It’s ok to walk away from friendships | bedtalk ep.4
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ต.ค. 2021
- This is just my personal opinion from my personal experience! I'm sure everyone has different experiences and different views on this :)
#bedtalk #bedtalkbydan #storytime #pillowtalk #koreanstorytime #comforttalk #friendship
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Dan, I was so stunned by what this 5 mins video has which is relevant to what I'm experiencing these days.
It is not often to find true deep and acceptable content in YT away from trendy and entertaining content.
I lived in 7 different places besides my home during my med school years. I'm currently in my last year. So I know how it feels to go to a new place every time.
I was meditating and answering psychological questions about my own life and I finished part of the 3 days ago. And I came to realize the same results that you're talking about, regretting neglecting my precious few true friends and hurting myself all these years rather than caring about myself more my family more my few true friends more, I came to realize that I have to stop engaging into new superficial friendships that took me much time and psychological effort to make it. Just as you said let it go and treasure my true old friends.
I talked too much. But this is the first video I picked when I viewed your channel. And I felt so touched by this talk.
Thanks For sharing the same mindset
keep the good work.
I found your channel from Mehdi by coincidence. Thanks for this coincidence.
Hey Dan.. thanks for another wonderful bed talk. Your calm voice and the environment of the video makes these serious topics so easy to understand and relate to. I think most of us have faced these issues.. knowing that a relationship is getting toxic but not being able to move out of it, blaming ourselves and taking the burden till we get the maturity that it's a two way relationship and we need to prioritize ourselves also we learn by experiencing these. Your talks are beautiful reminders of one of the best learning of life. Thanks again for this series..eagerly waiting for the next one.
Thank you for saying so! I don't think I'm always right or I have answers to everything but by sharing my thoughts and opinions, I think it creates an opportunity for us to think and exchange thoughts! I'm still trying to figure out friendships but I know how to walk away from something when it's toxic..!
@@ThizisDanny True that! Sharing thoughts and opinions always helps in getting a different perspective. 👍
I’m older than you Dan, and I’ve learned over the years that some friendships are only meant for a season. Enjoy them, have fond memories and move on. Then there are those so called friendships that are overtly toxic that start off as minor slights then escalate into constant belittling in the guise of “ I’m your friend, but” it makes you feel uncomfortable without knowing why. Those are the ones that you quietly walk away from never look back. They are not true friends. Having a true friend who will always have your back, give constructive criticism when warranted , but said with love is difficult to find. Just like that perfect love partner. Those are the ones you keep and nurture. All the others where just for a season in order for us to learn discernment and what is best for us. Take care. Love your bedtime reflections.
I totally agree with what you said! I think it‘s also kinda a matter of luck to find really good friends! It‘s really hard to find good and loyal friends because we live in a superficial and selfish egocentric society where people get jealous and care only about themselves! It‘s important to work on ourselves because there is a saying „you attract what you are“
While I sit here and listen to you talk, you sound like a "seasoned" 50 year old. I can relate to all of this. My parents moved so much while we were growing up. I only have one close friend after all those years! Sounds pitiful. But that one friend has been there for me at any and all cost! I envy people who still have long time friends for years. Or lived in the same neighborhoods until they left for college. I think that may be why I pretty much stay to myself. I am even surprised that I typed this.......
Finding someone who you can call a friend, not just a colleague, is a real talent and happens rarely. It takes a long time to find a person on similar waves in real life, maybe it's a bit easier online. Often you realize you were only projecting your expectations onto a person who won't fullfill them. Hurting yourself on your own, or making it easier for the other person to use you. With each missed try you have less desire to try all this all over again. Glad that you still find the will to look for new people who might not disappoint this time.
Only experience can teach you to walk away from toxic relationships, friends, family. What I do know is people come into your life , some for a reason, and some for a season, and just a handful remain true friends for a lifetime. Always be true to yourself, those that value your friendship . Love your bedtalks, and your adorable Latte
Sadly this has happened to me recently. It’s not easy to walk away from a friendship as i already invested so much time in it . Unfortunately it reached to a stage that I couldn’t handle the toxicity. Still miss that friend once in a while but need to focus on others who truly care about me. Thanks for letting me know that I was not the only one in this situation
I resonate with you so much on this! I’ve always found it hard to find deep meaningful friendships and it’s become more so difficult now that I’m in my late 20s. I only have a couple of good friends from school and college and have always wondered at how people have an entourage of people who they call friends.
I swear I love your video so much because the thoughts and things you talk about like friendships the "should have and should have nots" are things that I have been through. I never really talk spoke about. But now I do journal and I feel soooo much better. I found with me moving around a lot I would never really open up to others because having to say goodbye was hard for me.
Latte so spoiled with Danny's smile every time he looks at Latte.
Hlo can u be my friend
I think there are friends for different stages and aspects in life - childhood friends, high school, uni, work, family, travel, good time, etc. - and different degrees of friendship. Some deep, some fleeting. But we normally end up with a handful of really good friends who we could be totally be ourselves with. It is definitely good to let go of toxic and/or negative friends who always want to receive but don‘t give anything, people who don‘t add anything positive in our lives, selfish people. But we need to keep our true friends. And if they‘re true friends, time and distance are immaterial. It will always feel like it was just yesterday when we saw each other, even if it‘s been years. And moments spent with them will always seem too short.
Growing up, choosing yourself was somehow twisted to look selfish... until you grow up and learn it's growth.
Hi Dan! Your "Bed talks" are so soft to listen!☺
I consider myself a lucky person because throughout my life I have met great people who are not only my friends, they are life partners. I have also lost many "friends" but I'm convinced that those people had the mission to teach me something.
At first it was difficult to see them leaving, I always thought that I was to blame but eventually I understood that we simply had different ideas and concepts of friendship. In the end, the most important thing is quality and not quantity. I am sure you will continue to meet wonderful people.😆
...trying to fix something that was completely broken...I m much older than you but this lesson is still the same. It hurts the same but the difference from my younger self is that I understand the reason why I have to leave a friendship behind,without feeling bad or guilty, in a better and more efficient way.
Thanks
I've always been a person that would rather have a small group of true friends instead of someone with a lot of shallow friendships. Even with my close friends, we aren't around each other 24/7 - attached-at-the-hip kind of friends and sometimes go months without seeing each other.
The key is to be there for your friends when they need you and for them to be there when you need them... not to be there ALL THE TIME. That doesn't make you "true friends".
well said!! it's not about how often you meet but more about how you feel when you talk or meet once in a while and being there for each other when you need them! I used to feel so upset when my friends don't meet me for a long time but now I understand they actually have a 'life' and I'm happy when we finally get to meet and catch up!!
I really love your bed talks it is really calm and chill and i also always learn new things.
I feels the same with u now , its difficult open to others people as a friends
man 😞 its hard to leave friendships, esp when it feels like you're giving up on the person if u leave after everything youve been through w them. but bc u care sm for them, you end up forgiving them time and time again bc u feel like its what u have to do since ur "friends", no matter how toxic it gets. its starts to feel like its ur duty and a responsibility rather than something mutual. id rather them leave me rather then me leaving them, bc i dont know if i can bring myself to ever leave someone since i know what it feels like to be left by a person i was once close with... its something im still working on lol 👻 but one thing i noticed that really helps is that once u meet friends who treat u better, respect you, and truly get u, its easier to move on from that toxic relationship since people would rather be in a relationship thats toxic than being alone. yup, the fear of being alone ✨✨ damn just realized my problem, bro ur videos are free therapy 😭✋🏾 one day tho, one day hopefully i wanna be able to be comfortable on my own, by myself LMAO when i say it that way it sounds hella depressing, but like being comfortable with yourself, takes a lot of strength and being sure of oneself ;-; but i be seein ur videos ✨ being able to go places by urself, going shopping for yourself, cooking for urself, taking care of yourself not to appease others in public, but solely for urself, it seems simple, but i commend u and anyone able to do these things bc it's harder than it seems. it sounds so foreign to me now but one day ill get there. one day. we all will ^_^💗 ty for these videos, they're very comforting, relatable, and makes me feel like im not the only one w these typa thoughts, twas a great start to my morning and the new year :> i'm rooting and praying for ur success, ik u can do this!!! ik im just a random stranger on the internet lol but watch, ur gonna have 100k soon 😌 i get success vibes from u 🔮
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, i am easy to get along well but i am not easy to approach, but in my work they want my attention, i keep friends who stays with me and let go of others who just disappear😁 i have friends who keep in touch once in awhile but we are close though we’re far away. No pressure, no stress. A simple hi or a little talk that’s fine. Have a nice day.😊
These are words from experience! Thanks for sharing them. Even as adults we already know this but sometimes having reminders on friendships is always nice! Have a great day!
Thank you for sharing this so openly and for being vulnerable, Danny. 🙏Yes, I know those friendship experiences too. Same as you, I`m always questioning myself first when something feels off or a problem pops up, and once I consider someone a close friend, I want us to be there for each other and work through it together, no matter what. My principle is always: Whatever it is, we can always talk about it and find a good solution for both sides. Even if we disagree, we can still respect each other's opinions and try to understand each other. I`m willing to fight for that friendship to a fault. Can`t imagine living any relationship any other way than like that. The very few times I did walk away were very painful big issues in question (betrayal, deception, indifference, etc.). I`ve been generous with giving my friendship since I was a kid and despite being badly burned at times, I still choose today to be kind and loving to the people in my life, be it the ones I only know platonically or the ones I deeply care about. It definitely helps that I`m naturally a bright and warm personality, a smiler, a hugger, a giver, and a „hopeless“ optimistic, who always stands for the good and the kind before anything else in life. I just had to learn to set boundaries and become much more cautious, about who will get special openness and devotion from me and who I can trust with access to the most delicate parts of myself. 😊
Honestly, if a relationship of ANY kind doesn't make you into a better person, it's not mentally healthy for either person or those around them to stick with it. Dedication alone can't make everything work.
This is one of the reasons why I hate when I hear people / parents talk about staying married "for the kids". It's not for the kids, they would be better off mentally if the parents who hate each other just divorce. The same goes for friendships that have gone sour... it's only going to lead to talking behind each other's back, causing a divide between mutual friends, etc.
Dan, I love listening to these bed time talks. They are calming, reassuring and really help me to fall asleep 😂❤
I can say that I’ve definitely been through this and even again recently. In the end after being frustrated about how they hurt me, I decided to let it go and just wish them the best because it was only hurting me since I was the one who held the friendship with value. I let go and there was just so much peace after that! I myself am so much happier now, and I know who are my true friends now. Thank you for sharing your past struggles!
I think when a friendship is broken, it's bad on both sides and especially on your side since you were hurting! I'm glad you are at peace and hope you can find or have amazing friends that you can share all those happiness with :)
@@ThizisDanny thank you and yes! I’m starting to see that having small group of friends like that is the best! But thank you again for your videos🙏🏻
I needed this today. Thank you so much for sharing your life with the world. So blessed because of it! 🥂✨
Not everyone deserve your friendship, or love …. Or care , heart ……!!! Sometimes you have to adjust your behaviour based on another’s actions ….. it’s ohk to be not give full time to your loved once … you have your own life too …. So love yourself…. Do whatever you like … you have your own best life 💫 sending lots of positivity nd happiness to u 🍀🥀
I don't have friends cause I moved around a lot as well. Been trying so hard to make friends but Its been a big challenge, being hurt by people your close to, your own family, it made me a person I don't really like but after listening to this am going to make it this year's goal to make friends. Thanks Danny.
Hi! You are very wise & strong for letting go of toxic friendships. Watching this & learning that you suffered made me sad. Hope you are no longer hurting. Your content is always so fascinating! Keep doing you. You matter. You have impact. Thank you.
Thank you, Dan, for your message.
I had such a friend for 10 long years, and recently I decided to break up.
But it's not that easy for her...
All this time I felt bad that I did it and now, thanks to you, I really understand that it is completely right for me.
Thank you for being so honest ...appreciate listening to your talk...
I can totally relate to this bed talk and also I also used to think that once you became friends with someone , you must spend the rest of your life being friends with that person smh this is so not true .
People change ,things happens and sometimes we just outgrow each other. Maybe it’s my personality but unconditionally and permanently are two are my favorite words so I really which things weren’t that way . Hmmm I guess I’m still learning because I just cannot forget people ( it’s hard for me let me say that ) but holding on some ring or someone that’s no longer there is detrimental to my mental health .
I am in my late twenties and I can honestly say that I don’t have a best friends , I have a bunch of acquaintances but not really a friend that I can count on and it’s suck so much .
I’ve also realize that friendships need to be way easier when we were younger and more genuine too in my opinion.
Anyway sorry for the long post , I just had to get this out of my chest because I truly relate with your words.
Take care Dan . 🙏🏾
Dan…. You are very wise. This is almost like you are voicing an assignment from Psych101
on relationships. As an older person, I would like to say to you and anyone reading this.
Remain true to yourself, if in doubt, always go with your gut. Friendships should be natural, no you will not always agree, sometimes you have to agree to disagree. If you have to work too hard at a relationship, then you may need to analyse as to whether you truly want to continue.
Friendships and relationships are a two way street. Sadly the majority of us find out who our real friends are, when we either have a health, family, career or monetary crisis
It is usually a test to the strength of friendship as to :-
A. who comes through when the chips are down?
B Who helps, no matter how?
C. Who sticks around through thick or thin?
Hopefully you have some that will always have your back. But you also learn who those fair weather friends are. They too have their time and season, but those who offer support and a safe harbour to phone, or be with when you feel adrift are the ones you cherish.
True friends are the gift we give ourselves. I hope everyone finds at least one in their lifetime. 😊🇦🇺
I can totally relate to this especially being a BIG introvert. More power to you ❤️❤️
Great advice, Danny! My grandma always said, "Be yourself. Don't care what everyone else thinks, because if you spend your life trying to make other people happy or fit into their preconceived mold of you/your friendship, then your life will be miserable. But be true to yourself. Don't let another person's limited exposure to your life dictate and weigh your worth as an individual. Don't care what others think. If they are meant to be in your life, they'll take you for all your good things and bad. In fact, you may share the same faults, and that can make you stronger by finding common ground and maybe able to help each other face the challenges/faults."
You know Dan I just needed this ...
There are many questions running in my mind n I got all the answers here.. thank you 🙂
I don't know but I got attracted to your voice so much it has some kind of essence like there is so much to say but no one was there to listen n now it's all coming out from deep ..
Wow Dan we definitely have so much in common. When you have been through so much in life it becomes very hard to trust or let others in. When people dont understand you you can become a target and even be misjudged. Than many people see true friendship in a different way too. Such as some feel it's ok to talk about their so called friend behind their back which is not right this can become toxic it is so much I can speak about on so called friendship
Because sad to say this toxic behavior run rampant among female friendships. But I have learned that through some toxic friends they was never friends at all
These are called Frenemies. Meaning they was enemies all of the
Time but acting as if they were real friends and when its toxic like this you have no choice but to walk away. And as far as soulmates I have learned to view this differently too meaning a soulmate you can have so much in common with this what make a person a soulmate and many people think this is why you have to be friends. But I have learned that sometimes you can walk away from soulmates too. Well once again I enjoyed your bedroom talk and I can see we have so much in common.
Until next time soulmate Lol
Gasamhamnida Dan
Anneyonghigaseyo😊
I really appreciate the content of your bedtalk channel Dan. I am a mature adult female in the US and haven't had a friend in 30 yrs. My coworkers say I am a kink thoughtful person, however because I suffer from a mental illness so many social opportunities are not the proper environment - bar hopping, drinking, the night clue scene aren't within a safe scope for me. I am glad you discussed walking away from a friendship that is toxic because many people feel there must be something wrong with them if they do that, and yet, it should be just part of the many healthy choices we make for our lives.
Next month will be a year since my childhood best friend and I quit speaking. Looking back, it mostly worked out because I tend to be an emotional masochist. I hope they're doing okay and I still think about them often, but I know that we're better off living our own lives. I settled for what I thought was "the best I could do." They're not a bad person, but they weren't good for me. Now, I'm focused on truly understanding and loving myself first, so I can hold on to/make the valuable friendships I know I deserve. I hope they're able to do the same💙
It's really a warm feeling to hear your voice. Be yourself and you be just fine. Yes fights are at times good with real friends becos you learnt more abt each other and once we accept them for what they are and vice versa it's a relationship that would NVR end thru thick and thin. God bless!
This is so pleasing and reassuring to hear. Thank you Dan for posting.
Very good points, Dan. I think this can apply to toxic family relationships as well. If it's toxic, it is toxic-- regardless of whether or not you share chromosomes with the other person. Sometimes folks are each just happier and more peaceful apart.
Hi PoohBear Dan, this topic is a bit sore for me. I have a blood sister, not biological but Blood. We shared each other's blood. We have known each other since kindergarten. Once we were un-separatable. As we got older we changed and she did something that was hard for me to forgive. Many years went by & the death of our (my) mom brought us back together. Long story short we are still friends/ sisters. As for other friends, well I don't really have any because it's hard for me to trust any more. When I let people get close to me they always hurt me and like you I feel guilty and believe I am the reason. Even today I have issues with trust & not in just friendship relationships but all. I've been hurt so much that I believe I've cut people out alot. Thank you for sharing this bed talk it helped to know that I'm not the only one that felt toxic in a friendship relationship or any other. Take care 🙂
I let go some friendships in the begging of the pandemic. It was about time to do this, I was the only one trying to fix the broken relationship. They would hurt me, I would hurt them. I didn't like the person I was being to them, because I really loved them, but I was so hurt that I stopped considerating their feelings before saying or doing something. When the pandemic started I was so worried about them, afraid of them getting the virus, but they weren't worried about my safety at all. That was too much for me, so I decided to leave, even though I still loved them. And it was the best thing I could do to myself. I used to be emotionally depended on them, but now I know how to live alone, and rediscovered myself in the process. Now I know that I came back home, I'm myself again.
My issue is "I don't trust people anymore". It is sad but this is the life we are facing for but i do enjoy friendship and do respect friendship. Indeed, nothing's perfect! Life goes on.... :D
I just need a friend to share all my problems and secrets .I hope in the future there will be a chance for me to go back all Normal like when I am in the past 🙂🙂
Thank you for great advice, Danny
Thank you for another video. This one definitely hit home for me. I also haven't been able to make friends for most of my life. To this day I have very few friends, maybe one or two people I would call if something bad were to happen. I was also raised in a society where you don't really talk about your personal things. To this day, I don't really open up about my personal things to people. I guess it's just how I am wired. Being too open can make you vulnerable and people are known to take advantage of that so I guess I was raised to fight in this jungle that is our world today. I also think some people are just lucky...they make friends early on and they carry those friendships for life. I think it's akin to meeting someone you can marry. Some people are lucky to meet that person, fall in love and actually have things work out and some are not. I don't think there is anything we can do about that because how you get along with someone is uncontrollable. However, not staying in toxic friendships is a smart advice. I am currently in a similar situation with someone and every time I see her I actually feel worse about my life and myself and she recently wrote something to me that I found so manipulative and shady but I still have not said anything to her. She reminds me a lot of my ex boyfriend who made me feel guilty for everything that happened so that is a huge red flag. Anyways, thank you for sharing this with us. Have a great week :)
I used to have a big crowd around me but I realized I didn't have so many true friends that I can call when something happened to me. Having 1-2 friends that matter is way better than having 100 who don't care about us. If you feel like you are in a toxic friendship, try to express your feelings and have a heart-to-heart conversation. It won't be easy but after you tried and the friend is still acting the same, you don't have to stay in that friendship. Hope you can find a way to make yourself feel better!! have a good week also :)
@@ThizisDanny Thank you Dan. I appreciate your thoughtful reply. I will try to do that when the time is right for sure. I hope you have a great weekend too :)
This is so relatable 🥺
Love your narration and voice. So warm Danny. Am a new subscriber for you.
Thank you🤍wish you a beautiful life🪄
Bro, just went here after your ig live, realizing I haven’t watch the episode 3 of your bed talk series😅.
I can relate to this topic someway, because like you, on my high-school and college days, I also don’t open myself for others. I’m just contented living with my own stuff (studying) and just have some casual talks to them. Didn’t know will end up regretting not making friends before, by seeing someone now getting old and still have contacts with their high-school and college friends, having connections, going to a reunion or gatherings and many more.
Before I thought I can live on my own, but as time goes by, I realized that I shouldn’t lock myself and open myself to others and make friends.
Hello, Dan. 😇👋 Thank you for sharing your inner evening thoughts. I'm probably a wee 🤏 bit older than the majority of your viewers however I'd like to encourage you to stay the course of being true to your own heart and soul. We have all been blessed with this deep gut feeling also known as our intuition. Trust it. You seem to have wisdom beyond your years, which is a blessing. I've been enjoying your chats and look forward to more content worth watching.
Please take care and always wishing you excellent health. 💚 Have a beautiful day, young Sir. 🌞🌺👋
I am saying if soulmates are toxic its ok to walk away too.
I've been wanting to leave certain friendships but I don't know how
Lovely and so accurate
This video came at the right time. I've been trying to gradually distance myself from a friend; we're just different people now. But it's not working, so I'm going to have to think of kind words to be frank with.
Sometimes a heart to heart conversation and being open about your feelings work..!
Can totally relate to this.
🙏🙏🙏
This was a really great video to watch and listen to Danny when I was growing up I didn't have any friends and honestly I still don't to this day, when I was contacted by L'oreal which it turned out to be a scam which I found out later my family said don't forget us little people when you become all rich and famous, which made me laugh and smile because I wouldn't be anywhere without my family and honestly I find it hard to trust others and I actually opened up to the wrong people because I wanted friends really bad at the time, sometimes I think my family are my only friends because they know more about me then anyone does, yeah I would like some close friends to talk to, travel with and spend time with and I guess I'm just waiting for them to come into my life.
Oh i’m sorry to hear this story….cos i can’t imagine how you go through this…
For me, it would be something happened which hurt me in deep make me walk away from a friendship….
Few years ago, I still think colleagues could become good friend… but something happened, I realized that is not a certain rule….
I joined a company few years ago (not current job) , their business is so different from my previous career. As a new comer, I tried my best to learn all tasks…My teammates are so nice to share their experiences/skill to me, gathering after work all the time, make me have an illusion, we could be friends….but one day all these suddenly changed, you know Tacit Violence ? That’s really hurt….I don’t know what make it happen at the beginning….I do really hard to make it seems nothing happened in front of my team leader….She may know my situation, but she also know that need to be settled by myself… She can’t help at her position….I took so long to know the reason, someone finally told me one of my teammates thought I like another teammate who she also interested…( I didn’t 🤦🏻♀️, she should tell me earlier) so she defamed me behind my back…During that time, I realized that someone come and go never been controlled…just let go then your life will become easier…
Don’t worried, although that is a tough time to me, but it’s gone… I still want to make friends, but I’ll keep distance and try to know them well before fully open my heart😉
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know the feeling of being excited for a friendship at workplace and realizing it was only me thinking that way.. It wasn't the right place, right time and right people for you back then. I know these experiences can build these walls up around us to protect ourselves but remember there are good people also who are right for you! we should be careful on who to trust and who to open up to but we also need to keep trying :)
@@ThizisDanny Totally agree😊 I’m alright now no worried…
Hi Dan! Thank you so much for this wonderful bed talk.
"Stay true to yourself and listen to what your heart is saying" 💙 👍
thank you for watching again!
Been there many times
Dan your all vlogs are amazing and also it's very heart touching sharing all thoughts and in every vlog it's amazing I really love all your vlogs ☺️ can't stop watching your vlogs again and again it's gives really relaxed my mind ☺️ and also your vlogs makes me happy I hope I can see you forward with new vlogs ☺️
Loved this bedtalk with you,you are right,you know the real and amazing souls will forever stay in your life.See you soon❤
Yeahh..should leave that toxic friendship.doesn't good for your mental health n physic too😉might be u n i can be a good friend😂happy to hear now u had lovely friend that will there for u😍btw..i always move around too.when in my childhood.one school to others.haha😂so only left few frienda from primary school n college😅hmm.can't wait other bed talk story😍
Thanks Dan it's related things to me some friends I'm choosing to leave them and other friends I left them by a situation happened and I regret I lose my college friend ...i close myself.. I won't have friends anymore . I have my sister she my friend
True friendship should make us feel happy and not stress or sadness. It must give us strength and joy. Real friends should be there in our difficult moments and listen to our problems. They have to accept our difects but we also have to do the same. Friendship is not an obligation, it is our choice. If we feel that someone is taking advantage of us or causing us problems or talking behind our backs, then we should remove him from our lives.
Certainly friendship is not something easy, it requires work and effort from both sides. Imagine I'm 4? years old 😭 and after many friendships in my life I have ended up with only 2 REAL friends.
Thank you Danny for another "bed talk"!!!🥰
Well said. Friendships are indeed not an obligation...
totally agreed! true friends are there for you through the good times and the bad! Going through some rough period of my life, I realized who my true friends are! And sometimes thinking and talking about these topics makes me realize I haven't been such a good friend to some of my friends. I think having 2 real friends is amazing!! I'm still insecure about relationships with other people but I'm focusing on healthy relationships that makes all of us mutually happy!
❤
I think that is the one I can relate the most to 🥺 I moved and changed schools a lot, which made me good at quickly making new friends, but I have a hard time building long and deep relationship. As if I get bored and seek the "new". I'm quite "chatty", no taboo subject, but that maybe a way to hide what I'm actually deeply thinking, and somehow I unconsciously build a wall between me and others. Maybe to protect myself from getting hurt when I will leave again. But now I realized that, it is hard, but I'm working on myself, letting go, letting myself trust. What did you do to try to change that? To try to make deeper relationship?
Well to be honest, when I first started to make shallow connections and friendships, I focused on being friends with people who seemed cool and looked all shiny from the outside. but then I saw these friends who were there for me even when I was going through some bad times and I had nothing. they were just there to listen to me and I did the same. I felt like we didn't really want anything from each other but to just be there for each other. I slowly opened up to them and they did the same and I guess it became easier for me to talk about myself. Also, I used to think that some of the things that I kept to myself( like my insecurities) can't be said to others because it's embarrassing but then I realized I have nothing to be ashamed of. everyone has flaws or insecurities! You just need to realize you also have these amazing aspects of yourself to be proud of!
Actually opposite thing happened with me or don't know. I just stop making new friends all together. New classmates, new people, I can see people too clearly, since I am older than my classmates. It's okay though for me. Like I will not meet them.
How did I miss out on this one🙄
But glad came across it, because now I have a feeling that I ain't the only one who had gone through this, specifically walking out on a friendship that was named to be * best friends * ahaahhah....XD felt this one hard though♥️🥺
I have this experience today 😢😢problem with a friend. With her i always feel like she boss me around and I have to do whatever pleases her and yeah not to hurt her feeling I always say yes and next day just once I was selfish and I did with what was against her decision. At first I was like okay I'll do as you like with some personal work but I wasn't happy myself and I put her feeling first than mine. Eventually I listened to myself my own comfort and feeling like how I feel about that stuff.. So I said no to her and at first she was like okay i respect your decision but I know she was saying it with bitter feelings and I don't really care that day about her feeling and today she blamed me for her decision that she had to took like I forced her to do it when it was her own personal matter
I think even between close friends, we should be able to talk and have open conversations. Of course we should do it without offending the other person on purpose, but with open minds and really try to solve problems. Even after you tried hard and nothing is changing, I don't think you should put up with it. Hope you can have a heart to heart conversation with your friend but if it doesn't work, don't hurt yourself trying to fix it alone.
Yeah ur right After my break up I lost all my friends 😭😭😭😭😀 but now I have BTS and k dramas and you ❤️
I'm sure you can find other true friends!!!
@@ThizisDanny Really I have found u ❤️
🖤🌼🖤🌼🖤🌼🖤
Hello Dan,once again bck to old memories and hidden feelings that are unspoken.I Just got this thought again listening to ur bed talk...like how many moments that we have lost thinking about what other's think about us (judge us) n regretting now.
I never had childhood friends cos my parents never allowed me to step outside the house once m bck frm school... neither to my neighbour house to play with kids my age...n the reason is (cast) yes thts the only reason...I hated that though since then n I couldn't speak then ...
N when I entered my teen I lost my dad n suddenly things changed so suddenly n I don't knw where my youth gone n all of sudden I was forced to behave,choose n do things with maturity...
I was scared to talk to people n I guess I still have that in me evn now somewhere deep inside..yet I m here now I don't say I hv frnds but yeah there are people who like talk talk n share things with me from time to time...n yeah I am happy now.
N u hv become one who listens to my story n thankq for that though it may be bothering for you but still bear with it...🙈
Have a great week ahead Dan!
Say hi to ur mom from me 👋
My mother was the same way.... she was controlling and made me come straight home from school and go straight to my room. I wasn't allowed to go out, have friends, or anything like that. She was mentally unstable tho. Luckily, my father gained full custody of us in our early teens and I got away from that unhealthy environment and was able to make friends.
@@Krystal109 so happy for you that u could live the way a teen wants their life to be like 🤗
Let's just be happy n only think abut now right abut this moment n create more memories tht we lost in past n let's live a little 🤗
thanks for sharing your story. We can’t change what has already happened in the past. we can’t do anything about those lost times but we can move on and try to cherish the time we have and make every minute count! I had a phase of childhood when I was so introvert but I changed! I still cautious but I try to meet people because we never know how might end up being our soulmate friends! And yes you can always share your stories here to me :) Thank you really for sharing !!!
@@ThizisDanny thankq Danny 🙂
Also another thing bugs me about her is I thought she treated me like a real friend but hella no.. She just using me for her own advantage I realized that long time ago but I intentionally made myself think that no I'm wrong to think about her like that... Things get worse after this she had a plan to go out the next day (we lived together not anymore) and I was bored so I told her I'm coming with you and she responded coldly like No I can't take you to hang out with me today cuz I have another friends coming over and following day after that she needs to go somewhere and on that day nobody was there so she asked me like can you come with me today? 😅😅I'm not a fool too so I said nope. Retrospecting she needs me only when other friends are not there for her whenever she has others she ghost me like wtf
Loov
That's why my sister deleted my Instagram account and now I am feeling like incomplete and unhappy 😭😭
Hellow. Just saying goodnight mr.Dan .and perhaps a song you can listen. Just for you a just.good rainbow dreams thinking that's all and my daughter like this song,s Name is (she,s gone.) Thank you. I hope you have a good life
Good sleep m'y Friend💋🤩💋💋