I turned 39 this year, and I'm realizing how lucky people are to have at least a good friend or two by their side. I currently have ZERO and it may have to do with me turning more to an introvert and homebody. Most times I just want to do my own thing and not be bothered. I do feel like there are lots of people out there that feel the way I do and we are a group of loners lol. I don't need to be with like-minded people but it sure helps to bond a bit more. Anyway, I have anime's and k-dramas that entertain me and keep me distracted. I wish I had a friendship bond like BTS has, they truly do love each other and there's nothing fake in their bonds.
just like you said there are so many loners who are all saying that they are lonely but for some reason we cannot connect :( don’t know if it’s the problem of the modern society… Most of the times I’m ok but there are just few moments when I really need someone to talk to
People in my circle don't understand how I can go eat, take in a movie, or go to the museum by myself. I guess they haven't have the experiences I have had. Going with someone can be worse than alone.
@@cathyardon956 there was a time I used to go everywhere alone especially the movie theaters and girls in school would make fun of me for that but I don’t care because it‘s often times better to be alone than with shitty people
Really thoughtful. I kinda feel like all your bed talks would make a really good mini book with cute illustrations per bed talk - different little stories within the book :) I would read ☺️😁
Add some recipes 😋 or even suggestions as to drinks like specialty teas or other calming drinks to consume before bed. Maybe it could be a product tie-in? I wouldn't mind so much as I know you research them and if it came bundled with the book??? Pretty cool! A book, tea cup and teas.
As an introvert it’s really difficult for me to start a conversation which left me with only a few close friends. And sometimes even those friends seem like they aren’t really interested in me being their friend. Not that they ignore me on purpose or their behaviour is different towards me It's just that I feel left out even when I'm in the group. Nevermind.:)
I realize it’s also important for us to open up and take a step for our friends to open up and take a step. maybe your close friends felt that barrier like my friends did?!
I have a feeling maybe you’re different people who make an effort to meet half way. I find that admirable. But maybe you haven’t found out each other’s strengths and quirks to balance each other out. A lot of people love to speak and have attention, I cannot stand when “democracy” is something you need to fight for. Sorry for my analysis I’m just trying to see if our experiences are similar
As you get older, you get wiser. These are life experiences and we learn from them. We learn who are your true friends when you are going through something, they show up for you. Glad you you are finding your way!
@@ThizisDanny it took me awhile to see who are my true friends…Real friends are very forgiving & will be there for u no matter the situation. They will be there. I think you have good judgment & know who are your real friends. Congrats on your new business venture! 🙏🏼
Having been divorced by my wife at 69 , living in a different zone with no family, loneliness not being alone .?. presents a real nightmare. As you no longer fit in nightclub, or music venues like you use to and seldom do strangers talk to you. Then you become even more depressed and isolated ...Live for today while you are young with a your peer group you miss them later when friends are nolonger there..Thanks for honest and interesting videos Dan.😎
That's so true as I'm a shy girl until you get to know me or if we have things in common I'm quite talkative (especially when it comes to bts) but then again I find it super hard making friends otherwise
I deeply relate to this. When we're young we somehow were conditioned (by society/family/tv/etc) to believe that the only way to do well is to make connections. But making those connections were really costly and exhausting. I ended up losing some of my friends and myself along the process. The stress it brought me made me physically ill and I spent a lot of time after each outing trying to gather my sanity (by sleeping or just hiding in my room and disconnecting from the world). One of my really good friend didn't give up on me she managed to get a hold of me to tell me that we haven't seen each other for a long time and that she missed me. That was my turning point where I started to evaluate my choices and path. It was then that I remembered the saying my grandfather used to say to me 'if you can have 1 confident in your lifetime then you've been lucky'. We are still really good friends but our lives have taken different turns but we make an effort to see each other to catch up and to 'keep it real'. Love this bedtalk and looking forward to your next video.
Thank you for sharing. I've had similar thoughts. I used to have a lot of "friends". It was great for going out to clubs and parties. However, when I had problems or needed advice, they weren't there for me even though I would always listen to them. I went through a lot of heartache because of that. Now, I have only have a couple of friends and they are worth more than all of those others put together. I guess it is a learning process we all have to go through.
They way you describe things talking about things thoughts and feelings are so beautifully done .Have you ever considered to write a book with the title bedtime talk.It would be fascinating. I would love to read your bedtime stories even when I enjoy them so much with the way you tell them the tone and colour in your voice .So soothing and soft spoken. I love those. Lots of love from Greece Dan ❤❤❤
Maybe one day I can put all the talks together when it reaches ep.100 or sth and make a special edition for you guys ( might have to polish up the words and grammar a little haha)
In general, making friends is not just a matter of how many friends you have. Especially in this modern era, where people are busy with their own activities. what is more important is how you maintain the quality of your friendship so that you can become a true friend. Always supportive, positive and trustworthy. So the point is to have few friends but quality ones..that's enough.😊
The only faithfull friend who stays most then anybody is your partner. Because people after get married , neglect and distant theyrself from friends. But go even closest to the partner. Even If you would brake up some day with partner, the ordinary friend is the one who would leave you first to get her/his own life path
It's very hard to make friends and to be honest it's also hard to trust too I had a friend we had a true friendship for a long time but our friendship was more like a biological family she is deceased now. You also have to be careful too who you become friends with. I try to be careful because when one is grieving you can become very vulnerable too. But I do take a chance on getting to know a person so I can relate to what you're saying Dan and I enjoy cooking too
Danny you are a sweet soul with a heart of gold. It’s not easier sharing these thoughts with people you don’t know but I guess at the same time, it’s healing for you to acknowledge these thoughts and what better way to share it…with ppl who support you from afar. People in our lives come and go, some are here for a purpose…some fill in the time. As time goes by you will work out who belongs where. Trying to please everyone is impossible. I have old friends who I see maybe once in a blue moon but every time we meet, our friendship is the same as it ever was. We understand everyone is busy with life…they are the true friends. I’m glad you are in a better place now, it’s all a learning experience. You figure it out as you go and grow… for me, a handful of true friends is much better than a tonne of pointless ones. If you ever feel like there’s no one to turn to….your danscribers are here for you. 🤗
I know it’s weird but sometimes it’s much easier and comforting to tell you guys here and tell my friends or a phone call! I guess that’s probably why I go live when I feel down and to know that a lot of people who supports me share the same thoughts and hardships with me gives me some comfort! Thank you :) I’m here for you guys too
I've had a similar experience as I've gotten older -- my level of trust with any given person is probably about 40%, if that. With my best friend it's maybe 85%. With my boyfriend it's close to 100%, and that has been a very, VERY miraculous occurrence. I used to be open with people, but in a pretty superficial way. You know, willing to share my gripes or whatever -- but never anything too deep or personal. To be honest tho, at that time, I wasn't even aware of most of those deep, personal feelings myself. It's taken a lot of solitary years for me to get in touch with my inner workings. I started therapy recently and it's uncovered a mass of tangled trauma I never really knew I had -- although I had my suspicions. I've gotten a little off topic, maybe. I just wanted to say, the way you're feeling (I think) is normal for people our age (30s or late 20s-ish). I think... it's not as if it's harder to make "friends", but our tolerance for shallow and meaningless interaction is just less. Because that's not what we crave. We crave real connection by now. We aren't kids anymore, and our emotions aren't childish. They're complex, and so the relationships we long for are also complex. I hope you find someone to connect with, truly. It's so lonely being alone all the time.
I am an introvert. I listened to your bedtalk and thought to myself that is the exact reasons why I don't believe in having a lot of friends. I am someone that a friend or two works perfectly well. Thanks for the candid talk.
The best thing I learned yet about friendships was that every human being is selfish, it's as natural as having 2 hands. Don't expect anything from them and prioritize yourself no matter what! 💪
This is something i relate so much to because when i was younger i was always jealous of people who had a lot of friends or just a lot of people around them i was always a loner and i enjoyed being alone but for some people it seemed weird seeing people alone especially on high school because thats the place u meet your friend of life but that wasn’t my case i met 2 years ago the greatest girl iknow and we relate so much. Even tho we don’t meet up often we still now were there for eachother. So yeahh now iknow i don’t need alot of friends but like real friends who loves me for who i am😊✨
Great video and completely understand it. In my 20's I spent my time being a social butterfly, having super intense friendships that seemed to come and go so quickly and always left me feeling lost when the friendship wasn't what I thought it was. As the famous quote says "when you try to be everything to everyone, you accomplish being nothing to no one". I also think social media has a big part to play in this because FOMO is real and we all have a version of ourselves we want to portray to the world. As I moved into my 30's and dealt with some tough times, I learnt that like most things in life, its the quality and not the quantity of people in your life. I don't know if it's because I have become naturally more introverted as I have got older, but I would much rather have a handful of people say "happy birthday" and cheer me on, knowing they genuinely mean in, rather than 100 people who don't. I think this is part of learning to be confident, secure and comfortable in your own skin, and learning to not need or crave the validation we get from others to feel complete. It's self preservation to try and keep people at a certain distance, a learnt behaviour from previously being burned, but keeping the world at a distance is a lonely place sometimes and sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. Great video and hope the renovation is going well!
This materialistic world changed everyone's perception on what is truly relevant in our lives these days. Learn to know who you really are first. Dig deep within and find out what is your true purpose in life.
I can relate to being scared to open up to people. Also went through the stage of having more friends than I could keep up with. But I was lucky to find my core group of friends in college and keep real close bonds with them after graduating. Now that I’m in a new country making new friends has been a struggle. I find myself shying away from one-on-one meetups or even keeping regular contact with people I meet. But you made a good point about not letting the fear of being hurt keep us from making meaningful connections with others. Thank you for sharing this 😊
Omg thank you for this video. I'm struggling with superficial friendships and being "jealous" of genuine real friendships since high school. It may sound strange but it really comforts me seeing people like you, who in my mind are so cool and seem to have so manyyy connections, saying that they actually struggle with this too. Yeah, its not easy to make friends anymore. But I'm sure That one day we will find our people.
I’m a lot, lot older than you and what you describe is all part of your personal growth - knowing the type of person you want to be and life you want to live. Friendships are like flowers in a garden and you have limited space and time. Decide on the ones you want to invest in and cultivate. They’ll develop deep roots that can withstand a storm…. and occasionally do a bit of weeding to make sure strays are not putting ones you value in the shade. There’s a saying that people enter into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. You’re learning to sense the difference and investing your trust, openness and commitment accordingly. Really enjoy your bed talks. Always gives me food for thought….even at my age
"All Scripture is inspired of God, " ... "and beneficial for teaching and reproving " 2 Timothy 3:16 it is with this Spirit in mind that anyone is invited to hear the symphony of the scriptural truth of the established Kingdom of God in the Heavens of the Heavens that will rule over the Kingdom of God on Earth. Matthew 6:9, 10 "Cleansing ourselves from the WORLD's Defilements" Brother Hawkings Circuit Overseer. 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔💭💭💭💭💭
first things first, i absolutely love your bed talks. they're so relatable and it goes deeper into who you are/ your thoughts. in my case i've never been one to have any friends and have always been quite selective when it comes to making friends. interacting with many people at once can be super draining to me and i often need a moment to recharge. sometimes i tend to go quiet for a bit and some understand it and others don't. our hardest moments in life do a really good job of showing us who's really there for us and who are willing to stick by us no matter what. usually for my bday i love doing the bare minimum and this time (it was 3 days ago)i actually realized there were people i really wanted to see on that day and seeing them felt great and i didn't feel drained at all. nowadays i have friends that i've known for over 10 years who are still just as close and slowly gaining new ones as well, i'm glad you are too and i hope you keep gaining more of those soulmate friends along the way. thanks for sharing !
Awww😥 괜찮 겠어요? My heart is sad for you. I may not know you personally, but just in the short amount of time watching you through your social media, I have some understanding of your beautiful character. I'm glad you have realized that it is quality, not quantity that's you seek. Don't let others decide your value. Because you have a warm heart, many will be drawn to you! Love yourself first to know that you are worth what your heart desires. ❤️ I only share from experience!😔 화이팅! You are so brave to talk about the difficulties we all go through. 감사합니다 Danny!🙏😊
Ho Dan, I agree totally with what you said! And in the comments I ‘ll say the same thing as “Rov.Gwendolyn....” who is 80 ! : In a whole life one have max 2 or 3 very close friends! I’d like to tell you more but my English is not good enough for deeper conversation ! So can I write you in french? Thank you 🙏🏻! (Good luck with your wine bar !) good night, sleep well!
I am 36 years old and I have friends that I have known since we were 6/7 years old, with them I have always talked about everything and more, and they are true, sincere friendships, then over time we move away, study, work, life itself, which puts us to the test, and it is precisely at that moment that true friends return, to be close to you, to help each other. Only lately with them I can not open up to say everything, but I do it only to protect them, so as not to worry them further, I say that everything is fine, I always smile, but I see in their eyes that they do not believe me, because when they know each other for so many years, we understand each other even without speaking.
Sometimes, friends who have that much deep connection as yours, know even if you don’t say it. Just like family ..! I personally think it’s ok to tell them instead of holding it in by yourself because it could hurt them to see you struggle in pain by yourself…
@@ThizisDanny I find it easier to let off steam maybe here in chat, than looking at the people you love in the eyes and tell them your anguish, your fears, I can't do it, they've always seen me strong, enterprising, sporty, competitive, and I don't go and tell him I'm not always like that.
@@ThizisDanny When I'm sick they notice it, they are the ones who take me to the emergency room, but I can't tell them that I'm afraid, that I think I can't do it, I'm afraid to leave my child not to see him grow up, I'm a fatalist it means that it had to happen, but when you have children you have to feel good for them.
@@ThizisDannyI am comforted by the fact that I am very very lucky, in bad luck, because it happened to me and not to my son, and I hope that he never experiences this suffering. I've seen parents torn by grief ...
I've always felt that I did not want to be famous--waaaay too many people out there, wanting something FROM you (connections, etc.), instead of the mindset of "what can I do FOR them?" And you're left trying to sort out who's who. But it's totally understandable when after touching a hot stove, your brain tries to warn you, "Don't do THAT again!!" And in this internet age, when so many friendships are made online, truly deeper, more caring and thoughtful relationships are worth their weight in gold, you learn to treasure them. It's my wish that you'll be able to watch that inner circle of trusted friends grow larger each year, giving you even more unconditional love and support. Love and Light from around Orlando, Florida, USA, Danny--sending you some virtual smooooochies and hugs! :-D
Hello Danny, I enjoy your bed talk- self reflections, thanks for sharing. This episode is very deep, not too many people give a second thought🤔about real close friends. It’s so inspirational, oneself must think 💭 about Quality v. Quantity, real friends are in good and bad times. True friends are the family that we choose☺️🙃😉💜
Relationships mirror our deep holes..those we even are aware about...that's why we have to keep relating and getting knowledge...we always learn something about us, and about life...I guess, If we live in so complexo system, maybe we should not bê harsh on us, and on people.. but it is easy to write about... Anyway, for anyone who see this text: " You are not alone" 🙌😄❤️
I find it extremely difficult to make friends. So. I befriended myself. May sound weird but I know myself inside out and know I can trust myself 100%. Basically it has taken me a lifetime to love myself enough to relax and enjoy everything life has to offer. I ❤️ life and this planet 🌎. My family mean the world to me also of course. Once you find your happy place and you will it’s wonderful.
안녕 Dan..💕🙋🏻 I truely can feel you in this situation cause I've been there too. To find a true and honest friends are very hard nowadays. But, I still believe..There is someone out there can be a true friends for me perhaps..🌈✨🙏🏻🕊️
Hi Dan, I totally agree with Gwendolyn ! (and with you, too!!! ) I would have some things to add to all the good comments but my English is not good enough! Can I write you in french and you translate it?? Thank you and sleep well ! Good night Dan! 😍
My BFF we went to school together she passed away on 1/3/1985 I still miss her. My next BFF we met by àccident at church in the 70's we still hang out. My next BFF we met at a community meeting we travel together when time permits. She is the only one I eat ice cream with. 🍦 Quit trying to make friends and let life happen.
I Just saw your video i see its 3 years ago but i realy agree for i still have this to this very day. Imts my b day and im glad the day is almost over!😢 it sucks that i did sow mich for others and they all forgot me😂.I work to much cant realy make new friends and the friends that i hade never realy where friends😂 i learnd again today🎉.Indeed they call and want to hang out but its for there own status and when you have money things aleays get funny😢 I got depressed to i hade the luck that my daughter told me about a Korean boy band because that saved me from my depression. That band is BTS. Lovely music and beautifull soul verry full of much talent. All i have is that to hold on to. In these times its hard to find some one Who is real you know? How do you deal with this now? I gave up on making ore having real friends.I do hope my daughter will have friends but the world is not like it used to people stress and allot are fake like wauw. I hope i dont become heartless
Yeah! It's not easy to make friends but if you find one that is a "TRUE FRIEND" keep it. In this complicated world finding a true friend is just like finding a treasure.
I was one of the band geeks growing up and didn't have a large group of friends. It didn't matter because I'm an introvert anyway. The older I've gotten, the smaller my circle has gotten. I've been hurt by those I trusted so I quit trusting. Now, it just takes longer for me to learn to open up to people I don't know. I have no real friends nearby. They're in Maryland, Illinois, Utah, Texas, Nevada, California and North Carolina. We keep in touch and I travel a lot. Here, I have my family and that is fine. My circle is pretty small and honestly, the older I get, the more asocial I get. As a nurse, I socialize more than I wish anyway... ㅋㅋㅋ. It's okay to keep your trusted circle small. You will always have someone who has your back. You are still young so it's probably different for you. But I'm nearing retirement and love just hanging with my family, my dog and those few friends I consider family. Please never feel bad about reaching out to your family and close friends of you're having a tough time.
Yeah you know Dan, I have my own opinion about life and maybe is this a culture thing. I have lots of friends but only 2 close friends and a good relation with my family. You known our family/close friends they change in life everybody have there own learning to do in life. If you don’t see that than your sleeping. Sorry but family/friends can also be toxied and give you bad advice. Because they don’t know, you can’t blame them they also have lesson to learn, we think that your close friends/family is everything for use. I agree they are there for use in time of trouble of problems. Is lovely and sweet to see that. I personally have doubt about there opinion even they are close to me. There opinion is not always valuable . A stranger can help and support you in many ways and even love you. One lesson i learn in life. You always need people in your life, you need those people to become a successful and wise person that’s way you go to school, social contacts, events, learning, you meat other people to learn something in life, if you stop making’s friends that is really something to think about. What about you Dan? Do you trust yourself or friends/family advice, Who is making the decision you or family/friends I don’t blame family/friends they try to help us in many ways. But as a person you will never grow in friends/family, Yes you will grow in life in this case familie/friend want you to be like them. For me is that not growing. As a person you have lots of thing you can give to the world. That’s way we have to leave family/friends to start a family and focus to other thing in life that is greater and bigger for our life. iI hope you understand me. Have a beautiful night. Love you. Thanks✌️💥❤️❤️❤️🌹💫💥💥
The boundaries are in your head. It doesn’t mean you need to stop making friends or stop yourself from open up. Be yourself. And always remember, the real ones will stay. Some of them are lessons, some of them are blessings. Just expect nothing and accept everything. That’s my advice to you. Hope it will help 🙂
Yeah. It happened so that i have nobody to communicate now. Even some small, stupid, everyday stuff. You know, not about 'friends' or deep conversations, i even have no somebody just for easy small talks. So it hurts. Feels like smth wrong with me. And the problem is that i even don't know where i should find new people. It's really hard when you're getting older. I just can't understand what i should do, where i should go to. So of course if i meet nobody so I'll have nobody to talk to, it's obvious. But that's a real trouble.
DAN hi From Germany here I wanted to ask,how much did it cost you to build your house in country side?I saw the video and its STUNNING house.... I want to go and build where my grandmother is from in a country side TANZANIA,I bought a Plot and it's in amazing place..... All the Best
Omg Danny you are way smarter to than your years and should consider writing a book. Becos of my age yeah I have the wisdom maybe better cos I been there etc. It's good you are already noticing and starting to change. Change makes for a much better Danny and I am super happy for you. I guess I would NVR have the privilege of knowing you the way your good close friends know you but thank you for reminding me despite all that has happened in my life ...friends who cheated on me...friends who are NVR Ard when you really need them despite of me always being there for them thru their darkest moments. It's funny how even at my age I get new friends and within a short while despite huge age differences we have become close . At the end of the day is not the quantity and it's always about quality. You are a truly good person. Be happy always. Love from Singapore ❤️🇸🇬🇰🇷
I've just recently had this very conversation with my lifelong bestie. I've always been an introvert. Large crowds are exhasting for me, and while I will open up when with people I trust, many times I stay closed off because putting energy into anything other than a reciprocated friendship is too tiring. As an adult who is very comfortable being single with only one friend I consider my soulmate, it can still get pretty lonely, but making new friends is something I feel like I almost always unintentionally self-sabatage. The anxiety of wanting to be liked and accepted and to not come off too strong and scare someone new away is real. But the right people won't make us feel that way. I've been lucky to find and have the opportunity to nurture a brand new friendship this year and what's allowed it to be successful so far is communication. Communicating the anxieties and fears and making sure both parties are on the same page is imperative for a successful friendship, especially in adulthood. Being self-aware of our own faults and what holds us back can sometimes be frustrating, and change can be hard, but when it comes to friendships, so important. Your maturity and self-awareness in this video is inspiring and I hope you've been able to find ans nurture some amazing friendships since making this video.
I can't get this bed talk out of my head. I can understand you. I'm a little different than you, but I can understand you. I've only been your follower for 9 months and I'm actually rarely if ever a fan of anyone. But now I've probably mutated into a kind of fan. Can write this here now, because I'm sure that after 5 months nobody is interested anymore. I just saw this bedtalk last week until today. To the bed talk. You know trust is always a risk and not every situation is controllable. Don't always take a step back as soon as someone enters your comfort zone or your dark world of thought. Sometimes it's worth it. Most importantly, you've created such a great community here. You will be supported and loved in friendship. And you have a great family. I think the connection to your mom is immensely good.❤👍And I wish you a partner who is always there for you and holds you. But most of all, I believe and hope that you are doing well at the moment. That's great!👌 Even if we will never get to know each other personally because we come from different time zones and worlds... I will continue to support you as a follower. As written. I feel connected to you even though I don't know you personally. Somehow I see many parallels between you and me. Whenever you see the sunrise or the sunset I will be on the other side and believe in you and be there for you.😇🤍💜🫂
Hello Dan,its ur 5th video im watching rite now...a frnd shud understand the situation and cooperate accordingly,the person name starts with "H" alwayz betrayed by others,pushed in corner or they themselves have to keep distance from friends coz we ppl are easily trust on others and easily catch theirs fade friendship...i also have tons of friends but none of them are trustworthy,i only get close to 'H' letter person.And the alphabet starting with "A" and "F" and "H" Persons truely loyal and loves you.,the person staring the letter with "T" we shud be careful wid thm coz they are selfish to us...we may like the person starting the letter with "S" and they also wants to loyal and lovable to you,but they will end up with brutal reasons and they will be self centerd to us...again "R" name parson are just meant to mess wid "H" name person's coz of thr anger and being short temper attitude towards "H"... Those who are reading my views plz dont get offensive,its my experiences and knowledge by my well known teacher...sorry...
2:40 Aaah the vicious circle of having a "stable" group, then questioning whether you're severely narrowing your horizons, and then risking neglecting them to go make more "groups".
It is ironic--insightful thoughts about friends, from a highly respected and admired guy with (thus far) 40K YT subscribers and 335 comments on this video. I am certain that many of us wish we had the good fortune to be among your good friends. Absent that, I among others, nonetheless do wish you the very best of everything in your life.
new viewer and sorry I wrote a goddamn essay 😅( I apologize lol )I think that society changed a lot especially after the huge use of social networks that lead people to look more for "shallow" friendships then actual deep connections. I'm 25 I did try to look for deep relationships (also because I hate social networks [except for the Twitter phase I had, mostly because you actually don't need to show your life in there, it's just sharing thoughts], I consider myself a weirdo in this matter) so I always did open up (about my difficult past,my health literally everything), be myself ,tell what I thought without sugarcoat (with respect of course), try to reach out to people to check on them and yes also be there when they needed (for example: stay all night on the phone with someone who had a bad period and so on) basically try to be a decent friend. Well it didn't end well. I ended up be attached to everyone but the people just had no worries of lie to me , ghosting and just find some weird excuses to exclude me from their lifes. Every time it did hurt like crazy. I still have open wounds and I still cry if I think how things went so bad with some people and I end blaming and hating myself for how it ended..I overthink ..i shouldn't have done this..I should have said that... And yes if some of these people would text me I would go back to them like a dog , I feel so stupid for this 😭 So I turned to be from a kinda extrovert person to someone that even if I feel lonely I think "it's better this way".. I don't check on anyone anymore and I'm so slow at replying basically because I feel like it's useless. So right now I have literally 0 friends and when I meet some acquaintances I just try to avoid to open up. Also because all of the above I'm single af and I don't even feel like dating because I feel so worthless (I don't even have good body shape because all the shit I went tru led me to indulge too much on absolutely not diet friendly food). I guess I'm the ultimate form of a lone wolf lol So ya you're so lucky to have true friends, there is saying here "who find a friend, find a treasure " i think it's very appropriate especially nowadays ^^
In my life times, I had so many friends and associates. I don't look for friends, the true friend are given when trust has developed through times. Now, I say I only have a handful true friends but still have associates out there that we can meet up every now and then. Dan, enjoy meeting people, if they will be your friends at the end, great! If not, it's good too...life is getting too short, live your life to the upmost. Your fans loves...much love from USA❤️
I've always been a more introverted person (introvert), but I've always tried to make friends with everyone else. At some point I realized that it is not good because you can't make everyone happy, and I ended up on my own and I felt lonely. Before the summer holidays after which I was supposed to start high school, I lost what I used to call them my friends. Only later did I realize that they didn't see me that way. For some reason I don't know until today, they stopped talking to me. So overnight. They ignored me, acted like I wasn't with them. As if I didn't exist. This hit me really hard. It was the first time that I realized how much we may not know someone despite the fact that we spend practically every day with them. When I started high school, I decided not to get involved in any artificial or false friendships, which made me kinda find myself and people whom I could count on in any situation. And it seems to me that the most important thing in life is to find just such people who will always help you, and when you need to "kick your ass" so that you can move forward. ❤ Thank you for your bedtalks, as always they give me time for reflection of my own thoughts. ❤☀
You are so right with this. I am 45 now and lots of people came into my life, walked a while with me and than took off. The interest is not the same for everyone about you. Today I have one real friend and I already know her since 1st grade in school. Makes it 38!!! Years. Wow that’s long. When we go out we always have a lot of fun and can talk about everything….you just need one good one in the end. I am very lucky. But I think you are right, it’s not easy at all to spread your life and trust to others…. Thank you for the video 👍🏻😊
Very poignant and very true. 41 myself and as other messages sent to you have implied, age is often irrelevant when it comes friendship - new/old/permanent/loner etc. Very much to myself now, but oten can't decide who i am - an over-dramatic 'no-one loves me anymore'; or simple 'get a grip honey and be happy with yourself' lol. Tough one ....💫
Tbh it's like as I grew up, I wanted more alone time. One should just do what makes them happy and not be stressed about just making others happy. I started thinking about myself as I experienced stuff while growing up.
It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable with such a broad audience, I admire that about you. Your talks and experiences have been encouraging some of my own deep thoughts of late; I hope you don’t mind if I use some of your creative thinking as inspiration for my own work? I feel you on the openess and friendship struggles too. I was very much the same in what feels like another life. I’m seeking balance now too; your talks have helped encourage me to try some new things tbh. Thanks for that 💗🙏🏼 Be well Danny.
for some weird reason sometimes it feels easier to talk to people I can’t see and know very well instead of talking to a friend about these thoughts. it’s comforting in a way to know that I’m not alone and there are other people who share the same thoughts. :)
Hi Dan, Love all your Bed Talk videos. I can relate to this video. In my case Covid and Lockdowns have shown me friends were not who I thought they were. At first we were having Zoom meet ups regularly, Staying in contact through social media and phone calls during the Lockdown. After a time ones who I thought were my friends slowly stopped contacting I was the one always checking on them to see if they were OK. But it wasn't reciprocated I was the one supporting them and trying to hold on to the friendships I was the one who was left upset and broken.
South Korea is a very strong nation, I guess they hardly use theories on english in Universities? They have translate them all to korean, that's what my collegue said. In Greenland, we're only 56.000 people, I wish we can be strong as Korea.
안녕하세요 Dan vous êtes très courageux. Courageux de vous dévoiler , courageux pour votre introspection. Cela demande beaucoup de courage car ce n est ni facile ni donné à tout le monde. Mais au final vos expériences, vos questionnements, vos analyses sur vos sentiments et les situations que vous rencontrez vous font avancer et grandir. Quant à la thématique sur l' amitié que vous évoquez dans votre vlog , cela me fait penser que depuis mon jeune âge j' ai toujours été très sélective : pas plus d un ou deux amis en même temps sur lesquels je pouvais compter. Je ne me suis jamais posé la question si je les intéressais. ..sans doute que oui puisqu' on se fréquentait. Avec le temps, j ai compris que " donner" c était recevoir en retour. A chaque fois que j aide quelqu'un j 'ai l 'impression de "grandir". 감사 해요 Dan pour votre vlog car cela m ' a fait réfléchir sur moi également. A très bientôt 🙏🙏🤗💓🇲🇫
What I've wanted to say for such a long time: Your skin is absolutely flawless. You always take care of your skin - it must be a lot of pressure? Where I'm from, it's ok to have a pigment spot (not sure that is the right word... I'm not a native speaker) - they are called beauty marks (mouche). Some women even paint a little mark on their face, because they feel it makes them look more interesting or unique. Also, it is ok to wear glasses, or no full make up, or have a little scar... The pressure to always look your best in Korea must be extreme.
You known Dan I have my own opinion about friendship. Friendship is a beautiful thing between two people ore with a group. Is dependent on the friendship self what do you except from this friendship ore group what is the purpose of this friendship? If you known the answer than we can built a friendship or a group. But if you don’t known people, I think will leave you and take distance of you. Most Friendship has to do with trust, love, commitment, joy and respect. I think sometimes God try to learn our lessons. I also had to learn hard lesson in the past about friendship ore dealing with a group of people. You known by learning even is hard you get stronger as a person. If people leave you means they don’t respect you. Yes sometimes people has to leave because you have to grown in life to. I hope you open up to new friendship. Bye ❤️❤️❤️😘💫
I used to also want to have many friends when I was younger and, for a while, I did have many "friends" but I don't talk to any of them anymore. I, now, appreciate having one or two good friends I can count on because quality is more important than quantity. However, it takes a while to get there. One must first be comfortable with oneself to realize all of this. I am happy you have also come to this realization. Life is full of surprises and many unexpected people can cross our paths at any given time. :)
Your words were to me like a bomb going off inside my mind. I could live several experiences similar to the ones you lived and it's been hurting me a lot, mainly be able to apen up to the others day by day. I do like my boundaries, but them keep me stuck and kinda like antisocial. However, I figure you, me and the all ppl living like that DO NOT take it for granted, that's, is any chance yet. Ty for sharing it with us. Makes me feel like understood by someone, even without spoke nothing.
That reminds me of my brother and ex-husband. I used to joke that if either was walking somewhere in the middle of no-where and another person showed up, both would probably be saying, "Hey So and So!) And yes, my brother already knew my ex before we dated. Both can remember names and even phone numbers of people they haven't seen in decades and amazingly, the people remember them! I can't remember a face I saw last week!
Thank u for sharing. Watching from Cali. I understand ur experience. I'm still single & all my friends married, had kids, moved away... We don't have a lot in common anymore & time is scarce due to work. Yesterday I made a decision to call my cousin who grew up being my bestie & we agreed that we have to put in the effort to communicate bc our sisterhood is too important. ❤❤❤❤ much love 2 u bro. ❤️
I tend to avoid making new friends, though I'm always up to encourage peeps whenever I can. I had a very good friend once who was too helpful to everyone and anyone. It didn't go well for him, especially after we went our separate ways. :( And I can understand the need to make connections, especially when you want to put yourself about for any work you feel should get more recognition. But that's not really what you're saying. I'm an old dog myself, so I'm not all that interested in making new friends. Though, I may have to one day if I ever get more creative. ;)
Hey cool to hear some truth from your life and experience. I made also party and tried to find friends and i kind of made the same experience. It felt Like living in a Cage, because deep thoughts were not permitted in the group, IT felt Like a lot of people tried to live a fake positiv Charakter. IT was all about having a advantage trough friends, not about friendship. Sudddnly some women startet to hate me in the group because i didnt behave Like they wished and after time i decided to get out of the group. Then my way really started, i was searching for sense and really didnt understand why i couldnt find honest people that want Real friendship, IT got even deeper. I saw a lot of evil stuff and i was wondering is the human maybe Born this way? Things that i have never thought about were suddenly opened before my Eyes. One day after work someone betrayed me and instead of getting money for my workshift i had to pay money to the Company...after the workshift i broke in tears crying alone in a parkinglot. I was yelling to heaven something Like this:" God if you are there why are you not helping me?! Where are you? If you are really there help me! Nothing changed at first, after a while i was invited and was Meeting a Christian youth group, they were so Different than everything i ever knew. They made mistakes, didnt behave right all the Time but they were honest, they were friendly, not seeking advantage for themselves , but friendship and true relationships. I found real friends in my church and later also my wife to whom im married right now. I found not only friends, but i got saved from hell by Jesus Christ forever. If you want to find true meaning in life seek Jesus Christ. He is the only way to heaven and my Story speaks of him hearing broken hearts and saving them. Greetings from germany
Maybe some of those who stopped call you was going through the same overwhelming stress as you? The most social ones from my class at the university got depressed from all the social expectations. I couldn't believe that they felt that way, they're were so "perfect". But they did. I like your voice, I could listen to it for hours...
Dear Dan, I hope you are well !? I hope you are just very busy with your wine bar, who is opening in a few days? I allow myself to ask you this because of this bedtalk about friends, and having listened to your sad music ! I’m a little worried but you said you’d be busy, so I hope, it’s just that, the reason for your silence ! 🙋🏼🥰
I have felt the same way , exactly!!!! For a long time. Sorry to hear you had it like that. Especially for deep people who care about more than the common superficial stuff it is hard. My only best friend has been my husband for 22 years. We ve always had doors open and hearts in our house for many people, even after having experiences of selfishness from other people. When you have a feeling that some people remember your existence only if they need something, and that feeling of being used. But!!!!!! We still believe in good light , kind giving loving hearts out there. They are there!
It's easy to make friends but it's really hard to get true real friends 🙃 So , when itz comes to friends umm keep your circle small with quality full friends
Hi Danny! The friends who are ‘party people’ can have still have a place in your life. Sorry to hear that you were disappointed by friends. People will come & go & serve a purpose, they can have different levels of your confidence. Don’t be afraid to slowly open yourself up to others again, once they earn your trust. Love you & thanks for sharing.
I can relate a lot. I can 100% say I love my oldest friends, my truest friends. They have seen me through bad times and good times. I have a couple of groups of Friends, but my newest friends I don't open up to, too much. My oldest friends know me so well we don't even have to talk. We know what the other is thinking. I love them and that's the truth. x
I think I'm talkative but only with the persons I feel comfortable with and sometimes people thought I'm an egoistic person which is completely opposite of mine but I really don't know how to change my image around people ...but I'm really happy with myself now ..your stories are really good which I can relate 💜
Soulmates are rarely... these people where you can be really honest, say your darkest thoughts and be safe, because you know they wouldn't judge. Would wish everyone found one...
Hey danny Really thoughtful video. I am totally agree with that video. Because i also have lots of friends. But i don't make any deep thought sharing friend. But apart from that friendship is also important for everyone for sharing everything.😊
I can't relate to the friends thing since, I've never had any even through high school. However, I also realized that when I was around 12 that I was homosexual it meant not socializing with others at it means the difference between socializing or dying at a young age. As a result, it's also prevented me from knowing people in my 30s. Despite, being in the country that is seen as "progressive" like the states socially, it's more like 1950. I might be open about my self depending on environment, but all most people see is different sexuality nothing possibly in common. So I always have to weigh do I want to chance knowing someone new or risk getting murdered or assaulted. Despite, the loneliness I find one can accept being alone if they're able to accept being by themselves in their flaws. At the end of the day we're left with ourselves anyway.
I listened to this video a little over a month ago and frequently it has come back into my mind as I pondered over the things you said, your hopes, your disillusionment in the past. It's late for me now but I felt I should listen again to what you were saying. There are a few lines I recall from a television series I watched many years ago that has stuck with me. It goes something like this - When you start university you are excited, you want to take part in everything, you want to know everyone, you want to be involved. When you start the second year of university, you spend most of your time ridding yourself of the people you met during your first year. Think about it, it makes a whole lot of sense. For my part, I never consider a person a friend if I have recently met them. They are no more than associates, people I happen to come across and pass a few words. The same goes for people I used to work with, I never regarded them as friends even though I would be with them for some eight hours or more a day and occasionally went out for a drink or a meal with some of them. They were no more than colleagues. School friends, university friends - I use the word "friend" here very loosely - they were no more than people who occupied the same space as me for a short time, they might have felt important at the time but that time is transient. In fact, many decades have disappeared since I left high school and I know just one person from that time. We haven't met up for over 20 years, and before that likely met up in person 3 or 4 times in the previous 20 or so years, but we do have email conversations several times a week. We don't even telephone one another! But I know I can discuss anything I want with her, and she does the same with me. Everything from politics to religion, the price of food to studies (she has returned to university now she has retired from work to complete her Masters in Fine Art), and I listen when she vents about her partner, she listens when I vent about needing another 30 years at least to do even some of the things I have in my mind. There are times when I think it would be nice to speak with someone, have some company, but, in all honesty, I really can't be bothered going through all the hassle of going out somewhere, making small-talk, wondering if this guy or that guy might be worth a bit more time or whether he is only interested in if I am going to pay the bill or support him if he gets into any kind of trouble or has problems with family. Again, you will have gone through this already and will know what I mean. A neighbour is just that, someone to nod politely to or say good morning. An associate is someone you might work with or even meet up with occasionally for a meal, a coffee, some small talk. A friend is not someone you meet, a friend is someone who you realise is still by your side (even if metaphorically) years and years after you first met. I think I realised this a few decades ago when I walked away from a lucrative contract and gave up my work and business interests. I saw that there were many people I knew, people who wanted to talk to me, hang out, appeared to show an interest in what I was doing - when all the while they offered their "companionship" in return for my paying the bill and for them to be able to brag to others they "knew" me. I smile now because they actually knew nothing about me. What did I do afterwards when I found myself jobless and almost penniless? I woke the next day and smiled. I had drawn a line, yes, but in my case it was drawing a line between the past and the present. Nothing in the past mattered, it couldn't be changed, so there was no point even thinking about it. I learned quickly how to enjoy my own company, how to do things for myself, how to enjoy even the small things in life that I had been far too busy before to notice. I carried on writing, I guess it was in my dna, but realised I was now writing for myself, for my own contentment, not writing to any formula to try and please publishers or readers, not even considering normal publication. And it makes me happy knowing that I am living for myself and not having to worry about rushing off to meet this person or that person, prepare for meetings, compromise, give up valuable time in order to satisfy others - who I knew were not friends and never would be friends (perhaps I have a different definition of friendship?). Politeness is essential, help others where possible, but never to the detriment of yourself. And, if you are not happy with yourself and your existence, you can never really help others. I do take your point that you often hope that conversations can be deeper than the superficial chats about general things. It is never easy to come across people who have that desire - most people I know who are married or have partners, both gay and straight, really don't "talk" to their partners, everything is superficial. But there are people who will listen, who will enjoy listening, who hope to understand, and who will open up and talk to you - but those people are the casual associates who, over a long period of time, become friends. I haven't drawn a line that says I won't bother to meet new people "in person" or hope for a "friend" in the future, I just don't bother to look because, as a beautiful folk song says, Somewhere along the road someone waits for me. Just remember, people suddenly click. There is no magic formula, and often the person who becomes the most meaningful in our lives is the total opposite of the dream we have. That's the way of life. For you, enjoy the people you happen to meet but regard them just as nice (or otherwise) people, people you might encounter again, people you might superficially chat with, and it is always possible that one of them will become what you hope for over time. And, while you are waiting for what might seem the impossible, you will continue to develop as a person, you will enjoy your Self, you will understand yourself more, and the happiness you feel from simply waking up in the morning and being able to smile because it is a new day will be really infectious. Okay, I have typed far too much but spending most of my time alone gives my brain a chance to run riot with my typing fingers lol Besides, if something is worth saying then 2 or 3 lines is never enough. In a nutshell, just regard the people you meet as people you meet - friendship, like love, can take time. Hugs, Stephen
I've been walking a lot lately, my phone doesn't ring and I don't even receive text messages with a simple phrase "hi, is everything with you?". I don't have any friends, they disappeared over time, and it's always the same excuse "life is hectic". I learn to be my best company, to like who I am now but having a deep conversation with someone is difficult. People don't want to connect, they have no interest in getting to know a friend deeply. I don't give up on people and I know my soulmate friend is out there waiting for us to connect.
Dear Dan. Wonderful video. Fantastic visuals. Towards the end you say you hope you can change. You don't. You experienced the extroverted world with your introverted self. And you came out knowing better. I have realised (as an introvert) and someone much older than you, that if you are your own best friend, your real friends will find you more easily and never let you go. You will never be without real friends even if very few. As you are so true to yourself. And that is something rare. Very rare in todays age over social media overload...
I don’t think you have anything to worry about, because you have already done the most important thing which was recognize that your past relationships were “a mile wide and an inch deep”. It sounds like you are on a very contemplative and important journey of personal discovery. Take your time and have fun.
I’m an introvert so i never really enjoyed hanging out with superficial friends. I’m glad to have just a handful of close friends. At the end of the day, it’s not the quantity but quality that counts. 😊
It is better to have a least one true friend that sticks closer than a brother, than a gaggle of fair weather friends. I think today's social media gives our young people that wrong idea of friendships. At 65, I can count on my hand the number of true friends that I have or have had. In my opinion, the best friends are the ones you don't need to babysit, to show that you are friends constantly. We shouldn't have to call every day and twice on Sunday to prove our friendship. As adults we are all busy, and we get together when we can. We see each other at church and normally eat lunch or dinner together afterwards. Some live across the country from me and when we talk on the phone it's as if no time as passed at all and we can just pick up where we left off. We are always there to help each other in a pinch. We pray for and encourage one another. Don't be afraid to say "No" to gatherings, it's exhausting to over book one's self. You are very charming man and they will invite you again. Also, true friends will forgive you no matter what, because they love you for who you are and not what you can do for them. They have probably gone or are going thru the same think you are, wondering who their true friends are. One certainly can not base friendships on how many phone calls or messages one receives. A friend in need, is a friend indeed!! Supporting you Dan in prayer and being a subscriber to your channel. :) Val from the Pacific NW, Washington State. USA
Just stay open for new friends and brave to express yourself, and the right people will find you! It was always like that in my life. Right people came to me and they stayed. Some people do leave , we can do nothing about it. i have noticed, more i was trying to get "friends" more of false ppl i caught. Then i just relaxed and lived my life. I don't feel like i need to fully open my heart to everyone the same way...For one friend i open a certain edge of my heart, and for another friend i open another corner. And some corners can stay shaded for myself, where i let nobody, but God.
Currently headed in the opposite direction. I actually do have really good friends that I can call or message anytime for anything ... or I used to. Everyone is just busy now and although I always have time and space in my life for them, I don't feel that energy being reciprocated and it saddens me deeply. I don't open up to alot of people. I sit in the corner of a crowded room and watch others... thats my comfort zone. I admire what people share and grieve my loss. I'm not sure which phase of life I'm on, Idk if things will get better or worse, I just hope to have the strength to keep carrying on and be happy 😊
I'ved watched this video 2 months ago were my relationship with friends are better and good and now as I watch it again I realized somehow friends come and go.Our relationship/friendship started to fade.....
True. Its not easy to find friends. Kinda sad. And there are so many broke friendship. 😕 Making friends but don't feel really good. There are very close one but thinking that there are a limited is painful. So I try to just enjoy the moment with them
Being in process of having true people around me, can fully understand your feelings and thoughts. Also have been heart broken as have been misled by fake feelings by fake people I have trusted most. However am grateful as they have helped me realize who I am and what really wanted. A great friend of mine even told me not to close my heart and not leave my trust to other people because then will be as an empty shell. So nowdays I cherish any moment spending with people who accepting me for who really I am. So the few people they know you well, will understand you. The people will not understand you, they have never known you sincerely. Goodnight Dan💖
Wow, well Dan, life will take us to, through, over, under places. I didn’t have any close friends either. With three brothers and no sister. I do not bond with girls, could not get through with emotional connection. I did try to not feel until I got older, now the true friends I have were my friends from elementary years. I still stay in touch with them after forty years. I stop looking to find new friends. I now just take it one day at a time. When it happen you will receive many blessings. Good luck and thank you for being my friend Dan
Ya you are right same as me all day I was very deep sad and lonely but one this that changed me that is book . I like to read book .So one day my bro give me book of H.H. 14th dalai lame's book . Most of world know him that maybe here you yugs know him think so. Book Name : The Arts of Happiness . It was very good. But in india it was very hard to get this book . It help me a lots of my thinking .
Drawing a line is very important in any relationships. if people know too much about us, it gives them the power to hurt you, attack you pull you down etc etc. but if you set a boundary, they won’t know how to do that to you (just a personal opinion). Having said that, everybody needs somebody and sometimes we do need to cross the line or let others cross the line- so all we need to do is be mindful who we allow n where we want to belong. Because people care too much about the validation of others on us, it is frustrating but then I live by the line “don't walk around like u r the king of the world...walk around like u don't give a damn who the king of the world is!!”
Good day Dan... I can not agree more with you ... but you should look always for friends you will find a true one... for me all my friends are away from me but I try never to skip a day talking to them even by simple Good morning messages even if I don't receive any reply... Thank you for your time ... take care please..
I turned 39 this year, and I'm realizing how lucky people are to have at least a good friend or two by their side. I currently have ZERO and it may have to do with me turning more to an introvert and homebody. Most times I just want to do my own thing and not be bothered. I do feel like there are lots of people out there that feel the way I do and we are a group of loners lol. I don't need to be with like-minded people but it sure helps to bond a bit more. Anyway, I have anime's and k-dramas that entertain me and keep me distracted. I wish I had a friendship bond like BTS has, they truly do love each other and there's nothing fake in their bonds.
just like you said there are so many loners who are all saying that they are lonely but for some reason we cannot connect :( don’t know if it’s the problem of the modern society…
Most of the times I’m ok but there are just few moments when I really need someone to talk to
People in my circle don't understand how I can go eat, take in a movie, or go to the museum by myself. I guess they haven't have the experiences I have had. Going with someone can be worse than alone.
@@cathyardon956 there was a time I used to go everywhere alone especially the movie theaters and girls in school would make fun of me for that but I don’t care because it‘s often times better to be alone than with shitty people
Girl I can relate 100% to you! Kdramas and BTS have preoccupied my life but I'm grateful. I rather be alone than with mutiple fake friends.
@@roselamoure Kinda like the meme "I'd rather eat crumbs with bums...
Than eat steaks with snakes" right? 😂😉
Really thoughtful. I kinda feel like all your bed talks would make a really good mini book with cute illustrations per bed talk - different little stories within the book :) I would read ☺️😁
ohh I better look for an illustrator haha thank you for the idea :)
Absolutely!
Add some recipes 😋 or even suggestions as to drinks like specialty teas or other calming drinks to consume before bed. Maybe it could be a product tie-in? I wouldn't mind so much as I know you research them and if it came bundled with the book??? Pretty cool! A book, tea cup and teas.
Audio book with his voice would be nice. It find it soothing.
"It's not about quantity it's about quality."
Never been more true when it comes to people in your life.
As an introvert it’s really difficult for me to start a conversation which left me with only a few close friends. And sometimes even those friends seem like they aren’t really interested in me being their friend. Not that they ignore me on purpose or their behaviour is different towards me It's just that I feel left out even when I'm in the group. Nevermind.:)
I realize it’s also important for us to open up and take a step for our friends to open up and take a step. maybe your close friends felt that barrier like my friends did?!
@@ThizisDanny guess you are right.. Btw your bedtalks are really calming. Would love to hear more on the topics like study, future plan and career. 🍀
I have a feeling maybe you’re different people who make an effort to meet half way. I find that admirable. But maybe you haven’t found out each other’s strengths and quirks to balance each other out. A lot of people love to speak and have attention, I cannot stand when “democracy” is something you need to fight for.
Sorry for my analysis I’m just trying to see if our experiences are similar
As you get older, you get wiser. These are life experiences and we learn from them. We learn who are your true friends when you are going through something, they show up for you. Glad you you are finding your way!
Yes they do but I wasn’t sure if I have done the same for them :( And maybe why the connections didn’t feel so strong. I guess it’s never too late
@@ThizisDanny it took me awhile to see who are my true friends…Real friends are very forgiving & will be there for u no matter the situation. They will be there. I think you have good judgment & know who are your real friends. Congrats on your new business venture! 🙏🏼
I must have missed that “older is wiser” thing. I’m 60 and I’m just getting dumber and dumber. :O
@@fredfonebone5108 lmao you had me rolling with your comment 🤣
Having been divorced by my wife at 69 , living in a different zone with no family, loneliness not being alone .?. presents a real nightmare.
As you no longer fit in nightclub, or music venues like you use to and seldom do strangers talk to you. Then you become even more depressed and isolated ...Live for today while you are young with a your peer group you miss them later when friends are nolonger there..Thanks for honest and interesting videos Dan.😎
That's so true as I'm a shy girl until you get to know me or if we have things in common I'm quite talkative (especially when it comes to bts) but then again I find it super hard making friends otherwise
rightt, I'm like that too. Once I start talking with friends who I trust, I can't stop talking :)
I’m talkative also but depends on the people also :)
I deeply relate to this. When we're young we somehow were conditioned (by society/family/tv/etc) to believe that the only way to do well is to make connections. But making those connections were really costly and exhausting. I ended up losing some of my friends and myself along the process. The stress it brought me made me physically ill and I spent a lot of time after each outing trying to gather my sanity (by sleeping or just hiding in my room and disconnecting from the world). One of my really good friend didn't give up on me she managed to get a hold of me to tell me that we haven't seen each other for a long time and that she missed me. That was my turning point where I started to evaluate my choices and path. It was then that I remembered the saying my grandfather used to say to me 'if you can have 1 confident in your lifetime then you've been lucky'. We are still really good friends but our lives have taken different turns but we make an effort to see each other to catch up and to 'keep it real'. Love this bedtalk and looking forward to your next video.
Thank you for sharing. I've had similar thoughts. I used to have a lot of "friends". It was great for going out to clubs and parties. However, when I had problems or needed advice, they weren't there for me even though I would always listen to them. I went through a lot of heartache because of that. Now, I have only have a couple of friends and they are worth more than all of those others put together. I guess it is a learning process we all have to go through.
I think for me , I wasn’t always a good friend either and that’s why a lot of my friendships ended or faded..
So i am happy to bé called your Friend 🌹🌹💋
They way you describe things talking about things thoughts and feelings are so beautifully done .Have you ever considered to write a book with the title bedtime talk.It would be fascinating. I would love to read your bedtime stories even when I enjoy them so much with the way you tell them the tone and colour in your voice .So soothing and soft spoken. I love those. Lots of love from Greece Dan ❤❤❤
Maybe one day I can put all the talks together when it reaches ep.100 or sth and make a special edition for you guys ( might have to polish up the words and grammar a little haha)
@@ThizisDanny ohh please do so ❤❤ I would love to have that book ❤ LOVE you Dan 😍
In general, making friends is not just a matter of how many friends you have. Especially in this modern era, where people are busy with their own activities.
what is more important is how you maintain the quality of your friendship so that you can become a true friend. Always supportive, positive and trustworthy. So the point is to have few friends but quality ones..that's enough.😊
The only faithfull friend who stays most then anybody is your partner. Because people after get married , neglect and distant theyrself from friends. But go even closest to the partner. Even If you would brake up some day with partner, the ordinary friend is the one who would leave you first to get her/his own life path
It's very hard to make friends and to be honest it's also hard to trust too I had a friend we had a true friendship for a long time but our friendship was more like a biological family she is deceased now. You also have to be careful too who you become friends with. I try to be careful because when one is grieving you can become very vulnerable too. But I do take a chance on getting to know a person so I can relate to what you're saying Dan and I enjoy cooking too
Danny I felt like you are narrating my story, except that it's even worse for a girl to get a good loyal friend..😔
Danny you are a sweet soul with a heart of gold. It’s not easier sharing these thoughts with people you don’t know but I guess at the same time, it’s healing for you to acknowledge these thoughts and what better way to share it…with ppl who support you from afar. People in our lives come and go, some are here for a purpose…some fill in the time. As time goes by you will work out who belongs where. Trying to please everyone is impossible. I have old friends who I see maybe once in a blue moon but every time we meet, our friendship is the same as it ever was. We understand everyone is busy with life…they are the true friends. I’m glad you are in a better place now, it’s all a learning experience. You figure it out as you go and grow… for me, a handful of true friends is much better than a tonne of pointless ones. If you ever feel like there’s no one to turn to….your danscribers are here for you. 🤗
I know it’s weird but sometimes it’s much easier and comforting to tell you guys here and tell my friends or a phone call! I guess that’s probably why I go live when I feel down and to know that a lot of people who supports me share the same thoughts and hardships with me gives me some comfort!
Thank you :) I’m here for you guys too
@@ThizisDanny definitely not weird at all. Just don’t go LIVE middle of the night lol…you need to sleep🙈
I've had a similar experience as I've gotten older -- my level of trust with any given person is probably about 40%, if that. With my best friend it's maybe 85%. With my boyfriend it's close to 100%, and that has been a very, VERY miraculous occurrence. I used to be open with people, but in a pretty superficial way. You know, willing to share my gripes or whatever -- but never anything too deep or personal. To be honest tho, at that time, I wasn't even aware of most of those deep, personal feelings myself. It's taken a lot of solitary years for me to get in touch with my inner workings. I started therapy recently and it's uncovered a mass of tangled trauma I never really knew I had -- although I had my suspicions.
I've gotten a little off topic, maybe. I just wanted to say, the way you're feeling (I think) is normal for people our age (30s or late 20s-ish). I think... it's not as if it's harder to make "friends", but our tolerance for shallow and meaningless interaction is just less. Because that's not what we crave. We crave real connection by now. We aren't kids anymore, and our emotions aren't childish. They're complex, and so the relationships we long for are also complex.
I hope you find someone to connect with, truly. It's so lonely being alone all the time.
Great video…I’m very much can related your experience
Acquaintances are great but friends you only need one.
I am an introvert. I listened to your bedtalk and thought to myself that is the exact reasons why I don't believe in having a lot of friends. I am someone that a friend or two works perfectly well. Thanks for the candid talk.
The best thing I learned yet about friendships was that every human being is selfish, it's as natural as having 2 hands. Don't expect anything from them and prioritize yourself no matter what! 💪
This is something i relate so much to because when i was younger i was always jealous of people who had a lot of friends or just a lot of people around them i was always a loner and i enjoyed being alone but for some people it seemed weird seeing people alone especially on high school because thats the place u meet your friend of life but that wasn’t my case i met 2 years ago the greatest girl iknow and we relate so much. Even tho we don’t meet up often we still now were there for eachother. So yeahh now iknow i don’t need alot of friends but like real friends who loves me for who i am😊✨
Real friends are always there for you even though you don’t meet for a while or talk for a while because you guys are busy!
nice. your voice and accent are gorgeous.
The older you get the more you know who your true friends are. Be with those that make you feel good about who you are.
Great video and completely understand it. In my 20's I spent my time being a social butterfly, having super intense friendships that seemed to come and go so quickly and always left me feeling lost when the friendship wasn't what I thought it was. As the famous quote says "when you try to be everything to everyone, you accomplish being nothing to no one". I also think social media has a big part to play in this because FOMO is real and we all have a version of ourselves we want to portray to the world. As I moved into my 30's and dealt with some tough times, I learnt that like most things in life, its the quality and not the quantity of people in your life. I don't know if it's because I have become naturally more introverted as I have got older, but I would much rather have a handful of people say "happy birthday" and cheer me on, knowing they genuinely mean in, rather than 100 people who don't. I think this is part of learning to be confident, secure and comfortable in your own skin, and learning to not need or crave the validation we get from others to feel complete. It's self preservation to try and keep people at a certain distance, a learnt behaviour from previously being burned, but keeping the world at a distance is a lonely place sometimes and sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. Great video and hope the renovation is going well!
This materialistic world changed everyone's perception on what is truly relevant in our lives these days.
Learn to know who you really are first. Dig deep within and find out what is your true purpose in life.
Yes! one of the reasons why I makes these series :)
I can relate to being scared to open up to people. Also went through the stage of having more friends than I could keep up with. But I was lucky to find my core group of friends in college and keep real close bonds with them after graduating. Now that I’m in a new country making new friends has been a struggle. I find myself shying away from one-on-one meetups or even keeping regular contact with people I meet. But you made a good point about not letting the fear of being hurt keep us from making meaningful connections with others. Thank you for sharing this 😊
Omg thank you for this video. I'm struggling with superficial friendships and being "jealous" of genuine real friendships since high school. It may sound strange but it really comforts me seeing people like you, who in my mind are so cool and seem to have so manyyy connections, saying that they actually struggle with this too. Yeah, its not easy to make friends anymore. But I'm sure That one day we will find our people.
I’m sure there are many people out there who feels the same. one day we will be ready to be a good friend and those good friends will also find us..!
My daughter has gone through this, worse she lost her real friend at the same time 😢I wish she could meet new people
I’m a lot, lot older than you and what you describe is all part of your personal growth - knowing the type of person you want to be and life you want to live. Friendships are like flowers in a garden and you have limited space and time. Decide on the ones you want to invest in and cultivate. They’ll develop deep roots that can withstand a storm…. and occasionally do a bit of weeding to make sure strays are not putting ones you value in the shade. There’s a saying that people enter into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. You’re learning to sense the difference and investing your trust, openness and commitment accordingly. Really enjoy your bed talks. Always gives me food for thought….even at my age
"All Scripture is inspired of God, " ... "and beneficial for teaching and reproving " 2 Timothy 3:16
it is with this Spirit in mind that anyone is invited to hear the symphony of the scriptural truth of
the established Kingdom of God in the Heavens of the Heavens that will rule over the Kingdom
of God on Earth. Matthew 6:9, 10
"Cleansing ourselves from the WORLD's Defilements" Brother Hawkings Circuit Overseer.
🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔💭💭💭💭💭
I can totally relate!!! You've got a new subscriber here! Binge-watching your vids! From your Dubai new subscriber 💞💞💞
first things first, i absolutely love your bed talks. they're so relatable and it goes deeper into who you are/ your thoughts. in my case i've never been one to have any friends and have always been quite selective when it comes to making friends. interacting with many people at once can be super draining to me and i often need a moment to recharge. sometimes i tend to go quiet for a bit and some understand it and others don't. our hardest moments in life do a really good job of showing us who's really there for us and who are willing to stick by us no matter what. usually for my bday i love doing the bare minimum and this time (it was 3 days ago)i actually realized there were people i really wanted to see on that day and seeing them felt great and i didn't feel drained at all. nowadays i have friends that i've known for over 10 years who are still just as close and slowly gaining new ones as well, i'm glad you are too and i hope you keep gaining more of those soulmate friends along the way. thanks for sharing !
Awww😥 괜찮 겠어요? My heart is sad for you. I may not know you personally, but just in the short amount of time watching you through your social media, I have some understanding of your beautiful character. I'm glad you have realized that it is quality, not quantity that's you seek. Don't let others decide your value. Because you have a warm heart, many will be drawn to you! Love yourself first to know that you are worth what your heart desires. ❤️ I only share from experience!😔 화이팅! You are so brave to talk about the difficulties we all go through. 감사합니다 Danny!🙏😊
Ho Dan, I agree totally with what you said! And in the comments I ‘ll say the same thing as “Rov.Gwendolyn....” who is 80 ! : In a whole life one have max 2 or 3 very close friends! I’d like to tell you more but my English is not good enough for deeper conversation ! So can I write you in french? Thank you 🙏🏻! (Good luck with your wine bar !) good night, sleep well!
I strongly advice to read Wilhelm Schmid’s book ( On Happiness in Friendship). Really enlightining👍🏿
I am 36 years old and I have friends that I have known since we were 6/7 years old, with them I have always talked about everything and more, and they are true, sincere friendships, then over time we move away, study, work, life itself, which puts us to the test, and it is precisely at that moment that true friends return, to be close to you, to help each other. Only lately with them I can not open up to say everything, but I do it only to protect them, so as not to worry them further, I say that everything is fine, I always smile, but I see in their eyes that they do not believe me, because when they know each other for so many years, we understand each other even without speaking.
Sometimes, friends who have that much deep connection as yours, know even if you don’t say it. Just like family ..!
I personally think it’s ok to tell them instead of holding it in by yourself because it could hurt them to see you struggle in pain by yourself…
@@ThizisDanny I find it easier to let off steam maybe here in chat, than looking at the people you love in the eyes and tell them your anguish, your fears, I can't do it, they've always seen me strong, enterprising, sporty, competitive, and I don't go and tell him I'm not always like that.
@@ThizisDanny When I'm sick they notice it, they are the ones who take me to the emergency room, but I can't tell them that I'm afraid, that I think I can't do it, I'm afraid to leave my child not to see him grow up, I'm a fatalist it means that it had to happen, but when you have children you have to feel good for them.
@@ThizisDannyI am comforted by the fact that I am very very lucky, in bad luck, because it happened to me and not to my son, and I hope that he never experiences this suffering. I've seen parents torn by grief ...
Danny-ssi, I have 5 dear, cherished, and close friends who give me 100% instead of 100 superficial friends who give me 5%. 🇺🇸🤝🇰🇷
I've always felt that I did not want to be famous--waaaay too many people out there, wanting something FROM you (connections, etc.), instead of the mindset of "what can I do FOR them?" And you're left trying to sort out who's who. But it's totally understandable when after touching a hot stove, your brain tries to warn you, "Don't do THAT again!!" And in this internet age, when so many friendships are made online, truly deeper, more caring and thoughtful relationships are worth their weight in gold, you learn to treasure them. It's my wish that you'll be able to watch that inner circle of trusted friends grow larger each year, giving you even more unconditional love and support. Love and Light from around Orlando, Florida, USA, Danny--sending you some virtual smooooochies and hugs! :-D
Hello Danny, I enjoy your bed talk- self reflections, thanks for sharing. This episode is very deep, not too many people give a second thought🤔about real close friends. It’s so inspirational, oneself must think 💭 about Quality v. Quantity, real friends are in good and bad times. True friends are the family that we choose☺️🙃😉💜
Relationships mirror our deep holes..those we even are aware about...that's why we have to keep relating and getting knowledge...we always learn something about us, and about life...I guess, If we live in so complexo system, maybe we should not bê harsh on us, and on people.. but it is easy to write about...
Anyway, for anyone who see this text: " You are not alone" 🙌😄❤️
I find it extremely difficult to make friends. So. I befriended myself. May sound weird but I know myself inside out and know I can trust myself 100%. Basically it has taken me a lifetime to love myself enough to relax and enjoy everything life has to offer. I ❤️ life and this planet 🌎. My family mean the world to me also of course. Once you find your happy place and you will it’s wonderful.
안녕 Dan..💕🙋🏻 I truely can feel you in this situation cause I've been there too. To find a true and honest friends are very hard nowadays. But, I still believe..There is someone out there can be a true friends for me perhaps..🌈✨🙏🏻🕊️
You will only have one or two real friends during your entire lifetime on earth...I was lucky I have 3 and I have been on earth 80 years...
I guess I need to open up more with the right people to find those 3 …!
Hi Dan, I totally agree with Gwendolyn ! (and with you, too!!! ) I would have some things to add to all the good comments but my English is not good enough! Can I write you in french and you translate it?? Thank you and sleep well ! Good night Dan! 😍
My BFF we went to school together she passed away on 1/3/1985 I still miss her. My next BFF we met by àccident at church in the 70's we still hang out. My next BFF we met at a community meeting we travel together when time permits. She is the only one I eat ice cream with. 🍦 Quit trying to make friends and let life happen.
I Just saw your video i see its 3 years ago but i realy agree for i still have this to this very day. Imts my b day and im glad the day is almost over!😢 it sucks that i did sow mich for others and they all forgot me😂.I work to much cant realy make new friends and the friends that i hade never realy where friends😂 i learnd again today🎉.Indeed they call and want to hang out but its for there own status and when you have money things aleays get funny😢 I got depressed to i hade the luck that my daughter told me about a Korean boy band because that saved me from my depression. That band is BTS. Lovely music and beautifull soul verry full of much talent. All i have is that to hold on to. In these times its hard to find some one Who is real you know? How do you deal with this now? I gave up on making ore having real friends.I do hope my daughter will have friends but the world is not like it used to people stress and allot are fake like wauw. I hope i dont become heartless
Yeah! It's not easy to make friends but if you find one that is a "TRUE FRIEND" keep it. In this complicated world finding a true friend is just like finding a treasure.
I was one of the band geeks growing up and didn't have a large group of friends. It didn't matter because I'm an introvert anyway. The older I've gotten, the smaller my circle has gotten. I've been hurt by those I trusted so I quit trusting. Now, it just takes longer for me to learn to open up to people I don't know. I have no real friends nearby. They're in Maryland, Illinois, Utah, Texas, Nevada, California and North Carolina. We keep in touch and I travel a lot. Here, I have my family and that is fine. My circle is pretty small and honestly, the older I get, the more asocial I get. As a nurse, I socialize more than I wish anyway... ㅋㅋㅋ. It's okay to keep your trusted circle small. You will always have someone who has your back. You are still young so it's probably different for you. But I'm nearing retirement and love just hanging with my family, my dog and those few friends I consider family. Please never feel bad about reaching out to your family and close friends of you're having a tough time.
Yeah you know Dan, I have my own opinion about life and maybe is this a culture thing. I have lots of friends but only 2 close friends and a good relation with my family. You known our family/close friends they change in life everybody have there own learning to do in life. If you don’t see that than your sleeping. Sorry but family/friends can also be toxied and give you bad advice. Because they don’t know, you can’t blame them they also have lesson to learn, we think that your close friends/family is everything for use. I agree they are there for use in time of trouble of problems. Is lovely and sweet to see that. I personally have doubt about there opinion even they are close to me. There opinion is not always valuable . A stranger can help and support you in many ways and even love you. One lesson i learn in life. You always need people in your life, you need those people to become a successful and wise person that’s way you go to school, social contacts, events, learning, you meat other people to learn something in life, if you stop making’s friends that is really something to think about. What about you Dan? Do you trust yourself or friends/family advice, Who is making the decision you or family/friends I don’t blame family/friends they try to help us in many ways. But as a person you will never grow in friends/family, Yes you will grow in life in this case familie/friend want you to be like them. For me is that not growing. As a person you have lots of thing you can give to the world. That’s way we have to leave family/friends to start a family and focus to other thing in life that is greater and bigger for our life. iI hope you understand me. Have a beautiful night. Love you. Thanks✌️💥❤️❤️❤️🌹💫💥💥
The boundaries are in your head. It doesn’t mean you need to stop making friends or stop yourself from open up.
Be yourself.
And always remember, the real ones will stay.
Some of them are lessons, some of them are blessings.
Just expect nothing and accept everything.
That’s my advice to you.
Hope it will help 🙂
Yeah. It happened so that i have nobody to communicate now. Even some small, stupid, everyday stuff. You know, not about 'friends' or deep conversations, i even have no somebody just for easy small talks.
So it hurts. Feels like smth wrong with me.
And the problem is that i even don't know where i should find new people. It's really hard when you're getting older. I just can't understand what i should do, where i should go to.
So of course if i meet nobody so I'll have nobody to talk to, it's obvious.
But that's a real trouble.
DAN hi
From Germany here
I wanted to ask,how much did it cost you to build your house in country side?I saw the video and its STUNNING house....
I want to go and build where my grandmother is from in a country side TANZANIA,I bought a Plot and it's in amazing place.....
All the Best
Omg Danny you are way smarter to than your years and should consider writing a book. Becos of my age yeah I have the wisdom maybe better cos I been there etc. It's good you are already noticing and starting to change. Change makes for a much better Danny and I am super happy for you. I guess I would NVR have the privilege of knowing you the way your good close friends know you but thank you for reminding me despite all that has happened in my life ...friends who cheated on me...friends who are NVR Ard when you really need them despite of me always being there for them thru their darkest moments. It's funny how even at my age I get new friends and within a short while despite huge age differences we have become close . At the end of the day is not the quantity and it's always about quality. You are a truly good person. Be happy always. Love from Singapore ❤️🇸🇬🇰🇷
I've just recently had this very conversation with my lifelong bestie. I've always been an introvert. Large crowds are exhasting for me, and while I will open up when with people I trust, many times I stay closed off because putting energy into anything other than a reciprocated friendship is too tiring.
As an adult who is very comfortable being single with only one friend I consider my soulmate, it can still get pretty lonely, but making new friends is something I feel like I almost always unintentionally self-sabatage. The anxiety of wanting to be liked and accepted and to not come off too strong and scare someone new away is real. But the right people won't make us feel that way.
I've been lucky to find and have the opportunity to nurture a brand new friendship this year and what's allowed it to be successful so far is communication. Communicating the anxieties and fears and making sure both parties are on the same page is imperative for a successful friendship, especially in adulthood.
Being self-aware of our own faults and what holds us back can sometimes be frustrating, and change can be hard, but when it comes to friendships, so important. Your maturity and self-awareness in this video is inspiring and I hope you've been able to find ans nurture some amazing friendships since making this video.
I can't get this bed talk out of my head. I can understand you. I'm a little different than you, but I can understand you. I've only been your follower for 9 months and I'm actually rarely if ever a fan of anyone. But now I've probably mutated into a kind of fan. Can write this here now, because I'm sure that after 5 months nobody is interested anymore. I just saw this bedtalk last week until today.
To the bed talk. You know trust is always a risk and not every situation is controllable. Don't always take a step back as soon as someone enters your comfort zone or your dark world of thought. Sometimes it's worth it. Most importantly, you've created such a great community here. You will be supported and loved in friendship. And you have a great family. I think the connection to your mom is immensely good.❤👍And I wish you a partner who is always there for you and holds you.
But most of all, I believe and hope that you are doing well at the moment. That's great!👌 Even if we will never get to know each other personally because we come from different time zones and worlds... I will continue to support you as a follower. As written. I feel connected to you even though I don't know you personally. Somehow I see many parallels between you and me. Whenever you see the sunrise or the sunset I will be on the other side and believe in you and be there for you.😇🤍💜🫂
Hello Dan,its ur 5th video im watching rite now...a frnd shud understand the situation and cooperate accordingly,the person name starts with "H" alwayz betrayed by others,pushed in corner or they themselves have to keep distance from friends coz we ppl are easily trust on others and easily catch theirs fade friendship...i also have tons of friends but none of them are trustworthy,i only get close to 'H' letter person.And the alphabet starting with "A" and "F" and "H" Persons truely loyal and loves you.,the person staring the letter with "T" we shud be careful wid thm coz they are selfish to us...we may like the person starting the letter with "S" and they also wants to loyal and lovable to you,but they will end up with brutal reasons and they will be self centerd to us...again "R" name parson are just meant to mess wid "H" name person's coz of thr anger and being short temper attitude towards "H"...
Those who are reading my views plz dont get offensive,its my experiences and knowledge by my well known teacher...sorry...
2:40 Aaah the vicious circle of having a "stable" group, then questioning whether you're severely narrowing your horizons, and then risking neglecting them to go make more "groups".
It is ironic--insightful thoughts about friends, from a highly respected and admired guy with (thus far) 40K YT subscribers and 335 comments on this video. I am certain that many of us wish we had the good fortune to be among your good friends. Absent that, I among others, nonetheless do wish you the very best of everything in your life.
new viewer and sorry I wrote a goddamn essay 😅( I apologize lol )I think that society changed a lot especially after the huge use of social networks that lead people to look more for "shallow" friendships then actual deep connections. I'm 25 I did try to look for deep relationships (also because I hate social networks [except for the Twitter phase I had, mostly because you actually don't need to show your life in there, it's just sharing thoughts], I consider myself a weirdo in this matter) so I always did open up (about my difficult past,my health literally everything), be myself ,tell what I thought without sugarcoat (with respect of course), try to reach out to people to check on them and yes also be there when they needed (for example: stay all night on the phone with someone who had a bad period and so on) basically try to be a decent friend. Well it didn't end well. I ended up be attached to everyone but the people just had no worries of lie to me , ghosting and just find some weird excuses to exclude me from their lifes. Every time it did hurt like crazy. I still have open wounds and I still cry if I think how things went so bad with some people and I end blaming and hating myself for how it ended..I overthink ..i shouldn't have done this..I should have said that... And yes if some of these people would text me I would go back to them like a dog , I feel so stupid for this 😭 So I turned to be from a kinda extrovert person to someone that even if I feel lonely I think "it's better this way".. I don't check on anyone anymore and I'm so slow at replying basically because I feel like it's useless. So right now I have literally 0 friends and when I meet some acquaintances I just try to avoid to open up. Also because all of the above I'm single af and I don't even feel like dating because I feel so worthless (I don't even have good body shape because all the shit I went tru led me to indulge too much on absolutely not diet friendly food). I guess I'm the ultimate form of a lone wolf lol So ya you're so lucky to have true friends, there is saying here "who find a friend, find a treasure " i think it's very appropriate especially nowadays ^^
In my life times, I had so many friends and associates. I don't look for friends, the true friend are given when trust has developed through times. Now, I say I only have a handful true friends but still have associates out there that we can meet up every now and then.
Dan, enjoy meeting people, if they will be your friends at the end, great! If not, it's good too...life is getting too short, live your life to the upmost. Your fans loves...much love from USA❤️
Hi Dan, you are not afraid to speak from your heart and what you have said resonate so much with me and I am sure with many others as well
I’m happy to share and happy to read all of your responses :)
I've always been a more introverted person (introvert), but I've always tried to make friends with everyone else. At some point I realized that it is not good because you can't make everyone happy, and I ended up on my own and I felt lonely.
Before the summer holidays after which I was supposed to start high school, I lost what I used to call them my friends.
Only later did I realize that they didn't see me that way.
For some reason I don't know until today, they stopped talking to me. So overnight. They ignored me, acted like I wasn't with them. As if I didn't exist.
This hit me really hard.
It was the first time that I realized how much we may not know someone despite the fact that we spend practically every day with them.
When I started high school, I decided not to get involved in any artificial or false friendships, which made me kinda find myself and people whom I could count on in any situation.
And it seems to me that the most important thing in life is to find just such people who will always help you, and when you need to "kick your ass" so that you can move forward. ❤
Thank you for your bedtalks, as always they give me time for reflection of my own thoughts. ❤☀
You are so right with this. I am 45 now and lots of people came into my life, walked a while with me and than took off. The interest is not the same for everyone about you. Today I have one real friend and I already know her since 1st grade in school. Makes it 38!!! Years. Wow that’s long. When we go out we always have a lot of fun and can talk about everything….you just need one good one in the end. I am very lucky. But I think you are right, it’s not easy at all to spread your life and trust to others….
Thank you for the video 👍🏻😊
Very poignant and very true. 41 myself and as other messages sent to you have implied, age is often irrelevant when it comes friendship - new/old/permanent/loner etc. Very much to myself now, but oten can't decide who i am - an over-dramatic 'no-one loves me anymore'; or simple 'get a grip honey and be happy with yourself' lol. Tough one ....💫
Tbh it's like as I grew up, I wanted more alone time. One should just do what makes them happy and not be stressed about just making others happy. I started thinking about myself as I experienced stuff while growing up.
It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable with such a broad audience, I admire that about you.
Your talks and experiences have been encouraging some of my own deep thoughts of late; I hope you don’t mind if I use some of your creative thinking as inspiration for my own work?
I feel you on the openess and friendship struggles too. I was very much the same in what feels like another life.
I’m seeking balance now too; your talks have helped encourage me to try some new things tbh. Thanks for that 💗🙏🏼 Be well Danny.
for some weird reason sometimes it feels easier to talk to people I can’t see and know very well instead of talking to a friend about these thoughts. it’s comforting in a way to know that I’m not alone and there are other people who share the same thoughts. :)
@@ThizisDanny same 😊
Hi Dan,
Love all your Bed Talk videos.
I can relate to this video.
In my case Covid and Lockdowns have shown me friends were not who I thought they were.
At first we were having Zoom meet ups regularly,
Staying in contact through social media and phone calls during the Lockdown.
After a time ones who I thought were my friends slowly stopped contacting I was the one always checking on them to see if they were OK.
But it wasn't reciprocated I was the one supporting them and trying to hold on to the friendships I was the one who was left upset and broken.
South Korea is a very strong nation, I guess they hardly use theories on english in Universities? They have translate them all to korean, that's what my collegue said. In Greenland, we're only 56.000 people, I wish we can be strong as Korea.
안녕하세요 Dan vous êtes très courageux. Courageux de vous dévoiler , courageux pour votre introspection. Cela demande beaucoup de courage car ce n est ni facile ni donné à tout le monde. Mais au final vos expériences, vos questionnements, vos analyses sur vos sentiments et les situations que vous rencontrez vous font avancer et grandir. Quant à la thématique sur l' amitié que vous évoquez dans votre vlog , cela me fait penser que depuis mon jeune âge j' ai toujours été très sélective : pas plus d un ou deux amis en même temps sur lesquels je pouvais compter. Je ne me suis jamais posé la question si je les intéressais. ..sans doute que oui puisqu' on se fréquentait. Avec le temps, j ai compris que " donner" c était recevoir en retour. A chaque fois que j aide quelqu'un j 'ai l 'impression de "grandir". 감사 해요 Dan pour votre vlog car cela m ' a fait réfléchir sur moi également. A très bientôt 🙏🙏🤗💓🇲🇫
What I've wanted to say for such a long time: Your skin is absolutely flawless. You always take care of your skin - it must be a lot of pressure? Where I'm from, it's ok to have a pigment spot (not sure that is the right word... I'm not a native speaker) - they are called beauty marks (mouche). Some women even paint a little mark on their face, because they feel it makes them look more interesting or unique. Also, it is ok to wear glasses, or no full make up, or have a little scar... The pressure to always look your best in Korea must be extreme.
You known Dan I have my own opinion about friendship. Friendship is a beautiful thing between two people ore with a group. Is dependent on the friendship self what do you except from this friendship ore group what is the purpose of this friendship? If you known the answer than we can built a friendship or a group. But if you don’t known people, I think will leave you and take distance of you. Most Friendship has to do with trust, love, commitment, joy and respect. I think sometimes God try to learn our lessons. I also had to learn hard lesson in the past about friendship ore dealing with a group of people. You known by learning even is hard you get stronger as a person. If people leave you means they don’t respect you. Yes sometimes people has to leave because you have to grown in life to. I hope you open up to new friendship. Bye ❤️❤️❤️😘💫
I used to also want to have many friends when I was younger and, for a while, I did have many "friends" but I don't talk to any of them anymore. I, now, appreciate having one or two good friends I can count on because quality is more important than quantity. However, it takes a while to get there. One must first be comfortable with oneself to realize all of this. I am happy you have also come to this realization. Life is full of surprises and many unexpected people can cross our paths at any given time. :)
Your words were to me like a bomb going off inside my mind. I could live several experiences similar to the ones you lived and it's been hurting me a lot, mainly be able to apen up to the others day by day. I do like my boundaries, but them keep me stuck and kinda like antisocial. However, I figure you, me and the all ppl living like that DO NOT take it for granted, that's, is any chance yet. Ty for sharing it with us. Makes me feel like understood by someone, even without spoke nothing.
That reminds me of my brother and ex-husband. I used to joke that if either was walking somewhere in the middle of no-where and another person showed up, both would probably be saying, "Hey So and So!) And yes, my brother already knew my ex before we dated. Both can remember names and even phone numbers of people they haven't seen in decades and amazingly, the people remember them! I can't remember a face I saw last week!
Thank u for sharing. Watching from Cali. I understand ur experience. I'm still single & all my friends married, had kids, moved away... We don't have a lot in common anymore & time is scarce due to work. Yesterday I made a decision to call my cousin who grew up being my bestie & we agreed that we have to put in the effort to communicate bc our sisterhood is too important. ❤❤❤❤ much love 2 u bro. ❤️
I tend to avoid making new friends, though I'm always up to encourage peeps whenever I can. I had a very good friend once who was too helpful to everyone and anyone. It didn't go well for him, especially after we went our separate ways. :(
And I can understand the need to make connections, especially when you want to put yourself about for any work you feel should get more recognition. But that's not really what you're saying. I'm an old dog myself, so I'm not all that interested in making new friends. Though, I may have to one day if I ever get more creative. ;)
Hey cool to hear some truth from your life and experience. I made also party and tried to find friends and i kind of made the same experience. It felt Like living in a Cage, because deep thoughts were not permitted in the group, IT felt Like a lot of people tried to live a fake positiv Charakter. IT was all about having a advantage trough friends, not about friendship. Sudddnly some women startet to hate me in the group because i didnt behave Like they wished and after time i decided to get out of the group. Then my way really started, i was searching for sense and really didnt understand why i couldnt find honest people that want Real friendship, IT got even deeper. I saw a lot of evil stuff and i was wondering is the human maybe Born this way? Things that i have never thought about were suddenly opened before my Eyes. One day after work someone betrayed me and instead of getting money for my workshift i had to pay money to the Company...after the workshift i broke in tears crying alone in a parkinglot. I was yelling to heaven something Like this:" God if you are there why are you not helping me?! Where are you? If you are really there help me! Nothing changed at first, after a while i was invited and was Meeting a Christian youth group, they were so Different than everything i ever knew. They made mistakes, didnt behave right all the Time but they were honest, they were friendly, not seeking advantage for themselves , but friendship and true relationships. I found real friends in my church and later also my wife to whom im married right now. I found not only friends, but i got saved from hell by Jesus Christ forever. If you want to find true meaning in life seek Jesus Christ. He is the only way to heaven and my Story speaks of him hearing broken hearts and saving them. Greetings from germany
Maybe some of those who stopped call you was going through the same overwhelming stress as you? The most social ones from my class at the university got depressed from all the social expectations. I couldn't believe that they felt that way, they're were so "perfect". But they did.
I like your voice, I could listen to it for hours...
Dear Dan, I hope you are well !? I hope you are just very busy with your wine bar, who is opening in a few days? I allow myself to ask you this because of this bedtalk about friends, and having listened to your sad music ! I’m a little worried but you said you’d be busy, so I hope, it’s just that, the reason for your silence ! 🙋🏼🥰
I have felt the same way , exactly!!!! For a long time. Sorry to hear you had it like that. Especially for deep people who care about more than the common superficial stuff it is hard. My only best friend has been my husband for 22 years.
We ve always had doors open and hearts in our house for many people, even after having experiences of selfishness from other people. When you have a feeling that some people remember your existence only if they need something, and that feeling of being used. But!!!!!! We still believe in good light , kind giving loving hearts out there. They are there!
It's easy to make friends but it's really hard to get true real friends 🙃
So , when itz comes to friends umm keep your circle small with quality full friends
Hi Danny! The friends who are ‘party people’ can have still have a place in your life. Sorry to hear that you were disappointed by friends. People will come & go & serve a purpose, they can have different levels of your confidence. Don’t be afraid to slowly open yourself up to others again, once they earn your trust. Love you & thanks for sharing.
I can relate a lot. I can 100% say I love my oldest friends, my truest friends. They have seen me through bad times and good times. I have a couple of groups of Friends, but my newest friends I don't open up to, too much. My oldest friends know me so well we don't even have to talk. We know what the other is thinking. I love them and that's the truth. x
I think I'm talkative but only with the persons I feel comfortable with and sometimes people thought I'm an egoistic person which is completely opposite of mine but I really don't know how to change my image around people ...but I'm really happy with myself now ..your stories are really good which I can relate 💜
Soulmates are rarely... these people where you can be really honest, say your darkest thoughts and be safe, because you know they wouldn't judge. Would wish everyone found one...
Hey danny
Really thoughtful video. I am totally agree with that video. Because i also have lots of friends. But i don't make any deep thought sharing friend.
But apart from that friendship is also important for everyone for sharing everything.😊
I can't relate to the friends thing since, I've never had any even through high school. However, I also realized that when I was around 12 that I was homosexual it meant not socializing with others at it means the difference between socializing or dying at a young age. As a result, it's also prevented me from knowing people in my 30s. Despite, being in the country that is seen as "progressive" like the states socially, it's more like 1950. I might be open about my self depending on environment, but all most people see is different sexuality nothing possibly in common. So I always have to weigh do I want to chance knowing someone new or risk getting murdered or assaulted. Despite, the loneliness I find one can accept being alone if they're able to accept being by themselves in their flaws. At the end of the day we're left with ourselves anyway.
I listened to this video a little over a month ago and frequently it has come back into my mind as I pondered over the things you said, your hopes, your disillusionment in the past. It's late for me now but I felt I should listen again to what you were saying.
There are a few lines I recall from a television series I watched many years ago that has stuck with me. It goes something like this - When you start university you are excited, you want to take part in everything, you want to know everyone, you want to be involved. When you start the second year of university, you spend most of your time ridding yourself of the people you met during your first year. Think about it, it makes a whole lot of sense.
For my part, I never consider a person a friend if I have recently met them. They are no more than associates, people I happen to come across and pass a few words. The same goes for people I used to work with, I never regarded them as friends even though I would be with them for some eight hours or more a day and occasionally went out for a drink or a meal with some of them. They were no more than colleagues. School friends, university friends - I use the word "friend" here very loosely - they were no more than people who occupied the same space as me for a short time, they might have felt important at the time but that time is transient. In fact, many decades have disappeared since I left high school and I know just one person from that time. We haven't met up for over 20 years, and before that likely met up in person 3 or 4 times in the previous 20 or so years, but we do have email conversations several times a week. We don't even telephone one another! But I know I can discuss anything I want with her, and she does the same with me. Everything from politics to religion, the price of food to studies (she has returned to university now she has retired from work to complete her Masters in Fine Art), and I listen when she vents about her partner, she listens when I vent about needing another 30 years at least to do even some of the things I have in my mind.
There are times when I think it would be nice to speak with someone, have some company, but, in all honesty, I really can't be bothered going through all the hassle of going out somewhere, making small-talk, wondering if this guy or that guy might be worth a bit more time or whether he is only interested in if I am going to pay the bill or support him if he gets into any kind of trouble or has problems with family. Again, you will have gone through this already and will know what I mean.
A neighbour is just that, someone to nod politely to or say good morning. An associate is someone you might work with or even meet up with occasionally for a meal, a coffee, some small talk. A friend is not someone you meet, a friend is someone who you realise is still by your side (even if metaphorically) years and years after you first met.
I think I realised this a few decades ago when I walked away from a lucrative contract and gave up my work and business interests. I saw that there were many people I knew, people who wanted to talk to me, hang out, appeared to show an interest in what I was doing - when all the while they offered their "companionship" in return for my paying the bill and for them to be able to brag to others they "knew" me. I smile now because they actually knew nothing about me.
What did I do afterwards when I found myself jobless and almost penniless? I woke the next day and smiled. I had drawn a line, yes, but in my case it was drawing a line between the past and the present. Nothing in the past mattered, it couldn't be changed, so there was no point even thinking about it. I learned quickly how to enjoy my own company, how to do things for myself, how to enjoy even the small things in life that I had been far too busy before to notice. I carried on writing, I guess it was in my dna, but realised I was now writing for myself, for my own contentment, not writing to any formula to try and please publishers or readers, not even considering normal publication. And it makes me happy knowing that I am living for myself and not having to worry about rushing off to meet this person or that person, prepare for meetings, compromise, give up valuable time in order to satisfy others - who I knew were not friends and never would be friends (perhaps I have a different definition of friendship?). Politeness is essential, help others where possible, but never to the detriment of yourself. And, if you are not happy with yourself and your existence, you can never really help others.
I do take your point that you often hope that conversations can be deeper than the superficial chats about general things. It is never easy to come across people who have that desire - most people I know who are married or have partners, both gay and straight, really don't "talk" to their partners, everything is superficial. But there are people who will listen, who will enjoy listening, who hope to understand, and who will open up and talk to you - but those people are the casual associates who, over a long period of time, become friends.
I haven't drawn a line that says I won't bother to meet new people "in person" or hope for a "friend" in the future, I just don't bother to look because, as a beautiful folk song says, Somewhere along the road someone waits for me.
Just remember, people suddenly click. There is no magic formula, and often the person who becomes the most meaningful in our lives is the total opposite of the dream we have. That's the way of life. For you, enjoy the people you happen to meet but regard them just as nice (or otherwise) people, people you might encounter again, people you might superficially chat with, and it is always possible that one of them will become what you hope for over time. And, while you are waiting for what might seem the impossible, you will continue to develop as a person, you will enjoy your Self, you will understand yourself more, and the happiness you feel from simply waking up in the morning and being able to smile because it is a new day will be really infectious.
Okay, I have typed far too much but spending most of my time alone gives my brain a chance to run riot with my typing fingers lol Besides, if something is worth saying then 2 or 3 lines is never enough. In a nutshell, just regard the people you meet as people you meet - friendship, like love, can take time. Hugs, Stephen
I've been walking a lot lately, my phone doesn't ring and I don't even receive text messages with a simple phrase "hi, is everything with you?". I don't have any friends, they disappeared over time, and it's always the same excuse "life is hectic". I learn to be my best company, to like who I am now but having a deep conversation with someone is difficult. People don't want to connect, they have no interest in getting to know a friend deeply. I don't give up on people and I know my soulmate friend is out there waiting for us to connect.
Dear Dan.
Wonderful video. Fantastic visuals.
Towards the end you say you hope you can change.
You don't.
You experienced the extroverted world with your introverted self.
And you came out knowing better.
I have realised (as an introvert) and someone much older than you, that if you are your own best friend, your real friends will find you more easily and never let you go. You will never be without real friends even if very few. As you are so true to yourself. And that is something rare. Very rare in todays age over social media overload...
I don’t think you have anything to worry about, because you have already done the most important thing which was recognize that your past relationships were “a mile wide and an inch deep”. It sounds like you are on a very contemplative and important journey of personal discovery. Take your time and have fun.
I’m an introvert so i never really enjoyed hanging out with superficial friends. I’m glad to have just a handful of close friends. At the end of the day, it’s not the quantity but quality that counts. 😊
It is better to have a least one true friend that sticks closer than a brother, than a gaggle of fair weather friends. I think today's social media gives our young people that wrong idea of friendships. At 65, I can count on my hand the number of true friends that I have or have had. In my opinion, the best friends are the ones you don't need to babysit, to show that you are friends constantly. We shouldn't have to call every day and twice on Sunday to prove our friendship. As adults we are all busy, and we get together when we can. We see each other at church and normally eat lunch or dinner together afterwards. Some live across the country from me and when we talk on the phone it's as if no time as passed at all and we can just pick up where we left off. We are always there to help each other in a pinch. We pray for and encourage one another. Don't be afraid to say "No" to gatherings, it's exhausting to over book one's self. You are very charming man and they will invite you again. Also, true friends will forgive you no matter what, because they love you for who you are and not what you can do for them. They have probably gone or are going thru the same think you are, wondering who their true friends are. One certainly can not base friendships on how many phone calls or messages one receives. A friend in need, is a friend indeed!! Supporting you Dan in prayer and being a subscriber to your channel. :)
Val from the Pacific NW, Washington State. USA
It's about trying to get friends in order to 'get' something out of a friendship. The real friendship is to find out who I can help.
that also may be true :)
Just stay open for new friends and brave to express yourself, and the right people will find you! It was always like that in my life. Right people came to me and they stayed. Some people do leave , we can do nothing about it. i have noticed, more i was trying to get "friends" more of false ppl i caught. Then i just relaxed and lived my life. I don't feel like i need to fully open my heart to everyone the same way...For one friend i open a certain edge of my heart, and for another friend i open another corner. And some corners can stay shaded for myself, where i let nobody, but God.
Currently headed in the opposite direction. I actually do have really good friends that I can call or message anytime for anything ... or I used to. Everyone is just busy now and although I always have time and space in my life for them, I don't feel that energy being reciprocated and it saddens me deeply. I don't open up to alot of people. I sit in the corner of a crowded room and watch others... thats my comfort zone. I admire what people share and grieve my loss. I'm not sure which phase of life I'm on, Idk if things will get better or worse, I just hope to have the strength to keep carrying on and be happy 😊
I'ved watched this video 2 months ago were my relationship with friends are better and good and now as I watch it again I realized somehow friends come and go.Our relationship/friendship started to fade.....
True. Its not easy to find friends. Kinda sad. And there are so many broke friendship. 😕 Making friends but don't feel really good. There are very close one but thinking that there are a limited is painful. So I try to just enjoy the moment with them
Being in process of having true people around me, can fully understand your feelings and thoughts. Also have been heart broken as have been misled by fake feelings by fake people I have trusted most. However am grateful as they have helped me realize who I am and what really wanted. A great friend of mine even told me not to close my heart and not leave my trust to other people because then will be as an empty shell. So nowdays I cherish any moment spending with people who accepting me for who really I am. So the few people they know you well, will understand you. The people will not understand you, they have never known you sincerely. Goodnight Dan💖
Wow, well Dan, life will take us to, through, over, under places. I didn’t have any close friends either. With three brothers and no sister. I do not bond with girls, could not get through with emotional connection. I did try to not feel until I got older, now the true friends I have were my friends from elementary years. I still stay in touch with them after forty years. I stop looking to find new friends. I now just take it one day at a time. When it happen you will receive many blessings. Good luck and thank you for being my friend Dan
Ya you are right same as me all day I was very deep sad and lonely but one this that changed me that is book . I like to read book .So one day my bro give me book of H.H. 14th dalai lame's book . Most of world know him that maybe here you yugs know him think so.
Book Name : The Arts of Happiness . It was very good. But in india it was very hard to get this book . It help me a lots of my thinking .
Drawing a line is very important in any relationships. if people know too much about us, it gives them the power to hurt you, attack you pull you down etc etc. but if you set a boundary, they won’t know how to do that to you (just a personal opinion). Having said that, everybody needs somebody and sometimes we do need to cross the line or let others cross the line- so all we need to do is be mindful who we allow n where we want to belong. Because people care too much about the validation of others on us, it is frustrating but then I live by the line “don't walk around like u r the king of the world...walk around like u don't give a damn who the king of the world is!!”
I love meeting new people and making friends. These days everyone is to busy to put in the efforts for good quality friendships.
Good day Dan... I can not agree more with you ... but you should look always for friends you will find a true one... for me all my friends are away from me but I try never to skip a day talking to them even by simple Good morning messages even if I don't receive any reply... Thank you for your time ... take care please..