Your right, I find joy just watching people having fun. The secret of happiness finally to be revealed. Nothing out there in the world can bring you happiness , happiness comes from your own heart.
Happiness is appreciating what you have. Everything else is a cherry on top. Not needed but a little extra treat. JDvorak9000 thanks for reminding us to be greatful with what we have. ❤
I think the key to happiness is keeping your choices open, taking a calculated decision to the best of ability and letting go once the decision has been made. I can truly say that I am happy most of the time because I don't second-guess my decisions. Also when I know I made a bad decision I just accept it and try to look forward to enjoying what I have.
This is the simple beggar mentality - enjoy what I have. You enjoy the little of what you have because you are perhaps just simple and to ask more would be silly.
@@michaelshannon9169 This is true for beggars and rich people. Look at Bill Gates, divorce. Jeff Bezos, divorce, Elon Musk, divorces. Are they more happy than middle class this way?
Amazing! So glad I watched this! Made my night, I was having a horrible night where I was, as usual, blowing up the difference between the good and bad choices in my life. But this video changed my view. Perhaps when we have too much control of our life's circumstances, we worry about the consequences of our actions a lot more and that causes unhappiness and self-doubt but when we let life take its course, we find acceptance and peace of mind. One of the best Ted talks in my opinion.
It reminds me of something I watched regarding the negative correlation between the amount of choices you have and satisfaction. Everything ties together so brilliantly.
If you remove all desire you are left with nothing... no desire to get out of bed, or to help someone else, or even feed yourself, ( which is rare in the USA). and people would be running around saying (whatever whatever whatevvveeeer) in a real depressed voice. just lower expectations a little and not take things personally.
I read his book "Stumbling on Happiness" in my 20s and the point that stuck with me from it is that we're not all that different from others, and if you ask someone about how a certain life decision made them feel that you're also thinking of undertaking (essentially, your future self, but in another person), how they evaluate their decision is probably how you'll evaluate yours 20 years in the future. This has saved from from some awful situations.
Choosing (I couldn't watch to end so no idea of his punch-line = if there is one, ALL too punchy throughout) from 2 options decided by others neither of which is suitable for my NEEDS? Beggars can't be choosers - but (you say) we're 'happy' to be given the choice of whether the ROCK or the HARD PLACE? Ha ha: choosing from NO choices? ha ha ha ha ha. happy happy happy?
This is going to sound stupid but from my short time on earth I've gathered that the happiest people are those that don't focus on their happiness but much rather others.
“Happiness is having something to love. Greater happiness is when that something is everything. Happiness should not be a goal, rather it is a result of a life well lived. A life well lived is a life well loved. A life well loved is a life where you are one with All. That is, you are a part of All, and All is a part of you. Happiness is a byproduct of the process of increasing the quality of your consciousness." Love is about other - whether it is about other persons or other everything makes no difference - love maintains the same quality. How far you spread it (how much you give deeply and broadly) is limited only by the size and quality of your personal reality (quality of your consciousness).” ~ Tom Campbell
I like the way that Dan Gilbert has put forward his presentation. Firstly to keep the audience involved with his speech he cracks some jokes so that the audience is not only present physically but mentally as well. Secondly to support his written data he has provided enough of statistical graphs and data to convey the meaning of happiness. And finally the difference of synthetic happiness against the actual or real happiness is put forward on point. According to me the actual happiness gives a much satisfying result or content feeling as compared to synthetic happiness. To me time and decision is inversely proportional to each other. The more time you spend on a decision the more you critics or hate the decision later. Happiness is like a “first come first served dish”, and I bet the first decision you make will never be regretted in your life later.
Lesson to learn here: don't wait too long by trying to do the very best decision you can make for your path in life. Take your time to think about the best way to fulfill your life's purpose. Then act and don't get stuck in the decision. Because the decision you really make will make you happier than the other choices you had. Don't overthink and wait until it's too late. Take your time. Make a real decision and go for that way a 100%. The lesson from this video and thousands of people's evidence is: that way will make you happy! Because it's YOUR way. The way you choose over others. Go for it!
What makes you come up with this lesson? I think his point is that you can synthesise your happiness as long as you have few options. So you can make up your happiness. If so, whats the point of striving for anything to find happiness. Just synthesise happiness in your mind.
Such a great speech indeed. Happiness, like unhappiness, IS a choice. Nonetheless, the speaker pointed out that having a choice (the picture print experiment) could lead to unhappiness, and then he seemed to stop there (correct me if I'm wrong). I'd add one more thing to that: a better way for happiness is not just to choose to be happy, but also to choose to be happy (or at the very least just content) about choices you have made (thus choice becomes another tool for happiness). One important remark here is that achieving happiness or being content with things should never ever mean that we have peaked and that we need to stop (pursuing whatever it is we pursue). Humans could never have reached the magnificence of the 21st century if they were happy with what they had and just stopped there! Long story short: 1- Choose to be happy. 2- Choose to be happy about your choices. 3- Don't make happiness stop you from pursuing greater happiness or achievement.
What a great message this video contains. I've recently been debating between two similar career paths. One pays over twice as much and carries more prestige, while the other fits more with my life vision. After watching this video, I think I'm that much closer to making a decision now :) Thank you Dan Gilbert for your research and presentation!
@@johannes-diederik2538 saying that wealth and the freedom that comes with it can't be use as a tool for happiness, it's as biases as saying that working in what you love won't make you happier
Think about it this way guys, here's a quote from another brilliant man. "The primary cause of unhappiness is not the situation, but the thought about it" You can be the awareness behind your thoughts and emotions which results in always being happy if you have a well sustained control in this ability of using your consciousness
when I worry about making a choice and fear regretting it, I eventually always realize that neither outcome will make me as happy as playing video games anyway. true happiness
Among the examples, the students who could not change the picture were more satisfied with their choice than those who could. I think I have good memories because I listened to this and chose what I couldn't change once with the best heart and soul. Thanks to this lecture, you can't hope for natural happiness every moment, but I was able to create an opinion that even in such a situation, synthetic happiness can sufficiently satisfy your life.
In the context of the TED talk I just heard, about the importance of the views of indigenous peoples in vulnerable habitats and how their lifestyles should be influencing our sense of responsibility towards conserving our environment, this talk has proved to be in complete agreement.
This is simply amazing...thank you for this. I knew that happiness is a choice but i never quite seemed to understand how to control it. I would stumble every time i made an effort but now i see that i'm just thinking too hard about it. It is what it is, and it's beautiful.
I don't have TV. I was listening to Freakanomics on NPR. They did a piece on Prudential Insurance commercials. I've lived in a mini van for over 2 years. Now after listening to Dan Gilbert I'm gonna see all of North & Central America in my van.
Thank you, what valuable information! I am so heartbroken right now, I didn't think I could ever recover. Love rejection, you know... Now I know I will.
One of, if not the best and most helpful (to me at least) TED talks I have seen yet. Thank you very much for sharing your insights. I truly appreciate it.
To me, this video just means to keep an open mind and now we think that happiness is just success and money but real happiness is not supposed to keep us on our feet and make us hard workers. We must not depend on happiness. So don't depend on happiness and be it and create it.
cool talk, so many people out there looking for somebody or something else to make them happy and its all really up to the individual and what they do in their head.
Wow ! This gives me even more conviction in the theory that a huge amount of critical knowledge can NEVER be gained by 1 ) insight & 2 ) experience but only thru 1 ) Experimentation or 2 ) Third party sources of knowledge like books , talks et al . Thank you Dan Gilbert ! You rock . You convey deep information in an entertaining way - a very rare skill !
let me complete that : a huge amount of critical knowledge can NEVER be gained by 1 ) insight & 2 ) experience 3 ) introspection & 4 ) anecdote - Dharmendra Rai , Mind Map Trainer
Forget the external world all together. Nothing makes us happy except our ability to monitor our thinking and our capacity to see the gifts in what we already have. Just as they say 'money can't buy happiness', I would say nothing can, except self-acceptance and contentment with what we have. Our ego will SCREAM at us if we begin to think this way, but the ego is not our higher self. I practice compassion meditation every night and it helps immensely.
Very interesting comparison and well said.. you are so right there are so many of us depressed, unhappy and suffer depression.. Recently a young man jumped from 16 floor killed himself due depression.. This incident had huge impact on my soul I thought i had to do something to help those are unhappy or suffering so after intensive research I came up with 50 ways to happines and started posting them on TH-cam.. I truly appreciate this type of work because 1 million commit suicide according to world health organization every year.. keep it up.
Oh my god, I'm having a crisis in my life right now about where to move. I have the option of staying where I am in Hawaii, going to my hometown in Vegas or living with some friends in Reno. I'm totally unenthusiastic about my choices and I'm only really dwelling on the negatives of all of them. I gave myself too much freedom to choose, too much opportunity and now all these great options suck! Thanks for the clarity TED
I'm frequently having second thaughts about my choices in life with respect to studies, career, social life, love, etc. Sure, in the context of a casual conversation I usually say I'm happy with my choices to maintain character or make good impression, but in reality I'm often ambivalent or unhappy with my choices, especially since they are indeed irreversible. Simulated happyness is a gift.
Lmao.. that would just be alot to take on. Ever play The Sims? And think "stupid freaking Sims they don't do anything right when I give them free will.?"
I think this is very simple if we think about it. The possibility of regretting the choices we make is what makes us think, over and over again whether or not we made the right decision. Therefore, it makes us miserable under the "what if" possibility, the unknown. Living in uncertainly is probably one of the worst punishments that one can do to oneself...
My cousin: fiddle player at a bar. Poor as dirt, always singing, so cheerful to be with. My old boss: a millionaire, miserable, unhappy guy. insults people, no friends.
this is logic. yr cousin is doing what he likes and doesn't care for so called material succes and doesn't care what people think of his financial state (or so called succes)yr old boss has waisted his life doing stuff he doesn't like to get appraisel from people who don't mean anything to him.
Everything works out for the good. When a door closes, a window opens definitely with more possibilities. You'll never know how it could have turned out if you were not diverted, how worse it could have been than how successfull you are now since the change- assuming you have a" positive and winning mindset" whatever curve ball life will throw at you. I love the phrase "manufacture your own experience". Thanks for a great insight!
My happiness increased when I was a second year student. I realised that so much of the media I consumed was directed at manipulating my emotions in order to get me to do something like support a political candidate or perhaps someone's pet project. I noticed that I was angry a lot of the time. Then I decided that whenever I became angry I would ask myself has someone incited this anger? Who is gaining from this anger? My life changed instantaneously. That was near enough to half a century ago but I still choose not to let others manipulate my emotions and the angst has never returned.
He's right. It's a skill too! I started being happy when I heard The Verve "Lucky Man" and he explained that happiness is more or less a choice we make! But over the years,I KEEP GETTING STUPIDLY HAPPIER! WOOO! Start now, choose to be happy now! Train it!
Watching this video helped me understand why dating sites do not work. I’ve been thinking hard about this problem for some time and I believe This is nailing it right on the head!
Freedom is NOT an enemy. If it was, tyranny wouldn't be so hated and feared, nor would slavery. One should not just accept everything that happens to them as out of their control... if someone does something to attack or harm you, don't let them get away with it or they may harm others (jail guy) ... Oh, and instead of giving up the pictures you love, make another copy from the negative one! Think outside the box! Some boundaries/ limits can be overcome if one is creative enough.
I promise you, the secret to happiness is gratitude. Gratitude could be one manifestation of synthetic happiness, yes?? Gratitude rather than bitterness? It really is free will. Happiness really is a choice. Which means I create my own happiness -- not that my happiness depends on some kind of good luck or gift of fate. Gratitude or bitterness. Simple as that.
He has the ability to simplistically convey complex theorems which opens this discussion to many more people than those intelligent enough to be Harvard students. Watched this three times.
In Dans own words. "Natural happiness is what we get when we get what we wanted, and synthetic happiness is what we make when we don’t get what we wanted." When we are left no other option and cannot reverse our decision, then we make synthetic happiness. And synthetic happiness is just as satisfying as natural happiness. I can understand this. Decisions that can be reversed make us think about it, until it no longer can be reversed. Decisions that cannot be reversed right from the start? We accept it and move forward.
Brilliant lecture! Reminded me of a classic example between two small twins. If the older one had to choose between 2 toys (and the younger one gets the other) the older child will often want to change their choice after they made it. I've got 2 young cousins who do this all the time haha.
Dear Bobby, please let me convey to you my deepest sympathy at your failure to reach unhappiness. Prior to watching this TED talk, I would have advised you to opt for becoming paraplegic or something like that to further your goal, but my deepest understanding of what brings happiness and, conversely, unhappiness, have been shaken to the core. It seems though that your sense of humor/cynicism is to blame, so maybe simply turning it into a sense of stupor/nihilism could do the trick. Best of luck
Even knowing that we are overestimating the difference between the future we want and the other we don't want, this does not shut down the our head which is constantly saying: "the other future is so much better".
I think the abundance of the modern world create overwhelming array of choices. Choice we see as a right: to choose your identity, to choose among the myriad spaghetti sauces in the supermarket, to choose your career. In some ways this choice benefits us, but often it overwhelms. I never look at the menu at a restaurant because it will cause me to question whether or not I'll be happy going with what I came in for. In this way choice is a luxury not enjoyed by a majority of the people around the world. Sometimes it's better to just accept what life gives you and make the best of it.
My mothers been happy go lucky …her whole life ..even after my brothers passing …she’s 91 and happy as can be …she says her happiness is from within her ..🤷♀️..she’s always been this way
I don't understand why people are saying they would prefer natural happiness over synthetic happiness. 1) happiness is happiness. If you are happy, you have happiness. You don't think about whether or not your happiness is synthetic. 2) the whole point of this guys research is showing that we think we know what we would prefer even though our choices make little or even the unexpected, difference. Yet people in these comments are straight away choosing what they think would make them most happy. Am I the only one who sees the irony in that?
Try this thought experiment. Think about the ugliest, fattest girl you could ever imagine. Then imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with her. Nobody would ever think about marrying an ugly girl right? But say they invented a pill that makes you fall in love with ugly girls. Would you feel comfortable taking it?
Jerry Kim sure, why not? as long as it doesn't affect my health in a bad way, its fine. it's not doing anything wrong. the mind is the mind. the past few years i have been chasing various dreams and goals and they have been falling flat, making me exhausted and miserable. lately ive been getting into meditation and reading a lot of self help books, and i feel much happier than before, even though im working a crappy job and we have no money. my younger self would have said im faking it. i dont know about that, but i know im happy right now
I think it would benefit you if you actually read the study yourself. understand what ignorance is in a globalizing world and find solutions yourself. if someone is truly happy, by rational choice and understanding, although most of the time, any discovery usually leads to more questions. I think the guy is trying to make everyone happy and by showing skepticism towards that, it might show something that you have yet to discover. I do support a you and everyone else here for more introspection. I don't know you, only you know yourself the most. from everyday stimuli that forms who you are and genetics as well. so be happy. good luck. may the force be with u
Haha...because the same reason I didnt catch any of the last conclusions, and after looking for the meaning of the words I still cant completly understand the last 20 seconds. Good ted talk anyway
I am very impressed with this man. He makes some incredible points. With that being said, this was not an easy talk to follow. I couldn't find a connecting point within this lecture.
Those who experience great tragedy have the contrast to experience great happiness. Happiness is a mentality, how you decide to process experiences - not the experience itself. This is basic self-awareness; 'enlightenment' is the term - if you're religious. Sadly is really not something you can teach others, the experience of understanding yourself, bootstrapping... is a journey you must seek out, as only you know the way. If you are always reaching for help, then you are not in a position to help others; to be a positive force in this world. Help yourself first and foremost, relinquish your unnecessary dependence, stand on your own two feet and understand what this talk is actually about. Then you will be able to take those values, and the success you have earned through that journey and use it to help others.
A long time ago I was hired by a district manager to work for my supervisor. He had broken a leg at the time and was not available for the interviews and hiring process. He was absolutely miserable with me. He sabotaged me by not training me, then harassed me by treating me like I was stupid in front of others and gave others a head start on projects, forgetting to tell me and I had to try hard to catch up. I was so happy when he finally fired me.
He says that "synthetic happiness" is as real and enduring as "natural happiness", but he's wrong - it's WAAAAY more real and enduring. "Natural happiness" is completely dependent on external circumstances, is fleeting, and doesn't really qualify as happiness at all. I'd call it ego satisfaction: what about you?
Totally agree. For example, sometimes you think you want something badly because, maybe, someone else has it. And you put your time and effort to acieve it just to realize,that the thing you got didn't make you any happier.
Alexey Bogdanov I wonder. Are we all just moving to have what we think we want? Or can we move to want something which the whole humanity might want, like good technology, and nice inspiration, and stuff?
Omega Point Singularity I think we stuck in between because modern marketing technologies are wery good at manipulating our true wishes, replacing them with things they want us to buy. To get to know ourselves and the World better we need better education, that they also are taking away.
Alexey Bogdanov I think you described language. Language has enslaved all of humanity. "Buy some Jesus, get heaven for free!". Virtual reality gives us a real chance to recreate language, and make it better so that we can understand better. It might make it all better.
I've watched this video long time ago and i feel that the mere realization that your happiness can be synthetic isnt helping me be happier it's totally the opposite, it's haunting me and preventing me from knowing how should I feel, it's so much emotional instability to realize that your feelings are in a matter of fact synthetic, thank you
Word 'self delusion' comes to mind... Contentment vs Happiness also comes to mind. I'd like to see the same test done on Buddhist Monks (whose ethos so to speak is 'to be free of all attachments) .... What would the results be?
This guy is discussing what it means to exist, or he may as well be. Happiness is most certainly the positive driving force of our collective unconscious. The moment he began to elaborate on "synthetic happiness" I knew that I was going to encounter a very sterile talk in regards to what every single human being on this planet yearns. It's not as simple as being able to construct a 'good feel' scenario within unfavorable experiences. Keep up with the language study. I dig it ;-)
Happiness is real and it starts from within. A heart always filled with gratitude (from within) will always reflect happiness and joy outside, on the face. Happiness is a choice. Choose to be thankful to the universe, nature, the supreme being, whatever and whoever you call him or her.
Your right, I find joy just watching people having fun. The secret of happiness finally to be revealed. Nothing out there in the world can bring you happiness , happiness comes from your own heart.
"You ain't gonna get out of life alive, so while you're here you might as well have a good time." - Les Brown
Leap...
omg
omg
This has been a message supporting serial killers.
Thanks for that!
Well, I'm paraplegic since before birth, and believe it or not, I'm perfectly happy! Yes!
I believe it
:) So does happiness mean peace and stability?
@@riverdeep399 yes... the excitement you feel from happiness never lasts. Over time, happiness is simply the absence of unhappiness.
Happiness is appreciating what you have. Everything else is a cherry on top. Not needed but a little extra treat. JDvorak9000 thanks for reminding us to be greatful with what we have. ❤
Happy for you!
I think the key to happiness is keeping your choices open, taking a calculated decision to the best of ability and letting go once the decision has been made. I can truly say that I am happy most of the time because I don't second-guess my decisions. Also when I know I made a bad decision I just accept it and try to look forward to enjoying what I have.
This is the simple beggar mentality - enjoy what I have. You enjoy the little of what you have because you are perhaps just simple and to ask more would be silly.
Exactly. Everytime I make a bad decision. I am happy that I learned from from it! 🙂
@@michaelshannon9169 This is true for beggars and rich people. Look at Bill Gates, divorce. Jeff Bezos, divorce, Elon Musk, divorces. Are they more happy than middle class this way?
@@michaelshannon9169 beggar mentality vs creator mentality
@@iPlayDotaReligiously tell me you watch TH-cam influencers without telling me u watch TH-cam influencers
Who's here after reading "MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS"
I am still reading it
From MASTER YOUR FOCUS too
Me
I'm 😂
Me too
Amazing! So glad I watched this! Made my night, I was having a horrible night where I was, as usual, blowing up the difference between the good and bad choices in my life. But this video changed my view. Perhaps when we have too much control of our life's circumstances, we worry about the consequences of our actions a lot more and that causes unhappiness and self-doubt but when we let life take its course, we find acceptance and peace of mind.
One of the best Ted talks in my opinion.
It reminds me of something I watched regarding the negative correlation between the amount of choices you have and satisfaction. Everything ties together so brilliantly.
source. sounds like pillocjk
@@comdrive3865 It might be the talk "The Paradox of Choice" -- Barry Schwartz
Came here from book called Master your emotions and I didn't regretted it.
Same
Same
“Freedom is secured not by the fulfilling of one’s desires, but by the removal of desire.”
Ahh see. Someone gets it. Thank You.
If you remove all desire you are left with nothing... no desire to get out of bed, or to help someone else, or even feed yourself, ( which is rare in the USA). and people would be running around saying (whatever whatever whatevvveeeer) in a real depressed voice. just lower expectations a little and not take things personally.
@@Rogerabushh Roger is dumb.
@@johnwright8405 sometimes
John Wright is dumb and rude
I read his book "Stumbling on Happiness" in my 20s and the point that stuck with me from it is that we're not all that different from others, and if you ask someone about how a certain life decision made them feel that you're also thinking of undertaking (essentially, your future self, but in another person), how they evaluate their decision is probably how you'll evaluate yours 20 years in the future. This has saved from from some awful situations.
An interesting speech on how happiness comes from choosing (and not from having choices).
subscribe me
+Marwa Shalabi no
Choosing (I couldn't watch to end so no idea of his punch-line = if there is one, ALL too punchy throughout) from 2 options decided by others neither of which is suitable for my NEEDS? Beggars can't be choosers - but (you say) we're 'happy' to be given the choice of whether the ROCK or the HARD PLACE? Ha ha: choosing from NO choices?
ha ha ha ha ha. happy happy happy?
Universal paradox: Free to choose. But Not Free from the Consequence of Choice. Think about it.
To choose is to be engaged in a goal or under tension. To have chosen is to have put something behind and accepted.
This is going to sound stupid but from my short time on earth I've gathered that the happiest people are those that don't focus on their happiness but much rather others.
giving not taking... makes sense every thing I read on how to be happy says focus on giving and being grateful
+iRuiz FiftyFive True, you come from the mindset of abundance while giving.
KingOfAllLamas yope, everyday above ground is a good day!
doesn't sound stupid to me at me :)
“Happiness is having something to love. Greater happiness is when that something is everything. Happiness should not be a goal, rather it is a result of a life well lived. A life well lived is a life well loved. A life well loved is a life where you are one with All. That is, you are a part of All, and All is a part of you. Happiness is a byproduct of the process of increasing the quality of your consciousness."
Love is about other - whether it is about other persons or other everything makes no difference - love maintains the same quality. How far you spread it (how much you give deeply and broadly) is limited only by the size and quality of your personal reality (quality of your consciousness).” ~ Tom Campbell
Every few months or so, I watch this video again!
And man, it always makes me feel better!
I like the way that Dan Gilbert has put forward his presentation. Firstly to keep the audience involved with his speech he cracks some jokes so that the audience is not only present physically but mentally as well. Secondly to support his written data he has provided enough of statistical graphs and data to convey the meaning of happiness. And finally the difference of synthetic happiness against the actual or real happiness is put forward on point.
According to me the actual happiness gives a much satisfying result or content feeling as compared to synthetic happiness. To me time and decision is inversely proportional to each other. The more time you spend on a decision the more you critics or hate the decision later. Happiness is like a “first come first served dish”, and I bet the first decision you make will never be regretted in your life later.
Lesson to learn here: don't wait too long by trying to do the very best decision you can make for your path in life. Take your time to think about the best way to fulfill your life's purpose. Then act and don't get stuck in the decision. Because the decision you really make will make you happier than the other choices you had. Don't overthink and wait until it's too late. Take your time. Make a real decision and go for that way a 100%. The lesson from this video and thousands of people's evidence is: that way will make you happy!
Because it's YOUR way. The way you choose over others.
Go for it!
I suppose that's truth about making choices. But how on earth do I find out "my purpose"?
I suppose I could experiment more with interests.
Wow! Here is another resource about happiness that can also benefit you: th-cam.com/video/RTqy-8qsiLg/w-d-xo.html
Stoicism.
What makes you come up with this lesson? I think his point is that you can synthesise your happiness as long as you have few options. So you can make up your happiness. If so, whats the point of striving for anything to find happiness. Just synthesise happiness in your mind.
LIZ EDION wow! Here’s another religious bullshit
Such a great speech indeed. Happiness, like unhappiness, IS a choice. Nonetheless, the speaker pointed out that having a choice (the picture print experiment) could lead to unhappiness, and then he seemed to stop there (correct me if I'm wrong). I'd add one more thing to that: a better way for happiness is not just to choose to be happy, but also to choose to be happy (or at the very least just content) about choices you have made (thus choice becomes another tool for happiness).
One important remark here is that achieving happiness or being content with things should never ever mean that we have peaked and that we need to stop (pursuing whatever it is we pursue). Humans could never have reached the magnificence of the 21st century if they were happy with what they had and just stopped there!
Long story short:
1- Choose to be happy.
2- Choose to be happy about your choices.
3- Don't make happiness stop you from pursuing greater happiness or achievement.
i am happy but i have been depressed its not a choice. it is 100% neurochemical
no@@furybeast68
What a great message this video contains. I've recently been debating between two similar career paths. One pays over twice as much and carries more prestige, while the other fits more with my life vision. After watching this video, I think I'm that much closer to making a decision now :)
Thank you Dan Gilbert for your research and presentation!
take the money
@@Deeznuts-hx1xg yeah lmao, i dont think its in any way wise not to take the money, especially given what kind of world we live in
@@orangecaprinun Incredible how two people can completely miss every single point of a twenty minute talk-minutes after watching it.
Update us please, you think you make the right decision?
@@johannes-diederik2538 saying that wealth and the freedom that comes with it can't be use as a tool for happiness, it's as biases as saying that working in what you love won't make you happier
Think about it this way guys, here's a quote from another brilliant man. "The primary cause of unhappiness is not the situation, but the thought about it" You can be the awareness behind your thoughts and emotions which results in always being happy if you have a well sustained control in this ability of using your consciousness
Well, It's true!!!
Yeah. If you constantly look for reasons to be unhappy. You will find reasons.
He covered that toward the end
when I worry about making a choice and fear regretting it, I eventually always realize that neither outcome will make me as happy as playing video games anyway. true happiness
Among the examples, the students who could not change the picture were more satisfied with their choice than those who could. I think I have good memories because I listened to this and chose what I couldn't change once with the best heart and soul. Thanks to this lecture, you can't hope for natural happiness every moment, but I was able to create an opinion that even in such a situation, synthetic happiness can sufficiently satisfy your life.
One of the best, if not the best talks on TED. Absolutely great!
TED USED TO BE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In the context of the TED talk I just heard, about the importance of the views of indigenous peoples in vulnerable habitats and how their lifestyles should be influencing our sense of responsibility towards conserving our environment, this talk has proved to be in complete agreement.
One of the best TED talks!!!! Using philosophies from this for a TED talk I have on "What If Money Didn't Matter?" for my class at MSU. Great stuff!!!
This is simply amazing...thank you for this. I knew that happiness is a choice but i never quite seemed to understand how to control it. I would stumble every time i made an effort but now i see that i'm just thinking too hard about it. It is what it is, and it's beautiful.
I don't have TV. I was listening to Freakanomics on NPR. They did a piece on Prudential Insurance commercials. I've lived in a mini van for over 2 years. Now after listening to Dan Gilbert I'm gonna see all of North & Central America in my van.
Thank you, what valuable information! I am so heartbroken right now, I didn't think I could ever recover. Love rejection, you know... Now I know I will.
This as always been one of my favorite TED talks
One of, if not the best and most helpful (to me at least) TED talks I have seen yet. Thank you very much for sharing your insights. I truly appreciate it.
To me, this video just means to keep an open mind and now we think that happiness is just success and money but real happiness is not supposed to keep us on our feet and make us hard workers. We must not depend on happiness. So don't depend on happiness and be it and create it.
The reverse of this: you can manufacture depression by always thinking negatively and or always looking for the worst possible outcome
Nah, some ppl are drawn an awful hand in life. Done.
I think being content with what you have and have a sense of acceptance is the key to true happiness.
I can't belive i heard what i needed to hear right in the moment i needed to hear it
Great talk! Indeed, happiness is not something that only can be found, but more importantly, it is something that we can create within ourselves.
An interesting perspective. Happiness needs to be self-start and not depend on anyone outside.
cool talk, so many people out there looking for somebody or something else to make them happy and its all really up to the individual and what they do in their head.
Wow ! This gives me even more conviction in the theory that a huge amount of critical knowledge can NEVER be gained by 1 ) insight & 2 ) experience but only thru 1 ) Experimentation or 2 ) Third party sources of knowledge like books , talks et al . Thank you Dan Gilbert ! You rock . You convey deep information in an entertaining way - a very rare skill !
let me complete that : a huge amount of critical knowledge can NEVER be gained by 1 ) insight & 2 ) experience 3 ) introspection & 4 ) anecdote - Dharmendra Rai , Mind Map Trainer
Forget the external world all together. Nothing makes us happy except our ability to monitor our thinking and our capacity to see the gifts in what we already have. Just as they say 'money can't buy happiness', I would say nothing can, except self-acceptance and contentment with what we have. Our ego will SCREAM at us if we begin to think this way, but the ego is not our higher self. I practice compassion meditation every night and it helps immensely.
Speechless. Amazingly good presentation. Thought-provoking ideas. Thank You TED!
this is by far the best Ted talk ive ever seen, this truly is the secret to happiness
Very interesting comparison and well said.. you are so right there are so many of us depressed, unhappy and suffer depression.. Recently a young man jumped from 16 floor killed himself due depression.. This incident had huge impact on my soul I thought i had to do something to help those are unhappy or suffering so after intensive research I came up with 50 ways to happines and started posting them on TH-cam.. I truly appreciate this type of work because 1 million commit suicide according to world health organization every year.. keep it up.
Oh my god, I'm having a crisis in my life right now about where to move. I have the option of staying where I am in Hawaii, going to my hometown in Vegas or living with some friends in Reno. I'm totally unenthusiastic about my choices and I'm only really dwelling on the negatives of all of them. I gave myself too much freedom to choose, too much opportunity and now all these great options suck! Thanks for the clarity TED
Short version: "Avoid the feeling of regret."
21 minutes best summarized. This video was way too long winded.
thank you
You are awesome.
I'm frequently having second thaughts about my choices in life with respect to studies, career, social life, love, etc. Sure, in the context of a casual conversation I usually say I'm happy with my choices to maintain character or make good impression, but in reality I'm often ambivalent or unhappy with my choices, especially since they are indeed irreversible.
Simulated happyness is a gift.
This video makes me feel a lot less guilty about my plans to enslave the rest of humanity.
I kid, I kid!!
Great video :)
You make my pee pee go DADOING DOING DOING!
pssst. i hav a plan. mail me.
Lmao.. that would just be alot to take on. Ever play The Sims? And think "stupid freaking Sims they don't do anything right when I give them free will.?"
nice goal
White supremacisty has already did that
I put this video on to help me go to sleep, only one minute in and I can't keep my eyes open! 👏🏼😴
I'm disappointed I watched this video but I'm sure the next one I watch will bring me happiness.
Fascinating. It lends cred to the power of suggestion too and meditations on acceptance.
Probably my favourite TED talk yet. Definitely going to buy this dudes book. :)))
I think this is very simple if we think about it. The possibility of regretting the choices we make is what makes us think, over and over again whether or not we made the right decision. Therefore, it makes us miserable under the "what if" possibility, the unknown. Living in uncertainly is probably one of the worst punishments that one can do to oneself...
My cousin: fiddle player at a bar. Poor as dirt, always singing, so cheerful to be with.
My old boss: a millionaire, miserable, unhappy guy. insults people, no friends.
HVYMETL I assume they were that way from the day that they were born?
this is logic. yr cousin is doing what he likes and doesn't care for so called material succes and doesn't care what people think of his financial state (or so called succes)yr old boss has waisted his life doing stuff he doesn't like to get appraisel from people who don't mean anything to him.
So one is popular and happy, the other lonely and unhappy. That's not surprising in any way.
Would still rather be rich than broke
the old boss sounds like T-rump
5:00 Loving how well prepared he is until that little stare at the computer screen when he said "unlike sir Thomas, YOU SEEM NOT TO KNOW IT." 😂
This is the most enlightening TED talk i've watched so far, and I've seen quite a few. THank you for this talk ;D
Everything works out for the good. When a door closes, a window opens definitely with more possibilities. You'll never know how it could have turned out if you were not diverted, how worse it could have been than how successfull you are now since the change- assuming you have a" positive and winning mindset" whatever curve ball life will throw at you. I love the phrase "manufacture your own experience". Thanks for a great insight!
My happiness increased when I was a second year student. I realised that so much of the media I consumed was directed at manipulating my emotions in order to get me to do something like support a political candidate or perhaps someone's pet project. I noticed that I was angry a lot of the time. Then I decided that whenever I became angry I would ask myself has someone incited this anger? Who is gaining from this anger? My life changed instantaneously. That was near enough to half a century ago but I still choose not to let others manipulate my emotions and the angst has never returned.
He's right. It's a skill too! I started being happy when I heard The Verve "Lucky Man" and he explained that happiness is more or less a choice we make! But over the years,I KEEP GETTING STUPIDLY HAPPIER! WOOO! Start now, choose to be happy now! Train it!
good god i wanna speak like that guy !!!
Fahim Ahmed try to say one sentence that guy said in the speech, and then expand on it with your own thoughts :)
Donde se admitiera minutos y horas☺🔫💀 sobre
Watching this video helped me understand why dating sites do not work. I’ve been thinking hard about this problem for some time and I believe This is nailing it right on the head!
Freedom is NOT an enemy. If it was, tyranny wouldn't be so hated and feared, nor would slavery. One should not just accept everything that happens to them as out of their control... if someone does something to attack or harm you, don't let them get away with it or they may harm others (jail guy) ... Oh, and instead of giving up the pictures you love, make another copy from the negative one! Think outside the box! Some boundaries/ limits can be overcome if one is creative enough.
Wow, powerful, powerful insight. I'm grateful to have found this.
I'm in love with the vibes this man is sending!
NeverStoppedSinging - then try Alan Watts
My wife left me and I´m so hard broken, It is some how comforting to know than in a year I will be just as happy as I was with her.
raultejedor are you happy now?
I promise you, the secret to happiness is gratitude. Gratitude could be one manifestation of synthetic happiness, yes?? Gratitude rather than bitterness? It really is free will. Happiness really is a choice. Which means I create my own happiness -- not that my happiness depends on some kind of good luck or gift of fate. Gratitude or bitterness. Simple as that.
Sylvia Woods I totally agree with you on gratitude thank you
Does it help with depression?
this is a re upload of one of the best ted talks done
I recently realised that happiness is a choice. I'm 40 years old. I don't know if I'm dumb or just that I missed it somewhere lol
Im in my 40s. Never had a happy life. Am still miserable.
Gotta love how enthusiastic is he
This is such wonderful information for everyone! Thank you for sharing this.
He has the ability to simplistically convey complex theorems which opens this discussion to many more people than those intelligent enough to be Harvard students. Watched this three times.
In Dans own words. "Natural happiness is what we get when we get what we wanted, and synthetic happiness is what we make when we don’t get what we wanted." When we are left no other option and cannot reverse our decision, then we make synthetic happiness. And synthetic happiness is just as satisfying as natural happiness. I can understand this. Decisions that can be reversed make us think about it, until it no longer can be reversed. Decisions that cannot be reversed right from the start? We accept it and move forward.
Brilliant lecture! Reminded me of a classic example between two small twins. If the older one had to choose between 2 toys (and the younger one gets the other) the older child will often want to change their choice after they made it. I've got 2 young cousins who do this all the time haha.
Thank you for this fantastic 21 minute lecture. Amazing research and information. Thank you so much for sharing! Howard Farran DDS, MBA
Dear Bobby, please let me convey to you my deepest sympathy at your failure to reach unhappiness. Prior to watching this TED talk, I would have advised you to opt for becoming paraplegic or something like that to further your goal, but my deepest understanding of what brings happiness and, conversely, unhappiness, have been shaken to the core.
It seems though that your sense of humor/cynicism is to blame, so maybe simply turning it into a sense of stupor/nihilism could do the trick. Best of luck
This absolutely blew my mind; so happy...or am I?!
Even knowing that we are overestimating the difference between the future we want and the other we don't want, this does not shut down the our head which is constantly saying: "the other future is so much better".
I think the abundance of the modern world create overwhelming array of choices. Choice we see as a right: to choose your identity, to choose among the myriad spaghetti sauces in the supermarket, to choose your career. In some ways this choice benefits us, but often it overwhelms. I never look at the menu at a restaurant because it will cause me to question whether or not I'll be happy going with what I came in for. In this way choice is a luxury not enjoyed by a majority of the people around the world. Sometimes it's better to just accept what life gives you and make the best of it.
My mothers been happy go lucky …her whole life ..even after my brothers passing …she’s 91 and happy as can be …she says her happiness is from within her ..🤷♀️..she’s always been this way
I don't understand why people are saying they would prefer natural happiness over synthetic happiness. 1) happiness is happiness. If you are happy, you have happiness. You don't think about whether or not your happiness is synthetic. 2) the whole point of this guys research is showing that we think we know what we would prefer even though our choices make little or even the unexpected, difference. Yet people in these comments are straight away choosing what they think would make them most happy. Am I the only one who sees the irony in that?
Try this thought experiment. Think about the ugliest, fattest girl you could ever imagine. Then imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with her. Nobody would ever think about marrying an ugly girl right? But say they invented a pill that makes you fall in love with ugly girls. Would you feel comfortable taking it?
+Jerry Kim Why not?
Jerry Kim sure, why not? as long as it doesn't affect my health in a bad way, its fine. it's not doing anything wrong. the mind is the mind. the past few years i have been chasing various dreams and goals and they have been falling flat, making me exhausted and miserable. lately ive been getting into meditation and reading a lot of self help books, and i feel much happier than before, even though im working a crappy job and we have no money. my younger self would have said im faking it. i dont know about that, but i know im happy right now
I guess people apply here same logic as when they choose between natural food and modified/synthetic food. Which is of course not a very good idea.
I think it would benefit you if you actually read the study yourself. understand what ignorance is in a globalizing world and find solutions yourself. if someone is truly happy, by rational choice and understanding, although most of the time, any discovery usually leads to more questions. I think the guy is trying to make everyone happy and by showing skepticism towards that, it might show something that you have yet to discover. I do support a you and everyone else here for more introspection. I don't know you, only you know yourself the most. from everyday stimuli that forms who you are and genetics as well. so be happy. good luck. may the force be with u
One of the best talks about happiness and human nature in general :D
Haha...because the same reason
I didnt catch any of the last conclusions, and after looking for the meaning of the words I still cant completly understand the last 20 seconds. Good ted talk anyway
Interesting, I've been doing this my whole life, and I do think I'm happier than others.
I am very impressed with this man. He makes some incredible points. With that being said, this was not an easy talk to follow. I couldn't find a connecting point within this lecture.
Man, this guy speaks so fast non-stop and won't leave the audience enough time to process what he's saying...
Thanks for this moment of happiness!
Those who experience great tragedy have the contrast to experience great happiness.
Happiness is a mentality, how you decide to process experiences - not the experience itself.
This is basic self-awareness; 'enlightenment' is the term - if you're religious.
Sadly is really not something you can teach others, the experience of understanding yourself, bootstrapping... is a journey you must seek out, as only you know the way.
If you are always reaching for help, then you are not in a position to help others; to be a positive force in this world.
Help yourself first and foremost, relinquish your unnecessary dependence, stand on your own two feet and understand what this talk is actually about.
Then you will be able to take those values, and the success you have earned through that journey and use it to help others.
+Blank _____ Well said. And wise. Old person or old soul.
Im glad I was able to watch this video. It made more really think about how happiness can take a huge role in someone's life and output.
My brain must be wired differently. I'm only truly happy when I get everything I want. Having choices is also nice.
Same here
This guy is great, love his presentation style.
10:41 I chose number 4 and synthesized some sadness! I feel so productive!! :D
A long time ago I was hired by a district manager to work for my supervisor. He had broken a leg at the time and was not available for the interviews and hiring process. He was absolutely miserable with me. He sabotaged me by not training me, then harassed me by treating me like I was stupid in front of others and gave others a head start on projects, forgetting to tell me and I had to try hard to catch up. I was so happy when he finally fired me.
"You find a way to be happy with what's happened."
There must be a waiting list to take this professor's classes. He's great.
Intelligence is subjective, happiness is an emotion to often confused with a concept
8:55
FINALLY someone nails it !!!
the sole porpouse of gouvernance should be making us really happier.
advertising should be banned from society
happiness is just a state of mind, if you want happy, and you are happy !
Just be humble and accepting.
He says that "synthetic happiness" is as real and enduring as "natural happiness", but he's wrong - it's WAAAAY more real and enduring. "Natural happiness" is completely dependent on external circumstances, is fleeting, and doesn't really qualify as happiness at all. I'd call it ego satisfaction: what about you?
I agree with you @Bethany Hunt.
Totally agree. For example, sometimes you think you want something badly because, maybe, someone else has it. And you put your time and effort to acieve it just to realize,that the thing you got didn't make you any happier.
Alexey Bogdanov I wonder. Are we all just moving to have what we think we want? Or can we move to want something which the whole humanity might want, like good technology, and nice inspiration, and stuff?
Omega Point Singularity I think we stuck in between because modern marketing technologies are wery good at manipulating our true wishes, replacing them with things they want us to buy. To get to know ourselves and the World better we need better education, that they also are taking away.
Alexey Bogdanov I think you described language. Language has enslaved all of humanity. "Buy some Jesus, get heaven for free!". Virtual reality gives us a real chance to recreate language, and make it better so that we can understand better. It might make it all better.
I've watched this video long time ago and i feel that the mere realization that your happiness can be synthetic isnt helping me be happier it's totally the opposite, it's haunting me and preventing me from knowing how should I feel, it's so much emotional instability to realize that your feelings are in a matter of fact synthetic, thank you
Word 'self delusion' comes to mind...
Contentment vs Happiness also comes to mind.
I'd like to see the same test done on Buddhist Monks (whose ethos so to speak is 'to be free of all attachments) .... What would the results be?
This guy is discussing what it means to exist, or he may as well be. Happiness is most certainly the positive driving force of our collective unconscious. The moment he began to elaborate on "synthetic happiness" I knew that I was going to encounter a very sterile talk in regards to what every single human being on this planet yearns. It's not as simple as being able to construct a 'good feel' scenario within unfavorable experiences.
Keep up with the language study. I dig it ;-)
Be happy with this, whatever this is, because it's scientifically proven that we can be as happy with this as we could be with any other path.
+Julius Fawcett
Deep. Like a tap stuck in the open position!
Ok this is seriously brilliant. Really brilliant. This is actually.... profound.
Happiness is real and it starts from within. A heart always filled with gratitude (from within) will always reflect happiness and joy outside, on the face.
Happiness is a choice. Choose to be thankful to the universe, nature, the supreme being, whatever and whoever you call him or her.