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I wish my husband knew this.

Dont be patient... try to be yourself fully and stop playing games after a month maximum.. tell them to heal and grow up before opening up like that to a different guy and shedding tears..because that guy may be really able to give those cowards whst they are looking for. If they just want hook ups they can hook up much easily with most of the guys like that. Thats how you call their bullshit out and leave them something to reflect on and actually start taking responsibility to heal and not cause hurt anymore.

I disagree. In reality, it is outside that creating confusions

This is soooo informative....to those who say "this is me"...IF you truly desire to change, to feel better, to have improved romantic relationships....the steps are THERE....stop making excuses...KNOWING is half the battle...doing the work is the rest.

Thank you for sharing ur very insightful knowledge 🙏

Stop enabling these fucking people they are adults they need to cope there is no excuse for bad behavior

Walk away these people while some may be salvageable our blame, shifting black holes

I dont need my avoidant to fix her life so we can be together. I want us to be together so WE can help each other fix OUR lives

Great video!Good tips! thanks!

An avoidant partner is a covert Narc. Most likely they will never change unless they find the Lord.

❤

What a person wants and what they are attracted to are two different things

It’s hurts to think of life without my man, I never imagined it would get to this point where I would let go. I know I'm not supposed to write this here but I’m gradually loosing myself and I don’t know what to do. I’m still holding unto the beautiful moments we shared and I hope that he finds happiness.

Psychotherapist here… avoidants can yes have a stronger need for independence, but they often prioritize their own wants and needs over the needs of their partner and the relationship, they avoid emotional closeness, avoid conflict so they struggle to work through issues in a healthy way, and they struggle to hear feedback about themselves and how they show up that negatively impacts other people. Avoidants may do better in a relationship with another avoidant. If you have an anxious attachment style (this means people weren’t consistent, dependable, reliable with you) and you’re with an avoidant, they will trigger all your mental, emotional, and relational trauma. You want to develop self-security (the relationship with yourself needs to be healthy, consistent, reliable, dependable) and choose a securely attached person if you want to heal your anxious attachment style. Being with an avoidant is not going to do that unless they want to do the inner work to change their emotional and relationship patterns. I would never recommend someone tolerate avoidant behaviors. They’re not healthy for relationships nor healthy for emotionally neglected people with relational trauma. If you want to be in a relationship you have a responsibility to meet the emotional and relational needs of another human being. If you don’t want to do that, either date another avoidant or don’t be in a relationship. It’s not fair that people who have been neglected by others have to make all sorts of adjustments or accommodations to get an avoidant to show up in a relationship. Personally and professionally, I’m really bothered by videos teaching people how to deal with an avoidant. Everyone needs to be held accountable for the way they show up and relationships require you to contribute to the nurturing, care, and wellbeing of another human being. If you don’t want to be responsible for that THEN STOP DATING or at least be honest about the fact that you don’t want to meet the needs of another person and let that person decide if they want to continue seeing you or not.

Just curious can you be this way with friends and family but not intimate partners? As in having a defined proximity only with a partner

DON'T. STAY AWAY From them at all costs. They will come back and do the same crap again no matter what you tell them your minimum needs are. It is a waste of time.

So true

Why does the fearful avoidant have the greatest calling?

BINGO!

wow. i'm so amazed by you. what an amazing professional

3rd eye 😮 we have no 3rd eye God exist Repent

Want to reclaim your peace and power? 👇Checkout the link to my introductory training, for "Soul Attachments 101." Go from feeling stuck in toxic cycles to stepping into a life of clarity and self-love so you can finally live with the freedom and joy you deserve, in spritiually aligned relationships.💗 The link is in my bio, the video description, or you can check it out here: onlinecourses.brianamacwilliam.com/soul-attachments-101-opt-in

I'm trying

2 years i've been trying.. he just said ' i like to be secretive, but you need to trust me'

20:30 😂 Yes, you can just feel how people try everything just to avoid the truth and it feels bad, but it's GOOD information! 👌Thank you, Bri, for debunking this myth!

Do what? Nothing?

Dude!!!!! Honestly holy shit this helped me out so much because now I’m realizing I was not doing the right things in loving her and now I actually realize I’m kinda an idiot lol mannnnn I hope she comes back

Idk what to do. My man is my favorite person my , my best friend . He’s gas a lot of trauma in his life and was abandoned by everyone that was supposed to love him. I’ve shown him so much love and patience, I’m constantly doing things to make him happy and feel loved , because I genuinely do love him and making him happy makes me happy. The other day we had his birthday and had a wonderful time , he told me how in love he is and how perfect we are for each other . Then not even a day later he was different , avoiding me kinda, and then got super upset with me over a misunderstanding, we slept it off then the next day got mad again over something minor but his reaction didn’t make sense , of course I freaked out because I knew he was pushing me away . He’s never been like that towards me , then he broke up with me , and keeps brushing over when I point out how the reaction to how minor the situation is. How we never had problems but now he’s just walking away over what? He said “he thinks he’s not good for me” idk what to do . I’m hurting so bad because it literally out of nowhere, 3 days ago we were happy as ever. I can’t wrap my head around it. I told him I’m still here when he’s ready but idk what to do. I’m waiting for him to come back to me. He’s told me he’s a self sabotage and I know what he’s doing but I don’t know how to respond. Do I give him space ? And don’t contact him at all ? As of now I’ve been just sending a couple texts letting him know that I’m here when he needs me. And just random light hearted things . We talked on phone briefly today but he was with friends celebrating there birthday . Idk any advice

You lost me at the woo woo bs

So, stop being yourself. And be okay with NOT being supported emotionally,, while putting someone who hasn’t learned to have emotional intelligence, or won’t go to therapy to find out how to deal with their issues of the past.. putting their needs before your own. You have to consider them first. Got it👍🏼🤨

Ever wonder why it is that there are far more tools such as these videos to help people navigate a relationship with avoidants than there are videos to help the avoidants navigate their attachment to more secure? It’s because the vast majority of avoidants are never ever going to seek help. There should be far more videos on how to heal from a relationship with avoidants as well as how to heal secure so that you never ever attract one of these people ever again. A relationship where the goalposts are constantly moved and having to deal with ghosting and walking on egg shells is spirit sucking and nothing is ever going to change.

Avoidant ‘love’ is only temporary.

How about. You never make me feel like a first choice

Awesome awesome awesome! Thank you for another insightful video. I’m on my journey from anxious attachment to secure. Your videos have helped me tremendously and while I still have a lot of reprogramming to do I’m chugging along ❤❤❤

😂

He broke up with me. I messaged him everything that I had in my heart. I’m not expecting him to be back. But I’m at peace. He bottled up everything without bringing them up for discussion and broke up with me without giving me a chance to really explain or talk through anything. So now I emptied my mind. Idk what he’s gonna think of me. But now I have to protect my heart.

She’s reading other people’s observations that she’s edited in some of her own copy. She want your $$$$ not to help you!

YES 1000x

Gonna take 19 years sigh... Trying to overcome Fearful Avoidant 😅

This was spot on to my situation. Thank you. 🙏🏽

What does emotional freedom/discipline even mean or look like?

I can't focus on what's written too much going on lol

Avoidants are a mess

Want to discover your attachment style and take the first step toward secure, fulfilling relationships? 👇Check out my attachment styles quiz through the link in my bio, or the video description, and go from feeling stuck in old patterns to building healthy, secure connections, so you can confidently create the love and emotional freedom you deserve.❤️ Here's the link: onlinecourses.brianamacwilliam.com/attachment-styles-assessment

lightbulb moment!! thank you! Your videos are unique and so helpful.

This is so true! It’s not just space. It’s emotional freedom. You are the only one who has figured this out! Thank you for the video.

My girlfriend and I get sucked into this cycle over and over. She is avoidant and seems to be unable to recognize that conflict is part of being in a relationship. She will leave the room, or end the conversation if we're on the phone, when I want to talk about issues and resolutions. She keeps her feelings to herself until she's decided she needs a break or just wants to be friends. I am open with my feelings and encourage discussions. Asking her to pick the time for the talk. She says she'll let me know and I just wait. She hasn't once followed up with the discussion I requested we have. I don't think there's anything else I can do. I feel like I must be betraying myself by staying and have recently decided that I need to bow out.

So in other words lie to them and eat a shit sandwich and tell them it’s delicious

... which is space.

Will I ever be a part of a family!? Even "friends" don't want to introduce me to family. My own "family" don't want to introduce me to family or meet my own son.