How Oppositional Defiant Disorder Ruptures Families - and How to Manage It (w/ Dr. William Dodson)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.พ. 2022
- A central but often overlooked feature of ODD in children is the drive to thwart and defeat anyone in a perceived position of authority. This can make ODD a devastating illness for families. ODD treatment does exist, but it’s neither quick nor easy. In this hour-long ADDitude webinar with William Dodson, M.D., LF-APA, learn how to manage oppositional defiant disorder in children.
Download the slides associated with this webinar here: www.additudemag.com/webinar/o...
4:37 Why Haven’t I Heard of ODD/CD Before
6:18 In the DSM Category of Disruptive Behavior Disorders
12:21 ADHD vs. ODD
17:27 Don’t Kid Yourself That You Will Ultimately Win
21:10 Conduct Disorder
22:58 Are ODD and CD Different?
25:56 Genetics
30:50 BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT THERAPY
38:24 Medication Management of ODD/CD
41:24 Prevention of ODD and CD
46:54 Take-Home Messages
50:10 Q&A
Related Resources
1. Read: ODD in Children: A Parent’s Behavior Management Guide
www.additudemag.com/odd-in-ch...
2. Read: Will Anything Solve My Child’s Defiance and ODD? www.additudemag.com/oppositio...
3. Download: Free 2-Week Guide to Ending Defiant Behavior
www.additudemag.com/download/...
4. eBook: 9 Conditions Often Diagnosed with ADHD
www.additudemag.com/product/9...
Subscribe to the ADDitude TH-cam Channel: / @additudemag
Visit the ADDitude web site: www.additudemag.com
Follow ADDitude on Facebook: / additudemag
Follow ADDitude on Instagram: / additudemag
Follow ADDitude on Twitter: / additudemag
My daughter (now age 30) tells me I gave up on her when she was a teenager, but that's not what occurred. She claims I couldn't handle her "rebellious" tendencies. That's not what happened.
Her symptoms presented around age 10 & unfortunately progressed into conduct disorder. Several yrs were filled with truancy, lies, intentionally hurting her sister & me, no sleep for fear of her leaving or hurting herself or someone else. Anyone who's dealt with years of a child with these issues knows it's not the typical rebellion of adolescence.
My daughter & I have worked to have a civil relationship, but just recently she pulled her "crazy eye" card & started going on about me never caring for her or being there for her so I couldn't say anything about her leaving her kids. Btw, I never left her.
I've struggled to make the decision to keep her out of my life, but that means not seeing my grandkids. It's a very difficult decision.
When the speaker said ODD &/or CD destroys families, he wasn't exaggerating:/
My niece has a 5 year old son that has ADHD and ODD. They came to my house yesterday for Christmas and his behavior was so bad I had to ask them to leave. He screams at the top of his lungs when he doesn't get his way and destroyed my umbrella and then jumped on a bed and tried to pull down a ceiling fan and mini blinds. He had to be restrained 3 different times because of his out of control behavior. He is in Kindergarden and been suspended multiple times for fighting and head butted the teacher. He is on medication but he is still a handful. I feel terrible for my niece but I will not allow them over for family functions anymore. I can see where ODD destroys familes.
I didn't know that ODD was genetic until I watched this. Now I can easily see that my older brother has it. My mother hasn't spoken to him in 15 years. I don't want that to be the future for my child and myself. Can you please tell me how the ODD affected your other daughter? I do have mine in counseling, but I'm not sure how to help her otherwise. I know that she would go live with her father if given the chance, to get away from her sister. I do feel a little more equiped to explain why this is happening now that I've watched this video.
💖
Omg...is there a glimmer of hope or solution in this video?? It is very well done and extremely informative but not very fuzzy feeling for a parent who loves their child and wants the best outcome. It is a very defeated feeling. God help us all who deal with this. 🙏🏾
I am a Hispanic mother with a 19 year old son who has this condition. It is very sad and exhausting for the family to deal with a problem like this. I came to this video looking for information in English because there is not much information in Spanish as compelling as in English. Excuse my grammatical errors... but I just want to comment on my experience and what is happening with my son. Since he was little he got angry very easily, he got frustrated at anything. At seven or eight years old he began to have problems with anxiety, depression and panic atack. Seeing such a small child with all these symptoms is horrible, I couldn't sleep taking care of him, I hugged him all night because he was shaking from head to toe. He began treatment with medicines and therapy and remained that way for many years... he improved little by little in terms of depression and anxiety but as we entered adolescence... the behavioral problems with us began to be very constant. He was a child who got irritated by anything, he had a lot of problems with his older sister, he constantly blamed others and never accepted or accepts that there is a problem with him, he always says that we have the problem. By the way, he was also diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... because as the doctor explains in the video, 40% of children who have this also end up having this oppositional defiant disorder. In short, we have been struggling with this problem for several years, and for several years now it has refused to go to therapy I can't force him anymore... in the last therapies he said that it made him more upset, because I have realized that he does not have the patience to talk about any incident that happens at home with us, he never wants to talk or reason to fix the problems . It is derogatory to love times that you truly are our hearts, and we all feel so sad. He does not know that he has ODD, because a doctor who mentioned this to me only once, but he never diagnosed him with this disorder as such, I am the one who, searching and searching for information, found that he definitely has it.
He has already finished his 12th year and does not want to study anymore, and it has been very difficult for him to start working because in just three months, he already has his third job, I found out that he had a problem with one of his bosses, now he started a new job and is quite happy, but we are really afraid of thinking that he will have problems again and leave it, because as we have seen, people with this disorder are not very stable in their work.
Until now he has not fallen into any criminal behavior, we have always instilled good principles and good qualities in him. Sometimes I wonder if he still loves me, because many times he has no empathy with his family. But nevertheless he loves animals and defends them.
Sorry for the length of this comment, but I just want to send my support to all those people who are going through this situation, it is exhausting, it never ends... sometimes there are good days and other very bad days... my health has also deteriorated of so much stress and suffering that I have gone through. There is also someone in the family with this condition, his Dad but
But he has recognized that he has this problem and has allowed himself to be helped a lot. In the case of my son, that is not the case. He does not accept anything anyone tells him. Chris's comment catches my attention, where he says that even breathing makes him uncomfortable. He bothered his son. Believe me, sometimes that's how I feel, every day is a challenge, every day we don't know how he's going to be, how he's going to respond to us. It is very sad for me as a mother who has given him so much love, to accept that your son has a problem that he cannot control. It was very difficult for all of us here in the family to accept and understand that something really happens in his brain for him to act like this. Thank God we are all aware of what is happening with him, but it is still hard for us to be patient with him, ignoring what he says and does many times, while continuing to correct him when necessary.
I still have faith that I will find more help so that someone can guide me on what else I can do. I would like to sit down with him and talk to him about this condition but I am very afraid because I am sure that he will not accept it. I am now looking for professional help to guide me. In this process perhaps there is hope that one day he will accept that he is not well, and that he needs help. Thank you very much for listening to me and a lot of strength to everyone who is dealing with this problem.
Thank you for writing this, fellow traveler. You sound like a great Mom. What we can do, especially after they are adults, is sadly limited.
I know how you feel. ❤
My ODD daughter is also 19th. It's a bit late to train them but there's still hope. Apply the rest program ( you make the rules. For example, every day he need to maintain 3h phone usage + 5 chores + good attitude) to him and check every day. The reward might be late curfew or he can go out with friends in the weekend or money. I have to check her every day and keep the records. Review and talk every night. I know it's a bit too much but she did get improve after a few months fighting. I was about to kick her out of the house if she didn't follow rules. You need to be tough. Good luck.
Blessings to you and your family. This is debilitating for the entire family and YET you still love your family member. Pray and give to God.
I would be interested in hearing more about what happens to siblings raised with an ODD/CD sibling. This was a great presentation. Thank you
We have PTSD.
PTSD, mTBI, major depression, panic disorder.
@@madisonohare4012 parents also develop these symptoms. These kids terrorize all family members. I do mean terrorize to the max. There is never any peace. Walking on eggshells just waiting for the next explosion...you know it us going to happen just when it happens is unknown. The tension is palpable in every single second of your life...fear is unrelenting.
Untreated severe CPTSD, avoident attachment, being both the Parent child, Scapegoat, and the Glass child💔
My sister was never diagnosed with it but she had all the traits. Interestingly, she has a lot of the traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder now. Two of her kids have also been diagnosed with ADHD. Regarding what it was like growing up with her - it was like sharing a house with the worst possible bully. Everything she did was designed to undermine me and wreck my confidence. It left me hypervigilant and avoidant. The day she eventually moved out was the happiest day of my life. It felt like a giant weight had been lifted off my chest.
This is probably the best video I've ever seen on this topic. Thank you.
My son was diagnosed with ODD and I was talking to his therapist and found out that i have it too. My life has been hard... I want things to be better...
I just pulled my mental health records... I was diagnosed with this at the age of 12 and didn't even know...no one did anything for me.... now I know why... but I didn't even know 😭 now I'm almost 30 trying to figure out how to be a good mom 😢
update tho, i suffer from adhd and bipolar 1, cptsd and panic disorder 🙃
I send you alot of love I understand your pain .
You are a great mum just by the fact you are trying !!!!!!!
I hope you got some support too its important .
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@madamsticky2704 staying on your meds most important
at least youre self-aware and trying.. which is a feat in itself.
Me too rooting for you
Wow. What an excellent webinar. So much information presents so well. Thank you!
My great nephew is 5 and was just diagnosed with ADHD and ODD and was over my house for Christmas. I had to ask them to leave after he destroyed my umbrella and then jumped on the bed and almost pulled down the ceiling fan and mini blinds. He was at my house for 4 hours and had to be restrained at least 3 different times so he would not hurt himself or others. He is in Kindergarden and has been suspended multiple times for fighting with other kids and head butted the teacher. He screams at the top of his lungs when he doesn't get what he wants and is a nightmare to be around. I feel terrible for my niece (the mother) and she is a single mom.
Wow, this was an eye-opener. I have tried so many different ways to help my oldest son overcome ODD. He & his father seriously destroyed me to the point I started isolating myself in my bedroom & the moment I opened my door to go to the kitchen I had to be prepared for the wolves to come chomp away for any little thing they could devise. I used to say they would be upset with the fact I was breathing. I used to prepare meals in batches when they were gone because my being in the kitchen made them go into a rage. God forbid would I date to ask for 1. any assistance whatsoever preparing the meal, setting the table, grabbing a gal of milk or a single item from the store. I don't even drink milk but they do yet it's MY responsibility to monitor when our supply could be close to running out or both will go into a rage. God forbid would I ask any of the 3 boys living in my home to lift a finger to carry in groceries. That task is MINE according to these boys. I got sick of the fights they would try to start. I quit asking for anything from them because I'd rather save my sanity them have them rage over such petty tasks. My husband ensured they had no responsibilities of any sort around our home if MOM ASKED. Before my husband passed last year, he could get the boys to help him split up a teeny task he was responsible for which was not much. I am heartbroken to realize even the death of my son's parent didn't bring us together instead it tore us beyond further apart. Now all I hear is how it should've been me or constantly telling me to end my own life saying multiple times a day what a POS I am. Everything that's come out of my son's mouth in the past 18 mos is awful derogatory statements, swears terribly, makes me pay all his bills & only nice when he needs spending $. The worst is him being a pathological liar hence he wound up getting both my family & his crappy father's family to alienate us & want nothing to do with us. I feel like I live in hell & how much worse can it get? I fear he will take my life as he's made comments several times he will even purchased 2 guns (I had forbid having one in my home all my life). 1 of them is a multi round fast deal. He will beat me physically if I dare take them or hide them but I feel a mind like his really shouldn't own something like this. I don't know what to do but how could I live with myself if he chose someone else or multiple people instead of my own life 1 day? His state champ football strength overpowers my frail 85 lb body. My health can not sustain his toxicity for much longer or my body will give out if I keep losing like I am I'll suffer from more malnutrition issues. I've had some close calls from past malnutrition issues agitated by this stress + long-term stomach issues I've battled for years making it hard for me to eat without it coming back up min to hrs later. This is thru NO effort on my own part meaning I don't have an intentional eating disorder. My Dr wants me to put me in a nursing home but there's NO FAMILY family members nor friends left from our past willing to help me with my 15-year-old who has severe congestive heart failure. If he hadn't just lost his father + I worry I can't trust anyone to watch over nor provide the level of care I do as his mother. Plus his Cardiologist says any major stressor or huge change causing him to worry needs to be avoided due to his level (as in him going to a foster home). Since day 1 he desperately pleads we stay together & live in the home he's known all his life. That type of disruption/stress could negatively affect his heart if this drastic change were to occur. This son also suffers from other serious diseases we learned through genetics tests after his father passed being so young from the identical heart failure issues my youngest has. This particular CHF has been passed down at least the past 4 paternal generations. I feel like my hands are tied. If I were to kick out my oldest I fear that would set off a chain of events/ramifications that wouldn't be pretty to put it lightly. Dang this sucks no matter how you look at it.
Hello Chris, I understand your position. Like you, I too am in a no win situation. I am thinking of you. The thing that helps me is clearing my mind and hearing my positive intuition. Then following my intuition. I hope that this may help you find your way forward. With all best wishes Janine.
I’m worried about you now. Please, look after yourself.
Get out! Save Your own life as it has been rough it sounds like...get help. Be mindful of Your quality of life. Yoga, journal, Meditation and support groups. The gun is not safe in Your home so seek assistance from Your local police department on obtaining an order of protection, change Your locks! All of them! And get around healthy, strong, mentally mindful people. The doctor is spot on. He has told the Truth and it is necessary for transparency because folk who enable, coddle, and bury their heads in the sand about this disorder are not a support system for families who take them in unbeknownst to unsuspecting teachers, community leaders, and adoptive parents.
My god can I relate to this, I honestly think people with ODD suffer from growing up with parents that had undiagnosed/untreated mood disorders
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It's not right the way they treat you. If I were you, I'd find a way to get him to go to therapy, a psychologist & doctor to monitor his health. Keeping him busy with other people than yourself could be good for both of you. I know after my brother (who also has ODD) got out of therapy his mood seemed much better for a while at least. Unfortunately, you can't force mental people to do anything, so you'll have to convince him or trick him into going with you & having him join the therapy session. Going to see someone for you sounds like it would be less stressful than keeping it all bottled up too. If they are threatening you or themselves, it's best to tell their doctor & see what they recommend. The alternative would be to seek out a mental hospital that can actually help him. They have the authority to make them take medicine for their mental disorder. It's sad I know, but it IS in their best interest. If not then, maybe leaving the house would be a good idea. Just go to the park or mall/store for a while. My brother blames me for everything. I usually just ignore him & do other things. It's not even worth getting mad or upset about bc he'll just act as if he did nothing wrong after a few hours or day of not being around him. So why even stress about it.
I would really love to talk to this very intelligent man. I'm so impressed.
I’m 15 minutes in and this is completely devastating for a parent with a child with ODD. I’m overwhelmed and all I hear are all the terrible things a person with ODD does. I really hope the at some point there is some encouraging news from his mouth.
Wait until they are teens!
We help parents transform ODD through empowering and proactive parenting strategies. Please reach out for help.
@@BonnieandTomLiotta thank you! I just subscribed!
@@MelC123 excellent
Honestly I think alot of kids are getting misdiagnosed and really have P.D.A. (Pathological Demand Avoidance)I think they dont or can't tell the difference
Dr. William Dodson. Your explanation of ODD is the best 💯👍
Thank you both so much, this was extremely helpful & informative
in understanding this baffling genetic condition
Great Video , Thank you for bringing Awareness To A True Mental illness They Need To Recognize 🙏🏼
This feels like a classroom lecture and it’s making me miss school so much! Great presentation thank you so much!
You’re spot on. This is great. Very informative and educational. I can see how this will be effective.
Thank you so much for this video it's really beyond thankful
Exceptional presentation!
Great info, great presentation!
We adopted my cousin. She is 14 now. I knew something was wrong at age 3. I love her but I count the days until she's 18. I'll pack her bag for her. She can go live with ODD Bio mom or the many other relatives she has. Edit- I just made and appointment to discuss my daughter taking methylphenidate. Comment if you want an update.
Update again - I'm waiting on the meds. I looked up if ODD and allergies had a connection and this came up, Children having symptoms of allergic diseases within the past 1 y were associated with having all dimensions of symptoms of ADHD and ODD. Children with ever having a physician-diagnosed atopic dermatitis were associated with inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms of ADHD.Jun 2, 2016.
My daughter had eczema from the time she was tiny till age 12 she's now 14. I'm going to get her an allergy test before I move ahead with any new meds. I've also immediately changed her diet to a healthy cleaner diet. Again if you want an update comment.
This was so very helpful - thank you!!
I could have listened to all night!!!
My ODD plys child is now 43 years old......
Yes, my mither had serious behaviors.....
Nice to hear all the facts!!!! My OFD child disowned me years ago.
That explains why everyone told me it didn’t exist. they said was in my head when I was a child I have dealt with oppositional defiance disorder, my entire life I could tell you life with it is hard no one understands you except someone with the disability.
We still have it as adults
Very good video, one of the best, but we didn’t need a 4 minute introduction.
Great description of ODD. My new neighbor/cousin has ADHD, I’ve discovered lately from other family and observation, and there is a definite ODD going on. She is 66 years old and communication and neighborly cooperation is non existent. At first we agree on things to function by as neighbors only to be blown off, apparently forgotten about, and then she does things to get even with my concerns. Spiteful, Oppositional Defiance, and the last attack threaten setting our neighborhood on fire during fire season.
Thank you.
Thank you!!!
This was excellent. Thank you so much!
Working w ODD is SO frustrating. They challenge everyone. Their contempt and challenges to authority are unrelenting. No respect, entitled, rules don't apply to them, and a big F- you to anyone and everyone. It starts young and people wait too long to intervene until the ship has sailed. Parents who don't enforce consistent boundaries or limits and wonder why their kids are hell to deal with.
Sounds very much as NPD as well. Almost as if its the same and only the terms ODD and NPD is the difference?!
Amazing presentation! Thank you!
How can I obtain the slides?
Tough Love!
Last week he exploded at me for cutting the bread incorrectly. He exploded again because he wanted me to get a vegetable out of the fridge. He couldn’t recall the word, and said “long green thing”. A cucumber? Omg he went mental. Turns out he wanted celery. I can’t be around him anymore. I will end up crazy.
Stay strong! Be patient and take no thing personally. Planned ignoring! Clear limits! Avoid matching their negatives every time everywhere. Adult at all times for Your sanity. RTC and school has no affect on the behavior. Reflect to them their behavior is their behavior working for them? Rewards have no affect. Money remains untouched, taking away electronics doesn't bother them. Seriously seek support for Your humanity. Exercise! Avoid fermented beverages and sugary foods! Pace Yourself and constantly reflect back to the patient doc said is the behavior getting them what they want? Reserve Your strength. Is this a hill I want to die on. Pick Your battles. Be direct and business like. Less words. Blue fish, red fish, two fish. Keep it simple. Nutrition is Everything. Do not feed the piranha! No negative battles and do not acknowledge any negative comments ever.
I have exactly the same. Violence that won't stop, bruises over me, trashes the house, through paint everywhere, breaks thing's and he's 7. Feeling the same way.
@@claireolivia584 has he been diagnosed? Is he on meds?
He knows what he’s talking about
So helpful. Can you share the PP?
My mother has all this qualities
If ODD/CD is mostly or purely genetic, it would seem to me that these children were born with an extreme innate sensitivity to perceived threats and danger, causing them to have hair-trigger boundaries that are easily crossed. Like most children with ADHD, they may have a keen sense of justice. Ironically their insistence that others be fair to them usually means they disregard the perspectives and rights of others. Life is inherently unfair; their constant perception of mistreatment, even when they are the aggressor, is almost a form of psychosis, potentially precipitating low self-esteem and social isolation.
That is so spot on with my daughter. Everybody is so unfair to her, but she doesn’t see that she’s being unfair to others. She is 14 and this has been going on since she was four. I adopted her at four months, but I knew her birth mother. Her birth mother had some signs of ODD but of course it’s that time. We didn’t realize if that’s what it was.
What is the book called again you recommended to read??
My daughter had Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I have been raising my grandson since he was born. He is now seven years old and has Oppositional Defiant Disorder as well as ADHD. I have a team involved with him but I don't see it providing a solution for him to lead a normal life as an adult. Are there any research studies currently active that may want to research my grandson as he ages?
You are doing such hard work. I hope you find a solution
How do you present this to a newly-diagnosed pre-teen without it becoming a crutch? There is an older sibling, grown and flown, who is also ODD.
Can we dicuss DMDD?
Is it possible for a child to have ODD without having ADHD?? Could there be a personality disorder involved?
Of course. Usually I see it without ADHD
He discusses that in the video. He said there's only ever been a handful of cases where the kid had ODD but not ADHD. Also worth remembering that ODD is usually a diagnosis given to kids. Kids are never diagnosed with personality disorders - they will only diagnose personality disorders in adults. Nevertheless, there's some evidence that ODD leads on to personality disorders in adults, such as antisocial, borderline or narcissistic personality disorder.
My child of 11 has ADHD and ODD. What are the true chances of her learning a new language in order to get a proper education? Is this too much to ask of her with such a condition. She only displays ODD at home with me and she seems to care about what others think of her behavior out of home unless she is triggered to total disregulation. Is getting thru school learning a new language too much for her?
I would forget about any deep level learning UNLESS your child shows an interest in learning said language for example, and even then people with ADHD tend to switch hobbies and interests on a more regular basis. Please please please get your child a good doctor specializing in ADHD treatment, this is a chronic condition for most and it will not go away with time, medication may very well likely be your child's only choice if you want them to get a good education.
How can I help my 23 yrs old son if he was diagnosed with ADHD / ODD when he was 4 but as an adult would not accept it.
Where is the free R.E.S.T program pls? @35:33 pls?
I have been diagnosed with a.d.h.d but seems like I have signs of o.d.d aswell how do i find out or what should I do I tried taking add but still found it was easily irritated and still find I annoy other with highly sarcastic nasty comments amd when my partner has a go at me about something I've said to her I'll shit down and blame her I feel lost I'm also on anti anxiety meds but stopped taking my add meds as it wasn't helping my relationship but I find the anxiety meds help with my job
My husband has been diagnosed with major neurological disorder with behavioral problems.. He is 74 and has a family history of Alzheimer's. All of the symptoms disscrible, He shows ODD towards me. I am at my wits end. HELP!
I keep reading that ODD usually goes away after 3 years. What if my kid has had it from age 3 to 14 and she's only getting worse?
Interesting how you kept bringing up family member/parent with ODD "sabotaging" their ODD child. Stands out to me because my teen son's mom has some kind of mood disorder that progressed into anxiety and in other things (dont know for sure bc she doesnt talk in detail about it) and my son has ADHD and ODD. He constantly says that his mom is trying to "bring him down" and "sabotage" him even though they barely have any contact with each other and havent had any meaningful contact in years (due to a history of conflicts). He talks about it in the immediate tense as if these are things that are happening now. I know it sound schizophrenic, but we got that ruled out. Makes me really wonder about these conditions.
How is ODD different from Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)?
Yes I am wondering this also!!
33:35
This is also how you train a dog.
One thing i don't understand,
How some recover from this if its a genetic/d.n.a thing?
Also, it says that sociopaths are not born this way, so could it be that some of those with ODD/CD are actually psychopaths, who ARE born this way?
The Gene's are there...they get switched on by environmental, left my girlie dad, for many good reasons, my daughter of 11 is just like him even though she was 3 months old the last time she saw him. I was told. The trauma I experienced when I was pregnant with her was said to have caused a " hostile womb" perhaps causing those Gene's to activate.
That's how I understand it.
Its just awful. I was a guardian to a young child like this and I cant even explain how terrible it was. She was a terrible person, so hateful and vindictive with absolutely no personal responsibility. She was also capable of gossiping and roping people into dramas, at such a young age it was actually unbelievable.
I feel like a lot of people with odd might be misdiagnosed pda autistic, since pda isn’t in the Dsm they get the odd diagnosis instead
No chance at all of things getting better without medication eh? That is quite depressing to hear. I wish there was at least some vague advice for people who discover this later in life and don't have access to psychiatric help.
Dear god help me....
My partner of 20 y and struggling to prevent his sons developing the bad behaviour.
Fun wild twist is, I'm ADHD.
My little sister has ODD and it’s been a living hell.
No sound
This describes the background of many, many homeless people.
I these kids... people are tough to deal with but this doctor seems to have a disdain for them. Gotta remember these are our loved ones and we want to help them without going crazy ourselves.
I just realized my dog has odd
I just realized my state's governor has ODD.
as I'm watching...I'd like to add... tough love from my also, o.d.d. parent, did NOT work 💯
I’ve seen several therapists, psychologists etc say that they refuse to diagnose anyone with ODD and that it’s a catch all diagnoses used too often when there is an unruly child and they don’t know what is wrong with them. That ODD doesn’t exist on its own or doesn’t exist at all and there is always other mental health disorders involved. I’ve also read that it IS caused by upbringing, trauma and/or PTSD and is not genetic. So much contradictory information out there by the experts that I don’t know what to believe anymore.
ODD definitely exists, but it has farcically broad diagnostic criterion. If they made the criterion more expansive and specific like this guy does, it definitely deserves recognition. I was diagnosed with ODD as a kid using the very general APA criterion which fit me like a glove, but this guy’s criterion set, which is much more nuanced doesn’t fit me at all: I never initiated fights, I love animals/theirnwelfare is sacred to me, I did care if I hurt my family’s feelings, I had lots of friends and my family enjoyed my company and so on. The ODD patient sounds like an absolute nightmare.
PS - Maybe they’ve updated the APA diagnostic criterion since I got my diagnosis as a kid long ago to those list in the video. If that is the case, they’ve done well in developing a much better pathology guide.
@@The_ZeroLine when he was explaining fighting and animal abuse etc he was talking about ODD’s cousin Conduct Disorder. He also mentioned kids with ODD often also have ADHD, which has conflicting symptoms like feeling bad and caring what others think. That all made a lot of sense to me. My stepson was diagnosed with ODD and he fits everything this guy said to a T. However, most therapists around here don’t know much about ODD or don’t like the diagnosis so it’s hard finding the right person to treat him. I wish they would take it seriously here in the US so we can get him the help he needs.
@@El_B So, he fits the ADHD ODD profile or somewhere between that the conduct disorder end of the spectrum? I have some personal tips on what worked and what didn’t work for me if your son and I are anything alike. Sometimes you’ll find a nugget of gold from a stranger. Sometimes a lump of coal unfortunately.
PS - I was also diagnosed with ADHD in addition to ODD. After struggling into my teens(or in reality, not trying or caring), I ended up graduating with a 3.9 GPA from UCLA in the highest echelon program (a thing called the Honors Program which essentially equaled every class really being two classes squeezed into one semester). So, happy endings do happen.
@@The_ZeroLine that’s awesome! Congrats on working through your diagnoses successfully. It seems it can be a difficult thing to do. I would take any advice or tips if you’re willing to give them! My stepson has ODD and ADHD and is also starting to show some significant signs of CD now too. I’m super concerned for him.
In my experience, what the therapists told you I think is true. I was diagnosed with adhd and ODD as a child and really belive its from upbringing, trauma, controlling parent. It really is a catch all diagnosis and somthing I belived the therapist was just saying to provide a answer. Now I'm 35 my mom still brings up me having ODD and honestly just learned about P.D.A. (Pathological Demand Avoidance) and think that's what I really have, that and adhd mixture. Might be somthing to look Into imo
“Just to take the edge off of these snarling kids who are out to defeat you” 38:39
Gee doc, don’t let your real feelings about these kids show too much.
1 hr video and this is what you chose to focus on & reply with? 🤔🤦
@@chrisshurtz5541 absolutely. It was not a one time occurrence. This man spent the majority of the video showing his disdain for this diagnosis and these kids.
@@MelC123 I'm not being sarcastic when I say; if you can find compassion / patience in the face of such behavior *please* consider going into the kind of work the doc you're criticizing is in b/c no one has to be a bad person to react the way he is, but it's does take and exceptionally good person not to.
Just my experience.
@@bernicegoldham1509 as a parent with a child with ODD, I do not have to go into his line of professional work, I live it 24 hours a day. Because of this process, I have had to encounter and meet professionals who deal with ODD, and none of them have had the type of vitriol this doc has.
He spoke the Truth! They are up in Your face raging 6'3 218 lb Mount St Helen's charging at an unsuspecting administrative staff and educator who has only just met them day one of school and day two they're in active crisis minus any rational reason why the entire wellness of the classroom is hijacked by a person You just met unprovoked because You asked the class to open their book! No one was ready!
My Father in law is abusive, never take responsibility for his actions and does my ex husband too. My ex husband always blames me and never take responsibility for his actions Im afraid my son will be the same as he was recently diagnosed with adhd/odd/CD. Imagine my ex husbands is not helping with treatment and always blames me for our son's condition because I was diagnosed with ADHD. Lord please guide me
Kerri Rowe type knowledge
I rarely make comments, but... I listened to this a few days ago and it has bothered me so much that I feel I need to say something. You are talking about beautiful unique humans that are struggling with a disorder. Have some compassion and grace. For yourself and for these people that are trying to find their way in this life. Teaching self compassion, Minfullness and a wonderful therapy called Internal Family Systems for instance, would be a start toward peace for this struggle. Peace for families. Please stop calling them these negative names. You are a trained phychciatrist, you know better...Never ever is this helpful! Do better...There are infinite ways to do things. Be open
Thank you for your comment. I looked this up.
Geez god forbid people be direct… ODD is rough. These are facts. Get over it.
Unless you're going through it yourself, no. You have no idea what it's like and you wouldn't say this if you did.
I agree with Patti, this guy uses quite a lot of name calling and negative choice of words in his descriptions of the ODD person. To expand on what Patti said about these are human beings, let’s think of their families who love them beyond words and suffer the worry and anguish over their disorder every day.
Well how about you get these kids and raise them? Come back and report to us in a few weeks. These kids are a huge pain and a stressor to deal with.
Can a person (adult) with ODD & or CD modify behaviours if they become self aware in the same way that a narcissistic person can with long term therapy & a willingness to do so?
Apologies I typed that just before the 25 mins in answering the question. Thanks. Typical Adhd hazard 😂
I know you’re doing the best you can with what you know. But, I’m sorry, what you’re sharing is completely off the mark. Parents and children need and deserve better than this. There is hope and a way to completely transform oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder. We watch these completely misunderstood children transforming to the most kind, loving and cooperative children and teens. If you really want to help families, reach out to us and be open to learning a new way.
I need help with my 11 year old daughter. Where do I find you?
I am facing many ODD cases in young teens as a Counsellor. What resources do you offer?
unreal
God please help me.
"Mental r*****ation" is no longer the accepted term. The new term is intellectual disability. This was changed in the DSM-5. As a resource for people and the families of people with ADHD and related conditions you need to do better and screen presenters' slides for things like this. It's 2021 and people have been working to eliminate that verbiage since (at least) 2010, as it is linked to negative stereotypes against people with intellectual disabilities.
also lots of negative words describing children with ODD... "snarling" "nasty" etc. there is a movement to get rid of "ODD" as a label too: "Should We Drop the ODD Label?" - ADDitude
Sadly, it's a societal connotation because mental retardation is a medical term. The Latin root of retard means delayed. Unfortunately people use it as an insult but it really is a general medical term. I am the parent of a child with ODD and I 100% agree with nasty, hurtful, inconsiderate, mean, ungrateful to describe my son, at times. Everyone is too sensitive and needs to be placated, that's one of the reasons my son got worse. I was going through trauma myself and I just gave him whatever he wanted and gave in all the time when he was little so he has no frustration tolerance and no respect for boundaries.
My daughter and I have suffered but now at 12 years old I am done. He's my size already and I really buckled down because I will not live with psychological abuse from my own child and my daughter deserves better. He does not seriously threaten us physically because he knows we're two crazy bit¢hes and I don't care if he's 10 ft tall, I will take him down if he tries to hurt my daughter, my pets, or I. I don't want to hurt my child but I will defend myself.
@@kinglegacyog9786 I ask parents of kids with ODD to please not forget about your other kids who basically get traumatized by all they’re experiencing. My friend has a 14 year old ODD son who kicks and punches his 16 year old big sister. I’ve seen her with bruises and a black eye. For some reason, they treat this son by giving him whatever he wants and therapy but no therapy or gifts for the poor daughter. He rages for hours and calls everyone every name in the book. I happened to be over there and finally heard the girl defend herself: “leave me alone, a**hole!” Her single curse word was immediately reprimanded and she was grounded, while the sons’ fountain of profanity continued unimpeded.
@@strnglhld that is awful. I updated my comments above to include a little something about that. My son tries it but I stopped him in his tracks because if not we're brawling or cops will be called. I will not tolerate threats and abuse in my own home. I feel so bad for the girl you mentioned. And the parents are doing neither one of them any favors...
Hi Matt
Whilst I believe your intentions are good in raising this point. We need to be careful not to delete labels and descriptors that are beneficial in defining an issue or clarifying a diagnosis. When we don’t label enough or the language is too generic, it can mean that people fall through the cracks and dont receive adequate assistance or healthcare.
How can you say confidently this isn’t caused by childhood trauma or bad parenting? Surely a child abused and neglected by a caregiver is inherently not going to want to listen to that authority figure.
I can say this confidently by personal experience. I'm sure there's a few exceptions
I can say that it’s not parenting or trauma…but genetic? Yes. Parent diagnosed with adhd. I witness a child not thinking. They are wired such that they flip into fight flight and logic turns off….honestly seems meds are required so brain can function…
Generational trauma?
My daughter had no trauma. A dancer , given everything, supported , loved spoiled even . It physically hurts her ears when someone says “ no” . She’s 20 years old and a mess. She can’t hold a job , fights with boyfriend all the time because she’s never even a little submissive.I don’t know what to do with her.
He covers all that in the video if you actually watch it. He talks about how there are other things which look very similar to ODD, including being brought up by overly strict parents. He also mentions how studies in the Netherlands have shown that kids from 'true' ODD parents who've been put up for adoption get ODD, even though they now have different parents, so true ODD is genetic.
The problem is caused by parents who don't respect a child's emotional boundaries and rights. The problem lies with the parents not the child. The childs behavior is the reaction not the cause. But few parents have the emotional maturity to entertain the idea that it could be their behavior that is causing the child to be defiant.
I feel this is very negative.
Truth is sometimes negative
Your feeling feels correct...
This is totally negative and inappropriate
Your hatred oozes through your voice.
That’s not judge mental at all 🤷♀️