You're not kidding. I've been to just about all of these except United Meth. They all seemed to have two things in common: entertain you, and make you feel good about getting your money.
Ah, now you make me feel bad about calling it satire. No, not really. Sadly I understand and agree with your comment. In the Bible we are told of a falling away. I was taught those would be non-believers. Now I find the opposite to be true. If you get an opportunity I would be interested in your thoughts. BTW I study scripture and pray daily and am involved in three home Bible studies and times of worship each week. No money taken. I've never before experienced this closeness to the Savior and God Almighty. Be a blessing.
Indeed. American Protestantism is full of crazy offshoots and things that are or turn into heresy. Mormon, Unitarian, Woke, JWitness and the suffrage denominations are stem from American Protestantism
"The more you give, the MORE Jesus will love you!" And as I look out at all ya right now, the Holy Spirit is tellin' me that you all need extra love from Jesus!" -Rev. name withheld to protect the guilty. I no longer attend that church.
Since some people seemed to have missed it, the video's point is that neither politics nor earthly wants should supercede Jesus. He and He alone should be the focus of your life and dictate everything therein. Not the rainbow flag, not Trump, not the smells and bells, not expedient interpretation of the Word. Him and only Him. The King of Kings.
The only one missing that I've experienced is the one in which at some point in the service, the pastor says now we are going to have everyone start speaking in tongues.
That “kids in the Sanctuary” bit was BRUTAL. 😂 I’d actually like to see a video discussing family integration on the channel if there isn’t one already.
The Church (Saint Pauls Evangelical Connexion, Fleetwood, Lancashire, UK.) I fellowship with (online, its 105 Miles away so I cannot get there in Person right now, but its the *Nearest* Bible Believing Reformed, conservative, Church to me that Fully accepts Disabled Members, there is a nearer Reformed Church, Saint Silas, which is within a Mile, but they have a *very* low view on the Disabled Sadly, so me being on the Spectrum is making me very reluctant to approach them as I fear that I would be shunned. But the One that is 105 Miles away fully accepts the Disabled in line with John Chapter 9.) has Children right at the Front, and the Pastor (who, I think is actually originally from Australia) does *Not* pull His Punches despite that, it is a full Adult Sermon, Children or not, the Children are fully accepted as part of the Ministry, and cared for too, one recent live stream even saw the pastor Delaying the Sermon for 30 seconds by stopping and tying a child's shoelaces for them (which was adorable), so that Red flag is not there thankfully! More Churches need to learn from that! Children are very, very, Precious unto Christ after all! Love and Peace.
In the church I go to they are ok in the sanctuary but, if the young children become unruly like starting to make tk much noise there is a nursing room in the back so they can still listen to the sermon but won't disturb the others in the sanctuary or become a distraction. It isn't anything special in the nursery as it is a small church but, they just have a TV that plays the sermon with some speakers to hear it well.
@@MygoalweightThat is a good idea, as the little preschoolers can get a little Rowdy if tired, that is a very good compromise, parents don't miss the Sermon, nor do the Children, and the Pastor does not get interrupted, best of all worlds!
I had to leave my old church over my son. When COVID started they closed their kid's ministry and said limited seating only for adults. A church where children aren't welcome is a church where parents aren't welcome and will literally die off in a generation. 🤦♂️
0:55 Yeah, using a hawk screech instead of an eagle call is DEFINITELY a red flag. (Just about everyone uses hawk calls instead of eagle calls, because eagles sound silly, but that doesn't make it accurate.)
I attended a church by invitation from a fellow Christian I worked with. The next week they informed me about an author I should read who would bring me to better interpretation of scripture and hidden "truths" I was missing out on even though I spend two hours every morning studying the Word. I believe the alarm went off when I heard that I had been missing the "real" interpretation of Christ. I'm not saying their little group was a cult but that, combined with the teaching that Sunday on Malachi 3 and robbing God of tithes from His storehouse, and a final prayer for those who were not tithing to come back so God could bless them, made me feel like their pastor was a student of Kennith Hoagland or someone like him. I told my co-worker I probably wouldn't be attending any other services there and I was weary of such authors revealing "unknown" truths or a better understanding of who the "real" Jesus is. I spent 3 years every morning on Revelation which does lead you to almost every other book in our canon and I've got a pretty good idea of who He is. King of kings and Lord of lords, the Alpha and Omega. The first and the last. The Messiah, the Christ. The Anointed One. The only begotten. My creator and author of my faith. The only one to ever die for me and the firstborn among men. If some author is gonna "reveal" the "real" Jesus, I don't really want to hear about another version or whatever demonic force led him to believe. Scary how loud that alarm was when it went off and you really just want to make like Joeseph and run out of there.
@@Metal_Auditor Legit truth; I am aware of an ELCA church near our home that did a children’s Christmas pageant last year, and incorporated a “trans Joseph” 😳😳😳😳. Vile pagans. I don’t even call that a church. Just a weekly social club for spiritually dead people.
@@Metal_Auditor I always say that United Methodist, ELCA, Episcopal, PCUSA, & UCC are not churches. They are weekly social clubs for spiritually dead people.
Oh no! How dare a church be loving and accepting! That's not what Jesus would've wanted! ...Oh wait, yes he would've. The fact you call the LGBTQ+ community "alphabet people" shows how little respect you have for those who are different than you. Please re-read your Bible and open your heart to the concept of tolerance and loving your fellow neighbor.
I’ve actually encountered a few of these. Couldn’t leave fast enough. You forgot the “piped in” pastoral video presentation where they are reviewing a book, usually his own. Yeah, I’ve seen that too.
KJVonlyism is such a disease. Luckily, my family left that extreme. I've been condemned as a Satanist and told I'll never "come to the knowledge of truth" all because I don't subscribe to KJV only. Not that I don't even sometimes use the KJV, that because I dare use any other version at all... Crazy.
@@ihiohoh2708 Wow, Satanist. That's rough and I totally get what you mean. They thought I was a heretic when I started attending and joined a Presbyterian congregation. Not to mention their Arminianism AND Dispensationalism... I'll never go back.
I'm Latino so was raised Catholic, went to Catholic High school, even went to Catholic University for a while. I had never even heard of the KJ Bible until I was in my 40s and left the Catholic Church. I think it's a beautiful version and is the version our country's founders grew up with, and it's SO DIFFERENT from what I grew up with as a Catholic, so I guess I don't get all the hate against it. It sounds to me more like an internal problem that outsiders like me don't get.
@@historyandhorseplaying7374 It is not hate about the KJV. It is the Onlyism groups aka cults. Most Christians I have ever known have great respect for it. Even if they don't use it . The issue is sects esp. the Independent Fundamental Baptist variety that turn it into an idol. Their condemnation and many times outright lies about good modern translations is the key issue. You will find the most generous comment about modern versions like NKJV, NASB or ESV to be faulty or perversions. To being called satanic bibles. The strongest criticisms I have heard the other way tend to be it is difficult to read and understand. That is the difference.
The worst is the UCC placard outside their churches which would keep me out. It goes like this:: "God is still speaking." That is code for Woke. God is not speaking. He has already spoken in His word.
@@pjetri24 Yeah KJV churches can be found in all denominations even Presbyterian I’ve seen. Preferring the KJV is fine. Seeing the KJV as divine revelation to the point people of all languages, including Greek/Hebrew, should learn English just to read the KJV is a whole other thing.
@@pjetri24 I genuinely think a lot of the crazy KJVonlyists are apostate. Their idolatry of the KJV puts it above God Himself. In fact, some will actually tell you that to some degree.
@@pjetri24 Don't get me wrong, I love the KJV. I think so long as people learn all the nuances from the archaic language, such as "by and by," it's a great translation. Everyone should own at least one KJV for its poetic beauty alone. Just that there is KJV only or KJV preference. Then there is KJVonlyism, which is a whole religion.
AT 1:44, AN ACCURATE PICTURE OF FLATIRONS COMMUNITY CHURCH IN COLORADO! FICC is plays a lot of ungodly music such as Katy Perry, Imagine Dragons, songs such as "Hey Mickey", "Bohemian Rhapsody", "I wanna rock & roll all night!" during praise and worship. They are big on Prosperity Gospel, never mention hell, sin, judgement, repentance, or salvation. The pastor wears skinny jeans, and a t-shirt,and there is no formal membership!
Friends moved to Colorado and were looking for a church when they got there. It was just before Christmas and they started going. On Christmas eve the service included a visit from Santa Claus. Bye, bye.
That’s the church I ended up at (looking for a new one currently). Sadly I left my NKJV Bible there over break… I hope I will find it intact and not in the trash.
As a former one myself, I understand. My heart breaks for those who are trapped in legalism, since I remember vividly how cold and self-righteous I was. Praise God, he showed me how I can love with grace and still uphold truth.
I went to a school by them and like as a kid, I may have been too indoctrinated to realize but it didn't seem that bad, they knew my brother and I went to a church that uses ESV and I still remember I had the best teacher I ever had in that school (the school closed down cause the principal was diddling kids) but like besides that it was pretty good
Generation Next Church, ANNUAL celebration of the Lords Supper? Wouldn’t want to overdo it!😂 Diet Coke and Nacho Doritos? RC Sproul said….because the Lord didn’t consecrate peanut butter jelly sandwiches and Coca Cola!!!! Sorry..a reference to an old answer he gave why bread and wine? Another wonderful video Pastor Foskey
The Lord's Supper? Matzohs and real wine? Everyone drinking out of the same cup? Why does the Catholic priest get to drink the wine? Jesus passed the cup to the others. Fun is they serve at multiple services. The symbolism of the LS is the important thing. I know of a missionary in SE Asia who used breadfruit and coca cola.
@@knothead5 Somehow that just seems wacky breadfruit and coke? I get the symbolism but I think it should include some sort of bread type product that can be broken for you. I was responsible for a little while to prepare the Lords supper for our church and I was tasked to find a cracker that had no yeast, surprisingly difficult, I finally found a water cracker. Blessings to you🙏
@@Savedbygrace22 I think the issue here is that some scoff at using completely different elements....but are ok with their wafers (not the unleavened bread Jesus used) and grape juice (also not what Jesus used). Why is some deviation acceptable but not others?
Grew up Lutheran (the proper kind) and just kinda assumed every church was the same when I joined the military.... Then I ended up going to at least half the churches in this skit before learning my lesson. Whew.
Thankfully, we aren’t the only society who has gotten it wrong since the early church. Nor will we be the last…God is good and gracious to His people. May Christ come soon!
We used to attend a KJV only church. I continued to bring my ESV, and was amused because every time the pastor would try to explain an archaic word in the text, he’d unknowingly use the wording that I had in front of me in my ESV.
With the same 6000 words Missing as the Jesuit bible, and thousands More words Changed, the arrogantly titled "esv" is as bad as any of them. When you cannot read The "Every Word of God" as we are newly created in Christ to feed upon, You're missing nourishment... If the "esv" had All the words of God in it, instead of the "Same O, Same O" omissions as Any Roman Catholic Statist bible made & sold for the Protestant masses, it might be worth a read... But until then, you're malnourished. It's Not a Standard just because they copyrighted the name "Standard" in the title Before they translated it...! That's All about the Money, Honey: 2-Peter 2:3 warned us... Read that passage and Don't neglect its application. As @kylec8950 pointed out, by implication, you don't have "better renderings" when the words aren't even there... 😳 (Are they Ghost words? You can't even see them?) I'm not even a KJB Only proponent, and I laughed at that video segment as much as the rest, so if you can read JP Greens Literal Translation, or several others with All the Words in them, or the original Geneva Bible, or Reformation-Era Bibles, Have at it: at least they have All the words as God Promised Every generation would have, not just this one with "later manuscripts" to "correct" God's words that He already Blessed for all these centuries before the "corrections" by Rome... 📖 ✝️ 💝 The AV is readily available; And has All the words. It needs to be reread, Not revised. Peace to You in Your Hunt for Truth 🕊️
Let’s just ignore all the things that the new versions just flat out delete from gods word, let’s ignore all the verses that are completely changed to fit certain “denominations” narrative
My wife and I laugh a lot when writing the script. I do break up while recording sometimes, but usually because I forget my lines. I have several dozen “takes”
Walking into a Novo Ordus Catholic Parish and seeing the drum and guitar set up by the Sanctuary (we call the it the Nave, what everyone else calls the Sanctuary)
Laodicean Church Age...here we are! We are the last before the return of Christ (2nd Advent) and the Glorification of His Saints that comes with it. There is much to fear, but even more to be hopeful for. *Soli Deo Gloria*
Do believe sin exists? Do you hate rock music in church? Do you like kids? Are you sick of "pastrix's " and annual celebrations of the Lord's Supper? Then you might be interested in the Catholic Church! Our moral theology manuals blow the Methodists out of the water, and we invented Gregorian chant! Plus, we all have about a billion kids, all of whom are baptized. We even have the Lord's Supper daily-and it's the REAL Lord's Supper, none of this grape juice and cracker nonsense. Come visit your local Catholic Church today! Available in any city near you!
I actually went to a church where they didn't allow even teenagers in the service. I remember me and my friend were headed to the youth service, and i asked? "Why can't we stay in there?" And she repiled,"only adults get to stay there." I was about 12 when this happened. Very strange. Also visited a church that was desperate for people's money and did, in fact, had a statement up on the welcome card asking for more than 5$ to be placed in the offering plate.. 💀
I actually go to a church that believes you should burn any other translation that is not the authorized 1611 King James. other than that it seems to be a pretty decent Church
Same. I like my KJVO church. I was willing to overlook that quirk for the time being, but it as a lot of other problems too, like the pastor preaching heresy and saying random offensive opinions.
@@gigahorse1475 KJVO in and of itself is heresy. Therefore it’s only natural for it to have others. Let me guess, Nestorian? Possibly even semi-pelagian?
@@playdiscgolf1546 KJVOnylism is apostate with their idolatry of the KJV translation. So much so that the idea of any other translation, even if they have the exact same meanings, are Satanic and automatically condemns anyone who reads them. It is a cuIt plain and simple. Now of course you will deny this, but that is because you are a part of it. So why ask questions you don't want real answers to? That is called intellectual dishonesty.
@@playdiscgolf1546 Furthermore, what are the two greatest commandments? To love God and love your neighbor. Now how are you loving God OR your neighbor by attacking their faith in Jesus Christ with your legalism? Spoiler: you're not.
Churches ⛪️ have become more like clubs and secular venues. It’s really sad 😞 to see that churches seem to care less about the lost and hurting and more concerned about their own time being spent with their families rather than taking as much time to care for and mentor people. Sure they’ll do the bare minimum as long as they are inconvenienced. They’ll say anything like “just pray 🙏 and ask God to help you.”
"If you have young children and don't know it, we have a creche upstairs". "After this morning's service there will be a pot luck lunch followed by prayer and medication". "Next Sunday's preacher is hanging in the porch".
You missed the "church" where the pastor descends to the stage riding a roller coaster and then hops out onto a motorcycle to ride to the center of the stage. All because he wanted to open with some analogy about the "roller coaster of life" or something, and show off his new Harley just for the heck of it. Who always wears short sleeves to make sure the arm tattoos are visible.
Come out of her my people... Revelation 18:4. Come out of her is a command that has its own strength even if you've never heard it. You may feel it pulling and pushing you.
Yeah I know that ‘place’ that refuses kids in sanctuary under like 12. If a baby cries you get the look , must leave , and then hear how rude that is while he’s talking 🤦♀️
This doesn't even feel like satire anymore, these problems are so common.
You're not kidding. I've been to just about all of these except United Meth. They all seemed to have two things in common: entertain you, and make you feel good about getting your money.
Most American churches could be catagorized as Laodician
Ah, now you make me feel bad about calling it satire. No, not really. Sadly I understand and agree with your comment. In the Bible we are told of a falling away. I was taught those would be non-believers. Now I find the opposite to be true. If you get an opportunity I would be interested in your thoughts.
BTW I study scripture and pray daily and am involved in three home Bible studies and times of worship each week. No money taken. I've never before experienced this closeness to the Savior and God Almighty. Be a blessing.
Indeed. American Protestantism is full of crazy offshoots and things that are or turn into heresy. Mormon, Unitarian, Woke, JWitness and the suffrage denominations are stem from American Protestantism
It's both funny AND depressing because it's true.
I literally thought the same thing!
"The more you give, the MORE Jesus will love you!" And as I look out at all ya right now, the Holy Spirit is tellin' me that you all need extra love from Jesus!"
-Rev. name withheld to protect the guilty.
I no longer attend that church.
Couple of zingers here but “pastrix” nearly killed me
The sad thing is that many of these aren't parody
As soon as I heard the eagle screech, I half expected something to drop on the pastor from on high (and I don't mean God's grace)
🤣🤣
In other words. If Jesus ain't first, it ain't church.
True. Church to many is *only* a way to socialize. Not that it's wrong to socialize at church, but church is about God first. It's the Lord's day.
In the beginning was the word and the word was with god and the word was god
The only thing that should mean anything is the word of god
...and if they don't even call it a church.
Since some people seemed to have missed it, the video's point is that neither politics nor earthly wants should supercede Jesus. He and He alone should be the focus of your life and dictate everything therein. Not the rainbow flag, not Trump, not the smells and bells, not expedient interpretation of the Word. Him and only Him. The King of Kings.
Yep. I have said before that God's Word doesn't need a gimmick. That's what many of them are doing.
The only one missing that I've experienced is the one in which at some point in the service, the pastor says now we are going to have everyone start speaking in tongues.
As someone forced to attend a prosperity gospel church. Let me say that this hits home. Salutes from México.
That “kids in the Sanctuary” bit was BRUTAL. 😂
I’d actually like to see a video discussing family integration on the channel if there isn’t one already.
The Church (Saint Pauls Evangelical Connexion, Fleetwood, Lancashire, UK.) I fellowship with (online, its 105 Miles away so I cannot get there in Person right now, but its the *Nearest* Bible Believing Reformed, conservative, Church to me that Fully accepts Disabled Members, there is a nearer Reformed Church, Saint Silas, which is within a Mile, but they have a *very* low view on the Disabled Sadly, so me being on the Spectrum is making me very reluctant to approach them as I fear that I would be shunned. But the One that is 105 Miles away fully accepts the Disabled in line with John Chapter 9.) has Children right at the Front, and the Pastor (who, I think is actually originally from Australia) does *Not* pull His Punches despite that, it is a full Adult Sermon, Children or not, the Children are fully accepted as part of the Ministry, and cared for too, one recent live stream even saw the pastor Delaying the Sermon for 30 seconds by stopping and tying a child's shoelaces for them (which was adorable), so that Red flag is not there thankfully!
More Churches need to learn from that! Children are very, very, Precious unto Christ after all!
Love and Peace.
In the church I go to they are ok in the sanctuary but, if the young children become unruly like starting to make tk much noise there is a nursing room in the back so they can still listen to the sermon but won't disturb the others in the sanctuary or become a distraction. It isn't anything special in the nursery as it is a small church but, they just have a TV that plays the sermon with some speakers to hear it well.
@@MygoalweightThat is a good idea, as the little preschoolers can get a little Rowdy if tired, that is a very good compromise, parents don't miss the Sermon, nor do the Children, and the Pastor does not get interrupted, best of all worlds!
@TJWard-ps5if I thought that was a common thing...but maybe not??
I had to leave my old church over my son. When COVID started they closed their kid's ministry and said limited seating only for adults. A church where children aren't welcome is a church where parents aren't welcome and will literally die off in a generation. 🤦♂️
0:55 Yeah, using a hawk screech instead of an eagle call is DEFINITELY a red flag.
(Just about everyone uses hawk calls instead of eagle calls, because eagles sound silly, but that doesn't make it accurate.)
This has been the most consistent critique of this video lol!!! Looks like I need to make a short video showing the difference lol
Haha yes eagle calls are way too cute
America's bird must be the bald eagle as an adult when he's not eating and when he's not making any noise
Well these days the hawk may well be the more appropriate mascot.
I attended a church by invitation from a fellow Christian I worked with. The next week they informed me about an author I should read who would bring me to better interpretation of scripture and hidden "truths" I was missing out on even though I spend two hours every morning studying the Word. I believe the alarm went off when I heard that I had been missing the "real" interpretation of Christ. I'm not saying their little group was a cult but that, combined with the teaching that Sunday on Malachi 3 and robbing God of tithes from His storehouse, and a final prayer for those who were not tithing to come back so God could bless them, made me feel like their pastor was a student of Kennith Hoagland or someone like him. I told my co-worker I probably wouldn't be attending any other services there and I was weary of such authors revealing "unknown" truths or a better understanding of who the "real" Jesus is. I spent 3 years every morning on Revelation which does lead you to almost every other book in our canon and I've got a pretty good idea of who He is. King of kings and Lord of lords, the Alpha and Omega. The first and the last. The Messiah, the Christ. The Anointed One. The only begotten. My creator and author of my faith. The only one to ever die for me and the firstborn among men. If some author is gonna "reveal" the "real" Jesus, I don't really want to hear about another version or whatever demonic force led him to believe. Scary how loud that alarm was when it went off and you really just want to make like Joeseph and run out of there.
Sounds like Gnosticism.
You should have Your Methodist character meet up with a UCC character and have them try to out virtue signal each other.
“Hold my beer”, says the Episcopal Church.
Great idea
@@patrickc3419 ELCA might top all of them.
@@Metal_Auditor
Legit truth; I am aware of an ELCA church near our home that did a children’s Christmas pageant last year, and incorporated a “trans Joseph” 😳😳😳😳.
Vile pagans. I don’t even call that a church. Just a weekly social club for spiritually dead people.
@@Metal_Auditor
I always say that United Methodist, ELCA, Episcopal, PCUSA, & UCC are not churches. They are weekly social clubs for spiritually dead people.
These skits never disappoint!
After hanging around nondenoms for the first several years of being a Christian, the LCMS is such a breath of fresh air.
Amen and Amen! Couldn’t agree more!!!
Agreed, but I come from an SBC background.
What's the LCMS church?
The Anglican Church in North America (ACNA) is also a breath of fresh air.
@@allisvanity...9161that’s funny
Real. Its so hard to find a normal church where the word is preached, the sacraments are rightly administered, and the people act human.
I ended up in CREC but they are still somewhat rare. Many states have only one or even none.
The big one nowadays is if you see the alphabet people flag displayed in the window. You don't even have to go inside to catch this one.
YES!! A big Presbyterian one down the road from us (before we moved) had several. I shuddered every time I went past it.
There is a Methodist church near me that flies a rainbow flag from its flagpole.
@@katie7748 PCUSA?
Oh no! How dare a church be loving and accepting! That's not what Jesus would've wanted! ...Oh wait, yes he would've. The fact you call the LGBTQ+ community "alphabet people" shows how little respect you have for those who are different than you. Please re-read your Bible and open your heart to the concept of tolerance and loving your fellow neighbor.
@@ihiohoh2708
They’re the bad ones. PCA, and OPC are the good Presbyterian.
PCA’s only well-known bad apple that I know of was Keller.
I’ve actually encountered a few of these. Couldn’t leave fast enough.
You forgot the “piped in” pastoral video presentation where they are reviewing a book, usually his own. Yeah, I’ve seen that too.
Authorized Version Bible Church 🤣🤣 Coming from an IFBC background I about died lol
KJVonlyism is such a disease. Luckily, my family left that extreme. I've been condemned as a Satanist and told I'll never "come to the knowledge of truth" all because I don't subscribe to KJV only. Not that I don't even sometimes use the KJV, that because I dare use any other version at all... Crazy.
@@ihiohoh2708 Wow, Satanist. That's rough and I totally get what you mean. They thought I was a heretic when I started attending and joined a Presbyterian congregation. Not to mention their Arminianism AND Dispensationalism... I'll never go back.
@ihiohoh2708 if only more people know what they were idolizing...
I'm Latino so was raised Catholic, went to Catholic High school, even went to Catholic University for a while. I had never even heard of the KJ Bible until I was in my 40s and left the Catholic Church. I think it's a beautiful version and is the version our country's founders grew up with, and it's SO DIFFERENT from what I grew up with as a Catholic, so I guess I don't get all the hate against it. It sounds to me more like an internal problem that outsiders like me don't get.
@@historyandhorseplaying7374 It is not hate about the KJV. It is the Onlyism groups aka cults. Most Christians I have ever known have great respect for it. Even if they don't use it . The issue is sects esp. the Independent Fundamental Baptist variety that turn it into an idol. Their condemnation and many times outright lies about good modern translations is the key issue. You will find the most generous comment about modern versions like NKJV, NASB or ESV to be faulty or perversions. To being called satanic bibles. The strongest criticisms I have heard the other way tend to be it is difficult to read and understand. That is the difference.
The worst is the UCC placard outside their churches which would keep me out. It goes like this::
"God is still speaking." That is code for Woke.
God is not speaking. He has already spoken in His word.
Absolutely fantastic! Had me laughing, but also concerned as I have experienced a couple of these. Especially the last one. Please do more! God bless.
Should have just had a woman behind a pulpit saying “good morning” then a red flag 🚩
😂😂😂
“Trial By Fire” 😂🤣😂🤣
This is true! I’m tired. Last Sunday I had to shield my eyes from the strobe lights during worship. It’s exhausting.
These are so true. True gold brother! Love it.
The only wrong part was the smash the patriarchy temple caring about sin
And calling God "the Lord".
The credit card got my dying 😂
The laughs started with the bald eagle and continued through the end.
So accurate. Please keep making these videos.
A pastor friend of my husbands preaches at a KJV only church. Whats really funny is that half the congregation doesn't use the KJV. LOL 😆
then it's not a KJV only church but just a KJV church.
@@pjetri24 Yeah KJV churches can be found in all denominations even Presbyterian I’ve seen. Preferring the KJV is fine. Seeing the KJV as divine revelation to the point people of all languages, including Greek/Hebrew, should learn English just to read the KJV is a whole other thing.
@@ihiohoh2708 I agree. I am a KJV only but I reject that and all other wacky things some KJV onlysts believe.
@@pjetri24 I genuinely think a lot of the crazy KJVonlyists are apostate. Their idolatry of the KJV puts it above God Himself. In fact, some will actually tell you that to some degree.
@@pjetri24 Don't get me wrong, I love the KJV. I think so long as people learn all the nuances from the archaic language, such as "by and by," it's a great translation. Everyone should own at least one KJV for its poetic beauty alone. Just that there is KJV only or KJV preference. Then there is KJVonlyism, which is a whole religion.
Perfectly funny! Needed the laugh especially as I'm just recently in between churches
If Excite Worship needs a bassist I’m in 😂
I'm down for Sound Guy. I play a mean mixing board!
If you want worship with some testosterone, Holy Name is a good start.
AT 1:44, AN ACCURATE PICTURE OF FLATIRONS COMMUNITY CHURCH IN COLORADO! FICC is plays a lot of ungodly music such as Katy Perry, Imagine Dragons, songs such as "Hey Mickey", "Bohemian Rhapsody", "I wanna rock & roll all night!" during praise and worship.
They are big on Prosperity Gospel, never mention hell, sin, judgement, repentance, or salvation.
The pastor wears skinny jeans, and a t-shirt,and there is no formal membership!
Had to rewind couldn’t hear over myself laughing! 🤣🤣
Already shared 3 times!😂
Awesome, thanks bro!
@@ConversationswithaCalvinist I prefer the pronoun bro-ette. 🤷♀️😁
Friends moved to Colorado and were looking for a church when they got there. It was just before Christmas and they started going. On Christmas eve the service included a visit from Santa Claus. Bye, bye.
As a former Independent Fundamental Baptist and KJV onlyist, I loved the “Authorized
Version Bible Church” bit. 🤣😂
That’s the church I ended up at (looking for a new one currently). Sadly I left my NKJV Bible there over break… I hope I will find it intact and not in the trash.
Please make some content of some kind about how and why you escaped
My KJV that I travel with at all times is digital-is it acceptable?
As a former one myself, I understand. My heart breaks for those who are trapped in legalism, since I remember vividly how cold and self-righteous I was. Praise God, he showed me how I can love with grace and still uphold truth.
I went to a school by them and like as a kid, I may have been too indoctrinated to realize but it didn't seem that bad, they knew my brother and I went to a church that uses ESV and I still remember I had the best teacher I ever had in that school
(the school closed down cause the principal was diddling kids) but like besides that it was pretty good
Generation Next Church, ANNUAL celebration of the Lords Supper? Wouldn’t want to overdo it!😂
Diet Coke and Nacho Doritos?
RC Sproul said….because the Lord didn’t consecrate peanut butter jelly sandwiches and Coca Cola!!!!
Sorry..a reference to an old answer he gave why bread and wine?
Another wonderful video Pastor Foskey
Ahh, good old R.C. Such a cheeky sense of humour and a wonderful man of God :) great teaching and great memories.
The Lord's Supper? Matzohs and real wine? Everyone drinking out of the same cup? Why does the Catholic priest get to drink the wine? Jesus passed the cup to the others. Fun is they serve at multiple services. The symbolism of the LS is the important thing. I know of a missionary in SE Asia who used breadfruit and coca cola.
@@knothead5
Somehow that just seems wacky breadfruit and coke? I get the symbolism but I think it should include some sort of bread type product that can be broken for you.
I was responsible for a little while to prepare the Lords supper for our church and I was tasked to find a cracker that had no yeast, surprisingly difficult, I finally found a water cracker. Blessings to you🙏
This scenario was in the Philippine Islands. Bread not readily available. How many use real wine?@@Savedbygrace22
@@Savedbygrace22 I think the issue here is that some scoff at using completely different elements....but are ok with their wafers (not the unleavened bread Jesus used) and grape juice (also not what Jesus used). Why is some deviation acceptable but not others?
Our Pastrix the Right Reverend Barb! 😂😂😂
Grew up Lutheran (the proper kind) and just kinda assumed every church was the same when I joined the military.... Then I ended up going to at least half the churches in this skit before learning my lesson. Whew.
Pastorx. 😂😂😂 Word of the day.
I heard it said all comedy needs an element of truth to it in order to be really funny.
The sin of toxic masculinity! 😂😂😂 Well if I have to pick a favorite sin, this would be it. 🤣🤣🤣
Spot on, Keith!
Thankfully, we aren’t the only society who has gotten it wrong since the early church. Nor will we be the last…God is good and gracious to His people. May Christ come soon!
You forgot "Checked the church's website and the leadership/staff bios all start with their pronouns"
We used to attend a KJV only church. I continued to bring my ESV, and was amused because every time the pastor would try to explain an archaic word in the text, he’d unknowingly use the wording that I had in front of me in my ESV.
What did you do when he read a verse that your version doesn't have?
With the same 6000 words Missing as the Jesuit bible, and thousands More words Changed, the arrogantly titled "esv" is as bad as any of them. When you cannot read The "Every Word of God" as we are newly created in Christ to feed upon, You're missing nourishment... If the "esv" had All the words of God in it, instead of the "Same O, Same O" omissions as Any Roman Catholic Statist bible made & sold for the Protestant masses, it might be worth a read... But until then, you're malnourished. It's Not a Standard just because they copyrighted the name "Standard" in the title Before they translated it...! That's All about the Money, Honey: 2-Peter 2:3 warned us... Read that passage and Don't neglect its application.
As @kylec8950 pointed out, by implication, you don't have "better renderings" when the words aren't even there... 😳 (Are they Ghost words? You can't even see them?)
I'm not even a KJB Only proponent, and I laughed at that video segment as much as the rest, so if you can read JP Greens Literal Translation, or several others with All the Words in them, or the original Geneva Bible, or Reformation-Era Bibles, Have at it:
at least they have All the words as God Promised Every generation would have, not just this one with "later manuscripts" to "correct" God's words that He already Blessed for all these centuries before the "corrections" by Rome... 📖 ✝️ 💝
The AV is readily available; And has All the words. It needs to be reread, Not revised.
Peace to You in Your Hunt for Truth 🕊️
@@MichaelTheophilus906 Huh. The KJV/NKJV has all of them.
@@MichaelTheophilus906you’re spewing lies
Let’s just ignore all the things that the new versions just flat out delete from gods word, let’s ignore all the verses that are completely changed to fit certain “denominations” narrative
I wish this was satire
I wanted to throw a tomato at you, because of how real these red flags are. xD
Funny and sad at the same time... Brilliant!
I wonder how many takes this took you. I’d be dying laughing at all these
My wife and I laugh a lot when writing the script. I do break up while recording sometimes, but usually because I forget my lines. I have several dozen “takes”
@@ConversationswithaCalvinist You need to put out outtakes videos. I bet they are great!
Hahaha this is gold, thank you 😂
HA HA @ THE KJV-ONLYIST ONE. I mean, this is ALL hilarious but that one was great.
My Bible Study teacher grew up in a church which held the Lord's Supper only once a year. On Easter Sunday.
Salivate church lol .. GOD BLESS you sir
This is a winner!
Who wears a bow tie with a polo shirt anyway?!? Major RED FLAG! Yes, triple red flag.
Thank you.
What, no apostles?!?
Many go to church to worship their pastors!!
I love that you included the Trump church part! So sad but so true
yup, that was funny, but I don't think I was laughing when I recognized my church.
Walking into a Novo Ordus Catholic Parish and seeing the drum and guitar set up by the Sanctuary (we call the it the Nave, what everyone else calls the Sanctuary)
Laodicean Church Age...here we are!
We are the last before the return of Christ (2nd Advent) and the Glorification of His Saints that comes with it.
There is much to fear, but even more to be hopeful for.
*Soli Deo Gloria*
2:22-2:45 I think this is where Phil Vischer and Andy Stanley go to church.
When they shower you with gifts upon entry
Hubby and I worship at home b/c the chruch we want to go to is all the way in Canada so we watch their sermons online.
Do believe sin exists? Do you hate rock music in church? Do you like kids? Are you sick of "pastrix's " and annual celebrations of the Lord's Supper?
Then you might be interested in the Catholic Church! Our moral theology manuals blow the Methodists out of the water, and we invented Gregorian chant! Plus, we all have about a billion kids, all of whom are baptized. We even have the Lord's Supper daily-and it's the REAL Lord's Supper, none of this grape juice and cracker nonsense.
Come visit your local Catholic Church today! Available in any city near you!
The last one should have been done by the Episcopalian from '12 Denominations of Christmas'
I loled at the Doritos and diet coke 😂
Here's today's passage, this is from the JPB, that's Jim's Paraphrase Bible!
Actually heard that once...
I hope I find my precious NKJV Bible where I left it accidentally at my old KJV-only church. 😭
I don't know, I liked the Patriot Church...😅
I actually went to a church where they didn't allow even teenagers in the service. I remember me and my friend were headed to the youth service, and i asked? "Why can't we stay in there?" And she repiled,"only adults get to stay there." I was about 12 when this happened. Very strange.
Also visited a church that was desperate for people's money and did, in fact, had a statement up on the welcome card asking for more than 5$ to be placed in the offering plate.. 💀
1:53 I’m Catholic, and love my Gregorian chants as much as the next guy. But if my church brought a band and played these songs that’d be awesome.
I get suspicious if I don’t get coffee and donuts 😂
I enjoyed watching this
I actually go to a church that believes you should burn any other translation that is not the authorized 1611 King James. other than that it seems to be a pretty decent Church
Same. I like my KJVO church. I was willing to overlook that quirk for the time being, but it as a lot of other problems too, like the pastor preaching heresy and saying random offensive opinions.
@@gigahorse1475 KJVO in and of itself is heresy. Therefore it’s only natural for it to have others. Let me guess, Nestorian? Possibly even semi-pelagian?
@@ihiohoh2708explain how believing there is one word of god is heresy? I’ll wait for a logical and biblical response
@@playdiscgolf1546 KJVOnylism is apostate with their idolatry of the KJV translation. So much so that the idea of any other translation, even if they have the exact same meanings, are Satanic and automatically condemns anyone who reads them. It is a cuIt plain and simple. Now of course you will deny this, but that is because you are a part of it. So why ask questions you don't want real answers to? That is called intellectual dishonesty.
@@playdiscgolf1546 Furthermore, what are the two greatest commandments? To love God and love your neighbor. Now how are you loving God OR your neighbor by attacking their faith in Jesus Christ with your legalism? Spoiler: you're not.
Smells like teen spirit, crazy train, enter sandman, I’m a rock fan/nerd so that part was awesome to me 😂
Why does Constitution Community Church seem like its run by the Non-denominational/Big Eva guy?😂
It’s s funny, Keith!😂
This morning, we are going to force you to speak in tongues. Now repeat after me, "ShelaBoughtaHonda."
Here in southern California, there actually *is* a church called Church of the Way. Don't know if they're like the example, though.
“Pastrix” 😂
Excellent
Churches ⛪️ have become more like clubs and secular venues. It’s really sad 😞 to see that churches seem to care less about the lost and hurting and more concerned about their own time being spent with their families rather than taking as much time to care for and mentor people. Sure they’ll do the bare minimum as long as they are inconvenienced. They’ll say anything like “just pray 🙏 and ask God to help you.”
"If you have young children and don't know it, we have a creche upstairs".
"After this morning's service there will be a pot luck lunch followed by prayer and medication".
"Next Sunday's preacher is hanging in the porch".
I think I’ve been to a couple of these “churches”… 😂
You missed the "church" where the pastor descends to the stage riding a roller coaster and then hops out onto a motorcycle to ride to the center of the stage. All because he wanted to open with some analogy about the "roller coaster of life" or something, and show off his new Harley just for the heck of it. Who always wears short sleeves to make sure the arm tattoos are visible.
Come out of her my people... Revelation 18:4. Come out of her is a command that has its own strength even if you've never heard it. You may feel it pulling and pushing you.
'Satire' or 'Public Service Announcement' 🤔
Okay, but the rock concert one? My former church essentially devolved into that (thus, why it’s “former.”)
When satire is reality…
Superior Theology is nowhere to be found!
Yeah I know that ‘place’ that refuses kids in sanctuary under like 12. If a baby cries you get the look , must leave , and then hear how rude that is while he’s talking 🤦♀️
The pastrix 😂 nice.
You release a live bald eagle in the sanctuary, I guarantee that I will definitely start praying ... so there's that.
Where is the Church of Christ Evangelist calling to repentance everyone who has sung with a piano?
The churches I've been to
had no qualms nor shame to talk/ask about financial giving!!
In fact
That's their main priority and motivation!!
Nachos and diet coke!!!😂
Agree with all of them! Except the King James Bible one, of course.