Well, regarding Fantasies (1981), it's not just the fact that it's a John Derek film to be afraid of it. Though released in 1981, it was actually filmed in 1973 when Bo Derek would have been 16-17 years old and John Derek would have been around 46-47 years old. That's when they began their relationship and didn't return to the U.S. until after Bo's 18th birthday to avoid statutory rape charges. There's your unfortunate trivia of the day.
@@KyleRobots I couldn't make it through the whole thing. I've seen a lot of bad movies- "Manos" several times, but Bolero is shockingly boring even compared to that.
Sure, Ghosts Can't Do It and Tarzan the Ape Man were absolutely horrible movies, but they were at least movies. Bolero barely qualifies as a movie. It's really just a half-baked concept designed to get Bo Derek naked as much as possible.
If George Kennedy choked his agent for getting him stuck in this trash, I don't think any jury would convict him. All the defense would need to do is show Bolero.
And his half-hearted performance earned him a Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Supporting Actor nomination. This garbage movie also got 8 other Razzie nominations and Bo Derek won Worst Actress, John Derek won Worst Director and Worst Screenplay, and the movie won Worst Picture. 100% deserved, IMO.
My group at college (I was a freshman) got SERIOUSLY drunk one Saturday afternoon together over a pizza lunch, then we went to see this in the theatre on campus. Yeah...you can imagine what a bunch of drunk freshmen boys would yell at the screen, since we were the only ones there that evening....so, y'know, fond memories of this film....I suppose......!!!
With George Kennedy in Bolero, I half expected Lt. Frank Drebin to pop out in a scene looking totally disoriented in his continuing search for Jane after poorly singing the Star Spangled Banner while masquerading as Enrico Pallazzo.
The longer I watch this episode the more I'm convinced the Shiek is actually Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray, good to know his only movie credit wasn't Joe Dirt 2 ... also didn't realize til now Leo Decaprio's slow motion falling back in his chair in Inception was merely Christopher Nolan's tribute to George Kennedy in Bolero .. "BRILLIANT!"
the movie is discussed a fair amount in the great documentary "Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films (2014)" (which is free on youtube)
Gene Siskel & Roger Ebert also reviewed Amadeus the same week as this film (and Until September); about as wide a range in quality as you can get in an episode.
John Derek is far more enamored with Bo than the rest of us are I think. And why was her face so red the entire time? This was a hard watch, worse than Ghosts can't do it and that was horrible. Thanks for the brain damage Snob!
Always wondered what this movie was about, but kinda didn't want to know. Only knew about the nude horseriding thanks to a 9 year old me seeing part of the screen at a drive in when our family went to see a Gremlins/Ghostbusters double feature back in the day.
Read a review once where the commentary sarcastically noted that "Bolero" is Italian for "Bo shows skin." Yeah, pretty much the raison d'etre for the film. But the strange thing is this: Later, the Dereks did "Ghosts Can't Do It," which is more or less the same idea but adding a ghost and the plot twist that Bo has to kill a guy she wants to have sex with in order for her husband's spirit to possess the body. I mean, SERIOUSLY?!!
Now that you mentioned it, yeah, I can see how they may have thought they were making an Emmanuelle movie. However, with how badly written the dialogue is in this it movie, it make the worse of the Emmanuelle movies look Shakespearean in comparison.
Yes! I've been wondering for a long time if you'd do this one, cuz a few years ago you Snobbed "Tarzan The Ape Man". One that I really hope you'll eventually do is "Ishtar". That's one of the few notoriously bad movies that's made all the Worst Movies lists that you haven't Snobbed yet. Please do if you get a chance!
The final part of the Derek-Derek filmography is complete. (Yes, I'm aware they did one movie way back in 73 back when Bo Derek actually was a GODDAMN TEENAGER, but let's pretend that one doesn't exist for all our sakes.)
The more disgusting thing was that a then unknown Olivia d'Abo was cast in the film pretty much as a sex object ... AND SHE WAS 14!!! Considering the source, I think that's a case of writing what you know.
It’s finally here! Been waiting a LONG time for Brad to review this one. The movie that deserves the Razzies it did! And the movie that SHOULD have won Worst picture of the Decade instead of Mommy Dearest.
PS - "Bo Derek Producer" 😂😂😂😂😂 As if John Derek would listen to her. That's so she (and therefore he) got more money from it. Probably upfront. AND IF SHE DID PRODUCE IT SHE'S ALSO GUILTY OF OKAYING THE 14 YEAR OLD BEING NAKED
I have never disliked a director/writer/producer more than I dislike John Derek. He's absolutely talentless as a filmmaker. And, if his plots are any indication, he's an absolutely disgusting person.
Yup, I remember when I was a middle-schooler sneaking up to watch this movie as a re-run on the living room TV. Brad, you have put all my cringe and thoughts about the film perfectly into words. Thank you!
I've already seen Cinematic Excrement take a dump on this movie, now the Snob gets his turn to go! 4:40 SSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW MMMMMMMMOOOOOOOTIIIIIOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!
Don't know if this makes sense, but I have a lot of baby boomer relatives who are very 'Bo Derek movie' oriented. Same folks who love the book Mists of Avalon. Hard to explain but it's definitely a type.
Not only was this painful to watch, but man the cringe was at a all time high for me, especially when George Kennedy say he saw her naked at 3-4 years old. How did he not see that in the script and think this was totally fine? This was rough one to watch with the dialog XD
I saw this one in the theater. I remember sitting there in a nearly empty theater as the last scene as the neon sign spelling ecstasy with an x started flashing on and off and thinking “ this is it. This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Funny how at 16:38 you missed the accidental shot of the "modern day" sailboat just passing by off in the distance. They must have forgotten this was the 1920's and not the 1980's LOL!
Log on and 19 seconds earlier this video was posted. Ah, forgotten bad movies, what can possible be bett--- actually, after a couple of minutes, a lot of things could be better.
knowing that bo derek was groomed by john derek for years as a child before marrying her, all those films they did together--especially this one--are so sinister
Bo is , was & always be a beautiful woman, but she's only a slight bit more believable as a young college graduate than Kris Kristofferson in "Heaven's Gate".
Finally came around to watching this episode. Can't say I've heard of this one, decided to check out a trailer for this one. This movie is...what is it again? An erotic comedy-drama? Its almost hard to categorize this movie. You know the previous owner of the VHS gave zero shits for this one to arrive in such a damaged box.
Never seen a John Derek movie, don't think I ever will, but based on your reviews I believe his work is the ultimate realization of fascinatingly bad. Can't think of many movie reviews that make me drop my jaw and laugh out loud, but the combination of the Snob with some John Derek opus never fails in that regard.
Is there any ethnicity Gino Conforti didn't play? On the subject of the actual movie, I just got done watching Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, a much better movie set in Spain. It's painful to watch Bo Derek try, and fail, to act, over and over again. The next time someone complains about Daryl Hannah's acting, just show them any Bo Derek scene from this.
6:28 The Available Sheik sounds like a ECW comedy act spawned from the unavailability of The Iron Sheik 8:21 I'd love to see the Snob review Follow That Bird
![ปฏิเสธไม่ไหว (Crush on you) - LIPTA feat. No One Else [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NBw1jF342vw/mqdefault.jpg)
Only ONE John and Bo Derek movie remains, Snob. You must do your duty!!!
@@jacksampsonforever Fantasies was was a runner up to Ghosts Can’t Do It.
Well, regarding Fantasies (1981), it's not just the fact that it's a John Derek film to be afraid of it. Though released in 1981, it was actually filmed in 1973 when Bo Derek would have been 16-17 years old and John Derek would have been around 46-47 years old. That's when they began their relationship and didn't return to the U.S. until after Bo's 18th birthday to avoid statutory rape charges. There's your unfortunate trivia of the day.
*resists urge to vomit*
Wow,what a strange,twisted couple.
One of the rare cases where the previous viewer knew it was kinder to not rewind, and let you be as far into the movie as he made it from the get go.
😂😂😂😂 dead
@@KyleRobots I couldn't make it through the whole thing. I've seen a lot of bad movies- "Manos" several times, but Bolero is shockingly boring even compared to that.
It's almost hilarious how John Derek kept getting new movies to direct even though he categorically proved he can not make movies.
Probably the same way Paul W.S. Anderson gets movies
"Hey i know i suck but if you hire me you get my hot wife to put on the poster."
As a Spaniard I cringed twice as hard. And I say this as a lusty matador.
The stuff that John Derek had his own wife say and do really seems grounds for a restraining order.
Jesus Christ! The dialogue in this film would make George Lucas and M. Night Shyamalan squirm.
Sure, Ghosts Can't Do It and Tarzan the Ape Man were absolutely horrible movies, but they were at least movies. Bolero barely qualifies as a movie. It's really just a half-baked concept designed to get Bo Derek naked as much as possible.
If George Kennedy choked his agent for getting him stuck in this trash, I don't think any jury would convict him. All the defense would need to do is show Bolero.
ah yes the "Lost Horizon (1973) defense"
I'm guessing Kennedy's agent lived to represent Steve Carrell and get him stuck in Seeking a Friend for the End of the World.
The Jaws The Revenge/"I've never been to the Bahamas" defense
(Cue Snob voice) If I want to watch a bad early 80s movie with bull fighting, I’ll stick with Herbie Goes Bananas thank you very much
'If I wanted to watch A better example of comedic bull fighting, I'll watch 'Bully For Bugs', thank you very much.'
I miss that Cinema Snob
I like how George Kennedy was trying to make this work by blatantly not giving a shit
Poor guy was like, "I won a f**king Oscar for 'Cool Hand Luke' and now I'm doing this?"
@@asurlybarber3620 well, he ended up on Dallas so it wasn't all bad. Too bad he came around when the show was running out of steam.
And his half-hearted performance earned him a Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Supporting Actor nomination. This garbage movie also got 8 other Razzie nominations and Bo Derek won Worst Actress, John Derek won Worst Director and Worst Screenplay, and the movie won Worst Picture. 100% deserved, IMO.
At his age, taking the money and running seemed like the thing to do. After all, he was in a William Castle movie.
At least he got to have fun in the Naked Gun movies.
My group at college (I was a freshman) got SERIOUSLY drunk one Saturday afternoon together over a pizza lunch, then we went to see this in the theatre on campus. Yeah...you can imagine what a bunch of drunk freshmen boys would yell at the screen, since we were the only ones there that evening....so, y'know, fond memories of this film....I suppose......!!!
With George Kennedy in Bolero, I half expected Lt. Frank Drebin to pop out in a scene looking totally disoriented in his continuing search for Jane after poorly singing the Star Spangled Banner while masquerading as Enrico Pallazzo.
The longer I watch this episode the more I'm convinced the Shiek is actually Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray, good to know his only movie credit wasn't Joe Dirt 2 ... also didn't realize til now Leo Decaprio's slow motion falling back in his chair in Inception was merely Christopher Nolan's tribute to George Kennedy in Bolero .. "BRILLIANT!"
Bo Derek reads lines in such a uniquely bad way, it's like a pothead being dared by friends to read Shakespeare in a fancy accent.
I felt so sorry for George Kennedy in this piece of trash. I hope he got a large paycheck.
Since it was a Cannon film the best we can hope for is a moderate one.
Creepshow 2 was a more dignified project than this!
Right and "Mommy Dearest" was the worst film of the decade. My God, this movie is unwatchable unless someone is riffing it.
There were worse films than both of them.
Yeah out of the movies that were on the ballot for worst picture of the decade this one was more deserving.
the movie is discussed a fair amount in the great documentary "Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films (2014)" (which is free on youtube)
There was a great version of thay documentary in Spanish but it has been taken down.
Great and funny movie.
Definitely, it's the only place I have ever seen footage of this movie.
ooh, thanks, I've been wanting to watch this but I couldn't find an easily-accessible version
Gene Siskel & Roger Ebert also reviewed Amadeus the same week as this film (and Until September); about as wide a range in quality as you can get in an episode.
Fun fact : This is one of the few movies that made me feel really gross. Like I shouldn’t be watching it at all
I only felt like that after watching Salo and Society.
After Tarzan, the Ape Man and Ghosts Can't Do It I've been waiting for you to do this. Brad, you goonie!
It's gonna be a good time when the video starts with Brad saying 'This movie is terrible!' with a smile on his face.
"Built from porcelain in the Crispin Glover factory."
Less than 4 minutes in and I'm already giggling like an asshole. This is gonna be good.
George Kennedy is giving serious “I’m only here for the free vacation to Spain” vibes.
Not enough PR companies call movies “lushly” produced.
Jesus, what the fuck happened? Brad you're a trooper for reviewing movies like these.
John Derek is far more enamored with Bo than the rest of us are I think. And why was her face so red the entire time? This was a hard watch, worse than Ghosts can't do it and that was horrible. Thanks for the brain damage Snob!
Always wondered what this movie was about, but kinda didn't want to know.
Only knew about the nude horseriding thanks to a 9 year old me seeing part of the screen at a drive in when our family went to see a Gremlins/Ghostbusters double feature back in the day.
There is a story behind that torn-up cover...A sad story, but a story none the less.
Read a review once where the commentary sarcastically noted that "Bolero" is Italian for "Bo shows skin." Yeah, pretty much the raison d'etre for the film.
But the strange thing is this: Later, the Dereks did "Ghosts Can't Do It," which is more or less the same idea but adding a ghost and the plot twist that Bo has to kill a guy she wants to have sex with in order for her husband's spirit to possess the body. I mean, SERIOUSLY?!!
True story: "Ghosts Can't Do It" featured a brief cameo from none other than Donald Trump.
@@asurlybarber3620 Yep. And the Razzies named him Worst Supporting Actor of the Year.
One prize that I think none of us will challenge....
Wasn’t that basically the plot of Wonder Woman 2?
21:36 Of course there are connoisseurs of virgins. Remember that one kid from Silent Night Deadly Night who only sleds down virgin hills?
20:58- Thank you, Brad, for showing us something bullfighting related that is a trillion times better than this movie.
Amen to that!!
Now that you mentioned it, yeah, I can see how they may have thought they were making an Emmanuelle movie. However, with how badly written the dialogue is in this it movie, it make the worse of the Emmanuelle movies look Shakespearean in comparison.
Yes! I've been wondering for a long time if you'd do this one, cuz a few years ago you Snobbed "Tarzan The Ape Man". One that I really hope you'll eventually do is "Ishtar". That's one of the few notoriously bad movies that's made all the Worst Movies lists that you haven't Snobbed yet. Please do if you get a chance!
i believe he did Ishtar years ago. And I enjoy Ishtar, it isn't good but isn't as bad as critics said.
@@locnar1 Nope, he didn't. And I want him to!
Oh my God, I've been anticipating this one since Brad reviewed Tarzan The Ape Man. What a day.
Remember seeing this on the big screen. It left scars.
Would it surprise you that John Derek told Olivia D'Abo that she looked young for her age and then asked if she had breast implants?
Christ, he was a disgusting scumbag.............................wasn't she only about 14 at the time??
Norman Osborn: "You know, I'm something of a lusty matador, myself."
The final part of the Derek-Derek filmography is complete. (Yes, I'm aware they did one movie way back in 73 back when Bo Derek actually was a GODDAMN TEENAGER, but let's pretend that one doesn't exist for all our sakes.)
THIS ONE has a 14 year old doing full nudity!!!!
The more disgusting thing was that a then unknown Olivia d'Abo was cast in the film pretty much as a sex object ... AND SHE WAS 14!!!
Considering the source, I think that's a case of writing what you know.
It’s finally here! Been waiting a LONG time for Brad to review this one. The movie that deserves the Razzies it did! And the movie that SHOULD have won Worst picture of the Decade instead of Mommy Dearest.
Ah, the Derek-Derek, some of Cinema Snob finest reviews
On a side note: where did you get your new intro music, Brad? Love the song, but want to hear the full version!
First watched this on CINEMAX back in the 1980s. All I can remember is that honey scene with a sheik in the middle of the desert. 😂
George Kennedy peering in the window is just reliving his role in Wacko
10:50 Olivia d'Abo also played Tak on Invader Zim!
She also voiced Sonya Blade in Mortal Kombat Defenders of the Realm (KOMBAT TIME!!!!)
The movie that's so awful, it destroyed a production/movie studio alliance that dominated the 80s. Nice!
I had managed to block the memory of this film with lots of drinking.... Now I have to break sobriety.
The 80s was a wild ride for George Kennedy 😅
Ever since I was a kid the name Bolero stuck in my mind for some reason. I hadnt watched it but now I know what it is.
Was waiting for the clip of George Kennedy saying “I’m just mowing the lawn” lol
John Derek was in The Ten Commandments. It hurts to know he made Bolero.
Proof that good actors do not make good directors.
Like Kevin Sorbo
PS - "Bo Derek Producer" 😂😂😂😂😂
As if John Derek would listen to her.
That's so she (and therefore he) got more money from it. Probably upfront.
AND IF SHE DID PRODUCE IT SHE'S ALSO GUILTY OF OKAYING THE 14 YEAR OLD BEING NAKED
I have never disliked a director/writer/producer more than I dislike John Derek. He's absolutely talentless as a filmmaker. And, if his plots are any indication, he's an absolutely disgusting person.
I think this is the only group of people actually excited because someone watched Bolero!
Fun fact, Andrea Occhipinti was in the closet and later said that the sex scene with Bo was the most miserable experience of his life.
Yup, I remember when I was a middle-schooler sneaking up to watch this movie as a re-run on the living room TV. Brad, you have put all my cringe and thoughts about the film perfectly into words. Thank you!
I've already seen Cinematic Excrement take a dump on this movie, now the Snob gets his turn to go!
4:40 SSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW MMMMMMMMOOOOOOOTIIIIIOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!
Sean’s review of this film is one of his best.
I'm sorry, even Brad's comments didn't save this movie from being the most boring feature picture from 1980s. It's as sexy as a snoozefest.
Bolero? That sounds like the name of a disease you get from drinking tropical river water.
I love your videos man, and the best part about this one is the first part getting to look at an old VHS tape. It went downhill once you press to play
I was wondering, was Bo trying to pretend to be 10 years younger than she really was?
If anybody ever complains about the FARM GIRLS line from Cool Hand Luke again, just show them this movie.
The review we’ve been waiting years for.
I have a feeling that Neil Breen's origin story passes through here...
Don't know if this makes sense, but I have a lot of baby boomer relatives who are very 'Bo Derek movie' oriented. Same folks who love the book Mists of Avalon. Hard to explain but it's definitely a type.
NGL, I'm sociologically interested on what the h*ll this type is, now.
Not only was this painful to watch, but man the cringe was at a all time high for me, especially when George Kennedy say he saw her naked at 3-4 years old. How did he not see that in the script and think this was totally fine? This was rough one to watch with the dialog XD
You should review 10 with Bo Derek, Dudley Moore, and Julie Andrews.
Glad to see ya Cinema Snob doin' ya thing....... Hope all is well.
This movie is in dire need of Lt. Frank Drebin.
The dog's lines were the best.
I got halfway through your review, then went straight to ebay and ordered the DVD, because the dialogue you showed made me giggle a lot.
Well worth the wait.
I saw this one in the theater. I remember sitting there in a nearly empty theater as the last scene as the neon sign spelling ecstasy with an x started flashing on and off and thinking “ this is it. This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.”
I've been waiting for this one 😊 The John Derek reviews are some of the funniest.
The Looney Toons bumper was brilliant.
I once had on old VHS copy of that movie I picked up at a used comic book store
And it was in a “ clamshell “ box like that one too lol
Why do I feel like we all made the watchlist for watching the review of this movie?
Funny how at 16:38 you missed the accidental shot of the "modern day" sailboat just passing by off in the distance. They must have forgotten this was the 1920's and not the 1980's LOL!
Wow, this movie seems really stupid. Always appreciate the jokes about these largely forgotten movies.
Boy Ed sure had a rough going after Frank Drebin accidentally got him fired as the Police Captain
Log on and 19 seconds earlier this video was posted. Ah, forgotten bad movies, what can possible be bett--- actually, after a couple of minutes, a lot of things could be better.
Finally! I have been waiting for Snob to tackle this one
"Dirty Braddy. He doesn't break bad movies, he smashes them!" Hail, to the seventh Python!
Brad, this was AWESOME ! I LAUGHED AND LAUGHED
knowing that bo derek was groomed by john derek for years as a child before marrying her, all those films they did together--especially this one--are so sinister
Mickey Knox was the famous spaghetti western writer and producer. Legend has it that he witnessed Al Mulloch's suicide.
Oh my god this movie is messed up! lol I really want Brad to do Mannequin some day.
I've honestly read hentai with more compelling characters and less awkward dialogue than this.
Bo is , was & always be a beautiful woman, but she's only a slight bit more believable as a young college graduate than Kris Kristofferson in "Heaven's Gate".
Wow, releasing this review on World BDSM Day... Not many people would subject themselves to this torture of a movie
Finally came around to watching this episode. Can't say I've heard of this one, decided to check out a trailer for this one. This movie is...what is it again? An erotic comedy-drama? Its almost hard to categorize this movie. You know the previous owner of the VHS gave zero shits for this one to arrive in such a damaged box.
Never seen a John Derek movie, don't think I ever will, but based on your reviews I believe his work is the ultimate realization of fascinatingly bad. Can't think of many movie reviews that make me drop my jaw and laugh out loud, but the combination of the Snob with some John Derek opus never fails in that regard.
Is there any ethnicity Gino Conforti didn't play?
On the subject of the actual movie, I just got done watching Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, a much better movie set in Spain. It's painful to watch Bo Derek try, and fail, to act, over and over again. The next time someone complains about Daryl Hannah's acting, just show them any Bo Derek scene from this.
This whole thing is such a fever dream, I love it.
That was worth the wait!
Anytime I feel it serves a purpose, I'll replace Bolero with Canyonero.
6:28 The Available Sheik sounds like a ECW comedy act spawned from the unavailability of The Iron Sheik
8:21 I'd love to see the Snob review Follow That Bird
I love when aliens make movies. This was worse than I imagined. But it popped up after the CHUD & CHUD 2 review, so what the hell?
This might actually be worse than Ghosts Can’t Do It even taking into consideration the presence of the Orange Menace playing himself in that film.
#45 probably made that cameo in exchange for being allowed on the set when Bo Derek got naked.
@@asurlybarber3620 nah, she's too old for him.
Getting to bang Bo Derek is just not worth having to cast her in any sort of acting role.
18:12 - The original Hawk Tuah girl
gtfo of here and take your cringey Zoomer memes with you. How dare you come around here with that.