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@wild_idaho4666 amen brotha! Peace and serenity are much more my benchmarks after having lead a life of chaos. Thanks for watching my friend and I hope to be making more content on a regular basis. Odaat!

​@@Disappointingyourdemons I liked what you said about knowing I have another run in me but not knowing if I have another recovery. I went back out and it was complete chaos of 5 or 6 days straight. Barely have glimpses of memories from those 6 days. It was extremely dark and I went hard. Barely left my house except to get more booze. Lucky to still have a job but I was pretty honest about what was going on with my boss and he received it well. The emotional bottom of this relapse was my worst yet. It took all I had to walk back into the rooms of recovery and I told my sponsor, what scares me is that I don't know if I go back out for yet another time, if I have it in me to come back. So I'm doing whatever it takes to stay sober this time. Because I truly want to be and stay sober.

@wild_idaho4666 it is a hard thing to do both mentally and emotionally. But the important thing is you did it. I am not afraid of much in this world butni am TERRIFIED of what will happen to me if I go out again. I barely made it through this last run. So, with that being said, I know what I am NOT going to do. And that is pick up that bottle again. Glad you're back and glad you made it through my friend!

@ShadesOClarity hey buddy! Thanks man. Yeah, staying out of my own head was a challenge for a little while but with the help of my therapist and sponsor I have for the most part overcome that. Thanks for watching shades and congrats on your time as well. Odaat!

@@Emptyvessals thank you so much! It has to be honest and real if these videos are going to have any impact at all. I appreciate the comment and the support. There is a way out! Odaat!

@joshchapman3515 8.5 months now and going strong. Thanks for watching and thank you so much for your support.

@gbone1812 thank you for your comment and thanks for watching! It's important to get the message out there. And more importantly, there IS a way out. ODAAT!

@wild_idaho4666 hmmmm not sure. I'll have to rewatch them to see what you're talking about. Might be me playing with my lighter but can't be sure until I hear it. Was this video one of them?

Yeah this one was one of them. Thanks again for putting these videos out there.

@wild_idaho4666 you're welcome. And thank you for watching. Them. I'll watch it and try and figure out what the noise is.

@wild_idaho4666 I believe what you are hearing are my hook bracelets banging off of my aluminum table. I'm just so used to it that I never even really noticed or thought of it as being a problem.

@colinsanner2169 thanks my friend! I appreciate the support and the comment! Just plugging along ODAAT just like everyone else. The holidays are just like every other day, just more expensive lol. Keep on trucking my friend.

@Phishyification thanks for watching and congrats on your first month! That's huge. I'm happy to be of service. ODAAT!

@knutmotzki2387 if I said I didn't have fun I'd be lying. Some wild times for sure. So many of our stories start off the same way. Thanks for watching and commenting! ODAAT!

@@wild_idaho4666 gotta feel the feels! All of them. That's part of the deal and what makes us human. But for the grace of god...

@wild_idaho4666 yeah man. I've forgotten where I've parked my car and have had to call friends to help me find it. I've banged out of work because I was literally too sick to even get out of bed. I've been there my friend. I get it. But we don't have to do that if we don't want to anymore. Just takes some work. Thanks for watching! ODAAT!

@CMoore8539 my sponsor is the best. We are kind of polar opposites personality wise but I think that's what makes him so helpful to me.

PS We smoke the same brand of smokes!😊 That’s one thing I haven’t kicked yet. Maybe one day!🤞

@@CMoore8539 I can't wait to see their little faces when they see what Santa brought them! Thanks for the support! I appreciate it.

@CMoore8539 yeah. Smoking is definitely the next thing that's gotta go bit for now ill focus more on the thing that's trying to kill me faster lol.

@jubjub2743 Thank you! I appreciate the support and comment. Makes doing these videos all worth it. Hope you stay safe and have a wonderful holiday season.

@josephgriffy5954 thanks for the support! Hope you do as well. ODAAT!

@ShadesOClarity yes definitely don't drink and go to meetings. Yeah man, life gets lifey as always, but in a good way lately. I'm not the biggest fan of the holidays either but this years Christmas is gonna be a special one for me. Thanks for watching shades. Glad to see you're plugging along as well.

@@Disappointingyourdemons I'll have six months in a little over a week. Not going back to that shit show of chaotic instability. Thanks.

@@ShadesOClarity and it's always a worse shit show any time we go back out.

@@Disappointingyourdemons The "Kindling Shit Show."

@Tink.242 canton MA? Right next door to where I grew up in Milton! Thank you for watching and thanksbfor thebsupport! ODAAT!

@@Disappointingyourdemons Yup. Its me, Ali. I didn't realize my name didn't show. I'm from Milton.

@Tink.242 No kidding? Small world. Do we know each other in RL? I grew up on Grove st. and lived on Pleasant St. Before moving down here. Did you go to Milton High? I went Blue Hills Tech. My memory, especially from those days is spotty at best so I might need a refresher lol.

@wild_idaho4666 thanks for the commentand the support. Yes, I hit 8 months on the 8th! As far as relapsing, we are our own worst critics. We can beat ourselves with the guilt bat, or we can get up, dust ourselves off and try riding the sober train again. Someone once said to me, just because we relapsed, it doesn't erase all the sobriety we had in the past. We just took a detour. Eventually it will stick. The alternative is nothing I want to think about anymore. Thanks again for watching and commenting! ODAAT!

@dcvice6198 a severe symptoms for sure, but just a symptom nonetheless. Thanks for watching and commenting my friend! ODAAT!

@RichardWherry thanks for watching and commenting. I am certainly enjoying the Grampy role and very much looking forward to being a positive male figure in their life for years to come. Thanks for supporting the channel. Odaat!

@wild_idaho4666 thanks for watching man. That makes me happy to hear that! Sometimes I wonder if my story is even relatable and then I get comments like this! ODAAT!

@jubjub2743 thanks for watching! And I appreciate the support. Its been a very hectic time of year for me but new content coming soon. Odaat!

@CMoore8539 I'm doing great. I have just been wicked busy with the holidays, my daughter getting married, getting ready for my visit up to the states and life in general. New content coming soon. Thanks for checking in!!!

@wild_idaho4666 congrats on 6 days sober!!!! It's funny how the good times can be just as dangerous to our sobriety than the bad times. The thought always creeps in that we should have a drink to celebrate. Even though we know full wellbwhere that train ends. Yeah I love Bat country's channel. He's a good dude. Thanks for watching! ODAAT!

@@wild_idaho4666 every. Single. Time.

@wild_idaho4666 yeah man. Alcohol makes us do crazy things. And for the longest time I just thought it was normal behavior because I didn't know any other way of living. Today i realize that it isn't and that if i dont want to, I never have to be that way again. Thanks for watching! ODAAT!

@wild_idaho4666 Thank you so much for watching and welcome to the channel! Yeah, being aware of how you're feeling, no matter the feeling, is crucial to being successful in sobriety. Allowing yourself to feel those feelings is important too. Odaat!

@gbone1812 thanks for commenting and welcome to the channel. New content coming soon.

@@CMoore8539 thank you! I hope you have a great day as well.

@ShadesOClarity I don't even know how to tell which one was my 200th but yeah, I'm pretty stoked! I can't believe that my channel has been this successful. Thank you for being such a big supporter of my channel. You da man buddy!

@@Disappointingyourdemons I'm just the boy standing next to the man. It's weird. When you first start out it seems the algorithm really pushes your videos. My fourth video now has over 10.6k views. And I got to 506 and now it's back to 504. L.D. and I plan on another podcast video fairly soon. I snagged a bunch after our two-part interview. Now my channel is kind of stalled. My goal is to reach 1k, but it might not happen. I'll keep on doing it more for me and everyone because I don't want to do this for a living. I hope I don't get bored to the point I just stop.

@ShadesOClarity I dunno about any of it really. I got a bunch of new subs over the last few weeks and I have no idea why. I'm happy that I have though. As I've stated before, if I help even one person then my mission has been accomplished. I make a decent living from my job and some extra money from playing poker. If I ever make money from this thing I'll donate it most likely. I actually have big plans in the world of recovery in the future. But I'm also just trying to keep it in the day. Oh as far as how I set up my shots, I really don't actually think about it too much. I just set up the phone and start recording. I dont particularly care what's in the background. If im recording at night, I record inside and whatever room mybwife happens to not be in. If it's during the day, its on my balcony and my wife is usually at work. And always I just usually say whatever is on my mind and what comes out comes out. Sometimes I think about something I wanted to say after the video and then I'm like aww fuck. But I sometimes figure out a way to slip it in in the next one.

@indigostardriver7469 hey Ron! Welcome to the channel! Thanks for watching. Two Ron's don't make a right... ba dum.

@diaryofapunter1 addiction is addiction no matter your what. Only a fellow addict understands us. Thank-you for watching!!!! Odaat!

@@CMoore8539 thank you! It's flown by!

@@DisappointingyourdemonsYou’re doing a lot of Positive Work and You’re Giving a hang up to the next person suffering. It goes by fast when you’re healing the right way! I still remember how being wasted made me feel like every single day was “GroundHog Day” Again! I really couldn’t even understand anyone with Joy. Everything gets better as we go!!💯😊

@CMoore8539 groundhog daybis an perfect way of putting it. Wake up, get drunk, fuck up my life severely, pass out. Rinse and repeat.

@@Disappointingyourdemons Exactly.

@CMoore8539 thanks for watching! Relapse happens. This thing ain't easy but the important part is that you're back and you're fighting! Sometimes we lose the battle but that doesn't mean we've lost the war. ODAAT!

@@Disappointingyourdemons100%!!! It really is a War.

@ShadesOClarity hey shades. Thank you! I cannot believe it's been 7 months. It's gone by so fast. Congrats on your time too. I I have mentioned my channel only a couple times in meetings and really only in passing aid the results were generally positive. Just a couple of people had something to say about it and the 11th tradition. To which I basically responded these videos are about me, not AA and also mind your own fucking business. Lol. Thanks for watching my friend. ODAAT!

Good Morning Shades!☀️ I think it’s great that you mention that you attend AA meetings. I’m only two weeks right now and I’m actually thinking about going to an AA meeting too. The only reason I quit going is because of the few 13 steppers that really bothered me. I’m thinking of a different group or maybe a women’s meeting. Your videos inspired me.😊 Take care and have a happy Friday!

@CMoore8539 the good thing about AA is that there are so manybdifferent meetings that you can try different ones until you find a few that you really gel with. I've been in more than a few meetings that I've thought to myself man, if I was a newcomer and this was my first experience with AA I'd never come back. Some people lose sight of the mission and make it all about them and go on a power trip. Anyways, keep coming and thanks for your support. ODAAT!

@@DisappointingyourdemonsI agree.100%.

@@Disappointingyourdemons Maybe I can set up a Zoom meeting and have you as my first guest. Is there a huge time difference way down there?

Thanks for the shoutout, Joseph. We all try.

@josephgriffy5954 thanks for watching man! It makes me happy to hear that they rwsonatebwith you and it's comments like these that make this all worthwhile. ODAAT!

@CMoore8539 yeah. I'm happy. Relationships are hard and require work and I think we're worth it.

@CMoore8539 Thank-you so much Cindy! I hope you have a great week as well.

@ShadesOClarity yeah man. Thanks! The lady tattoo artist down here is great. So, the stand that I got is kinda garbage. But I think I can engineer something to help keep the phone straight. I'll fiddle around with different shots. Thanks for watching my friend. Hope all is well with you!

@@Disappointingyourdemons Yeah. Things are going really well. Got my old reporter job back, doing the TH-cam thing and writing my book. If an when I get that Pocket 2. I'll mail you the gimbal I use. Then you can walk around vlog style. I would be cool to see you do walk and talks on the beach. The gimbal is designed to be used with a phone. It keeps things really stable. It's a good piece of equipment, easy to use. I don't mind giving things away when I don't use them anymore.

@ShadesOClarity yeah man. I was thinking of doing a walk on the beach video. That's funny. There's another place I wanna do a video down here called peace hill. The view is astounding.

@@Disappointingyourdemons Your "production value" has really gotten better. That shot from your balcony is good scenery.

@CMoore8539 sorry for the late response. For some reason I am just seeing this now. Thank you so much for watching. I have snapped out of my little funk that I was in since making this video but I am being ever vigilant with my feelings and emotions and just being aware so that I don't fall back into bad habits. Thank you, as always, for your support. Odaat!

@CMoore8539 thank you! It was one of my darker moments in my life followed by one of the brighter. Then down the shitter I went but still. It was this experience that eventually led me to finally start to get my act together. Thank-you for the support! ODAAT!

@@Disappointingyourdemons 100%!

@@Disappointingyourdemons My name is Cindy.

@CMoore8539 nice to meet you Cindy!

@madeleineani3203 thabknyoubso much for watching and commenting. I'm gonna have to Google what mellifluous means lol. I'm glad you found my channel and liked the beginning of my story. Hope you have a great day. ODAAT!