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This was sooooo eye-opening! God help me....I'm one too. Fuuuuuck Excuse my language

Here's the problem with some avoidants though: when their survival strategy includes shrinking away from closeness, reassurance, and "showing up", that can easily happen during major life stressors that require immense "showing up", such as a partner developing a serious illness that requires both emotional and physical support, or a death that requires emotional support, etc etc. And so whether someone is secure or anxiously attached- it's something that needs to be considered about longterm partnership with avoidants that are deeply rooted in their behaviors. If texting requires a complex dance- imagine what cancer would require, for example. Be with someone who will show up for you when you really need them to. Period. No matter what attachment style they have.

Oh this is truly, truly helpful... Just subbed to the channel, can't believe more people haven't found out this amazing content. But they will! Wish you the best. 😊

Wow, checking the list on all but two or three!

April is so lovely...on a personal note, I have never been diagnosed with personality disorders, only anxiety and depression. BUT I think I used to have intense BPD traits... people are saying that you can outgrow BPD... I would actually agree with the notion of BPD getting better with age. Here is why: experiencing a cascade of rejections left and right, 20's friendships break-ups, surviving an abusive relationship, and then taking a lot of time for myself and understanding that I sought out a distinct pattern of thrills and drama, experiencing backstabbing from the industry I believed into. It's hard, it's bloody hard...but at least now I don't have fear of abandonment, as I went through it so many times, so I don't have to 'settle' with certain people because I don't want to be alone. I still have problems on the job side of life, as almost every rejection email feels like I'm going to pass away...I know where the perfectionism craze comes from in my life, as well as the abandonment thing...thanks a lot for this channel, it makes me stop for a bit rather rushing through my emotions

It's absolutely a public service watching diagnosed narcs, the way they speak and the streak they have She is a lot of things at once, funny, annoying, disturbing, honest...that kind of person I hope I won't find in the workplace BCS I don't have any emotional reserve to use to deal with this psy profile. However, I do agree with the fact that after a lot of emotional abuse, one's emotions are dull. I'm a survivor and my emotional depth has been shrinking. It is painful, I find hard to empathise with others because of the pain. Imagine that up until the abusive relationship I wanted to be a support worker. My charitable spirit is still there, it just does not have a steady ground just now. Lastly, when she talked about her sister, that bit was so powerful. She would insult the sister, and then playing with her, then again discarding her...basically everything that we have endured in a relationship with a narcissist... Now everything makes sense. It's hard to write those words because they feed themselves with any kind of external validation they can find...so you have it.

You can say I'm generalising here but, he seems to have the exact kind of personality of many youngish CEOs, also being from Italy I can tell you that a lot of men act like him...plus the rapid cycle couldn't be due to BP? She seems a very good therapist, super attentive with a soothing voice...

I’ve had 4 workplaces with narcissists directly involved with me. 3 of those in harassment level.

She isn't real, she's AI.

Mary is 'musical' and 'talented' but has nothing to say. She keeps it safe and easily digestible for youtube. She really is very bland.

Individually musicians are ok in my experience. But when they get together they create a collective narcissism, and look down on non-musians.

I can't stand Mary Splendour.

I will always cast my narcissist in a bad light. He almost killed me

What other diagnosis does he have?

I really admire how self aware this person is. It really humanizes narcissism. I never understood the monster label they get. For me it makes it also harder to leave, because when you start to think: maybe my partner has narcissism. The whole internet says: RUN it is a bad person. But then you know they are not. And you know how much trauma they had. So that made me think: well I don't want to hate this person. Let's just ignore all the very problematic signs

Since Narcissists are driven by childish negative emotions what makes therapists think they will respond well to adult conversations about values ? If they are children on the inside why not use child psychology ?

They are so inconsistent 😮

It’s what’s underneath alcoholism- all the isms.

This is a great post!

He sounds like every recovering alcoholic I’ve ever met. Myself included. I’ve been in recovery for 35 years. Keep doing what you’re doing. You’re there!

This hurts a little to watch because he's already parentifying you during this interview and receiving a lot of supply in the process. And people in the comments are infantilizing him, there is no empathy to be found with narcissists - that's what all the others assumed and the reason why they stayed.

Part of the brain like the frontal lobe is dead so yes they are brain dead they have no empathy no love.

Lovely timing - I just spent a few hours working through a particular trigger that I was struggling to decide if I should label as spiritual or religious abuse. My mom made a pretty simple post on Facebook about how she wants folks to pray with her to defeat the "evil" amendment citizens here have fought so hard to get on the ballot. Our right to reproductive healthcare, specifically abortion I'm hopeful to open up a conversation about it, though. I've been in school for psych for a while and got her to go to a few family therapy sessions. I know it's extremely personal for her. She fell in love at 18 and engaged in risky behavior...leading to pregnancy. That she then forced herself to carry out and give up for adoption. She explained this to me at maybe 8 years old with the framing you describe in the first few examples. Dismissive, avoidant, grandiose. Like an 8 year old couldn't possibly understand bodily autonomy. My dad unfortunately agreed with her. I felt terrorized by this, completely abandoned. It's been 25 years of this. But if I criticize... Well, I still live with them. How could I be so ungrateful, right? I do struggle to reach out and am so thankful to you for at least providing a safe space online to validate and inform victims. I hope to find resources for online meetings I could attend. I don't have the ability to travel, unfortunately. Thank you again ❤

So guilt requires empathy for what you’ve done to someone. Shame is feeling bad about yourself.. now i get it!

The more ground l give the further away he gets and the less any of my needs, basic needs, are met. l have nothing less to sacrifice and beginning to mirror avoidant behaviours myself. l'm done with following the breadcrumbs to nowhere and what feelings l had developed l'm suppressing and he's removing. Thought we had something good, maybe what we want but not what we need. My heart has been broken for a while and the scar tissue already formed, l'm done with carrying all the burden and giving but not receiving. Avoid the avoidant, because if they were truly willing to heal themselves they would've already met you halfway and not choose distance.

Lol, I got in trouble drinking on the beach, at a school trip, my mum had put the cider in my pack up. Bless her, I honestly don't think she had a clue that was not ok for a 12 year old. She wasn't a drinker, had a shit ton of trauma from her mum.❤ actually, loads of this resonates, ❤

This narcissist trope is everywhere. It has become the catch all phrase and misses the true "narcissist" behaviors.

However.... sex addiction CAUSES narcissistic traits and even eventually rewired the brain, so which came first the chicken or the egg? I don't think being a sex addict and being a narcissistic are in any way mutually exclusive.

Thank you! That was exactly the answer to what I was thinking about. My new relationship is so slow, it is quite boring, without false promises that sometimes I am asking myslef if I chose the other extreme and if this is right or wrong.

I wish I'd heard this video decades ago. Thank you.❤

Sorry, but this therapiest is real sick

Sura 5: AL-MAEDA (THE TABLE) - Juz' 7 - Translation Qarib TranslationSearch ReciteRecite SearchSelect Chapter وَإِذْ قَالَ اللَّهُ يَا عِيسَى ابْنَ مَرْيَمَ أَأَنْتَ قُلْتَ لِلنَّاسِ اتَّخِذُونِي وَأُمِّيَ إِلَهَيْنِ مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ قَالَ سُبْحَانَكَ مَا يَكُونُ لِي أَنْ أَقُولَ مَا لَيْسَ لِي بِحَقٍّ إِنْ كُنْتُ قُلْتُهُ فَقَدْ عَلِمْتَهُ تَعْلَمُ مَا فِي نَفْسِي وَلَا أَعْلَمُ مَا فِي نَفْسِكَ إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ عَلَّامُ الْغُيُوبِ ﴿۱۱۶﴾And when Allah said: '( Prophet) Jesus, son of Mary, did you ever say to the people: "Take me and my mother for two gods, other than Allah?" 'Exaltations to You, ' he said, 'how could I say that to which I have no right? If I had said that, You would have surely known. You know what is in my self, but I do not know what is in Yours. Indeed, You are the Knowledgeable of the unseen. (116) مَا قُلْتُ لَهُمْ إِلَّا مَا أَمَرْتَنِي بِهِ أَنِ اعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ رَبِّي وَرَبَّكُمْ وَكُنْتُ عَلَيْهِمْ شَهِيدًا مَا دُمْتُ فِيهِمْ فَلَمَّا تَوَفَّيْتَنِي كُنْتَ أَنْتَ الرَّقِيبَ عَلَيْهِمْ وَأَنْتَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ شَهِيدٌ ﴿۱۱۷﴾I spoke to them of nothing except that which You ordered me, that you worship Allah, my Lord and our Lord. I witnessed them whilst living in their midst and ever since You took me to You, You have been the Watcher over them. You are the Witness of everything. (117) إِنْ تُعَذِّبْهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ عِبَادُكَ وَإِنْ تَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ فَإِنَّكَ أَنْتَ الْعَزِيزُ الْحَكِيمُ ﴿۱۱۸﴾If You punish them (for their disbelief), they surely are Your subjects; and if You forgive them, surely You are the Almighty, the Wise. ' (118) قَالَ اللَّهُ هَذَا يَوْمُ يَنْفَعُ الصَّادِقِينَ صِدْقُهُمْ لَهُمْ جَنَّاتٌ تَجْرِي مِنْ تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا أَبَدًا رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمْ وَرَضُوا عَنْهُ ذَلِكَ الْفَوْزُ الْعَظِيمُ ﴿۱۱۹﴾Allah will say: 'This is the Day the truthful shall benefit by their truthfulness. They shall live for ever in Gardens underneath which rivers flow. Allah is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him. That is the great winning. ' (119) لِلَّهِ مُلْكُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ وَمَا فِيهِنَّ وَهُوَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ ﴿۱۲۰﴾To Allah belongs the Kingdom of the heavens and the earth and what is in them. He has power over all things. (120)

Little Shamen and Cluster B Milkshake for me the two best channels about NPD...

Spot on!

Truly narcissistic people cannot change. They can change their behavior, but they will not stop abusing others ever.

I am with this problem. For 14 years I followed a Buddhist master, through his books and lectures on the internet. I loved this master. However, a person came to my city to represent the organization and the master I followed. In many meetings, in front of everyone, when I told about my experiences, she almost always ended up saying that I didn't understand what awereness was. One of the thing more important in budhism that I studied for 14 years. I got so fed up that I started to lose interest in the Buddhist religion and went into a spiritual crisis. Without justifying anything, I stopped showing up at meditation meetings. I feel sad and relieved at the same time. and I began to become interested in the previous religion, Catholic. Its a Google translate, sory for my english. Thanks for the vídeo❤

Dr Ann, a question: is the relationship anxiety similar to the fear of abandonment in the borderline personality disorder? And thanks again for your wonderful words and work ❤❤❤

Inability to regulate self esteem - excellent characterization!

Anything that you do routinely over and over again rewires 13:10 the brain. Evidence collected by Dr Joe Dispenza and associates

I have this suspicion that some partner behaviour is stemming from manosphere/Red Pill content, current emphasis on optimal gender defined roles rather than balance of interpersonal traits. This narrative exists within some of the more spiritual content too re masculine and feminine “energy” ignoring that it’s more an issue of security and insecurity.

Very helpful video. Thank you!

LOVE DOES NOT EXIST . WAS INVENTED BY POOR MEN SO THEY CAN HAVE ACCESS TO SEX .

This video is just a treasure map! one of the best I have ever seen on TH-cam.

Interesting

It is my monkey. It is my circus. 20 years marriage and 4 children. Its definitely my monkeys.

Because of your video I once again invited my wife who is currently giving me the silent treatment (more than a month now) to join the dinner albeit to no avail. These persons are extremely complicated and childish.

It sounds like these people are bad to be with period