There are many videos of gaming journalists failing to understand the most foundational concepts of the games they are playing, and then turning around and writing about it as if they are experienced experts.
Fun fact: writing is much more important to journalism than being good at video games. You don't have to be good at sports to be a good sports journalist. And you certainly don't have to be good at one game marketed on its difficulty (a game that actually loses a lot and becomes a lesser single player experience because of its difficulty, no less) to be a good journalist/reviewer. That's like saying a food journalist is bad because they've never had that one pufferfish dish with the death.
@@pantslesswrock True, but you should be at least decent or very average at it. Most game journalists, I assume, aren't good at games in respect to gamers. They're just average and that's fine. But seeing journalist like this one in the video is just extremely sad as their incompetence really ruins the experience the developers wants players to feel.
@@pantslesswrock this is the dumbest comment I’ve ever seen. If you’re this terrible at video games that you can’t beat a tutorial that utilizes the most common mechanics in platforming games than you definitely can’t be trusted to write about the game.
@@pantslesswrock actually most sports journalists I’ve seen are retired sportsmen who are past their primes and can’t compete anymore. At least all of the good ones. And most if not all food journalists have to be able to cook well in order to judge the difficulty of the dish cooked. I would not trust a single journalist in anything if they are as brain dead in their field as this dude.
Normally I wouldn't judge someone's overall intelligence just based on playing video games, but because this is someone that literally makes a living doing this, I can't help but do so
Thing is, Dean doesn't specialise in actually playong games more than the tech and business side of things, he just gets invited sometimes to play some games and he has to constantly say that he sucks at games. He is a very casual gamer, he is not good, and this time he sucked a lot more than usual. There is other gameplay videos of him where, while he still sucks, he is competent. Like I say, he is not really payed to play videogames but to report on the other side of gaming
Some of you may not know this, but this man is actually an inspirational figure for depressed people, considering how despite them thinking of themselves as a bunch of failures, they can pull up this video and realise that there are way bigger disappointments roaming around in the sea that is life
It really gets me thinking, your job its literally PLAY A VIDEOGAME, IT CAN BE HARD, BUT YOU ARE EARNING FOR THIS, H O W you can earn for something that 95% of who play videogames PAY to do, and yet, you can be worst that a 6 year old child at your WORK.
I always found it strange that people who end up as _gaming journalists_ somehow don't have the critical thinking skills needed to play games, AKA most of their jobs.
@@JorjIto12872 you need to study how best to slam your readers so they get pissed off and talk about you more. It's not about gaming or journalism, it's about cash and pandering.
@@329link - Wait, really? So they LITERALLY aren't even equipped to properly analyze the content they're reviewing? You're telling me that game journalism...was always a self-serving scam? Somehow, I'm both dumbfounded and unsurprised.
It amazes me that he genuinely isn't trolling. Even when he finally progresses to standing on the block, he couldn't pass. Then when he does I get hope, until we see him fail and fail on even easier sections. This truly is painful.
@@janelleysabelcruz5358 No he didn't. He owned how bad he was and never blamed the game. He even left that footage up in good humour. Little did he know, gamers have less humour than they have of a life..
You know... there are times where I think I'm not very good at video games ...But gaming journalists make me think that maybe I'm not too bad after all lmao
no that joke only works when it's not obvious and we didn't know that but we obviously that he can't get through the tutorial so you said the joke wrong
I think the best part about this is that most people, after experimenting with the controls and discovering the air dash, would have figured out the "jump from a high point and dash for lateral movement" within seconds. And that would be without the blatant instructions written on the walls here. I know this because I've seen a toddler who can't read figure this shit out.
I love that when this first came out they tried to explain it with "he's our strategy game reviewer, he doesn't specialize in platformers!". I'm pretty sure I could've beaten this at age 5.
Couldnt they gotten someone elses gameplay who atleast is semi competent? Like, just call in your gamertard son to do the gameplay for the review. 20+ years of gaming Journalism is inexcusable.
@@magnesjberg24 IIRC this was recorded at some live event where they had only sent this one reporter. Who "didn't specialize in platformers" but since he was there and Cuphead was brand new, he decided to capture some footage. You'd think anyone who's ever played a video game would have the self awareness to see how bad the footage is though.
And it's one of the easiest tutorials ever. I was a little surprised that it was so simple & clear when I first played it because games focused on being hard often have unclear tutorials.
I'm struggling to believe this is real. The "mistakes" he makes don't even make sense half the time. It's like watching someone who is totally normal, but like, drunk or something.
i love how he just occasionally stops moving entirely, has a few seconds of extreme brain activity to try and figure out how to tackle this extremely complicated problem - just to then fucking fail again
I think that he just cannot coordinate his fingers to do what he wants cuz he’s not used to this game. Same happens to me when I can’t pull off a combo in a fighting game so I stop for a sec and try again.
@@Gabgabiga I can see learning a moveset in a fighting game because you don't know it prior, but these skills he's missing are core from any platformer. I believe it to be that he doesn't know the controller by second nature, he's most likely looking at the buttons while he plays.
I came to say this comment is golden Bc you included that you found it somewhere else (standup no to take others credit) …. Then this mf whipps the Abe linkin quote out of no where arguably topping to original comment but overall making the chain perfect.
Takahashi- Th man who couldn’t beat this tutorial The man who didn’t know you could level up in Mass Effect The man who spent an hour jumping into a wall and walking into lava in doom eternal because he couldn’t figure out where to go He”s done it all
A journalist does not have to be perfect at games for his opinion to matter; everyone dies to the first goomba sooner or later. But this is like getting a game over to it.
Look, youre the one who confused the absentminded oblivious food critic by feedin them fish eye soup; ofc theyll mix up what eyeballs theyre sposed to eat
I don't know how many times I've read articles from any industry and thought: "Holy crap. If this is what it takes to be a professional writer, then damn near anyone is more qualified for this job than this author." Then I see something like this, where a gaming journalist fails to grasp the basic rules and instructions around a game with a simple concept. This has really solidified me viewpoint that if you're not good at anything, just write about it, and someone will pay you.
Thats not really fair, if you "arent good at anything" but do a good job writing about things you arent good at, that makes you by definition good at writing. Not defending this guy, but it actually takes a really talented person to write about something they went into blind. Capturing any sort of nuance without years of experience is damn near impossible
Tbf, they get paid like shit and are expected to beat games in like a few days and write a review. But there's no excusing this level of incompetency displayed in this vid.
The real tragedy is that we don't have a voice recording. Like take Arin from Game Grumps. He's mad at video games, isn't good at thinking critically, and gets very emotional very quickly. And we know this because he records what he's saying, and he says what he's thinking. What this guy was thinking will forever be a mystery. Did he know what he was supposed to do what is just really bad at it ? Was he completely oblivious to the obvious solution and just a very confused. Did he think that he just miss something? Do he think that if he did what the things were in in the background said if the pillar would just disappear? Was he angry? Did being angry get him in a cycle of failure? Was he not even paying attention? Was he on his phone half playing the game not taking his job seriously? Or did he fail a couple times, think it would be really funny if he purposely kept messing up? did he purposely mess up because he knew that it would frustrate people and get people talking about the article? There's so much information we simply aren't going to get. The inner machinations of this individual's mind will forever be an enigma, an unsolvable mystery.
There's a bit you can extrapolate from his actions. My guess is he thought you could double jump for some reason, judging by his constant parry attempts. The guy also has a history of being pretty stubborn and unwilling to adapt, so if he thinks something should work, he'll try again and again constantly until his patience wears thin, hence why he never bothered to read the instructions. His incompetence has also been well documented, so this definitely isn't an intentional goof.
@@329link - Being that stubborn is just terrible for getting through life in general. Life demands you make changes and adapt the to the environment in order to succeed. That's how humanity has survived as long as it has.
@@329link this guy’s brain is like a malfunctioning computer. “PREFORM DOUBLE JUMP” “ERROR CANNOT DOUBLE JUMP” “PROCESSING…” “PREFORM DOUBLE JUMP” “ERROR CANNOT DOUBLE JUMP” And so on…
This actually hurt me. Not because the simplest thing they can do is read the text behind the screen, but the fact that the devs tried so hard to make it beginner friendly, just to have someone like this fail. For someone who's job is to write up a story, they sure as hell don't know how to read.
I think, when you're not that familiar with how video games in general work, you might intuitively think that the jumps may vary in hight, and that the vertical distance between the left block and the pillar cancels out the hight advantage it would give you.
I like how he keeps going back to the "JUMP" block, as if to prove something to himself and touch upon that memory of victory still lingering in his mouth. A comfort zone, a time where eveything was simple and straightforward...
I want to point out that there's footage of literal children beating the tutorial faster than this dude. The game is like : "Press Y to dash!" And this dude's just like : "What's dashing do?"
bro i literally saw the Y button to dash and i pressed it and then did the jump by accident because i was moving. it’s nearly possible to do the jump WITHOUT dashing, too
He pressed Y to dash many times right away. He had no problem figuring that part out, it was like 3 seconds in. Reading the words that are there was not the issue.
@@gavinjenkins899 then explain literally the entire minute of him just standing in the corner pressing dash and jumping? He didn’t even stand on the block
@@hhhhhh-vi6sq The hard part is getting to him. Either I die in a stupid way, my laptop starts lagging or I have to fight the monkey and I can't beat the monkey!
The only positive thing I can say about letting people who don’t know shit about video games test this shit for review is that you can understand what a brand new person in gaming is going to experience, that being said letting them review games without disclosing they’re bad at games or new to them is such a horrible thing to do because it just hurts the games rating
@@lovelyyolk9066 it's one thing to suck at cuphead, and something else entirely to not comprehend the most basic of videogame language. Because that's what's happening here. He's unable to comprehend videogame language. The game is communicating to you what it wants from you with platforms and arrows and directions. Anyone that has ever played a game before will have at least a vague experience with this. This guy seems to have 0 of that.
This is what happens when companies hire based on a college degree than on experience. DSP is more reliable than most games journalists and that's sad. No wonder independent reviewers are thriving.
@@wolfsell6684 I don't really think they're bad, just do it on purpose, this brings more views than a normal review / article, especially when you pair it with a hot topic (for the audience of these games) such as needing difficulty sliders, pretty much mass baiting elitists and other angry players into reading it just to bash it and thus increase their numbers, people making fun of them is just what they want
It’s not that he can’t get past the tutorial part of the game, but the instructions are RIGHT THERE FOR YOU TO READ yet this man STILL has no idea how to beat it Imagine a journalist who writes articles for a living be so stupid enough to not READ what’s on a video game screen
@@SHAD0WKNITE Even so, there are visible arrows and buttons on the screen. If I saw an arrow point at a dot in the screen and I saw **bold text** under a picture of the “A” button, regardless of language, the game is telling me to press A when I get to that point.
@@SHAD0WKNITE reminds me of that one guy who criticized Metroid Dread cause he said the game didn’t tell him where to go, where the room he was stuck him had some enemies in another level, I think it’s gamer instinct to just shoot everywhere when we have no idea what to do These types of people are the ones shit talking cause they suck at video games
This video actually makes me feel better about myself. I've always sucked at most games I play, but watching this makes me realise, there's always someone much worse than you.
I don't even play Cuphead and this made me feel physical pain. These pillocks shouldn't be allowed near any platformers, much less any of my favorite games, like Rain World. If a game journalist is talking about Rain World, no he isn't
Given that this isn't even the first enemy and the game outright tells you what to do, this is like being stuck on the title screen of Super Mario Bros, staring at the words "Push Start" for several minutes and not knowing what to do.
There are worst examples, like being told to press ''any'' button to continue and the ''genius'' decides to press the power button and wonder why it didn't work.
If they can't even beat a simple 2 button press jump for more than 20 seconds I don't think they can review the game cuz fucking their so fucking shit at the game, a toddler can do better than this shitty reviewers. Really makes my blood boil considering the fact that reviews like this can't even make past the tutorial only to review it saying it's "hard",fucking GET GOOD then, you are a GAME JOURNALIST your job is to be good at games before you criticize it!
I mightve played like this my first time picking up a controller as a baby. But 20+ years of gaming Journalism and he still plays like a literal toddler, its inexcusable.
Pretty sure I figured it out quicker the first time I picked up Mario, and I was a kid. This guy does not like to play games. He got a writing job involving them because he's also not a good writer.
Remember people: YOU have to go to real work for 8-10 hours. Carry that stuff. Type that math. Serve those customers. While this sad pile of duckey gets paid for *failing at a tutorial a five year old could manage* to THEN give his "professional opinion on it" ... .............. sigh.................
I wanna hear his review, or at least what he said about it. I bet it sounded something like “Although they did promise this game would be really hard, I wasn’t expecting how far they’d go with this. For a tutorial, they made it tough as nails to pass. I bet it was harder than the hardest dark souls dark souls boss. A tutorial is meant to get you into game but for Cuphead, not even the smartest person could get past this. I had to keep trying and trying and trying to get it right until I got past it. The only reason I got past because I just was really lucky. So far, Cuphead is a 1 out of 10, as in they don’t have good difficulty balance, and didn’t care about fairness and only cared about if the game was impossible.”
His actual review was like "I don't play games very often, but the company I work for wants me to publish gameplay of Cuphead because a lot of people are excited for the game, so here are my embarrassing 10 minutes of Cuphead.
This is like one of the overly long jokes in family guy. The one's that start out funny, but as they go on get kinda annoying, then become funny again!
As a kid when I first started playing platformer games like mega man z I always had a lingering doubt in the back of my mind regarding how far I'd be able to with a jump followed by an air dash/series of wall jumps or if I'd be able to make it to a certain platform without falling to my death so I tended to miss out on certain items and consulted guides to be extra sure it was safe to jump This on the other hand is ...something else entirely
@@FJ_Beaujangles I agree, it's just that this was my general situation for any platformer game with dash and jump mechanics on any console where my main worry was just timing the inputs right and now looking back this was actually more of a problem with me for the mega man x and metroid (for shinespark parts) games and it didn't help either that I only played them on phone emulators so adjusting to the controls took time
@@indranilroy4822 Understandable. If you still emulate on your phone some people don't know you can pair an xbox one and I think even switch pro controller with Bluetooth. If you have one lying around it helps a lot
I mean, that's completely fair. I didn't really have access to the internet back when I first played MMZ3 (my first Zero game) and that GBA screen is really small. Some of the jumps you're expected to make with that screen space are a bit much
You don’t need any special training or knowledge to become a game journo. Any moron can review games. The problem I see with that tutorial is that it combines 2 mechanics. Jump and dash. Simple as that tutorial may seem I can come up with a tutorial many people can't get past.
We joke about how game journalists want the games to hold their hands the whole way through, but clearly that’s not enough. The Cuphead tutorial literally spells out everything it wants from you. These idiots just want the game to play itself.
As a Mega Man veteran, I introduced my 7 year old relative to Mega Man and choose MM5 as a starting point. Within a day, he learned how to beat Gravity Man and in a week of occasionally playing MM5 he started beating stages faster than I do (I wasn't trying to speedrun and played at a normal pace). Seeing this, I really want to know what even happened there... 1K likes update: Jesus Christ, that's the biggest amount of likes I had within few days
I know a few gaming journos around Quebec City and Montreal. The main issue the profession has is that you don't really start as a gamer; you start your journalism career as a writer. Then you land yourself a few reporting gigs, someone from the Tech section notices you sophomorically futzing around with a handheld, and figures "'Hey, that guy looks like a gamer! I'll ask him about writing a games review column every X days!" So you end up with a guy who has bigger headlines to cover (mergers and acquisitions, prototypes, breakthroughs in consumer tech, etc) who *maybe* has a few hours a month to begrudgingly put on a game he might not even be interested in. This is the end result. Dean Takahashi cannot pass Cuphead's tutorial level because he has no professional incentive to do so. He doesn't need to be informative; he just needs to produce a take that can be integrated in his site's publishing queue on time. He doesn't need to be good at the game - and doesn't even need to *care*. Of course, the opposite end is GameSpot, where you sort of get the sense that there's some work that's been actually done, but that it's all swallowed by the need to give the tentpole releases the exact kinds of big scores that'll keep the site afloat in sponsorships. In-between, you've got a lot of TH-camrs and smaller vloggers - and this is where I'd say you find honest, workable and valuable games criticism.
@@stuffwithsoph8264 Yes, I did mean Quebec City. I apologize if it wasn't clear enough, I'm an ESL speaker and had a brain fart. Just called Quebec City "Quebec" seeing as that's what we do in French.
Holy shit, precisely this. Don’t get me wrong, the gameplay here can still be questionable, but i think so many people who grew up playing games massively overestimate just how much subconscious habits and lessons get engrained into by playing games as a kid. Recently tried to get some friends who really never play video games at all into some that I thought they’d enjoy, and whilst I made a conscious effort to be as explanatory as possible, often the parts that confused them most, or had them stumble the most, were aspects I hadn’t even thought about. Things like combining actions like moving and jumping, or even where certain settings where in menus. They aren’t stupid, they just haven’t had these experiences drilled into them at a young age, and I think a lot of people in these comments completely forget that.
- This dude dashed his head into the wall MULTIPLE times assuming that it would eventually work - If he had used more than 2 of his braincells he could get over the wall in three seconds - There is a goddamn arrow pointing to where you should dash to get to the platform - This dude has to be on all the drugs at once to not put the pieces together - I’ve failed this jump before. Just once tho shhhh - The music stopped comedically at the same time he got over the wall - I still think about this clip every time I think I’m bad at video games. It’s been four years - I’m surprised he finished the parry section in a shorter amount of time - I fear for the day he escapes the tutorial only to die at the first boss
My grandfather who lives in the province, who's only used a fliphone and a TV, after a simple explanation of the controls beat not only the tutorial but AN ACTUAL BOSS
You know, though I'm a gamer I don't really mind the idea of at least some game journalists not being great at games since then they can give insight for it to people who aren't so great at games. That being said, this isn't even a cognitive human being functioning here. A person should be able to recognize simple patterns and through trial and error (ideally 1/4th the time this guy took) figure out "Huh, okay this isn't working maybe I should press Y in the air instead."
Or really just basic reading ability and comprehension lol. I admit, I’m a video game novice with not very many titles under my belt, but I think even I could’ve completed this faster (I might’ve struggled a bit with the parry section though tbh).
I don't think this has much to do with cognitive function here. This is just somebody who's really bad with hand-eye coordination and timing in general. My GF's mother struggled to get past the same part, and it was because she wasn't used to having to press and hold a button while pressing and holding on a stick and timing a second button press at the apex of the jump. Another friend's mother also had difficulty coordinating two joysticks for Geometry Wars. I also had Japanese foreign exchange students visit decades ago who struggled to play Xbox because they weren't used to the controller scheme. Some people just aren't used to these control schemes or different inputs. Watching non-Smashers play Super Smash Bros. Melee also looks a lot like this when they can't do precise tech. I guess people have also forgotten how difficult Contra was considered to be back in the day when this kind of gameplay was new.
this is the same man who jumped around in circles in Doom Eternal and didnt know you could level up in Mass Effect 💀 I am flabbergasted as to how this man still has his job after 21 YEARS
@@MarcoAdventures Wait, this man isn’t a boomer? I would expect this level of ineptitude from a much older person, not from what is supposed to be a fairly young millennial.
@@peggedyourdad9560 There's these old ladies on the internet streaming themselves playing games like Skyrim. Age has nothing to do with it. This just really seems like someone who has zero interest in games and refuses to research their job but will still do the work.
@@mnArqal93 I know, I just meant that it's more common and acceptable for older individuals to have a tough time getting the hang of video games. Not, that it would be impossible for an old person to play them.
Can't believe this masterpiece/example of humanity's I.Q is already 4 years old!? Damn time sure flies when you beat many tutorials. Well either way hope y'all are enjoying the new DLC an PLEASE let's hope no secret tutorials on the DLC or ANY at all in any future games for this poor fella...
You're saying that pretty generally. I don't think there's more than 10 people (not including retarded people, blind people who play this alone and other kind of disability) who didn't thought of reading the text of tutorial after failed attempts
I will admit, that did take me and a buddy a couple minutes to figure out how to dash in the air properly. But we knew that was us being dumb, not a flaw in the game design.
In his defence, he was never actually going to write a review for Cuphead, but he apparently has reviewed some games like Mass Effect, which is insane, he shouldn't be paid to review games let alone be allowed to reviw them
I remember this but never saw the video. I'm surprised someone that cannot follow instruction nor have a basic level of intuitive intelligence can find work. It's astounding.
The biggest irony is that this tutorial is so easy to the point that it doesn’t reflect the ACTUAL difficulty of the game at all. But he made it seem like it the tutorial was as hard as the main game.
Whenever you think you're the absolute worst at video games, remember that this chode exists, and you'll realize that you could always be _much_ worse.
From this behaviour in a tutorial, i see only two answers : Either he is really bad at video games (learning, adapting, etc), or he is simply intoxicated (drunk, baked, others). But i just can't accept someone being this bad after 20+ years doing this job. At one point either your brain clicks and you get better, or you just stop and accept it isn't for you.
He writes about the business side of the game industry, and rarely plays games or does reviews. The only reason he did with cuphead is the company he works for wanted to capitalize off the hype and he was the only one around to do it. He also said good things about the game.
It looks like if you hand the gamepad to your mom. Its obvious the guy doesnt play video games, he's just a journalist. The slow movement, the thinking after every move, the waiting times between commands shown on screen (he had to see where the button is located) proves the guy simply never plays videogames and doesnt know how a controller works.
Googles the answer and/or watches a TH-cam video. This is what I do when I fix my car or other challenging things I've never done before like construction projects or building a computer after purchasing the components piece by piece. Has to work on simple things like this as well.
Video games can be very difficult for people with lacking experience in them. My mom is a very smart women with a degree in math, but she could barely manage to play the first level in Overcooked when we got her too. She had difficulty maneuvering the controls, keeping track of herself, and understanding what she was doing on screen. It was such an unfamiliar process for her that it was difficult for to pick up, because none of the required skills came naturally to her. When you aren’t familiar with how video game mechanics work, it can be hard to work out a solution that to many players seems very simple. I watched a video once about a guy who had his wife, who had 0 video game experience, try playing a series of games, and she struggled to pick up many mechanics that many players understood intuitively. Everyone tends to be kind of dumb at certain things
I love how the music concludes at 1:21 when he finally completes the jump, only for it to begin playing all over again as the journalist continues his shenanigans onto the next part
The longer I watch this, the more surprised I am that this guy even made it past the main menu.
"Press start to begin"
What can this even mean ?
@@crash-testproductions9341 *presses PC startup button
@@uselesstable2058 What? It didnt work? Hold on i know! Im gonna start my car and it will turn on!
@@Lillianz2012 It didn't work, I'm going to turn on the nuclear bomb so it starts.
@@user-zv8li5ix7t Dam, it isn't working still? Oh, I have to turn on my BEAN MACHINE
I think we found the dude playing on all those mobile game ads.
_Oh No no, No!_
This is the best comment.
WE FOUND EM
Holy shit YES DUDE IT IS TOTALLY This muthafuckah right here I swear
that's almost true mobile ads are even more dumb than this but this mkan get dangerously close
People like these are the ones who make final decision in GOTY awards.
People like this are the reason The Last of Us 2 won Game of the Year.
@@inilthfirescales1287 They were probably able to get through the game on Easy mode with all the aids on
@@inilthfirescales1287 shit game, hate it when jessica did the doobly doo what huh??????
And that is why none of us should pay attention to Game of the Year awards.
Or any other awards, really.
Yeah but Control was a pretty good game
I like how this singular guy basically annihilated the reputation of game journalism online
There are many videos of gaming journalists failing to understand the most foundational concepts of the games they are playing, and then turning around and writing about it as if they are experienced experts.
It was tarnished long before that but yeah, this helped a lot reaching the finish line
@@miloinindo true, but this is pretty bad
If game journalism was a old man in the hospital, this guy took the plug off
@@miloinindo yea like doom
Fun fact: he is game journalist for over 20 years.
Yep
Fun fact: writing is much more important to journalism than being good at video games. You don't have to be good at sports to be a good sports journalist. And you certainly don't have to be good at one game marketed on its difficulty (a game that actually loses a lot and becomes a lesser single player experience because of its difficulty, no less) to be a good journalist/reviewer. That's like saying a food journalist is bad because they've never had that one pufferfish dish with the death.
@@pantslesswrock True, but you should be at least decent or very average at it. Most game journalists, I assume, aren't good at games in respect to gamers. They're just average and that's fine. But seeing journalist like this one in the video is just extremely sad as their incompetence really ruins the experience the developers wants players to feel.
@@pantslesswrock this is the dumbest comment I’ve ever seen. If you’re this terrible at video games that you can’t beat a tutorial that utilizes the most common mechanics in platforming games than you definitely can’t be trusted to write about the game.
@@pantslesswrock actually most sports journalists I’ve seen are retired sportsmen who are past their primes and can’t compete anymore. At least all of the good ones. And most if not all food journalists have to be able to cook well in order to judge the difficulty of the dish cooked. I would not trust a single journalist in anything if they are as brain dead in their field as this dude.
Normally I wouldn't judge someone's overall intelligence just based on playing video games, but because this is someone that literally makes a living doing this, I can't help but do so
Even my mother would be better at this
Thing is, Dean doesn't specialise in actually playong games more than the tech and business side of things, he just gets invited sometimes to play some games and he has to constantly say that he sucks at games. He is a very casual gamer, he is not good, and this time he sucked a lot more than usual. There is other gameplay videos of him where, while he still sucks, he is competent. Like I say, he is not really payed to play videogames but to report on the other side of gaming
@@lovelyyolk9066 playing games for years should make you competent in platformers though.
my girlfriend brother is like 6 and he did it first try 😭 this shit is ridiculous
@@lovelyyolk9066 I'm tryna chill and watch funny videos not review essays
*_Goddamn!_*
Some of you may not know this, but this man is actually an inspirational figure for depressed people, considering how despite them thinking of themselves as a bunch of failures, they can pull up this video and realise that there are way bigger disappointments roaming around in the sea that is life
that's smart
They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.
Sick burn.
Toasted
Roasted
I was diagnosed with a heavy form of depression about a month ago and I can confirm that that is unironically true, lol.
Gaming journalist is such an interesting profession. Being terrible at both gaming and journalism, yet still doing both is really fascinating.
The cuphead guy isn’t even a game journalist though. But no one bothered to research that cos the internet is full of retards.
Reminds me of the redfall gameplay
FACTS
They only know how to gaslight you 😂
It really gets me thinking, your job its literally PLAY A VIDEOGAME, IT CAN BE HARD, BUT YOU ARE EARNING FOR THIS, H O W you can earn for something that 95% of who play videogames PAY to do, and yet, you can be worst that a 6 year old child at your WORK.
I always found it strange that people who end up as _gaming journalists_ somehow don't have the critical thinking skills needed to play games, AKA most of their jobs.
That's because they are the rejects from the pool of political journalists and not gamers.
What do you need to study to be a game journalist anyways? Seems you can graduate without playing a single videogame
@@JorjIto12872 you need to study how best to slam your readers so they get pissed off and talk about you more. It's not about gaming or journalism, it's about cash and pandering.
@@329link - Wait, really? So they LITERALLY aren't even equipped to properly analyze the content they're reviewing? You're telling me that game journalism...was always a self-serving scam?
Somehow, I'm both dumbfounded and unsurprised.
@@329link you just described most journalism though.
It amazes me that he genuinely isn't trolling. Even when he finally progresses to standing on the block, he couldn't pass. Then when he does I get hope, until we see him fail and fail on even easier sections. This truly is painful.
He also trashed on mass effect because he didn't know you could level up and thought the game was almost impossible
@@Chloedasher and doom eternal
@@Chloedasher Just when I thought it couldn't get worse
I wonder what happens if he plays games like Demon souls
The person has 4 hp on the bottom left, if it were someones first time they would have 3 :(
Even the game knows how ridiculous this is. The music loop ends right as he finally makes the easy jump like “ooh wow, good job, idiot”
It does! It's so thematically perfect
Wow, perfect timing 😂
LMAO
coincidences like this actually mindfuck me a bit. even his movement and bullets at the end line up well with the ending of the song.
Well good job bozo idlot you dumbo ass he isn’t English
I love how music starts anew at 1:30 just as he stumbles on the next obstacle. It's like the game's saying, "here we go again!"
You just made this video 50 times more hilarious for me.
aint nobody getting stuck in the tutorial long enough for the music track to repeat itself 💀 this dude...
"new music, new obstacle"
I shared the clip to my housemate and read this comment as I heard the music reach that point. 😂
777 LIKES DONT CHANGE IT
His review later: " the controls are slow and klunky, can't even beat the tutorial"
Takahashi even said "the game didin't say that i need to go to the block to get to the cylinder" hes such a dumbass.
@@janelleysabelcruz5358 No he didn't. He owned how bad he was and never blamed the game. He even left that footage up in good humour. Little did he know, gamers have less humour than they have of a life..
@@cynical8464 yeah, sure he did😂
@@cynical8464 shut the fuck up.
@@cynical8464 whats humorous about a game journalist not knowing how to play games?
This looks like the initial stages of an AI trying to learn to play a game
And AI will make it in the end, he is worse than a baby AI
I was looking for this very comment...
Tbh a neural network would need longer, but plays the game perfect after the first level
Except it's Natural, and not intelligence...
So N
LMAO TRUE
Fun Fact : For journalists, this is considered a Speedrun.
nobody has beat his record yet
@@cleberva That's because he's still setting it
@@The_Catalin lol
@@The_Catalin some say to this day he is still playing the tutorial
He really knows how to save frames
one must imagine game journalist happy
You know... there are times where I think I'm not very good at video games
...But gaming journalists make me think that maybe I'm not too bad after all lmao
lmaoooo same
I think is fake, because 4 hp, but if this is real i would be proud that i'm not that bad at games lmao
It's the cuphead demo,its normal that he has 4 hp. It's not a normal copy of the game.
@@ULTRAMUERTE_ULTRAKILLJOJO
Sadly it‘s not fake.
@@ULTRAMUERTE_ULTRAKILLJOJO if it was fake then the word would be more peaceful
If you ever feel useless, remember that he can’t pass a tutorial.
no that joke only works when it's not obvious and we didn't know that but we obviously that he can't get through the tutorial so you said the joke wrong
@@thejadekatana8891 676 people say otherwise my friend
@@thejadekatana8891 R A T I O
@@thejadekatana8891 Idk man ._.
@@thejadekatana8891 wrong
I think the best part about this is that most people, after experimenting with the controls and discovering the air dash, would have figured out the "jump from a high point and dash for lateral movement" within seconds.
And that would be without the blatant instructions written on the walls here. I know this because I've seen a toddler who can't read figure this shit out.
Unless you're referring to the comparison someone did between this gameplay and his toddler, you should look that up.
@@drakematsen4978 th-cam.com/video/hC4F6ctEO4g/w-d-xo.html
@@drakematsen4978 it's up on youtube?
@@Decidueye9147 it is
@👁️ th-cam.com/video/hC4F6ctEO4g/w-d-xo.html
I love that when this first came out they tried to explain it with "he's our strategy game reviewer, he doesn't specialize in platformers!". I'm pretty sure I could've beaten this at age 5.
Couldnt they gotten someone elses gameplay who atleast is semi competent? Like, just call in your gamertard son to do the gameplay for the review. 20+ years of gaming Journalism is inexcusable.
Some guy actually recorded his 6-year-old daughter playing this tutorial for the first time, and she did it faster than this guy.
@@magnesjberg24 IIRC this was recorded at some live event where they had only sent this one reporter. Who "didn't specialize in platformers" but since he was there and Cuphead was brand new, he decided to capture some footage. You'd think anyone who's ever played a video game would have the self awareness to see how bad the footage is though.
@@poika22 thats very unprofessional. i would be ashamed if that was my footage
Oh yeah, he’s definitely a strategy game guy, put him in a strategy game and he definitely won’t use a support move on an enemy
“If you pass this level, your legally skilled”
"My legally skilled what?"
@@chroma1080 wow, you came 13 mins prior to me.
You have I‘m respect.
@@Knaeckekarl Wow you came 3 mins prior to me, I'm impressed
@@Catmangamer wow you came 51 second prior to me,nice
"99,9% of people can't beat this level"
How can a man who plays games for a paycheck not do a tutorial
creative name imagine him playing sekiro
And it's one of the easiest tutorials ever. I was a little surprised that it was so simple & clear when I first played it because games focused on being hard often have unclear tutorials.
@Shom ive never heard of Sekrio, is it any good?
@@dingusmann3003 yeah it’s pretty fun
@@jacobscott7261 ill have to check it out then
I'm struggling to believe this is real. The "mistakes" he makes don't even make sense half the time. It's like watching someone who is totally normal, but like, drunk or something.
@Ghost I've seen people try to use fine motor skills like "walking" while drunk and it's kind of similar to this, really.
@@Selrisitai I recently played cuphead drunk, wasn't that bad, made almost the same progress as usual
@@theRPGmaster Did you play it for the first time? And how drunk were you?
@@theRPGmaster how drunk where you tho?
@@Selrisitai Not for the first time, but after a 1y break. It was about 6-7 beers in (alc.5%)
Me after the lobotomy
LMAOOOOO
ruSSia moment
@@GuidelinesViolator🫵😂
@GuidelinesViolater
Great adding politics here, congratulations (not).
@@m.n.o.546 Even without that, russians are well known to be braindead in video games. Have you ever met a russian in csgo?
It's insane how everytime this guy learns a new move, he forgets the last one. It's like he has the memory of a goldfish or something.
I don't think they forgot they just don't realize they need to apply those moves together
@@pumkin610 I think he actually forgot
He's probably assuming that he won't need to use his accrued knowledge for the rest of the tutorial
He's just button mashing
I'd say its more like pokemon
Throw this guy against DSP in Dark Souls 1v1, no backseaters. A battle for the ages.
Just throw him to minecraft in peaceful mode in a mini hole spawn
Accurate since Cuphead is the run and gun's of dark souls
Just put him against gundyr, he still won’t win
He couldn’t beat pinwheel
@@jaba4720 he couldn't hardly beat the tutorial, he wouldn't be able to beat any DS boss.
i love how he just occasionally stops moving entirely, has a few seconds of extreme brain activity to try and figure out how to tackle this extremely complicated problem - just to then fucking fail again
I think that he just cannot coordinate his fingers to do what he wants cuz he’s not used to this game. Same happens to me when I can’t pull off a combo in a fighting game so I stop for a sec and try again.
@@Gabgabiga He wasn't even jumping or dashing from the right location for the majority of it
@@unrelentingpest 🤓
@@Gabgabiga I can see learning a moveset in a fighting game because you don't know it prior, but these skills he's missing are core from any platformer.
I believe it to be that he doesn't know the controller by second nature, he's most likely looking at the buttons while he plays.
@@Kuhtlass Okay. Sorry for bad English😔
It would be interesting to see how he'd fair against one of those kid's toys where you have to get the shapes through the right holes.
He tried to fit a pentagon through a triangular hole.
the square hole
He'd shove it up his arse
@@amewtwofanThat’s right! It goes in the square hole!
He would stare at it for 15 minutes and then ask if he’s supposed to eat the shapes
You know this wouldn’t be so humiliating if it was the AI learning how to play. They probably would’ve done better than this game journalist anyways.
Yes well the AI has that I in its definition, the journo only has the A.
@@yaelz6043 No, it's still AI, but in this case, it means Artificial Idiot
@@wio1 HAHAHA.
@@wio1 I stand corrected.
@@wio1 Artificial Iridium
"When you make something idiot-proof, God will make a better idiot."
- A comment on a different video that I saw a while ago.
If you can't figure out the tutorial, the game is obviously beyond you.
😂😂
No matter how much you dumb it down, there will always be someone too dumb to understand it.
"You don't have to include a source for your quotes when you don't remember where they came from"
-Abe Lincoln
I came to say this comment is golden Bc you included that you found it somewhere else (standup no to take others credit) …. Then this mf whipps the Abe linkin quote out of no where arguably topping to original comment but overall making the chain perfect.
Takahashi-
Th man who couldn’t beat this tutorial
The man who didn’t know you could level up in Mass Effect
The man who spent an hour jumping into a wall and walking into lava in doom eternal because he couldn’t figure out where to go
He”s done it all
😂😂 this man's track record ...is just wow
How the hell does he still find work? Is the entire industry full of idiots like him?
Honestly, if he comes out saying he was trolling around some years later, I wouldn't be suprised because how can one be so stupid
If you want to know if the game is too hard for your grandma or dog or your grandma's dog, read the Takahashi review.
That guy bring a shame to japanese people.
The fact that he is struggled and don't know what to do but the character in the game is smiling make this super funny
This th-cam.com/video/eD5z5Zkcc0s/w-d-xo.html
His name is Cuphead
@cricky8799 To clarify: the character
Can this guy read
Was wondering the same thing. Like maybe he can’t read English. So all he sees is the buttons.
@@sandywolfr26 his review was written in english so he can certainly read.
Green Bandit then there really is no excuse for this sad display.
Green Bandit probably translated with google translater
No
A journalist does not have to be perfect at games for his opinion to matter; everyone dies to the first goomba sooner or later.
But this is like getting a game over to it.
Nah this is more like the equivalent of getting a game over in a game that doesn't even have a game over
we found the game journo
@@rhysjonsmusic read the comment again.
@@KhryausOHowl you sure? It looks more like losing to the loading screen to me
@@KhryausOHowl cuphead
This is like being a food critic who keeps stabbing his eyeballs with the fork
Look, youre the one who confused the absentminded oblivious food critic by feedin them fish eye soup; ofc theyll mix up what eyeballs theyre sposed to eat
It's like a being a food critic who keeps missing his mouth and gets food all over his lap.
That was fucking creepy and unnecessary but ok
@@pawbgles I'm very right and you were being weird
@@phantomwarrior8686 As someone who lives weird, OPs comment was not creepy, weird, or unnecessary.
It was an apt metaphor.
I don't know how many times I've read articles from any industry and thought:
"Holy crap. If this is what it takes to be a professional writer, then damn near anyone is more qualified for this job than this author."
Then I see something like this, where a gaming journalist fails to grasp the basic rules and instructions around a game with a simple concept.
This has really solidified me viewpoint that if you're not good at anything, just write about it, and someone will pay you.
Thats not really fair, if you "arent good at anything" but do a good job writing about things you arent good at, that makes you by definition good at writing. Not defending this guy, but it actually takes a really talented person to write about something they went into blind. Capturing any sort of nuance without years of experience is damn near impossible
Tbf, they get paid like shit and are expected to beat games in like a few days and write a review. But there's no excusing this level of incompetency displayed in this vid.
@@skeetsmcgrew3282 they aren't good at writing about it.
@@TheDeathby2 Getting paid to play games, the horror.
Journalism and matter experts in a nutshell
The real tragedy is that we don't have a voice recording. Like take Arin from Game Grumps. He's mad at video games, isn't good at thinking critically, and gets very emotional very quickly. And we know this because he records what he's saying, and he says what he's thinking.
What this guy was thinking will forever be a mystery.
Did he know what he was supposed to do what is just really bad at it ? Was he completely oblivious to the obvious solution and just a very confused. Did he think that he just miss something? Do he think that if he did what the things were in in the background said if the pillar would just disappear? Was he angry? Did being angry get him in a cycle of failure? Was he not even paying attention? Was he on his phone half playing the game not taking his job seriously? Or did he fail a couple times, think it would be really funny if he purposely kept messing up? did he purposely mess up because he knew that it would frustrate people and get people talking about the article?
There's so much information we simply aren't going to get. The inner machinations of this individual's mind will forever be an enigma, an unsolvable mystery.
There's a bit you can extrapolate from his actions. My guess is he thought you could double jump for some reason, judging by his constant parry attempts. The guy also has a history of being pretty stubborn and unwilling to adapt, so if he thinks something should work, he'll try again and again constantly until his patience wears thin, hence why he never bothered to read the instructions. His incompetence has also been well documented, so this definitely isn't an intentional goof.
@@329link - Being that stubborn is just terrible for getting through life in general. Life demands you make changes and adapt the to the environment in order to succeed. That's how humanity has survived as long as it has.
That's because he wasn't thinking.
There was not a single fucking atom in his brain that was functioning properly.
@@329link this guy’s brain is like a malfunctioning computer.
“PREFORM DOUBLE JUMP”
“ERROR CANNOT DOUBLE JUMP”
“PROCESSING…”
“PREFORM DOUBLE JUMP”
“ERROR CANNOT DOUBLE JUMP”
And so on…
Totally agree, but still had an aneurysm reading that
This actually hurt me. Not because the simplest thing they can do is read the text behind the screen, but the fact that the devs tried so hard to make it beginner friendly, just to have someone like this fail.
For someone who's job is to write up a story, they sure as hell don't know how to read.
The problem solving clearly isn't there either 😬
Some people are just born slow…
Do you think when they fought their first boss they rage quitted as soon as they took a hit ten seconds into the fight?
@@Keyfur91 no because they couldn't figure out how to reach the Quit option in the menu.
@@sam8404 They probably dont even know where the boss is on the map.
I swear this is like watching an AI learn. Man, you've already tried jumping from the ground eight times, maybe it's time to jump from the block?
No, I am *ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENT* that an AI can do better than this
I think, when you're not that familiar with how video games in general work, you might intuitively think that the jumps may vary in hight, and that the vertical distance between the left block and the pillar cancels out the hight advantage it would give you.
I like how he keeps going back to the "JUMP" block, as if to prove something to himself and touch upon that memory of victory still lingering in his mouth.
A comfort zone, a time where eveything was simple and straightforward...
I want to point out that there's footage of literal children beating the tutorial faster than this dude.
The game is like :
"Press Y to dash!"
And this dude's just like :
"What's dashing do?"
bro i literally saw the Y button to dash and i pressed it and then did the jump by accident because i was moving. it’s nearly possible to do the jump WITHOUT dashing, too
There's a video of a pigeon completing a task faster than this guy finished this tutorial lmao
If I can beat halo reach on heroic at 6 he can beat a tutorial at 30
He pressed Y to dash many times right away. He had no problem figuring that part out, it was like 3 seconds in. Reading the words that are there was not the issue.
@@gavinjenkins899 then explain literally the entire minute of him just standing in the corner pressing dash and jumping? He didn’t even stand on the block
Whenever I feel stupid about dying 100+ times in this game, I watch this and I feel better
I didnt finish the second isle yet and I have 1100+ deaths
@@neodintchly My death counter hasn’t changed because when I get hit I restart. Fuck S Ranks
King Dice is the reason why I can't continue. I don't know why I struggle with him, but he's currently been undefeated for nearly three years now
@@REDFRLegend king dice is easy you can control your roll with decent enough timing and always land on the hp squares and safe squares
@@hhhhhh-vi6sq The hard part is getting to him. Either I die in a stupid way, my laptop starts lagging or I have to fight the monkey and I can't beat the monkey!
The only positive thing I can say about letting people who don’t know shit about video games test this shit for review is that you can understand what a brand new person in gaming is going to experience, that being said letting them review games without disclosing they’re bad at games or new to them is such a horrible thing to do because it just hurts the games rating
Thing is, he did, he said many times in his report that he sucked at cuphead and that thefootage was shameful
@@lovelyyolk9066 why are you in everyone's replies defending him XD you must be the journalist
@@lovelyyolk9066 it's one thing to suck at cuphead, and something else entirely to not comprehend the most basic of videogame language. Because that's what's happening here. He's unable to comprehend videogame language. The game is communicating to you what it wants from you with platforms and arrows and directions. Anyone that has ever played a game before will have at least a vague experience with this. This guy seems to have 0 of that.
This is what happens when companies hire based on a college degree than on experience. DSP is more reliable than most games journalists and that's sad. No wonder independent reviewers are thriving.
A five year old got past this faster than they did
If you're ever playing a game and it has a mode dedicated to just "experiencing the story", this is why.
It’s like he’s playing blindfolded...
And his little brother is playing
And his controller is unplugged
You can blindfolded defeat every boss in the first isle
And he's playing with a USB steering wheel
The game was so easy he fell asleep while playing it
I love how at 0:56 after the air dash you can hear the gears in his head starting to turn.
Yeah, he is one of these people who are so slow you can actually hear the gears turning in their head as they make their next thought.
Imagine getting paid to play games and being that bad at them lol
@@wolfsell6684 I don't really think they're bad, just do it on purpose, this brings more views than a normal review / article, especially when you pair it with a hot topic (for the audience of these games) such as needing difficulty sliders, pretty much mass baiting elitists and other angry players into reading it just to bash it and thus increase their numbers, people making fun of them is just what they want
@@johjoh9270you’re probably right but I still don’t like ign because of they’re bias towards Sony
The moment before a brilliant revelation.
It’s not that he can’t get past the tutorial part of the game, but the instructions are RIGHT THERE FOR YOU TO READ yet this man STILL has no idea how to beat it
Imagine a journalist who writes articles for a living be so stupid enough to not READ what’s on a video game screen
OMFG like dude it's right above you just do what it says lol
I just assumed he couldn't read English
@@SHAD0WKNITE Even so, there are visible arrows and buttons on the screen. If I saw an arrow point at a dot in the screen and I saw **bold text** under a picture of the “A” button, regardless of language, the game is telling me to press A when I get to that point.
@@DriedJizzSock true
@@SHAD0WKNITE reminds me of that one guy who criticized Metroid Dread cause he said the game didn’t tell him where to go, where the room he was stuck him had some enemies in another level, I think it’s gamer instinct to just shoot everywhere when we have no idea what to do
These types of people are the ones shit talking cause they suck at video games
This video actually makes me feel better about myself. I've always sucked at most games I play, but watching this makes me realise, there's always someone much worse than you.
Theres always someone out there having it worse.
Just remember that no matter what you do, there's an Asian guy that can do it better and a journalist that will be much worse
Being a full percenter and speedrunner of Cuphead, this not just shocked me but made me feel pain the more I watched.
I don't even play Cuphead and this made me feel physical pain. These pillocks shouldn't be allowed near any platformers, much less any of my favorite games, like Rain World. If a game journalist is talking about Rain World, no he isn't
@@JetFalcon710 based rain world enjoyer
@@obeeked1385 Yeah, it's pretty fun after you've accepted that death is inevitable
Post your cuphead speedrun pls
@@Hulijingjinx I don't have i on computer, I would speedrun on switch so sadly I can't. sorry
Given that this isn't even the first enemy and the game outright tells you what to do, this is like being stuck on the title screen of Super Mario Bros, staring at the words "Push Start" for several minutes and not knowing what to do.
There are worst examples, like being told to press ''any'' button to continue and the ''genius'' decides to press the power button and wonder why it didn't work.
@@reborno-o4498 LOL SO TRUE
@@reborno-o4498 I know that someone, somewhere has had this exact thing happen to them.
@@reborno-o4498 but at least they do it for the memes most of the time
Tried giving this part to a friend who very rarely play games and they managed it on second attempt.
This dude is a professional videogame reviewer 🤣
"professional"
If they can't even beat a simple 2 button press jump for more than 20 seconds I don't think they can review the game cuz fucking their so fucking shit at the game, a toddler can do better than this shitty reviewers.
Really makes my blood boil considering the fact that reviews like this can't even make past the tutorial only to review it saying it's "hard",fucking GET GOOD then, you are a GAME JOURNALIST your job is to be good at games before you criticize it!
And then after that, he gives his "professional" opinion
We've all had these moments playing a video game. But not all of us have used a moment like this to criticize a game and then get paid for it.
I mightve played like this my first time picking up a controller as a baby. But 20+ years of gaming Journalism and he still plays like a literal toddler, its inexcusable.
my first video game was Sonic 2 at the age of 3 years old, and i still don’t think i’ve ever had any moments like this
@@magnesjberg2420 years we’ll spend lmao
Pretty sure I figured it out quicker the first time I picked up Mario, and I was a kid.
This guy does not like to play games. He got a writing job involving them because he's also not a good writer.
Never this bad though
Me: Man the first boss is hard!
This guy: HoLd My BeAr
hold my bear
@@SJC82 I'll hold it alright
A whole ass bear
Scold my beer
I would say to any one that says that meme is an idiot
Remember people: YOU have to go to real work for 8-10 hours. Carry that stuff. Type that math. Serve those customers.
While this sad pile of duckey gets paid for *failing at a tutorial a five year old could manage* to THEN give his "professional opinion on it" ...
.............. sigh.................
Lol
Too right, mate. (Typed at a low paying job I dislike, but keep because it's near my elderly mother.)
god damn man i feel that shit
I suggest we burn gaming journalism to the ground
I doubt it pays well.
I wanna hear his review, or at least what he said about it. I bet it sounded something like “Although they did promise this game would be really hard, I wasn’t expecting how far they’d go with this. For a tutorial, they made it tough as nails to pass. I bet it was harder than the hardest dark souls dark souls boss. A tutorial is meant to get you into game but for Cuphead, not even the smartest person could get past this. I had to keep trying and trying and trying to get it right until I got past it. The only reason I got past because I just was really lucky. So far, Cuphead is a 1 out of 10, as in they don’t have good difficulty balance, and didn’t care about fairness and only cared about if the game was impossible.”
That sounds like a ign review
He actually said that he enjoyed his time with it, and admitted that this gameplay of him failing the tutorial is quite shameful.
His actual review was like "I don't play games very often, but the company I work for wants me to publish gameplay of Cuphead because a lot of people are excited for the game, so here are my embarrassing 10 minutes of Cuphead.
@@Fi___ an actual respectable journalist being honest? Where did more like him go?
The state of videogame journalism.
Seven years ago? Man, it feels like yesterday. I feel old.
This is like one of the overly long jokes in family guy. The one's that start out funny, but as they go on get kinda annoying, then become funny again!
"This is like that time I tried playing cuphead!"
“Hey Lois, remember that time I went to the white room with that ‘Cup Head’ guy?”
"then become funny again!"
Family Guy??
As a kid when I first started playing platformer games like mega man z I always had a lingering doubt in the back of my mind regarding how far I'd be able to with a jump followed by an air dash/series of wall jumps or if I'd be able to make it to a certain platform without falling to my death so I tended to miss out on certain items and consulted guides to be extra sure it was safe to jump
This on the other hand is ...something else entirely
Ok but the MMZ games slapped and the dash, dash jump, wall jumps, dash wall jumps all felt so fucking good tho. Smoothest GBA controls of all time.
@@FJ_Beaujangles I agree, it's just that this was my general situation for any platformer game with dash and jump mechanics on any console where my main worry was just timing the inputs right and now looking back this was actually more of a problem with me for the mega man x and metroid (for shinespark parts) games and it didn't help either that I only played them on phone emulators so adjusting to the controls took time
@@indranilroy4822 Understandable. If you still emulate on your phone some people don't know you can pair an xbox one and I think even switch pro controller with Bluetooth. If you have one lying around it helps a lot
@@indranilroy4822 ps4 controllers can also bluetooth to phones
I mean, that's completely fair. I didn't really have access to the internet back when I first played MMZ3 (my first Zero game) and that GBA screen is really small. Some of the jumps you're expected to make with that screen space are a bit much
Imagine being a GAME JOURNALIST who doesn’t know how to fuckin’ READ in a GAME TUTORIAL
You don’t need any special training or knowledge to become a game journo. Any moron can review games.
The problem I see with that tutorial is that it combines 2 mechanics. Jump and dash.
Simple as that tutorial may seem I can come up with a tutorial many people can't get past.
Lmao
He's a writer, not a reader.
@@AoiHeartStranger Rarely did a comment make me laugh like this. Bravo! 😂
@@LRM12o8 i stole this joke from somewhere.
Alt title: Can an AI learn to play Cuphead?
Yes, and it can play it better than Dean.
@@chrisnichols9014 LMAO
Twitch chat plays cuphead
We joke about how game journalists want the games to hold their hands the whole way through, but clearly that’s not enough. The Cuphead tutorial literally spells out everything it wants from you. These idiots just want the game to play itself.
They should convert to reviewing movies instead
@@minersheep8285 Nah, his taste in movies is probably shit 💀
@@minersheep8285 “this movie was too complicated for me. Couldn’t get past the opening sequence”
Sonic forces game of the year
It's not even being bad at gaming at this point. They're just dense.
When you can't beat the tutorial before the background music loops, you know it's basically already over.
When the journalists play so much FPS games they forget how to play platformers:
This same man played doom eternal, He barely got to the shooting, He still has trouble with platforming.
Even ppl who play FPS games know how to do that 😂
Exactly what I was going to say
You should see the same guy's doom eternal game play.
This same journalist also uploaded gameplay of doom eternal and it was the most painful thing I’ve ever sat through
The wacky music fading out JUST as he finally figures it out was extremely well-timed
As a Mega Man veteran, I introduced my 7 year old relative to Mega Man and choose MM5 as a starting point. Within a day, he learned how to beat Gravity Man and in a week of occasionally playing MM5 he started beating stages faster than I do (I wasn't trying to speedrun and played at a normal pace).
Seeing this, I really want to know what even happened there...
1K likes update: Jesus Christ, that's the biggest amount of likes I had within few days
your 7 year old relative is a fucking mega man speedrunner now???
you just can't, we will never know what's going on a typical journalist's head whenever it's about a game
your son was born with gamer genetics tho. hes too strong now
Gen Z kids are sharp
@@ashgonza92 that's not genz that's new age
I know a few gaming journos around Quebec City and Montreal.
The main issue the profession has is that you don't really start as a gamer; you start your journalism career as a writer. Then you land yourself a few reporting gigs, someone from the Tech section notices you sophomorically futzing around with a handheld, and figures "'Hey, that guy looks like a gamer! I'll ask him about writing a games review column every X days!"
So you end up with a guy who has bigger headlines to cover (mergers and acquisitions, prototypes, breakthroughs in consumer tech, etc) who *maybe* has a few hours a month to begrudgingly put on a game he might not even be interested in.
This is the end result. Dean Takahashi cannot pass Cuphead's tutorial level because he has no professional incentive to do so. He doesn't need to be informative; he just needs to produce a take that can be integrated in his site's publishing queue on time. He doesn't need to be good at the game - and doesn't even need to *care*.
Of course, the opposite end is GameSpot, where you sort of get the sense that there's some work that's been actually done, but that it's all swallowed by the need to give the tentpole releases the exact kinds of big scores that'll keep the site afloat in sponsorships. In-between, you've got a lot of TH-camrs and smaller vloggers - and this is where I'd say you find honest, workable and valuable games criticism.
Around Quebec AND Montreal? I'm hoping you mean Quebec City cuz bruh Montreal is in Quebec 💀
@@stuffwithsoph8264 Yes, I did mean Quebec City. I apologize if it wasn't clear enough, I'm an ESL speaker and had a brain fart. Just called Quebec City "Quebec" seeing as that's what we do in French.
@@McSquiddington Had no clue Quebecois only say Quebec when referencing the city, neat.
@@stuffwithsoph8264 The more you know, right?
Holy shit, precisely this. Don’t get me wrong, the gameplay here can still be questionable, but i think so many people who grew up playing games massively overestimate just how much subconscious habits and lessons get engrained into by playing games as a kid. Recently tried to get some friends who really never play video games at all into some that I thought they’d enjoy, and whilst I made a conscious effort to be as explanatory as possible, often the parts that confused them most, or had them stumble the most, were aspects I hadn’t even thought about. Things like combining actions like moving and jumping, or even where certain settings where in menus. They aren’t stupid, they just haven’t had these experiences drilled into them at a young age, and I think a lot of people in these comments completely forget that.
- This dude dashed his head into the wall MULTIPLE times assuming that it would eventually work
- If he had used more than 2 of his braincells he could get over the wall in three seconds
- There is a goddamn arrow pointing to where you should dash to get to the platform
- This dude has to be on all the drugs at once to not put the pieces together
- I’ve failed this jump before. Just once tho shhhh
- The music stopped comedically at the same time he got over the wall
- I still think about this clip every time I think I’m bad at video games. It’s been four years
- I’m surprised he finished the parry section in a shorter amount of time
- I fear for the day he escapes the tutorial only to die at the first boss
My grandfather who lives in the province, who's only used a fliphone and a TV, after a simple explanation of the controls beat not only the tutorial but AN ACTUAL BOSS
U need to wise up
My favorite part is halfway through when they discover the Y button
That starting section was infuriating to watch. The instructions are on the screen the whole damn time!
This poor dude's reaction time and lack of critical is sending me into the moon and it makes me feel so much better about myself
Lack of critical?
@@jacobyoung4068 the fact you couldn’t interpolate he meant lack of critical thinking shows you also have lack of critical
@@AD-wg8ik You got em gooood!
@@jacobyoung4068 complex thinking. He’s basically saying he’s brain dead
@@AD-wg8ik hurrrrr
You know, though I'm a gamer I don't really mind the idea of at least some game journalists not being great at games since then they can give insight for it to people who aren't so great at games. That being said, this isn't even a cognitive human being functioning here. A person should be able to recognize simple patterns and through trial and error (ideally 1/4th the time this guy took) figure out "Huh, okay this isn't working maybe I should press Y in the air instead."
Or really just basic reading ability and comprehension lol. I admit, I’m a video game novice with not very many titles under my belt, but I think even I could’ve completed this faster (I might’ve struggled a bit with the parry section though tbh).
@@peggedyourdad9560 it's all about timing the jump button, I'm sure it'd take you a handful of retries like it took some attempts for this journalist
@@tacheco2443 Oh, for sure, but at least I wouldn't have any problems with the first section lol.
@@peggedyourdad9560 yeah, that is what I was talking about
I don't think this has much to do with cognitive function here. This is just somebody who's really bad with hand-eye coordination and timing in general. My GF's mother struggled to get past the same part, and it was because she wasn't used to having to press and hold a button while pressing and holding on a stick and timing a second button press at the apex of the jump. Another friend's mother also had difficulty coordinating two joysticks for Geometry Wars. I also had Japanese foreign exchange students visit decades ago who struggled to play Xbox because they weren't used to the controller scheme.
Some people just aren't used to these control schemes or different inputs. Watching non-Smashers play Super Smash Bros. Melee also looks a lot like this when they can't do precise tech. I guess people have also forgotten how difficult Contra was considered to be back in the day when this kind of gameplay was new.
It shouldn't be humanly possible to mess up this bad
this is the same man who jumped around in circles in Doom Eternal and didnt know you could level up in Mass Effect 💀
I am flabbergasted as to how this man still has his job after 21 YEARS
I'm surprised HES IN HIS FUCKING 30s
@@MarcoAdventures he's been a gaming journalist since his MID TEENS?
@@MarcoAdventures Wait, this man isn’t a boomer? I would expect this level of ineptitude from a much older person, not from what is supposed to be a fairly young millennial.
@@peggedyourdad9560 There's these old ladies on the internet streaming themselves playing games like Skyrim. Age has nothing to do with it. This just really seems like someone who has zero interest in games and refuses to research their job but will still do the work.
@@mnArqal93 I know, I just meant that it's more common and acceptable for older individuals to have a tough time getting the hang of video games. Not, that it would be impossible for an old person to play them.
Can't believe this masterpiece/example of humanity's I.Q is already 4 years old!? Damn time sure flies when you beat many tutorials.
Well either way hope y'all are enjoying the new DLC an PLEASE let's hope no secret tutorials on the DLC or ANY at all in any future games for this poor fella...
Legend says he's still trying to get the coin in the Ms. Chalice tutorial
@@ToxiChaos - Considering how poorly he did in this tutorial, it's highly unlikely that he ever got that coin...but we'll see.
You're saying that pretty generally. I don't think there's more than 10 people (not including retarded people, blind people who play this alone and other kind of disability) who didn't thought of reading the text of tutorial after failed attempts
I will admit, that did take me and a buddy a couple minutes to figure out how to dash in the air properly. But we knew that was us being dumb, not a flaw in the game design.
Yeah, and the reporter said that too
@@lovelyyolk9066 Yep, he just came right out and said 'Nick Stoneham and his buddy are dumb'
i want this guy to beat dark souls
In his defence, he was never actually going to write a review for Cuphead, but he apparently has reviewed some games like Mass Effect, which is insane, he shouldn't be paid to review games let alone be allowed to reviw them
Also apparently when he played Mass Effect he complained that it was too hard, but he didn't know how to upgrade his skill points.
who?
@@blue33x The game journalist in this video.
@@kindwolf7700 who is the game journalist in this video...
@@blue33x Dean Takahashi.
The 1 dislike is the journalist
And four alt accounts.
@@PassTheSnails twelve*
@@kajca63 Thirteen
14
Doctor Schitkundt
16
My mother who's never played a platformer in her life could do better than that.
Journalist here. Most gaming journalists I know (admittedly I don’t know too many) are failed sports journalists
Most gaming journalists hate gaming and just want to get experience to be a real journalist
I remember this but never saw the video. I'm surprised someone that cannot follow instruction nor have a basic level of intuitive intelligence can find work. It's astounding.
Even if you couldn't read english at all it should have been obvious.. i don't have words for people like this.
This person couldn’t pass a simple gap while an actual toddler did it in about 2 seconds.
the fact me and my brother played this and we beat it when he around 7 or 8 at the time really says alot about this guy
Damn, mad respect to this guy for being a journalist who cant read
This man has 2 functioning brain cells and one of them is fighting the other.
Both of his brain cells are fighting for third place
@@n7x LMAO
This is actually the most frustrating thing I've seen in a long time.
I'd rather watch Biden try to give a speech tbh
@@dootpooter4740 I'd rather read WatchMojo's mediocre script documents
If it was just some random person doing this, it would still be frustrating to watch.
But the fact that this is a VIDEO GAME JOURNALIST oh boy
@@dootpooter4740bro really bringing politics in a comment section for a video game
Video game journalism is just a game to see who's best at bullshitting up a review. This guy failed.
The biggest irony is that this tutorial is so easy to the point that it doesn’t reflect the ACTUAL difficulty of the game at all. But he made it seem like it the tutorial was as hard as the main game.
The biggest difficulty was the problem solving and common sense lol, not sure how their reaction time is tho, they just kinda expect things to work
Five seconds in and I suddenly understand how every college math tutor feels
Whenever you think you're the absolute worst at video games, remember that this chode exists, and you'll realize that you could always be _much_ worse.
From this behaviour in a tutorial, i see only two answers : Either he is really bad at video games (learning, adapting, etc), or he is simply intoxicated (drunk, baked, others).
But i just can't accept someone being this bad after 20+ years doing this job. At one point either your brain clicks and you get better, or you just stop and accept it isn't for you.
He writes about the business side of the game industry, and rarely plays games or does reviews. The only reason he did with cuphead is the company he works for wanted to capitalize off the hype and he was the only one around to do it. He also said good things about the game.
Or he trolled everyone
It looks like if you hand the gamepad to your mom. Its obvious the guy doesnt play video games, he's just a journalist. The slow movement, the thinking after every move, the waiting times between commands shown on screen (he had to see where the button is located) proves the guy simply never plays videogames and doesnt know how a controller works.
@@CODA96 He is moving the way I did when I picked up a video game for the very first time as a child.
I play Dota 2 drunk often, if the issue was intoxication then this guy is dead already.
His hand eye coordination makes people with cerebral palsy look like they're cured
Aww fuck that’s a new one
walter jr approves
This is why very easy mode is called games journalism mode
How does this guy learn how to do things on his own when he can't complete simple tasks with instructions?
Googles the answer and/or watches a TH-cam video. This is what I do when I fix my car or other challenging things I've never done before like construction projects or building a computer after purchasing the components piece by piece. Has to work on simple things like this as well.
@@Seven_Leaf I refuse to believe this game journalist can do anything you just said, based on the footage I've just witnessed.
@@Seven_Leaf That's pretty much just you looking up instructions, though. This guy couldn't do it with the instructions right in front of him.
It really makes ya question how they made it this far in life huh.
It just hurts my brain knowing that there are normal people in this world who don't have the general thinking skills to do simple tasks.
In a game? You can't be serious. In that case if you can beat this tutorial with your eyes closed. You have no life outside at all.
@@SN57ONE your reply doesnt make sense
@@SN57ONE Dude. The guy in the video is having trouble getting over the tutorial.
Video games can be very difficult for people with lacking experience in them. My mom is a very smart women with a degree in math, but she could barely manage to play the first level in Overcooked when we got her too. She had difficulty maneuvering the controls, keeping track of herself, and understanding what she was doing on screen. It was such an unfamiliar process for her that it was difficult for to pick up, because none of the required skills came naturally to her. When you aren’t familiar with how video game mechanics work, it can be hard to work out a solution that to many players seems very simple. I watched a video once about a guy who had his wife, who had 0 video game experience, try playing a series of games, and she struggled to pick up many mechanics that many players understood intuitively. Everyone tends to be kind of dumb at certain things
@@Professor_Brie that's true, but the guy in the video has been a game journalist for 21 years.
a legend was born
A dumbass. Now he is shutting on the new cod mw game. Something to do with lack of censorship.
Well an idiot at least
If you put a face cam of the blank stare of an elderly man with dementia in the corner it would fit perfectly well.
If he is struggling with this imagine him having to beat a boss
He'll die in the map navigation
HoW dO i BeAt ThIs? ThE gAmE iS bRoKe, ThE cReAtoR dEsTrOyEd ThE sHoTtInG bUtToN
G
Go
I've never played Cuphead ever, and this genuinely has me both mad and amazed at the same time that the guy could barely make it past the tutorial
Same it's clearly easy to follow, they must have trouble with baking instructions, I mean I have trouble with those but I learn
I love how the music concludes at 1:21 when he finally completes the jump, only for it to begin playing all over again as the journalist continues his shenanigans onto the next part
It’s poetic
He took so long the music started looping
It genuinely looks like an ai learning algorithm