I suffered depression at the end of 2019/start 2020 and many people that told me to 'focus on the good stuff, don’t worry about the bad stuff'. Thats what I’d been doing for years, and it resulted in me nearly taking my life. You NEED to think about what it is that’s causing your feelings, even if it’s hard. If you ignore it then it eats you up inside. You need to be able to deal with the hard stuff and that’s a lesson I learned the hard way. Accepting that sometimes things are just shit is a positive thing, because trying to pretend everything is rosy leads to greater problems. There’s strength in acknowledging that something isn’t great, not sweeping it under the rug, and dealing with it head on. Yes, you can look for the bright side in things, but it’s fine to shrug and say something isn’t working out for you.
I am sorry you were struggling. I completely agree. If person is unable to embrace and ground themselves in uncomfortable emotions, that person is missing a lot of the guidance from self. Hope you are in a better place today! Dr. Lukin
Me too , I experienced something similar , the only thing I'd gained by only focusing on positivity was numbing my feelings , I've got to point where I had to relearn how to feel a different range of emotions again , unfortunately we live in this new age thing where we can't express other than positive emotions , it's totally fine to feel mad , sad ...etc . Good luck 🤞 .
I once had a friend yell at me and tell me that my feelings of fear and anxiety about something I was going through would make bad things happen to me. She had done it more than once. I decided it was best to distance myself. DBT has taught me that I am not my emotions and that letting myself feel them is healthy.
As I’m sitting on a street corner outside in the winter with no home, addicted to drugs, no possessions. Self help guru tells me “don’t look at your situation negatively, remember it could always be worse, you could be in a prisoner of war camp being tortured by the Vietcong! But hey at least your not in THAT position. So cheer up and be happy where ur at.”
It is best to just keep all conversations to a minimum, because these people may not be aware that they have this condition and don’t even think about pointing it out to them. As soon as people disappear maybe they’ll discover what the problem is… It’s kind of like having fair weather friends that only want to be around you when the sun is shining, but avoid you when they know you’re suffering.
I'll say it loud and proud. Nobody deserves not one window into my soul. My life. My business. Your life. Your business. Yeh I'll admit that I've been treated unfairly.*HUGE UNDERSTATEMENT* No, life is not unicorns and rainbows. I will feel my feelings in my own privacy and nobody is going to stop me. My feelings are not a youtube series or a circus act for ppl to watch and stare at like a car crash on the interstate 🖤
I had a similar situation where a so called friend went to a deprogramming course which made her more positive in life. Good for her but I did feel like what is the point, such a person be a friend who has such wisdom, be mean instead of compassionate? I share what I face with her and instead of telling me what I can do, which she does, she also starts saying that I what I am facing is cause of my internal emotions. I have worked on it and I know I am getting better unfortunately the way she expected me to change is like as though I attended the course like she did,. She took me for a short preview of a different course by the same center which was for free hoping that I would sign up for the main one which she attended previously and I have a feeling is cause if I join, she is the referral person and she would get some money so this did not feel genuine to me.
Thank you for that. I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor in Texas, & I tell my clients essentially the same thing: emotions, in & of themselves, are pretty neutral. Meaning comes from how we interpret them. And what I’m big on is just being realistic. If someone engages in a lot of self-talk that’s harmful to them (or at least not helpful), I won’t encourage them to change their self-talk to something along the lines of “I’m the best, I deserve the best, it’s other people who don’t deserve me.” Let’s keep things in reality and say, “Maybe I could be better, but I’m certainly not the worst.”
This is so helpful. Your speaking contributes to absorption of information because you're clear, not coming across as a salesperson, and you're neither boring nor dulling the message with uh, um, you see, blah blah blah. I can use this so, thank you very much.
These are the people that blow their brains out, when things hit the fan, because they’re left with what they been telling people, and I don’t care if their mother dies, they gonna feed them back their own food.
The core misunderstanding is that those with a victim mentality often misinterpret positivity as invalidation. They feel like their negative emotions aren't being acknowledged, but the truth is, they've already validated those emotions by experiencing them. The terms "invalidating" and "dismissing" have become buzzwords used to fuel this victimhood narrative. They create a false dichotomy where any attempt to offer support or a different perspective is seen as an attack on their feelings. Here's the reality: positivity isn't toxic. It's a tool that can help people move through difficult emotions, not avoid them. Feeling your negative emotions is essential, but dwelling in them indefinitely isn't healthy. What's next? After allowing yourself to feel the full spectrum of emotions, it's time to explore solutions, seek support, and find ways to move forward. Staying trapped in negativity only perpetuates suffering. The idea that being positive is toxic is a harmful misconception. It discourages people from seeking help or offering support, creating an environment where negativity thrives. We need to challenge this narrative and recognize the power of positivity in overcoming adversity. This term needs to be terminated it foster victimhood mentality. Its gaslighting and delusion that's what's going on.
I suffered depression at the end of 2019/start 2020 and many people that told me to 'focus on the good stuff, don’t worry about the bad stuff'. Thats what I’d been doing for years, and it resulted in me nearly taking my life. You NEED to think about what it is that’s causing your feelings, even if it’s hard. If you ignore it then it eats you up inside. You need to be able to deal with the hard stuff and that’s a lesson I learned the hard way.
Accepting that sometimes things are just shit is a positive thing, because trying to pretend everything is rosy leads to greater problems. There’s strength in acknowledging that something isn’t great, not sweeping it under the rug, and dealing with it head on. Yes, you can look for the bright side in things, but it’s fine to shrug and say something isn’t working out for you.
I am sorry you were struggling. I completely agree. If person is unable to embrace and ground themselves in uncomfortable emotions, that person is missing a lot of the guidance from self. Hope you are in a better place today! Dr. Lukin
Me too , I experienced something similar , the only thing I'd gained by only focusing on positivity was numbing my feelings , I've got to point where I had to relearn how to feel a different range of emotions again , unfortunately we live in this new age thing where we can't express other than positive emotions , it's totally fine to feel mad , sad ...etc .
Good luck 🤞 .
@@Keepit-nq3id It is phenomenon that I don't think is going away any time soon, but I hope we can shine a little bit more light on. Dr. Lukin
Being authentic is best. We all have a range of emotions , not negative or positive,
I’ve always thought that “good vibes only” people are also the most fragile and hostile when faced with adversity 🤔
anyone who has little experience with managing difficult emotions will unlikely be prepared for life's challenges
Yes, they are hostile.
big time
100%
agree 100%
I once had a friend yell at me and tell me that my feelings of fear and anxiety about something I was going through would make bad things happen to me. She had done it more than once. I decided it was best to distance myself. DBT has taught me that I am not my emotions and that letting myself feel them is healthy.
What do you mean by DBT?
@@Colourmebold DBT is a type of therapy. It really helped.
As I’m sitting on a street corner outside in the winter with no home, addicted to drugs, no possessions. Self help guru tells me “don’t look at your situation negatively, remember it could always be worse, you could be in a prisoner of war camp being tortured by the Vietcong! But hey at least your not in THAT position. So cheer up and be happy where ur at.”
It is best to just keep all conversations to a minimum, because these people may not be aware that they have this condition and don’t even think about pointing it out to them. As soon as people disappear maybe they’ll discover what the problem is… It’s kind of like having fair weather friends that only want to be around you when the sun is shining, but avoid you when they know you’re suffering.
I'll say it loud and proud. Nobody deserves not one window into my soul. My life. My business. Your life. Your business. Yeh I'll admit that I've been treated unfairly.*HUGE UNDERSTATEMENT*
No, life is not unicorns and rainbows.
I will feel my feelings in my own privacy and nobody is going to stop me. My feelings are not a youtube series or a circus act for ppl to watch and stare at like a car crash on the interstate 🖤
I had a similar situation where a so called friend went to a deprogramming course which made her more positive in life. Good for her but I did feel like what is the point, such a person be a friend who has such wisdom, be mean instead of compassionate? I share what I face with her and instead of telling me what I can do, which she does, she also starts saying that I what I am facing is cause of my internal emotions. I have worked on it and I know I am getting better unfortunately the way she expected me to change is like as though I attended the course like she did,. She took me for a short preview of a different course by the same center which was for free hoping that I would sign up for the main one which she attended previously and I have a feeling is cause if I join, she is the referral person and she would get some money so this did not feel genuine to me.
I mean nobody's forcing you 🤣
You make it sound like somebody has a gun to your head trying to force you to make a TH-cam channel 🤣
“You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.” ~Ayn Rand
Thank you for that. I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor in Texas, & I tell my clients essentially the same thing: emotions, in & of themselves, are pretty neutral. Meaning comes from how we interpret them. And what I’m big on is just being realistic. If someone engages in a lot of self-talk that’s harmful to them (or at least not helpful), I won’t encourage them to change their self-talk to something along the lines of “I’m the best, I deserve the best, it’s other people who don’t deserve me.” Let’s keep things in reality and say, “Maybe I could be better, but I’m certainly not the worst.”
This is so helpful. Your speaking contributes to absorption of information because you're clear, not coming across as a salesperson, and you're neither boring nor dulling the message with uh, um, you see, blah blah blah. I can use this so, thank you very much.
Thank you! Glad you liked!
Perfectly said
They see the world in black and white
Its the new cage spiritual shit
If you strip away some of the flowery and /or spiritualized language in the New Age / Self Help it's platitudes. The melodrama can be funny, though.
Very common sense and very helpful... Thank you so much!
Thank you! Dr. Lukin
Such great insight 🙏🏼
A lot of TH-camrs are like that…
Yes they are! 💯
Very well explained
Thank you.
These are the people that blow their brains out, when things hit the fan, because they’re left with what they been telling people, and I don’t care if their mother dies, they gonna feed them back their own food.
Very very true and mind blowing
Rose colored glasses
Love this
I am glad. Dr. Lukin
Well said!!
Thank you! Dr. Lukin
Explain placebo effect
The book Secret is the bane of human existence.
In toxic positivity your body could be telling you when something is wrong but your not able to listen to yourself.
Makes me 😡 at my toxic mother
The overly dramatic people in the comments though 😂 I'm dead
The core misunderstanding is that those with a victim mentality often misinterpret positivity as invalidation. They feel like their negative emotions aren't being acknowledged, but the truth is, they've already validated those emotions by experiencing them.
The terms "invalidating" and "dismissing" have become buzzwords used to fuel this victimhood narrative. They create a false dichotomy where any attempt to offer support or a different perspective is seen as an attack on their feelings.
Here's the reality: positivity isn't toxic. It's a tool that can help people move through difficult emotions, not avoid them. Feeling your negative emotions is essential, but dwelling in them indefinitely isn't healthy.
What's next? After allowing yourself to feel the full spectrum of emotions, it's time to explore solutions, seek support, and find ways to move forward. Staying trapped in negativity only perpetuates suffering.
The idea that being positive is toxic is a harmful misconception. It discourages people from seeking help or offering support, creating an environment where negativity thrives. We need to challenge this narrative and recognize the power of positivity in overcoming adversity.
This term needs to be terminated it foster victimhood mentality. Its gaslighting and delusion that's what's going on.