trusted 100% because personally I don't feel this. Are you really saying YOU are not 100% trustworthy? I could never ever betray the man I love and as he's an avoidant I truly hope he may see that one day.
You have helped me in ways you will probably never comprehend but thankyou! You have a beautiful kind soul. If you are ever in London hospitality awaits you my friend !! Much love to you, yours and everyone reading ❤️🌈xxx