I didn't recognize him at first but Dr. Martin was one of my psych professors in undergrad, and I can attest that his lectures are exactly like this. Right down to his hatred for roundabouts.
"If you bring forth what is within you, what is within you will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what is within you will destroy you."
This talk was AMAZING, anger let us ACT when we see discrimination or injustice only if that anger is transform into something positive and productive. Wow! Thanks for this video
I was born angry. Ever since I can remember I have felt anger, frustration. At first I used to lash out towards others, then I learned that you can harness it to achieve things. It activates your amygdala, it pushes you to look forward to things, like a personal vendetta, it increases creativity because now you’re going after something and there’s nothing that’s going to stop you and if something gets in the way you will come up with a plan to either remove the obstacle or go around it, and it increases performance because now you have the drive!
Also be understandable towards angry people. Anger never comes out of nowhere and people always have a reason to be angry. Don't brush off angry people as being unable to control themselves, because they probably had enough and the burden of injustice is too much to bear for them. Don't think they shouldn't break under so much pressure, you would probably get even more mad if you were at their place.
how can you read me? yes, anger it's a sign of something was not right, if you ever facing violations, mock, bully, and you'll keep silent/ avoiding your anger, it probably results in mental illness or some destructive behaviour..... but you define it correctly on people who have anger problem....
Anger saved me from a life of serving people who will do me more harm than good. The one time I let anger go and turn the other cheek I left my job and moved to a bad neighborhood. I lost everything. We are angry because we sense that someone is taking advantage of us. If you don't follow your nature, you won't see the real picture.
Beautiful. It was an eye opener. Being labelled aggressive for reasons unknown to the rest. It is refreshing to actually accept that you can get mad. The channelling of the energy is still a work in progress. Thank you.
@SAITAMA Angry people are usually trying to be scary. But there's always people out there who are so good at looking calm/happy/etc. that no one can tell when they're not. I'm perpetually pissed. I've done a lot of things that I can't take back. I'm never totally fine. But I've got it all tied up with string. Just. Don't. Pull. The. Strings.
Been married for over 34 years and in a relationship with her for four years prior to that. I still get angry but not as much as before AND never lonely.
I tend to hurt myself when I’m mad at someone, especially if it’s a unfair situation. the feeling of pain, although i know its not real and just discomfort, and the sight of blood leaking out of my fists seems to calm me down from not hurting people I am angry at. Then I reflect on it and begin to cry and realize I could have probably just sent someone to the hospital out of my anger. I have been dealing with this by powerlifting seriously and bodybuilding to keep me calm and collective. It just makes me really sad though the idea of hurting anyone..
well, do a search about the lizard brain.... if you understand how it happens, you'll never feel the urge to be angry anymore. i hope it will help, stay strong
The main issue is that I get tired of people looking at my mistakes and they tried to judge me and no matter how hard I try to avoid any situation like this I be ending up getting into a fight with them because they keep judging me for something I did wrong and idk why they do that and yet they acting like they never had made a big mistake before in their lives and its true I've been there done that.
@Allison Bauch The main issue, is that some people are fairly patient, but when someone starts to annoy them in any form, they seem to ignore it or try to convince them to stop... but when it escalates to them starting to get physical, the patient person is bound to unleash
Usually the emotion we experience right before anger is fear. If we spend a little time to explore what we are afraid of we can better understand where the anger is coming from.
To which many DNA angry people would say, "Mind Your own Business, Sunshine." Sometimes there is no deal. You'd Deal with the Devil and All her Minions and God and Hers: if it would give you one more day. one of those child-like innocent Perfect Days. One more half-day with that Loved one that you've Lost. And how did they die? A lot of pain? Fear? Hate? Confusion? Horrible ways to go. The days before everyone was paranoid about pedophiles. Billionaire Child traffickers that steal, kill, addict, abuse, and destroy lives. Some, he just made disappear. Out the door of the Lolita Express over the Ocean: Shark Alley. Poof gone. she O'D'ed on the Heroine, THAT HE GAVE HER. Little Girls. Allegedly. Mad. Yet? If not. I want whatever Drugs, or religion, you are on.
9:58 Lovely line. I've read a similar theory in the book Emotional Intelligence. We adapt our world to ourselves faster than we can keep up with it emotionally because we evolve slower than we adapt our environment, according to that line. I found that utterly interesting because it makes so much sense to me. I like this speech. You came with good arguments and you called me off-guard with that key-commend. :)
People who always get mad are actually nice and very down-to-earth people. They don't hid feelings. People who do not get angry easily hide their true feelings.
@ItsOnlyDanny I agree. Depend on personal level, but for me I was a destructive kid myself in my early childhood, however now I even care the life of animal and do not even want to kill the ants by foot. I think some of successful people are the opposite of me. They don't even care ants' life, but it they're not self-centered and arrogant, they wouldn't been successful in this cruel world.
Anger, resentments, and unforgiveness are things I have struggled with for many years and even though it's getting better, I still struggle. I have worked with a therapist on it and worked the steps with a sponsor on it and I had to write down my resentments and how they have effected me so I could see the damage and have motivation to let them go. I also had to write down my part in the resentments so I can see where I was in the wrong, make amends, reconcile relationships if necessary, change my behaviors, and build my character since we play a part in conflicts. Now this does not always apply like in cases of being abused. They told me how resentments only affect you, not the wrongdoers. Somethinf else that helps me is trying to understand why people act how they do for example mental illness. Now this is NOT justifying or condoning their actions, just helps to have compassion and wish them well. It's also good not to get revenge not only because of the consequences, but also there will be justice and they'll get their karma. Now if they change good for them and forgive them if they make amends. It helps me.
heey, thanks for the nice talk! I have this experience to scream and run and feel anger in every part of my body. its never focust on humans or living things. i feel my bounderies and my own motives speaking. taking a stand. and it is the best source of energie to change things in the world. when I let the anger out it is feeling so right! so liberating and natural. i have talked. it feels like strong and powerfull healthy mesculine energy. since 1 year now i am living on the country sight with not to much neihbors and for the first time i am able to espress and scream without concerns of neighbors. i feel how much energie it took me before to deal with that anger. to supress it. i recommend everyone who feels like they hold their anger in. FREE IT!!! LET IT TALK TO YOU!! it helpt to talk to partners and friend who are close. so they understand whats happening. good luck! and enjoy
I had an experience of using anger productively once : I was preparing for an examination and I wasn't doing good . My parents and teachers criticised me because of my low scores in tests . I felt very angry and ashamed at that time . One day I decided I WILL show them how capable I am , and then I could be the one criticising them for THEIR mediocrity. After an year of hardwork , I succeeded . But by that time I wasn't angry anymore .
Thank you for this. We are told to never be anger so are go to response is to shut down. But my dog was being attacked by coyotes and if I didn’t love my dog. I wouldn’t be upset enuf to run after my dog into poison oak to save her from the coyotes. I am also experiencing some injustice that I need to hire a lawyer for now I don’t what to and so wish it could be done just by talking. But I didn’t care about what needed to be done I wouldn’t. So thank you so much. This gives me a sigh of relief. Somethings are worth fighting for.
Remember-Anger is healthy 👍🙏❤️even thinking about this calms me somehow which is cool 😎 plus if I get angry accidentally I can forgive myself more easily. This person is genius
Yes indeed people are always throwing their anger around & abusing others with it & no it’s not ok. They should be getting their anger out cathartically in a way that harms no one yet even when I give clients exercises to do so they never follow through because deep down people are afraid of anger. And most disturbing is how no ever throws love around the same way as they do their anger.
I suffer from intense anger but I also have an huge need to hyper analyze every time I get strong emotions. I noticed my anger stems from the times I feel powerless and impotent to a situation. This realization doesn't help my anger much but I have a better understanding about a close family member who has worse anger than me and it's put us on bad terms. I feel powerless because he's so powerless now I'm angry again. Such is life.
i work on a computer and most of the time im on what seems to be a wild goose chase, install this dont install that blah blah blah, anyway i do it all and it still doesnt work... so the problem with that is when you get angry you want to punch people in the face and yell... but when you are on a computer you have to sit still and be very small in the movments with your fingers etc its very exact... also to figure out the problem you have to be calm, because the angrier i get the more difficult it is to understand because im so distracted by the anger... back in the day you can get angry and use it to move a big stone out of the way, or fight a animal or fight your way to the top of a mountain and it was a very big physical thing to live etc... but now it becomes an impediment in that it makes it difficult as i mentioned above
wtf, that dosent make sense, it makes sense.... ''People only hate anger when they're not the one having it.'' because no one likes when someone is angry, but they themselves are not angry. (thats why people say, dont get angry, calm down etc) do you like me punching you in the face, no ofc you dont, unless you're a maschochist.
👏👏😘👍👍 - it was many times I've read in comments on TED - "..it was the best speech on TED I've ever heard..." - now, it is my turn 😳 - It was The Best speech I've heard among all speeches I've listened on TED for the last 2-3 years of my experience to choose the speeches, available here - on TH-cam... - THANK YOU!, - 😘👏👏👍👍🌟✌🙏💗
what about if we do not feel anger in the moment of injustice/mistreatment, but feel it later on? how do we feel anger in the moment and respond accordingly?
Brilliant Ted Talk. Even The word angry sounds aangrrhhee but Ryans talk shows the emotion is not our enemy if it can be channelled. I thought I had some old NEANDERTHAL JEANS , Found them in a bog in somerset, Label was worn, think they were Stranglers ? Keep calm and carry on ❤
Then hope (and I of course wish it for you) that you don't get cancer, MS or another disease which correlates with suppressed feelings. Read for instance Gabor Mate for more about that.
@@christophmunch4796 I hope so too, but I don't think that's what's happening. What often manifests as anger to other people makes me cry. I do experience frustration directed at people and situations, but not the physiological characteristics of anger.
The Prophet Muhammad said : When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down. Abu Dawud Book 036, Hadith Number 4764
My wife has anger issues, i wind her up and use her as a weapon against the injustices of the world. Believe me, you don't have a weapon as powerful as my wife, she's unstoppable :0)
I get angry when my girlfriend hasn't eaten enough. Because when she doesn't eat she is mad about everything, she is mad that she is hungry, she is mad that she has to eat, she gets mad that she doesn't eat so her solution is to refuse to eat... oh, and she is mad about everything anyone does and doesn't do at the same time. So don't let my girlfriend get hungry. That will ruin the day, even though you have tonnes of fantastic food, once she is hungry she is hungry until the next day when her hunger finally overcomes her madness. I have a really difficult time understanding the evolutionary benefit of being hangry.
Oh man, your gf's behavior sounds like it's rough. Or you make it sound worse than it is. I have a friend who gets testy when she hasn't eaten but is just fine after she eats. What you describe is irrational. Maybe bring it up with her sometime, when she isn't hungry, tactfully.
@@mmmk1616 Nah, the best tactic is that simply tell her very angrily to eat, and she may do it reluctantly. She is very aware that she is stupid when she is hungry. No need for taking it up tactfully. :D BTW, she is the worlds kindest girl when she has food in her belly.
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." the Word of God (Bible)
Hm. I do have a rage problem. But I don't experience anger the way he describes it. I just get insanely angry, not thinking anymore, not catastrosizing or anything. Mad. blind. irrational rage. No thinking. I cannot listen to rhat anger. If I give in to it, I start smashing things. I have to go be alone and meditate or listen to music or go for a walk to make it go away.
Pacmanshooter I was the same way.. Let's just say if it wasn't for meditating I would be in prison or dead right now.. We have to learn to not let the thoughts and emotions we are experiencing control us.. Repeat this everyday "I am the master of my mind, I am the master of my reality ." "Thoughts are just thoughts they have no control over me " it takes practice but the more you're aware of reacting the better it will get
I also started to scream like 2 years ago . It helps to get rid of any anger or stress.. When I scream I feel so powerful and afterwards I feel calm. I learned on TH-cam if you ever want to try it. Listen to Disengage - Suicide Silence .
@@Fallingawayfromme1111 Thanks for your advice. I cannot do the screaming as it is too destabilizing for my psyche - I do suffer from C-PTSD and the screaming happend in a rather.. uncontrolled fashion on its own, for some time, and I had to get it under control. My rage used to be worse than it is right now, but sometimes it suddenly happens and catches me unprepared,- problem with thoughts is that that wouldn't work for me. My mind is a very rational place - but the rage completly shuts off my mind. Thankfully I usually have enough control to just shut away from everyone and leave. Though it ruffles a few feathers sometimes, but I think that's better than hurting anyone. I don't think I'm in danger to become too violent right now. Was worse a few months ago. Anywho. Hope you're doing okay too. I'm happy you found a way to deal with it.
when my significant other gets angry, I somehow mirror that too. but I soon realized that I'm just in a "monkey see monkey do" situation. lately I try not to mirror anger. but then I feel guilty when im not angry , especially when anger arose from some stupid silly little thing. I feel guilty because that person feels anger for hours and hours and I can "just let to go" . is anger something people (people with rage problems) enjoy, or maybe not enjoy, but neccasary to be sane in our current environment.
I am a fanatical collector of quotes. Mohandas Gandhi has perhaps my favorite quotable phrase. He said that properly channel anger is the most powerful forces of good in the world. And that anger is like electricity, It can light a whole village, or Electric You.
if being mad is a good thing then why we human hate it so much when someone other than us is being mad or angry .. be a strict person is way much better than to be an angry person .
I try to be as peaceful as I can not for the world but for my inner self But everyday we keep facing racist ignorant people and that just makes me soo mad I start yelling on the street and feel like I got anger issues but nothing else bothers me except that I don’t know how to react in those situations but I shall keep learning how to reach the other person mentally without all this separation
Maybe you got anger that is repressed in your everyday life. Change your life and surroundings to avoid frustration. Also find a way to release aggression, for example boxing, making and listing to aggressive music, breaking non-valuable stuff like paper, shouting in a pillow or shouting some where nobody hears you or other. It isn‘t wrong too, to defend yourself verbally, without attracting to much attention, against people that treat you unfairly. I‘m no psychologist, but I hope this helps you.
What makes me mad for the last few years is the guy living above me. His Uncle let him move in and he is just a young guy who can't or won't interact with the world. He sits in the bedroom which happens to be above mine. He thumps and bumps his video game whenever he hears me making any kind of sound. He runs the power drill along the wall or bathtub, he kicks door stopper. He never goes out and he is always waking me up between the hours of 10pm and 5am. I can feel his anger running down my walls. He fights with his Uncle who even wants him out. But he has no where to go. His parents unceremoniously dumped him on my head for me to deal with. He only goes out for necessities and has no social life whatsoever. Only the internet.
A man came to the Prophet Muhammad and he said, “Advise me.” The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Do not be angry.” The man repeated his request and the Prophet said, “Do not be angry.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5765
if someone called you dumb (stranger on forum), even when you respect him at first. but they didn give you slight of respect. should i reply with soothing word or get anger? because i got anger and block him. because both of us didn get any gain at all.
I was super angry at the people closing the gate to my stairs after a fire had happened on the balcony upstairs. I tried communicating through the landlord, writing a keep open sighn, and nothing came of it. Finally i got so upset when it was raining and no kids were running outside that i ended up banging on the door. I had a cup of tea and tried to collect my thoughts. They didnt open the door finally i left and went back to my house they opened the back door and we had a good spat. Hopefully they had listened when i asked them to close their own gate instead or to open the gate after the kids were done outside. Anger is strange i guess it was created from not being listened to on a danger possibility.
I agree with everything he says it’s just these talks are so *vague*. Like, they tell you to manage your anger but not *how*. Simple platitudes make for a pleasant talk but in reality I think many people watching this (and most other ted talks on similar areas) are looking for real, tangible tools they can use when they find themselves in the situations that provoke their undesirable feelings. Seems like a nice guy though.
The reason there are bad people who make us angry is because of a bad value system we live. Every emotion (guilt, happiness, anxiety , depression ) turn into anger if these emotion crosses an internal threshold. As a result of these threshold we develop a system in our mind . This system is called our value system . Collectivity it defines the value system and culture of a society.
This is why when angry, one must use that primal energy force for self advancement. We can’t think ourselves out of anger because it will fester and grow internally the more we pretend to fake happiness externally, or express what some call toxic positivity, which is just a colorful phrase for someone who’s delusional and incapable of confrontin there problem.
My anger toward something is complex. Has anyone ever gotten so _tired_ of someone they see constantly? I feel we see my mom's sister more than my two other aunts (her sister in laws), and I think I'm annoyed because...they're my favorites over the maternal aunt. I get to see the aunt I'm most annoyed with (secretly) than the aunts I enjoy, and I guess I feel that's not fair. It's her, her, her, her, her. Sisters can be SO annoying, even as moms (with the sisterly comparisons, you know). Besides, I think I resent their relationship a bit because I'm a brother with only sisters, and I feel brothers are less important to sisters? You know, brothers are for brothers and sisters are for sisters? Like I said, it's complex. Is it possible how I'm feeling is actually normal, so I'm not being a bigot toward my one and only blood aunt (without her knowledge)?
Anger is protective. Unleashing your fury on someone who encourages you to remain a victim is the best thing to do - on paper. But choose. i once told how angry i was to others - they sent police to my door.
Lord Buddha said, "Anger is like drinking poison but expecting the other person to die." A lot of our behavior is counterproductive to what we really desire, what we seek. Because we are eternal spiritual beings, we desire spiritual love and happiness. According to ancient wisdom, another person in this world cannot make me truly happy in the long run. Yet, we always try to blame others for our anger. Anger is a condition of my own heart, of my consciousness. When anger resides there, all someone else has to do is touch that, and it erupts. When we notice that anger is rising up, then we need to hit the pause button and not act on it. In anger we will do and say things that we will regret.
Directly speaking: this isn't anything new. Anger is one of the emotive responses to stress, and as is with any other emotion, however - anger itself is a direct call to action. It's our 'perserverance/actionable' emotion. The problem, though, depends on what you do with it, and especially in when you do nothing with it.
''Anger is one of the emotive responses to stress'' so maybe society is too stressfull or something, not saying we werent angry when we lived out in nature though, but i guess back then no video cameras either
I didn't recognize him at first but Dr. Martin was one of my psych professors in undergrad, and I can attest that his lectures are exactly like this. Right down to his hatred for roundabouts.
What are roundabouts?
@@mobileandroid5299 an intersection with a circle in the middle
Hilarious 😂
"If you bring forth what is within you, what is within you will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what is within you will destroy you."
@Luz & Fe Nonsense
This is ment for this people you can't seem to stand up for themselves either mentally or physically.
I agree with you!!! You either use the anger and rage towards something positive or it will eventually come out in a negative way!!
This talk was AMAZING, anger let us ACT when we see discrimination or injustice only if that anger is transform into something positive and productive. Wow! Thanks for this video
And how tf you suppose to transform anger into something productive while in traffic!?
If that title is true, then my dad must be the healthiest person ever.
same... :(
So it's not true,simple.
I admire your sense of humor
Hahahah 😂😂😂😂
My dad too
Anger is an emotion just like the rest of our emotions. We have the power to channel our emotions.
2:32 I Felt that. Like everytime that I got angry I felt stronger than before. It kinda gave me strength.
I was born angry. Ever since I can remember I have felt anger, frustration. At first I used to lash out towards others, then I learned that you can harness it to achieve things. It activates your amygdala, it pushes you to look forward to things, like a personal vendetta, it increases creativity because now you’re going after something and there’s nothing that’s going to stop you and if something gets in the way you will come up with a plan to either remove the obstacle or go around it, and it increases performance because now you have the drive!
Wow. Well said, Yesenia! I appreciate your elaborations on anger and the benefit it can have. I needed this today
I was made angry as a child and it never left.
Also be understandable towards angry people. Anger never comes out of nowhere and people always have a reason to be angry. Don't brush off angry people as being unable to control themselves, because they probably had enough and the burden of injustice is too much to bear for them. Don't think they shouldn't break under so much pressure, you would probably get even more mad if you were at their place.
how can you read me? yes, anger it's a sign of something was not right, if you ever facing violations, mock, bully, and you'll keep silent/ avoiding your anger, it probably results in mental illness or some destructive behaviour.....
but you define it correctly on people who have anger problem....
This guys suggestion to deal with anger is to cuck yourself? Im sure that won’t increase anger at all…
What about bipolar disorder or delusional people?
Anger saved me from a life of serving people who will do me more harm than good. The one time I let anger go and turn the other cheek I left my job and moved to a bad neighborhood. I lost everything.
We are angry because we sense that someone is taking advantage of us. If you don't follow your nature, you won't see the real picture.
You will lose more.
@@DavidLee-ge3nx No because it stimulate your brain to get better. Life is not lottery, you can manage it
"That's my secret Ted, I'm always angry."
Same..
Hey Justin, found you again
Hi Justin Y. 👋
Damn Justin is popular 😂
Where you been
Beautiful. It was an eye opener. Being labelled aggressive for reasons unknown to the rest. It is refreshing to actually accept that you can get mad. The channelling of the energy is still a work in progress. Thank you.
@SAITAMA but is those people who control their emotions or generally have it easier than others.
@SAITAMA Angry people are usually trying to be scary. But there's always people out there who are so good at looking calm/happy/etc. that no one can tell when they're not.
I'm perpetually pissed. I've done a lot of things that I can't take back. I'm never totally fine. But I've got it all tied up with string.
Just. Don't. Pull. The. Strings.
Been divorced 8 yrs, never been angry since.
"Don't pick a fight with the man with nothing left to lose"
so what you're saying is to never get married? here I was feeling a bit lonely lol
There's nothing worse than a bad marriage. I have seem my parents go through it, it was soo hard to make it to adulthood
How's your kids?
Been married for over 34 years and in a relationship with her for four years prior to that. I still get angry but not as much as before AND never lonely.
I tend to hurt myself when I’m mad at someone, especially if it’s a unfair situation. the feeling of pain, although i know its not real and just discomfort, and the sight of blood leaking out of my fists seems to calm me down from not hurting people I am angry at. Then I reflect on it and begin to cry and realize I could have probably just sent someone to the hospital out of my anger. I have been dealing with this by powerlifting seriously and bodybuilding to keep me calm and collective. It just makes me really sad though the idea of hurting anyone..
well, do a search about the lizard brain.... if you understand how it happens, you'll never feel the urge to be angry anymore.
i hope it will help, stay strong
same, hope i can take your suggestions for me
:( 💚
Same, I hit my head so I don't scream at customers
The main issue is that I get tired of people looking at my mistakes and they tried to judge me and no matter how hard I try to avoid any situation like this I be ending up getting into a fight with them because they keep judging me for something I did wrong and idk why they do that and yet they acting like they never had made a big mistake before in their lives and its true I've been there done that.
How things going on now? I wonder.
Its ok to be angry, its just you need to be aware and take positive solutions to that particular issue
I listen to Mexican music problem this is solving itself sometimes even road rage.
@Allison Bauch The main issue, is that some people are fairly patient, but when someone starts to annoy them in any form, they seem to ignore it or try to convince them to stop...
but when it escalates to them starting to get physical, the patient person is bound to unleash
Being angry is being insane
Someone give Ryan Martin the noble prize! Well done! Blew my mind!
What blew your mind? A lot of gibberish nonsense talk about channelling anger into productivity?
Wow, this talk was an eye-opener. I hated how unproductive I get when I'm angry and he just taught me how I can channel it to something productive.
i do art its helpful
His talk on Anger was creating Smiles😊😊
I was actually angry watching this lol, I feel better now
@@laeihbvaljefhbvalejfhbv Glad you are feeling better now Julian. 🤗🤗
Same .
Usually the emotion we experience right before anger is fear. If we spend a little time to explore what we are afraid of we can better understand where the anger is coming from.
And grief!!
Anger is unhealthy if you let it fester. If you do not deal with it.
To which many DNA angry people would say, "Mind Your own Business, Sunshine."
Sometimes there is no deal. You'd Deal with the Devil and All her Minions and God and Hers: if it would give you one more day. one of those child-like innocent Perfect Days. One more half-day with that Loved one that you've Lost. And how did they die? A lot of pain? Fear? Hate? Confusion? Horrible ways to go.
The days before everyone was paranoid about pedophiles. Billionaire Child traffickers that steal, kill, addict, abuse, and destroy lives. Some, he just made disappear. Out the door of the Lolita Express over the Ocean: Shark Alley. Poof gone. she O'D'ed on the Heroine, THAT HE GAVE HER. Little Girls.
Allegedly.
Mad.
Yet?
If not.
I want whatever Drugs, or religion, you are on.
Many times, generation of anger IS itself the problem, NOT what you do with it.
True, then you would run away from your problems and meet the devil. You know. The voices in the head.
Ger Loke Yup.
@@christopherneelyakagoattmo6078 It's a choice, Christopher. You choose to be angry.
9:58 Lovely line. I've read a similar theory in the book Emotional Intelligence. We adapt our world to ourselves faster than we can keep up with it emotionally because we evolve slower than we adapt our environment, according to that line.
I found that utterly interesting because it makes so much sense to me.
I like this speech. You came with good arguments and you called me off-guard with that key-commend. :)
It's awesome to be able to share this with students and parents. Thank you for your amazing talk!
People who always get mad are actually nice and very down-to-earth people. They don't hid feelings. People who do not get angry easily hide their true feelings.
@ItsOnlyDanny I agree. Depend on personal level, but for me I was a destructive kid myself in my early childhood, however now I even care the life of animal and do not even want to kill the ants by foot. I think some of successful people are the opposite of me. They don't even care ants' life, but it they're not self-centered and arrogant, they wouldn't been successful in this cruel world.
if people who are always mad how are they nice? I wouldn't want to be around someone who is always mad, they are not very friendly.
Anger, resentments, and unforgiveness are things I have struggled with for many years and even though it's getting better, I still struggle. I have worked with a therapist on it and worked the steps with a sponsor on it and I had to write down my resentments and how they have effected me so I could see the damage and have motivation to let them go. I also had to write down my part in the resentments so I can see where I was in the wrong, make amends, reconcile relationships if necessary, change my behaviors, and build my character since we play a part in conflicts. Now this does not always apply like in cases of being abused. They told me how resentments only affect you, not the wrongdoers. Somethinf else that helps me is trying to understand why people act how they do for example mental illness. Now this is NOT justifying or condoning their actions, just helps to have compassion and wish them well. It's also good not to get revenge not only because of the consequences, but also there will be justice and they'll get their karma. Now if they change good for them and forgive them if they make amends. It helps me.
I can’t help but feel insane guilt when I get mad... this video helps a bit.
heey, thanks for the nice talk!
I have this experience to scream and run and feel anger in every part of my body. its never focust on humans or living things. i feel my bounderies and my own motives speaking. taking a stand. and it is the best source of energie to change things in the world. when I let the anger out it is feeling so right! so liberating and natural. i have talked. it feels like strong and powerfull healthy mesculine energy. since 1 year now i am living on the country sight with not to much neihbors and for the first time i am able to espress and scream without concerns of neighbors. i feel how much energie it took me before to deal with that anger. to supress it. i recommend everyone who feels like they hold their anger in. FREE IT!!! LET IT TALK TO YOU!! it helpt to talk to partners and friend who are close. so they understand whats happening. good luck! and enjoy
I had an experience of using anger productively once :
I was preparing for an examination and I wasn't doing good . My parents and teachers criticised me because of my low scores in tests . I felt very angry and ashamed at that time . One day I decided I WILL show them how capable I am , and then I could be the one criticising them for THEIR mediocrity.
After an year of hardwork , I succeeded .
But by that time I wasn't angry anymore .
Thank you for this. We are told to never be anger so are go to response is to shut down. But my dog was being attacked by coyotes and if I didn’t love my dog. I wouldn’t be upset enuf to run after my dog into poison oak to save her from the coyotes. I am also experiencing some injustice that I need to hire a lawyer for now I don’t what to and so wish it could be done just by talking. But I didn’t care about what needed to be done I wouldn’t. So thank you so much. This gives me a sigh of relief. Somethings are worth fighting for.
One of the best TED talks ever!
Remember-Anger is healthy 👍🙏❤️even thinking about this calms me somehow which is cool 😎 plus if I get angry accidentally I can forgive myself more easily. This person is genius
I ask myself if I will still be angry about something a year from now, yes..then be angry. A week from now, no...forget about it.
You wise. Compassion will arise from this as well.
Thank you for this video! It actually helped me overcome a ton of large business ordeals.
I just wanna say thank you for this man. Because of his talk I can get to know myself more and embrace my anger in a healthu way 😊
*_Anger_* is universal, that means it must have a purpose. What is that purpose? stress relief maybe
self-preservation I think... If you had to fight a lioness you better be angry at it, cos scared you have no chance.
It's only useful when your survival is in some kind of imminent danger.
It's purpose is to give you the courage to tell someone they are harming you.
As stated in the video ... anger GENERATE stress. May be cursing can be considered as a stress relief, as it is a form of verbal fight :)
The answer is stated in the video: to motivate/energize you to deal with the injustice you are faced with.
Yes indeed people are always throwing their anger around & abusing others with it & no it’s not ok. They should be getting their anger out cathartically in a way that harms no one yet even when I give clients exercises to do so they never follow through because deep down people are afraid of anger. And most disturbing is how no ever throws love around the same way as they do their anger.
It's also important to remember that YOUR anger can be just as justified as someone else's provocation.
Sean O'Neill so you are saying that if i get mad at someone it’s my fault that he is mad at me because i hate him?
Best statement- channel ur anger to something productive.
I was today years old when I found out there such an occupation as becoming an 'anger researcher.' You learn something new everyday.
I suffer from intense anger but I also have an huge need to hyper analyze every time I get strong emotions. I noticed my anger stems from the times I feel powerless and impotent to a situation. This realization doesn't help my anger much but I have a better understanding about a close family member who has worse anger than me and it's put us on bad terms. I feel powerless because he's so powerless now I'm angry again. Such is life.
i work on a computer and most of the time im on what seems to be a wild goose chase, install this dont install that blah blah blah, anyway i do it all and it still doesnt work... so the problem with that is when you get angry you want to punch people in the face and yell... but when you are on a computer you have to sit still and be very small in the movments with your fingers etc its very exact... also to figure out the problem you have to be calm, because the angrier i get the more difficult it is to understand because im so distracted by the anger... back in the day you can get angry and use it to move a big stone out of the way, or fight a animal or fight your way to the top of a mountain and it was a very big physical thing to live etc... but now it becomes an impediment in that it makes it difficult as i mentioned above
Okay buy why do I get mad when people ask me if I'm mad? Even if I was literally nowhere close to feeling mad
Go see a doc
People only hate anger when they're not the one having it.
So is that your justification for getting angry.
wtf, that dosent make sense, it makes sense.... ''People only hate anger when they're not the one having it.'' because no one likes when someone is angry, but they themselves are not angry. (thats why people say, dont get angry, calm down etc) do you like me punching you in the face, no ofc you dont, unless you're a maschochist.
👏👏😘👍👍 - it was many times I've read in comments on TED - "..it was the best speech on TED I've ever heard..." - now, it is my turn 😳 - It was The Best speech I've heard among all speeches I've listened on TED for the last 2-3 years of my experience to choose the speeches, available here - on TH-cam... - THANK YOU!, - 😘👏👏👍👍🌟✌🙏💗
I get angry 😡 on small talk if it against me. I have a very poor attitude about always keep my self up. I am really fighting to stop this 😢
what about if we do not feel anger in the moment of injustice/mistreatment, but feel it later on? how do we feel anger in the moment and respond accordingly?
Brilliant Ted Talk. Even
The word angry sounds aangrrhhee but Ryans talk shows the emotion is not our enemy if it can be channelled. I thought I had some old NEANDERTHAL JEANS ,
Found them in a bog in somerset, Label was worn, think they were Stranglers ?
Keep calm and carry on ❤
What gets me really mad is lack of communication and people who change their minds at the last minute 😤
Great talk, thank you so much!
Outstanding, I’m sharing, thank you Ryan Martin.
At 8:13 honestly that’s how it feels when I’m angry
We have to practice the two greatest virtues: empathy and compassion to alleviate anger manegment.
It's a real shame folks dont understand that these days
what if I do or at least try , but your partner is not ?
Don’t let your anger permeate your mind and stay in it permanently.
People aren't always going to be happy, we're not robots!
Actually, many of us are !
I feel the anger... but I can't get it out or express it. People walk all over me because I don't express my anger or protest
I don't experience anger, that I know of, except occasionally in a dream. Anger isn't as universal as some people say it is.
Then hope (and I of course wish it for you) that you don't get cancer, MS or another disease which correlates with suppressed feelings. Read for instance Gabor Mate for more about that.
You must be Jesus
Don't Marry your Soulmate. You will know anger. You only want the best. Outcome. Possible.
@@xd-r-rex-2307
Jesus got angry tho
@@christophmunch4796 I hope so too, but I don't think that's what's happening. What often manifests as anger to other people makes me cry. I do experience frustration directed at people and situations, but not the physiological characteristics of anger.
Great presentation!!!
This video made me realize fake laughs in crowds make me angry.
The Prophet Muhammad said : When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.
Abu Dawud Book 036, Hadith Number 4764
@@pmt1489 change the position
Good advice! Sitting down avoids confrontation. And laying down makes it impossible to physically harm others and allow time to think it over first.
This law is great, how many of us follow it?
The prophet (pbh) clearly knew that anger is bad, not healthy as this person on TED said.
@@virgin_mary_in_islam2469 He wants both way. This talk is not beneficial to anyone.
Muhammad is not a prophet of God.
My wife has anger issues, i wind her up and use her as a weapon against the injustices of the world. Believe me, you don't have a weapon as powerful as my wife, she's unstoppable :0)
This dude is not just well practiced, but extremely humorous, which makes me wonder if mastery of anger increases your humor levels.
The tricky thing is that everyone have their own "justice".
exactly... that statement can be easily taken as a justification for the righteousness of ones destructive rage...
I get angry when my girlfriend hasn't eaten enough. Because when she doesn't eat she is mad about everything, she is mad that she is hungry, she is mad that she has to eat, she gets mad that she doesn't eat so her solution is to refuse to eat... oh, and she is mad about everything anyone does and doesn't do at the same time.
So don't let my girlfriend get hungry. That will ruin the day, even though you have tonnes of fantastic food, once she is hungry she is hungry until the next day when her hunger finally overcomes her madness.
I have a really difficult time understanding the evolutionary benefit of being hangry.
Oh man, your gf's behavior sounds like it's rough. Or you make it sound worse than it is. I have a friend who gets testy when she hasn't eaten but is just fine after she eats. What you describe is irrational. Maybe bring it up with her sometime, when she isn't hungry, tactfully.
@@mmmk1616 Nah, the best tactic is that simply tell her very angrily to eat, and she may do it reluctantly. She is very aware that she is stupid when she is hungry. No need for taking it up tactfully. :D
BTW, she is the worlds kindest girl when she has food in her belly.
is she depressed or have high functioning depression? that would be my guess
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." the Word of God (Bible)
I wish I were like you, easily amused.
Choices made in anger, cannot be undone
This is the gist. I like this way of treating.
Hm. I do have a rage problem. But I don't experience anger the way he describes it. I just get insanely angry, not thinking anymore, not catastrosizing or anything. Mad. blind. irrational rage. No thinking. I cannot listen to rhat anger. If I give in to it, I start smashing things. I have to go be alone and meditate or listen to music or go for a walk to make it go away.
Pacmanshooter I was the same way.. Let's just say if it wasn't for meditating I would be in prison or dead right now.. We have to learn to not let the thoughts and emotions we are experiencing control us.. Repeat this everyday "I am the master of my mind, I am the master of my reality ." "Thoughts are just thoughts they have no control over me " it takes practice but the more you're aware of reacting the better it will get
I also started to scream like 2 years ago . It helps to get rid of any anger or stress.. When I scream I feel so powerful and afterwards I feel calm. I learned on TH-cam if you ever want to try it. Listen to Disengage - Suicide Silence .
@@Fallingawayfromme1111 Thanks for your advice. I cannot do the screaming as it is too destabilizing for my psyche - I do suffer from C-PTSD and the screaming happend in a rather.. uncontrolled fashion on its own, for some time, and I had to get it under control. My rage used to be worse than it is right now, but sometimes it suddenly happens and catches me unprepared,- problem with thoughts is that that wouldn't work for me. My mind is a very rational place - but the rage completly shuts off my mind. Thankfully I usually have enough control to just shut away from everyone and leave. Though it ruffles a few feathers sometimes, but I think that's better than hurting anyone. I don't think I'm in danger to become too violent right now. Was worse a few months ago. Anywho. Hope you're doing okay too. I'm happy you found a way to deal with it.
when my significant other gets angry, I somehow mirror that too. but I soon realized that I'm just in a "monkey see monkey do" situation. lately I try not to mirror anger. but then I feel guilty when im not angry , especially when anger arose from some stupid silly little thing. I feel guilty because that person feels anger for hours and hours and I can "just let to go" .
is anger something people (people with rage problems) enjoy, or maybe not enjoy, but neccasary to be sane in our current environment.
i used to rage if i did bad in gym class, i hated losing, i would flip out. but besides that i dont think i had any rage problems as a kid.
He told very simply things that is known everybody
I am a fanatical collector of quotes. Mohandas Gandhi has perhaps my favorite quotable phrase. He said that properly channel anger is the most powerful forces of good in the world. And that anger is like electricity, It can light a whole village, or Electric You.
kevinsbott I think this helps me Thanks internet random gentleman
if being mad is a good thing then why we human hate it so much when someone other than us is being mad or angry .. be a strict person is way much better than to be an angry person .
i think is a sign of boundaries problem
@@Peanuts76 depends what type of human we choose to be.. cant avoid being mad if youre a coach aite.
@@Sorryitwasplanned hahaha. good thing sir, what kind of team your coaching rn?
@@Peanuts76 didnt say im a coach thats just an example haha.. im just everyone's friends.
I'm the happiest person
Congratulations!
Nevada Kid r/woooosh
Great topic.
“Fear is the path to the dark side … fear leads to anger … anger leads to hate … hate leads to suffering.”
Sometimes i just wanna ignore everything....
sometimes i can't understand when someone get mad, but sometimes i feel mad but i don't know why i think is unnecessary
Agree with the roundabouts
I fell in love with this talk. I love it!
Guess you get angry often...
Your anger is a gift
I try to be as peaceful as I can not for the world but for my inner self
But everyday we keep facing racist ignorant people and that just makes me soo mad I start yelling on the street and feel like I got anger issues but nothing else bothers me except that
I don’t know how to react in those situations but I shall keep learning how to reach the other person mentally without all this separation
Maybe you got anger that is repressed in your everyday life. Change your life and surroundings to avoid frustration. Also find a way to release aggression, for example boxing, making and listing to aggressive music, breaking non-valuable stuff like paper, shouting in a pillow or shouting some where nobody hears you or other. It isn‘t wrong too, to defend yourself verbally, without attracting to much attention, against people that treat you unfairly. I‘m no psychologist, but I hope this helps you.
@@DaDarkForce991 thank you very much. I appreciate the valuable tip
I’ll try that
@@ufot4088 ur welcome :)
@@ufot4088 Its not your fault. People around you are like that, they deserve it.
He's so cute, I love really nervous and at the same time really qualified people. It brings me so much joy :D
What makes me mad for the last few years is the guy living above me. His Uncle let him move in and he is just a young guy who can't or won't interact with the world. He sits in the bedroom which happens to be above mine. He thumps and bumps his video game whenever he hears me making any kind of sound. He runs the power drill along the wall or bathtub, he kicks door stopper. He never goes out and he is always waking me up between the hours of 10pm and 5am. I can feel his anger running down my walls. He fights with his Uncle who even wants him out. But he has no where to go. His parents unceremoniously dumped him on my head for me to deal with. He only goes out for necessities and has no social life whatsoever. Only the internet.
anger + resolve = growth
Thank you Ryan.
A man came to the Prophet Muhammad and he said, “Advise me.” The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Do not be angry.” The man repeated his request and the Prophet said, “Do not be angry.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5765
Yes I agree with Ryan is right and that’s true I don’t get mad anymore then
if someone called you dumb (stranger on forum), even when you respect him at first.
but they didn give you slight of respect.
should i reply with soothing word or get anger?
because i got anger and block him. because both of us didn get any gain at all.
confront them, and if they keep you annoyed, block them.....
or you might channeling your anger in a better way, as people said in this comments
I was super angry at the people closing the gate to my stairs after a fire had happened on the balcony upstairs. I tried communicating through the landlord, writing a keep open sighn, and nothing came of it. Finally i got so upset when it was raining and no kids were running outside that i ended up banging on the door. I had a cup of tea and tried to collect my thoughts. They didnt open the door finally i left and went back to my house they opened the back door and we had a good spat. Hopefully they had listened when i asked them to close their own gate instead or to open the gate after the kids were done outside. Anger is strange i guess it was created from not being listened to on a danger possibility.
I agree with everything he says it’s just these talks are so *vague*. Like, they tell you to manage your anger but not *how*. Simple platitudes make for a pleasant talk but in reality I think many people watching this (and most other ted talks on similar areas) are looking for real, tangible tools they can use when they find themselves in the situations that provoke their undesirable feelings.
Seems like a nice guy though.
All I have to say about roundabouts is.. I'd rather be mad than dead
Sometimes there's no good reason for our anger, just like there's not always a reason when we are happy and contented.
The reason there are bad people who make us angry is because of a bad value system we live. Every emotion (guilt, happiness, anxiety , depression ) turn into anger if these emotion crosses an internal threshold. As a result of these threshold we develop a system in our mind . This system is called our value system . Collectivity it defines the value system and culture of a society.
This is why when angry, one must use that primal energy force for self advancement. We can’t think ourselves out of anger because it will fester and grow internally the more we pretend to fake happiness externally, or express what some call toxic positivity, which is just a colorful phrase for someone who’s delusional and incapable of confrontin there problem.
My anger toward something is complex. Has anyone ever gotten so _tired_ of someone they see constantly? I feel we see my mom's sister more than my two other aunts (her sister in laws), and I think I'm annoyed because...they're my favorites over the maternal aunt. I get to see the aunt I'm most annoyed with (secretly) than the aunts I enjoy, and I guess I feel that's not fair. It's her, her, her, her, her. Sisters can be SO annoying, even as moms (with the sisterly comparisons, you know). Besides, I think I resent their relationship a bit because I'm a brother with only sisters, and I feel brothers are less important to sisters? You know, brothers are for brothers and sisters are for sisters? Like I said, it's complex. Is it possible how I'm feeling is actually normal, so I'm not being a bigot toward my one and only blood aunt (without her knowledge)?
Anger is protective. Unleashing your fury on someone who encourages you to remain a victim is the best thing to do - on paper. But choose. i once told how angry i was to others - they sent police to my door.
Lord Buddha said, "Anger is like drinking poison but expecting the other person to die."
A lot of our behavior is counterproductive to what we really desire, what we seek. Because we are eternal spiritual beings, we desire spiritual love and happiness. According to ancient wisdom, another person in this world cannot make me truly happy in the long run. Yet, we always try to blame others for our anger. Anger is a condition of my own heart, of my consciousness. When anger resides there, all someone else has to do is touch that, and it erupts. When we notice that anger is rising up, then we need to hit the pause button and not act on it. In anger we will do and say things that we will regret.
Knowledge cause anger...
This made me subscribe TEDx
You have the right to get angry, as long as it doesn't effect anybody else. Have a good day.
Awesome 👏 thanks
This is awesome 😍
Directly speaking: this isn't anything new. Anger is one of the emotive responses to stress, and as is with any other emotion, however - anger itself is a direct call to action. It's our 'perserverance/actionable' emotion.
The problem, though, depends on what you do with it, and especially in when you do nothing with it.
exactly.
''Anger is one of the emotive responses to stress'' so maybe society is too stressfull or something, not saying we werent angry when we lived out in nature though, but i guess back then no video cameras either