Your right, I find joy just watching people having fun. The secret of happiness finally to be revealed. Nothing out there in the world can bring you happiness , happiness comes from your own heart.
Happiness is appreciating what you have. Everything else is a cherry on top. Not needed but a little extra treat. JDvorak9000 thanks for reminding us to be greatful with what we have. ❤
Amazing! So glad I watched this! Made my night, I was having a horrible night where I was, as usual, blowing up the difference between the good and bad choices in my life. But this video changed my view. Perhaps when we have too much control of our life's circumstances, we worry about the consequences of our actions a lot more and that causes unhappiness and self-doubt but when we let life take its course, we find acceptance and peace of mind. One of the best Ted talks in my opinion.
I think the key to happiness is keeping your choices open, taking a calculated decision to the best of ability and letting go once the decision has been made. I can truly say that I am happy most of the time because I don't second-guess my decisions. Also when I know I made a bad decision I just accept it and try to look forward to enjoying what I have.
This is the simple beggar mentality - enjoy what I have. You enjoy the little of what you have because you are perhaps just simple and to ask more would be silly.
@@michaelshannon9169 This is true for beggars and rich people. Look at Bill Gates, divorce. Jeff Bezos, divorce, Elon Musk, divorces. Are they more happy than middle class this way?
Lesson to learn here: don't wait too long by trying to do the very best decision you can make for your path in life. Take your time to think about the best way to fulfill your life's purpose. Then act and don't get stuck in the decision. Because the decision you really make will make you happier than the other choices you had. Don't overthink and wait until it's too late. Take your time. Make a real decision and go for that way a 100%. The lesson from this video and thousands of people's evidence is: that way will make you happy! Because it's YOUR way. The way you choose over others. Go for it!
What makes you come up with this lesson? I think his point is that you can synthesise your happiness as long as you have few options. So you can make up your happiness. If so, whats the point of striving for anything to find happiness. Just synthesise happiness in your mind.
I read his book "Stumbling on Happiness" in my 20s and the point that stuck with me from it is that we're not all that different from others, and if you ask someone about how a certain life decision made them feel that you're also thinking of undertaking (essentially, your future self, but in another person), how they evaluate their decision is probably how you'll evaluate yours 20 years in the future. This has saved from from some awful situations.
This is going to sound stupid but from my short time on earth I've gathered that the happiest people are those that don't focus on their happiness but much rather others.
“Happiness is having something to love. Greater happiness is when that something is everything. Happiness should not be a goal, rather it is a result of a life well lived. A life well lived is a life well loved. A life well loved is a life where you are one with All. That is, you are a part of All, and All is a part of you. Happiness is a byproduct of the process of increasing the quality of your consciousness." Love is about other - whether it is about other persons or other everything makes no difference - love maintains the same quality. How far you spread it (how much you give deeply and broadly) is limited only by the size and quality of your personal reality (quality of your consciousness).” ~ Tom Campbell
If you remove all desire you are left with nothing... no desire to get out of bed, or to help someone else, or even feed yourself, ( which is rare in the USA). and people would be running around saying (whatever whatever whatevvveeeer) in a real depressed voice. just lower expectations a little and not take things personally.
It reminds me of something I watched regarding the negative correlation between the amount of choices you have and satisfaction. Everything ties together so brilliantly.
Such a great speech indeed. Happiness, like unhappiness, IS a choice. Nonetheless, the speaker pointed out that having a choice (the picture print experiment) could lead to unhappiness, and then he seemed to stop there (correct me if I'm wrong). I'd add one more thing to that: a better way for happiness is not just to choose to be happy, but also to choose to be happy (or at the very least just content) about choices you have made (thus choice becomes another tool for happiness). One important remark here is that achieving happiness or being content with things should never ever mean that we have peaked and that we need to stop (pursuing whatever it is we pursue). Humans could never have reached the magnificence of the 21st century if they were happy with what they had and just stopped there! Long story short: 1- Choose to be happy. 2- Choose to be happy about your choices. 3- Don't make happiness stop you from pursuing greater happiness or achievement.
Think about it this way guys, here's a quote from another brilliant man. "The primary cause of unhappiness is not the situation, but the thought about it" You can be the awareness behind your thoughts and emotions which results in always being happy if you have a well sustained control in this ability of using your consciousness
I like the way that Dan Gilbert has put forward his presentation. Firstly to keep the audience involved with his speech he cracks some jokes so that the audience is not only present physically but mentally as well. Secondly to support his written data he has provided enough of statistical graphs and data to convey the meaning of happiness. And finally the difference of synthetic happiness against the actual or real happiness is put forward on point. According to me the actual happiness gives a much satisfying result or content feeling as compared to synthetic happiness. To me time and decision is inversely proportional to each other. The more time you spend on a decision the more you critics or hate the decision later. Happiness is like a “first come first served dish”, and I bet the first decision you make will never be regretted in your life later.
Choosing (I couldn't watch to end so no idea of his punch-line = if there is one, ALL too punchy throughout) from 2 options decided by others neither of which is suitable for my NEEDS? Beggars can't be choosers - but (you say) we're 'happy' to be given the choice of whether the ROCK or the HARD PLACE? Ha ha: choosing from NO choices? ha ha ha ha ha. happy happy happy?
when I worry about making a choice and fear regretting it, I eventually always realize that neither outcome will make me as happy as playing video games anyway. true happiness
What a great message this video contains. I've recently been debating between two similar career paths. One pays over twice as much and carries more prestige, while the other fits more with my life vision. After watching this video, I think I'm that much closer to making a decision now :) Thank you Dan Gilbert for your research and presentation!
@@johannes-diederik2538 saying that wealth and the freedom that comes with it can't be use as a tool for happiness, it's as biases as saying that working in what you love won't make you happier
I promise you, the secret to happiness is gratitude. Gratitude could be one manifestation of synthetic happiness, yes?? Gratitude rather than bitterness? It really is free will. Happiness really is a choice. Which means I create my own happiness -- not that my happiness depends on some kind of good luck or gift of fate. Gratitude or bitterness. Simple as that.
My cousin: fiddle player at a bar. Poor as dirt, always singing, so cheerful to be with. My old boss: a millionaire, miserable, unhappy guy. insults people, no friends.
this is logic. yr cousin is doing what he likes and doesn't care for so called material succes and doesn't care what people think of his financial state (or so called succes)yr old boss has waisted his life doing stuff he doesn't like to get appraisel from people who don't mean anything to him.
To me, this video just means to keep an open mind and now we think that happiness is just success and money but real happiness is not supposed to keep us on our feet and make us hard workers. We must not depend on happiness. So don't depend on happiness and be it and create it.
In the context of the TED talk I just heard, about the importance of the views of indigenous peoples in vulnerable habitats and how their lifestyles should be influencing our sense of responsibility towards conserving our environment, this talk has proved to be in complete agreement.
Among the examples, the students who could not change the picture were more satisfied with their choice than those who could. I think I have good memories because I listened to this and chose what I couldn't change once with the best heart and soul. Thanks to this lecture, you can't hope for natural happiness every moment, but I was able to create an opinion that even in such a situation, synthetic happiness can sufficiently satisfy your life.
In Dans own words. "Natural happiness is what we get when we get what we wanted, and synthetic happiness is what we make when we don’t get what we wanted." When we are left no other option and cannot reverse our decision, then we make synthetic happiness. And synthetic happiness is just as satisfying as natural happiness. I can understand this. Decisions that can be reversed make us think about it, until it no longer can be reversed. Decisions that cannot be reversed right from the start? We accept it and move forward.
I don't understand why people are saying they would prefer natural happiness over synthetic happiness. 1) happiness is happiness. If you are happy, you have happiness. You don't think about whether or not your happiness is synthetic. 2) the whole point of this guys research is showing that we think we know what we would prefer even though our choices make little or even the unexpected, difference. Yet people in these comments are straight away choosing what they think would make them most happy. Am I the only one who sees the irony in that?
Try this thought experiment. Think about the ugliest, fattest girl you could ever imagine. Then imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with her. Nobody would ever think about marrying an ugly girl right? But say they invented a pill that makes you fall in love with ugly girls. Would you feel comfortable taking it?
Jerry Kim sure, why not? as long as it doesn't affect my health in a bad way, its fine. it's not doing anything wrong. the mind is the mind. the past few years i have been chasing various dreams and goals and they have been falling flat, making me exhausted and miserable. lately ive been getting into meditation and reading a lot of self help books, and i feel much happier than before, even though im working a crappy job and we have no money. my younger self would have said im faking it. i dont know about that, but i know im happy right now
I think it would benefit you if you actually read the study yourself. understand what ignorance is in a globalizing world and find solutions yourself. if someone is truly happy, by rational choice and understanding, although most of the time, any discovery usually leads to more questions. I think the guy is trying to make everyone happy and by showing skepticism towards that, it might show something that you have yet to discover. I do support a you and everyone else here for more introspection. I don't know you, only you know yourself the most. from everyday stimuli that forms who you are and genetics as well. so be happy. good luck. may the force be with u
This is simply amazing...thank you for this. I knew that happiness is a choice but i never quite seemed to understand how to control it. I would stumble every time i made an effort but now i see that i'm just thinking too hard about it. It is what it is, and it's beautiful.
I don't have TV. I was listening to Freakanomics on NPR. They did a piece on Prudential Insurance commercials. I've lived in a mini van for over 2 years. Now after listening to Dan Gilbert I'm gonna see all of North & Central America in my van.
Freedom is NOT an enemy. If it was, tyranny wouldn't be so hated and feared, nor would slavery. One should not just accept everything that happens to them as out of their control... if someone does something to attack or harm you, don't let them get away with it or they may harm others (jail guy) ... Oh, and instead of giving up the pictures you love, make another copy from the negative one! Think outside the box! Some boundaries/ limits can be overcome if one is creative enough.
My happiness increased when I was a second year student. I realised that so much of the media I consumed was directed at manipulating my emotions in order to get me to do something like support a political candidate or perhaps someone's pet project. I noticed that I was angry a lot of the time. Then I decided that whenever I became angry I would ask myself has someone incited this anger? Who is gaining from this anger? My life changed instantaneously. That was near enough to half a century ago but I still choose not to let others manipulate my emotions and the angst has never returned.
Moral of the story ~ People synthesize happiness; we all have the ability to *choose* to be happy, especially if we make 1-door decisions. Impact bias = tendency to overestimate the hedonic impact of future events
He says that "synthetic happiness" is as real and enduring as "natural happiness", but he's wrong - it's WAAAAY more real and enduring. "Natural happiness" is completely dependent on external circumstances, is fleeting, and doesn't really qualify as happiness at all. I'd call it ego satisfaction: what about you?
Totally agree. For example, sometimes you think you want something badly because, maybe, someone else has it. And you put your time and effort to acieve it just to realize,that the thing you got didn't make you any happier.
Alexey Bogdanov I wonder. Are we all just moving to have what we think we want? Or can we move to want something which the whole humanity might want, like good technology, and nice inspiration, and stuff?
Omega Point Singularity I think we stuck in between because modern marketing technologies are wery good at manipulating our true wishes, replacing them with things they want us to buy. To get to know ourselves and the World better we need better education, that they also are taking away.
Alexey Bogdanov I think you described language. Language has enslaved all of humanity. "Buy some Jesus, get heaven for free!". Virtual reality gives us a real chance to recreate language, and make it better so that we can understand better. It might make it all better.
I think the abundance of the modern world create overwhelming array of choices. Choice we see as a right: to choose your identity, to choose among the myriad spaghetti sauces in the supermarket, to choose your career. In some ways this choice benefits us, but often it overwhelms. I never look at the menu at a restaurant because it will cause me to question whether or not I'll be happy going with what I came in for. In this way choice is a luxury not enjoyed by a majority of the people around the world. Sometimes it's better to just accept what life gives you and make the best of it.
This is a pretty good argument for arranged marriages, or at least against social media and dating apps. Everybody says you have a soulmate out there, when really you're supposed to make a soulmate out of your partner. And the truth is, your partner will never be satisfied with you as long as they believe they can do better out there.
Thank you, what valuable information! I am so heartbroken right now, I didn't think I could ever recover. Love rejection, you know... Now I know I will.
Wow ! This gives me even more conviction in the theory that a huge amount of critical knowledge can NEVER be gained by 1 ) insight & 2 ) experience but only thru 1 ) Experimentation or 2 ) Third party sources of knowledge like books , talks et al . Thank you Dan Gilbert ! You rock . You convey deep information in an entertaining way - a very rare skill !
let me complete that : a huge amount of critical knowledge can NEVER be gained by 1 ) insight & 2 ) experience 3 ) introspection & 4 ) anecdote - Dharmendra Rai , Mind Map Trainer
Very interesting comparison and well said.. you are so right there are so many of us depressed, unhappy and suffer depression.. Recently a young man jumped from 16 floor killed himself due depression.. This incident had huge impact on my soul I thought i had to do something to help those are unhappy or suffering so after intensive research I came up with 50 ways to happines and started posting them on TH-cam.. I truly appreciate this type of work because 1 million commit suicide according to world health organization every year.. keep it up.
Lmao.. that would just be alot to take on. Ever play The Sims? And think "stupid freaking Sims they don't do anything right when I give them free will.?"
He's right. It's a skill too! I started being happy when I heard The Verve "Lucky Man" and he explained that happiness is more or less a choice we make! But over the years,I KEEP GETTING STUPIDLY HAPPIER! WOOO! Start now, choose to be happy now! Train it!
For those of you who seem to be focusing on only the choice, that's half of it. The other important part of this talk was what was mentioned in the very first and very last part: the pre-frontal cortex. Yeah, settling for what's present is a big help. This can really be described as "non-resistance" or just acceptance, which I would definitely argue and agree is probably the definite key to happiness. However, the key to also remember is that the pfc exaggerates both good and bad, and that happiness levels out after both good and bad events. Meaning, that settling for what is in your present only makes the most logical choice! If one is to fall into the illusion of the pfc, then one would be feeling unhappy based off illusory realities! So, when a person is: 1) in a place of pure acceptance or non-resistance and 2) doesn't fall for the illusory concepts the PFC offers, then they realize that their actual, functional state is one of happiness. peace
Those who experience great tragedy have the contrast to experience great happiness. Happiness is a mentality, how you decide to process experiences - not the experience itself. This is basic self-awareness; 'enlightenment' is the term - if you're religious. Sadly is really not something you can teach others, the experience of understanding yourself, bootstrapping... is a journey you must seek out, as only you know the way. If you are always reaching for help, then you are not in a position to help others; to be a positive force in this world. Help yourself first and foremost, relinquish your unnecessary dependence, stand on your own two feet and understand what this talk is actually about. Then you will be able to take those values, and the success you have earned through that journey and use it to help others.
A long time ago I was hired by a district manager to work for my supervisor. He had broken a leg at the time and was not available for the interviews and hiring process. He was absolutely miserable with me. He sabotaged me by not training me, then harassed me by treating me like I was stupid in front of others and gave others a head start on projects, forgetting to tell me and I had to try hard to catch up. I was so happy when he finally fired me.
I think this is very simple if we think about it. The possibility of regretting the choices we make is what makes us think, over and over again whether or not we made the right decision. Therefore, it makes us miserable under the "what if" possibility, the unknown. Living in uncertainly is probably one of the worst punishments that one can do to oneself...
Happiness is real and it starts from within. A heart always filled with gratitude (from within) will always reflect happiness and joy outside, on the face. Happiness is a choice. Choose to be thankful to the universe, nature, the supreme being, whatever and whoever you call him or her.
Even knowing that we are overestimating the difference between the future we want and the other we don't want, this does not shut down the our head which is constantly saying: "the other future is so much better".
That's why cannabis makes you so content, because it makes you forget that the "grass is gender on the other side" and that the grass that's in your system is what you have.
He has the ability to simplistically convey complex theorems which opens this discussion to many more people than those intelligent enough to be Harvard students. Watched this three times.
One of, if not the best and most helpful (to me at least) TED talks I have seen yet. Thank you very much for sharing your insights. I truly appreciate it.
Isn't synthetic happiness then just a form of denial, whereby you're lying to yourself? I mean spending 37 years for a crime you didn't commit- that guy has every right to be angry with the system! If everyone was happy in this manner, then noone would strive for change...just a thought.
+Vinay Seth Isn't happiness itself a form of denial? Because we all have to settle for something. And even when you get what you want, you are never satisfied, or for only a short period of time, and will always want more, because humans are greedy creatures.
+ProfitableLifestyles Hmm that's an interesting way to put it. However, I have a different take on this. And I'll use this video's message to argue for it. One thing I take back from this video is that a lot depends on your story about yourself. I know what you were trying to point out- but the word 'greedy' carries along with it a negative connotation. I could put it in another way- that humans aren't greedy creatures, but rather they have a constant will to evolve and grow, hence finding the achievement they uncovered a while ago to be just a stepping stone to something better. Notice how changing just one word changes the story we are telling ourselves about ourselves. From that perspective, then, it is important that we make sure to congratulate ourselves from time to time and be mindful and thankful for all the things we have at the moment rather than feeling burdened by things we don't have yet or which we have lost. Thank you for your comment- as it made me think of a counter-point to my argument :)
+Vinay Seth Could that guy be happy he's not in there anymore and then commit to helping others? Being angry with the system is a feeling and doing something to fix the system is an action. You don't have to be angry to effect change. Anger is a personal gap analysis yes, but you don't need it to take action per se. Some of happiness is a choice and the perspective on life events and decisions. Some other aspects of happiness have to do with the level of risk one is comfortable with and the requisite decision making. If my parents never told me I carry a genetic disease, I can either be angry that my parents didn't tell me or grateful that I know so that I can tell my own children. Synthetic happiness is a way of lowering your internal dissonance. It doesn't jive with American individualism and capitalism. Some people have more of a need to belong in community. Freud called people who need religion infantile. He wasn't wrong, but people who need religion don't necessarily use it as a crutch either. It comes down to personality and how you adjust your life experiences to it vs. how you react. It's more of a cumulative effect vs. making choices from door # 1, 2 or 3.
+Vinay Seth well what does it matter if its a form of denial? We already don't know very much about ourselves, about life, about anything, we are forever ignorant, even if we're a little less ignorant over time. To say we're in denial is to also imply that we know the truth about anything, which is a lie! Our perception is all we got as individuals, which very greatly from person to person, right? So we have already chosen our realities. We do it every moment of our lives. If you CHOOSE to try a new restaurant, you might end up liking it or hating it. Cool. But would you randomly try to make yourself miserable by thinking in your free time, "god, I bet there are ridiculously good restaurants out there and I haven't been to them". = ludicrous. Yet we do this with so many other things, creating these weird exaggerations in our heads that put our lives down and put the possibilities on a pedestal. So you could live two ways. You could just enjoy the restaurants you eat at, and be glad you tried them even if you didn't like them, or you could mope about the ones you haven't been to even though you don't know what's out there. That's how I see this anyway. It's all a creation of our perceptions and so, since they are SO malleable, I believe we have much more control of our happiness than we think we do by the choices we choose to take and the stock we put in them.
+Amrit Gill That's an interesting take on it. Yes, I do agree with your point that we create a lot of our happiness and unhappiness through our perceptions. But at the same time, I would rather be an unhappy free man than be a happy slave of someone else. If I feel my liberty and freedom are being compromised with, then I would try to change the situation, rather than feel happy that at least I have something. I mean that's another way to look at it. Of course, in real life, both these views are always at inter-play with each other.
Forget the external world all together. Nothing makes us happy except our ability to monitor our thinking and our capacity to see the gifts in what we already have. Just as they say 'money can't buy happiness', I would say nothing can, except self-acceptance and contentment with what we have. Our ego will SCREAM at us if we begin to think this way, but the ego is not our higher self. I practice compassion meditation every night and it helps immensely.
Word 'self delusion' comes to mind... Contentment vs Happiness also comes to mind. I'd like to see the same test done on Buddhist Monks (whose ethos so to speak is 'to be free of all attachments) .... What would the results be?
I'm frequently having second thaughts about my choices in life with respect to studies, career, social life, love, etc. Sure, in the context of a casual conversation I usually say I'm happy with my choices to maintain character or make good impression, but in reality I'm often ambivalent or unhappy with my choices, especially since they are indeed irreversible. Simulated happyness is a gift.
Watching this video helped me understand why dating sites do not work. I’ve been thinking hard about this problem for some time and I believe This is nailing it right on the head!
Everything works out for the good. When a door closes, a window opens definitely with more possibilities. You'll never know how it could have turned out if you were not diverted, how worse it could have been than how successfull you are now since the change- assuming you have a" positive and winning mindset" whatever curve ball life will throw at you. I love the phrase "manufacture your own experience". Thanks for a great insight!
I am confused. If people can shrug off major life traumas three months later, why does acute stress disorder sometimes progress into PTSD? Why do we even have psychiatrists and psychiatric wings in hospitals if people can say, "I am happy now, yay"?
+lalaithan feedback loops. if you have the same thought for days and days, you will end up interiorizing it, thus creating very strong connections in your brain that will fire constantly any time they get a bit of energy from surrounding stuff. if you enter a negative loop, the only way to stop is rewire yourself. it is indeed harder than it sounds, but willpower is the main factor here. some people just don't believe they have that willpower.
because some PTSD patients experience the trauma over....n over...again. it does not stop. this is the diff bw one shocking event n.... one shocking event. resting. shock again. rest n heal....shock. Bam. = PTSD
Because this guy's happiness study is bullshit, that's why...oh yeah, the secret to happiness is reducing the secret to happiness to a survey of choosing a photograph, and making the decision irreversible. Does that even sound scientific? No, because there are way too many variables when it comes to happiness, that's why.
My mothers been happy go lucky …her whole life ..even after my brothers passing …she’s 91 and happy as can be …she says her happiness is from within her ..🤷♀️..she’s always been this way
some one betrayed badly, it would have been easier on me if he killed me. while after 8 years I still hurt at times he has taught me real empathy and pity, I feel and see more than I ever have
No. Faking it means you are pretending. Synthetic happiness is a survival mechanism that the humans have developed thanks to the frontal lobe in our brains. We can learn to accept defeat. And as we go on with our lives, they are still good lives. Therefor it creates the sensation that "it was for the best". Synthetic happiness is Acceptance, not faking it.
If you have a sensation that results in happiness it's because of interpretation and translation of that sensation or experience. Often it occurs very fast. Happiness cannot exists without unhappiness and once a person interprets a sensation as something that made them happy the demand comes in to make that sensation last longer. Thus that seeming happiness eventually becomes unhappiness. The thinking mechanism is super imposing ideas and concepts on top of what already has a natural rhythm.
@@delapost You got this! In Truth, and that's all that matters, there can be but one All, one Now, one Presence, one Self, one Infinity. In order to speak on Reality, or the way Life is, one must start with what actually "is." That little word "is." Look it up, it's so often overlooked or misused. Things are not as they appear. Enjoy!
@@ferdinandalexander8053 Can you tell me the source like book or anything that inspire you to have that bilieve or knowledge. Because I read a lot of Indian&Chinese philosophy and this got me to agree with your words. So I wanna know more where and how do you learn from to be your whole thoughts todays
@@delapost Truth is not a belief nor can it be taught. Now, Life, is not a student of Itself. You as you know and experience yourself will never get to where you want to go. There is no “getting to” or “becoming” when it comes to the Now that is Now. Truth cannot be conveyed to another as it precludes otherness. Look within, truth precludes there be any question. Only Now Is. It’s never about the words, as the word now is not the Now Itself. It’s conceptual and not the actual. Now, Life, or Reality, if you will, is not a thing, but that doesn’t mean it’s nothing. It’s all there is of all there is. There simply is nothing besides Alive Conscious Presence. There is a distinction between Awareness and the things you seem to be aware of. You are Awareness, but to put it in a better way, Awareness is You, indeed, It is the only You there is. Reality, Life, is not a vibration, not what is commonly called energy, as Reality doesn’t come and go, ebb and flow, Nothing caused Life, Existence, because it would have had to exist already to do any causing. Existence simply is! Best!
@@ferdinandalexander8053 thank you so much but may be because I'm not very good at english; that's why I can understand a lot but not all of them. So, as I understand, you seem to base things on reality right? Because I grew up with the culture of something that not similar to what you said and it quite difficult for me also cause English is not my mothertongue. And I know that this is not a platform that we can talk to each other comfortably, but I appreciate that you still see and reply comment. And I think that I got one last question for you because I kind of don't want to disturb you or waste your time with like one million questions in my head haha. So if this the last time that we could have conversation like this in the comment section of TH-cam: I wanna ask you What is the focus of your life; what do you see yourself for? Or how much the word "reality" means to you? It's kind of the same question, but my point is that I wanna know how your life is by seeing that you got a very good answer about these things but is that what really is? It's okay to not answer too deep if you think that it is too personal. You can tell me like a basic thing on how your thoughts your answers reflect your life. I'm 20years old this year, I know that still be long to go. I'm very happy that I met your comment that day and I think that I can be the first to say goodbye, and I'll read your reply. So thank you so much Goodbye!😊😊😊😊😊
That was way to fast and complicated im not sure if i got his message. Correct me if im wrong: Happiness does not come from the freedom of choice but from making a choice and settling for the choice you made?
pretty much. Well your not suppose to wait for something to come and make you happy (hence: a choice) you should be happy by appreciating alot more than complaining and therefor happiness should come flying in through the door :)
its not that straightforward . You decide unconciously - that s proven . If you want proof let me know . However your unconscious mind is influenced by your values ie what s important to you ! Hence if you don t like Angelina Jolie there s little chance that you ll just marry her & force yourself to love her . Its more likely you ll choose to marry her unconsciously coz you love her - Dharmendra Rai , Mind Map Trainer
I think people who torture themselves with choice are perfectionists. They believe that they should make best possible choice in this case. Also, those people can't stand uncertainty. It's a known fact that perfectionism may rob joy from your life. So, it seems that it's not really happiness, but absence of misery.
Happiness comes from making peace with where you are and seeing it as the best place you can be. Like the people he mentioned, they all went through very difficult things but then they chose to say "It all turned out for the best".
the hard part is how do you make that peace? If you do not like what you are how do you change to accept what you are? You can try to force yourself to pretend to be happy with your lot in life.. in the hopes that given enough time pretending, you will eventually engineer that acceptance and come to accept what you are and be truly happy. But is that always possible? If you truly dislike yourself, then the pain that you have to endure while pretending to be happy just eats you alive and can become unbearable.. I know, I've experienced it and continue to experience it. It's easy to say happiness comes from acceptance. But the real trick is how do you acquire that genuine acceptance?
Your right, I find joy just watching people having fun. The secret of happiness finally to be revealed. Nothing out there in the world can bring you happiness , happiness comes from your own heart.
Who's here after reading "MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS"
I am still reading it
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Me
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"You ain't gonna get out of life alive, so while you're here you might as well have a good time." - Les Brown
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This has been a message supporting serial killers.
Thanks for that!
Well, I'm paraplegic since before birth, and believe it or not, I'm perfectly happy! Yes!
I believe it
:) So does happiness mean peace and stability?
@@riverdeep399 yes... the excitement you feel from happiness never lasts. Over time, happiness is simply the absence of unhappiness.
Happiness is appreciating what you have. Everything else is a cherry on top. Not needed but a little extra treat. JDvorak9000 thanks for reminding us to be greatful with what we have. ❤
Happy for you!
Amazing! So glad I watched this! Made my night, I was having a horrible night where I was, as usual, blowing up the difference between the good and bad choices in my life. But this video changed my view. Perhaps when we have too much control of our life's circumstances, we worry about the consequences of our actions a lot more and that causes unhappiness and self-doubt but when we let life take its course, we find acceptance and peace of mind.
One of the best Ted talks in my opinion.
I think the key to happiness is keeping your choices open, taking a calculated decision to the best of ability and letting go once the decision has been made. I can truly say that I am happy most of the time because I don't second-guess my decisions. Also when I know I made a bad decision I just accept it and try to look forward to enjoying what I have.
This is the simple beggar mentality - enjoy what I have. You enjoy the little of what you have because you are perhaps just simple and to ask more would be silly.
Exactly. Everytime I make a bad decision. I am happy that I learned from from it! 🙂
@@michaelshannon9169 This is true for beggars and rich people. Look at Bill Gates, divorce. Jeff Bezos, divorce, Elon Musk, divorces. Are they more happy than middle class this way?
@@michaelshannon9169 beggar mentality vs creator mentality
@@iPlayDotaReligiously tell me you watch TH-cam influencers without telling me u watch TH-cam influencers
Came here from book called Master your emotions and I didn't regretted it.
Same
Same
Lesson to learn here: don't wait too long by trying to do the very best decision you can make for your path in life. Take your time to think about the best way to fulfill your life's purpose. Then act and don't get stuck in the decision. Because the decision you really make will make you happier than the other choices you had. Don't overthink and wait until it's too late. Take your time. Make a real decision and go for that way a 100%. The lesson from this video and thousands of people's evidence is: that way will make you happy!
Because it's YOUR way. The way you choose over others.
Go for it!
I suppose that's truth about making choices. But how on earth do I find out "my purpose"?
I suppose I could experiment more with interests.
Wow! Here is another resource about happiness that can also benefit you: th-cam.com/video/RTqy-8qsiLg/w-d-xo.html
Stoicism.
What makes you come up with this lesson? I think his point is that you can synthesise your happiness as long as you have few options. So you can make up your happiness. If so, whats the point of striving for anything to find happiness. Just synthesise happiness in your mind.
LIZ EDION wow! Here’s another religious bullshit
I read his book "Stumbling on Happiness" in my 20s and the point that stuck with me from it is that we're not all that different from others, and if you ask someone about how a certain life decision made them feel that you're also thinking of undertaking (essentially, your future self, but in another person), how they evaluate their decision is probably how you'll evaluate yours 20 years in the future. This has saved from from some awful situations.
This is going to sound stupid but from my short time on earth I've gathered that the happiest people are those that don't focus on their happiness but much rather others.
giving not taking... makes sense every thing I read on how to be happy says focus on giving and being grateful
+iRuiz FiftyFive True, you come from the mindset of abundance while giving.
KingOfAllLamas yope, everyday above ground is a good day!
doesn't sound stupid to me at me :)
“Happiness is having something to love. Greater happiness is when that something is everything. Happiness should not be a goal, rather it is a result of a life well lived. A life well lived is a life well loved. A life well loved is a life where you are one with All. That is, you are a part of All, and All is a part of you. Happiness is a byproduct of the process of increasing the quality of your consciousness."
Love is about other - whether it is about other persons or other everything makes no difference - love maintains the same quality. How far you spread it (how much you give deeply and broadly) is limited only by the size and quality of your personal reality (quality of your consciousness).” ~ Tom Campbell
“Freedom is secured not by the fulfilling of one’s desires, but by the removal of desire.”
Ahh see. Someone gets it. Thank You.
If you remove all desire you are left with nothing... no desire to get out of bed, or to help someone else, or even feed yourself, ( which is rare in the USA). and people would be running around saying (whatever whatever whatevvveeeer) in a real depressed voice. just lower expectations a little and not take things personally.
@@Rogerabushh Roger is dumb.
@@johnwright8405 sometimes
John Wright is dumb and rude
It reminds me of something I watched regarding the negative correlation between the amount of choices you have and satisfaction. Everything ties together so brilliantly.
source. sounds like pillocjk
@@comdrive3865 It might be the talk "The Paradox of Choice" -- Barry Schwartz
Such a great speech indeed. Happiness, like unhappiness, IS a choice. Nonetheless, the speaker pointed out that having a choice (the picture print experiment) could lead to unhappiness, and then he seemed to stop there (correct me if I'm wrong). I'd add one more thing to that: a better way for happiness is not just to choose to be happy, but also to choose to be happy (or at the very least just content) about choices you have made (thus choice becomes another tool for happiness).
One important remark here is that achieving happiness or being content with things should never ever mean that we have peaked and that we need to stop (pursuing whatever it is we pursue). Humans could never have reached the magnificence of the 21st century if they were happy with what they had and just stopped there!
Long story short:
1- Choose to be happy.
2- Choose to be happy about your choices.
3- Don't make happiness stop you from pursuing greater happiness or achievement.
i am happy but i have been depressed its not a choice. it is 100% neurochemical
no@@furybeast68
Think about it this way guys, here's a quote from another brilliant man. "The primary cause of unhappiness is not the situation, but the thought about it" You can be the awareness behind your thoughts and emotions which results in always being happy if you have a well sustained control in this ability of using your consciousness
Well, It's true!!!
Yeah. If you constantly look for reasons to be unhappy. You will find reasons.
He covered that toward the end
Every few months or so, I watch this video again!
And man, it always makes me feel better!
I like the way that Dan Gilbert has put forward his presentation. Firstly to keep the audience involved with his speech he cracks some jokes so that the audience is not only present physically but mentally as well. Secondly to support his written data he has provided enough of statistical graphs and data to convey the meaning of happiness. And finally the difference of synthetic happiness against the actual or real happiness is put forward on point.
According to me the actual happiness gives a much satisfying result or content feeling as compared to synthetic happiness. To me time and decision is inversely proportional to each other. The more time you spend on a decision the more you critics or hate the decision later. Happiness is like a “first come first served dish”, and I bet the first decision you make will never be regretted in your life later.
An interesting speech on how happiness comes from choosing (and not from having choices).
subscribe me
+Marwa Shalabi no
Choosing (I couldn't watch to end so no idea of his punch-line = if there is one, ALL too punchy throughout) from 2 options decided by others neither of which is suitable for my NEEDS? Beggars can't be choosers - but (you say) we're 'happy' to be given the choice of whether the ROCK or the HARD PLACE? Ha ha: choosing from NO choices?
ha ha ha ha ha. happy happy happy?
Universal paradox: Free to choose. But Not Free from the Consequence of Choice. Think about it.
To choose is to be engaged in a goal or under tension. To have chosen is to have put something behind and accepted.
The reverse of this: you can manufacture depression by always thinking negatively and or always looking for the worst possible outcome
Nah, some ppl are drawn an awful hand in life. Done.
when I worry about making a choice and fear regretting it, I eventually always realize that neither outcome will make me as happy as playing video games anyway. true happiness
What a great message this video contains. I've recently been debating between two similar career paths. One pays over twice as much and carries more prestige, while the other fits more with my life vision. After watching this video, I think I'm that much closer to making a decision now :)
Thank you Dan Gilbert for your research and presentation!
take the money
@@Deeznuts-hx1xg yeah lmao, i dont think its in any way wise not to take the money, especially given what kind of world we live in
@@orangecaprinun Incredible how two people can completely miss every single point of a twenty minute talk-minutes after watching it.
Update us please, you think you make the right decision?
@@johannes-diederik2538 saying that wealth and the freedom that comes with it can't be use as a tool for happiness, it's as biases as saying that working in what you love won't make you happier
I promise you, the secret to happiness is gratitude. Gratitude could be one manifestation of synthetic happiness, yes?? Gratitude rather than bitterness? It really is free will. Happiness really is a choice. Which means I create my own happiness -- not that my happiness depends on some kind of good luck or gift of fate. Gratitude or bitterness. Simple as that.
Sylvia Woods I totally agree with you on gratitude thank you
Does it help with depression?
My cousin: fiddle player at a bar. Poor as dirt, always singing, so cheerful to be with.
My old boss: a millionaire, miserable, unhappy guy. insults people, no friends.
HVYMETL I assume they were that way from the day that they were born?
this is logic. yr cousin is doing what he likes and doesn't care for so called material succes and doesn't care what people think of his financial state (or so called succes)yr old boss has waisted his life doing stuff he doesn't like to get appraisel from people who don't mean anything to him.
So one is popular and happy, the other lonely and unhappy. That's not surprising in any way.
Would still rather be rich than broke
the old boss sounds like T-rump
To me, this video just means to keep an open mind and now we think that happiness is just success and money but real happiness is not supposed to keep us on our feet and make us hard workers. We must not depend on happiness. So don't depend on happiness and be it and create it.
In the context of the TED talk I just heard, about the importance of the views of indigenous peoples in vulnerable habitats and how their lifestyles should be influencing our sense of responsibility towards conserving our environment, this talk has proved to be in complete agreement.
I think being content with what you have and have a sense of acceptance is the key to true happiness.
Among the examples, the students who could not change the picture were more satisfied with their choice than those who could. I think I have good memories because I listened to this and chose what I couldn't change once with the best heart and soul. Thanks to this lecture, you can't hope for natural happiness every moment, but I was able to create an opinion that even in such a situation, synthetic happiness can sufficiently satisfy your life.
Short version: "Avoid the feeling of regret."
21 minutes best summarized. This video was way too long winded.
thank you
You are awesome.
In Dans own words. "Natural happiness is what we get when we get what we wanted, and synthetic happiness is what we make when we don’t get what we wanted." When we are left no other option and cannot reverse our decision, then we make synthetic happiness. And synthetic happiness is just as satisfying as natural happiness. I can understand this. Decisions that can be reversed make us think about it, until it no longer can be reversed. Decisions that cannot be reversed right from the start? We accept it and move forward.
I don't understand why people are saying they would prefer natural happiness over synthetic happiness. 1) happiness is happiness. If you are happy, you have happiness. You don't think about whether or not your happiness is synthetic. 2) the whole point of this guys research is showing that we think we know what we would prefer even though our choices make little or even the unexpected, difference. Yet people in these comments are straight away choosing what they think would make them most happy. Am I the only one who sees the irony in that?
Try this thought experiment. Think about the ugliest, fattest girl you could ever imagine. Then imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with her. Nobody would ever think about marrying an ugly girl right? But say they invented a pill that makes you fall in love with ugly girls. Would you feel comfortable taking it?
+Jerry Kim Why not?
Jerry Kim sure, why not? as long as it doesn't affect my health in a bad way, its fine. it's not doing anything wrong. the mind is the mind. the past few years i have been chasing various dreams and goals and they have been falling flat, making me exhausted and miserable. lately ive been getting into meditation and reading a lot of self help books, and i feel much happier than before, even though im working a crappy job and we have no money. my younger self would have said im faking it. i dont know about that, but i know im happy right now
I guess people apply here same logic as when they choose between natural food and modified/synthetic food. Which is of course not a very good idea.
I think it would benefit you if you actually read the study yourself. understand what ignorance is in a globalizing world and find solutions yourself. if someone is truly happy, by rational choice and understanding, although most of the time, any discovery usually leads to more questions. I think the guy is trying to make everyone happy and by showing skepticism towards that, it might show something that you have yet to discover. I do support a you and everyone else here for more introspection. I don't know you, only you know yourself the most. from everyday stimuli that forms who you are and genetics as well. so be happy. good luck. may the force be with u
This is simply amazing...thank you for this. I knew that happiness is a choice but i never quite seemed to understand how to control it. I would stumble every time i made an effort but now i see that i'm just thinking too hard about it. It is what it is, and it's beautiful.
I don't have TV. I was listening to Freakanomics on NPR. They did a piece on Prudential Insurance commercials. I've lived in a mini van for over 2 years. Now after listening to Dan Gilbert I'm gonna see all of North & Central America in my van.
One of the best, if not the best talks on TED. Absolutely great!
TED USED TO BE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
An interesting perspective. Happiness needs to be self-start and not depend on anyone outside.
My wife left me and I´m so hard broken, It is some how comforting to know than in a year I will be just as happy as I was with her.
raultejedor are you happy now?
I recently realised that happiness is a choice. I'm 40 years old. I don't know if I'm dumb or just that I missed it somewhere lol
Im in my 40s. Never had a happy life. Am still miserable.
Freedom is NOT an enemy. If it was, tyranny wouldn't be so hated and feared, nor would slavery. One should not just accept everything that happens to them as out of their control... if someone does something to attack or harm you, don't let them get away with it or they may harm others (jail guy) ... Oh, and instead of giving up the pictures you love, make another copy from the negative one! Think outside the box! Some boundaries/ limits can be overcome if one is creative enough.
My happiness increased when I was a second year student. I realised that so much of the media I consumed was directed at manipulating my emotions in order to get me to do something like support a political candidate or perhaps someone's pet project. I noticed that I was angry a lot of the time. Then I decided that whenever I became angry I would ask myself has someone incited this anger? Who is gaining from this anger? My life changed instantaneously. That was near enough to half a century ago but I still choose not to let others manipulate my emotions and the angst has never returned.
Moral of the story ~
People synthesize happiness; we all have the ability to *choose* to be happy, especially if we make 1-door decisions.
Impact bias = tendency to overestimate the hedonic impact of future events
He says that "synthetic happiness" is as real and enduring as "natural happiness", but he's wrong - it's WAAAAY more real and enduring. "Natural happiness" is completely dependent on external circumstances, is fleeting, and doesn't really qualify as happiness at all. I'd call it ego satisfaction: what about you?
I agree with you @Bethany Hunt.
Totally agree. For example, sometimes you think you want something badly because, maybe, someone else has it. And you put your time and effort to acieve it just to realize,that the thing you got didn't make you any happier.
Alexey Bogdanov I wonder. Are we all just moving to have what we think we want? Or can we move to want something which the whole humanity might want, like good technology, and nice inspiration, and stuff?
Omega Point Singularity I think we stuck in between because modern marketing technologies are wery good at manipulating our true wishes, replacing them with things they want us to buy. To get to know ourselves and the World better we need better education, that they also are taking away.
Alexey Bogdanov I think you described language. Language has enslaved all of humanity. "Buy some Jesus, get heaven for free!". Virtual reality gives us a real chance to recreate language, and make it better so that we can understand better. It might make it all better.
good god i wanna speak like that guy !!!
Fahim Ahmed try to say one sentence that guy said in the speech, and then expand on it with your own thoughts :)
Donde se admitiera minutos y horas☺🔫💀 sobre
I think the abundance of the modern world create overwhelming array of choices. Choice we see as a right: to choose your identity, to choose among the myriad spaghetti sauces in the supermarket, to choose your career. In some ways this choice benefits us, but often it overwhelms. I never look at the menu at a restaurant because it will cause me to question whether or not I'll be happy going with what I came in for. In this way choice is a luxury not enjoyed by a majority of the people around the world. Sometimes it's better to just accept what life gives you and make the best of it.
This is a pretty good argument for arranged marriages, or at least against social media and dating apps. Everybody says you have a soulmate out there, when really you're supposed to make a soulmate out of your partner. And the truth is, your partner will never be satisfied with you as long as they believe they can do better out there.
I'm disappointed I watched this video but I'm sure the next one I watch will bring me happiness.
Thank you, what valuable information! I am so heartbroken right now, I didn't think I could ever recover. Love rejection, you know... Now I know I will.
Wow ! This gives me even more conviction in the theory that a huge amount of critical knowledge can NEVER be gained by 1 ) insight & 2 ) experience but only thru 1 ) Experimentation or 2 ) Third party sources of knowledge like books , talks et al . Thank you Dan Gilbert ! You rock . You convey deep information in an entertaining way - a very rare skill !
let me complete that : a huge amount of critical knowledge can NEVER be gained by 1 ) insight & 2 ) experience 3 ) introspection & 4 ) anecdote - Dharmendra Rai , Mind Map Trainer
Great talk! Indeed, happiness is not something that only can be found, but more importantly, it is something that we can create within ourselves.
Very interesting comparison and well said.. you are so right there are so many of us depressed, unhappy and suffer depression.. Recently a young man jumped from 16 floor killed himself due depression.. This incident had huge impact on my soul I thought i had to do something to help those are unhappy or suffering so after intensive research I came up with 50 ways to happines and started posting them on TH-cam.. I truly appreciate this type of work because 1 million commit suicide according to world health organization every year.. keep it up.
I put this video on to help me go to sleep, only one minute in and I can't keep my eyes open! 👏🏼😴
This video makes me feel a lot less guilty about my plans to enslave the rest of humanity.
I kid, I kid!!
Great video :)
You make my pee pee go DADOING DOING DOING!
pssst. i hav a plan. mail me.
Lmao.. that would just be alot to take on. Ever play The Sims? And think "stupid freaking Sims they don't do anything right when I give them free will.?"
nice goal
White supremacisty has already did that
He's right. It's a skill too! I started being happy when I heard The Verve "Lucky Man" and he explained that happiness is more or less a choice we make! But over the years,I KEEP GETTING STUPIDLY HAPPIER! WOOO! Start now, choose to be happy now! Train it!
This as always been one of my favorite TED talks
For those of you who seem to be focusing on only the choice, that's half of it. The other important part of this talk was what was mentioned in the very first and very last part: the pre-frontal cortex. Yeah, settling for what's present is a big help. This can really be described as "non-resistance" or just acceptance, which I would definitely argue and agree is probably the definite key to happiness.
However, the key to also remember is that the pfc exaggerates both good and bad, and that happiness levels out after both good and bad events. Meaning, that settling for what is in your present only makes the most logical choice! If one is to fall into the illusion of the pfc, then one would be feeling unhappy based off illusory realities!
So, when a person is: 1) in a place of pure acceptance or non-resistance and 2) doesn't fall for the illusory concepts the PFC offers, then they realize that their actual, functional state is one of happiness.
peace
This is a really beautiful comment, thank you so much for this
Those who experience great tragedy have the contrast to experience great happiness.
Happiness is a mentality, how you decide to process experiences - not the experience itself.
This is basic self-awareness; 'enlightenment' is the term - if you're religious.
Sadly is really not something you can teach others, the experience of understanding yourself, bootstrapping... is a journey you must seek out, as only you know the way.
If you are always reaching for help, then you are not in a position to help others; to be a positive force in this world.
Help yourself first and foremost, relinquish your unnecessary dependence, stand on your own two feet and understand what this talk is actually about.
Then you will be able to take those values, and the success you have earned through that journey and use it to help others.
+Blank _____ Well said. And wise. Old person or old soul.
One of the best TED talks!!!! Using philosophies from this for a TED talk I have on "What If Money Didn't Matter?" for my class at MSU. Great stuff!!!
Man, this guy speaks so fast non-stop and won't leave the audience enough time to process what he's saying...
A long time ago I was hired by a district manager to work for my supervisor. He had broken a leg at the time and was not available for the interviews and hiring process. He was absolutely miserable with me. He sabotaged me by not training me, then harassed me by treating me like I was stupid in front of others and gave others a head start on projects, forgetting to tell me and I had to try hard to catch up. I was so happy when he finally fired me.
Be happy with this, whatever this is, because it's scientifically proven that we can be as happy with this as we could be with any other path.
+Julius Fawcett
Deep. Like a tap stuck in the open position!
I think this is very simple if we think about it. The possibility of regretting the choices we make is what makes us think, over and over again whether or not we made the right decision. Therefore, it makes us miserable under the "what if" possibility, the unknown. Living in uncertainly is probably one of the worst punishments that one can do to oneself...
"You find a way to be happy with what's happened."
Just be humble and accepting.
Happiness is real and it starts from within. A heart always filled with gratitude (from within) will always reflect happiness and joy outside, on the face.
Happiness is a choice. Choose to be thankful to the universe, nature, the supreme being, whatever and whoever you call him or her.
Blessed are they who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.
I can't belive i heard what i needed to hear right in the moment i needed to hear it
Even knowing that we are overestimating the difference between the future we want and the other we don't want, this does not shut down the our head which is constantly saying: "the other future is so much better".
My brain must be wired differently. I'm only truly happy when I get everything I want. Having choices is also nice.
Same here
Gotta love how enthusiastic is he
As a problem solver, you are never happy. Because you're always thinking of how things can be better
That's a bit simplistic. You can be happy solving problems.
Happiness what we want. Happiness is the reason why we are striving right now and happiness can obtain in doing good things.
That's why cannabis makes you so content, because it makes you forget that the "grass is gender on the other side" and that the grass that's in your system is what you have.
The grass is gender on the other side, man
Not on this side, but on the other side, maaan. @Jay Oglesby
Grass gets you through times with no money better than money gets you through times with no grass.
Good example of what weed does to you "Grass is gender on the other side" XD
@Jay Oglesby the kind of grass he's talking about certainly does have a gender. At least the plant itself does. Unless you like smoking seeds.
this is by far the best Ted talk ive ever seen, this truly is the secret to happiness
Speechless. Amazingly good presentation. Thought-provoking ideas. Thank You TED!
It shows us that happiness is what we make of it.
Probably my favourite TED talk yet. Definitely going to buy this dudes book. :)))
Don't Worry, No body ever fails any thing ever. Think, you are what you wants to be. Only you can define you. So live.
The grass is always greener on the other side... SO DON'T LOOK!
friends, love, work, service, sunlight, animals, children, family, eating, creativity, purpose, gratefulness, balance, savings, music, beauty, nature, education, self discovery, giving, exercise, enlightenment - these things make me happy
I'm in love with the vibes this man is sending!
NeverStoppedSinging - then try Alan Watts
He has the ability to simplistically convey complex theorems which opens this discussion to many more people than those intelligent enough to be Harvard students. Watched this three times.
This absolutely blew my mind; so happy...or am I?!
One of, if not the best and most helpful (to me at least) TED talks I have seen yet. Thank you very much for sharing your insights. I truly appreciate it.
Isn't synthetic happiness then just a form of denial, whereby you're lying to yourself? I mean spending 37 years for a crime you didn't commit- that guy has every right to be angry with the system! If everyone was happy in this manner, then noone would strive for change...just a thought.
+Vinay Seth Isn't happiness itself a form of denial? Because we all have to settle for something. And even when you get what you want, you are never satisfied, or for only a short period of time, and will always want more, because humans are greedy creatures.
+ProfitableLifestyles Hmm that's an interesting way to put it. However, I have a different take on this. And I'll use this video's message to argue for it.
One thing I take back from this video is that a lot depends on your story about yourself.
I know what you were trying to point out- but the word 'greedy' carries along with it a negative connotation. I could put it in another way- that humans aren't greedy creatures, but rather they have a constant will to evolve and grow, hence finding the achievement they uncovered a while ago to be just a stepping stone to something better. Notice how changing just one word changes the story we are telling ourselves about ourselves. From that perspective, then, it is important that we make sure to congratulate ourselves from time to time and be mindful and thankful for all the things we have at the moment rather than feeling burdened by things we don't have yet or which we have lost.
Thank you for your comment- as it made me think of a counter-point to my argument :)
+Vinay Seth Could that guy be happy he's not in there anymore and then commit to helping others? Being angry with the system is a feeling and doing something to fix the system is an action. You don't have to be angry to effect change. Anger is a personal gap analysis yes, but you don't need it to take action per se. Some of happiness is a choice and the perspective on life events and decisions. Some other aspects of happiness have to do with the level of risk one is comfortable with and the requisite decision making. If my parents never told me I carry a genetic disease, I can either be angry that my parents didn't tell me or grateful that I know so that I can tell my own children. Synthetic happiness is a way of lowering your internal dissonance. It doesn't jive with American individualism and capitalism. Some people have more of a need to belong in community. Freud called people who need religion infantile. He wasn't wrong, but people who need religion don't necessarily use it as a crutch either. It comes down to personality and how you adjust your life experiences to it vs. how you react. It's more of a cumulative effect vs. making choices from door # 1, 2 or 3.
+Vinay Seth well what does it matter if its a form of denial? We already don't know very much about ourselves, about life, about anything, we are forever ignorant, even if we're a little less ignorant over time. To say we're in denial is to also imply that we know the truth about anything, which is a lie! Our perception is all we got as individuals, which very greatly from person to person, right? So we have already chosen our realities. We do it every moment of our lives. If you CHOOSE to try a new restaurant, you might end up liking it or hating it. Cool. But would you randomly try to make yourself miserable by thinking in your free time, "god, I bet there are ridiculously good restaurants out there and I haven't been to them". = ludicrous. Yet we do this with so many other things, creating these weird exaggerations in our heads that put our lives down and put the possibilities on a pedestal. So you could live two ways. You could just enjoy the restaurants you eat at, and be glad you tried them even if you didn't like them, or you could mope about the ones you haven't been to even though you don't know what's out there. That's how I see this anyway. It's all a creation of our perceptions and so, since they are SO malleable, I believe we have much more control of our happiness than we think we do by the choices we choose to take and the stock we put in them.
+Amrit Gill That's an interesting take on it. Yes, I do agree with your point that we create a lot of our happiness and unhappiness through our perceptions.
But at the same time, I would rather be an unhappy free man than be a happy slave of someone else. If I feel my liberty and freedom are being compromised with, then I would try to change the situation, rather than feel happy that at least I have something. I mean that's another way to look at it.
Of course, in real life, both these views are always at inter-play with each other.
Forget the external world all together. Nothing makes us happy except our ability to monitor our thinking and our capacity to see the gifts in what we already have. Just as they say 'money can't buy happiness', I would say nothing can, except self-acceptance and contentment with what we have. Our ego will SCREAM at us if we begin to think this way, but the ego is not our higher self. I practice compassion meditation every night and it helps immensely.
Word 'self delusion' comes to mind...
Contentment vs Happiness also comes to mind.
I'd like to see the same test done on Buddhist Monks (whose ethos so to speak is 'to be free of all attachments) .... What would the results be?
I'm frequently having second thaughts about my choices in life with respect to studies, career, social life, love, etc. Sure, in the context of a casual conversation I usually say I'm happy with my choices to maintain character or make good impression, but in reality I'm often ambivalent or unhappy with my choices, especially since they are indeed irreversible.
Simulated happyness is a gift.
happiness is just a state of mind, if you want happy, and you are happy !
Watching this video helped me understand why dating sites do not work. I’ve been thinking hard about this problem for some time and I believe This is nailing it right on the head!
This is the most enlightening TED talk i've watched so far, and I've seen quite a few. THank you for this talk ;D
Everything works out for the good. When a door closes, a window opens definitely with more possibilities. You'll never know how it could have turned out if you were not diverted, how worse it could have been than how successfull you are now since the change- assuming you have a" positive and winning mindset" whatever curve ball life will throw at you. I love the phrase "manufacture your own experience". Thanks for a great insight!
I am confused. If people can shrug off major life traumas three months later, why does acute stress disorder sometimes progress into PTSD? Why do we even have psychiatrists and psychiatric wings in hospitals if people can say, "I am happy now, yay"?
+lalaithan feedback loops. if you have the same thought for days and days, you will end up interiorizing it, thus creating very strong connections in your brain that will fire constantly any time they get a bit of energy from surrounding stuff. if you enter a negative loop, the only way to stop is rewire yourself. it is indeed harder than it sounds, but willpower is the main factor here. some people just don't believe they have that willpower.
because some PTSD patients experience the trauma over....n over...again.
it does not stop.
this is the diff bw one shocking event n....
one shocking event. resting. shock again. rest n heal....shock. Bam. = PTSD
+lalaithan money
Because this guy's happiness study is bullshit, that's why...oh yeah, the secret to happiness is reducing the secret to happiness to a survey of choosing a photograph, and making the decision irreversible. Does that even sound scientific? No, because there are way too many variables when it comes to happiness, that's why.
Michael Wilson thank you!
There must be a waiting list to take this professor's classes. He's great.
Thank you for this fantastic 21 minute lecture. Amazing research and information. Thank you so much for sharing! Howard Farran DDS, MBA
My mothers been happy go lucky …her whole life ..even after my brothers passing …she’s 91 and happy as can be …she says her happiness is from within her ..🤷♀️..she’s always been this way
This is such wonderful information for everyone! Thank you for sharing this.
some one betrayed badly, it would have been easier on me if he killed me. while after 8 years I still hurt at times he has taught me real empathy and pity, I feel and see more than I ever have
Intelligence is subjective, happiness is an emotion to often confused with a concept
Is "synthetic happiness" the same thing as "fake it to make it"?
Act as if...
Sounds like it to me.
Acceptance.
No.
Faking it means you are pretending.
Synthetic happiness is a survival mechanism that the humans have developed thanks to the frontal lobe in our brains.
We can learn to accept defeat.
And as we go on with our lives, they are still good lives. Therefor it creates the sensation that "it was for the best".
Synthetic happiness is Acceptance, not faking it.
No,
My thought about this is that "synthetic happiness" is "Acceptance",
As "fake it to make it" is "Denial".
The photography example reminds me of buyer bias, where people tend to prefer what they have purchased, rather than admit they made a mistake.
Interesting, I've been doing this my whole life, and I do think I'm happier than others.
If you have a sensation that results in happiness it's because of interpretation and translation of that sensation or experience. Often it occurs very fast. Happiness cannot exists without unhappiness and once a person interprets a sensation as something that made them happy the demand comes in to make that sensation last longer. Thus that seeming happiness eventually becomes unhappiness. The thinking mechanism is super imposing ideas and concepts on top of what already has a natural rhythm.
Sound so great I wanna learn more from you
@@delapost You got this! In Truth, and that's all that matters, there can be but one All, one Now, one Presence, one Self, one Infinity. In order to speak on Reality, or the way Life is, one must start with what actually "is." That little word "is." Look it up, it's so often overlooked or misused. Things are not as they appear. Enjoy!
@@ferdinandalexander8053 Can you tell me the source like book or anything that inspire you to have that bilieve or knowledge. Because I read a lot of Indian&Chinese philosophy and this got me to agree with your words. So I wanna know more where and how do you learn from to be your whole thoughts todays
@@delapost Truth is not a belief nor can it be taught. Now, Life, is not a student of Itself. You as you know and experience yourself will never get to where you want to go. There is no “getting to” or “becoming” when it comes to the Now that is Now. Truth cannot be conveyed to another as it precludes otherness. Look within, truth precludes there be any question. Only Now Is. It’s never about the words, as the word now is not the Now Itself. It’s conceptual and not the actual. Now, Life, or Reality, if you will, is not a thing, but that doesn’t mean it’s nothing. It’s all there is of all there is. There simply is nothing besides Alive Conscious Presence. There is a distinction between Awareness and the things you seem to be aware of. You are Awareness, but to put it in a better way, Awareness is You, indeed, It is the only You there is. Reality, Life, is not a vibration, not what is commonly called energy, as Reality doesn’t come and go, ebb and flow, Nothing caused Life, Existence, because it would have had to exist already to do any causing. Existence simply is! Best!
@@ferdinandalexander8053 thank you so much but may be because I'm not very good at english; that's why I can understand a lot but not all of them. So, as I understand, you seem to base things on reality right? Because I grew up with the culture of something that not similar to what you said and it quite difficult for me also cause English is not my mothertongue. And I know that this is not a platform that we can talk to each other comfortably, but I appreciate that you still see and reply comment. And I think that I got one last question for you because I kind of don't want to disturb you or waste your time with like one million questions in my head haha. So if this the last time that we could have conversation like this in the comment section of TH-cam: I wanna ask you What is the focus of your life; what do you see yourself for? Or how much the word "reality" means to you? It's kind of the same question, but my point is that I wanna know how your life is by seeing that you got a very good answer about these things but is that what really is? It's okay to not answer too deep if you think that it is too personal. You can tell me like a basic thing on how your thoughts your answers reflect your life. I'm 20years old this year, I know that still be long to go. I'm very happy that I met your comment that day and I think that I can be the first to say goodbye, and I'll read your reply. So thank you so much Goodbye!😊😊😊😊😊
That was way to fast and complicated im not sure if i got his message. Correct me if im wrong: Happiness does not come from the freedom of choice but from making a choice and settling for the choice you made?
pretty much. Well your not suppose to wait for something to come and make you happy
(hence: a choice) you should be happy by appreciating alot more than complaining and therefor happiness should come flying in through the door :)
its not that straightforward . You decide unconciously - that s proven . If you want proof let me know . However your unconscious mind is influenced by your values ie what s important to you ! Hence if you don t like Angelina Jolie there s little chance that you ll just marry her & force yourself to love her . Its more likely you ll choose to marry her unconsciously coz you love her - Dharmendra Rai , Mind Map Trainer
I think people who torture themselves with choice are perfectionists. They believe that they should make best possible choice in this case. Also, those people can't stand uncertainty. It's a known fact that perfectionism may rob joy from your life. So, it seems that it's not really happiness, but absence of misery.
Happiness comes from making peace with where you are and seeing it as the best place you can be. Like the people he mentioned, they all went through very difficult things but then they chose to say "It all turned out for the best".
the hard part is how do you make that peace? If you do not like what you are how do you change to accept what you are? You can try to force yourself to pretend to be happy with your lot in life.. in the hopes that given enough time pretending, you will eventually engineer that acceptance and come to accept what you are and be truly happy. But is that always possible? If you truly dislike yourself, then the pain that you have to endure while pretending to be happy just eats you alive and can become unbearable.. I know, I've experienced it and continue to experience it.
It's easy to say happiness comes from acceptance. But the real trick is how do you acquire that genuine acceptance?