Paddy pickpocketed two people, hired several hitmen, attacked several people, burgled two peoples houses, stole two cars, killed one person during work with his teeth with several witnesses. He goes to court for assult for biting a biker and *gets away with it* . My character pinched someones arm at age 13 in primary school and she got arrested on the spot. No one would hire her after that.
The Life of Ciara: When Ciara was in college she met a man who had just come out of a long relationship. They got to know each other better and one day he proposed. After they married they decided to start a family, but Ciara lost the baby. After that she started noticing her husband becoming more distant, more secretive. He didn't talk about work and he was always with strange men. As the years went by he worried about him and, after getting into a fight about his gambling problem, asked if he wanted to try again. She had another miscarriage and realized that she had wasted her life. She didn't trust her husband and decided she needed to follow her own path and free herself from him. She asked for a divorce and he attacked her, she defended herself and ran away to start a new life. One day as she was walking on the street with a man she had just met someone walking toward her pulled out a futuristic looking gun and shot her, then fled. The man she was with called the police and went to her side. As she bled out on the sidewalk she knew her past had caught up with her, Paddy had found her. She died minutes later.
For everyone asking where he is look at his twitter guys. He's been sick as hell and needs some time to recover. Jack, you're doing amazing sweety! Look at you taking time off for yourself! We're proud of you! Hope you feel better soon!
@@elliestarkey6730 I don't either lol but if you click on his twitter link in the description box you can scroll his twitter feed without an account thankfully. Just can't interact with it. And no problem, I didn't think some fans might not know they could still check it without an account so hopefully I helped lol
For everyone wondering Jack does not have the Coronavirus that anyone knows of, he just got food poisoning he posted “I'll be back to videos soon. This was the sickest I have been in probably 15 years. I'm pretty much all clear now but taking it easy for a couple more days, just to make sure” On his Twitter.
In BitLife I went on a murder spree and killed everyone my character knew, all his family and friends he escaped from prison countless times. And then he got sentenced to death by electric chair
I love how this series went from him trying to get Paddy a girlfriend and a job to hiring hit men to kill his coworkers for farting and not talking to him.
Jack: *Murdering all of the co-workers* Jack: "Hey let's talk about random stuff" Evan: * Drowning in work cuz office is drastically understaffed* Evan: "Naw, I'm too busy." Jack: "HOW DARE HE!!!!!!"
Anti: I WANT TO KILL JACKSEPTICEYE jack: hires Hitman to kill almost everyone that wronged him Anti: I always encouraged jack and I'm really proud of what he is now Edit: thanks for 753 likes everyone!
How long before Sean realises that the hit men are not refusing to kill certain people, you just can’t keep on killing multiple people in the same year. Just age up a year and book in the next hit!
Cheryl Vollen definitely not. My childhood was pretty much ruined by them and I ended up getting kicked out for not wanting to live anymore a few days after turning 18
Nobody: Jack: *does the intro* Me: "The clap of his ass cheeks alerted the guards!" Edit: Damn, this is the most liked comment I've ever gotten. I usually only get around 5.
Jack: Im such a cool dude,
Jack: Murders everybody-
Jack: ....Hitmen wont even come within a mile of me anymore-
32
hey jacksepticeye, please play or wild of wisps!
Jack: loses a lot of money in a casino
Also jack: can i hire a hitman to kill the casino
Need a small army for that trainwreck all the security theyd have and all the money hed need shit no person alive could afford it 😂
Well the hitman will just give up quit kill jack:-:
@Andu Viljak you got a heart
"I am dangerously close to bankruptcy, therefore i should BUY SOME STUFF!"
Absolutely brilliant.
*Big Brain Moment*
YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ITS BIG BRAIN YOU SHOULD HAVE
Yoda reference there
Stonks
Not stonks
Outstanding move
Jack when dating a police officer: “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”
@@tonikyle5453 Don't ask me, man.
@@romansans1 did you just reply to someone who replied on your 8 month comment? That’s pretty pog
@@isaiahthomas9817 Yeah man, I don't see why not lol.
-sun tzu
his half sister is also chief of police 😭
Jack: “I’m dangerously close to bankruptcy.” Also Jack: “Maybe I should buy some stuff?”
Felicity Spruce if you have almost no money spend the rest on your money
Upgrades people upgrades
He should BUY money!
Lol so true. 😂🤣
@@fluff2713 true. True.
Jack: I'm gonna hire a hitman to kill my ex wife.
Hitman: *Kills Ex wife*
Jack: *Surprised pikachu*
Red green pikachu
It's because recently he had been denied the kill.
Damn man that's deep 😆
Check the latest comment
Random 3 year old: doesn’t say thank you after Jack holds the door for them.
Jack: *calls a hitman*
*lemme get le ray gun!*
That's the Faddy Fitzpatrick way 😎😂
You are so wrong he would take the silenced pistol out of his boot and shoot the kid in the head
Lemme get my knife
@@johndrie3491 faddy lol
“Can I kill my anxiety with a hitman”-jacksepticeye
AGENT 47,THE BEST MAN AT EXPUNGIN' HIS ENIME-
A Hitman, going by the name “therapist” killed your anxiety with a nice chat
Some poor old bloke: *breathes*
Jack: “ HES FLEXING ON DEAD PEOPLE, HIPPITY HOPPITY YOUR LIFE IS MY HITMANS PROPERTY”
Outstanding move
maudi HD ui
Arham
I
K
Hitman: no we won’t kill your stepfather
Jack: *fine I’ll do it myself*
*Age : Fine I will do it myself
**Diabetes: fine I'll do it myself*
Alzheimers: *What were we doing again?*
Diabetes
Jack: “Can a hitman kill my anxiety?”
Absolutely brilliant.
*nervous virgil noises*
well boys we did it, anxiety is no more.
Me at all the time
Can a hitman kill coronavirus
Azsum Chovek maybe I hope
father: dies
stepfather: dies
jack: CAN YA FEEL IT🕺🏾
XD
....this did not age well.....
@@cartergrandison786 no it did not...
@@cartergrandison786 neither jacks dad lol
rip sean’s actual dad :(
Sean: stubs his toe
Sean: **hires a hitman for the wall**
Why the fux you walking directly into a wall for? Lmao.
@@shavy7734 cuz he wants the hitmen
shavy r/whooooooosh
It’s Hazza r/ihavereddit
It’s Hazza r/ihavereddit
Jack: Why can’t I bite his skull?
The biker wearing a helmet: I came prepared.
Oh yeah I didn't think of it that way I guess that's why the option wasn't available
I love how there was an option to bite his balls!
@@poodids6348 *_kinky_*
@Telly Phillips no
"Ciara's lookin' down from..."
**pauses**
**looks up**
**abruptly looks down**
"HELL."
Wholock Fandom that’s the joke
17:04 - _"I umm, I... fell down some stairs!"_
_"Sir, this is clearly a stab wo--"_
*"I FELL DOWN SOME STAIRS!!"*
🔪🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸
💀
_"shut up before I throw you down a flight"_
he fell on his lunch
17:14 is said you practiced safe s*x
hey jack, here's a tip: everytime it says that no hitman wants to do the job, it's because you can only hire one per year.
Jack: *hires hitman to kill his ex-wife*
Evelyn, Jack's girlfriend: *sweats nervously*
Wiishu, jack's ex: *panik*
It was paddy
Wait he has a girlfriend
@@lostcolonyforge5792 yup
@@lostcolonyforge5792 And if she breaks up with him, he'll hire a hitman to kill her.
Jack: “Why won’t anyone kill my stepdad”
Me at the dinner table: **franticly untangles headphones**
My mom: “Gimme your phone”
Why are you wearing headphones at the dinner table
ITSMONKEY360 why not?
ITSMONKEY360 why not luv?
Not.Weird _She is fair enough
@@leostqrs funny comment! 😂 Edit: i send my positivity and love to all of you out there and hope you have a great day!
Paddy pickpocketed two people, hired several hitmen, attacked several people, burgled two peoples houses, stole two cars, killed one person during work with his teeth with several witnesses. He goes to court for assult for biting a biker and *gets away with it* .
My character pinched someones arm at age 13 in primary school and she got arrested on the spot. No one would hire her after that.
My constant achievement in this game was Jailbird.
Reminds me when I tried to kill somebody with a atomic wedgie, I got a life sentence.
WOW. THAT FREAKIN SUCKS.
3 cars*
Dude…
Jack: “goes on a killing spree and commits several crimes”
Also jack: *gets a cop girlfriend and then proposes to her*
Sounds like fucking Dexter 😂
@@elijahstone3285 it does tho...
Lol
True MAN
His sister is also chief of police before he moved to Perth.......
Jack: "I am running dangerously close to bankruptcy."
Also Jack: "So maybe I should buy some stuff."
*Yes but also No*
Satan Lol me on a weekend
@@Flower_pot2807 If I understood I would reply.
Satan why to do u have 800 subs and I only have 90! Wtf is this Satan you making deals with the devil?!
Satan are you the same person on twitter? (i think its twitter its probably not)
He just said that at the same I read this 😂
"A Hitman steals Jack's money"
Jack: Can i hire a hitman on a hitman?
"No, no, wait he's got a point"
*INSERT MEME TEMPLATE HERE*
Haha haha very funny I laughed hard
WHY
- Jack 2020
*A HITMAN HITMAN*
Jack: “Oh no! My wife suffered another miscarriage and lost the baby!” :(
Also Jack: “Oh well, Let’s hire a hit man!”
Paddy’s answer to everything
“I need a hitman.”
"Can I kill my anxiety with a hitman."
Me too Jack... Me too...
I wish
If we have meme time to cure our sadness- maybe there could be wholesome meme time- ease our anxiety
moral of the story: divorce makes you a millionare
Chase Brody Disagrees
Only if you're a Billionaire
Jeff Bezos already knew this. 🤦🤦🤦
Thanks I divorced my wife
if only...
Paddy Fitzpatrick signature move:*BITES SKULL*
Paddy Fitzpatrick finishing move:*BITES MOUTH*
Jack: why does nobody wanna kill my step dad
My mom: What the hell are you watching
Do you have a step dad or?
LOL
lmao
That was literally my mom just now
Your mom must be furious then
"WHY DOES NO ONE WANT TO KILL MY STEPDAD?"
"I want to murder my stepdad!"
.
.
.
.
.
"God this video is full of bad sentences."
Sean should have just hit up Eminem for that one
@@Aura_Broz I'm so happy someone said it! Everytime jack talked about killing paddy's stepdad I thought of "stepdad" by eminem.
Hello
@@brooklynmclarnon3267 Hewwo UwU!
UWU what’s yo snap
The Life of Ciara:
When Ciara was in college she met a man who had just come out of a long relationship. They got to know each other better and one day he proposed. After they married they decided to start a family, but Ciara lost the baby. After that she started noticing her husband becoming more distant, more secretive. He didn't talk about work and he was always with strange men. As the years went by he worried about him and, after getting into a fight about his gambling problem, asked if he wanted to try again. She had another miscarriage and realized that she had wasted her life. She didn't trust her husband and decided she needed to follow her own path and free herself from him. She asked for a divorce and he attacked her, she defended herself and ran away to start a new life. One day as she was walking on the street with a man she had just met someone walking toward her pulled out a futuristic looking gun and shot her, then fled. The man she was with called the police and went to her side. As she bled out on the sidewalk she knew her past had caught up with her, Paddy had found her. She died minutes later.
Jaesus. I think my last BitLife may have been Ciara's if that's the case...
rip
Jesus Christ dude
Futuristic gun.... You lost me there... Lmao
You forgot the part where she cheated on him
“Can I kill my anxiety with a hit man?” This is such a quarantine mood
Wtf, this is the top comment with 0(now one) replies and 5 likes
@@angrymandanthecommenter I think it's because they're a member
@@jimmilton8333 ahhhhh, I see
Bit life: Your suffering from depression
Jack: It's meme time!
Sashan Vandayar good one
The only cure for sadness
Ur a patreon
@@superuanted1208 no shit sherlock
you're*
“Faddy Fitzpatrick”
Now that’s not very nice Jack
“All this murder is making me hungry”
-Jacksepticeye 2020
Hmmm, Cannibalism?
Gacha is still relevant?
Unbelievable Jello I guess so
Jeffrey dahmer would like a word with you jack
@@Chordny whats gacha?
Did anyone notice that whenever Jack tried in vain to “hitman” anyone, it just said: I had diabolical thoughts.
Someone: *farts*
Seán: *calls hitman*
They deserve to die for polluting the air
Thank god there’s amazing comments like this when we have all the self promoting bastards
Lightning Strike so everyone deserves to die
@@IA0544 only if they are caught😁
Jacksepticeye: Said he would never hurt a single human being
Also him: hires a bunch of hitmen to kill everyone
Technically, he isnt the one hurting them...
Still not physically hurting anyone tho apart from that one person he bit the skull of tho
I mean His half-sister is the chief of police lol.
Lol
@@Aura_Broz but he did also kill somebody by biting their skull.
Jack: Kill this person.
Hitman: *No, I don't think I will.*
Jack: *Fine, I'll do it myself.*
**Bites skull*
Jack: "I wanted to prank him not ruin his entire life"
Also Jack: "let's kill him"
"I inherited 808,000 euro?!"
"AND MY STEPDAD DIED"
"Can you feel it, can you feel it, can you feel it, doo doo doo, doo doo doo!"
"I'm running close on bankruptcy, maybe I should buy some stuff!" - JackSepticEye 2020
UltraGeo that is indeed the content of my comment
Lol
Jack: Bites his tongue
Every single person in his community: "Also Jack: hIrEs hItmAn fOr mOutH"
Bit his tounge like he bit his co worker's skull
Yes
Paddy “ Oh wow, my dads both “accidentally” died. How did that happen 😏.”
His mom “👀😐😶”
didn't his mom like die at age 44
Me: "hmm, Jack didn't upload a video today"
TH-cam One minute later: **jacksepticeye has uploaded a video**
Same here 😂
Internet:30 year old found dead
I think still old video like last week ago look at challenge ghostbusters. Yesterday bitlife new update luxury stuff.
So TH-cam on crack again. Uploaded one minute ago, comments 7 minutes ago. Makes sense
Jacksepticeye: runs out of money from buying hitmen
Also jack: I'm am once again asking for ur financial support
Jack: "Can I kill my anxiety with a hitman?"
**nervous Virgil noises**
Dont worry, Virge. You have a protection squad to keep you safe.
Nice seeing Sander Side fans here
Liar! Virgil would never pass up the oppurtunity to die >:v
@@ivyg1515
I believe you mean FALSEHOOD!!!!
Ivy G :O You’re right!
*Ahem
*DEcEIt!*
his sister: *chief of police*
patty who has committed at least 10 crimes: i’m gonna pretend i didn’t see that
Me: *eating pancakes and minding my own business*
Jack: *looks me straight in the eye* "I wanna check out Uranus"
For everyone asking where he is look at his twitter guys. He's been sick as hell and needs some time to recover. Jack, you're doing amazing sweety! Look at you taking time off for yourself! We're proud of you! Hope you feel better soon!
at least he didnt get the coronavirus....hope not
I dont have Twitter oof so thank you for letting us know
Alright, good. I was too lazy to check Twitter lol
@@elliestarkey6730 I don't either lol but if you click on his twitter link in the description box you can scroll his twitter feed without an account thankfully. Just can't interact with it. And no problem, I didn't think some fans might not know they could still check it without an account so hopefully I helped lol
@@NewNicator valid point lol
Jack: "I am wildly upset I can't kill Evan"
Me(an Evan):*sad boy noises*
well you’re not dead so take that as a win
miss chicken fingers not yet...
Jack: it’s time for my signature move
Me:oh shit
Jack: I can’t bite his skull
Me: thank god
Jack: you know I will bite his lip
Me: damn it
For everyone wondering Jack does not have the Coronavirus that anyone knows of, he just got food poisoning he posted “I'll be back to videos soon. This was the sickest I have been in probably 15 years. I'm pretty much all clear now but taking it easy for a couple more days, just to make sure” On his Twitter.
Oh that’s why
Thank you for this I was wondering where he had gone to.
Omfg, thank you ruffle
Well that answers my question
Off to delete my comment
RiffleChipz Thanks for the update. Get better soon Jack.
Someone: *literally just farts*
Jack: ”HITMAN!!!!!”
@@aalievanderplaats5406 So you have chosen death...
@@afrokween8752 i got this one! 🔫😈
Please deposit 1 like = $1,000,000
👇😉
Somebody: *sneezes*
Hitman: ''Ah shit, here we go again''
I'm more invested in Paddy Fitzpatrick's life then my own.
"my happiness is down to 10%" is a great meme template.
Jack: *Sneaks out of jail*
Guard: *heard a clap*
Jack: The clap of my intro had alerted the guards!
(Metal Gear Solid Alert sound intensifies)
Jack: "WHY DOESN'T ANY ONE WANT TO BE MY HIT MAN:
My dad: *shakes head in disappointment, as he's already use to this*
Thats a joke, right?
@@Omniternal The world will never know
@@Omniternal shush my darling. Some things shall be left unanswered.
Jack Barker sure let’s go with that
*Jack:* Can I kill my anxiety with a hitman???
*Me:* No, you kill it with meme time...
Oh my gosh yes
In BitLife I went on a murder spree and killed everyone my character knew, all his family and friends he escaped from prison countless times. And then he got sentenced to death by electric chair
electric chair? YES I WANT TO BE THE FIRST !!!
sounds like call me kevin
Really?
So they finally added death sentence
Before you used to go to prison for 100000 fucking years lmao
Vinder Alexander to be fair though in real life you can be sentenced way longer than any human should be able to live
Vinder Alexander - It depends where the country is and whether they have the death sentence or not
Has $41k in the bank.
Sean: " I'm dangerously close to bankruptcy."
My bank account: "Am I a joke to you?"
Patty’s two fathers die
Jack: “Can you feel it, Can you feel it!”
“And my stepdad died” three seconds later happiness at 0%
Dam bit life is wild
I love how Jack play this game slowly to extract it into episode while Im here playing this game murdering everyone on the game aging them to death
Jack: All this murder is making me hungry!
Also Jack: *keeps biting people's skulls*
Me: You sure?
i am better then howtobasic
"I INHERITED 808,000 EURO AND MY STEP DAD DIED!" 😂😂 I never thought I'd heard someone so excited about someone dying
I know right xD
He went from 📉📉📉 to 📈📈📈 when he inherited the money and his step dad died. I could even feel his happiness through the screen
"It's me. JackSE-EHPticeye"
Best voice-crack ever
Jack: pays hitman to kill his stepdad
Hitman: *No, I Don't think I will.*
jack: “does it really count if he didn’t do it himself and he just told somebody else to do it?”
charles manson : 👀
Help The SheepishTitans Overtake TH-cam
I love how this series went from him trying to get Paddy a girlfriend and a job to hiring hit men to kill his coworkers for farting and not talking to him.
Other people: please consult your doctor
Jack: please consult your hitman
@Telly Phillips whats that ?
Jack: *Murdering all of the co-workers*
Jack: "Hey let's talk about random stuff"
Evan: * Drowning in work cuz office is drastically understaffed*
Evan: "Naw, I'm too busy."
Jack: "HOW DARE HE!!!!!!"
Anti: I WANT TO KILL JACKSEPTICEYE
jack: hires Hitman to kill almost everyone that wronged him
Anti: I always encouraged jack and I'm really proud of what he is now
Edit: thanks for 753 likes everyone!
Definition of "almost": everyone except for his stepfather because no hitman dared to even lay their gaze on him within 10 miles
😂
What an inspiration
YES
Glitch Trap
So I play fortnite and I’m grinding really hard and I’m 15 if you could check me out appreciate it I’m a smooth player thx ❤️
11:05 Jack: I bet Cara’s looking down from hell...
U do know what that means, right?
Hell is above
Anybody: *breathes*
Jack: oh so you have chosen *death*
Anything exist
Paddy: so you have chosen death.
Lmao
Did the Irish Minecraft collab turn Jackaboy? Because I don't remember him hiring hitmen before that.
Jack: *inherits 800k euros and becomes really rich*
Also Jack after becoming rich: 13:11
Dragon Ball Reversed jacksepticeye logic
10:38
"He died of diabetes"
My mind: *H e d i e d o f b e t e s*
I have the beetus, and I find this hilarious
GuyFromSomeWorld aAHSHSHS
😂😂
I CAN'T BREATHE 🤣🤣🤣
Jack: looks like he's coming up into his beautiful 50s.
Also jack:so plenty more time to kill people.
Me: playing bit life
Jack:"The methods of murder are so nasty."
Me and jack at the same time: "elephant laxatives?"
The Random editor tEm
The title sounds like one of those “Actually happened” stories
*_Lights a Cigar_* "They're all lies!"
I fucked my dog then the dog fucked his child's children
my dad divorced and gave me a secret juice and then i became wolverine
Meow (I had sex with my step sister but she’s really my real sister)
OML YESSSS
Game: You're suffering from anxiety
Jack: "Can I hire a hitman to kill it?"
LMAO 😂. But honestly though, wish I could do that.
Maybe you could if you hired Doomslayer
He can kill literally anything
Hay jack it would be grand if you lived a happy with your wife so dont murder people behind her back
Dragonmaster76 Can he kill Kratos?
You can you get rid of yourself and the anxiety is gone
@@leilachu Damn dark lol
When someone hurts Jack’s feelings:
Jack: “So you want to die”
Also him “rhetorical question”
How long before Sean realises that the hit men are not refusing to kill certain people, you just can’t keep on killing multiple people in the same year. Just age up a year and book in the next hit!
Probably never.
Jack: Im nealy bankrupt
Also Jack: has 41.000 Dollars in his bank account
Joline Petram my back account “. -102871
they're euros, not dollars you fucking American
@@jbmst1450 he used a dot instead of a comma, he isn't American. We tend to use commas to denote the separation.
Also Jack: lets go buy some stuff
Why’d you put the 0s on the end of the 42 dollars
Jack: “why does nobody wanna kill my stepdad?”
Me: I ask the same thing about every step parent I had.
So I'm not the only one...
good to know
Cheryl Vollen definitely not. My childhood was pretty much ruined by them and I ended up getting kicked out for not wanting to live anymore a few days after turning 18
21:30
Gemma:your a perfect 10!
Jack: awww thanks! your also... good
No one:
Absolutely no one:
Jack: “Imma hire a hit man”
*paddy
Whos imma?
Oh
@@dogisalivefornow5884...
4:13 Osin McLaughlin
Anybody who made one of The Sean memes:
“Peace was never an option”
Jack
Mortgage: Nah
Car: Nah
Health: Nah
Hitmen: YEAAAAA
paddy being lucky and unlucky at the same time
my character losing 96million on a divorce
Jack: he’s happier than he’s ever been
Me: wasn’t he at 100% last time?
Jack:Makes a BitLife video
Stepdad:"Why do i hear boss music?"
Nobody:
Jack: *does the intro*
Me: "The clap of his ass cheeks alerted the guards!"
Edit: Damn, this is the most liked comment I've ever gotten. I usually only get around 5.
I laughed mor than I should.
TH-cam: how are the comments on this video?
Scrolls down to the comments and this is the first one I see.
Me: Absolutely outstanding!
Bro I had the same idea so don’t think I took your comment
that really relatable moment when your wife gets hit by a blimp
8:40 My GOD I wasn't fully paying attention and that sentence instilled fear in my heart
XD
Ok mikki
Jack: Has a peaceful life with a family that loves him and a successful job
Also jack: Crime?
Jack: “time to hire a hitman to kill my ex!”
Hitman:*kills ex*
Jack: “NoOOoOo!!”
*wait a second, this whole operation was your idea*
Losing money at the casino, diagnosed with anxiety, divorce, diagnosed with depression. This game is getting a biiiiiit too realistic for my liking.