How was it interviewing a narcissist about narcissism? 😅 She even tried to put you down and into place when your questions made her feel like you were onto her. Scary eyes. Definitely a narcissist
Narcissists don't relate. Rather, they feel they are right and feel entitled to other people conforming to their agenda. Narcissists can only demand conformanceships; they can't have relationships.
Narcissists can't cleave... they can be superficial, but they can't cleave... For context, the Money Power Allodials financed rusty iron filings into the food supply beginning in 1941. This toxic form of iron has never been in the food supply before. Morley Robbins is the expert on iron toxicity. He would be a great guest. Daniel 2:43-44 43 And whereas thou sawest iron mixed with miry clay, they shall mingle themselves with the seed of men: but they shall not cleave one to another, even as iron is not mixed with clay. 44 And in the days of these kings shall the God of heaven set up a kingdom, which shall never be destroyed: and the kingdom shall not be left to other people, but it shall break in pieces and consume all these kingdoms, and it shall stand for ever.
I spent years studying narcissism, due to having grown up as the designated scapegoat. I spent years buying into this model of “recovery”, which only perpetuates the external locus of control and the belief that safety is found by identifying toxic people and avoiding them. This felt good, but did nothing for me. It was only through learning how to strengthen my boundaries and learning how not to absorb other people’s emotions, regardless of whether they were narcissists or not, that my life began to improve in drastic ways. That and changing my own self-concept. The human ego in itself is narcissistic, all people are narcissistic to one degree or another. Some much more dysfunctional than others. This idea that labeling and identifying narcissists is some kind of revelation has lead to everyone calling everyone narcissists, further increasing division. Ironically, I’m seeing people on the extreme end of the spectrum now calling others narcissists.
You're an absolute force for positive change Dr. Ramani - change within us individually, and therefore change at a societal level. You've opened my eyes. THANK YOU!
Remember Trump changing the weather map so that the hurricane went the direction he wanted it to and then tried to cover it up and never admitted he was wrong? Then spent 2 weeks Still Trying to CONVINCE us he was right. ID THAT NARC ENCAPSULATION OTR WHAT?😊 as well. Insane unbelievable -- I mean...well you knowy.. Human experience. A hot, high IQ , 2 Masters Degrees woman from. a moneyed Catholic family . Flowers to her neighbors weekly ,smile line wrinkles mile long from 50 ye rs of the Narc mask triangulating me _ 2 of her exes in misty ingenious manipulation scheme ever. She knows I don't play m jig school games. Walk outside... Shs standing in rain. Soaking wet. Trying to convince you that it's 80 Degrees an the sun is out. And will NOT STOP until you relenqiish reality.
How? Did you agree to enter into a therapeutic agreement with her? An observable and accountable confidentiality covenant? If not, she abused you, because she is not who she pretends to be and is causing serious damage on the Internet.
A lot of these narc channels prey on "victims". They need you to forever think that you are a victim and in need of healing. Some have even admitted it. @@joycenichols6187
"if the behavior is unacceptable, it's unacceptable, I don't care about the back story" Yes, indeed, Dr Ramani, if only we all saw it that way. Less people would be able to get away with horrendous acts against others.
People who grew up abused and didn't learn to love, who have a predisposition to be unempathetic, may have no choice about being jerks. They still need to suffer consequences for crimes or more crimes get committed and destroy civilization.
@@anarcho-communist11 I used to be of that mind. That someones back story not only explains their behavior but justifies it. I no longer see it that way. It's also irrelevant them getting punished because it does not change the impact they have on other people's lives. Unless you are walking around with blinkers on, you will soon learn as an adult that something is not right with yourself and that maybe how you go about things is not okay. It's up to that individual to take responsibility for their actions no matter how they got to that state because facts are, no one else has the power to do so like themselves!!!
It's funny that she is the biggest narcissist of all and her content does nothing but breed more of them. But none of them will see it because they're… by definition, NARCISSISTS, lmao. Ramani is just their supply. It's so embarrassing that none of them see it but she's bred the exact audience she wants to create. Constant supply on both ends. Can't say it's not genius.
@@kaizen_5091 well said. I got sucked into or manipulated/gaslit into their traumas until someone once reminded me that I had been and was going through narc traumas abuse far worse and I wasn't using it as an excuse to be nasty and irresponsible or victimhood. Narcs choose to ignore the initial moral conscience till it no longer works. As adults we're definitely responsible for our choices.
I always said "he acts like a Dick but he's accually not" until somebody said "if he always acts like a Dick... he is just a Dick" and that person was soo right 😅
This woman saved me several times during 2 narcisistic relationships.I survived,there is hope of a better life.Never give up and inform and educate yourself.
@@mark2073 No, we don’t. Some are different. I was married for 22 years to one, but he wasn’t as covert as the second one. I had no idea until the second one how bad life can be and it’s horrible. I will completely lost all self discipline self worth value. It was the worst I walked away with a broken wrist, torn meniscus, and a check to 2024 in San Diego, California. I wondered where all my friends on social media where did they recognize those are posting every day and then my friends realize I was in an abusive relationship? Abuse is real and it sucks.
@@619mom I beg you to please watch HG Tudor's thousands of educational videos on narcissism! He explains how to remove yourself from a narcissist completely! He talks about marriages, children, loved ones, and friends that are involved in a narcissist's relationship. How to escape for good. God bless you!
You are a reflection of everyone you hate and disagree with. You or I are not perfect and are more alike then not, because we are HUMAN. maybe when yous realise this you'll have more love and understanding which means less division and seperaton which means not as much need for condemnation of others choices and or brain chemistry through the derogatory label of "narcissism" Much love to you ❤
Yous LOVE division and you LOVE being a victim as it makes you feel better and more important than others The exact thing yous blame Narcs for doing! 😂❤
@@wattsy6303 Were these comments for me? It sounds like you are having quite a big reaction. You mention "hate", "division", "derogatory", "condemnation" and seem to be projecting onto me some narcissistic stuff about being "perfect". This was in response to someone sharing gratitude to the interviewee. I'm not quite sure what's going on there with your response. Sounds like you are having some big feelings though and I'm very curious!
It's true. The #1 sign is if the person takes accountability. If they do and apologize/ change behavior, that is a normal person. Narcissists never take accountability and would rather deflect, shift blame, or lie. An asshole is also just mean and rude, but a narcissist is more manipulative and can often be very sociable and charming and well-liked by people who only meet them on a surface level.
Yep this is a massive red flag. I know for a personality style to be narcissistic lots of ‘ingredients’ need to be there but anyone who demonstrates this needs to be put on someone’s mental ‘watchlist’ .
My narc was pretending accountability and "sorry" etc, only to manipulate and do the same again. My narc was pretending to listen or empathize... In reality my narc was just taking a step back only to attack and dominate again... Very sad
I just changed a profile picture in my phone for one of my contacts from a handsome face to "never defend, justify, explain or overshare." It will remind me every time the contact calls that I have the option to decline, block or completely remove them from my contact list. Baby steps are slowly giving me my life back.
The hardest thing to explain to people who have not lived with a narcissist is the behavior of the vulnerable or covert narcissist. These people appear "normal" but when you are intimately connected to them they are judgmental, will unfairly target other family members for their hate, will love others only conditionally and if you don't comply with their vision of your life they will reject you, they will emotionally withhold from their children and put unfair expectations onto their children. They are highly damaging to children.
you hit the nail on the head. They have so much disdain for their family members who do not measure up to their standards, and most times, the family member doesn't know.
You just mentioned what literally everybody is like deep down. Your love is indeed conditional even though your comment suggests otherwise. The talking trash about family is 1 I don't like but it's so common it's not even worth bringing up. I think this whole narcissist trend on the internet has become an excuse for people.
@@ONETimothy2.12-14 Wow imagine outing yourself like this lol! Does everyone have certain standards? Yes. Is it common to feel disappointed if those standards aren't met? Yes. Is it normal to *stop loving someon* just because those standards aren't met? Absolutely not! *That's* the type of conditional love we're talking about here. Not stopping loving someone when you finally realise how badly they've been abusing you - that's just prioritising self-love and boundaries.
@JBUHJBUH All you did was linguistic gymnastics to avoid taking accountability for your "conditions" for love. You think I outed myself when you are the one outing your covert narcissism. You have an entire checklist that puts you in a position of power in a relationship and if your man takes that from you you will immediately lose interest.
The father of my child is a narcissist, he treated me absolutely horrendously while I was pregnant with our daughter. I was a delivery driver for Domino's at the time and during my deliveries, I would listen to Dr. Ramani talk about narcissism and she helped me distinguish what was actually going on and she helped me start to develop mental strong guards to help protect myself , she truly helped me during that time of my life when I was going thru that.
Working with a narcissist was the best thing that ever happened to me, changed my life for the better. I had to shake off the things that had held me back my entire adult life, I am now more aware of manipulation the second it starts. I have given up on being understood, and value the understanding I have with myself. I realized that my best version of my self was despised by these people, and so I stepped in to that version of me.
I know what you meant. Since I could be aware of my narc partners, while getting out from them, I could get into my childhood where I was abused by narc parents.
I am a narcissistic survivor, and it wasn't even a family member, but strangely a co-worker. Even if it was for a short term, I was very much so psychologically damaged which took me years to recover from. It's so important that the world is well versed in this world of narcisism. Watching Dr. Ramani's videos during pandemic helped me further heal and come to understand that time of my life. Thank you for inviting her!
I was exactly the same. Co-worker too, who ended up as my best friend that I then realised was actually a narc and I was the codependent one! Dr. Ramani, saved my life!!
I think I can relate to this. I also have a co worker that gave ma PTSD. She always makes me feel that I always do things wrong, I always make mistakes (even if I do my best in the job) . She is the Hero/protagonist at work and I am the villain. It feels like she steps on me each day to make her the one loved by everyone. She is the nice, most lovable, helpful one and I am the most useless... No one has ever made me feel that way.
I work with a covert narcissist who recruited other narcissists & alphas to her circle. She is a control freak who has no boundaries to maintain her facade & power over 😅others. It's a daily struggle to keep my wits from falling into their pitfalls. My biggest defense is silence, inner integrity & distance.
What I find most interesting about this amazing podcast is, did any narcissists watch it and realise they are narcissists and how did that knowledge affect them? 🧐
@@Hkizzie In no way do or will they ever accept that they r narcissists....ever. They can't be fixed because they r everybody's best friend and that's their reality......they r wonderful in their own mind just because they help a homeless person or give to Charity and make sure everyone knows they r doing that. It's a nightmare of a life if ur the partner.
I was 61 years old when I met my first Narcissist. I didn’t understand what was wrong with us. He was very charismatic at first. But, after several months of dating his true colors began to emerge. Behind closed doors he was mean. Verbally abusive. Emotionally abusive. Lies constantly. Blamed me for everything that went wrong. Then, I would leave and the Love bombing would begin. My advice: Leave and don’t ever go back. It will be hard to do. But, you must! And, I must ❤❤❤Be strong
Dr. Ramani's insights on narcissism are incredibly valuable, especially in the professional world. Entrepreneurs should be aware that narcissistic traits can sometimes be mistaken for confidence, which is appealing in leadership. However, true success comes from collaborative efforts and emotional intelligence, not just assertiveness or charisma. It's crucial to differentiate these qualities when building a team or choosing a mentor.
Insights coming from the fact she herself is one. Look at the eyes. Clear as day. Not to say her advice is bad but she's doing this all for self gratification not from the heart
Couldn’t click faster when I saw Dr Ramani in the thumbnail. Her response to the question at the end got me. Even strong people have vulnerable experiences. She was strong for sharing
if you have encountered any of these evil narcissist the book The path forward surviving a narcissist by Lisa Scott, The sociopath next door by Dr Martha Stouth and Lovefraud by Donna Anderson are excellent informative books.
Same. Not only that, but she’s helping me to REINFORCE these boundaries I’ve put up against two separate narcissists; one being a former love interest and the other one being my estranged, abusive, controlling mother who I have not spoken to in ten years. Both of the narcissists in my life I’m thinking of knew no boundaries. If they knew I put one up, they’d just trample over it anyway. Then had the gall later to complain about their boundaries and limits. Ugh, the double standards!!
I am a narcissist and it has driven me to excell in selected areas that get me admiration. The areas where I could not excell at, like music, I quickly abandoned. I sculpt and do pastel portraits that wow people. That is through great effort over many years (obviously seeking admiration). I worked and manipulated the system in the Air Force to not become just a pilot but a “Fighter Pilot”. At 80 years of age, it is fascinating to analyzing a life of this. An amazing woman has managed to stay with me for 57 years. I am watching this for her (and Jesus).
If you’re open to discussion and questions, I would love to hear more from your wife and I am interested to know what do you both believe kept you together to this day? 😊
I don't think you're a narcissist just because you manipulated people, and I doubt narcissists will even admit they're one, and the fact you're watching this video shows how aware you are, and your wife staying and all shows that you might not be a narcissist.
This woman....is my HERO!!! She put SO many things in perspective for me and my family regarding a Narcissistic family member. YEARS of emotional abuse and drama...and now we know exactly how to deal with this person. Dr Ramani saved us!
It's funny that she is the biggest narcissist of all and her content does nothing but breed more of them. But none of them will see it because they're… by definition, NARCISSISTS, lmao. Ramani is just their supply. It's so embarrassing that none of them see it but she's bred the exact audience she wants to create. Constant supply on both ends. Can't say it's not genius.
In 100 minutes this doctor told the story of 18 years of my life with my narcissistic ex. I lost 18 years of my adult life. My best years. I had no thoughts left at the end of this interview. Just regret and sadness and the hope more people find their way out of the misery that narcisism is.
i supprt you and all of you on your journey rebuilding and finding your true authentic self because i've been thorugh the same, now building myself up again. Please reach out to me if u need support.
I think this exact content should be included in the curricula of schools around the world. It would save a lot of young people from developing low self-esteem because of narcissists in their lives and help them recognise red flags before stepping into bad relationships later in life.
The awareness is important. The frightening part though is with 1 in 6 people being narcissists, who can we trust, where are we going to find normal people? Narcissists seem to dominate everything and everyone. They are usually celebrated, embraced, and loved making it hard for normal people to be seen and reached.
@@Godchild876please don’t quote that number. It’s just what she feels like with no proof. I don’t know 6 people who I can confidently predict might have narcissism. I can think of maybe 3. But no one in my life is actually diagnosed.
I was with one for 15 years. Confirmed by a marital psychologist. A PhD specializing in family and marriages. He had a high level of “traits” she said. “Not a true narc because he has some empathy” she said, but “he has a lot of traits”. All I know is till this day I’ve never been more afraid of a person like I have been and still am of him in my entire life.
They are known to fake empathy because they can look more normal and fit in better. When someone doesn’t care about others they can do anything so we should be afraid. Sadly. So glad you got out!!
It doesn’t get better than Dr. Ramani. She’s saved my life countless times making me feel seen and heard. She’s also incredibly humble. So much respect for what she’s doing! 💖
Dr Ramani saved my life. Her new book It's Not You is a gamechanger in the healing paradigm. Understanding narcissism is now the key for living a peaceful and happy life.
I bought Dr. Ramani's book and it is excellent. "It's not your fault." These narcs unravel even the strongest and most competent people. It's like being hypnotized or a kind of Stockholm Syndrome.
If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done Metaspyhub@gmail. com.
You r probably quite rightin how to deal with narcs. The problem is you need to be so so strong to be able to stand so so firm n protect yourself. Not many people would have those skills/characteristics. I do…. But it still costs me as their crap never ends. Hopeless. !!!
The 'dealing with' depends on the context of the relationship, whether that is a workplace (and position within the work hierarchy), a family member, or a partner. The 'boundaries and distance' can be implemented to a degree with the first two situations, but not a partner, primarily because of the 24/7 nature of it, also the narcissist's goals (not the right word). I have the experience in all three of those situations. With the workplace one, he was my boss in a small organisation, so hard to avoid, but it sorted itself out by being invaluable to him, so he backed off with the BS games, plus I already knew about narcissism, so I did not take it personally. With the family member, boundaries can work to a degree (but generally those boundaries are more about limiting exposure, and being aware of the manipulation going on, again just putting up a mental wall against it whilst nodding along with their emotional manipulation). The final situation of partner is difficult to manage, and it depends on the abuser and their motivations. Certainly once realisation happens you can emotionally wall yourself off (without really letting on that is what you are doing), but as for setting boundaries, that is a hard 'no'. Boundaries (or leaving, threatening to leave) is when most get killed, because your boundaries are cutting the narc supply. Some DV abuser narcs just want you there as a 'pressure release' or punching bag so they can appear Nice Guy to outside world, but take out their frustrations and disappointments at home. For others their motivations are the ultimate power and control over another, and it is their mission to 'break you' as a person. The latter type generally more dangerous. So it really is dependent on context. There is no magical setting of the boundaries and it will all work out okay, it is both situational and depends on the actual narcissist or abuser.
I was in a narcissistic relationship for many years. Now that I'm free of it, I can identify the behavior quickly. When you're inside of the relationship, it feels like a prison.
Yeah and you'll be identifying it everywhere and with everyone that is connected to you in a way that matters. Because you still haven't figured out what your part of the problem was.
@@ONETimothy2.12-14 I grew up surrounded by them! So, it was normal for me. Learning to expect and receive more from people has been a wonderful challenge!
@@Jakob19thmmm I think your ideas of what that would look like has been wonderful to you. Being around people where your performance or utility matters for any reason at all will prove to be much more difficult to control.
First time in my years of chronic mental abuse by parent and sibling...my feelings got validated by listening to what Dr.Ramani explored. Long live Dr. Ramani 🙏
She’s all over TH-cam, her own channel and guest appearances. As someone that has/is going thru the same dynamic you speak of, I suggest whenever you’re not feeling validated or maybe gaslighted, or when they mirror & hijack your good values, while projecting their insecurities onto you to own, or devaluing you and then discarding when you standup for yourself, sending the flying monkeys and smear campaigners your way 😢🤦🏻♀️👀😮💨 the terms are wild but so real! Anyways, when this is all happening find one of her videos (or other content creators online, or redit forums) and in no time you’ll be feeling better. Just don’t let them make you doubt your reality or completely break you down! God bless and I hope you’re having a great weekend! 🙏💜
This episode was so good, thank you for this!!! Is it just me or can anyone else just listen to Dr Ramani all day? I admire the way she speaks, its so calming ☺️
I was raised by a narcissist and never had the luxury of planning for - or even just daydreaming about - my future. Every waking moment was just “How do I protect myself? How do I avoid pain and fear?” It consumed me. And I’m so fucking angry about it that I chose to take my life back. I’m starting school next week at 23 yrs old
This empathic, brillian, beautiful woman, was the catalyst for all the good and positive changes I've made within myself. She, single handedly, is the reason I am still alive today. Such huge thanks to her, from me, and my children and loved ones. She needs to be protected, at all costs. ❤❤❤
I was in a relationship with a narcissist and was gaslit to the point that I didn’t know who I was anymore. The best decision I made was to get out. Thank you Dr Ramani.
Totally! I can smell narcissists and manipulators from a mile off now. Won’t fall for that again!! Sorry to hear it happened to you too but I am glad you turned the experience into a positive one.
Had a friend who was a survivor and they were reduced to a shadow of themselves. Couldn’t make a simple decision and worst of all were so unsure. Information and knowledge is the “only” protection. it can take months to really understand this stuff and once you understand, you will know why they keep going back to their abusers. So many survivors get dropped when their friends find out they have returned to their abusers, just when they need them “most.” Dr Ramani knows her stuff! And was a survivor. There are lots of women perpetrators too but they don’t get as much press. Women survivors are much more open, commutative and vulnerable about their abuse so the perception is that men are most of the perpetrators. It’s a human problem! Men are likely perceived as weak to let a woman dominate/abuse them too. But it’s all manipulation.
Dr.Rami saved my life . I was under the thumb of a full blown Narc and I was financially trapped. Did i continue to educate myself from other licensed bonifided sources. Of course I did. Now i know who to let in my life and who to walk away from. ❤THANK YOU DR!
Reading through these comments, I'm deeply moved by how many lives Dr. Ramani has touched, including mine. Her wisdom and courage inspire us all to face our own struggles and emerge stronger. Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for being a beacon of light in the darkness.
Omg imagine if Dr Ramani had given up her education because of her terrible experience at uni! Because of this one narcissist we wouldn’t have this wealth of knowledge that has changed my life and by the looks of the comments section many, many others! Well done to her! She really is amazing! I’m so glad she never gave up on herself with such odds against her!! Thank you so much Dr Ramani! To anyone reading this you never know the impact your life will have or is having, so please stay true to your authentic self and keep going no matter what! 🎉❤
2:53 why it matters 3:56 the cost 5:57 personality 10:35 definition 12:53 bad days 14:03 afraid to express needs 14:31 asshole 15:26 can’t change it 17:15 gender specific 19:43 grandiose 22:15 psychopathy 22:50 communal narc 25:14 how many people 27:41 social media 31:06 podcast 33:01 temperament 36:50 spectrum 39:33 is it ever worth it? 41:22 empathic innovator 47:48 how to know who’s one 51:06 attracted to narcs 54:32 are you dating one? 55:03 slow burn of who am i 56:15 three r’s 59:37 empathy vs perceptive 1:00:30 pathological manipulation 1:01:41 projection 1:02:25 side piece 1:03:24 their inner workings 1:05:04 feedback 1:06:44 gaslighting 1:09:25 DARVO 1:11:31 stop gaslighting 1:14:02 domestic violence 1:16:05 narcs at work 1:18:25 getting out 1:19:31 acceptance 1:20:56 finding others 1:22:47 can’t be happy 1:23:46 performative lovers 1:25:01 what they’re scared of 1:26:28 authentic 1:27:28 famous narcs 1:29:16 magic 1:32:42 healing 1:34:59 darkest day
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dr. Ramani for making the distinction that all Domestic Abusers are indeed, Narcissists. I never knew what Narcissism really was, until I started listening to you. My abuser went into a treatment program for Domestic Abuse...and learned to abuse me in ways in which he couldn't get caught, or arrested. The abuse never stopped, because he was a Narcissist.
Yup - they are very clever, aren't they? I, also had an abuser - and his family - who cleverly escaped detection, esp. because they were so skillful at lying that they engaged in Swatting - they would abuse me - then call the police - on me! The police even ordered me to undergo a mandatory drug test in the hospital, after I had the anxiety attack, after being Swatted! One of the many incidences of clever abuse.)
It's funny that she is the biggest narcissist of all and her content does nothing but breed more of them. But none of them will see it because they're… by definition, NARCISSISTS, lmao. Ramani is just their supply. It's so embarrassing that none of them see it but she's bred the exact audience she wants to create. Constant supply on both ends. Can't say it's not genius. Abusers are abusers, having NPD has nothing to do with it. She's just pathologizing her own disorder because she fears it. She sees herself in it. It's so embarrassing.
I’ve seen this behaviour in people who are actually taking nasty advantage of church groups who think they are helping this poor innocent person who can’t help themselves. I’ve also witnessed Burn Out of paid or unpaid caregivers as a result of this. Always be aware!!!
My experience was that the abuse got worse AFTER I left with the children. It was a decade of agony after leaving. (It took 7.5 years to get divorced.) When a person has a lack of empathy, they can be unbelievably cruel and vengeful. They don’t care how much they are hurting you and the children. You can’t abuse the mother of your children and then expect it will not affect the children, especially when she is the primary caregiver. The consequences of narcissism reverberate throughout the decades. It is very sad to witness (as a mother who wants the very best for her children and wants them to thrive). I hope that more and more people can recognize narcissism so they can avoid getting into a relationship with a narcissist (whether it is NPD or high narcissistic traits e.g., 4 out of 9). I wish the very best to the survivors of narcissistic abuse. There are many of us out there. Thank you Dr. Ramani for all you have done to educate people about narcissism.
Thank you. I am desperately trying to survive having just left and gone no contact from a parental narcissist while first fighting for my life and listening to Dr. Ramani hours daily because her work is the only thing that may be saving my life. Dr. Ramani‘s description at the beginning of this interview is bone, chilling for it is apt, direct, accurate. it is only a scratch at the surface and she is 100% accurate.
I havnt talked to my mother in years. My brother and I broke contact with her before we knew what narcissism was other than the general idea of it. Looking at my childhood and relationship with my mother everything makes so much sense. I feel peace knowing I'm free
I hear you…I distanced myself from a narcissistic mother and can’t tolerate being around her so it ended up being no contact. I found a therapist who asked the right questions and helped me put the pieces together for myself. I was in danger of ending myself because she made me feel like a terrible person. She murdered my soul. Moving in a positive direction but definitely grieving so it is slow going
@@gwendolyn79 thank you for words of encouragement. I think the deepest cut of all it’s not being able to save a parent from killing themselves and then the biggest gift has been realizing there is nothing I can do. When my horse leans on me when we’re trimming his feet sometimes I will step out from under him and he will fall because he’s leaning too much of his weight on me. I’m trying to look at this the same: kindly walk away forever and recognize she will either choose to fall or put her other foot on the ground without destroying me and crushing me. Thank you for your kind words.
I fervently believe it would benefit our society to teach our children, in an age appropriate way, about personality disorders including narcissism, antisocial personality disorder and substance abuse disorders. I am grateful that I read a book a few years before I met the malignant narcissist I dated. It didn’t save me from the relationship, but it saved me from being more damaged. I was able to externalize his behaviors. Education is just such an important piece for the survivors. These personality disorders are no joke and can be very dangerous. We need to prepare our children for encountering this kind of individual.
We have been taught about these people - in books, in fairy tales, great Russian literature is about these people, warning us all the time. You know what it's called - it's called evil. It's all over the scriptures of various religions. We have just santized and medicalized our morality too much to call it what it is.
I absolutely agree. Children, particularly females, need to understand how the patterns and traps work. We also need to stop with the fairy tales because we are setting our daughters up to walk right into abusive situations. If I had known thirty/forty years ago what I NOW know, I could have had a different response.
This is an ignorant and cruel comment. I don't think we should teach our children to stigmatize the mentally ill. You can teach about mind games and dark manipulation tactics without demonizing an already marginalized group of people.
@@catherineblair550 they aren't mentally ill. they are evil, literally they are demonic. predatory in every sense of the word. to look at them as mentally ill is a delusion that prevents you from seeing the evil. they aren't marginalized - they are vastly more powerful and influential than your average decent person on the street, both interpersonally and socioeconomically. they have no empathy, no conscience, no compassion for anyone. they exploit and destroy without remorse. and they get away with all of it bc no one has the power to combat them or defend against it.
Oh my God! Your answer to that last question!!!! I would like to share my story and what i am still experiencing in Jamaica. Thank you!!!! It is true. I am not crazy!!!! No police, church family, blood family, no counselor, no teacher, no pastor, absolutely no one but God and now you. I am and was never alone. Praise God!
In a society like America that breeds and encourages Narcissistic personalities, learning to spot them and how to deal with them is crucial for your mental health and personal safety.
Been following Dr. Ramani for years. Recently dodged a rusty narcissistic bullet thanks to her teachings. When I realized what was happening, a Sista’ went NO CONTACT, immediately. Thank you!
When she explained the gaslighting thing, I got goosebumps. Happens to me in my current relationship a lot and I never understood why I felt this way. Thank you for this episode!
It's so powerful to have this explained because being in a relationship where you are gaslit creates so much anxiety and lack of self trust. I hope you find healing and are able to move away from this relationship 🙏🏻
In 2023/2024 Dr Ramani’s online content on TH-cam saved my life and helped me leave an untenable relationship with a narcissist who also became addicted to drugs.
1 in 6 and I won the jackpot 😅 Parents, ex-mother-in-law and ex-husband are narcissists. Watched Dr.Ramani through my journey to break free. Won in court and saved my child’s life. She’s a blessing for all survivors!
2 parents, grandmother, aunt, cousin and her kids ,2 sisters, 1 niece, 2 step siblings, 1 stepfather, 3 romantic long term partners, every friend, and every narc in a workplace or social group has targeted me, several bosses, and about 1/3 of clients. Being groomed to be the scapegoat from childhood may have made me the magnet for every narc I came accross, and I only learned about it in the last 9 yrs, but I think narcs are far more common than 20 %.
@@robinantonio8870 I would say your assessment you’re a magnet for narcs is right, and it seems there are more. But the number 1 in 6 will grow for sure.
My family is full of them too. There's a lot of experts that follow the theory it's a neurological disorder and not personality, that would make it hereditary. Would make a lot of sense...
I avoided her videos like the plague because I didn’t want to confront the reality in my life. Thank you dr.R. You are doing a service to the world in talking about narcissists, truly
I've watched HUNDREDS of Dr Ramani videos on her personal channel, and yet I still learn something or hear something in a different way in EVERY video she puts out and interview she does with other people. LOVE HER!
It's funny that she is the biggest narcissist of all and her content does nothing but breed more of them. But none of them will see it because they're… by definition, NARCISSISTS, lmao. Ramani is just their supply. It's so embarrassing that none of them see it but she's bred the exact audience she wants to create. Constant supply on both ends. Can't say it's not genius.
Narcissists can seem like the most loving, charming and sweet people one minute with one person and then the next minute with someone else they’re mean, rude, dismissive and cold/callous. Everyone has varying moods, but with narcs it’s like they’ve got varying personalities and you’re always uncertain and afraid which one will appear next. They will never admit wrongdoing 99% of the time and even if they do, they will still blame you and make you think you had it coming.
@iklijkwelgekmetmijneigennaam isint blaming and resenting people who exhibit behaviors we deem as negative, based off faulty or underdeveloped brain chemistry which is largely out of their control in of itself narcissistic?. Why not lead with love and understanding? And if can't do that just don't resound at all?. Empowerment and positivity should not come from billing and shaming others, especially for things they can not control based off your own definitions.
@iklijkwelgekmetmijneigennaam Ah yes no accountability like in real life, just finger pointing a random person, sigh…..Never your fault because you met them, right? It’s their fault, right? I mean you choose them in the first place? But yet their fault, right? Neem wat verantwoordelijkheid in uw leven en stop met finger wijzen.
People should be evaluated before they're allowed to procreate. Narcissists shouldn't be anyone's parents. All of them are abusive and will abuse their kids and then make a lot of those kids become narcissists.
I am currently under attack by a neighbor who,is a narcissist. It is unsettling,. However, I have educated myself with many lectures such as this. . Thank you for your help.
Sounds like my scenario. It was a nightmare dealing with my narcissist neighbor in the adjoining townhome with hail damage. The only peace I've had in 4 plus years is when she had a tantrum and announced via email she's not going to talk to me anymore. One of the awful parts is creating flying monkeys with our neighbors. Whole armor of God around me 🙏
She saved my life!!! I have a narcissist sister and I had no idea what I was dealing with. I cried for help so long but no one listened to me as she said "you are so lucky to have such a sister"... I now cut all my communication with her and I never felt so happy and free in my life! I pray with Dr.Ramani for opening the doors for me day and night! 🙏 Please continue what you do, we all need you. ❤️
I'm here with you.. I went no contact for 8 months.. now I tolerate her at a distance.. she knows.. that I know.. what she is.. so she doesn't approach me. She abused me from 5 years old.. all through adolescence well until I was in my 30's until I cut off contact entirely.. now she operates around cousins and siblings.. I'm fine with that.. but I'm not the whipping girl anymore..
Ugh… I wanted to hug her at the end… no matter how strong and capable we are, at the end of the day, we’re human and trauma cuts so deep 😢 kudos to her for continuing with her education and helping others heal
Steven, I so appreciate your style of interviewing. I love that you mostly listen and allow the person you're interviewing to share their wisdom. There are some famous interviewers that I feel do just as much talking as a person they're interviewing and often interrupt that person. So thank you for being an awesome, respectful listener and asking really poignant questions.
Something that seems to have been missed in the definition of "a narcissist" is that narcissism is a defence against shame. These people lack the skills to be able face those feelings of shame without it completely destroying their sense of self.
Only sometimes. Yes - some people are "hurt people who hurt people", but not always. In my experience, most of these individuals are simply sadistic psychopaths, in it "just for the game of it".
Yes you are right, people want to demonise narcissist, but it is a defence from shame, and they have very well established defenses that few see through. Most don't want to see it as they are too identified with being blameless victims.
@@jacquedaw know that we are not demonising the person, only the personality/disorder. if we were to demonise the person we might as well call them possessed. One should however try not to sympathise or empathise with them as that acts as a breeding ground for justifications and rationalisations of their behaviour. the issue is in our own perception unfortunately, if a child would show similar traits we wouldn't justify or pay much attention, but its the being a fully functioning adult that brings on the confusion as a child can't do us as much harm as an adult.
@@catspurr_98 It is just everyone who has an argument or a break up now labels the other as a narc, there is now a recognised condition called narcissistic victim syndrome. All this polarised good/bad - narc/empath duality does not show the full picture. Yes those with NPD have extreme protector parts who were formed when they were young children so they are immature and can be very damaging in an adult. But it is possible to have empathy and good boundaries. Those who end up victims of narcissistic behaviour usually have poor boundaries, are codependant or people pleasers, so they have work to do on themselves to see why they co create this toxic dynamic. If they don't accept responsibility and see themselves as blameless empaths preyed upon by evil narcs etc, then nothing will change. Both sides have a complete lack of acountability. In fact when someone starts going on about being an empath who is targeted by narcs, their lack of acountability and victim mindset often has me questioning if they have narcissistic traits themselves
@@catspurr_98 you seem like a great person, im not a narcisisist however you spell it, at least i dont think i am... anyways your insight on demonising the narc personality, and not the person, was the right formula I needed to understand . I personally hope that oneday we cross paths and ill help you, because you helped me. And if none has told you this, shame on them You are loved you are kind And even if you cant appreciate yourself or your art. I do. Go and have your self a good year 🎉🎉🎉🎉
I know someone who is a narcissist. She knows it, and she's proud of it. She thinks it makes her better than others, almost like a super power. She thinks it doesn't make her a bad person, it makes her a smart person.
So she's a self aware narcissist. In some ways she's right. Depending on her intelligence, the narcissism would encourage her to climb the corporate ladder, crushing anyone in her way, thus obtaining her goals. Again, it's all down to the individual, intelligence, and awareness... I was stung by a narc some time ago, and during my encounter, I always wondered why she made odd comments, and why my energy was always in a certain dynamic... She was 37 but had the emotional Intelligence and conflict resolution ability akin to a 5 year old.... ie silent treatment, gaslighting etc etc... and then I stumbled upon Cluster B personalities and wow..... what a learning curve... Even how my upbringing has set me up to be drawn to them... There's only one golden rule needed when faced with a narcissist. When you know, you go! (Get out, and stay out)
@aprilm, Just to let you know that narcissists are careless and have poor judgement. We have all experienced periods we have made a bad decision or we should have made a better choice. Believe it. She has seen days of accountability and in the future she will do so. The ferris wheel of life is always turning, except when it is turned off by an outside influence or circumstance. It happens to everyone and no one is exempt. Not even her. The variables to a narcissist is extreme codependency, obsessions, severe paranoia, delusions, intrusive thoughts that mimic hallucinations, compulsive behavior, easily manuplated by narcissists that are of the higher end of the spectrum such as the covert/vulnerable narc. vs overt/malignant narcissist (Dark Triad). Or a psychopath.
Part of my healing and recovery. Thank you for info on how to spot the difference: Non-Narcissistic is able to 1) Take accountability; 2) Make Amends & own their Behavior; 3) True Change of behavior and action. Every.Single.Time I listen, I learn. Thank you
Thank you for having Dr. Ramani. She is empowering those of us in relationships with narcissist. Those of us who have been so manipulated and badgered who are slowly getting back healthy boundaries and confidence.
The narcissistic people will choose partners based on the qualities they do not possess and they envy - kindness, generosity, empathy, care, love. And then they will destroy these people out of spite because they know they can never be that for various reasons. My ex just said - you are too nice, you don`t even know how powerful you are, etc. Never let them devalue you! You are amazing souls being sucked into the empty darkness of heavily traumatized people and I hope whoever went or are still going through this, will find the way back to see your own true beauty!
This is totally right narcs area empty people who try to fill themself with the energy and kindness of others. I have been a victim of these narc. They are powerful and destroy, but I find that as soon as their victim stop the relationship and communication. She feels straight away lighter and happier. Don’t stay with a narc…run. Run, run.
Dr Ramani is continually saving me from considering toxic friendships and relationships. I felt like she didn't need to share her trauma but thankful she did. I wanted to give her a huge hug of gratitude. Felt the guy didnt show much empathy.... 🔪 Definitely related to triggers and compartmentalising trauma and it coming back. What a healing person to still want to help others when most people are awful 🖤
This why we must reward people who show gratitude, not entitlement. We use to give more to entitled people, and less to those who show gratitude when we give them.
1 in 6 equals about 17%, rounded up. Always knew that there is a higher percentage of narcissists than used to be acknowledged. It was a solid 37.5% in my family. Plus a borderline. So fully 50% of my family of origin was cluster B. My whole family life when I was young was unpredictable and unsafe. Have been no contact going on 12 years. Best thing I ever did for myself.
10 years no contact with my mum and 8 years no contact with my sisters. I do not regret these choices. For newer people, don't let the FOG (fear, obligation or guilt) make decisions for you ❤
Yeah. There are tons of workplace and family tyrants out there that satisfy their narc urges at the cost of their environment. Everyone knows at least one or two. It definitely has to be more than one in ten.
It seems to me like it's less than that but I'd definitely agree at least 1 in 6 people is abusive. And I've felt for a long time that 1 in 3 people isn't really a good person.
One parent and one sibling so 40% in my case, then i attract them, figured that out thanks to Dr Ramani she helped me so much understanding thus complex smoke and mirrors pervasive issue.. hard to imagine no empathy, but they exist
She opened my eyes. I was having cardiac arrests and started developing unexplainable physical medical problems because my narcissistic abuse and being kept in fight or flight mode for 10 years.. I went through hell not understanding the link between my health and the abuse I was enduring, but ended the relationship when I started educating myself about neurodiversity and narcs; and found Dr Ramani's youtube page. I wish I knew how to contact her. She doesn't know how many lives she has saved.
Narcissistic people respects power. You can't have a relationship with them, but you can learn to be more powerful and they will be happy to behave and suck up to you like they do to people higher than them in hierarchy.
Have listed to Dr. Ramani for a while on YT. Not ever really had to deal with narcissism in close quarters but it has helped me be aware of people around me in order to avoid. Her work on BPD is extremely insightful too. Keep up the good work Dr.
After encountering a narcissist and analyzing later in my life what kind of connection it was, I started to analyze people more deeply and now see all the defense mechanisms, sometimes traumas in other people as well as my own (always start with yourself) and life would never be the same😅 say thank you to the person who’s trying to warn you, not all the people are able to analyze the behaviors, she’s trying to help you to understand, not to blame 1/6 of the world.
I am listening to her explanations and literally just want to cry.. ive been 6 years with narcissist constantly manipulating, blaming, yelling at me .. was hard to leave.. very traumatic.. i am glad i did find strength
Divorcing my narc husband in September!! I can’t wait to have my own place with peace after 25 years with this disgusting behavior!!!! I’m officially done!!!! ✅
10 years here. She is getting served next week. Cross your fingers that she wont put up much of a fight. She is distracted by her new supply right now.
Dr. Ramani is a treasure , a remarkable leader & teacher to millions of us. I feel protective of her upon hearing her darkest day. I hope the person who terrorized her years ago has by now met his comeuppance & some serious judgement. I'm sure I'm not alone in this wish. Rock on, Dr. Ramani, we love you!💖
Dr. Ramani really empowered me to cut my mother off over a year ago. I still consistently deal with family questioning my decision and making me feel like a bad person for saving myself, because my mom is "sad" without me. It's a difficult change to deal with, but it is SO much easier than living in fear and walking on eggshells.
I went No Contact for 15 years with my mother. However, I think that she was not a narcissist but emotionally immature partly because she was able to change,
This is my mum and I’m so grateful cause now I can spot a narc so quickly.. biggest thing for me is choosing the right father for my children. Downside is ur so suspicious of people the slightest wrong someone does walls go up and then u really have to dig deep..
Dr R-saved my life 3 years ago. She’s amazing! I adore her, I often think how many people she’s saved and doesn’t even know the impact she’s had on people’s lives. Still healing, but I’m awake and free !!
Radical acceptance is helpful in reducing suffering in the first instance but it also helps in that it withdraws power from the narcissist, so they do tone it down when they realize they will be left alone. You have to be careful never to get too cozy, though, because they slip back into old habits very quickly.
What I can see now is that many wounded by narcissism will see those with just healthy boundaries as narcissistic. I'm recovered from my 20 year abusive relationship, but I remember a neighbor telling me a healthy "no" to listening my Mary Kay sales pitch, and I was so upset, crushed, and felt she was unkind and selfish. Later, she told me she was struggling with cancer and just exhausted. But, I learned within myself, that I HAD healing to do. I have also heard insecure men, call confident women, narcissists. So, a damaged , hurt or "victim mentality" person, is definitely NOT qualified to identify a narcissist. It's so tricky and complicated to work yourself from a victim identity, but worth every excruciating step to clarity. And here, this lovely, smart teacher is for us! Thank you for work, your clarity and your message!!
@@nugget6635 I agree, an unhealed victim can become a bully/narcissist psychologist. But, I believe completely in an empathic person (who's been abused or traumatized or even gas-lighted by people they trust) who becomes awake, aware and strong and then lights the way for others. Leah Remini is a great example.
I really appreciate what you have to say here. I have three close female friends I hang out with, usually all together, I’m the only guy in the group. And it seems that all they can do is talk about how all of their xs are narcissists. It has had me feeling fairly jaded about narcissists. I asked them all if they considered me a narcissist, and we had a long discussion about it and they all vehemently rejected the idea that I was in the strongest possible terms and explained why. However I couldn’t help but feel that if I had dated any one of them and thing didn’t work out they would be sitting around having the same conversation about how I was always such a narcissist. One of them seems. Fairly healthy, the other two have varying degrees of past trauma they are dealing with. One of them has very intense early childhood trauma and a long list of past relationship baggage trauma that they work very hard to deal with. We all talk together about this stuff and they always send me videos from doctor Ramsey. I feel like these videos that they watch prime them to attribute narcissism where it doesn’t exist. Who knows. Maybe the ten people they have dated are all narcissists, but it seems a little bit unlikely. I think what you said about traumatized victims not being the best judge of who is actually a narcissist holds a lot of merit. I hadn’t considered that before, but it’s probably very true. Thanks for the comment, I really found it valuable
One thing to keep in mind is that out in the dating world "narcissists are very successful". Narcissists are charming and like to "win" and get their partners. It could be very likely that your dear friends indeed found that many narcissists, as sad and sickening as that sounds. They sweep us off our feet, razzle, dazzle until we're hooked and then the pain begins. We spend so much time figuring out where our prince charming went and how and what we did to disappoint them 😢. It's confusing and awful to figure it out and disengage. As a victim of narcissistic abuse, we could be healed or unhealed (victim mentality). You would have to gauge that among them, based on how they perceive their lives, other people etc. I'm glad to hear your friends are wise and won't be fooled again. And you're a great friend for sitting with them for their processing of it all! ❤
I feel like narcissism is another one of those cases where the (very small) minority has ruined things for a majority. Every misunderstanding is now due to the other person being a narcissist (on social media). Any difference, refusal to conform, is narcissistic. Any refusal to be part of someone else's life is narcissistic. Out of all the people I've known in my life only a handful, about five I would classify as highly narcissistic. It's not 1 in 6. Except maybe among certain groups of people (I don't know what those groups are).
Dr Ramani helped me to get out of a relationship with a narcissist before it got too deep, when I was at an extremely vulnerable point in my life after a break up, becoming unemployed and my mother becoming terminally ill all in the same year that covid hit. This person could not have cared less about how vulnerable I was and instead saw it as an opportunity. Thank you Dr Ramani for shedding so much light on this issue so that I was able to escape before that person destroyed any more of my days.
It's a mixture of relief that "I knew wasn't crazy!" and sadness of "shit... so much time/ energy wasted" from knowing just how much I relate to what she's talking about. Cheers to everyone picking up where they left off as a result of identifying/ confirming/ overcoming said narcissism in their lives🤝🥂
My spouse ( Narcissist) has yet been able to answer my questions of curiosity about how HE FELT in situations in his childhood. I asked him once, Have you EVER…in your whole life told someone the whole,complete truth?? Never did get a vocal response from him however the look on his face….?? Spoke volumes.😮
Doctor Ramani is a rock star on this topic. She delivers such a concise and digestible verbal portrait on the matter and it's been of tremendous help for me. Thanks so much for having her on.
I was with a man for 11 years who was diagnosed by a therapist with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it was awful. The gambling addiction , lying, cheating etc But you know what was tougher than being married to one?? Divorcing one. It literally almost killed me. That was 10 years ago and I still haven’t dated since and I doubt I ever will. I’m so afraid of getting involved with another one.
Thank you Dr Ramani for being so vulnerable in the end. I think it’s validating to see a strong woman have had something go wrong and bounce back. On top of everything you are so good at laying out complex subject matter in a digestible form. *hugs*
This lady is brilliant. I’ve personally noticed an increase in narcissistic behaviour in the last decade, particularly in young adults - a generation who grew up in an age of social media, and it’s actually understandable why it is so prevalent today. People are no longer just ‘Joe Bloggs’ they’re ‘@joebloggs’, they’re profiles and pages with an inflated sense of self / ego, addicted to the dopamine hit of a like on a post. This is where I believe modern narcissism develops so rapidly. Growing up in a world led by social media grooms narcissistic behaviour IMO. The sad thing is I don’t see a way of stopping it.
I don't necessarily agree but see your point. I'm not into social media, never have been but I also believe its more about parents keeping their kids humble
I completely agree, social media has created a huge level of self obsession among young people where they’re presenting something false to who they really are and so focused on putting themselves on display.
Dr. Ramani is one of the most articulate people I’ve ever witnessed. She even has command of the colloquial ways people say things (she uses words from current language that is almost slang. So expressive! Fast talkers intrigue me too, not a dull moment, I learned quite a bit about a topic I thought I was pretty well versed in.
@pumlabrook-thomae1301 Thank you. That's so kind of you to say. ☺️ I combined Dr. Ramani's videos with individual therapy. And now, I'm actually looking forward to being alone. Not because I don't want a partner in the future, but because I'm actually learning to love myself. 💕💕 2 years ago, I was suicidal. So, if there is anyone out there reading this that's in the thick of it, you don't have to live this way. 2 years seems like a long time when you're beaten down by your narcissist, but the time is going to pass anyway. You can be exactly where you are now, in 2 years, or you can be well on your way to loving yourself and being okay in your own company. And 2 years goes by so fast when you are steadily getting better and better. 💕💕
Me too! And suddenly he is doing everything he couldn't do after 9 years of being together .. he is also now going through depression, but I cannot continue... It has taken me a long time to take this decision, with 2 small kids. But he doesn't let me go and at times I'm scared but I have to do it.
@mgpet I'm wishing you all the best. I know it must be hard with 2 small kids. I have 2 boys, but they are 18 & 22. The good thing about small kids is, they will have a chance at a peaceful life. My kids didn't get that and are going to need a lot of therapy. If you are scared for your safety, please make the separation through a battered women's organization. That way you will be led in the right direction, and he's less likely to be violent if he knows you have support. I'm not sure what your thoughts are about custody. I wouldn't want him to start abusing your kids. My dad did that. My mom left. My dad managed to get custody for the sole purpose of hurting my mom. Then he really abused me and my little sister because he was a narcissist and we reminded him of my mom. Whatever you decide will be the right decision. Again, wishing you all the best. 💕💕
I have also been stalked and had my things stolen and then brought back. No one believes what you have endured as to anyone outside of the experience, narcassistic abuse is unbelievable. Thank you for validating my experience.
I'm a stalker. I don't have npd, psychopath or narcissism. I also don't have bpd, bioplar or autism. I'm apparently normal. My therapist that sexually exploited me said he thinks my victim was a psychopath.
Can I ask you all a favour? If you enjoy this episode, could you please hit the like button 👍🏾 it helps us massively. Appreciate you all! 🙏🏽
30 000 dead in Gaza, and you are still posting these empty vapid conversations about sex.
How was it interviewing a narcissist about narcissism? 😅 She even tried to put you down and into place when your questions made her feel like you were onto her. Scary eyes. Definitely a narcissist
Narcissists don't relate. Rather, they feel they are right and feel entitled to other people conforming to their agenda.
Narcissists can only demand conformanceships; they can't have relationships.
Narcissists can't cleave... they can be superficial, but they can't cleave... For context, the Money Power Allodials financed rusty iron filings into the food supply beginning in 1941. This toxic form of iron has never been in the food supply before. Morley Robbins is the expert on iron toxicity. He would be a great guest.
Daniel 2:43-44
43 And whereas thou sawest iron mixed with miry clay, they shall mingle themselves with the seed of men: but they shall not cleave one to another, even as iron is not mixed with clay.
44 And in the days of these kings shall the God of heaven set up a kingdom, which shall never be destroyed: and the kingdom shall not be left to other people, but it shall break in pieces and consume all these kingdoms, and it shall stand for ever.
@@freedomutopuia 💯💯 takes one to know one right!! 😂
Thank you so much for having me on your podcast!
I spent years studying narcissism, due to having grown up as the designated scapegoat. I spent years buying into this model of “recovery”, which only perpetuates the external locus of control and the belief that safety is found by identifying toxic people and avoiding them. This felt good, but did nothing for me. It was only through learning how to strengthen my boundaries and learning how not to absorb other people’s emotions, regardless of whether they were narcissists or not, that my life began to improve in drastic ways. That and changing my own self-concept.
The human ego in itself is narcissistic, all people are narcissistic to one degree or another. Some much more dysfunctional than others.
This idea that labeling and identifying narcissists is some kind of revelation has lead to everyone calling everyone narcissists, further increasing division. Ironically, I’m seeing people on the extreme end of the spectrum now calling others narcissists.
You're an absolute force for positive change Dr. Ramani - change within us individually, and therefore change at a societal level. You've opened my eyes. THANK YOU!
Thank you for opening up.about the abuse💝💖💗💓🙏
I think some domestic abusive behaviors are traumatic triggers. Limbic behavior.
You have opened my eyes over the past few years. Great work 💕
This woman saved my life 5 years ago. No exaggeration.
Remember Trump changing the weather map so that the hurricane went the direction he wanted it to and then tried to cover it up and never admitted he was wrong?
Then spent 2 weeks Still Trying to CONVINCE us he was right.
ID THAT NARC ENCAPSULATION OTR WHAT?😊
as well. Insane unbelievable -- I mean...well you knowy..
Human experience.
A hot, high IQ , 2 Masters Degrees woman from. a moneyed Catholic family .
Flowers to her neighbors weekly ,smile line wrinkles mile long from 50 ye rs of the Narc mask triangulating me _ 2 of her exes in misty ingenious manipulation scheme ever. She knows I don't play m jig school games.
Walk outside...
Shs standing in rain. Soaking wet.
Trying to convince you that it's 80 Degrees an the sun is out.
And will NOT STOP until you relenqiish reality.
Ah. You sound like a vulnerable narcissist.
How? Did you agree to enter into a therapeutic agreement with her? An observable and accountable confidentiality covenant?
If not, she abused you, because she is not who she pretends to be and is causing serious damage on the Internet.
@@ashleywalker1411are you a narc that got found out cause of her knowledge?
A lot of these narc channels prey on "victims". They need you to forever think that you are a victim and in need of healing. Some have even admitted it. @@joycenichols6187
"if the behavior is unacceptable, it's unacceptable, I don't care about the back story"
Yes, indeed, Dr Ramani, if only we all saw it that way. Less people would be able to get away with horrendous acts against others.
People who grew up abused and didn't learn to love, who have a predisposition to be unempathetic, may have no choice about being jerks. They still need to suffer consequences for crimes or more crimes get committed and destroy civilization.
@@anarcho-communist11 I used to be of that mind. That someones back story not only explains their behavior but justifies it. I no longer see it that way.
It's also irrelevant them getting punished because it does not change the impact they have on other people's lives.
Unless you are walking around with blinkers on, you will soon learn as an adult that something is not right with yourself and that maybe how you go about things is not okay. It's up to that individual to take responsibility for their actions no matter how they got to that state because facts are, no one else has the power to do so like themselves!!!
It's funny that she is the biggest narcissist of all and her content does nothing but breed more of them. But none of them will see it because they're… by definition, NARCISSISTS, lmao. Ramani is just their supply. It's so embarrassing that none of them see it but she's bred the exact audience she wants to create. Constant supply on both ends. Can't say it's not genius.
@@kaizen_5091 well said. I got sucked into or manipulated/gaslit into their traumas until someone once reminded me that I had been and was going through narc traumas abuse far worse and I wasn't using it as an excuse to be nasty and irresponsible or victimhood. Narcs choose to ignore the initial moral conscience till it no longer works. As adults we're definitely responsible for our choices.
I always said "he acts like a Dick but he's accually not" until somebody said "if he always acts like a Dick... he is just a Dick" and that person was soo right 😅
This woman saved me several times during 2 narcisistic relationships.I survived,there is hope of a better life.Never give up and inform and educate yourself.
most women are narcissists ngl
Just curious how you ended up in a second one? Did you not recognize the signs?
"In God WE trust" is never lonely
@@mark2073 No, we don’t. Some are different. I was married for 22 years to one, but he wasn’t as covert as the second one. I had no idea until the second one how bad life can be and it’s horrible. I will completely lost all self discipline self worth value. It was the worst I walked away with a broken wrist, torn meniscus, and a check to 2024 in San Diego, California. I wondered where all my friends on social media where did they recognize those are posting every day and then my friends realize I was in an abusive relationship? Abuse is real and it sucks.
@@619mom I beg you to please watch HG Tudor's thousands of educational videos on narcissism! He explains how to remove yourself from a narcissist completely! He talks about marriages, children, loved ones, and friends that are involved in a narcissist's relationship. How to escape for good. God bless you!
As a mental health professional and survivor I LOVE this woman. Listening to her is the opposite of being gaslit
Aren't you perfect!
@@wattsy6303 Oh thank you. That's sweet x
You are a reflection of everyone you hate and disagree with. You or I are not perfect and are more alike then not, because we are HUMAN.
maybe when yous realise this you'll have more love and understanding which means less division and seperaton which means not as much need for condemnation of others choices and or brain chemistry through the derogatory label of "narcissism"
Much love to you ❤
Yous LOVE division and you LOVE being a victim as it makes you feel better and more important than others
The exact thing yous blame Narcs for doing! 😂❤
@@wattsy6303 Were these comments for me? It sounds like you are having quite a big reaction. You mention "hate", "division", "derogatory", "condemnation" and seem to be projecting onto me some narcissistic stuff about being "perfect". This was in response to someone sharing gratitude to the interviewee. I'm not quite sure what's going on there with your response. Sounds like you are having some big feelings though and I'm very curious!
It's true. The #1 sign is if the person takes accountability. If they do and apologize/ change behavior, that is a normal person. Narcissists never take accountability and would rather deflect, shift blame, or lie. An asshole is also just mean and rude, but a narcissist is more manipulative and can often be very sociable and charming and well-liked by people who only meet them on a surface level.
Soo true🥹
Yep this is a massive red flag. I know for a personality style to be narcissistic lots of ‘ingredients’ need to be there but anyone who demonstrates this needs to be put on someone’s mental ‘watchlist’ .
Yes, exactly, if a person genuinely takes accontability, it is not narcisism. Thanks for claryfying.
Not really I’m narcissistic but I take accountability 😂😂 I believed I was god before I even knew religion idk maybe I am the messiah
My narc was pretending accountability and "sorry" etc, only to manipulate and do the same again. My narc was pretending to listen or empathize... In reality my narc was just taking a step back only to attack and dominate again... Very sad
I just changed a profile picture in my phone for one of my contacts from a handsome face to "never defend, justify, explain or overshare." It will remind me every time the contact calls that I have the option to decline, block or completely remove them from my contact list. Baby steps are slowly giving me my life back.
fantastic idea!
Share the meme?
Brilliant!
Non attention seeking people simply block the number. Have you tried that?
he is a he, not a them
“We’re having a different experience” is absolutely GENIUS
No exaggeration when I say she’s a life saver. Thank you for bringing her on your podcast.
I came here to say the exact same thing!
IKR ❤❤❤
Bought her book last week!
Amen. I love Dr. Ramani!
Like for real though ❤❤❤
The hardest thing to explain to people who have not lived with a narcissist is the behavior of the vulnerable or covert narcissist. These people appear "normal" but when you are intimately connected to them they are judgmental, will unfairly target other family members for their hate, will love others only conditionally and if you don't comply with their vision of your life they will reject you, they will emotionally withhold from their children and put unfair expectations onto their children. They are highly damaging to children.
you hit the nail on the head. They have so much disdain for their family members who do not measure up to their standards, and most times, the family member doesn't know.
You just mentioned what literally everybody is like deep down. Your love is indeed conditional even though your comment suggests otherwise. The talking trash about family is 1 I don't like but it's so common it's not even worth bringing up. I think this whole narcissist trend on the internet has become an excuse for people.
100%
@@ONETimothy2.12-14 Wow imagine outing yourself like this lol!
Does everyone have certain standards? Yes. Is it common to feel disappointed if those standards aren't met? Yes. Is it normal to *stop loving someon* just because those standards aren't met? Absolutely not!
*That's* the type of conditional love we're talking about here. Not stopping loving someone when you finally realise how badly they've been abusing you - that's just prioritising self-love and boundaries.
@JBUHJBUH All you did was linguistic gymnastics to avoid taking accountability for your "conditions" for love. You think I outed myself when you are the one outing your covert narcissism. You have an entire checklist that puts you in a position of power in a relationship and if your man takes that from you you will immediately lose interest.
This woman saved my life. Long live Dr Ramani
Mine too! 🎉 She is a blessing.
Me too 🎉
Me too!!! ❤
Me too 😊 from PTSD to Peace. Namaste 🙏
The father of my child is a narcissist, he treated me absolutely horrendously while I was pregnant with our daughter. I was a delivery driver for Domino's at the time and during my deliveries, I would listen to Dr. Ramani talk about narcissism and she helped me distinguish what was actually going on and she helped me start to develop mental strong guards to help protect myself , she truly helped me during that time of my life when I was going thru that.
Working with a narcissist was the best thing that ever happened to me, changed my life for the better. I had to shake off the things that had held me back my entire adult life, I am now more aware of manipulation the second it starts. I have given up on being understood, and value the understanding I have with myself. I realized that my best version of my self was despised by these people, and so I stepped in to that version of me.
I know what you meant. Since I could be aware of my narc partners, while getting out from them, I could get into my childhood where I was abused by narc parents.
love this! good on you =)
This comment is so stupid
Thank you for sharing this. This is my desire and hearing you speak your victory gives me extra light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you!
@kay6692 thank you 😊🙏💓☺️💖😘😊🙏you validate that I'm doing good 👍
I am a narcissistic survivor, and it wasn't even a family member, but strangely a co-worker. Even if it was for a short term, I was very much so psychologically damaged which took me years to recover from. It's so important that the world is well versed in this world of narcisism. Watching Dr. Ramani's videos during pandemic helped me further heal and come to understand that time of my life. Thank you for inviting her!
Me too it’s very damaging
I was exactly the same. Co-worker too, who ended up as my best friend that I then realised was actually a narc and I was the codependent one! Dr. Ramani, saved my life!!
I'm still in the situation. Getting a job and background checks seems to be siding him. Tarnishing reputation
I think I can relate to this. I also have a co worker that gave ma PTSD. She always makes me feel that I always do things wrong, I always make mistakes (even if I do my best in the job) . She is the Hero/protagonist at work and I am the villain. It feels like she steps on me each day to make her the one loved by everyone. She is the nice, most lovable, helpful one and I am the most useless... No one has ever made me feel that way.
I work with a covert narcissist who recruited other narcissists & alphas to her circle. She is a control freak who has no boundaries to maintain her facade & power over 😅others. It's a daily struggle to keep my wits from falling into their pitfalls. My biggest defense is silence, inner integrity & distance.
After dealing with a narcissist, I decided to prioritize my mental well-being by working remotely. It's helping!!😇
THIS!❤
What I find most interesting about this amazing podcast is, did any narcissists watch it and realise they are narcissists and how did that knowledge affect them? 🧐
Running away from problems isn't going to fix it for ever
My dream job is a remote one! I just can’t stand the narcissistic work culture where the narcissistic and psychopathic ones rise to the top.
@@Hkizzie
In no way do or will they ever accept that they r narcissists....ever. They can't be fixed because they r everybody's best friend and that's their reality......they r wonderful in their own mind just because they help a homeless person or give to Charity and make sure everyone knows they r doing that. It's a nightmare of a life if ur the partner.
I was 61 years old when I met my first Narcissist. I didn’t understand what was wrong with us. He was very charismatic at first. But, after several months of dating his true colors began to emerge. Behind closed doors he was mean. Verbally abusive. Emotionally abusive. Lies constantly. Blamed me for everything that went wrong. Then, I would leave and the Love bombing would begin. My advice: Leave and don’t ever go back. It will be hard to do. But, you must! And, I must ❤❤❤Be strong
Once you’ve experienced it once you recognise all the little red flags forever after. When it seems too good to be true that is because it is !😊
Idealize, devalue, discard
Dr. Ramani's insights on narcissism are incredibly valuable, especially in the professional world. Entrepreneurs should be aware that narcissistic traits can sometimes be mistaken for confidence, which is appealing in leadership. However, true success comes from collaborative efforts and emotional intelligence, not just assertiveness or charisma. It's crucial to differentiate these qualities when building a team or choosing a mentor.
🎉❤
Insights coming from the fact she herself is one. Look at the eyes. Clear as day. Not to say her advice is bad but she's doing this all for self gratification not from the heart
@freedomutopuia so looking at someone eyes enough of reason to label someone a narcissist?
@@thomasashleyorrelll no I've watched a number of her videos. Do you disagree?
Yup. Well said
Couldn’t click faster when I saw Dr Ramani in the thumbnail. Her response to the question at the end got me. Even strong people have vulnerable experiences. She was strong for sharing
Am so glad he got her here!!! Yeeeiiii...I can't wait for ppl to learn what I ve been learning from her for years
She's my hero
if you have encountered any of these evil narcissist the book The path forward surviving a narcissist by Lisa Scott, The sociopath next door by Dr Martha Stouth and Lovefraud by Donna Anderson are excellent informative books.
I love you too❤️🔥♥️
She saved me from harmness of a person.
Same. Not only that, but she’s helping me to REINFORCE these boundaries I’ve put up against two separate narcissists; one being a former love interest and the other one being my estranged, abusive, controlling mother who I have not spoken to in ten years. Both of the narcissists in my life I’m thinking of knew no boundaries. If they knew I put one up, they’d just trample over it anyway. Then had the gall later to complain about their boundaries and limits. Ugh, the double standards!!
harm or harmfulness
She saved me from a harness
She harnessed me to her blame game.@@marcusolsen96
I am a narcissist and it has driven me to excell in selected areas that get me admiration. The areas where I could not excell at, like music, I quickly abandoned. I sculpt and do pastel portraits that wow people. That is through great effort over many years (obviously seeking admiration). I worked and manipulated the system in the Air Force to not become just a pilot but a “Fighter Pilot”. At 80 years of age, it is fascinating to analyzing a life of this. An amazing woman has managed to stay with me for 57 years. I am watching this for her (and Jesus).
Nice buddy
Amen!
You’ve won a lottery of life.
If you’re open to discussion and questions, I would love to hear more from your wife and I am interested to know what do you both believe kept you together to this day? 😊
I don't think you're a narcissist just because you manipulated people, and I doubt narcissists will even admit they're one, and the fact you're watching this video shows how aware you are, and your wife staying and all shows that you might not be a narcissist.
This woman....is my HERO!!! She put SO many things in perspective for me and my family regarding a Narcissistic family member. YEARS of emotional abuse and drama...and now we know exactly how to deal with this person. Dr Ramani saved us!
It's funny that she is the biggest narcissist of all and her content does nothing but breed more of them. But none of them will see it because they're… by definition, NARCISSISTS, lmao. Ramani is just their supply. It's so embarrassing that none of them see it but she's bred the exact audience she wants to create. Constant supply on both ends. Can't say it's not genius.
They get pleasure out of it because they need supply to feel alive.
In 100 minutes this doctor told the story of 18 years of my life with my narcissistic ex. I lost 18 years of my adult life. My best years. I had no thoughts left at the end of this interview. Just regret and sadness and the hope more people find their way out of the misery that narcisism is.
I'm with you on this. Mine lasted 17 years and left me feeling just the way you did
Your sadness is understandable…. Give yourself a victory that the person is your ex. You haven’t totally betrayed yourself. That’s a win for you 😊
Your sadness is understandable…. Give yourself a victory that the person is your ex. You haven’t totally betrayed yourself. That’s a win for you 😊
I hear ya. So sorry that happened to you.
i supprt you and all of you on your journey rebuilding and finding your true authentic self because i've been thorugh the same, now building myself up again. Please reach out to me if u need support.
I think this exact content should be included in the curricula of schools around the world. It would save a lot of young people from developing low self-esteem because of narcissists in their lives and help them recognise red flags before stepping into bad relationships later in life.
The awareness is important. The frightening part though is with 1 in 6 people being narcissists, who can we trust, where are we going to find normal people? Narcissists seem to dominate everything and everyone. They are usually celebrated, embraced, and loved making it hard for normal people to be seen and reached.
I'd like to see in schools Zamolxis laws and Zamolxis laws of life - on TH-cam.
True.
@@Godchild876please don’t quote that number. It’s just what she feels like with no proof. I don’t know 6 people who I can confidently predict might have narcissism. I can think of maybe 3. But no one in my life is actually diagnosed.
Unfortunately, academia is riddled with narcs :(
I was with one for 15 years. Confirmed by a marital psychologist. A PhD specializing in family and marriages. He had a high level of “traits” she said. “Not a true narc because he has some empathy” she said, but “he has a lot of traits”. All I know is till this day I’ve never been more afraid of a person like I have been and still am of him in my entire life.
They are known to fake empathy because they can look more normal and fit in better. When someone doesn’t care about others they can do anything so we should be afraid. Sadly. So glad you got out!!
Dr. Ramani's insight always hits different, especially when it's about vulnerability. Strong people have vulnerable moments too.
absolutely! and watch out for psych-ologist profession
@@user-bn4nc9fc8r ironic since ramani is one of the biggest hacks of the industry
Saved mine 3 and half years ago
My comment was censored yet again. Surprise
strong people or narcissists?
It doesn’t get better than Dr. Ramani. She’s saved my life countless times making me feel seen and heard. She’s also incredibly humble. So much respect for what she’s doing! 💖
Did her books help you or watching her videos?
Dr Ramani saved my life. Her new book It's Not You is a gamechanger in the healing paradigm. Understanding narcissism is now the key for living a peaceful and happy life.
Omg I need help
Dr. Ramani is truly a gem, she’s really insightful and Truly wants to assist all People!
I bought Dr. Ramani's book and it is excellent. "It's not your fault." These narcs unravel even the strongest and most competent people. It's like being hypnotized or a kind of Stockholm Syndrome.
I resonate. Namaste 🙏
So true
If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims.
You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you.
A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently.
Additionally, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done Metaspyhub@gmail. com.
You r probably quite rightin how to deal with narcs. The problem is you need to be so so strong to be able to stand so so firm n protect yourself. Not many people would have those skills/characteristics. I do…. But it still costs me as their crap never ends. Hopeless. !!!
@@eiehe93- boundaries don't work with narcissists they weaponize them.
🎉🩵𝐼 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑌𝑜𝑢🩵🩵𝐼 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑌𝑜𝑢🩵🩵𝐼 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑌𝑜𝑢🩵🩵𝐼 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑌𝑜𝑢🩵🩵𝐼 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑌𝑜𝑢🩵🩵𝐼 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑌𝑜𝑢🩵🩵𝐼 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑌𝑜𝑢🩵🩵𝐼 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑌𝑜𝑢🩵
The 'dealing with' depends on the context of the relationship, whether that is a workplace (and position within the work hierarchy), a family member, or a partner. The 'boundaries and distance' can be implemented to a degree with the first two situations, but not a partner, primarily because of the 24/7 nature of it, also the narcissist's goals (not the right word). I have the experience in all three of those situations.
With the workplace one, he was my boss in a small organisation, so hard to avoid, but it sorted itself out by being invaluable to him, so he backed off with the BS games, plus I already knew about narcissism, so I did not take it personally. With the family member, boundaries can work to a degree (but generally those boundaries are more about limiting exposure, and being aware of the manipulation going on, again just putting up a mental wall against it whilst nodding along with their emotional manipulation). The final situation of partner is difficult to manage, and it depends on the abuser and their motivations. Certainly once realisation happens you can emotionally wall yourself off (without really letting on that is what you are doing), but as for setting boundaries, that is a hard 'no'. Boundaries (or leaving, threatening to leave) is when most get killed, because your boundaries are cutting the narc supply. Some DV abuser narcs just want you there as a 'pressure release' or punching bag so they can appear Nice Guy to outside world, but take out their frustrations and disappointments at home. For others their motivations are the ultimate power and control over another, and it is their mission to 'break you' as a person. The latter type generally more dangerous.
So it really is dependent on context. There is no magical setting of the boundaries and it will all work out okay, it is both situational and depends on the actual narcissist or abuser.
I was in a narcissistic relationship for many years. Now that I'm free of it, I can identify the behavior quickly. When you're inside of the relationship, it feels like a prison.
Yeh you have different eyes. A handful of conversations and you can be absolutely sure without a doubt.
Yeah and you'll be identifying it everywhere and with everyone that is connected to you in a way that matters. Because you still haven't figured out what your part of the problem was.
@@ONETimothy2.12-14 I grew up surrounded by them! So, it was normal for me. Learning to expect and receive more from people has been a wonderful challenge!
@@Jakob19thmmm I think your ideas of what that would look like has been wonderful to you. Being around people where your performance or utility matters for any reason at all will prove to be much more difficult to control.
Or it is a prison
First time in my years of chronic mental abuse by parent and sibling...my feelings got validated by listening to what Dr.Ramani explored.
Long live Dr. Ramani 🙏
She’s all over TH-cam, her own channel and guest appearances. As someone that has/is going thru the same dynamic you speak of, I suggest whenever you’re not feeling validated or maybe gaslighted, or when they mirror & hijack your good values, while projecting their insecurities onto you to own, or devaluing you and then discarding when you standup for yourself, sending the flying monkeys and smear campaigners your way 😢🤦🏻♀️👀😮💨 the terms are wild but so real! Anyways, when this is all happening find one of her videos (or other content creators online, or redit forums) and in no time you’ll be feeling better. Just don’t let them make you doubt your reality or completely break you down! God bless and I hope you’re having a great weekend! 🙏💜
This episode was so good, thank you for this!!! Is it just me or can anyone else just listen to Dr Ramani all day? I admire the way she speaks, its so calming ☺️
The line about how individuals ''may give up on their path of education'' gave me goosebumps of relatability.
Same! That one hit hard. 20 years later, I’m finally picking up where I changed majors and never felt better.
Unfortunately, same!
Same! 😣🥺
My narc father was a teacher for 40 years. He made sure I got a grade 7 education, nothing more.
I was raised by a narcissist and never had the luxury of planning for - or even just daydreaming about - my future. Every waking moment was just “How do I protect myself? How do I avoid pain and fear?” It consumed me. And I’m so fucking angry about it that I chose to take my life back. I’m starting school next week at 23 yrs old
This empathic, brillian, beautiful woman, was the catalyst for all the good and positive changes I've made within myself. She, single handedly, is the reason I am still alive today. Such huge thanks to her, from me, and my children and loved ones.
She needs to be protected, at all costs. ❤❤❤
❤❤❤
I was in a relationship with a narcissist and was gaslit to the point that I didn’t know who I was anymore. The best decision I made was to get out. Thank you Dr Ramani.
I am so sorry! Same thing happened to me! But I am so grateful that it happened, because now I know how to handle that type of “people”
Totally! I can smell narcissists and manipulators from a mile off now. Won’t fall for that again!! Sorry to hear it happened to you too but I am glad you turned the experience into a positive one.
@@gemmas5962 ❤️🙌🏼🙌🏼
I was also I did not know what a narc.really was,iam very well educated on the topic now & stoll learning, it was strange.
Had a friend who was a survivor and they were reduced to a shadow of themselves. Couldn’t make a simple decision and worst of all were so unsure. Information and knowledge is the “only” protection. it can take months to really understand this stuff and once you understand, you will know why they keep going back to their abusers. So many survivors get dropped when their friends find out they have returned to their abusers, just when they need them “most.”
Dr Ramani knows her stuff! And was a survivor. There are lots of women perpetrators too but they don’t get as much press. Women survivors are much more open, commutative and vulnerable about their abuse so the perception is that men are most of the perpetrators. It’s a human problem! Men are likely perceived as weak to let a woman dominate/abuse them too. But it’s all manipulation.
Dr.Rami saved my life . I was under the thumb of a full blown Narc and I was financially trapped. Did i continue to educate myself from other licensed bonifided sources. Of course I did. Now i know who to let in my life and who to walk away from. ❤THANK YOU DR!
She speaks so fluently and is so lovely to listen to
Reading through these comments, I'm deeply moved by how many lives Dr. Ramani has touched, including mine. Her wisdom and courage inspire us all to face our own struggles and emerge stronger. Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for being a beacon of light in the darkness.
Omg imagine if Dr Ramani had given up her education because of her terrible experience at uni! Because of this one narcissist we wouldn’t have this wealth of knowledge that has changed my life and by the looks of the comments section many, many others! Well done to her! She really is amazing! I’m so glad she never gave up on herself with such odds against her!! Thank you so much Dr Ramani! To anyone reading this you never know the impact your life will have or is having, so please stay true to your authentic self and keep going no matter what! 🎉❤
I believe I'm learning the hard way....blessing to you
2:53 why it matters
3:56 the cost
5:57 personality
10:35 definition
12:53 bad days
14:03 afraid to express needs
14:31 asshole
15:26 can’t change it
17:15 gender specific
19:43 grandiose
22:15 psychopathy
22:50 communal narc
25:14 how many people
27:41 social media
31:06 podcast
33:01 temperament
36:50 spectrum
39:33 is it ever worth it?
41:22 empathic innovator
47:48 how to know who’s one
51:06 attracted to narcs
54:32 are you dating one?
55:03 slow burn of who am i
56:15 three r’s
59:37 empathy vs perceptive
1:00:30 pathological manipulation
1:01:41 projection
1:02:25 side piece
1:03:24 their inner workings
1:05:04 feedback
1:06:44 gaslighting
1:09:25 DARVO
1:11:31 stop gaslighting
1:14:02 domestic violence
1:16:05 narcs at work
1:18:25 getting out
1:19:31 acceptance
1:20:56 finding others
1:22:47 can’t be happy
1:23:46 performative lovers
1:25:01 what they’re scared of
1:26:28 authentic
1:27:28 famous narcs
1:29:16 magic
1:32:42 healing
1:34:59 darkest day
1:32:35
1:18:31
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dr. Ramani for making the distinction that all Domestic Abusers are indeed, Narcissists. I never knew what Narcissism really was, until I started listening to you. My abuser went into a treatment program for Domestic Abuse...and learned to abuse me in ways in which he couldn't get caught, or arrested. The abuse never stopped, because he was a Narcissist.
Yup - they are very clever, aren't they? I, also had an abuser - and his family - who cleverly escaped detection, esp. because they were so skillful at lying that they engaged in Swatting - they would abuse me - then call the police - on me! The police even ordered me to undergo a mandatory drug test in the hospital, after I had the anxiety attack, after being Swatted! One of the many incidences of clever abuse.)
It's funny that she is the biggest narcissist of all and her content does nothing but breed more of them. But none of them will see it because they're… by definition, NARCISSISTS, lmao. Ramani is just their supply. It's so embarrassing that none of them see it but she's bred the exact audience she wants to create. Constant supply on both ends. Can't say it's not genius.
Abusers are abusers, having NPD has nothing to do with it. She's just pathologizing her own disorder because she fears it. She sees herself in it. It's so embarrassing.
I’ve seen this behaviour in people who are actually taking nasty advantage of church groups who think they are helping this poor innocent person who can’t help themselves. I’ve also witnessed Burn Out of paid or unpaid caregivers as a result of this. Always be aware!!!
Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
Safe People by Henry Cloud
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
My experience was that the abuse got worse AFTER I left with the children. It was a decade of agony after leaving. (It took 7.5 years to get divorced.) When a person has a lack of empathy, they can be unbelievably cruel and vengeful. They don’t care how much they are hurting you and the children. You can’t abuse the mother of your children and then expect it will not affect the children, especially when she is the primary caregiver. The consequences of narcissism reverberate throughout the decades. It is very sad to witness (as a mother who wants the very best for her children and wants them to thrive). I hope that more and more people can recognize narcissism so they can avoid getting into a relationship with a narcissist (whether it is NPD or high narcissistic traits e.g., 4 out of 9). I wish the very best to the survivors of narcissistic abuse. There are many of us out there. Thank you Dr. Ramani for all you have done to educate people about narcissism.
Thank you. I am desperately trying to survive having just left and gone no contact from a parental narcissist while first fighting for my life and listening to Dr. Ramani hours daily because her work is the only thing that may be saving my life.
Dr. Ramani‘s description at the beginning of this interview is bone, chilling for it is apt, direct, accurate. it is only a scratch at the surface and she is 100% accurate.
I havnt talked to my mother in years. My brother and I broke contact with her before we knew what narcissism was other than the general idea of it. Looking at my childhood and relationship with my mother everything makes so much sense. I feel peace knowing I'm free
I hear you…I distanced myself from a narcissistic mother and can’t tolerate being around her so it ended up being no contact. I found a therapist who asked the right questions and helped me put the pieces together for myself. I was in danger of ending myself because she made me feel like a terrible person. She murdered my soul. Moving in a positive direction but definitely grieving so it is slow going
Thank you for what you wrote and taking the time to share. I needed to hear this exactly as you shared and today, of all days. Thank you.
I’m so proud of you for fighting for yourself. I’m praying for you.
@@gwendolyn79 thank you for words of encouragement. I think the deepest cut of all it’s not being able to save a parent from killing themselves and then the biggest gift has been realizing there is nothing I can do. When my horse leans on me when we’re trimming his feet sometimes I will step out from under him and he will fall because he’s leaning too much of his weight on me. I’m trying to look at this the same: kindly walk away forever and recognize she will either choose to fall or put her other foot on the ground without destroying me and crushing me.
Thank you for your kind words.
I fervently believe it would benefit our society to teach our children, in an age appropriate way, about personality disorders including narcissism, antisocial personality disorder and substance abuse disorders. I am grateful that I read a book a few years before I met the malignant narcissist I dated. It didn’t save me from the relationship, but it saved me from being more damaged. I was able to externalize his behaviors. Education is just such an important piece for the survivors. These personality disorders are no joke and can be very dangerous. We need to prepare our children for encountering this kind of individual.
I absolutely agree
We have been taught about these people - in books, in fairy tales, great Russian literature is about these people, warning us all the time. You know what it's called - it's called evil. It's all over the scriptures of various religions. We have just santized and medicalized our morality too much to call it what it is.
I absolutely agree. Children, particularly females, need to understand how the patterns and traps work. We also need to stop with the fairy tales because we are setting our daughters up to walk right into abusive situations. If I had known thirty/forty years ago what I NOW know, I could have had a different response.
This is an ignorant and cruel comment. I don't think we should teach our children to stigmatize the mentally ill. You can teach about mind games and dark manipulation tactics without demonizing an already marginalized group of people.
@@catherineblair550 they aren't mentally ill. they are evil, literally they are demonic. predatory in every sense of the word. to look at them as mentally ill is a delusion that prevents you from seeing the evil. they aren't marginalized - they are vastly more powerful and influential than your average decent person on the street, both interpersonally and socioeconomically. they have no empathy, no conscience, no compassion for anyone. they exploit and destroy without remorse. and they get away with all of it bc no one has the power to combat them or defend against it.
Oh my God! Your answer to that last question!!!! I would like to share my story and what i am still experiencing in Jamaica. Thank you!!!! It is true. I am not crazy!!!! No police, church family, blood family, no counselor, no teacher, no pastor, absolutely no one but God and now you. I am and was never alone. Praise God!
In a society like America that breeds and encourages Narcissistic personalities, learning to spot them and how to deal with them is crucial for your mental health and personal safety.
Yes , these two send mixed signals, especially when he had a porn star teaching about orgasims on his show, so lonely, People
Been following Dr. Ramani for years. Recently dodged a rusty narcissistic bullet thanks to her teachings. When I realized what was happening, a Sista’ went NO CONTACT, immediately.
Thank you!
When she explained the gaslighting thing, I got goosebumps. Happens to me in my current relationship a lot and I never understood why I felt this way. Thank you for this episode!
It's so powerful to have this explained because being in a relationship where you are gaslit creates so much anxiety and lack of self trust. I hope you find healing and are able to move away from this relationship 🙏🏻
In 2023/2024 Dr Ramani’s online content on TH-cam saved my life and helped me leave an untenable relationship with a narcissist who also became addicted to drugs.
1 in 6 and I won the jackpot 😅
Parents, ex-mother-in-law and ex-husband are narcissists. Watched Dr.Ramani through my journey to break free. Won in court and saved my child’s life. She’s a blessing for all survivors!
2 parents, grandmother, aunt, cousin and her kids ,2 sisters, 1 niece, 2 step siblings, 1 stepfather, 3 romantic long term partners, every friend, and every narc in a workplace or social group has targeted me, several bosses, and about 1/3 of clients. Being groomed to be the scapegoat from childhood may have made me the magnet for every narc I came accross, and I only learned about it in the last 9 yrs, but I think narcs are far more common than 20 %.
@@robinantonio8870 I would say your assessment you’re a magnet for narcs is right, and it seems there are more. But the number 1 in 6 will grow for sure.
@@robinantonio8870sure they were all narcs? Some issues/disorders overlap
2 parents, sister, her partner, mother in law, father in law, and potentially even my own partner 💔
My family is full of them too. There's a lot of experts that follow the theory it's a neurological disorder and not personality, that would make it hereditary. Would make a lot of sense...
Dr. Ramani saved my life 4 years ago. I thank God I bumped into your channel that time.
Good luck buddy
This woman saved my life 5 months ago
Now im free and happier than ever !!!
So many of us have derived so much strength through her, Dr. Carter, and Andrew's Channel
"Narc Daily" ❤❤❤
I avoided her videos like the plague because I didn’t want to confront the reality in my life. Thank you dr.R. You are doing a service to the world in talking about narcissists, truly
I've watched HUNDREDS of Dr Ramani videos on her personal channel, and yet I still learn something or hear something in a different way in EVERY video she puts out and interview she does with other people. LOVE HER!
Me too ❤❤❤
I’ve been following her for over 7 years, she’s the best of the best!
same and agree💯
Been watching her since 2016
Thank you so much. This is my other account.
Dr. Ramani saved my life 7 years ago. I found her channel on Utube.
It's funny that she is the biggest narcissist of all and her content does nothing but breed more of them. But none of them will see it because they're… by definition, NARCISSISTS, lmao. Ramani is just their supply. It's so embarrassing that none of them see it but she's bred the exact audience she wants to create. Constant supply on both ends. Can't say it's not genius.
Narcissists can seem like the most loving, charming and sweet people one minute with one person and then the next minute with someone else they’re mean, rude, dismissive and cold/callous.
Everyone has varying moods, but with narcs it’s like they’ve got varying personalities and you’re always uncertain and afraid which one will appear next.
They will never admit wrongdoing 99% of the time and even if they do, they will still blame you and make you think you had it coming.
Facts
You choose those men, so deal with it. If you can’t recognize an narcissist, you deserved to meet one because of your naivety.
@iklijkwelgekmetmijneigennaam isint blaming and resenting people who exhibit behaviors we deem as negative, based off faulty or underdeveloped brain chemistry which is largely out of their control in of itself narcissistic?.
Why not lead with love and understanding? And if can't do that just don't resound at all?.
Empowerment and positivity should not come from billing and shaming others, especially for things they can not control based off your own definitions.
@iklijkwelgekmetmijneigennaam Ah yes no accountability like in real life, just finger pointing a random person, sigh…..Never your fault because you met them, right? It’s their fault, right? I mean you choose them in the first place? But yet their fault, right? Neem wat verantwoordelijkheid in uw leven en stop met finger wijzen.
People should be evaluated before they're allowed to procreate. Narcissists shouldn't be anyone's parents. All of them are abusive and will abuse their kids and then make a lot of those kids become narcissists.
I am currently under attack by a neighbor who,is a narcissist. It is unsettling,. However, I have educated myself with many lectures such as this. . Thank you for your help.
Sounds like my scenario. It was a nightmare dealing with my narcissist neighbor in the adjoining townhome with hail damage. The only peace I've had in 4 plus years is when she had a tantrum and announced via email she's not going to talk to me anymore. One of the awful parts is creating flying monkeys with our neighbors. Whole armor of God around me 🙏
She saved my life!!! I have a narcissist sister and I had no idea what I was dealing with. I cried for help so long but no one listened to me as she said "you are so lucky to have such a sister"... I now cut all my communication with her and I never felt so happy and free in my life! I pray with Dr.Ramani for opening the doors for me day and night! 🙏 Please continue what you do, we all need you. ❤️
I'm here with you.. I went no contact for 8 months.. now I tolerate her at a distance.. she knows.. that I know.. what she is.. so she doesn't approach me. She abused me from 5 years old.. all through adolescence well until I was in my 30's until I cut off contact entirely.. now she operates around cousins and siblings.. I'm fine with that.. but I'm not the whipping girl anymore..
Exactly same here.
OMG thank you. I feel like crying. I am a 54 year old man. I have spent my whole life attracting The Narcissist. Thank you.
I hope you no longer attract those evil beings!
Either ur not setting boundaries r some parental childhood shit where it's all yk. Be conscious
Bless you. Know exactly how you feel. I'm a 54 year old woman who does the same. X
Read : co-dependent no more, no more Mr . Nice guy
I am attracted to them, and then get addicted to them!!
Ugh… I wanted to hug her at the end… no matter how strong and capable we are, at the end of the day, we’re human and trauma cuts so deep 😢 kudos to her for continuing with her education and helping others heal
Steven, I so appreciate your style of interviewing. I love that you mostly listen and allow the person you're interviewing to share their wisdom. There are some famous interviewers that I feel do just as much talking as a person they're interviewing and often interrupt that person. So thank you for being an awesome, respectful listener and asking really poignant questions.
I had a narcissist in my life for about 6 years. This woman's lectures opened my eyes.
The videos of Dr Ramani literally SAVED MY LIFE! Thank you Steven for such a great guest and super important topic ❤️❤️❤️
Something that seems to have been missed in the definition of "a narcissist" is that narcissism is a defence against shame. These people lack the skills to be able face those feelings of shame without it completely destroying their sense of self.
Only sometimes. Yes - some people are "hurt people who hurt people", but not always. In my experience, most of these individuals are simply sadistic psychopaths, in it "just for the game of it".
Yes you are right, people want to demonise narcissist, but it is a defence from shame, and they have very well established defenses that few see through. Most don't want to see it as they are too identified with being blameless victims.
@@jacquedaw know that we are not demonising the person, only the personality/disorder. if we were to demonise the person we might as well call them possessed. One should however try not to sympathise or empathise with them as that acts as a breeding ground for justifications and rationalisations of their behaviour. the issue is in our own perception unfortunately, if a child would show similar traits we wouldn't justify or pay much attention, but its the being a fully functioning adult that brings on the confusion as a child can't do us as much harm as an adult.
@@catspurr_98 It is just everyone who has an argument or a break up now labels the other as a narc, there is now a recognised condition called narcissistic victim syndrome. All this polarised good/bad - narc/empath duality does not show the full picture. Yes those with NPD have extreme protector parts who were formed when they were young children so they are immature and can be very damaging in an adult. But it is possible to have empathy and good boundaries. Those who end up victims of narcissistic behaviour usually have poor boundaries, are codependant or people pleasers, so they have work to do on themselves to see why they co create this toxic dynamic. If they don't accept responsibility and see themselves as blameless empaths preyed upon by evil narcs etc, then nothing will change. Both sides have a complete lack of acountability. In fact when someone starts going on about being an empath who is targeted by narcs, their lack of acountability and victim mindset often has me questioning if they have narcissistic traits themselves
@@catspurr_98 you seem like a great person, im not a narcisisist however you spell it, at least i dont think i am... anyways your insight on demonising the narc personality, and not the person, was the right formula I needed to understand .
I personally hope that oneday we cross paths and ill help you, because you helped me.
And if none has told you this, shame on them
You are loved you are kind
And even if you cant appreciate yourself or your art. I do. Go and have your self a good year 🎉🎉🎉🎉
This woman is awesome. Ive been listening to her videos for years. Shes helped more than any therapist. ❤
I know someone who is a narcissist. She knows it, and she's proud of it. She thinks it makes her better than others, almost like a super power. She thinks it doesn't make her a bad person, it makes her a smart person.
So she's a self aware narcissist. In some ways she's right. Depending on her intelligence, the narcissism would encourage her to climb the corporate ladder, crushing anyone in her way, thus obtaining her goals. Again, it's all down to the individual, intelligence, and awareness...
I was stung by a narc some time ago, and during my encounter, I always wondered why she made odd comments, and why my energy was always in a certain dynamic...
She was 37 but had the emotional Intelligence and conflict resolution ability akin to a 5 year old.... ie silent treatment, gaslighting etc etc... and then I stumbled upon Cluster B personalities and wow..... what a learning curve...
Even how my upbringing has set me up to be drawn to them...
There's only one golden rule needed when faced with a narcissist.
When you know, you go! (Get out, and stay out)
@aprilm, Just to let you know that narcissists are careless and have poor judgement. We have all experienced periods we have made a bad decision or we should have made a better choice. Believe it. She has seen days of accountability and in the future she will do so. The ferris wheel of life is always turning, except when it is turned off by an outside influence or circumstance. It happens to everyone and no one is exempt. Not even her. The variables to a narcissist is extreme codependency, obsessions, severe paranoia, delusions, intrusive thoughts that mimic hallucinations, compulsive behavior, easily manuplated by narcissists that are of the higher end of the spectrum such as the covert/vulnerable narc. vs overt/malignant narcissist (Dark Triad). Or a psychopath.
Part of my healing and recovery. Thank you for info on how to spot the difference: Non-Narcissistic is able to 1) Take accountability; 2) Make Amends & own their Behavior; 3) True Change of behavior and action. Every.Single.Time I listen, I learn. Thank you
Dr Ramani saved me 5 yrs back and forever grateful for showing me the path to my new life
Thank you for having Dr. Ramani. She is empowering those of us in relationships with narcissist. Those of us who have been so manipulated and badgered who are slowly getting back healthy boundaries and confidence.
Dr. Ramani is brilliant. Thank you for having her on. This lady has a deep understanding of human behavior.
When I finally got out of my physically abusive relationship, Dr Ramani was paramount to my healing. She's a life saver.
The narcissistic people will choose partners based on the qualities they do not possess and they envy - kindness, generosity, empathy, care, love. And then they will destroy these people out of spite because they know they can never be that for various reasons. My ex just said - you are too nice, you don`t even know how powerful you are, etc. Never let them devalue you! You are amazing souls being sucked into the empty darkness of heavily traumatized people and I hope whoever went or are still going through this, will find the way back to see your own true beauty!
This is totally right narcs area empty people who try to fill themself with the energy and kindness of others. I have been a victim of these narc. They are powerful and destroy, but I find that as soon as their victim stop the relationship and communication. She feels straight away lighter and happier. Don’t stay with a narc…run. Run, run.
Dr Ramani is continually saving me from considering toxic friendships and relationships.
I felt like she didn't need to share her trauma but thankful she did. I wanted to give her a huge hug of gratitude. Felt the guy didnt show much empathy.... 🔪 Definitely related to triggers and compartmentalising trauma and it coming back. What a healing person to still want to help others when most people are awful 🖤
This why we must reward people who show gratitude, not entitlement.
We use to give more to entitled people, and less to those who show gratitude when we give them.
1 in 6 equals about 17%, rounded up. Always knew that there is a higher percentage of narcissists than used to be acknowledged. It was a solid 37.5% in my family. Plus a borderline. So fully 50% of my family of origin was cluster B. My whole family life when I was young was unpredictable and unsafe. Have been no contact going on 12 years. Best thing I ever did for myself.
My family too. No contact 6 years ago.
10 years no contact with my mum and 8 years no contact with my sisters. I do not regret these choices. For newer people, don't let the FOG (fear, obligation or guilt) make decisions for you ❤
Yeah. There are tons of workplace and family tyrants out there that satisfy their narc urges at the cost of their environment. Everyone knows at least one or two. It definitely has to be more than one in ten.
It seems to me like it's less than that but I'd definitely agree at least 1 in 6 people is abusive. And I've felt for a long time that 1 in 3 people isn't really a good person.
One parent and one sibling so 40% in my case, then i attract them, figured that out thanks to Dr Ramani she helped me so much understanding thus complex smoke and mirrors pervasive issue.. hard to imagine no empathy, but they exist
She opened my eyes. I was having cardiac arrests and started developing unexplainable physical medical problems because my narcissistic abuse and being kept in fight or flight mode for 10 years.. I went through hell not understanding the link between my health and the abuse I was enduring, but ended the relationship when I started educating myself about neurodiversity and narcs; and found Dr Ramani's youtube page. I wish I knew how to contact her. She doesn't know how many lives she has saved.
Narcissistic people respects power. You can't have a relationship with them, but you can learn to be more powerful and they will be happy to behave and suck up to you like they do to people higher than them in hierarchy.
Have listed to Dr. Ramani for a while on YT. Not ever really had to deal with narcissism in close quarters but it has helped me be aware of people around me in order to avoid. Her work on BPD is extremely insightful too.
Keep up the good work Dr.
Her work in BPD is so so valuable! I hope she can come back and talk about it next time!
@@hingriduehli2421same! I’d love for her work to get broadcasted even further!
After encountering a narcissist and analyzing later in my life what kind of connection it was, I started to analyze people more deeply and now see all the defense mechanisms, sometimes traumas in other people as well as my own (always start with yourself) and life would never be the same😅 say thank you to the person who’s trying to warn you, not all the people are able to analyze the behaviors, she’s trying to help you to understand, not to blame 1/6 of the world.
It’s so nice reading the comments, knowing I’m not the only one benefiting from Dr. Ramani’s work. I’m so grateful for her persistence. 💝
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I am listening to her explanations and literally just want to cry.. ive been 6 years with narcissist constantly manipulating, blaming, yelling at me .. was hard to leave.. very traumatic.. i am glad i did find strength
Divorcing my narc husband in September!! I can’t wait to have my own place with peace after 25 years with this disgusting behavior!!!! I’m officially done!!!! ✅
Almost always a delusional woman behind these comments. Let me guess. You watched hours of feminist content and realized how bad you had it.
I left after 31 years has made all the difference!! Wish you the best along with many blessings coming your way! ❤
@@SherriJ-nl9ng ty
10 years here. She is getting served next week. Cross your fingers that she wont put up much of a fight. She is distracted by her new supply right now.
@@miguelsagal92 praying 🙏
Dr. Ramani is a treasure , a remarkable leader & teacher to millions of us. I feel protective of her upon hearing her darkest day. I hope the person who terrorized her years ago has by now met his comeuppance & some serious judgement. I'm sure I'm not alone in this wish. Rock on, Dr. Ramani, we love you!💖
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Dr. Ramani really empowered me to cut my mother off over a year ago. I still consistently deal with family questioning my decision and making me feel like a bad person for saving myself, because my mom is "sad" without me. It's a difficult change to deal with, but it is SO much easier than living in fear and walking on eggshells.
I went No Contact for 15 years with my mother.
However, I think that she was not a narcissist but emotionally immature partly because she was able to change,
This is my mum and I’m so grateful cause now I can spot a narc so quickly.. biggest thing for me is choosing the right father for my children. Downside is ur so suspicious of people the slightest wrong someone does walls go up and then u really have to dig deep..
Dr R-saved my life 3 years ago. She’s amazing! I adore her, I often think how many people she’s saved and doesn’t even know the impact she’s had on people’s lives. Still healing, but I’m awake and free !!
I swear bro. That's woman is a life saver. I dream to meet her one day
Radical acceptance is helpful in reducing suffering in the first instance but it also helps in that it withdraws power from the narcissist, so they do tone it down when they realize they will be left alone. You have to be careful never to get too cozy, though, because they slip back into old habits very quickly.
I agree with this. As long as they "don't have you" they will act civilized. But once they feel like you are vulnerable, they will switch up.
What I can see now is that many wounded by narcissism will see those with just healthy boundaries as narcissistic. I'm recovered from my 20 year abusive relationship, but I remember a neighbor telling me a healthy "no" to listening my Mary Kay sales pitch, and I was so upset, crushed, and felt she was unkind and selfish. Later, she told me she was struggling with cancer and just exhausted. But, I learned within myself, that I HAD healing to do. I have also heard insecure men, call confident women, narcissists. So, a damaged , hurt or "victim mentality" person, is definitely NOT qualified to identify a narcissist. It's so tricky and complicated to work yourself from a victim identity, but worth every excruciating step to clarity. And here, this lovely, smart teacher is for us! Thank you for work, your clarity and your message!!
Victims are usually biased. They have to learn more to take care of themselves. But actually it's a bad idea for a victim to become a psychologist.
@@nugget6635 I agree, an unhealed victim can become a bully/narcissist psychologist. But, I believe completely in an empathic person (who's been abused or traumatized or even gas-lighted by people they trust) who becomes awake, aware and strong and then lights the way for others. Leah Remini is a great example.
I really appreciate what you have to say here. I have three close female friends I hang out with, usually all together, I’m the only guy in the group. And it seems that all they can do is talk about how all of their xs are narcissists. It has had me feeling fairly jaded about narcissists. I asked them all if they considered me a narcissist, and we had a long discussion about it and they all vehemently rejected the idea that I was in the strongest possible terms and explained why. However I couldn’t help but feel that if I had dated any one of them and thing didn’t work out they would be sitting around having the same conversation about how I was always such a narcissist. One of them seems. Fairly healthy, the other two have varying degrees of past trauma they are dealing with. One of them has very intense early childhood trauma and a long list of past relationship baggage trauma that they work very hard to deal with. We all talk together about this stuff and they always send me videos from doctor Ramsey. I feel like these videos that they watch prime them to attribute narcissism where it doesn’t exist. Who knows. Maybe the ten people they have dated are all narcissists, but it seems a little bit unlikely. I think what you said about traumatized victims not being the best judge of who is actually a narcissist holds a lot of merit. I hadn’t considered that before, but it’s probably very true. Thanks for the comment, I really found it valuable
One thing to keep in mind is that out in the dating world "narcissists are very successful". Narcissists are charming and like to "win" and get their partners. It could be very likely that your dear friends indeed found that many narcissists, as sad and sickening as that sounds. They sweep us off our feet, razzle, dazzle until we're hooked and then the pain begins. We spend so much time figuring out where our prince charming went and how and what we did to disappoint them 😢. It's confusing and awful to figure it out and disengage. As a victim of narcissistic abuse, we could be healed or unhealed (victim mentality). You would have to gauge that among them, based on how they perceive their lives, other people etc. I'm glad to hear your friends are wise and won't be fooled again. And you're a great friend for sitting with them for their processing of it all! ❤
I feel like narcissism is another one of those cases where the (very small) minority has ruined things for a majority. Every misunderstanding is now due to the other person being a narcissist (on social media). Any difference, refusal to conform, is narcissistic. Any refusal to be part of someone else's life is narcissistic.
Out of all the people I've known in my life only a handful, about five I would classify as highly narcissistic. It's not 1 in 6. Except maybe among certain groups of people (I don't know what those groups are).
Dr Ramani helped me to get out of a relationship with a narcissist before it got too deep, when I was at an extremely vulnerable point in my life after a break up, becoming unemployed and my mother becoming terminally ill all in the same year that covid hit. This person could not have cared less about how vulnerable I was and instead saw it as an opportunity. Thank you Dr Ramani for shedding so much light on this issue so that I was able to escape before that person destroyed any more of my days.
I absolutely love seeing all the comments from people whose lives have been changed for the better thanks to Dr. Ramani - mine included! ❤
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Dealing with these types of people is so draining😢.
It's a mixture of relief that "I knew wasn't crazy!" and sadness of "shit... so much time/ energy wasted" from knowing just how much I relate to what she's talking about.
Cheers to everyone picking up where they left off as a result of identifying/ confirming/ overcoming said narcissism in their lives🤝🥂
Dr. Ramani's videos helped me out of an abusive relationship years ago and feel safe again she is amazing
My spouse ( Narcissist) has yet been able to answer my questions of curiosity about how HE FELT in situations in his childhood. I asked him once, Have you EVER…in your whole life told someone the whole,complete truth?? Never did get a vocal response from him however the look on his face….?? Spoke volumes.😮
How cab anyone choose to stay with a narc. Possibly for children. Those people should save their lives and try to get away.
Doctor Ramani is a rock star on this topic. She delivers such a concise and digestible verbal portrait on the matter and it's been of tremendous help for me. Thanks so much for having her on.
I was with a man for 11 years who was diagnosed by a therapist with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it was awful. The gambling addiction , lying, cheating etc But you know what was tougher than being married to one?? Divorcing one. It literally almost killed me. That was 10 years ago and I still haven’t dated since and I doubt I ever will. I’m so afraid of getting involved with another one.
Same here.
Ditto. Getting ready to go through a divorce as well. Any advice??😮
I hope you find peace
Same
U r not alone, im into div now but yeah, he fight all the way n make u confuse
Thank you Dr Ramani for being so vulnerable in the end. I think it’s validating to see a strong woman have had something go wrong and bounce back. On top of everything you are so good at laying out complex subject matter in a digestible form. *hugs*
This lady is brilliant. I’ve personally noticed an increase in narcissistic behaviour in the last decade, particularly in young adults - a generation who grew up in an age of social media, and it’s actually understandable why it is so prevalent today. People are no longer just ‘Joe Bloggs’ they’re ‘@joebloggs’, they’re profiles and pages with an inflated sense of self / ego, addicted to the dopamine hit of a like on a post. This is where I believe modern narcissism develops so rapidly. Growing up in a world led by social media grooms narcissistic behaviour IMO.
The sad thing is I don’t see a way of stopping it.
I don't necessarily agree but see your point. I'm not into social media, never have been but I also believe its more about parents keeping their kids humble
I completely agree, social media has created a huge level of self obsession among young people where they’re presenting something false to who they really are and so focused on putting themselves on display.
only aliens can save humanity now ~social media will destroy the world
Peace to all🙏🤍
Dr. Ramani is one of the most articulate people I’ve ever witnessed. She even has command of the colloquial ways people say things (she uses words from current language that is almost slang. So expressive! Fast talkers intrigue me too, not a dull moment, I learned quite a bit about a topic I thought I was pretty well versed in.
She saved me. I'm working on getting out of my marriage now. My mental health is so much better.
Thank you, Dr. Romani. ❤
Wishing you a future filled with peace and a loving future partner.,love.
@pumlabrook-thomae1301 Thank you. That's so kind of you to say. ☺️
I combined Dr. Ramani's videos with individual therapy. And now, I'm actually looking forward to being alone. Not because I don't want a partner in the future, but because I'm actually learning to love myself. 💕💕
2 years ago, I was suicidal. So, if there is anyone out there reading this that's in the thick of it, you don't have to live this way. 2 years seems like a long time when you're beaten down by your narcissist, but the time is going to pass anyway. You can be exactly where you are now, in 2 years, or you can be well on your way to loving yourself and being okay in your own company. And 2 years goes by so fast when you are steadily getting better and better. 💕💕
@@Chronically_Kimberly you’re welcome and thank you for sharing your story. This platform is gonna help so many people. It’s so powerful.
Me too! And suddenly he is doing everything he couldn't do after 9 years of being together .. he is also now going through depression, but I cannot continue... It has taken me a long time to take this decision, with 2 small kids. But he doesn't let me go and at times I'm scared but I have to do it.
@mgpet I'm wishing you all the best.
I know it must be hard with 2 small kids. I have 2 boys, but they are 18 & 22. The good thing about small kids is, they will have a chance at a peaceful life. My kids didn't get that and are going to need a lot of therapy.
If you are scared for your safety, please make the separation through a battered women's organization. That way you will be led in the right direction, and he's less likely to be violent if he knows you have support.
I'm not sure what your thoughts are about custody. I wouldn't want him to start abusing your kids. My dad did that. My mom left. My dad managed to get custody for the sole purpose of hurting my mom. Then he really abused me and my little sister because he was a narcissist and we reminded him of my mom.
Whatever you decide will be the right decision. Again, wishing you all the best. 💕💕
I have also been stalked and had my things stolen and then brought back. No one believes what you have endured as to anyone outside of the experience, narcassistic abuse is unbelievable. Thank you for validating my experience.
I'm a stalker. I don't have npd, psychopath or narcissism. I also don't have bpd, bioplar or autism.
I'm apparently normal.
My therapist that sexually exploited me said he thinks my victim was a psychopath.