How To Discipline A Teenager With Oppositional Defiant Disorder
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 พ.ค. 2024
- I know it's frustrating when you're trying to parent your oppositionally defiant child but they just won't cooperate. In this video, I'll teach you how to discipline a teenager with oppositional defiant disorder in effective ways that won't lead to power struggles!
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Watch and Enjoy!
Nicholeen Peck
Teaching Self-Government
Key Moments in this Episode
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00:00 Intro & Summary
00:47 What Oppositional Defiant Disorder Looks Like
04:02 What Not To Do When Parenting A Child With ODD
05:44 How To Discipline A Child With ODD
08:42 Where To Get The Best Resources For Parents
10:12 How To Teach Self-Government Skills To Children With ODD
12:01 Learn More About Parenting
What To Watch Next
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The Not-So-Known Secret To Parenting Success (Full Class)
• The Not-So-Known Secre...
Resources
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Get our Calm Parenting Toolkit here:
teachselfgov.com/toolkit
Learn more about us here:
teachingselfgovernment.com/about
Check out our upcoming events here:
teachingselfgovernment.com/ev...
About Nicholeen Peck
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Despite your best efforts at raising children, is your family dysfunctional? Do your children set the rules and have control of your home instead of you? Are you looking for parenting skills that will help you create a united, happy family?
Then meet Nicholeen Peck, one of the world’s most effective parenting experts. Whether you want to fix child behavioral issues, create more unity in the home, or simply strengthen your family relationships, her proven system - Teaching Self-Government - can help you turn chaos into calm.
"People are starving for help to save their families," says Nicholeen.
Since 1999, her seminars, workshops, one-on-one training sessions, parenting videos and books have helped thousands of families worldwide regain peace, be happy and maintain unity in their home. The secret? Learning how to use effective family systems based on parenting that’s deliberate and pro-active (instead of reactive). It all starts with the principles of self-government. If you’re a family of faith, you’ll especially love how your faith and values can be woven into her parenting system.
In 2009, Nicholeen and her husband starred in the BBC reality TV show, “The World’s Strictest Parents”. She became an overnight sensation by turning around two out-of-control teenagers from England after just one week - without shouting, threats or manipulation. Her amazing success comes from the positive parenting techniques of using calmness, effective communication and principles of self-government.
Nicholeen Peck’s Accomplishments
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* Author of “Parenting: A House United,” “Popular Parenting Methods: Are They Really Working?,” “Roles: The Secret to Family, Business, and Social Success” and many other books and magazine articles.
* President of The Worldwide Organization for Women (WOW).
* Nicholeen regularly speaks at the United Nations and other congresses around the world as an advocate for strengthening families and motherhood.
* In 2009 her family was featured on the BBC reality show, “The World’s Strictest Parents.
* Trained as a foster parent for Utah Youth Village.
* Has parented many troubled foster children.
* Successfully raised (and raising) four children of her own.
Testimonials
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“Her loving parenting techniques work with ALL children.”
Kristi, www.thankfulme.blogspot.com
“Thank you for your insights and solutions. They have helped my family so much.”
Michelle
“My husband and I have started implementing some of your techniques, and our house has been so different!”
Julianne
“I feel that my children respect me more. I will be eternally grateful for what I have learned from Nicholeen Peck.”
Michelle Baker
“If you want to forge the strongest family bonds possible, to repair damaged relationships, and redeem a child that seems completely lost, then this program IS for you.”
Sandra
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Nate Woodbury - TH-cam Producer
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#Parenting
#OppositionalDefiantDisorder
#SelfGovernment
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Here after the most horrible day with my 14 year old…. Glad I found this, I felt like I was about lose my mind!
This is exactly why I'm here. Why is 14 so hard. 😢
My daughter is failing high school. It’s gotten so bad, the school has started threatening us with fines and court because of her tardies and 1.9 gpa. Every time it’s presented to her, she doesn’t care and makes no effort to change. Now there is no access to the internet or phones. I am at a loss. This has been occurring since 4th grade and it never changes. Ever.
I work with an individual with autism that has ODD. My biggest hang up right now is he monopolizes space. There is never a quiet moment, especially in a car. He will talk and require your engagement. Constantly. 24/7. I don’t know how to get him to understand that he doesn’t have to talk the entire time. It results in a lot of repeat conversations that when I try to slow him down results in frustration or both of us. I’ve worked with him in the past an in between I feel like he regressed. He used to be able to understand some boundaries. Now he steps all over them and demands my attention constantly. I cant take a shower, pee, shut my door to change without him mor often than not knocking with the latest thought in his head. We spend so much time going in circles and repeating the same conversation over and over. I’m out of ideas to bring him back to being aware of others around him and respecting the space we all share instead of monopolizing everything. I need help!
I'd love to go more in depth on this question! Since it's too long to type out here, I've added your question to the list of questions I'm going to answer on my Support Call this Wednesday (Aug 23, 2023) morning at 8am Mountain time. If you'd like to be present for the answer and discuss it with me and have access to it after the call is done, here's a link for you:
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I hope to hear from you!
Has he been diagnosed and treated for ADHD and attachment issues? My redheaded adopted son has ADHD, ODD and attachment issues
My husband will not stop constantly fighting with my 7 year old. It's just constant. I had never heard of ODD until last month but that's is certainly what it's turning into....
My husband constantly fight with my 13 year old son which I heavily suspect has ODD. It creates a very disruptive house for everyone, puts a strain on our marriage and he wants me to be the one to "fix" it all. Apparently ADHD and ODD go hand in hand and the medication for ADHD can help with symptoms of ODD.
Your husband could have ODDCD (adult ODD)
@@rosiefogus7570 not sure which one of us you're talking to but I have had my husband make comments that he sees himself in my son, he is however not his biological child he is his step father.
I'm sorry to hear that! It sounds like they could both use some skills and principles and calmness. Here's a few links that could help:
teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/
teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/
There's hope and help available!
Yall give diagnosis, I've seen that they will do it at home and not at school 😮
Thank you!!! Just started listening!
You're most welcome!
I have been following you and find that what you speak is from experience. It would be so helpful if you would give some information about sociopaths and psychotic children and where to go to get help for them. I am involved with homeless people and also with women who are survivors of domestic violence towards themselves and their children. Your techniques are great when there is some form of respect in the relationship and both sides want to do better. However, the situations are already rather touchy and usually erupts to the point where the children or teens have to be restrained. I would love to find a way to present this so that things would change for the better. i have noticed from your videos you have had many children in your home and this works great. Do you have techniques to use in facilities other than homes for kids and teens who go back to foster care or the streets? Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Keep up the good work!
This is so helpful for dealing with my teen.
I really liked this video and looked at your site. It wasn't clear which course would be the most helpful for dealing with an ODD teen? Also your return policy stated that there was no returns accepted for digital items. Is there a way to sampke the course before making the purchase? I want to make sure it addresses my issue...an angry aggressive defiant teenager. Thanks
Hi Nicholeen. I have watched a lot of your video's and appreciate them very much. Do you or do you have a video about the loss of a parent? Or greif for a child? Thank you for whatever answer you give.
I don't think I have any video on that topic just yet, but I've added it to my list of video ideas.
What do you do when one of the "techniques" 14 year old boy uses is destroying our home? Ruining doors, breaking windows, holes in the wall, tearing out the hand-rail on the stairs. Hard to just calmly watch them and not react. I spend so much of my weekends just doing home repairs.
Our 15-year-old grandson has anger issues also. I just found this channel. Hopefully she will give some ways to avoid this before damage is done. We have some holes in the wall to repair as well.
My 16 yr old Granddaughter has been like this since she started walking, her sister would try to be the best big sister but she would get bit or pushed or spat at. It's gotten so bad in the last 5yrs ,she has tried to stab her sister and chased her into the bathroom where my older granddaughter locked the door for protection. She is great with other people but treats her family members horribly, she hates compliments, or praise. Were not allowed to talk to her till she feels like it. Everyone is wrong but her. My daughter and son in law give into her so they don't have to deal with her rage. I'm really afraid she will hurt them badly. A lot of this sounds like her but I believe when she turns 18 they will be able to properly diagnose her,she tried med's and she was such a wonderful girl but said they make her tired so now won't take them. I suggested that if she does attack her Dad or Sister that they should phone the police
It sounds like there is a lack of understanding of Roles in the family, as well as a lack of skills that are used and upheld consistently. Sometimes the police do need to get involved, but often it's a matter of being consistent, getting through the pushback period, then there's smoother sailing. It's something that parents have to be committed to, because it gets hard.
It also sounds like there's lots of manipulation going on, where this granddaughter is trying to control everything and everyone and succeeding. There are things that can be done here, but it would take way too long to type it up here. My book, "Parenting: A House United" teaches the skills and principles needed to address behaviors like this. My online course does too. Here are a few links, if it's something that interests you:
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/roles-hardcover/
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/parenting-a-house-united/
teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/
I hope that helps!
Are there places to send my teen that he can learn separate from me before reunification? He’s larger than me and my aunt I care for and he is getting more and more destructive and violent. His psychiatrist and therapist don’t seem to take me seriously. I’ve been documenting now to share with them. His father was abusive, and I left when my son was 1.5 and started therapy and Alanon with him right away, and he has always been a child that refuses rules and instructions. Even being kicked out of two preschools and numerous sports and extracurriculars. Now he doesn’t even participate in anything since he knows he hates the rules. I thought my husband was that way from his childhood, but I’ve given him ever option I can for him to accept help when ready. He just never seems ready. Now he’s scary. I think we need a break before we can fix this.
That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too!
If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information:
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
You can also look into my online TSG Parenting Course, which guides you through creating a foundation for a self-governing family and teaching adults and children skills and principles to promote logical thinking and calm, happy interactions.
teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/
I hope this helps!
So hard.😢
I don’t push back against everything infact I hate confrontation I literally won’t go downstairs to eat breakfast if my mom is downstairs I will wait until she goes upstairs if she goes downstairs while I’m downstairs I’ve figured out how to get myself upstairs and away from her without her noticing I’ve gotten so good at avoiding her she thought I ran away a few times and freaking me out not knowing why she’s freaking out
Also when I do get irritated it’s usually because of something dumb like being reminded to do a chore or when she constantly criticizes what I where makeing me feel like shit about my body and giving me eating problems as a result
Even then I get so mad at myself for acting that way that I cut myself as a form of self punishment cause I feel completely worthless there’s been times where I felt bad for even drinking water
Apparently I called the ministry because of my odd (that i haven’t even been properly diagnosed with by the way) and not because of emotional neglect or verbal abuse
I call bullshit
Also I always do as I’m told admittedly I do procrastinate on chores a lot but I do have adhd and struggle with moderate depressive episodes at times so I think I only get irritated cause chores can be really really draining for me but I push through even if it takes me four hours to do the dishwasher
and I rarely ever push to get my way I find it hard to even ask for simple things from my family like asking for new underwear or shoes most of the time
I don’t know why I’m writing all of this here I think it’s mostly for myself honestly which is stupid cause this isn’t a diary
I'm glad you felt comfortable sharing your thought and analyzation process with us here. I hope you can figure out what you need to!
If one did a case study of my family’s experience, it would show normal development, normal behavior in my son who is our 3rd child and was the baby of the family until he was almost 5 and a half when I became pregnant with #4. The afternoon after his 4 year old well visit with our doctor his arm swelled up and a fever spiked. The following day he had a full body rash that lasted 3-4 days, days later his behavior changed significantly. He turned from a very sweet easy going boy to a defiant boy when ever things did not go how he wanted or expected. I’m certain he was not born this way and I am certain that he did not have some emotional or situational trauma. I am a stay at home mom and always have been, he had been in my care for 4 years, so I am certain this change in behavior is connected to a 4th dose of common childhood medical preventative measure. Just wanted to share for those that may have a similar experience.
PANDAS?
Interesting! Thanks for sharing!
What if you have a spouse with ODD. My wife uses anger, manipulation, lying, and teaching the children to lie to support her story. She seems to threaten them with severe punishment if they don't agree with her version of a situation.
You sure it's ODD sure has and not NPD? Just a thought
That is quite the situation! The full response to your comment is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your questions on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too!
If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information:
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I hope this helps!
My husband has this too. Big manipulator and liar and fighter.
So my girlfriends 11 yr old boy that whines and throws tantrums, he does it everyday all day long, I need help or I’m just sick of dealing with this cuz he is showing all the other kids to be disrespectful. He argues and lies even after you check him in a lie. I’m over it. He is starting stuff with other kids and bullies them. How do I stop this before it ruins my relationship. Every time we show him what he is doing he deflects it and blames someone else.
Example. He is grounded and can’t watch tv or games. So our youngest was watching cartoons she is 3. He turned the channel on her 4 different times in an hour. After telling him to leave the room. He come back when someone is in the other room
It actually can be just one person.
Why do we have to call something a disorder just because it's a behavior we don't like? This really turned me off to this video right from the get go
Great question! I'm sorry you were turned off at the mention of it. I actually agree with you. Oftentimes, the things that we call disorders are just different ways of processing, handling, and responding to information. These processes didn't have names or labels 200 years ago. People simply adapted and figured it out. Now that we know that the brain processes in different ways with different people, we can address it in different ways. So, even though I use the popular label for these processing differences, I hope you can see the value of the information shared in the whole video.
It is not fair of you to describe a disorder simply as a behavior we do not like. The disorder in this video can be very destructive and ruinous to people's lives. Describing it as a disorder is better than describing it as abnormal. What would you suggest?
@@cinattraI guess technically it’s disordered behavior, for which, in my opinion, they are entirely responsible for.
As a parent with a child like this I’m trying to help my child help themselves and protect others.
I don’t think Nicholeen is trying to minimize their behavior. I get what you mean about bad behavior being called a disorder and how that sounds like a medical condition they can’t help this removing the blame. But I don’t think that’s what she’s intending.