How to Outsmart Narcissists Silent Treatment End the Pain Today
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ก.พ. 2019
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You cannot control the narcissist but you can control how you respond to them - put an end to the torture inflicted by silent treatment for good!!
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I know that not everyone has the ability to afford coaching, so I am always looking for ways to give back. I am looking for someone to point out something specific regarding something in this video.... I can’t tell you what it is, otherwise I’m giving it away.. I would love to enjoy a half an hour FaceTime call with the person that gets it - trust me you will understand when you see it. 😊🤔😜 I love forward to our FaceTime call!
the ending... background was green, and it was cute when your finger wasn't lining up with your pop ups...
Hahaha you are awesome 👏 👏 My husband collects my bloopers - when I first began making videos I was so embarrassed by them I wouldnt watch them. Now they literally make me laugh until tears roll down my eyes. Thank you for watching the whole video!!! If you want to FaceTime with me - email me and we can set up a time 😊🤗
This happens most to mens so women can say domestic violence
I had a feeling this was what the silent treatment was about, but to have it explained in such a way made it so much more clearer to me. Amazing video and great piece of advice, you have a very natural way of getting point's across with ease and that which is clearly understandable for the victims, I for one thank you kind regards.
@@FromSurvivingToThriving Hi,how are you doing? I would really like to speak to you about this because I'm going through this process because a female co worker of my husband of 20 yrs (been together since I'm 18yrs old.) She's all literally text book, maybe something's are a little off but she's not mentally stable to put it on lightly. I have been researching this for over 6-8 mos and I NEVER KNEW WHAT A NARCISSIST WAS AND HE'S IN SEVERE DENIAL 😢 WE HAVE A 2 1/2YR OLD AND HE IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON IN THE PAST YEAR. He has to hear it from someone else. A outsider because she's so sick. He recognizes the abuse and it's clearly not normal. She's a professional. I am really worried about him and he is allowing her to do this because he continues to not stick to the "NO CONTACT" .....ITS SO SAD....
Once you have the knowledge - the silent treatment is actually a holiday 🤣
😂😂😂😂
👍👍👍😂
Absolutely
I just realized this
Lol
@@lacrossslounge5403 right on.
Unwittingly, they train you to be Without Them. And in that aloneness, you are also given the greatest gift - training to be self sufficient. Stay strong 💪🏼
Nd Paris Amen!
So true.
Nd Paris You're so right. It's soooooooo true
❤
Nd Paris you nailed it. Thank you
I discarded the Narc! The silent treatment taught me to be without them! I am now experiencing happiness, peace and loving life.
The Narc is the EVIL personified! They do this to punish us what they don’t know is we are getting used to being without them!!
I’m going through this right now. My husband hasn’t called me or text me for a month now. It’s so horrible. But I am starting to realize that I’m finding more peace. Prayers please
@ Judy Serena I pray God gives you strength and courage to get through this. If someone loves you they will NOT put you through this pain. Please be strong, I know it’s not easy. You will survive this! There is STILL a life to live🙏🏾💝
@@themarro6695 ...the burns them then they have to search new supply to hook their claws into and make miserable... Loser weirdo creeps lmfao
@ narcfreesociety
Totally agree!! They need to continue the cycle, love bomb, devalue, inflict pain then discard. That’s what they thrive on... USELESS creatures!!
At first it’s hard but eventually you get used to it honestly. The silent treatment that the narcissist initiates isn’t as bad after a while. They literally train you to get used to life without them.
You eventually realize these people are USELESS. inner strength is so much better
Sucky part is you have to go through the initial self blame phase, anxiety, hurt, fear of loss, being used, disrespected, etc etc beforehand. Well, I did anyway.
Wow so true
But why tho?
Yep. Mine taught me to live alone and be fine with it.
5 months silent treatment. I have taken myself to the movies, taken myself to dinner. Most of all the money i used to spend on the narc i have enjoyed spending on myself. Who needs that loser?
MsPeppersmom
Amen, spend time n money on you, not the people abusing u.
@@Kcali111 , this was when they were in a nice phase and before the real them showed up
5 weeks longest and still going...without a reason or an answer...without an argument..without an issue...We had a 1.5 yr. great union why? I gave up hoping of any reconcile already....been ghosted, ignored and silenced out of the blue...right after we spent a romantic date together..I'm hurting but narcissist doesn't acknowledge my existence our relationship our future (we planned ) nor our present nor our history...😌
I got no explanation either. Zip. I was the love of his life and then never heard from him.
@@MsPeppersmom same- wow!! 🤗
The more you cry,the more cruel they get.
Yes, 0 emotions. Stone c0ld
Yup
How true ..my partner does the same thing whenever I have any problem in life he just turn cold showing silent treatment and leaving me alone to handle all problems i plead him to be with me atleast emotionally..he just get more stubborn to not help me.......
Never give the narc the satisfaction of being in control of your emotions,because their ability to get any type of reaction from you is what makes them feel powerful and important. Knowing that tey can make you desperate gives their overly inflated ego a rush
true!!!
"Theyre withering without me".. I nearly cried. I cant believe we are all dealing with these crazy lunatics.
Right😒👀
@Miss. SANDS it took me 10 years !!!! Broken up now thankfully.
Exactly
You better believe it
As someone who was a disgusting Narcissist myself few years ago. I can approve of this. This is exactly what we think. It's pathetic and I 10000% regret being a narcissist once in the past. It's stupid. I wanted their pain, I wanted their drama. Ugh , I urge any Narcissist to please identify themselves sooner and stop hurting ppl. It's a big blow to your ego, but learn humility for once.
If someone gives you the silent treatment. Leave them alone.
I moved out. Final silent treatment done by me.
Jennifer WB good for you!! Best wishes for a peaceful life!
Great!! Dont go back 🙏🙏
Exactly. Nobody needs that bullshit.
Did the silent treatment stop when you moved out?
Crystal Climenhage no. The final call was “I'm ready to divorce. Its time to move on.” So, I already had the papers drawn weeks beforehand and I filed on him Friday. 💪🏼
Once they do silent treatment, dump them. Period.
Yes
I dumped him - with the same silence.
True!! Its total lack of respect. Karma will get them one day!! I'm being ghosted right now for 3rd time. He dont know I don't give a shit. I dumped him so that's my satisfaction!!
The smartest answer I heard about this
I don't wanna be food for a narssistic person
It hit so wonderfully hard when u said "narcissists are allergic to peace and happiness" 😊❤️
My narcissist DIL has told lies and pushed my son and granddaughter out my life for 6 years . I block her and she still using her flying monkeys to get information about me . I miss my son and granddaughter. I refuse to plead anymore. I will not feed her wicked ego anymore. I have given God this battle and he will protect me from my enemies
silent treatment often is amplified by the narc communicating with others the normal way, hilarious conversations on the phone all day long etc. without apparently recognizing your presence . it's all a game.
So true! 😆
This is the truest comment ever.
Everything s a game.
Exactly, the key word is GAME. When you know it's a game then you know it has nothing to do with you!! 🙌
Going through this in my relationship 😫
The only way to end the ‘silent treatment,’ abuse cycle is to end that relationship. Get away, stay away!!
Exactly but he say he will find me if I leave.
Yes
Sophia Dilworth ....I went on a 3-state tour hiding out with friends, staying 2-steps ahead of him and his private detectives. It’s been 19-months, since I ran from that sicko narcopath. I’m hopeful enough time has gone by he’s moved on to the next victim. I’d pray for her, but I’m too busy praying for myself.
Sophia Dilworth Create a safety plan. Google “safety plan domestic abuse”
Change your name if it’s not an issue. Log EVERYTHING with the police. Keep a diary. Block him on your phone, email, Facebook. Change your phone number (get a new sim).
Good luck, Sweetheart
Xx
Bert S. Pitts is this for real coz I'm seeing this twice?
"Everything you say can and will be used against you!" < believe THAT!!
This is how I feel....
Exactly....
@@rivahenderson3519 so sorry dear
exactly.
they inflict damage instead of looking for a solutions
My current situation.. But I’m taking charge.
Well 2 years later he's still waiting for me to call him back as I used to do within few hours of silent treatment, he waiiiiitedd and got caught up in his own game , I never called back 🤣 we deserve better, I no longer have time for games like this !
What realllyyyy.. Thats super encouraging... Needed this much
@@eligant_lavender yes girl and you can do it too! Never settle for less than you deserve! 📍
Thankyou... May you always remain and happy
Did he ever call you
@@mwanginmary1136 yes he did, I never replied though. I moved on yeah 😊
Self Love kills the NaRcs🤣
They hate when you Self Love yourself💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Remember one got so angry with me for wanting to put myself first especially with what I did with my own money
Right on
It's not self love it's the cheating and infidelity you do that kills a narc but why would you kill someone who is too genuine and too real too honest to be true
An honest enemy is better than a false friend. When In doubt, pay more attention to what people DO and less to what they SAY. Not only do actions speak louder than words, they are more difficult to fake.
That One Chris All of my worst enemies were once “friends” of mine.
Deep man. The older you get the more you see this is true. :/
EXACTLY
True !
Absolutely!
i just dont get how a person can be so heartless to the one they love
Because they don't love
I think it's because they don't know how to truly love. Because if you truly love another person you will not treat them like garbage. Period.
Adam Benner...... it's because they DON'T LOVE....They have no empathy, feelings of love, or caring. They are punishing you anyway they can. They'll put you down, call you terrible names, abuse you, accuse you, hurt you anyway they can. It all makes them feel superior, MORE of everything good. This is their food.... constantly telling themself and showing everyone how GREAT they are, how intelligent they are, how superior they are.... and you are nothing.
They have no sympathy. Not for you not for anyone!
@@deannemarinez2329 well actually they do, themselves.
The longest silent treatment lasted 4 months before I finally had to do what was best for myself. "Leave the relationship" Prior to that 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 1.5 months of silence, no one deserves to be treated that way.
I’m into my 9 th month being ignored
2 months silent treatment from my husband when we were apart, that’s fine! if he wants to ignore me! I will ignore him permanently ( DIVORCE ) The narc. look of disbelief was all the validation I needed. Self love is all I needed and I’am so cherished that my family were very supportive and I found hope and a new found freedom. I pray for every survivor that they are able to break free from this insideous narcissistic abuse!
So my husband throws a tantrum and never apologizes and then gives us a silent treatment. Then ate like nothing ever happened and wants us to do the same and cycle repeats
Months? Days and I'm annoyed and embarrassed I even know anyone doing this silent treatment toddler tantrum bs
@@melissahanna6456 mine is 2 years
I just learned today that I’m dealing with a narcissist and today i am washing my hands 🤞🏽
Good
Did you wash your hands or are you still food for the narcissist?
@@Shawnmyrelle over a year clean! No contact at all.
@@bracefaceq8265 thats what Im talking about!
Last time he gave me the silent treatment, I started on paperwork and an appointment with my lawyer to get a divorce going.
Carlottie Haha! Good girl!!!! Did you find an attorney that understood NPD?
Carlottie Good for you!
Did he try to make amends?
Doing the right thing. Go head strong not heart weak
Omg me two she ghosted me and our kids like nothing for 3 month..but her silent gave me enough time protect my kiddos and I.
The easiest way that I know of to spot a true narcissist is to call them on something, anything - big or small, it doesn’t matter which. If someone’s immediate response to being called out or questioned is to become defensive and blame you for their behavior while taking zero responsibility, you are dealing with a narcissist and should run run run far far away.
Yes repeated cycles. 🤤
Excellent examples of major red flags one should be aware of in identifying these types of individuals!
Absolutely, they will never, ever admit to anything! Nor will they ever apologise I have found, even when they are in the wrong.
Ahhhh my current situation
E.M. Medrano amen
In the beginning when I didn't realize I was dealing with a Narc, I would beg, plead and apologize.
Same here but nowadays, like a a boss
Me too 😔
Been there. Now that I can recognize a Narc. I don’t waste my time. Bye!
Me too!
Same here, but my pathetic life went on for 17 yrs like that. Past 3 yrs i have changed it. What a waste of life
My husband has been driving me crazy for almost 30 years. The real kicker is, I'm an intelligent attorney and I had no idea what was going on! I feel so stupid. I began researching and he has every single trait, says the same exact words, does all the things a NARCISSIST does. I never even knew what the word meant before. Now, I don't know what I'm doing even living with this person. Over the last few months, I have learned just what this video is about. I grab my keys to go to a movie when my husband isn't even speaking to me and he wants to go with me! No way. I get on my treadmill, fix myself snacks and watch a movie, go to church, call my friends on the phone and laugh a lot. I also have two private savings accounts and am making lists of what I want to take with me to another country far, far away. I'm selling everything I own on Poshmark and stashing the money. Life is too short for me to sit here and live someone else's life. Thanks for the great video, and for validating my crazy plans to get away.
I can relate and its only been 6 years. God Bless
It is never too late. Good luck
Rebuild your life without the rot they bring!
Be very careful sometimes it's best not to let your right hand know what your left hand is doing at least not to certain extent
We were traumabonded though. I lived with my narcex for 24 years and I'm a well educated socialworker :D I leaved him 4 years ago. I wish you all luck with your next move and your future.
Even an apology can be used against you. 100% right
I went all the way to my narc husbands office to apologise.twice.had a lunch date.only to be told in the next fight i was talking all crap after they have soaked tje attention and apology
Silent treatment? I used to count the days, and now I don't, don't really care. It's kind of nice. Haha
Ha ha me too
You betcha
@Samuel WattersonSorry you feel that way
No one should ever handle this kind of disrespectful, harming and most toxic BS ever. Just leave! Now! You are worth it, to value your own time and life!
Years of putting up with Silent treatment has lead many to suicide and blame. It hurts the most because out of nowhere, for any reason, things you do or don't do, they just go cold without any explanation. Some of us have given up arguing or trying to make sense why things are the way they are. Imagine someone you love giving you the stone Cold treatment. You're dying inside and they don't care. Welcome to the Silent Treatment.
I consider the silent treatment a blessing. I feel grateful when he’s ignoring me because I don’t have to be on guard.
Alexis, kudos! That was a positive stance. It's always good to look for blessings in any given situation.
Amen... it's like God answers you prayers to block all the negative talk, critism an just plain crazy makiing... silence is golden
Absolutely same here
What does that tell you about the relationship?
@@ANGELSVEN I preferred not to interact with someone with abusive tendencies.
My husband is giving me the so
Silent treatment right now, but I choose to not pay attention to him, and enjoy myself with family and friends.
Joyce Conley I'm about to start doing this the next time
Joyce Conley let me know how that goes
@@yudelleanlisatajirikenyana4519 after noticing the silent treatment, I've done the same. still nothing. I get shared memes 1-2x weekly lol about it. No plans being made 'cause she undoubtedly has a new supply already
Joyce Conley I am enjoying my time not hearing about him and all his greatness. I have learned not to care. When he is ready to talk he will. I am going to continue to do me.😉 I guess this is what it is with these people
Kelsey T how long did the silent treatment last? My husband is now going into 9th month of silent treatment
Silent treatment within a month of getting married...New bride, new country. Held me hostage by watching TV for 4 days while I cried in the closet wondering what it is that I had done wrong. 25 years later...I am getting to see these videos. Thank you. Silent treatment continues, but thanks to you and other guides like you, I give a s**t. Am in Houston enjoying my time with my family while he sulks alone.
Same here! Lost 24 years with this narc!
Please tell me some of the things that you did to help yourself happy with my husband for 36 years since I was 14 and number 50 he's in Northridge all these years I didn't know how do you do it it hurts so bad
😰😰
Good for you.
They like to claim that silent treatment is their way to "teach" a lesson or catalyze empathy or to see their side. In reality they lose their ability to influence you. Little by little, they teach you to either live with them, alone, or simply live without them.
You win by running far away from a narcissist!
Yes, the ultimate WIN. I wish more people knew that and did that.
How do we get out
Run forest run 🏃♂️
I'm in that situation right now. He's in the basement pouting for some reason and won't respond so I'm eating dinner alone now. No prob. The timing of this video is perfect. Thanks so much.
Sunny Daye when they pout to punish you relish it be happy and joyful and use all that new free time so productively. They hated it even more. No sorry I’m not going to beg for you....😂
Sunny, my narcissistic spyse ate in the basement and gave me the silent treatment for two yrs. Get out and don't look back. A narcissist never changes. It's shear craziness !
Sunny Daye
Enjoy your dinner is PEACE! :-))))
@@vivalospepes1402 I have had the silent treatment for years too. I no longer speak to him either and treat him the same way. I live my own life and let him carry on with his own miserable angry existence
I have a basement dweller also. Yay for us.
It’s the greatest thing to get the silent treatment! It means they’re done getting anything from you!
Currently in a relationship with a narcissist right now. And everything is always my fault. I’m always wrong. Now that I’m silent it’s bothering her, but it’s healing me
Run, don't walk. Get out.
Same. I was wondering if I'm giving silent treatment same a narc. But then I realised I'm doing it to heal. Well I'm not stone cold silent. Just doing me, no longer being the first to check in, no longer being the first to take interest, no longer being the first to solve her problems. Now she confused why I'm not talking to her. I'm going to continue keeping the focus on me. My denial has gone. I was waiting for change. We had councilling and there was some improvement. But actually, still hardly any. I'm noticing the level of anxiety I have if I'm not immediately available to help with the kids after I've gone to the toilet, or had a shower, or done me time. Well I'm just staying in my body and remind myself that it's not on me to make sure she stays non triggered, happy, satisfied. Nope no longer my job
I disagree with one part! If they give you the silent treatment... give it back to them! The best response, is no response. they don't value you. move on, show your worth, nit say it.
Husband just finished giving me the silent treatment for two weeks. He stopped because I IGNORED HIM COMPLETELY. Like, I just behaved as if he wasn't there. The only times I spoke to him was if the boys were watching and expected him to participate, so I extended an invitation, but didn't care whether or not he took part. I didn't remind him of any dates, times, or holidays. I just took care of Me. 😊
If they do contact you, show them how happy you are. 😀
@@ANGELSVEN no you ignore them back
FACTS💯💯
The first thing you do is LEAVE. Never allow anyone else to control you being able to enjoy life. If you want to go to the gym, go to the damn gym. This is mind games. They are unhealthy and the cycle never ends.
The narc is my life is giving me silent treatment since last 40 days. But I am enjoying this. Today morning I was singing loudly in the kitchen and that freaked out the narc...
I had never realized that the reason I felt horrible during the silent treatment was because I needed him to approve of me, and it was part of my own codependence. The minute I realized what you were saying I felt total peace within me. It felt like a miracle. I really don’t need his approval- knowing that at a heart level set me free ❤
I’ve left so many times but my need for him to accept, even approve of my decision (which of course he didn’t) kept me going back. I HAVE A RIGHT TO LEAVE AN ABUSIVE SITUATION HE DOES NOT OWN ME. Thank you so much Michelle 😘
I finally realised that them giving me the silent treatment was a great opportunity to free myself and just get on with my life...the silence was GOLDEN! If you take it as that it's empowering.
About the 3rd silent treatment into a 3 year marriage, I filed for divorce, nipped narc in the bud lol
Did the silent treatment stop?
blog.melanietoniaevans.com/1-reason-why-the-narcissist-wont-leave-you-alone/ do her course, it’s healing
Lol
NO FAULT DIVORCE WILL BE THE RUIN OF WESTERN FAMILIES.
i am in a relationship one year.we got pregnant now 5 months and she is giving me the silent treatment ,talking to the ex.we have broke up like twice and moved back together again.but we don't live together is it normal?
Observe don't absorb, engage in behavior that makes you proud, you're allowed to be healthy. This is simple and powerful, thank you!
My ex gave me the silent treatment and I gave my ex the silent treatment back. I enjoyed the silence cause he.wasnt causing problems then. It was nice
Inalways cried and begged and Apologized even when i knew it was not me.
Me too
Me three
Story.of my life
Same
Same here. 😞
The silent treatment is a very mean treatment from a loved one.
True
«because it’s your fault”
@@tatianahawaii13 sarcasm?
Jason Oquinn I mean narc will say I’m giving you silent treatment because you are guilty and it’s your fault. So victim will blame herself and think it’s his/her fault
@@tatianahawaii13 yep....i figured so, haha....good comments :)
When he would use the silent treatment on me, I would say to him, "oh goody, it will peaceful for a while." Lol!
First silent treatment I bailed and never looked back.
Can’t believe this is a “thing” my heart goes out to you ladies and prayers for your strength and courage this has to be agonizing
Kellye Davis it is
Women are also narcissist too.
Kellye Davis it’s because we woman lack self love and self esteem. We devalue ourselves. Once we realize this then we can put an end to this
Women are just as much, if not more narcissistic.
Kellye Davis sexist balony
Ignore them and their pathetic games. Focus your attention on anything and anyone but them, show them you don't care, that boils them right up! Sweet revenge 😂
Yep . Worked for me!
YES DONT RESPOND TO THEM BEING SILENT
I loved it I would have silence and a spa day for myself I eventually started loving the silent treatment
So true! I do this all the time to my narc mom, oh man she hates it! I get called hateful & ungrateful. Ha! Last time i stood up for myself she said to me "one day youre gona be sorry!" 😂😂 narcs crack me up with their childish ways!!
Grant sc Act normal ... Don't let the creature affect you ... Business as usual ... Have a conversation with them while they are giving you the ST, as they passive aggressively grunt their response ...
Since you asked for comments, the girl I broke up with told me "I was doing ok until I saw that you were enjoying yourself..." she actually really said this!
Sometimes they say things that expose them and don’t even notice!, they are so not aware of themselves.
I'm very happy being Single!!
NO CONTACT is awesome!!!
I allow people to be who they are. If they want to leave, I run to open the door for them and wish them goodbye 👋🏽 for silent treatment I treat in the same way. I know how to stop texting or calling so fast it’ll make ya head spin.
Amen love this
💕
Amen!!!!! Turn it on them they can't take it their heads turn like the exocist
Ms Sweets okayyyyyx I need that kind of strength
charlie gage we all have our gifts and strengths. It’s not fun watching someone you love walk out your life but you can’t force someone to feel what you feel. That’s why I think God gives us free will, either you love Him or you don’t. We mustn’t use love or sex as a weapon or we become like a common rapist.
After dealing with the silent treatment from my ex narc, I decided that if someone did that again, they would emerge to the fact that I am gone and they are blocked on all forms of communication. Never again!
YES.... if my time isn't worth your respect then you don't get any of it! 💚
exactly
BOOM!
Did u have a breakup convo with ex? Im currently receiving the silent treatment and it's been difficult
yes it's so difficult that it sounds
I'm done with the messages explaining to the Narc how the silence feels. Now I'm going to relax, watch some good movies, spend time doing things I enjoy. One of us has to be and act like an adult, it's sure not gonna be the Narc, so it's me. Maybe this time I will learn to reject him when he gets bored with the silent/punishment tactics. He always accuses me of ignoring him after he's done with his silent treatments. Wow, this must be gas-lighting. I even apologized to him before when we both knew it was him that started the ignoring first. Geez it's a good thing we have channels like this one to help us understand we're not alone,
I have just ended a relationship (tonight), because the person that I wholeheartedly loved, continues to use of the silent treatment.
The silent treatment is amongst one of the cruelest “activities” humans are capable of.
My heart, and spirit, is beyond broken
Hope your journey to healing is going well 💝self love 💕
We must start with self-love. We must. And prayer for strength and self control. Somehow, of our thoughts. All the best
Calm down. Go for a walk. Take a nap.
No more silent treatments in my life ... When you say no to bad treatments from anybody, you attract only healthy ones ... it’s rather simple - SELF LOVE 💜
✌
Exactly
I'm currently in the 'silent treatment' mode and it's been about 5 days. I only reached out to him once and he didn't answer my call. I don't advocate playing games but I'm giving him the same treatment. If he decides he no longers wants me in his life, so be it. I'm not giving him an inch. Let him contact me because I know my worth. Thank you for this video.
You go girl....so pamper yourself
good for you！
Straightshooter what happened after all?
I just blocked him. Every Friday be disappear well I don't care if he stays where he goes
Keep us updated. I’m in the same exact situation, except it’s been 3 days for me. I don’t understand how you could treat someone this way that you claim to love so much. I wish I knew how to just let go and move on.
Love yourself first before others. If a narcissist gives you silent treatment get out of that relationship, its toxic!
I did what you said in the beginning for a whole yr..I just started the silent treatment 5 days ago. He has called and text..he acts like he has no idea why I'm not answering. I fell in love with him and he acted like he hated me. I know for a fact I've done nothing wrong. I'm so glad I've found these videos. After a yr of I'm sorry..why don't you want me..I love you..crying..doing everything he wants. I've had enough..the truth hurts..but I'm now finally healing.
So happy for you!
Crying often makes them belittle or laugh at you for your emotions...and accuse you of faking it/being manipulative when the truth is....your narc hurt you and you couldn't hold your pain in any longer. They won't likely ever understand that, so feel free to walk away from your narc when emotional or crying.
That's good video! But rule of thumb if someone silent treat you once - it's time to walk away. That's a red flag
I totally agree!!
I didn't know this then.
Yes no more deception
Red flags ignored= REGRET
@@atheistinalabama4206True. That's me atm after 4 months ups and downs and bc he always replied understanding each time I said I felt hurt and I reached my limit I thought he cares and he was the 1st man clear about intentions.
I know it rationally..I know ofcourse I manage alone but after some dissapointments this seemed to be genuine. Then 2 or 3 days silences but hey ppl are busy it happens but it added up. I felt a certain unpredictable vibe but I also get confused if it's my would etc.
But mostly it's rather simple. If it hurts and I am a reasonable person I don't expect daily contact and much attention I do my things too but when it feels one sided when it suits them. They determine timing of contact and go quiet when they are done. Leaving you hanging in uncertainty or a restless feeling starts to come up on day 3 of silence.
In the name of busy I get that but again, It felt disrespectful and atm he is again quiet since 3 days. He usually stops texting in a conversation.
He did admit he is a disaster in relationships but I thought: he is humble to admit he messed up, green flag and nobody is perfect incl me.....
Here I am heartache, crying but even in this pain I also feel a positive little spark that I will enjoy the sun today and heal my wound again and let it go.
I do feel moments where I think that my trust is officially gone but idk how to not attach to someone.
This man claimed he wants to build something beautiful together.
That makes it extra dissapointing and he was my last try on a dating app so yes I'm done with that.
It's only 4 months but it still hurts.
You dont meet someone to click with daily so well and that's why I wanted to preserve the connection...😢
It's a rainbow of feelings rejection, pain, frustration and Idk if he is ghosting me but I just conclude this is it and it would my be first experience of being ghosted, I guess. Cruel.
We didn't have an argument, nothing.
He wrote " that's why I miss having you around"
I said sonething sweet in return.
Then he went quiet which is normal bc of daily business but it's now Sunday and the last conv was on Thursday.
He also often goes quiet in weekends.
We are not married I know but still if you say things like " I hope we can build something beautiful together" etc it creates love intentions
The fact that soneone leaves you hanging and wondering etc. should be enough to tell myself this is not my type of human being :(
I'm married to one of them. Initially for the first few years i suffered, but guess what ,today i enjoy the silent treatment because i have days to indulge myself doing everything i luv, and now he comes crawling, NOT ME. I've mastered this. Whole new ball game.
My exiled narc ended our relationship(if you can call it that) by text after I gave her some home truths, never responded to the text and that was around a month ago.. Keep going guys
Something similar happened to the.
Here's what you need to do. When you discover that you are in a relationship with a narcissist, run. Don't even look back and never, I mean never, speak to them again. Make them end their silent treatment alone, without you there. Don't go back.
It's easier said than done,what if you never realized he's a narcissist until hearing it from utube and you already got 3kids?
@@ggold4825 Reach out to friends and family for help. Definitely watch this video, I have watched it about 11 times today already th-cam.com/video/XIbFtZMVwxk/w-d-xo.html Really helped me a lot
It's so hard to end the relationshiop.
@@adiwwwha8032 the silent treatment hurts like hell Im confused
Don’t feel bad about how long it took. I was literally mistreated, manipulated, and mentally/emotionally abused by a man for 18-19 years and it still took me close to 2 years to leave him after I finally realized what was happening to me.
I"m at 23 years. Have known for 2.5 years. Hoping the end is soon!
Thank you for writing this and sorry for all the pain from this cruel treatment.
I beat myself up for again ending up hurt bc I gave a new man a chance who seemed sincere but there were 'red' flags.
I also didn't want to be distrustful and he never judged me or replied angry when I exoressed my hurt so I thought oke he is not of bad intentions and maybe we can make a new road together.
We are human we all need love and that's not a crime but unfortunately there are ppl in this would who just don't care how they make others feel. No consideration. Civil people with empathy and decency will never act cold.
It happened to me more than once in dating and it does damage my selfesteem.
I think there are many emotional abusers who want to control everything. Whether they are plain evil aware or just ignorant and lack emptional intelligence.
What hurts me the most is to feel a bond with him but then days of silence and distance.
From hapoy warm to confusion and feeling down.
The pain that I miss him but apparently he doesn't miss me. Or maybe doesn't express it. I have no clue! He said he missed having me around and now ignores me and my text for days.
I guess he is gone.
He said " when we meet who knows we will say nothing at all and just lay in eachother's arms.
Maybe he said what I wanted to hear but when I asked him if he is playing a game he replied: why would I? It won't achieve anything with games.
It's exhausting. If I neven hear from him again it will be hard bc I wull never know what happened and why. That's just inhuman to do to another person.
We didn't argue.
I can't think of a why and if It's me, he could have told me.
You never know.
He told me he gets lost in his business and it's the story of his life. I respect his time and life but I deserve respect for my energy and person too.
Avyway..I have to accept and try not tp dwell on it to much.
It hurts but it will heal by time
❤
I remember having a conversation with my ex narc whom I lived with for almost 5 years..I'll never forget it. and the leason learned.
I said to her, "what are you thinking and feeling when you're giving me silent treatment for days?"
she says - "I'm waiting for you to say the right thing. And if you don't say the right thing, I eventually give up and let you back in."
Once I caught on to what the silent treatment is used for.... I went with it. I played along thank full for the break and it really burned their souls when I was my happy self -not letting myself change when they went into pout silent treatment mode.... so when they announced they were going to suddenly be really busy after they didn’t get their way, I would mirror that and say you know I’m glad you are going to be busy -because I will also be busy. That got them to discard me but I was happy about it.
And don't look back!
😊🤗
This 💯
Yea but it don’t work if you really love the person an have a lot to loose by mirroring they move
@@DanielDiaz-py6qy you gotta love yourself more so you realize that you are much more worthy of love and respect and the world does not go around just that toxic person.
I am binge watching all your videos. I have been in a 12-year relationship and had no clue that I was in a narcissistic relationship. I have endured so much trauma and always figured I was the problem. You are describing my life to a "t" and opening my eyes and helping me to heal. Thank you for these videos!!!
Kim, dont b so hard on ur self 15yrs here... yep 15 to finally Accept, grieve, n Let Go. I pickd up on it w/in 10yrs of the marriage but "thinking he would change" 😩 i still stayed.... 15yrs NOW n i know it was because I needed to Learn more about narc ......otherwise id prob would have left one n later realize i was dating the same Narc type. You will make it n b so much happier. I thought i was doing good for the kods to stay... but it was worse....i was teaching them that "it was ok to let someone disrespect you, n manipilate you and that it was normal to b unhappy" Until i said enough its enough.
25 years and I didn't know...yes I feel great shame. Wasted half my life
Ok! Not as long, but once I found out that he was a narcissist I got sick to my STOMACH 😳
18 years and counting for me.
I’ve gone from being a young independent girl who was intelligent and ambitious to a soul shattered nervous and self loathing wreck.
I was the ‘better’ half when we met but he saw to it that I was nothing within a few years.
I look back and remember the first ever sign of narcissism from him and it was a comment a week after we met “why do you only wear lipstick when you’re with your friend” and slowly over the years he’s just hacked away at my self worth and made me feel like I’m not an individual person.
I am just leaving a narc I was like you didnt even know until ended up 3 months no sleep not eating distressed to point what I felt no return was very confident clever woman but tell you I didnt know animals like this even existed but now I'm sure 1 thing no matter how good I was to him he had 1 goal destroy me make me needy didnt work but my emotions shot I adored him never seen it at all
I have began to welcome the silent treatment , now I practice ignoring the Narc silly actions! When they finally realize that my shadow is no longer behind them trying to figure it all out, they began to panic and try to break the silent treatment early than planned , only to realize I no longer give a Damn... If they were to fall off a cliff, I would gladly break my silent treatment just to say Happy Landings!
Is it hard to let it go tho?
Preach sis! I did this unintentionally amd the sileny treatment ended quickly. I eventually ended the relationship because i dont have time fie that level of toxicity and immaturity.
When he does the silent treatment I treat myself to the Chanel boutique!
Some times people need to be quiet, to recover themselves, and dont want lot of talking ,/conversing, for a while, but if they are doing it to make you feel like you've done something really wrong,and totally non existent, as control, and ignoring your issues,
- give them the silent treatment back and secondly- ditch them, let them do silent treatment to the walls.!!
Nobody deserves to be treated like that, if sharing a space, . Leave them tot themselves, - that takes away their power. !!
Rachel Craig, you're absolutely gorgeous 💓💓❤🌹and I will be glad to know you
I could never wrap my head around that fact that when I would apologize (because I would be desperate for communication) he would become LIVID and start to put me down and rein-still that I was to blame for everything. Everything you said made me feel less insane. I just couldn’t get it. It was mind-boggling behavior. Thank you.
I needed this I been in a emotional abuse relationship for 5 years. It’s time to go.
Beautiful Angel from Heaven.. Here to rescue us from Narcissism. 😍
I love the part where Michelle reminds that "anything you say can and will be used against you!" The narc lives by that! Great advice, Michelle! Just keep living a normal life as if you are unaware the narc is giving the silent treatment. I think the reason for the warning that the silent treatment will be cut short is that the narc is going to be really nasty. They didn't get their supply, after all. Thanks Michelle!
😜 only a malignant Narcissist can use an apology as more grounds for argument 🤔
Maureen, you are so beautiful 💓❤🌹and I will be glad to know you
Yes really nasty like a child when they don't get their way
*Don't be a psychological and emotional test dummy for the narcissist! The best method to use against silent treatment... is silent treatment. Be a narc survivor, not a narc supplier!*
Wow that's real thank you
“If I can create pain in you, then I have great power. Feel my power and weep”. Self love means not giving someone else that kind of power.
Wow. Mind boggling. Hit home. Thanks for sharing
Everyone listen to what she is saying! Knowledge dropped. I followed these instructions and the results were life changing. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! So needed this.
Thank you for this I just broke up with my narc she took all the things I loved away from me. I gave up all that I loved to do. Now I'm working out , riding my bike , and loving motorcycle riding . DAMM I FEEL GOOD
Dear Jeff, just do what makes you happy, do activities that make you happy. And when she comes sniffing 'round, show her a** the curb
All the best, Jeff.
Yes, all the best to you, Jeff. I feel your pain. I watched my narcissist sister destroy my brother in law long ago and at that time I wasn't aware completely of all of this. He has since died and I have such guilt that I never told him how sorry I was for following my siblings narcissism. I did manage to let him no that I thought she wasn't the kindest person, but I know that he suffered so much from having married her and she went around blaming him all her life. So disgusting! Choose wisely next time. Be very careful. Peace to you.
@@ruby-qv5bd sad story. Thx for sharing
thank you for the information. i heard this somewhere...when someone gives you the silent treatment...return the favor...walk away...close the door...lock it behind you and GO NO CONTACT !!!
And this is where I go wrong and end up hurt more.
I plan to ogbore them in return when tury come back but I reply instead....bc I care and thrir text seems genuine.
I have been in this long enough to know what’s going on in his mind. I went shopping today by myself and had a very good time with me. He can sit in his silent mood and rot if that’s what he wants.
Thank you and I know I am doing the right thing as I listen to you. He is he and I am me!
Me too!!! I can totally relate! I left the relationship and I’ve never been happier. And I never told him I was leaving.
That is a great point and tip!
I told him im going away on holidays though hes giving me the silent treatment that's ok, cause when I come back from holidays I'm going to plan my escape! =)
vivian anne I wish you all the best! Believe me you will feel so good about yourself. I am very proud of you.❤️
@@viviananne5073 naw, he's gonna stew the whole time you're on holiday so when you get back expect tsunami rage and jealousy.
Same here. But i face anger spamming and stalking from him
0:17 is the BEST...my Narc would be the happiest of all people on this earth with their friends, but with me...no sex for 13 months (maybe 30 times in 19 years and EVERYTIME I DID SOMETHING WRONG)), no dialogues about anything, no companionship. But, get her on the phone and she‘s everyone‘s best friend.
She actually said to me, „I have so much energy a day and I place that energy in relationships that help me. You and the kids don‘t help me. It‘s always need, need, need.“
After 19 years of this disaster called marriage, I‘m divorcing her and I can feel myself slowly waking up mentally like from a stupor. It‘s very refreshing to think I have a new chance on life, even though I‘m 47 years old with teenage children. I feel almost like a teenager myself. Feels fantastic. Thx for your video. It helps to know I‘m not crazy or alome. 😜
You found your courage, and entered self...good for you, power on...
Yes they have 'best friends and best mates' all around them...they need to keep up the supply....🙃
I feel
I would notice this too, so happy with everyone but as soon as he gets home his attitude would change. Im going through this now. I work long hours and havnt seen ot barely talked him in three days and on my day off he gets home late, doesnt say why and barely talks 2 sentences to me. He goes upstairs then calls his friend and talk and jokes for 1/2 hour about their day. I dont know why but something got in me and i got into a rage and told him why he doesnt pay attention. Next day i pull it out of him that i didnt offer him food when he got home but 2 years ago i got a plate of food for a male friend of my parents on thanksgiving at the request of my sister or mom, i cant remember, and he says i was disrespectful. He always redirects the arguements back at me and now we are not talking
CK1 was she sleeping outside though? ( sex wise )
I need him to think it was his idea to leave the relationship! That’s what I need....🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️😳😳
I told him: If I am so bad, then leave me. And when he says he doesn’t do it because he has “faith in you that you can change” then say: Oh boy, I knew you wouldn’t have the balls.
All these emotional predators only taught me that no one is that precious that I can't live without them. Everyone is free to leave. Once they do, the door is closed forever.
my ex kept leaving me and coming back every 8 months like clockwork! i took her back 3 times and everytime i believed her bcuz i loved her so much but its clear she is a narcissist and these videos have given me peace back to my heart that she loved to smash so much but never again because these videos have helped me to see exactly who she is and its sick and inhumane
Wow sorry that happened to you. I dealt with the same thing and my big heart could not handle that over and over again so I went no contact !!
That’s what my ex did to me and we been together 16 months but it’s been 5 weeks she’s been ghosting me and it hurts so much I don’t know what to do
ariyan fazeliyeganeh, brother, you gots to LEAVE! I feel for you man. It hurts like hell. I am a codependent for sure and have been with a nasty little covert narc for 3 1/2 years. Talk about HELL! She so hypersensitive to perceived criticism it’s like walking in egg shells around her. Anytime her fragile ego gets hurt out comes the silent treatment. I’ve told her how abusive it is to do that to people but, still her default. The narcissist does not empathize with your pain. Your an object to them so, your pain doesn’t matter. Nothing like having the person you love UN person you with silent treatment or ghosting you! I’ve chased and chased and after 4 split ups got back 4 times still, she never stopped the silent treatment. We’ve split for the 5th time a few days ago. She removed me from ALL social media, blocked phone, email, everything. I chased again but, after watching this video, no more. Enough us enough! I hate to admit it and it breaks my heart but, she’s definitely a covert narc. No empathy, never takes responsibility for her mistakes, refuses to talk about hopes, dreams, work, life, outside family (like I’m not included in her life) blames my emotional flashback responses to her continued abusive behaviors. A guy can only take so much abuse before he blows, and uses that as the excuse leave! If by some curs
e we got back together nothing would change and the cycle starts up again. It kills me to let go but, I gotta and you my brother gotta too! Peace to you.🙏
36 year marriage and the silent treatment would get my blood pressure so high.....I am amazed that it didn't end badly for me medically!!!! No remorse from him ever.....it was always me trying to fix everything. When I finally said no more.....he was the victim in my children's eyes!!!! Now I just don't care what the narc does any longer and I just go about my own life. I am single and living my own life.
Proud to hear that ur a boss
Be strong and continue to have a healthy life. Sending support through youtube.
Aida Hiser 25 years for me. I’m just getting out. These videos are coming at a perfect time for me. I don’t even think I’ve really grasped yet how much time I’ve been wrapped up in this. I was 19 when we met. I’m just piecing together how completely unhealthy I’ve lived for all this time. 3 years ago I started working on myself and in the process really have gotten healthy mind body and spirit and now the 2 of us are so completely incompatible. The toxicity no longer has a place in or around me. He has done the silent treatment on me constantly regularly over the past 25 years, name calling, berating, yelling, and never ever has let me get my feelings out with it flipping in to an argument. It’s crazy how much undue stress and anxiety I put me through. I wish I had left long ago. These videos and words are finally giving me the words and a reference to my situation that I never could describe or understand before. I felt crazy. You literally feel like it’s all you. Finally some clarity. I’m glad we’re getting out ♥️
Aids Miser I've been in my relationship for 25 years. I'm working on me. I'm going through the same thing with my children. Thank you for sharing and giving me hope.
This is so true ...and it is heartbreaking but, I'm so glad I understand what was going on. This is so helpful. This is day 5 for me, Im, hurting and sad but I refuse to give in.
Yes you can with self-love love. And doing what you like.
My malignant narc ex husband pulled the silent treatment on me and did not speak to me for five months and started speaking to me two weeks before Christmas so he would not have to spend Christmas alone. That was the first Christmas together after we married and we had just moved to his country where I did not know anyone and did not speak the language. I went through such horrific emotional pain at the time and he blamed it on being stressed over his new job. He used to pull me in and then discard me with the silent treatment over nothing. Three years into the marriage he tried a months long silent treatment again and i used that time to fire the psychologist who was covering for the narc and to find a therapist who would be there for me. By that time I was fluent in the language and had a work permit so I quietly looked for an apartment and I moved out two weeks before my birthday. I did not say a word to him about it since he was not speaking. The night before I left I told him i thought he should end the silent treatment because it was not productive. He said he had nothing to say to me. I moved out while he was at work!!! I have never been so proud of myself fo finally standing up for myself!!!
I’m in this situation right now, I feel like absolute crap. I’ll try this.
Wow this is awesome...you need to handle a narcissist like a narcissist... It works,believe me!
Lol
We need a video of this - 😂😂😂😍
True...
True
This is one of the best explanations of the silent treatment I’ve ever come across! Thanks sooooo much!!!!! What a blessing!
The silent treatment for the person ignored gives you a slight rollback when you used to be free to do and think as you pleased without interruption 👍🏽
The narcissist knows the only way to keep you under their control is by mental mind games. The silent treatment is a way of using a lasso around your heart and mind without them having to lift a finger. They can be in a basement or away for the day but they know it works even at a distance. It's a way of tying up your mind like a rope to a steer's legs like a helpless animal. I also believe they know your value from the start and everything they do is to devalue who you are. They have this fear that you will become the victor and champion all by your own merit. In a normal relationship you don't compete with one another but with a narcissist they will attempt to defeat you to your core. Your inward beauty and abilities threaten their stability, worth and fake persona. Such as; she is so much smarter than me, I'm going to make her feel stupid. She is so much prettier than I am, I'm going to make her feel ugly. She is so much more likable than I am, I will smear her name everywhere and make her the scapegoat. Their mind is saturated with jealousy and envy. I also believe that once their mind is given over to such extremities of darkness that evil does take over. They no longer need a reason to do what they do. Evil doesn't have a conscience, they do it for pleasure and entertainment to see you suffer. Not much different than those who reigned and ruled in Rome orchestrating spectator events in the coliseum. If we stand knowing our self worth we won't get roped around our minds to become a captive and vulnerable person to the narcissist's mental mind games.
Debra Wilson exactly!!!
Debra Wilson perfectly stated!!!
Yea becuz I want real penis attached to a REAL MAN of God's body in a healthly loving fruitful marriage like God created and intended it to be. Not some fluxing emotions n strange dreams n empty hopes. Can he become decent n normal with me? Well, if not God has my remedy. I cannot fret again n I can't wait much longer becuz Love is Everything...
Debra Wilson Excellent explanation of how "they" operate. I enjoyed reading your comment... it complimented this amazing video beautifully!
Debra Wilson I luv what you said it's all so true. This is me dealing w my fiancé for 8 yrs now Iam in the silent treatment. I been crying for days he doesn't Care
You have to leave the crazy person. I finally just had to leave the narc. It was hard because we got married but he was a nut who would never change. So I left and I only regret that I didn’t leave him sooner.
Good for you. Yep leaving is way better than staying.... Get out of the relationship as soon as possible.
How long were you married for before you got out?
Julia Banks blog.melanietoniaevans.com/1-reason-why-the-narcissist-wont-leave-you-alone/ do her do her course !!
I am happy that at list u were able to leave. Good things awaits u in Jesus name.
exactly leave them today is gonna be better than next year. save your time for a good
On the contrary, Michelle, They might increase the “silent Treatment” when you do these tactics, if they have already decided to Discard you. But your advice is still the best thing we can do for ourselves! Thanks for your teaching💖
These are the best days of your relationship. Spa days, retreats, whatever you need and it's so quiet.