1. Invalidation 2. Blameshifting 3. Projection 4. Word Salad 5. Gaslighting 6. Hurt & Rescue 7. Use Your Emotional State Against You I have experienced every single one of these with my ex... so painful... exhausting...
Yup, same here. But I always knew that I wasn't d problem. Even though we clashed, cus we're just like each other in many ways. I am about 2 get rid of his narcissistic ass. About 2 go NO CONTACT! B)
Sarah Hopkins a public service announcement from those that commit the atrocities, I have only heard a narcissists admitting to wrong doing just long enough to gain control of a crowd ,to turn the tables and stay under the radar. I’m afraid that this has become a cancer and it runs through all the people of our country no matter the title etc etc etc. It seems to becoming the norm.
My wife would push my buttons and get me to lose my cool only to try to film it and make her self look like the victim. I let my anger get the best of me by buying into her BS. Maybe I’m slightly narc myself. But I don’t think 🤔 so. I’m so confused now. But I have empathy and
b Dub that's what happens, it makes you question if you're the narc ... stick to your truth! every action has a reaction ... so, it's normal to give them backlash ... until you realize the whole situation is toxic & brings out the worst in YOU ...
I think it’s important to know that most narcissists do actually feel empathy. Psychopaths are the ones without empathy. Empathy is feeling others’ emotions in your body, as a reflex. Most narcissists feel empathy and it is a bummer to them-they are annoyed that they have to feel others’ pain, so they do things like invalidate the other person’s pain. Compassion is empathy plus tenderness/care/love/desire-to-help. Narcissists lack compassion (not always, but for people they see as a threat to their self-esteem). Compassion is the key. And luckily it’s a skill anyone capable of empathy can build through loving-kindness meditation and compassion meditation.
Hearing that one literally made me feel sick. I always get told that I am the issue because I eventually become emotional, hurt, flustered and panicky. It always starts with him sounding so cruel and vicious, and it's like it's cathartic to him when I start crying. My pain soothes him. He has broken me down to the point where I don't believe that anyone else will want me, and to be honest I've always attracted these sorts of people
Sometimes it's harder than that. In my case, it's my mum. Outside she puts on an act of the "hurt mum who has bad children and a lot of trauma". At home her children are the blame for everything- her stress, heart problems, etc... I've only just realised this year that she's a narcissist and she's made it so that she has complete control over my siblings; financially, emotionally. They can't just get up and leave because they're underage and there's no where for them to go. It sucks.
@@ginnieeleven2611 I grew up with Narcissist sisters watched them Suck the life out of Our Mom. Our Dad was very Ill,.but their Craziness took precedent over anyone or thing. At 12 I became the invisible child. At 15 I dropped out of school got a job for money/ Independence, experience/training and at 19 had my own business. You'll be amazed at what you/ siblings can do to escape and survive. I would help your sibling establish a life minus your Mom. I Watched Our Mom til the end of her life trying to support and guide her Mentally lll daughters. On her Death bed in Hospice they Gas lighted Mom and made fun of her. She couldn't speak but you could see the shook and Hurt in Mom's eyes. These 3 Crazies still try to get me back in their insane orbit after all these decades. From a distance I seen their Marriages, Careers and lives fall apart. Now some of their Kids,.are just as manipulative and Hero/Vitcim personalities. Me I am just avg., happy what I got and Thankful to the Lord that I had Good parents who raised me right. Sometimes I wish it was different,.but experience and maturity tells me it can never be.
still trying to figure out who's the narcissism, me or my ex o.O I do have generated anxiety disorder and clinical depression and asthma and Myasthenia Gravis...Both my parents are narcissists..your health will let u know.
OMG 😂😂😂 this is unreal. I’ve heard every single one of these tactics pulled on me for YEARS. literally never ever knew they were a narcissist until now. Amazing.
Once I realized they never cared about my feelings, I stopped caring about theirs. Conversations/debates were easy after that, because I was no longer questioning my sanity and trying to coddle them. It’s interesting being told something that you absolutely aren’t or even how you think and feel. When I laugh and say obviously you don’t know me as well as you think you do. Then the name calling starts & they start loosing control! They turn into the 12 yr old that they still are.
Not even 12, more like 2. Seriously, Narcessist behaviors are due to arrested development caused by abuse/instability during early childhood. They never got their emotional needs met from a very early stage, so they never learned how to care about anyone else's emotional needs but their own. It's really sad. But still, don't let them use the fact of their victimhood to victimize you.
I grew up with a narcissistic mother. She would hit me and all of my siblings and just deny deny deny that she had ever touched us until she was red in the face. Even when we were bloody and bruised.
Ya after 2 hours of by them yelling a and spitting insult after insult finally you raise your voice and immediately you responsible and it’s your fault.
Oh so true! When he starts yelling, telling me i have to be quiet and that I should listen (whilst I'm being quiet already) and I'll ask him to please not yell, he'll say "why are you raising your voice? Stop raising your voice. Why do you always have to raise your voice? I can't even calmy say something to you and you just have to yell at me" and so on..
Once my narc got upset and started yelling again. I kept calm though which again was my mistake. Didn't realize beforehand the word "calm" could be used like an insult in a conversation. Must admit, now that I know how she's thinking it's a lot easier for me to handle.
@Jennifer Knee Very true... and their over the top emotions, yelling, threats, (pretended) lack of self- control, and other abusive tactics send your brain (the NORMAL, CARING person) into a panic!
@Holden Mcgroine What you're describing is called going "grey rock." It's useful to get you by in the heat of the moment sometimes, but it won't work every time. They will eventually get pissed that you aren't responding to them enough. Like another commentor in this thread said- his narc actually insulted him for remaining calm while she was yelling at him. There is literally NOTHING anyone can do to please a narc. Not consistantly or in any healthy manner, anyway. The only thing to do is to GET OUT. Go no contact. And stay gone.
No, you are not alone. Narcs all read the same playbook. They may look different on the outside use different words or languages, but they are the same on the inside, using the same tactics.
Oh no sweetie, I thought that too. We are not alone. Channels like Michelle's really do empower us and make us feel a part of something good all of a sudden
@@Feequilts that's my big problem because it didn't feel like my narcissist ever read any playbook and also don't use tactics to put others down. it's like don't try to change me and don't critisize my behavior, i did so much for this family, please love me how i am and don't blame me all the time or fuck off because i will not change for you.... and i'm like your personal behavior is not good enough for any positive environment, you make me sick, i can't have you in my life anymore .... and now i feel like the big problem and narcissist because i have so much anger for this person and the rest of the family because they are protecting him, i lost so much because of all that and i can't let go. i hate myself even more because i had to knew it better, i was a healthy person and i can't stop blaming a sick mentally disabled person (narcissist) for hurting me again
Snub Dawg I feel for you. My narc is only that way with me too. Don’t hate yourself, you’ve been through hell as we all have. I never used to let anything go, everything was a very personal attack on me, even though I knew what I was being told about me wasn’t true. I was nobody to me, just a worthless soul being made to feel sad or told I’m useless. I can’t stress enough how much NET therapy helped me. It’s all about dealing with your earliest traumas and processing them out of the body. These traumas are always triggered by what the narc does to you today. I can’t believe how much I’ve changed and let it all go. I now have my own valid thoughts and a soul. My narc has had a secret life I didn’t know about and he gave me a lot of grief to protect it. I don’t care about that now and am able to focus on me. I was told he wasn’t going to change for me either and he was proud of his drinking problem. The moment I told the guy delivering the dozen cartons of booze to the house that none of it was for me, I saw the narc’s Achilles heel. He was ashamed of it. He was a little smaller to me that day. They will do anything to stop you exposing their lies and deeds to others. It came as a shock to me that I knew I had to leave. I couldn’t say it for months and I lost my voice for 6 months because of it. You deserve more than the narc and his family. You deserve to be the person you were born to be. Once you start going through the process of healing, there’ll be no stopping you and you’ll be happy to leave that part of your life behind and be excited about the new chapter.
I need to watch this every day..until I get the courage and ability to leave. This is my reality check. “The narcissist doesn’t care” that was very eye opening. I waste so much time and energy trying to defend myself in a discussion that started over something completely unrelated...usually about my feelings or being lied to😔😢😢
Basically same. Just Pray. God gave me the courage to leave a guy that was supposedly ready for marriage. Always tried to manipulate me into thinking that other females that he used to mess with were okay with being around😂👌🏼 No thank you sir. Get out.
@Ken Richard I have been married to this man for 20 years. We have 5 special needs children and no other family. I did not realize what he was or that it wasn't something he would change or eventually get better until 3 years ago in marriage counseling (that he was order to attend by his military job due to other circumstances). I had been operating under the illusion that what was going on was that he had autism like my children and that everything was my fault..and no matter what I did, it was wrong, and somehow I was not loving him correctly. But like my children I would not give up loving him ot trying to help just because he had autism. I did not realize this was covert narcissism or what that meant or why my efforts were never going to go anywhere. After weeks of therapy and my husband dancing around the topics and shushing md and making the counselor believe I was the devil(or so I thought he had him fooled). The counselor walks in and hands me a newspaper article titled "Is this autism or narcissism? The difference is intent" After we both read the article my husband was quiet. The next day he texts me randomly "yup...That is me" I call him because I had no idea what he meant, and asked about the text. He then tells me that he is a narcissist knows it..is ok with it but will never admit it to anyone else and will deny the conversation if I bring it up. He admits he enjoys saying things to hurt others and is not sorry "everyone else is not as smart as he is and cant figure it out". He tells me he sees me as worthless because anyone stupid enough to love him and believe him, must not be smart or worth much. I tried to leave this man once and he almost successfully tried to kill himself. I am in survival mode almost every day. The situation I am in is very very complicated and I'm just thankful for these videos so I can do a reality check with myself and not keep falling back into believing I'm worthless and garbage and always wrong or at fault(although people I used to know say I'm a shadow of who I used to be). We pretty much live separate lives in the same home. I put all I have into raising my children and he does anything he wants..with whom ever he wants. I stopped asking questions or asking for change or respecting years ago. It wont change. So I get by and survive and have a way to care for my kids and get the medical and therapies we all need. He is nice to all of us as long as I just let him always have his way and never every question it. So I do. No I'm not happy, but my kids are, and they are well cared and oblivious to all of this (they love their dad with all their hearts..because I make sure they only see the good) and I hide my feelings well. I always will. 👍
@@breezeh1127 Wow! I was wondering not too long ago if it might be in any way linked to autism or not. I'd like to look that article up. I only have one child myself not with him luckily.. we've been in a relationship for almost 10 years now it feels more like roommates. Before I learned about narcissim he was messing with my head so much I couldn't function I got really depressed constantly crying & just wanted to stay asleep. I'd say I spent about 6 months in the bed then I noticed how badly that was affecting my health & knew I had to make myself keep going for my daughter then I found these videos. I'm lucky my dad lives next door and could help with her then I couldn't even focus on her homework it was way different from how I normally am. I'm usually a positive happy person. I'm finally feeling better just not yet out of this mess yet. I watch these videos daily still also
@@MegDD3912 I truly feel for you. Thus sounds so very very similar 😔 I'm sorry you have had to endure a life like this too. The article was in a psychology news paper of some sort. I will see if I can find anything online.
My wife of 23 years has done this to me so many times. I'm glad that I have found videos such as these because I finally realize that I don't have to spend time trying to figure out why she acts this way! Now I know! Thank you!
Julia Miller sad that you don’t understand the difference between mental illnesses but instead watch videos like this and now you think your ah doctor I feel sorry for you and the journey you have ahead of you
@Ronnie Moron - The Clinton Foundation, you mean that foundation the Republicans have investigated to death over the last 30 years and haven't one piece of evidence to indict them on? I bet your one that believes area 51 really is full of alien artifacts, or there was a child porn ring in the basement of pizzeria and they were sending all the children to mars to serve in brothels. I would check those mushrooms if I were you.
@Ronnie Moron - Seriously, it's quite a narc trait to presume to know how a democratic majority think. And yet you spout tired, worn out Conspiracy Theories and claim to know all the Truth that no one else does. Spoken like a true Narcissist QAnon fan. Let me guess, no one really understands all your genius level comments? Ya, well maybe there is a reason for that, and no it's not because your a stable genius. End of Conversation, I have learned over the years don't bother discussing things with CT level Narcissists, they can never see Conspiracy they don't love.
I confronted my ex about constantly ghosting me and she said I was taking it too seriously. And she EXPECTED me to be friends with her after we broke up. If that doesn’t scream narcissist then I don’t know what does
@@jojobrown2504 Right! When you get upset they act like it's a personal attack on them. They're the badly-done by, forgiving, long-suffering support system; somehow you've become the unstable manipulator.
When you start thinking you need to record a conversation you know you are dealing with gaslighting. My x constantly did this I started to think I was crazy ,do your research to find the clues don't even bring it up cause it will be your fault once you have found you are dealing with a narcissist pack your stuff and run
If you are isolated and rely on only the narcs feedback to color your world. It can literally drive you crazy. You can no longer trust your reality. You can become so confused, your brain cannot discern sensory input properly. You can become a schizophrenic. I have seen it happen. I am not kidding
We are not the only ones it happens to, I used to think that. Her favorite one after totally frustrating me was " oh and look who's angry again." If you try to make someone into the monster you want them to be, you turn onto the monster yourself. I never had so much self doubt when I was married to my wife. It even started with her when we were dating.
Hell yes! It always comes down to blaming it on something that happened over 3-4-5 years ago or even way in the past. Or you say something logical about what they’ve done or how they made you feel in recent time, and they spin it around to the time “you made them feel the same way”, even if it’s past history by a long shot.
I just found my mother before she died 20 years ago and I've done the same with my family I keep them Beyond arm's length so I'm all alone, but I'm happy
A ton of times I would look around like is this real did she really say that? Other times it was word salad that made my head spin like "wtf is she talking about". Once she was done with what she wanted to say, it was like talking to a brick wall. It's so frustrating! The thing to remember is they are not in the same reality as you. Therefore you can't reason with them. With the help of channels like this one I now have peace in my home and am free to live my life to the fullest and thrive on! Thank you Michelle!
James the Brovivor The Bible describes the person who uses "word salad", and calls them a fool. Ecclesiastes 10:13-14 "…13 the beginning of his talking is folly and the end of it is wicked madness. 14 Yet the fool multiplies words. No man knows what will happen, and who can tell him what will come after him?"
Oh my God... my ex is now agry wtih me after I told him I recognize some things in his behaviour (I didn't mention narcissism). But he changed and from a sweet guy he became angry and cold, with spiteful remarks... he even told me today that my new perfum stinks while everyone else acknowledged how nice it smells.
narcissists like to change conversions and go off subject a lot to avoid the problems at hand. they only care about their own thoughts and likes always putting the blame on you
As a seasoned veteran I can only say everything here is spot on times a thousand. Once you realize a cluster b knows how to manipulate every normal human decency tendency , you will never look at your abuser the same. And thats a good thing for you.
I tried having a real conversation with my narcissist neighbor, and I need a drink and a psychiatrist afterwards. That conversation left me in the Twilight Zone.
Recently during a fight my mother says to me "If you were seeing things clearly..." and I was thinking "You are freaking gaslighting me right now." Shortly afterwards I ended the conversation. Later she came to me and tried to hug me and "make up" but I wasn't ready so I stopped her, and she started crying and said "I will take all the rejection you dish out and I will STILL love you!" I said I wasn't rejecting her, I needed a real resolution to the argument before I was ready to hug it out. She really didn't like that. Ever since she's been trying to be super nice and help me out, etc. Now I know that's probably some hurt and rescue BS. Ugh. I am so grateful for this channel! It's terrible that there are so many people having to deal with narcissistic people, but it is so nice to know that I am not alone!
My mother uses all these tactics then says I'm too sensitive. After bold face lying and manipulation, denying any wrong doing and playing the victim. I've always said shes 2 faced and self righteous, now I know it's called narcissism. Thank you. Years of therapy, and you cleared her up to me the 1st video.
This sums up a two hour meeting that I had with my wife, who I separated with a year before. Thought I could work things through with her but she played it exactly like you said. At the end of the conversation she walked away entirely composed, having stated that I was "a broken man", while I was left distraught. What she failed to grasp was that at the end of the conversation I had figured out what she was doing and what she was - my feeling distraught was in response to the recognition that I'd devoted 36 years to a narcissist. I had wasted my life with a selfish individual who had no real feelings for me. It took weeks before I regained my equilibrium. I know now that it is pointless to engage with a narcissist.
During a conversation with my ex I commented that something he had said was “Very droll” he took offence and asked why I would call him boring, I pointed out that ‘Droll’ means witty or quick witted. He argued, I got the O.E.D. from my study and proved him wrong. He then said the O.E.D. was 10 years old and the meaning had changed. I pulled up the on-line version and showed he was mistaken. He then got snippy and accused me of having a need to always be right and win every discussion (which I so don’t) and stomped off to his parents house. They really are so childish and self-deluded it’s almost funny.
And always requiring someone else besides you to tell them anything!!!! Ok so you could be the world's expert on anything and he would invalidate your opinion and need another one...and if that one agrees with you he will need another one and so on and so on and so on....for eternity. It is not about what is true or correct. That is so not the end game...ever.
@@hannahjohnson808 Ignoring you is the only break you are gonna get. Enjoy the vacation from invalidation...although this is a form of invalidation. My narc does this when he does not know what to do.If it bothers you, he will continue. I would consider it a bonus: at least he isn't talking. :)
That’s when you get out and smile with your new person , as you will feel like a new person then. It will take time but it is not healthy. Please don’t just brush this comment off.
"It looks like you're speaking a different language" exactly! They can even twist the meaning of commonly used words to make you feel like you are getting them "wrong"
yeah or they say "so I see someone has been manipulating u". when u have ur own opinions but they blame a person for it instead of validating what u say.
@@enednas801 yes! My narc ex would say "what kind of TH-cam video's have you been watching this time" and the day I broke up with him "well now your parents got what they wanted, that you broke up with me" like I can't have my own opinions or can't decide for myself... It really pissed me off
Yes my stepdaughter will yell in the conversation and say we started the whole thing by yelling at her. We try to say no we didn't, we were calmly asking you about it (something she did disrespectful) and she would continue to say we yelled and twist what went on completely around. She has our 1 1/2 yr old grand baby and one on the way by a married man and we have had to cut her off. It sucks because my children really love their siblings and we miss our grand baby but can't handle this narcissism. She is jealous of everything that goes on with our younger children and expresses it but when questioned she says we did this or that to cause it to go wrong, it's awful. She hates anyone to speak into her life and keeps people under her .. if she can't she does the gaslighting to wear them down to get what she wants. She has always had people help her but ' never' asks for help, she manipulates it so she can say she's never asked for help and she 'doesn't need anyone'.. she uses men horribly and I told her baby daddy she was using him.. and boy that went over well.. now she has real ammunition against me. 'I ruined her daughters life'. Well, anyway, it's very tough but we said enough is enough.
This is so true about the gaslighting part. He would change his words each time and deny promises that he made, even though I had CLEAR EVIDENCE of what he said previously.
My dad does that all the time too from a very young age. And in the few instances where I just happened to have physical proof he was in the wrong, then he would just rage and yell at me about hurtful and completely unrelated things, like how ugly and useless I am to him. And then tell me to stfu, and every once in awhile I was smacked across the face for it. If I bring up these instances now, both my parents will deny it ever happened and my brother was too young to remember and my dad acts super nice when outside people are around so no one would believe me. The worst part is, I KNOW my mother remembers because a few times after I tried to talk with them about it, she denied it with my dad, but afterwards pulled me aside and quietly told me I'll "just have to out up with it, because my father isn't from this country and it's just cultural differences." "He's just hard on you because your the oldest and a girl" is what she would tell me sometimes, but when other people were around would flat out deny anything ever happened.
Tell me about it. But I had those texts proving she intended to pay me back the money she owed. Can you guess what she did? Started talking about completely unrelated bullshit.
I used to think she suffered from 'MSU' = making sh*t up. Now that I've learned she is just a narcissist and it was all a strategy, and...... I'm not really crazy. Amen!
Just listening to this awsome explanation reminded me of how draining physically and mentally I used to be after each interaction. 7 months after breaking free 🙂 once you have this knowledge you won’t forget and it has helped me everyday.
Word salad...perfect!!!!!! Recently had a convo and I stepped back in my mind amd maintained focus. I spoke calmly and redirected back to this person's incapacity to take responsibility for their actions. This sent them.immediately into a narc rage and they hung up on me after cursing uncontrollably. Finally, I'm getting the hang of this.
@Travis O'Hara try repenting of your sins and trusting alone in Jesus Christ that God might save you from the Wrath that is to come! This always works!
Wow. When you got to number seven, it gave me flash backs of situations like that where I've been. Where I had been driven insane by their use of the tactics, and they were the ones acting calm. And if looking from the outside in that moment, it would appear as if I was the one who was the problem. Great job Michele, it's evident you know what you are talking about by the way it brought me right back to those moments. Seeing you explain it out, brings me a sense of closure to those tormenting times. Thanks
My ex-narc did this to me so often, I thought I was losing my mind. Many time he would use all of these techniques to provoke me and get me into an emotional state. I found out later that he video and audio recorded me in those states, while he appeared calm and in control and played them for people to make it look like I was the unstable one and he was a poor victim.
Some of these things I already knew how to do. I remained calm and firm in my ground against a narcissist and he ended up in tears. I used his tactics against him. IT TOTALLY ROCKED!
Man it’s crazy this video is so on point. My mom never wants to be seen as wrong. She haves to be right no matter what. A conversation about something that happened today will turn into something someone did years ago. She be drivin me crazy. She loves that shit so much.
Hi, wanted to introduce myself. I just came out of a very abusive relationship, and I ended it because he is exactly what all of your videos are. I just wanted to tell you, thank you so much for your wisdom. It’s been a few months now that I’m not with him. And as time goes by I realize more and more how much of a terrible situation I was in. You are so smart, and you are so correct on all of this Information. You have made me feel that I’m normal all over again and that I did the right thing by ending the relationship!!
I eventually quit engaging in any conversation with the x narc. He would start 4 different sentences, talk for 20 minutes & say absolutely nothing. Forget the topic at hand. Butting in the middle of a conversation I was having with a friend with something completely unrelated & usually rude, just to pout & have a tantrum when I wouldn't immediately do what he wanted..I would just cringe at the thought of another grueling, nerve wrecking sentence. Even when a simple "yes" or "no" answer was enough, another 20 minutes of agonizing, senseless BS was coming out of his mouth. Word Salad..made me want to rip my hair out..
@@ML-qs3tf Yes he would. By the time the conversation was done the original topic had been long forgotten. I'd be so frazzled & guilt ridden..about absolutely nothing..he was always going to say something when I would talk..(like taking your last breath sound) constantly interrupting. Never on topic. The frustration was endless!
Mary L yeah lots of questions None of which seem to make sense And they constantly don’t understand you even when you are CRAZY clear in what you’re saying. They say they don’t get it
Debbie, my EX-narc would always deny he said something, confusing and frustrating me to no end!! Thank God he discarded me --- greatest gift of my life. He retracted all financial help, but there's PEACE in my poverty
I have to disagree on a point here: The narcs I have encountered have definitely "validated" but it was totally empty and was totally a tactic they consciously used to "shut me up" and to try to pretend that they "cared", but when it came down to actions, then they would turn around and do the exact opposite action to cause the same hurt or "invalidate" again and again. -- So they can definirtly pretend to "validate" you, bu it's totally empty and is a total lie and done consciously .
Good point . We have to remember that narcissistic people have different tactics with different people . They know what will work with different people. My ex- narc did the same thing, but not all the time . I like to think that they are predictably unpredictable. Either way , I hope you and everyone else watching this are healing and moving on . Best of luck to you .
What you described can be part of the "hurt and rescue" cycle she mentioned. They learn how to appear validating when they hurt you, then use that fake validation to manipulate in some way. 💔
Spot on. The smarter, covert narcissists are masterful at the false validation tactic. It's hella confusing until you're completely out of the situation, but when you are, it gets really clear what was happening. At least for me.
They spin the conversation around in circles without addressing your point, feelings, etc. Invalidation. They keep going back to their point and keep the conversation in revolving door fashion. Ive seen it in a lot of people, not just with one person
Just put a wedge in that revolving door! Tell them that their manipulating game is up and use their lies on someone else. Yes, there seem to be a lot of them but some have learned that behavior from narcissist parents and the way to tell is if you offend a real narcissist off he will pout and leave.
Evil, cruel, cold people. All of your videos are spot on. I wished I had seen your videos years ago. Thank you for what you are doing to get people out of this mess.
OMG! THANK YOU! Some people are so well versed in being narcissistic, they TRULY had me believing sonething WAS wrong with ME and my lifestyle.THANK YOU FOR OPENING MY EYES!
She’s so on point with this! I have to remember this cuz he’s been doing this for years and still is! I’ve had enough and this video is helping me take myself back.
I can't believe how accurate this is, I'm glad i finally managed to get out from a relationship with a narc. I lost almost everything throughout all the time wasted on her but at least in the end I found myself again and gather whatever's left of my sanity and move forward with life
I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR VIDEO'S! THANK YOU! I AM FINALLY AWAY FROM MY LAST NARCISSIST AND FINALLY CAN SEE CLEARLY WHAT NARCISTIC ABUSE IS... AM NOW SHARING YOUR INFO WITH ONLINE FRIENDS I KNOW ARE GOING THIS THROUGH... YOU MAKE IT VERY INFORMATIVE ON A CLEAR AND SPONTANEOUS WAY... YOU STAY ON TOPIC WHILE YOU ALSO SHOW SOME EMOTIONS THAT MAKE ME BELIEVE YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH... I GET TEARS IN MY EYES EVERY TIME I REALIZE HOW MANY OTHER WOMEN GO THROUGH THIS AND FEEL SOO ALONE!!
Absolutely! I went no contact with my narcissists. I did try to talk to them many times, but they always did that. It was time to give up. What a relief!
This is sooo true...its because if they laugh or acknowledge positivity, it would require THEM to GIVE, something they cannot possibly do due to the fact their souls have an energy deficit.
And also tell them about your goals and they won't even help or listen they get up walk away or just say" ok so do it then" like so I don't care but this is what my goal agenda is...like wth
She is Sooooo accurate it’s scary!!! I initial started watching videos to try to spot the traits in others. Only to find so many traits in myself !😳 All this time I was the Narc🤷🏾♂️
It's taken me over 27 years to figure out what a psycho that I've been with and two children. Thank God for you tube and all of the very brilliant and decent people who are in the world
@jiriah dinn you’re better off to sell your part of the business and get out and go NC ASAP. As long as ur in business with him ur still connected to him
OMG am in the same boat. Eventually he gets a divorce without my knowledge and hands me the certificate . I cried all the time. Oh to the extent he convinced me I was abusive because I am shouting and I started going to therapy
OMG, this was my exact 16 years of marriage with my ex-wife. ALL OF YOUR 7 POINTS are spot on but the point about getting you riled up then they get calm is chilling!!
Once is out in clear sight, once we talk about it, it makes sense, you feel validated. Your brain shifts to a much clearer state. Instead of spinning, there are directions. Direction to the right way and direction to the wrong way. Right way: away from it.
I just came across your video. You are soooo right! We would have heated talk and my the end my head was spinning! And tha slow kindergarten voice makes me want to scream! I've been in therapy for over 7 years and I no longer take it. He's blaming my therapist for brainwashing me. How funny is that?? 😄 Thank you!
My mom does the same thing she refuses to look at things from a parent's perspective and her favorite thing to say is "that's what y'all do " like aren't you older than us and your lying
Michele, This is totally spot-on! What a great way to summarize the emotional manipulation we all go through at narcissist hands!! When I hear you explain the six emotional manipulation tactics I start laughing and realizing how childish they are😂 But it's also very serious because people who don't have the same agenda are not expecting these things Very much looking forward to the next video in the series Thank you for this really good piece of work. It is so helpful
I wish I had found your videos a year ago. My brother fits this and has had me in tears many times. I’m 70.My sister had a small heart attack after one encounter. My mother was dying with severe dementia, he moved into the house, took over and we were not allowed to voice any opinion about her care. I sadly did not see my mother in the last days because I could not deal with the trauma of my brother.Now I see he is a classic narcissist. I’m learning a lot. Thank you, maybe I will be able to visit my 95 yo father now.
Yep spot on all they want to do is confuse and crush you . Get out stay out never let them back in again . If you do go back to them it will feel like a stuck record and again they will say it's your fault . Been there had the tee shirt etc . Be strong and love yourself .its there problem not yours
Geez! I consider myself a smart, educated and fair Woman. But, I fell for this hook, line and sinker!!! I can't believe it. What you spoke about in this video is exactly everything I go through on a daily basis. I began to think it was all my fault and that maybe I wasn't trying hard enough. Or rather, I was being too hard on him. I feel like crying right now. You how I was feeling like I just wanted to disappear and go to some deserted island where there are no people and just live out the rest of my days alone. I used to be so happy, fulfilled and full of energy. This has really broken me. I know I have it in me to rise again. I have so much Love to give. I just want it reciprocated. The unconditional kind of Love. Where both parties want to build each other up to be extremely happy and successful. The kind of Love, where we're both so connected and would not hesitate to fall beside each other in the good fight... That kind of Love. Thank you!
You are not alone. We'll get through it and we will find that kind of love. Keep your chin up sis. I married a narc. Luckily I lived to tell it. The best for my daughter and I was getting as far away from him as we could. We'll be fine. Fingers crossed.
I think it was an unrequited love. It is so draining. A love that is not reciprocated. What caught my attention in your post was because I was in that shoe some months ago. It made me question myself million times. However, all I could think of was similar to what you have put out here, to travel very far, to an island where you ll just be alone with you & yourself. I crave for this and it ll happen someday.
@RighttheWrong: Everything you said is exactly how I feel. It is so easy to become "hard hearted" and anticipate that this evil lies within every woman. Thank you for the reassurance that there are women like my mother and grandmother still alive in the world today. Thank you, and good luck & God bless with all your endeavors.
I thank you from California. I got a covert narc and a fragile narc to apologize. One indirectly and the other one directly. This talk breaking their conversations down helped me so much. I saw her coming a mile away. Thank you. No way have done it without his help. My whole family are codependents. We were all at the mercy of this fragile narc. Took my life back. Don't feel depressed anymore. My brother is a good man and he married a fragile Narc. saw him exhausted all the time. I started to worry. But I have been feeding him fuel through powerful text messages. I know she did not see it coming. This is so powerful. Thank you. You are doing Gods work. A million times thank you.
They will also comment on how beautiful other women are and never compliment you, but I always said “yes, she is very pretty” I never let him see me react! I was just discarded, I think he knew I was not going to fall for anymore games. THank the lord above!!
Yes same here . He had a fetish failing at women as I'm holding his hand walking through the mall & wouldn't stop .k. looking but not failing yo & down . So I let go of his hand & he says says what what did I do. What woman . Lol. I hear ya . All the beat 2 u .
"The narcissist doesn't want to see the truth." This is in my mind the essence. Once we understand this we can easily eschew futile attempts of trying to convince the narcissist of anything. It all comes down to letting go.
The X would sit across the room, either alone or with a co-opted therapist, and I would end up crying uncontrollably while she sat there looking at me like a cold dead fish. I didn’t want her to “rescue me.” I wanted her to have feelings like me so we could communicate. She calmed down ONLY when I was upset. I finally realized she did NOT have feelings I had. No.
Danny Reed stay strong, Danny. The good side of this is being able to recognize this in others, or more importantly recognizing the lack of narcissism in good people that are actually worth spending time with. ♥️
Wow,when I started watching your videos a few years ago yours eyes were full of sadness and pain.But now,they are shining and beautiful!You've healed,thank God!
Just had the blameshifting today with my twin sister. I wasn’t aware of it before today. She is an ideal narcissist!!! 😢 so traumatised by the choices she has made in her life I pray for the universe to help heal her 🤞
Super video and most of what you have mentioned i have experienced. The whole time I was looking inward thinking I was all of the problem from start to finish. It is so draining for anyone of an emphatic nature. I also feel there would be more empathy in the world only for these narcs. I personally do not want to get close to anyone ever again. Arms length is close enough for me now.
I'm just getting light on the worst ride of my life 27yrs. Everything she says, fits perfectly!,..He's EXPOSED NOW!, AWESOME....I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN DRAG UP & DOWN, SIDEWAYS!, spawn around, ect., Wow!
Your videos have helped me SOO much. My ex husband always accused me of cheating on him, when he cheated on me our whole marriage. And it took me 5 years to leave him & he still won’t leave me alone YEARS later. Now I’m dealing w another one. Who keeps telling me I’m doing what they do. Call me names, then say I called them names. But can’t tell me what I said. Constantly putting me down, making me feel like I’m unworthy. I have many failed relationships & now it’s bc I’m crazy & no one wanted me. Ppl love this person. He’s charming & charismatic. Not a typical narcissist.
Stop having reactions! I posted a more detailed experience on here before I saw your comment. It's against our natural instinct to not react but that is the only thing that works. Don't cry and ignore them. The healthiest thing to do if possible is kick them out of your life ASAP...it will give you peace and save you inevitable heartache and trauma. Don't argue back, don't get angry, don't cry, don't show any emotion at all! It took me 4 months of acting like this before he actually left because "I was no longer submissive to him" .
@@hannahscott6604 Standing up for yourself is the best thing! They can't stand it and will leave. And don't give up, I waited over 2 years to date someone and he was a Narc also but I saw it early on and got rid of him. I've given up too much of my life already! I finally did meet a Good man so there's hope!
You are Godsent. Thank You for saving my sanity. You are so accurate. Me and my girl were going at it like we always do and I picked up my phone and started playing this video ignoring her and as you were explaining how they do she was, not kidding, acting exactly like you were explaining on cue. And the more you talked the madder and louder she got. Thank you so much for walking me through this insanity.
I am baffled at how you EXACTLY describe all that frustrated me so much that I had to run away. Of course then followed by regrets and therapy sessions to work on myself (which did help, btw). Now, after two years she shows up again in a by the way manner, obviously ignoring any of the past. Then, two conversations in... that puzzled, frustrated and hopeless feeling is back. I feel so enlightened by videos like yours.. Thanks.
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1. Invalidation
2. Blameshifting
3. Projection
4. Word Salad
5. Gaslighting
6. Hurt & Rescue
7. Use Your Emotional State Against You
I have experienced every single one of these with my ex... so painful... exhausting...
Taylor Lynn Hansen Yes, exhausting and life draining.
🤦🏽♀️Exactly but I agree with the shit and continue being blessed right in front of them😂
Yup, same here. But I always knew that I wasn't d problem. Even though we clashed, cus we're just like each other in many ways. I am about 2 get rid of his narcissistic ass. About 2 go NO CONTACT! B)
@Danielle Shurley Same here n then my bf. But I'm getting rid of both at d same time!!! B)
@@tomprice3258 sounds like the ultimate narc!😣👿
one of these people nearly destroyed me, then i met the most wonderful woman and life is sweet :)
that is beautiful 👍👍👍
That's good David! ❤
Lovely 👩❤️💋👩
Stay blessed Gods love , blessings n protection is powerful than these devils
David Baxter - so happy for you. I am in the middle still, trying to leave. I am too afraid to trust another man.
Narcissists always put you on trial. You find yourself on the defensive constantly.
Exactly...they always interrogate...that is why I went NO CONTACT!!! I feel great now...my health has been restored and my sanity!
She always demanded to look at my phone, never allowing me to do the same to her. I was constantly scrutinized but could never do the same to her.
Yes, I feel like he is an attorney, and remembering all the details of what i say, so if I answer wrong he is going to use it against me later on.
all the time and it's never their fault for anything, they will never ever say "I'm sorry" unless it's to manipulate for their gain
Deborah S. Nelson OK
We need some kind of real public service education about this. Our country is run by these people.
Sarah Hopkins wow now I had to respond to that. This world would be so much better if we could just stop the planet and let them or me off.
Absolutely. Everyone needs to take a psychology course AND spend multiple days on this topic. It touches everyone’s lives now if it didn’t already
Yes, looking back I now realise a lot of people I worked with were either Psycopaths or Narcs. It explains a lot of strange behaviour.
The country is over run with these people. The best ones make it to the top in all political arenas not just in our country but all countries.
Sarah Hopkins a public service announcement from those that commit the atrocities, I have only heard a narcissists admitting to wrong doing just long enough to gain control of a crowd ,to turn the tables and stay under the radar. I’m afraid that this has become a cancer and it runs through all the people of our country no matter the title etc etc etc. It seems to becoming the norm.
They live to provoke you into uncivilized responses
Roxy lee yes and they usually trys to make you snap in public to make you look like the monster.
.... then play the civilised victim!!
@Genevieve do not underestimate their vindictiveness, best stay far away!
Roxy lee
So very true
Yes mine loved that game.
Wow, the more emotionally upset you are the calmer they get...... Spot 🔛
It's like they are slowly out to kill you
My wife would push my buttons and get me to lose my cool only to try to film it and make her self look like the victim. I let my anger get the best of me by buying into her BS. Maybe I’m slightly narc myself. But I don’t think 🤔 so. I’m so confused now. But I have empathy and
b Dub that's what happens, it makes you question if you're the narc ... stick to your truth! every action has a reaction ... so, it's normal to give them backlash ... until you realize the whole situation is toxic & brings out the worst in YOU ...
I think it’s important to know that most narcissists do actually feel empathy. Psychopaths are the ones without empathy. Empathy is feeling others’ emotions in your body, as a reflex. Most narcissists feel empathy and it is a bummer to them-they are annoyed that they have to feel others’ pain, so they do things like invalidate the other person’s pain. Compassion is empathy plus tenderness/care/love/desire-to-help. Narcissists lack compassion (not always, but for people they see as a threat to their self-esteem). Compassion is the key. And luckily it’s a skill anyone capable of empathy can build through loving-kindness meditation and compassion meditation.
Hearing that one literally made me feel sick. I always get told that I am the issue because I eventually become emotional, hurt, flustered and panicky. It always starts with him sounding so cruel and vicious, and it's like it's cathartic to him when I start crying. My pain soothes him. He has broken me down to the point where I don't believe that anyone else will want me, and to be honest I've always attracted these sorts of people
There is No magic solution, there's Nothing to Say or Do. Just walk away, life is to Short. Signed Someone who tried everything to keep the Peace.
eyespy u amen I’m there too!
gallop away
Thanks for the comments I'm simply trying to do that now
Sometimes it's harder than that. In my case, it's my mum. Outside she puts on an act of the "hurt mum who has bad children and a lot of trauma". At home her children are the blame for everything- her stress, heart problems, etc...
I've only just realised this year that she's a narcissist and she's made it so that she has complete control over my siblings; financially, emotionally. They can't just get up and leave because they're underage and there's no where for them to go.
It sucks.
@@ginnieeleven2611 I grew up with Narcissist sisters watched them Suck the life out of Our Mom. Our Dad was very Ill,.but their Craziness took precedent over anyone or thing. At 12 I became the invisible child. At 15 I dropped out of school got a job for money/ Independence, experience/training and at 19 had my own business. You'll be amazed at what you/ siblings can do to escape and survive. I would help your sibling establish a life minus your Mom.
I Watched Our Mom til the end of her life trying to support and guide her Mentally lll daughters. On her Death bed in Hospice they Gas lighted Mom and made fun of her. She couldn't speak but you could see the shook and Hurt in Mom's eyes. These 3 Crazies still try to get me back in their insane orbit after all these decades. From a distance I seen their Marriages, Careers and lives fall apart. Now some of their Kids,.are just as manipulative and Hero/Vitcim personalities. Me I am just avg., happy what I got and Thankful to the Lord that I had Good parents who raised me right. Sometimes I wish it was different,.but experience and maturity tells me it can never be.
They also accuse you of not being able to see the truth, "look at yourself, look what you're doing"
True
Or that your lying to yourself
Or " i know you better than anyone so just stop".
Turn it back on him! Tell him to look at himself and look at what you are doing! You are to blame for your woes and stop blaming me or others.
still trying to figure out who's the narcissism, me or my ex o.O I do have generated anxiety disorder and clinical depression and asthma and Myasthenia Gravis...Both my parents are narcissists..your health will let u know.
OMG 😂😂😂 this is unreal. I’ve heard every single one of these tactics pulled on me for YEARS. literally never ever knew they were a narcissist until now. Amazing.
DejaDrewit single?
So sorry you had to go through that.
They are everywhere even in our own families!
Deja - me too. So sad to learn they were never, ever true or honest. Like a house of smoke & mirrors. Such a waste of time.
Me too.
Once I realized they never cared about my feelings, I stopped caring about theirs. Conversations/debates were easy after that, because I was no longer questioning my sanity and trying to coddle them. It’s interesting being told something that you absolutely aren’t or even how you think and feel. When I laugh and say obviously you don’t know me as well as you think you do. Then the name calling starts & they start loosing control! They turn into the 12 yr old that they still are.
Amen.
Not even 12, more like 2. Seriously, Narcessist behaviors are due to arrested development caused by abuse/instability during early childhood. They never got their emotional needs met from a very early stage, so they never learned how to care about anyone else's emotional needs but their own.
It's really sad. But still, don't let them use the fact of their victimhood to victimize you.
12 year old with histrionics. Spot on !
Sounds like you develop an excellent strategy to deal with their manipulation BS
It is right narcs create lot of confusion. My mother created lot of confusion while interacting.she disturbed my whole life
You're always crazy when confronting a narcissist on ANYTHING!!
The Noble Goddess absolutely!
I grew up with a narcissistic mother. She would hit me and all of my siblings and just deny deny deny that she had ever touched us until she was red in the face. Even when we were bloody and bruised.
Yeah
Ya after 2 hours of by them yelling a and spitting insult after insult finally you raise your voice and immediately you responsible and it’s your fault.
Oh so true! When he starts yelling, telling me i have to be quiet and that I should listen (whilst I'm being quiet already) and I'll ask him to please not yell, he'll say "why are you raising your voice? Stop raising your voice. Why do you always have to raise your voice? I can't even calmy say something to you and you just have to yell at me" and so on..
Once my narc got upset and started yelling again. I kept calm though which again was my mistake. Didn't realize beforehand the word "calm" could be used like an insult in a conversation.
Must admit, now that I know how she's thinking it's a lot easier for me to handle.
@Jennifer Knee
Very true... and their over the top emotions, yelling, threats, (pretended) lack of self- control, and other abusive tactics send your brain (the NORMAL, CARING person) into a panic!
I can relate. I just tell them I am not responsible for your mistakes or anger
@Holden Mcgroine What you're describing is called going "grey rock." It's useful to get you by in the heat of the moment sometimes, but it won't work every time. They will eventually get pissed that you aren't responding to them enough. Like another commentor in this thread said- his narc actually insulted him for remaining calm while she was yelling at him.
There is literally NOTHING anyone can do to please a narc. Not consistantly or in any healthy manner, anyway.
The only thing to do is to GET OUT. Go no contact. And stay gone.
I thought I was alone. I'm not. Wow.... thank you for these videos. You think it's you. But it's not.
No, you are not alone. Narcs all read the same playbook. They may look different on the outside use different words or languages, but they are the same on the inside, using the same tactics.
TIA Mcneely I thought I was crazy! I'm so happy for the help that these videos give us.
Oh no sweetie, I thought that too. We are not alone. Channels like Michelle's really do empower us and make us feel a part of something good all of a sudden
@@Feequilts that's my big problem because it didn't feel like my narcissist ever read any playbook and also don't use tactics to put others down. it's like don't try to change me and don't critisize my behavior, i did so much for this family, please love me how i am and don't blame me all the time or fuck off because i will not change for you.... and i'm like your personal behavior is not good enough for any positive environment, you make me sick, i can't have you in my life anymore .... and now i feel like the big problem and narcissist because i have so much anger for this person and the rest of the family because they are protecting him, i lost so much because of all that and i can't let go. i hate myself even more because i had to knew it better, i was a healthy person and i can't stop blaming a sick mentally disabled person (narcissist) for hurting me again
Snub Dawg I feel for you. My narc is only that way with me too. Don’t hate yourself, you’ve been through hell as we all have. I never used to let anything go, everything was a very personal attack on me, even though I knew what I was being told about me wasn’t true. I was nobody to me, just a worthless soul being made to feel sad or told I’m useless. I can’t stress enough how much NET therapy helped me. It’s all about dealing with your earliest traumas and processing them out of the body. These traumas are always triggered by what the narc does to you today.
I can’t believe how much I’ve changed and let it all go. I now have my own valid thoughts and a soul. My narc has had a secret life I didn’t know about and he gave me a lot of grief to protect it. I don’t care about that now and am able to focus on me.
I was told he wasn’t going to change for me either and he was proud of his drinking problem. The moment I told the guy delivering the dozen cartons of booze to the house that none of it was for me, I saw the narc’s Achilles heel. He was ashamed of it. He was a little smaller to me that day. They will do anything to stop you exposing their lies and deeds to others.
It came as a shock to me that I knew I had to leave. I couldn’t say it for months and I lost my voice for 6 months because of it. You deserve more than the narc and his family. You deserve to be the person you were born to be. Once you start going through the process of healing, there’ll be no stopping you and you’ll be happy to leave that part of your life behind and be excited about the new chapter.
I need to watch this every day..until I get the courage and ability to leave. This is my reality check. “The narcissist doesn’t care” that was very eye opening. I waste so much time and energy trying to defend myself in a discussion that started over something completely unrelated...usually about my feelings or being lied to😔😢😢
Basically same. Just Pray. God gave me the courage to leave a guy that was supposedly ready for marriage. Always tried to manipulate me into thinking that other females that he used to mess with were okay with being around😂👌🏼 No thank you sir. Get out.
I hope you’re out and safe now. ❤️
@Ken Richard I have been married to this man for 20 years. We have 5 special needs children and no other family. I did not realize what he was or that it wasn't something he would change or eventually get better until 3 years ago in marriage counseling (that he was order to attend by his military job due to other circumstances). I had been operating under the illusion that what was going on was that he had autism like my children and that everything was my fault..and no matter what I did, it was wrong, and somehow I was not loving him correctly. But like my children I would not give up loving him ot trying to help just because he had autism. I did not realize this was covert narcissism or what that meant or why my efforts were never going to go anywhere. After weeks of therapy and my husband dancing around the topics and shushing md and making the counselor believe I was the devil(or so I thought he had him fooled). The counselor walks in and hands me a newspaper article titled "Is this autism or narcissism? The difference is intent" After we both read the article my husband was quiet. The next day he texts me randomly "yup...That is me" I call him because I had no idea what he meant, and asked about the text. He then tells me that he is a narcissist knows it..is ok with it but will never admit it to anyone else and will deny the conversation if I bring it up. He admits he enjoys saying things to hurt others and is not sorry "everyone else is not as smart as he is and cant figure it out". He tells me he sees me as worthless because anyone stupid enough to love him and believe him, must not be smart or worth much. I tried to leave this man once and he almost successfully tried to kill himself. I am in survival mode almost every day. The situation I am in is very very complicated and I'm just thankful for these videos so I can do a reality check with myself and not keep falling back into believing I'm worthless and garbage and always wrong or at fault(although people I used to know say I'm a shadow of who I used to be). We pretty much live separate lives in the same home. I put all I have into raising my children and he does anything he wants..with whom ever he wants. I stopped asking questions or asking for change or respecting years ago. It wont change. So I get by and survive and have a way to care for my kids and get the medical and therapies we all need. He is nice to all of us as long as I just let him always have his way and never every question it. So I do. No I'm not happy, but my kids are, and they are well cared and oblivious to all of this (they love their dad with all their hearts..because I make sure they only see the good) and I hide my feelings well. I always will. 👍
@@breezeh1127 Wow! I was wondering not too long ago if it might be in any way linked to autism or not. I'd like to look that article up. I only have one child myself not with him luckily.. we've been in a relationship for almost 10 years now it feels more like roommates. Before I learned about narcissim he was messing with my head so much I couldn't function I got really depressed constantly crying & just wanted to stay asleep. I'd say I spent about 6 months in the bed then I noticed how badly that was affecting my health & knew I had to make myself keep going for my daughter then I found these videos. I'm lucky my dad lives next door and could help with her then I couldn't even focus on her homework it was way different from how I normally am. I'm usually a positive happy person. I'm finally feeling better just not yet out of this mess yet. I watch these videos daily still also
@@MegDD3912 I truly feel for you. Thus sounds so very very similar 😔 I'm sorry you have had to endure a life like this too. The article was in a psychology news paper of some sort. I will see if I can find anything online.
My wife of 23 years has done this to me so many times. I'm glad that I have found videos such as these because I finally realize that I don't have to spend time trying to figure out why she acts this way! Now I know! Thank you!
The 292 thumbs down are from narcissists who got butt hurt by this video 😂😂😂😂
The Number is up to 403 and now. I Guess all the trump Followers heard about this video.
Bob H. Most definitely yes
Julia Miller sad that you don’t understand the difference between mental illnesses but instead watch videos like this and now you think your ah doctor I feel sorry for you and the journey you have ahead of you
@Ronnie Moron - The Clinton Foundation, you mean that foundation the Republicans have investigated to death over the last 30 years and haven't one piece of evidence to indict them on? I bet your one that believes area 51 really is full of alien artifacts, or there was a child porn ring in the basement of pizzeria and they were sending all the children to mars to serve in brothels.
I would check those mushrooms if I were you.
@Ronnie Moron - Seriously, it's quite a narc trait to presume to know how a democratic majority think.
And yet you spout tired, worn out Conspiracy Theories and claim to know all the Truth that no one else does. Spoken like a true Narcissist QAnon fan. Let me guess, no one really understands all your genius level comments? Ya, well maybe there is a reason for that, and no it's not because your a stable genius. End of Conversation, I have learned over the years don't bother discussing things with CT level Narcissists, they can never see Conspiracy they don't love.
Accused of starting an argument just because I want them to understand why I feel this way!! So over narcissists!
YES! It's because they don't care how you feel or why! They are certainly not going to take any blame!
I confronted my ex about constantly ghosting me and she said I was taking it too seriously. And she EXPECTED me to be friends with her after we broke up. If that doesn’t scream narcissist then I don’t know what does
YES !!!!!! accused of starting arguments, or “testing” them .
@@jojobrown2504 Right! When you get upset they act like it's a personal attack on them. They're the badly-done by, forgiving, long-suffering support system; somehow you've become the unstable manipulator.
Ex gf used to do this a lot.
When you been there so many times your senses awaken, game over.
Love and peace to all the empaths,
💜
When you start thinking you need to record a conversation you know you are dealing with gaslighting. My x constantly did this I started to think I was crazy ,do your research to find the clues don't even bring it up cause it will be your fault once you have found you are dealing with a narcissist pack your stuff and run
i thought about recording a convo with him they ,make u feel like ur crazy
@@jessidawkins5245 its gas lighting trying to make u second guess your own reality my x constantly did this...
Their own world is different to reality, I stopped second guessing myself along time ago...
Leave is the best option because there is no cure for them.
If you are isolated and rely on only the narcs feedback to color your world. It can literally drive you crazy. You can no longer trust your reality. You can become so confused, your brain cannot discern sensory input properly. You can become a schizophrenic. I have seen it happen. I am not kidding
I’ve over explained myself so many times I don’t think I can ever do it again 😫
We are not the only ones it happens to, I used to think that. Her favorite one after totally frustrating me was " oh and look who's angry again." If you try to make someone into the monster you want them to be, you turn onto the monster yourself.
I never had so much self doubt when I was married to my wife. It even started with her when we were dating.
And then they go, "this again? How many times do I have to hear the same thing? " ugh. Don't even try anymore.
Then don't.
AMEN!~
Have you ever witnessed a narcissist blame their behavior on something that happened 2-3years ago!?
jake anders heck yes its always turned to what i did in the past its bs
Yes she did
Hell yes! It always comes down to blaming it on something that happened over 3-4-5 years ago or even way in the past. Or you say something logical about what they’ve done or how they made you feel in recent time, and they spin it around to the time “you made them feel the same way”, even if it’s past history by a long shot.
My mother still blames me for things "I caused" when I was a child.
@@alabama.worley my 5th grade daughter asked her mother why she [her mother] is fat, her mother told her that it was her fault.
Ive dealt with this my whole life from multiple family members. Im beyond frustrated and its time to take out the trash asap.
GET RID OF IT!!!
I just found my mother before she died 20 years ago and I've done the same with my family I keep them Beyond arm's length so I'm all alone, but I'm happy
A ton of times I would look around like is this real did she really say that? Other times it was word salad that made my head spin like "wtf is she talking about". Once she was done with what she wanted to say, it was like talking to a brick wall. It's so frustrating! The thing to remember is they are not in the same reality as you. Therefore you can't reason with them.
With the help of channels like this one I now have peace in my home and am free to live my life to the fullest and thrive on! Thank you Michelle!
Did we date the same woman!? Lol
James the Brovivor
The Bible describes the person who uses "word salad", and calls them a fool.
Ecclesiastes 10:13-14 "…13 the beginning of his talking is folly and the end of it is wicked madness. 14 Yet the fool multiplies words. No man knows what will happen, and who can tell him what will come after him?"
You'll find that toxic people seem to get there qualities from the same playbook :) from what i've noticed.
Nice! Yeah she loved to quote the bible, as long as it was to her advantage. Interesting how they think and how that steers there actions.
Where are they taking all of the consequences followed by doing all these narcsistic things
Once we see who the narcissists are there true personality comes out and they become angry
True.
You can't let them know that you know.
They'll get worse.
Oh my God... my ex is now agry wtih me after I told him I recognize some things in his behaviour (I didn't mention narcissism). But he changed and from a sweet guy he became angry and cold, with spiteful remarks... he even told me today that my new perfum stinks while everyone else acknowledged how nice it smells.
I work with him unfortunately and I am scared now.
Absolutely
narcissists like to change conversions and go off subject a lot to avoid the problems at hand. they only care about their own thoughts and likes always putting the blame on you
As a seasoned veteran I can only say everything here is spot on times a thousand. Once you realize a cluster b knows how to manipulate every normal human decency tendency , you will never look at your abuser the same. And thats a good thing for you.
Brad McEwen
"Manipulates" ...the operative term...
Thank you Brad
Truth.
Thankyou Brad, that helps me... It's my adult daughter who does this to me, Now I Know it's not me, I see her differently, so will cope better.
The conversation with her just goes around in circles till I get exhausted.
same here, but with a him.. :(
I tried having a real conversation with my narcissist neighbor, and I need a drink and a psychiatrist afterwards. That conversation left me in the Twilight Zone.
Same here they lie so much they believe their own lies .
Recently during a fight my mother says to me "If you were seeing things clearly..." and I was thinking "You are freaking gaslighting me right now."
Shortly afterwards I ended the conversation. Later she came to me and tried to hug me and "make up" but I wasn't ready so I stopped her, and she started crying and said "I will take all the rejection you dish out and I will STILL love you!" I said I wasn't rejecting her, I needed a real resolution to the argument before I was ready to hug it out. She really didn't like that. Ever since she's been trying to be super nice and help me out, etc. Now I know that's probably some hurt and rescue BS.
Ugh.
I am so grateful for this channel! It's terrible that there are so many people having to deal with narcissistic people, but it is so nice to know that I am not alone!
My jaw felt like it was literally frozen after it dropped from hearing everything that's happening to me!
Figured out I’m NOT the freakin Nutcase, family is!!
Hit the nail on. The head. My ex was a master manipulator.
Deceptive cunning and strategy,I fooled you all✔
Had to move out of my nutty familys house.
Diddo
Yeah, narcissistic family is the worst, I’m sorry
My mother uses all these tactics then says I'm too sensitive. After bold face lying and manipulation,
denying any wrong doing and playing the victim. I've always said shes 2 faced and self righteous, now I
know it's called narcissism. Thank you. Years of therapy, and you cleared her up to me the 1st video.
Sounds like my mom I swear
I get yelling, screaming and gas lighting - ''You're crazy and belong in a psychiatric hospital''. I've heard this at least twice.
I’ve heard this too...
This sums up a two hour meeting that I had with my wife, who I separated with a year before. Thought I could work things through with her but she played it exactly like you said. At the end of the conversation she walked away entirely composed, having stated that I was "a broken man", while I was left distraught. What she failed to grasp was that at the end of the conversation I had figured out what she was doing and what she was - my feeling distraught was in response to the recognition that I'd devoted 36 years to a narcissist. I had wasted my life with a selfish individual who had no real feelings for me. It took weeks before I regained my equilibrium. I know now that it is pointless to engage with a narcissist.
During a conversation with my ex I commented that something he had said was “Very droll” he took offence and asked why I would call him boring, I pointed out that ‘Droll’ means witty or quick witted. He argued, I got the O.E.D. from my study and proved him wrong. He then said the O.E.D. was 10 years old and the meaning had changed. I pulled up the on-line version and showed he was mistaken. He then got snippy and accused me of having a need to always be right and win every discussion (which I so don’t) and stomped off to his parents house.
They really are so childish and self-deluded it’s almost funny.
And always requiring someone else besides you to tell them anything!!!! Ok so you could be the world's expert on anything and he would invalidate your opinion and need another one...and if that one agrees with you he will need another one and so on and so on and so on....for eternity. It is not about what is true or correct. That is so not the end game...ever.
@@hannahjohnson808 Ignoring you is the only break you are gonna get. Enjoy the vacation from invalidation...although this is a form of invalidation. My narc does this when he does not know what to do.If it bothers you, he will continue. I would consider it a bonus: at least he isn't talking. :)
Charlie Bubbles sounds a lot like how my dad would behave with my mom
Funny! Mine always stomped off to his Mother’s home. 😂😂😂
It is funny, start being mildly amused. They do not care, cut off from them.
My narcissist will first completely tear me down then when it’s my turn to talk they will say be quiet or shut up we are not going to talk about this
With narcissists you do not get a turn!
I’ve sat with him for at least two hours, multiple times before and not said hardly anything. If I tried to speak at ALL, I was “interrupting.”
That’s when you get out and smile with your new person , as you will feel like a new person then. It will take time
but it is not healthy. Please don’t just brush this comment off.
"It looks like you're speaking a different language" exactly! They can even twist the meaning of commonly used words to make you feel like you are getting them "wrong"
It is very frustrating how they NEVER acknowledge anything you’re saying or feeling.
yeah or they say "so I see someone has been manipulating u". when u have ur own opinions but they blame a person for it instead of validating what u say.
never
I agreed
@@enednas801 yes! My narc ex would say "what kind of TH-cam video's have you been watching this time" and the day I broke up with him "well now your parents got what they wanted, that you broke up with me" like I can't have my own opinions or can't decide for myself... It really pissed me off
Yep, this sums up my 8 years with a narcissist.
Oh My God. Your videos are insanely scary for me to come to terms with.
It's very accurate, hey
@Zarathustra MG42 what is hard about it?
N rewrite history
No concentration in religious or any work v do due to n behaviour
OMG...Me as well
Watch for when they flip to a dominant vocal tone. This is a tactic I’ve experienced also.
Iconoclasticnation yes, they will get loud and puff up their body language and tone just to get you to regress and shrink. It's a tactic.
Yeah I've had this before too
Yes, and they start to move around Super Fast, and use Sharp movements, it's Scary to watch, even when it's a short person doing it.
I get the "dude why are you getting mad and loud, ive been talking calm without cussing and getting loud"
Yes my stepdaughter will yell in the conversation and say we started the whole thing by yelling at her. We try to say no we didn't, we were calmly asking you about it (something she did disrespectful) and she would continue to say we yelled and twist what went on completely around. She has our 1 1/2 yr old grand baby and one on the way by a married man and we have had to cut her off. It sucks because my children really love their siblings and we miss our grand baby but can't handle this narcissism. She is jealous of everything that goes on with our younger children and expresses it but when questioned she says we did this or that to cause it to go wrong, it's awful. She hates anyone to speak into her life and keeps people under her .. if she can't she does the gaslighting to wear them down to get what she wants. She has always had people help her but ' never' asks for help, she manipulates it so she can say she's never asked for help and she 'doesn't need anyone'.. she uses men horribly and I told her baby daddy she was using him.. and boy that went over well.. now she has real ammunition against me. 'I ruined her daughters life'. Well, anyway, it's very tough but we said enough is enough.
This is so true about the gaslighting part. He would change his words each time and deny promises that he made, even though I had CLEAR EVIDENCE of what he said previously.
That’s why I always texted the ex-wife, leaves a “paper trail” of evidence.
My dad does that all the time too from a very young age. And in the few instances where I just happened to have physical proof he was in the wrong, then he would just rage and yell at me about hurtful and completely unrelated things, like how ugly and useless I am to him. And then tell me to stfu, and every once in awhile I was smacked across the face for it. If I bring up these instances now, both my parents will deny it ever happened and my brother was too young to remember and my dad acts super nice when outside people are around so no one would believe me.
The worst part is, I KNOW my mother remembers because a few times after I tried to talk with them about it, she denied it with my dad, but afterwards pulled me aside and quietly told me I'll "just have to out up with it, because my father isn't from this country and it's just cultural differences." "He's just hard on you because your the oldest and a girl" is what she would tell me sometimes, but when other people were around would flat out deny anything ever happened.
Tell me about it. But I had those texts proving she intended to pay me back the money she owed. Can you guess what she did? Started talking about completely unrelated bullshit.
I used to think she suffered from 'MSU' = making sh*t up. Now that I've learned she is just a narcissist and it was all a strategy, and...... I'm not really crazy. Amen!
Nine Foot Couch LOL 😂😂
Just listening to this awsome explanation reminded me of how draining physically and mentally I used to be after each interaction. 7 months after breaking free 🙂 once you have this knowledge you won’t forget and it has helped me everyday.
8:13 and drained. They will suck the energy right outta ya body!
Fr I live with them and I always wonder why u always feel so tired in unmotivated in the house and its cuz of them
And then some
Word salad...perfect!!!!!! Recently had a convo and I stepped back in my mind amd maintained focus. I spoke calmly and redirected back to this person's incapacity to take responsibility for their actions. This sent them.immediately into a narc rage and they hung up on me after cursing uncontrollably. Finally, I'm getting the hang of this.
T. Lewis This exact thing happened to me today
I can relate to all of these and its soul destroying. So glad iv found these videos. I'm not alone! Knowledge is power 💪💪
DON'T LET THESE CRYING, CRAZY, MANIPULATIVE DEVILS BACK IN👎👎
GET RID OF THEM 4 GOOD🤗
Finally some REASON. I agree 100%. Get rid of difficult.
@@BrunoBerryhoneybuns1370 💯💯💯💯💯🤗
A hundred years ago they had those 'happy houses' out in the country for these hateful people. Maybe they realized some things just dont change.
So what do you do when the devil is inside of you yourself?
@Travis O'Hara try repenting of your sins and trusting alone in Jesus Christ that God might save you from the Wrath that is to come! This always works!
Wow. When you got to number seven, it gave me flash backs of situations like that where I've been. Where I had been driven insane by their use of the tactics, and they were the ones acting calm. And if looking from the outside in that moment, it would appear as if I was the one who was the problem. Great job Michele, it's evident you know what you are talking about by the way it brought me right back to those moments. Seeing you explain it out, brings me a sense of closure to those tormenting times. Thanks
I just say hold that thought and walk away.
*my new favorite strategy
@@itswickedsweet4409 make an alternate account called: Karma Schmitt lol
@@MikinessAnalog perfect!
This was spot on as I experienced narcissistic rage and never saw it coming. Thank you.
My ex-narc did this to me so often, I thought I was losing my mind. Many time he would use all of these techniques to provoke me and get me into an emotional state. I found out later that he video and audio recorded me in those states, while he appeared calm and in control and played them for people to make it look like I was the unstable one and he was a poor victim.
I’m sorry. I almost feel like that’s how my ex could be. They need help , not so much us. Just remember that.
Some of these things I already knew how to do. I remained calm and firm in my ground against a narcissist and he ended up in tears. I used his tactics against him. IT TOTALLY ROCKED!
Man it’s crazy this video is so on point. My mom never wants to be seen as wrong. She haves to be right no matter what. A conversation about something that happened today will turn into something someone did years ago. She be drivin me crazy. She loves that shit so much.
Hi, wanted to introduce myself. I just came out of a very abusive relationship, and I ended it because he is exactly what all of your videos are.
I just wanted to tell you, thank you so much for your wisdom. It’s been a few months now that I’m not with him. And as time goes by I realize more and more how much of a terrible situation I was in. You are so smart, and you are so correct on all of this Information. You have made me feel that I’m normal all over again and that I did the right thing by ending the relationship!!
I eventually quit engaging in any conversation with the x narc. He would start 4 different sentences, talk for 20 minutes & say absolutely nothing. Forget the topic at hand. Butting in the middle of a conversation I was having with a friend with something completely unrelated & usually rude, just to pout & have a tantrum when I wouldn't immediately do what he wanted..I would just cringe at the thought of another grueling, nerve wrecking sentence. Even when a simple "yes" or "no" answer was enough, another 20 minutes of agonizing, senseless BS was coming out of his mouth. Word Salad..made me want to rip my hair out..
@@ML-qs3tf Yes he would. By the time the conversation was done the original topic had been long forgotten. I'd be so frazzled & guilt ridden..about absolutely nothing..he was always going to say something when I would talk..(like taking your last breath sound) constantly interrupting. Never on topic. The frustration was endless!
@@ML-qs3tf I honestly think they're related. LOL...yes my life is a wonderful one now..I sincerely hope yours is thriving too..xxx
Mary L yeah lots of questions
None of which seem to make sense
And they constantly don’t understand you even when you are CRAZY clear in what you’re saying. They say they don’t get it
Debbie, my EX-narc would always deny he said something, confusing and frustrating me to no end!! Thank God he discarded me --- greatest gift of my life.
He retracted all financial help, but there's PEACE in my poverty
Sounds like someone who belongs in a straight jacket I'd try the same thing on him just act completely nuts and have a good laugh
I have to disagree on a point here: The narcs I have encountered have definitely "validated" but it was totally empty and was totally a tactic they consciously used to "shut me up" and to try to pretend that they "cared", but when it came down to actions, then they would turn around and do the exact opposite action to cause the same hurt or "invalidate" again and again. -- So they can definirtly pretend to "validate" you, bu it's totally empty and is a total lie and done consciously .
FreedomLifeFriends couldn’t agree more
Good point .
We have to remember that narcissistic people have different tactics with different people . They know what will work with different people.
My ex- narc did the same thing, but not all the time .
I like to think that they are predictably unpredictable.
Either way , I hope you and everyone else watching this are healing and moving on .
Best of luck to you .
What you described can be part of the "hurt and rescue" cycle she mentioned. They learn how to appear validating when they hurt you, then use that fake validation to manipulate in some way. 💔
Spot on. The smarter, covert narcissists are masterful at the false validation tactic. It's hella confusing until you're completely out of the situation, but when you are, it gets really clear what was happening. At least for me.
Maybe they weren't a narc. 😉
They spin the conversation around in circles without addressing your point, feelings, etc. Invalidation. They keep going back to their point and keep the conversation in revolving door fashion. Ive seen it in a lot of people, not just with one person
mimi will yessssss
I think "the revolving door" is an excellent description of having a conversation with these weirdos!
Yes
Just put a wedge in that revolving door! Tell them that their manipulating game is up and use their lies on someone else. Yes, there seem to be a lot of them but some have learned that behavior from narcissist parents and the way to tell is if you offend a real narcissist off he will pout and leave.
Circular argument. They are waiting for you to restate your response different from the first time it gives them more ammunition for blame shifting.
Evil, cruel, cold people. All of your videos are spot on. I wished I had seen your videos years ago. Thank you for what you are doing to get people out of this mess.
OMG! THANK YOU! Some people are so well versed in being narcissistic, they TRULY had me believing sonething WAS wrong with ME and my lifestyle.THANK YOU FOR OPENING MY EYES!
She’s so on point with this! I have to remember this cuz he’s been doing this for years and still is! I’ve had enough and this video is helping me take myself back.
This was one of the clearest videos presented on this topic.
Omg I'm so happy to have found you people I gotta get away from her NOW
I'm so glad I did, and I am so happy.
I can't believe how accurate this is, I'm glad i finally managed to get out from a relationship with a narc.
I lost almost everything throughout all the time wasted on her but at least in the end I found myself again and gather whatever's left of my sanity and move forward with life
I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR VIDEO'S! THANK YOU! I AM FINALLY AWAY FROM MY LAST NARCISSIST AND FINALLY CAN SEE CLEARLY WHAT NARCISTIC ABUSE IS... AM NOW SHARING YOUR INFO WITH ONLINE FRIENDS I KNOW ARE GOING THIS THROUGH... YOU MAKE IT VERY INFORMATIVE ON A CLEAR AND SPONTANEOUS WAY... YOU STAY ON TOPIC WHILE YOU ALSO SHOW SOME EMOTIONS THAT MAKE ME BELIEVE YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH... I GET TEARS IN MY EYES EVERY TIME I REALIZE HOW MANY OTHER WOMEN GO THROUGH THIS AND FEEL SOO ALONE!!
You put a lot of time into your videos and share great advice.
Absolutely! I went no contact with my narcissists. I did try to talk to them many times, but they always did that. It was time to give up. What a relief!
Tell the narcissist a funny story and they will invariably refuse to laugh or even acknowledge the story!
This is sooo true...its because if they laugh or acknowledge positivity, it would require THEM to GIVE, something they cannot possibly do due to the fact their souls have an energy deficit.
Agreed. They very often use negativity as a weapon.
Queen Nor omg this!!!!!!!!
And also tell them about your goals and they won't even help or listen they get up walk away or just say" ok so do it then" like so I don't care but this is what my goal agenda is...like wth
@@ButterCookie1984 The only people who are funny in his eyes are either his bandmates or his fans, or anyone else who feeds his huge ego!
She is Sooooo accurate it’s scary!!! I initial started watching videos to try to spot the traits in others. Only to find so many traits in myself !😳 All this time I was the Narc🤷🏾♂️
It's taken me over 27 years to figure out what a psycho that I've been with and two children. Thank God for you tube and all of the very brilliant and decent people who are in the world
Yes my narcissist ex-wife tried most of these on me at one time or another. Great advice Michele thank you 🙂
Warren , Im in the proses of freeing myself from him . Its not easy because we run a business together. And its hell everday for me .
@@juriahdin8261 I hope it all gets better for you soon.
@jiriah dinn you’re better off to sell your part of the business and get out and go NC ASAP. As long as ur in business with him ur still connected to him
Warren C ugh I’m SO SORRY
@@hannahscott6604 I am mostly recovered from my narcissist abuse but thanks anyways.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I said "YES!" in this video.
You are so right
OMG am in the same boat. Eventually he gets a divorce without my knowledge and hands me the certificate . I cried all the time. Oh to the extent he convinced me I was abusive because I am shouting and I started going to therapy
I agree
Me Too!
Yeah but if your like me who has a child with my narcissist, i cant get away from him
OMG, this was my exact 16 years of marriage with my ex-wife. ALL OF YOUR 7 POINTS are spot on but the point about getting you riled up then they get calm is chilling!!
Once is out in clear sight, once we talk about it, it makes sense, you feel validated. Your brain shifts to a much clearer state. Instead of spinning, there are directions. Direction to the right way and direction to the wrong way. Right way: away from it.
I just came across your video. You are soooo right! We would have heated talk and my the end my head was spinning! And tha slow kindergarten voice makes me want to scream! I've been in therapy for over 7 years and I no longer take it. He's blaming my therapist for brainwashing me. How funny is that?? 😄 Thank you!
What my mother says is " yeah I know how that feels " but its always in a way to make it like " yeah you have done that to me"
My mom does the same thing she refuses to look at things from a parent's perspective and her favorite thing to say is "that's what y'all do " like aren't you older than us and your lying
Michele,
This is totally spot-on!
What a great way to summarize the emotional manipulation we all go through at narcissist hands!!
When I hear you explain the six emotional manipulation tactics I start laughing and realizing how childish they are😂
But it's also very serious because people who don't have the same agenda are not expecting these things
Very much looking forward to the next video in the series
Thank you for this really good piece of work.
It is so helpful
I finally got to have sufficient evidence to know I was in an abusive relationship with a narcissist.
Thannks. :)
The only thumbs down on this were the Narcissists. 😂🤣😂🤣
Means the narcissist watched this and now they are upgraded .. that's sick though. Just a thought for a second.
Narcissists are soulless piece of shits
Another gaslighting trick is "i was only joking".
Thanks your videos are right on target & so very helpful God bless you
I wish I had found your videos a year ago. My brother fits this and has had me in tears many times. I’m 70.My sister had a small heart attack after one encounter. My mother was dying with severe dementia, he moved into the house, took over and we were not allowed to voice any opinion about her care. I sadly did not see my mother in the last days because I could not deal with the trauma of my brother.Now I see he is a classic narcissist. I’m learning a lot. Thank you, maybe I will be able to visit my 95 yo father now.
Yep spot on all they want to do is confuse and crush you . Get out stay out never let them back in again . If you do go back to them it will feel like a stuck record and again they will say it's your fault . Been there had the tee shirt etc . Be strong and love yourself .its there problem not yours
You’re a genius I swear you are a genius. got me through so much last night I had a fight with my ex I’ve been binge watching u!
Geez! I consider myself a smart, educated and fair Woman. But, I fell for this hook, line and sinker!!! I can't believe it. What you spoke about in this video is exactly everything I go through on a daily basis. I began to think it was all my fault and that maybe I wasn't trying hard enough. Or rather, I was being too hard on him. I feel like crying right now. You how I was feeling like I just wanted to disappear and go to some deserted island where there are no people and just live out the rest of my days alone. I used to be so happy, fulfilled and full of energy. This has really broken me. I know I have it in me to rise again. I have so much Love to give. I just want it reciprocated. The unconditional kind of Love. Where both parties want to build each other up to be extremely happy and successful. The kind of Love, where we're both so connected and would not hesitate to fall beside each other in the good fight... That kind of Love. Thank you!
You are not alone. We'll get through it and we will find that kind of love. Keep your chin up sis. I married a narc. Luckily I lived to tell it. The best for my daughter and I was getting as far away from him as we could. We'll be fine. Fingers crossed.
@@timeoutwithpatel7663 .. Thank you so very much! ♥
I think it was an unrequited love. It is so draining. A love that is not reciprocated. What caught my attention in your post was because I was in that shoe some months ago. It made me question myself million times. However, all I could think of was similar to what you have put out here, to travel very far, to an island where you ll just be alone with you & yourself. I crave for this and it ll happen someday.
@RighttheWrong: Everything you said is exactly how I feel. It is so easy to become "hard hearted" and anticipate that this evil lies within every woman. Thank you for the reassurance that there are women like my mother and grandmother still alive in the world today. Thank you, and good luck & God bless with all your endeavors.
@@timeoutwithpatel7663 … ♥️♥️♥️…
I thank you from California. I got a covert narc and a fragile narc to apologize. One indirectly and the other one directly. This talk breaking their conversations down helped me so much. I saw her coming a mile away. Thank you. No way have done it without his help. My whole family are codependents. We were all at the mercy of this fragile narc. Took my life back. Don't feel depressed anymore. My brother is a good man and he married a fragile Narc. saw him exhausted all the time. I started to worry. But I have been feeding him fuel through powerful text messages. I know she did not see it coming. This is so powerful. Thank you. You are doing Gods work. A million times thank you.
Thank you, Michelle. I need to walk away from toxic friends in my life. I am worth more and I deserve better.
@@emokiriemiabednegoabed2844 Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
They will also comment on how beautiful other women are and never compliment you, but I always said “yes, she is very pretty” I never let him see me react! I was just discarded, I think he knew I was not going to fall for anymore games. THank the lord above!!
Yes same here .
He had a fetish failing at women as I'm holding his hand walking through the mall & wouldn't stop .k. looking but not failing yo & down .
So I let go of his hand & he says says what what did I do.
What woman . Lol.
I hear ya .
All the beat 2 u .
"The narcissist doesn't want to see the truth." This is in my mind the essence. Once we understand this we can easily eschew futile attempts of trying to convince the narcissist of anything. It all comes down to letting go.
The X would sit across the room, either alone or with a co-opted therapist, and I would end up crying uncontrollably while she sat there looking at me like a cold dead fish. I didn’t want her to “rescue me.” I wanted her to have feelings like me so we could communicate. She calmed down ONLY when I was upset. I finally realized she did NOT have feelings I had. No.
Danny Reed stay strong, Danny. The good side of this is being able to recognize this in others, or more importantly recognizing the lack of narcissism in good people that are actually worth spending time with. ♥️
I've been told that I have no feelings and that when I'm spoken to, it is akin to speaking to a wall.... So.. Does that make me a narcicist?
EOD JAGER No. There are many reasons to not have feelings or appear to not have feelings.
Wow,when I started watching your videos a few years ago yours eyes were full of sadness and pain.But now,they are shining and beautiful!You've healed,thank God!
Just had the blameshifting today with my twin sister.
I wasn’t aware of it before today. She is an ideal narcissist!!! 😢 so traumatised by the choices she has made in her life
I pray for the universe to help heal her 🤞
Narcissist are made in their upbringing as a child.
Super video and most of what you have mentioned i have experienced. The whole time I was looking inward thinking I was all of the problem from start to finish. It is so draining for anyone of an emphatic nature. I also feel there would be more empathy in the world only for these narcs. I personally do not want to get close to anyone ever again. Arms length is close enough for me now.
My sister does all these things!!!! Thanks for the great video!
This video helped me so much. I knew it was him the whole time. I started to really feel crazy.
I'm just getting light on the worst ride of my life 27yrs. Everything she says, fits perfectly!,..He's EXPOSED NOW!, AWESOME....I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN DRAG UP & DOWN, SIDEWAYS!, spawn around, ect., Wow!
Your videos have helped me SOO much. My ex husband always accused me of cheating on him, when he cheated on me our whole marriage. And it took me 5 years to leave him & he still won’t leave me alone YEARS later.
Now I’m dealing w another one. Who keeps telling me I’m doing what they do. Call me names, then say I called them names. But can’t tell me what I said. Constantly putting me down, making me feel like I’m unworthy. I have many failed relationships & now it’s bc I’m crazy & no one wanted me. Ppl love this person. He’s charming & charismatic. Not a typical narcissist.
10 seconds into the video and I'm already sold.
This is so sickening, but exactly true.
I can't wait for next video because I really need ways in how to shut people like this down.
YES! YES! YES!
Stop having reactions! I posted a more detailed experience on here before I saw your comment. It's against our natural instinct to not react but that is the only thing that works. Don't cry and ignore them. The healthiest thing to do if possible is kick them out of your life ASAP...it will give you peace and save you inevitable heartache and trauma. Don't argue back, don't get angry, don't cry, don't show any emotion at all! It took me 4 months of acting like this before he actually left because "I was no longer submissive to him" .
S Martin my standing up for myself actually caused by narcissistic ex to break up with me.
S Martin so it was fine
@@hannahscott6604 Standing up for yourself is the best thing! They can't stand it and will leave. And don't give up, I waited over 2 years to date someone and he was a Narc also but I saw it early on and got rid of him. I've given up too much of my life already! I finally did meet a Good man so there's hope!
I took my power back when I divorced him. I never looked back.
I did too!!!
You are Godsent. Thank You for saving my sanity. You are so accurate. Me and my girl were going at it like we always do and I picked up my phone and started playing this video ignoring her and as you were explaining how they do she was, not kidding, acting exactly like you were explaining on cue. And the more you talked the madder and louder she got. Thank you so much for walking me through this insanity.
I am baffled at how you EXACTLY describe all that frustrated me so much that I had to run away. Of course then followed by regrets and therapy sessions to work on myself (which did help, btw). Now, after two years she shows up again in a by the way manner, obviously ignoring any of the past. Then, two conversations in...
that puzzled, frustrated and hopeless feeling is back. I feel so enlightened by videos like yours.. Thanks.