And even more reason to not have voluntary unprotected intercourse when your not ready for the possibility of unwanted pregnancy… surgeon general states that celibacy is 100% effective to prevent unwanted pregnancy
@@explosives101 it is well accepted that casual unprotected intercourse is dangerous on many levels, especially with STD’s surging around many part of the world, my doctor was telling me horror stories of all the STD’s he treats constantly, some of them sound horrific, sores all over your body etc. But you take your own risks. Im happy to be celibate and wait until marriage, its not a big deal to me, but i know having random or casual unprotected/weak protected intercourse is super important to some people, we all take our own risks.
@@personalfreedom2700 I think fornication is incredibly disgusting, and should be discouraged. But fornication cannot be punished by taking away early stage abortion rights. A married woman who gets raped by a stranger should NOT be forced to carry the pregnancy for 9 months.
I feel bad for your grandmother. Claiming that people who don't like or want children "don't have a self" or are "false" is ridiculous. Some people just don't like kids, it's not a pathology.
@@dmackler58indeed which I both respect and support not just you but everyone on here. I want kids but I understand the reasons of why for many childless humans. I just you all save up for retirement like senior care, have a heir to all to your wills so the state won't repossessed your assets, portfolio, and properties back into the system where they'll jack it up. I will make sure my kids won't be a nuscience to yall and be like mini well behaved adults like a prodigy kid because that will be my duty. You have my salute.
I don't hate kids, I just see them as small people and I see their true selves. So if a kid is genuinely sweet, kind, fun and creative and open to me as a person, we can connect and enjoy each others company. But I have often found that kids are loud, obnoxious, demanding, and these days especially, very spoiled. I don't find them to be nice people, just because they are children. I've seen a lot of cruelty, bullying, deceptive behaviour, lying and lot's of manipulation. People overlook all of it and say "oh but they are so cute" or "oh they are just kids and don't know any better" and I look at the kids faces when people say this, and I can tell that they knew exactly what they did and are now enjoying being let off simply for being a child. I feel the same way about elderly people. The stereotypical "sweet old lady", is a joke. There are sweet lovely people of all ages, but to generalize and say all old people are sweet, or all children are lovely and kind is just being blind to reality.
This is so true! I can't stand some kids and absolutely love others, just like adults. With kids the feeling is much stronger because they are less filtered
Indeed, I plan to have kids with th AW and then adopt 2. I will make sure that they'll behave like good moralistic and mannered mini adults like prodigy kids. Those bad acting kids are the reflection of the parent and wha the parent is like uncensored and with no laws. A mirror of them darkly enough. Also I hope yall save up for both retirement and senior care, plus find a heir to inherit all your assests, portfolios, and properties so the state won't reposses it and jack it up back in the system. I respect and support all of yalls decisions
@sagaedling195 I just had a very annoying child next to me at a hair salon. I left early without cutting my hair .His mother was next to me taking with her hairdresser and her child was next to me will the hairdresser that was trying to cut my hair was talking to the child I was so anxious about her being able to cut my hair straight wile being distracted that I left
For me, it is not just " dislike" .. I think that they are a huge responsibility and deserve love, giving and security that I cannot provide, so life without children is better for me and them
@albket1892 your statement is very wise. I am so glad I didn’t marry / become a parent until my mid-to-late 30s. I had too much C-PTSD and would not have had the capacity to give them the love, guidance, and attention they would need and deserve. It took 15 years of intensive healing of my childhood wounds to be able to venture into the world of parenting.
Same, though I won't say I cannot provide those things. Honestly, I can and I'd rather just keep them for myself. I'm very skeptical of "altruistically" motivated parents, and am not convinced that people have children out of anything but selfishness, or by accident. I imagine my supposed child asking me "why did you have me?", and I can't come up with an answer that's both selfless and honest, and that breaks my heart. So yeah, I may not like children, but I don't think I'm the dissociated person here.
Same. I'm barely able to take care of myself, let alone another human being. I've also seen a fair share of unhappy couples who decided to stick it out and continue living miserably for their kids to have both parents in the home. I don't want that added complication.
Bad ones definitely but that reflects the parent, I semi agree with both of yall. But I sort of see it as chronologically hypocritical to say, we were all annoying unless you were a legit good kid or prodigy kid. Prodigy kids act like mini adults, also I hope yall save up for senior care and find heir to inherit both assests and properties plus I support and respect both of yall decision plus opinions
@@timothyloayza6789 thanks for respecting my opinion and desicion I appreciate u ❤️ it's just that I hate babies I mean not only me but even other people
@@Svy_chii fair enough lol, I had raisemy lil bro sine in diapers due to our mom's negligence and hey those late middle in the night or early morning before sunrise of crying I understand it lol. I am saving up for kids and will stand up for those who knows and are firm on not wanting kids, respect one's free will dang it, is that so much to ask of our species lol
@@timothyloayza6789 yeah it is fair and there are some people who say "You shouldn't hate kids or babies they are cute" like tf bro grow up these people think that the world revolves always around the babies I mean I get it I do respect the opinions of people but like they need to respect our opinion also then we are fair
I understand and respect and accept yalls opinions and perceptions. But I hope yall save up for retirement and senior care and have a heir to get your properties and assets so the state won't reposses it and jacks it up back in the system. Also this is just a question not trying ro instigate nor demean you as a person nor character; wouldn't yall be chronologically hypocritical since all of us were kids unless we were born as a adult humanoid genetic experiment?
@@timothyloayza6789securing your retirement is not a good enough reason to have kids. Some people care enough about kids to know they shouldn’t bring a child into the world knowing their heart isn’t in it.
@@ellefonzarelli I know and also I'm saying as the end all be all, I am just saying from a analytical and from what history has on statistics and traditions. Also my reasons is just 1 factor so others humans won't be inconvenienced by me after death alongside them in future. I pla to have them in a more appropriate and family friendly environment
I don’t want kids because honestly, I don’t have 18+ years to waste raising another little human who may or may not grow up to be a grateful adult. Plus, once kids come along, life is pretty much over for the parents, and I am not about to go through that.
@यश कुमार the best part about seeing other people's children around is knowing you get to go home and have quiet time without them, you get to send them away, you get some reprieve - You don't get that as a parent, you're stuck with them
The things wrong with what you said are why you shouldn't have kids. You call it a waste, but there was a time in history where legacy was more of a thing. But now people think its evil to know your own ethnic background.
I keep coming back to this video & trying to write this comment but it keeps not coming out quite right, but basically not to disregard what you're saying (because I think it's true for a lot of people) but the way females are expected to like/want/have children is fucking inherently traumatizing, at least it was for me & I imagine it is for anyone else born female who was made the default free babysitter when they were too young for that responsibility. I'm not going to go into it because it's really overwhelming but basically I have PTSD around children and it's not because I have a poor relationship with my inner child or something, or maybe I do in some ways but it's not related to that. Literally kids were just left in my care when I myself was still a child, still desperately in need of adult attention & a lot of traumatizing shit ensued & I think that's a valid reason for not liking kids that's completely separate from what you're talking about here, and I think it's just different when you're born female. Everyone thinks because you have ovaries you're naturally equipped to nurture & you like it & you never want to stop and I hate it I hate it so so so so so so much.
Not sure what do you mean with "valid reason" are there other reasons that are not valid? You're very clear where your trauma comes from, it would be a good idea to work on yourself to heal, not with the purpose of liking children but yes for overcome your trauma.
Actually, my friend you do have a wounded inner child. You were a parentified child since you were literally forced to take care of children when you were still a child, that in and of itself is traumatizing. When you were traumatized as a child you have a wounded inner child. That apathy towards the wounded inner child you once were translates to external children. That's just the way it works. It's not rocket science.
I think unwanted children know they were unwanted and suffer that trauma throughout their lives. I have known two such people, both borderline/narcissists. This is why the rights to birth control (not the toxic pill!), necessary abortions and the morning after pill are vital to protect. Children should be conceived only in loving, secure relationships.
@TracyThe "new meaning to the rights of the unborn child", spot on! Those in the know who are not actually religious are fully aware what they are doing in outlawing any and all abortions. Breeding masses of traumatized and mentally ill, doomed to be deviant or criminal, while neglecting those already born. In this sense protecting the right to abortion and birth control is protecting all of us.
Excellent!! I’ll put it to you like these. My mother has 3 kids. One day, while laughing hysterically, she told us she didn’t want kids and we all had abortion stories. Meaning that we all were meant to be aborted and she told us the stories as to why we were not. None of them had to do with her wanting us. I was the oldest and only girl. So, I had to be my brother’s mother and my mother’s mother. I have no idea what it’s like to be mothered but I’ve already raised my kids, my brothers. My mother lived her life like we were not alive. But, I’m tired of having to take care of others. I want to finally have a life.
Birth control & voluntary sterilization! If people don’t want kids, why do they just keep their fertility? Why kill children you don’t want instead of just not making them?
My lack of empathy towards people including children would make being a father impossible, I'm a cold individual with little connection to my family, they're there but not there, I'm best off alone, a child in my life would soon find another place to be.
Hahaha you hit the nail on the head, Daniel. I disliked myself as a kid intensely, I couldn't wait to grow up as I had so little freedom and was judged harshly. And now I dislike children, I could be nice to them but I can't stand them for more than half an hour.
I feel the same, I didn't get to be a kid really, so seeing them be able to be silly and loud and expressive and just full blown children makes my heart ache and I tend to feel resentment :/
Damaged people are usually subconsciously jealous of kids because like this guy said kids are creative imaginative and alive and dysfunctional adults are largely dead robots the problem is us not the kids
Which I respect and support your decision besides your peaceful about it, also I hope you save up for Retirement and senior care, also find heirs to Inherit what you earned so the state doesn't reposses it and Jack's it up in the system
@@fenriz3485 I understand I am just speaking out of concern and wish you best to liveyour life fulfilled as you should that's all and besides team animalovers lol
@@Rojitos no, I want to teach them and guide with morality I'm just stating from what history and logistics have stated before and heck it's pretty much like in other countries. If the obvious "parent" who is down right evil will do the end result what you state is parasitic. Who will do the lowest of things like that and manipulating and misguided them with evil intent our o bitterness. Also I want to teach them financial literacy too so they too can build a life whether humble or grand. Also let them live there own lives and if they choose or I ask in reason for help that it will be both natural and the moralistic outcome. Pardon offend or leave out that thorough info of a bad parent whose just using kids as both abused punching bag anf retirement plan instead of a parent who built their own life responsibly instead of being reckless and foot the bill and bs on to their innocent now adult kids. I want to still find when I get old but if they help in reason and fairness which wont muddle their schedules. I just hope those who choose both wisely and understand ending their bloodline yet choose to live their solo or duo life I hope you pay that senior aide a very good salary and not shrimp him or her since they don't have to be there. Sorry if I wasn't clear with the context and may have crossed a boundary with you.
I think your problem is you're looking at this from the perspective that everyone should want and love children and how can the world make people love children again - which is wrong in so many ways. Sure, trauma might play a part in some cases but definitely not all of them. It's not a crime to hate children and people are allowed to have that opinion. I hate infants too, they're ugly, all look the same, creepy to be around (hate how they stare), and the idea that they were inside a body is revolting and I don't ever want to be pregnant/give birth. They're loud and obnoxious and the things people say about them are disturbing and creepy - ex: smelling them/saying they have a good smell - which is false and creepy to watch. Children have no sense of sanitation (or I should say the parents never taught them). No sense of personal boundaries (I don't give them consent to touch me). They say rude things and act out (although this can be blamed on bad parenting). Plus, I know I won't be a good parent and it's abuse to force someone be have children when they don't want them. I feel bad for your grandmother. She probably never wanted kids but was forced to because she was a woman. Its sad to hear.
Same here man, 0 patience for them. Plus alot children these days are just disrepectful and lack discipline. I would probably go as far to say that I geniunley hate them. I don't wish bad for them though
I think many people see how many others have children, and afterall, every one of us is also the product of birth, so people see it as normal, so they wind up pregnant and go, "well, I guess it's that time of my life now to start raising these things, as everyone does eventually," and they just go along with it not thinking about how truly horrible and soul crushing it is and without thinking that it's actually a choice
I don't like kids, in fact I have rather negative emotions towards them. Now I would never hurt or yell at a kid, but I try to avoid them to my best capabilities. They are loud, nasty, rude and demanding, little narcs. Just overall exhausting being that consume the attention and energy of those around them. That's too much for me. Along with the thought of the things that happen during pregnancy it's a hard no from me. I will never have my own, I don't think babies and kids are cute either.
@@MomoKunDaYo For those of us that don’t do well with children, don’t get on your mommy blogs and go on about how bad we hate kids and what horrible little creatures they are but man you guys sure come to our pages and bashes on the way we feel. You should be grateful for us, it’s more crap for your kids that we’re not buying
@@onelastchance648 "dont go on your mommy blogs" I'm not a parent nor do I frequent mommy blogs or any space involving children, I am however a former child, and I follow this youtuber because he speaks about child abuse and negligence which I had to endure. I don't care if someone doesn't want to have kids, but reffering to kids as burdensome, narcissistic, undeserving, really bothers me, because in all honesty, most human beings fit that bill, but the only humans deserving of critisism are full grown mature adults, not developing children. If you don't want a child, fine I understand, but to generalize kids, as if they're corrupt, misaligned, selfish, and narcissistic, is just the pot calling the kettle black.
What a load of crap. I had an absolutely amazing childhood and I don’t like kids. As a child, my parents were extremely loving and doting and I was the center of my grandfather’s existence. In fact, my childhood was the best time of my life. I hated kids though even when I was a kid. Even as a child, I got along with adults better. I always found kids loud, gross, gauche, unrefined, and generally unpleasant.
@@balletshoes No it's not normal never was, never will be, just because it's more common and encouraged in a specific dysfunctional society doesn't mean it's normal, not biologically, not evolutionary psychologically there's not just one reason but many, but it's still about psychology You mean how many childless people label children with dehumanizing derogatory names?
Children frequently demonstrate behaviors that we would never tolerate in adults - and for good reason we tolerate them in kids because kids deserve more leeway; they’re young and they don’t know any better. But it’s important to acknowledge that disliking kids is a reasonable response to have to them because even the best behaved of kids will at times be unbelievably rude, self-centered, demanding and unhygienic, and we’d also dislike any adults that showed those traits.
it may be a common response, but it's certainly not a reasonable one - to feel dislike for a child for not behaving like an adult is to not really see them as a child. it just so happens that children very much need to be seen for who they actually are, and to not be viewed through the lens of what is expected of adults. dislike for child-like behaviour in children is a surefire sign of being out of touch with one's own childhood to the point where one is unable to draw on memories and feelings to harbour more nurturing feelings toward the child when they're messy or self-centred, and to intuitively see their behaviour as healthy and age-appropriate
@@abarbadancompletely agree. I was a lifelong self-professed “child hater” from a young age but in the last few years at around 30, I started having a sneaking sense that there is something inherently aberrant about this aversion, and I completely agree with Daniel, I am certain it stems from my childhood, which formed the way I view myself and my own inner child. I am astounded at how many people are in the comments trying to defend literally hating children…
I don't think you're right entirely. I didn't have children, I dont particularly like other peoples children much. It's not so much that I didn't like MYSELF as a child, as I think I had some quite amazing points, but I didn't like my CHILDHOOD. So I wouldn't want to re-create this for someone else. A poor relationship with victimised parents leaves you feeling cold about being a parent, why bother, it's not a great situation / hard work / not worth it. I was a smart kid but I was bullied. So I don't think its about not liking yourself as much as not liking your childhood. Also, let's be honest, a lot of children are just awful narcissistic bratty little horrors. Not exactly inspirational.
You were a threat those bullies, smart and beauty not a good mix to haters. I wonder how you handled that? And if you've experienced bullying as an adult?
The point about people not even having a true self was interesting. I don't even know if it's possible to have a true self pre-grieving given most of your interests and habits are all built around keeping your traumas at bay.
I believe we all have a true Self, but through trauma we push parts of ourselves into shadow. When we identify with or give into to those shadowed parts it appears to us that Self does not exist.
@@pod9363 I believe our inner children can be frozen in trauma scenes from the past, and that we can become identified with them or the parts of us that attempt to keep them out of awareness. In my heart (and my experience) the true Self remains intact in all of us, but parts of us can (through shame and fear) feel totally alone and fully believe that Self does not exist.
Having children or even being around children requires patience that some people don’t have. I know I am one who doesn’t have it and for me, the thought of being subjected to childish nonsense isn’t appealing. I will always avoid and ignore kids and I don’t think that makes me a bad person.
@Noor-5/5ep What’s wrong with not liking children? Does everybody have to like the same things? People who don’t like children don’t usually want to harm them; we (yes, I’m one) just don’t like being around them
@@valerietaylor9615 Hey man hope you good, it's ok to not have children if you don't want it's definitely better than most parents who traumatize thier children and they have zero empathy towards anyone. I myself am not sure if i'm ever having kids but i will take the decision when i see myself finally healed or at least 80 to 90%, anyway, it's just you mentioned not liking kids in general. Like all children. Wich is kind of a problem to me because why ? What exactly is wrong with children? They are just innocent beings that need to be loved and accepted when you seem disgusted of them.
@@Noor-sl5epthey admitted they don't have enough patience (aka admitting a flaw) and you see that as having a big ego? you regret becoming a parent, don't you.
I never had children. My sister hates children. We had a terrible toxic family upbringing filled with violence, abuse, drugs and alcohol all denied and masked by prominence and charming intelligence on the side of my father. Who would ever believe such a charming man could at times be such a monster and triangulate and project and smear and demean and criticize and belittle and shame his own daughters. I think when you grow up in toxic families where the parent causes such divisiveness then children think the children are bad and learn children are bad so why would they want children. It’s really sad the whole dynamic is cloaked in denial.
I had a wonderful childhood. To this day I wish I could just go back. I've never liked kids. To the point I'd laugh if they get hurt. Ain't my problem.
@@joydanleigh7711 Totally agree. Sometimes abused children have latent, dormant reactive abuse lurking deep in their nervous system and like the CPTSD that it is, an event in the current day could trigger the buried emotions stemming from the injustice of being beaten, gaslit, shamed, humiliated etc and the fear of those unhealed emotions being launched decades later uncontrollably onto some innocent soul was too big of a risk for many to take. Given that abuse is cyclical many opted to end the cycle.
I have a very uneasy relationship with children (my nephews and niece especially) cause I envy them and what they get to have that I didn't and you're dead on, it's triggered my unmet needs and old grief from childhood. I won't trauma dump, but I will say so much of my childhood was taken from me so early, and I wasn't really allowed to be a child in a traditional sense. I tend to age regress for this reason
or maybe sometimes people may dislike children simply because they have seen them in bad moments like tantrum and therefore have developed negative associations with them.
Tantrums just show that the parents don't know how to deal with children, because there wasn't anybody in their life at that stage. I really enjoy examples of gentle parenting showing how to deal with tantrums, it works like magic. Knowing that, it's painful to see it in public, how parents do the opposite of what the child needs.
@@AphroditeAngel222 the thing is I don't like that I can't express my needs and wants same way I did when I was a kid. People need to supress their need to show feelings just because they are adults and somehow should be like robots after they turn 18.
@@NiinasJournal children don't know how to properly express themselves most of the time and require a parent to guide them. The first communication humans have when they are born is to cry. When we start to develop language it's still foggy on how to use those words to get needs met so toddlers throw tantrums, by the time your 5 children usually have an understanding (albeit limited) of how to express needs through language. Even teenagers will struggle with appropriately expressing themselves. Nobody expects you to be a robot at 18 but hopefully you had parents who allowed you to make those expression mistakes as a child and lovingly correct you when you didn't so you can mature into an emotionally intelligent adult. You shouldn't want to express yourself in a childish manner.
I’ve always been uncomfortable around and disgusted by children, and recently started making the connection between that and how I felt/feel about myself as a kid. I’m glad I found this video, thank you for making it. 🙏
It seems to me that most people like the idea of children, but hate real children. It's like a society of narcissists: they like the idea of other people, then hate the same people when they aren't the fantasy version they idealized before.
My mother didn’t want kids. We were all supposed to be aborted. My mother could careless about us. She abandon us periodically for whatever new man was in her life. I as the oldest and the only girl, I had to be my brother’s mother and my mother’s mother. I think I’m done being self sacrificing for others. I put college on the back burner. I work 2-3 jobs at a time for years, to put food on the table and keep lights on. I wasn’t able to be a teenager or a young adult I was too busy being a full-fledged mother. So, I’m not trying to do that again. No kids for me!!!!
In my experience, dreams always say something about our personality... But our personalities are complex so it may take a while to figure out what our dreams mean...and they can also mean a lot of things! Daniel
I like kids that are quiet and sweet or when they mature but most kids are gross/dirty and annoying. Even exceptionally cute kids tend to be covered in food and snot. But I can’t stand when moms don’t hide their disdain for their children, to me that’s abusive. Kids know when you can’t stand them, even when you’re the mom.
I have 4 children and I actually HATE being a parent, it's horrible, they take over your life, they ruin lives, u get no sleep, they make poor choices, u have to drop them off and pick them up, they leave toys all over the place, it's just horrible, the bed wetting, the day care, the crying .....
@@fairy12324 I lost all family support and my 3rd child is autistic, it's not their fault I love them but it's such a struggle, everyone feels sorry for me
I had an amazing childhood with a woman who genuinely adores children as a Mother. I just don't like children; I'm introverted and like quiet! Being a parent requires energy and patience that I do not have.
I don't like children, will never have them but I have little cousins that I love, but don't have any relationship with (so far). I don't consider myself as evil person, just not interested in interacting with anyone below 12. Saying that I was loved as child, had and still have loving family, parents are still together etc. I just don't like little loud annoying kids 🤷🏼♀️
As someone who doesn't want kids, from my experience my childhood has nothing to do with it I have mostly nothing but fond memories. For me it has to do with my siblings having many children (I have over 7 nephews and nieces) and the fact that they were all undisciplined.
I love how insightful your videos are. 💖✨ Love love love videos like this! It speaks to the raw authentic truth of reality. How damaging adults are to children, often so unknowingly - yet it can do immense damage and suffering to those kids long term. I don’t mind kids most of the time except I’m extremely sensitive to sounds and smells... nooooo thank you ... I’m also just extremely puzzled why anyone would bring another lamb to the slaughterhouse. I agree though there is definitely some truth to not liking kids being correlated to not loving a part of your own little inner child. I don’t think people like themselves either though to impose and bring new life here as well. Just because someone is a parent doesn’t mean that they truly love their kid. Usually they want a mini me and someone they can control, exploit, use for their own agendas such as expecting them to handle and solve the worlds problems OR take care of them in their old age. It’s absolutely bullshit... and I don’t understand why we keep it going. Life is full of immense suffering.
I worked as a server at a restaurant many years ago while in college. A mother and her two boys came in for lunch. The 5 year old yelled at me to get him a plate. That’s when I decided I didn’t like kids. 😂 But seriously kids are so disrespectful these days and this is coming from a Millennial. It’s hard to like them because of their parents for the most part.
Exactly. A child who is sweet, interested and well mannered is a delight. An ill behaved child is miserable and you're right, it's because of the parents, and those are the ones having children. Children having children.
I think that the problem is not with kids per se, but with how children are raised in certain cultures. In the United States, children are often not very well-behaved because many parents don't discipline their kids anymore. When I traveled abroad to some Asian countries (Japan, China, Taiwan), I observed how much better the children behaved and realized that I don't actually dislike kids, just the behaviors that result from terrible parenting.
Just like rude dog owners raise vicious and always barking dogs. There are too many sick people letting their unleashed vicious dogs wandering in public spaces. There should have a law making it a felony. So many people’s safety, sense of safety and even lives have been threatened, damaged and lost.
And there you show how immature you are. Dislike the damn parents. The kids are only a mirror of the parent. You either lack empathy or critical thinking to understand the truth. You put the blame on an innocent child instead of the worthless parents.
In today's society I couldn't imagine having kids. the way kids are now a days I do not approve. I took a job working with foster kids with high behavior problems just solidified the fact that I do not like children! The funny thing is that the kids I work with are in the system because their parents cant or won't deal with them anymore so they pay us to raise these little bad people!
I had an amazing childhood, and all I remember from it is overwhelming amounts of love! But I still hate children. I don't believe everything is always as deep as people want it to be! It could just be the fact that the screeching and screaming is obnoxious, they're expensive, they're needy, they need their asses wiped, some people are just honest with themselves. I think someone that has kids knowing they don't like them is just irresponsible especially with the amount of contraception in the world today! I think what we have here is someone trying to make themselves feel better about a bad situation when they were young! When somebody grows up thinking THEY were the problem, it's natural to project it back on the people that made them feel that way! I'm not trying to be rude, so I hope this isn't taken that way, but to say it's only healthy for an adult to like children is ridiculous! The person is reaching at that point!
@@mrsgolden6526 I wouldn't disagree, but what I will add is both of those things are most strongly effected by one's environment and surroundings. So what does that say about thr world we are living in today?!?! To put it lightly I believe we took a wrong turn somewhere along the line!
@@mrsgolden6526 There are many ways in which human behaviour defies biological evolution especially in 2022 - it’s very common and normal part of our world today. Culture and technology have immunised humans from many selection pressures.
@@alliasn3384 defy is not the right word for that, our biology is something we have no say over just like the laws of physics, it's how the world is programmed and when someone goes against that there is a evolutionary reason for it
“A lack of self”, c’mon. Don’t be so quick on considering people you don’t understand merely wicked. We, those not crazy about children, already get that from society every day.
You don’t need to have kids. I prefer people that don’t like kids not to breed but you are probably wicked and selfish for disliking an entire group of people based on their age and lack of life experience. Children do not have the years of experience to you do and have not learned the social skills yet to be an adult. Do you see why we come to this conclusion?
People who openly admit they dislike children are not threatened. They just have a hard time with children's behaviors. It is completely natural for childen to be less intelligent, less capable to regulate emotions, more nosey, more loud, more needy, more self-absorbed, and have more "boring" interestes compared to adults. It's not their fault, it's a matter of development. Yet, none of these completely natural characteristics would make them likeable. Think about it, would you really like a person who screams when you deny them a favor? Would you really like a person who actively seeks praise for every basic thing they do? Or would you find fascinating a game with dolls? And most of all, do you have to be emotionally traumatized for not liking any of these?.
Imdidnt like children even when I was a child. This may be the result of having older parents ( they were in their forties when they had me) and siblings who were considerably older than me. That made me intellectually precocious, so naturally I didn’t care for other kids because they seemed stupid. Some people seem to think I missed something by not having grown up in a childhood and adolescent ghetto. I think I was lucky. But then, smart people have never been popular in America.
I was a kindergarten teach for one amazing year where I was run ragged by other people's kids. I still loved them all. Sometimes more than their own parents. Funny how "grow up" is the go to insult for so many people. I'm like WTF, you use kids to insult people? Crazy.
What you describe with your grandmother and father can happen without them ever being open about or even councious of it. Some people think they like children but behave the same way as your relatives did. They do it for the cover, or by obligation. I know my parents loved me in some primal way but as far as I can remember they were not at all interested in me, my tastes, my friends, my thoughts. We became and are still becoming more and more astranged as time goes by.
It seems like a tall order to ask everyone must like kids. One must have a strong reservoir of energy, physical health and mental strength to cope with the demand of kids. Also some psychologists say children are narcissistic by nature. If it’s true, that’s one more reasonable reason some people are not fond of children. There’s nothing wrong about it.
Yeah because very small children can't feel empathy just yet. It comes later if it comes. So small children can't understand how other people feel they only understand how they themselves feel.
Kids are a waste of money, why throw your life away? If you have a kid, you are not yourself anymore. You died as a person and you will just be a parent without life and free time. No thank you
I agree whole heartedly with this video. My childhood wasn't perfect but I definitely was loved and felt nurtured and safe. I liked myself as a child then and now for the most part and look back at most childhood memories fondly. Because of this when I'm caring for kids I'm excited to see them feel the excitement, nurture, and build their own memories like I did and better. Like my parents I'm proactively protective but open minded. Children are so earnest and more powerful than they're given credit for. I feel a combination of experience, study, and one's own childhood can effect their perspective on children. Reading the comments I want to say liking kids and not wanting kids are two different things. I adore caring for children and for a long time wanted to be a mother. However, I no longer want to have kids due to the world we live in, my financial situation, and desiring to focus on my own personal growth. Its possible to like kids but not want to have your own. Bringing another consciousness into this world is a big choice and often its more moral not to. But for those already here, they deserve all the care they can get.
I'm the same. I love kids and I see myself in them and understand their vulnerability, their excitement, their curiosity, their need for love and validation. Why would I want to destroy that in any way? However, I never wanted to have them and i didn't, because I knew I had unresolved traumas that I would invariably act out on them and I didn't want that. Plus, I love my peace and quiet!
I went to the gym today and I blew up in anger, they were having a day camp, 200 kids at least were running around, I realize now I hate the noise of 200 children I can’t even think. Maybe I do need to do this inner child stuff. Maybe someday I will like children again but not today.
I just dislike children in general for the same reason I dislike dogs. They're loud and obnoxious. (and messy). I like peace and quiet around me. I don't think it has anything to do with how I was as a kid.
I posted a W.C. Fields quote the other day re dogs and babies. It got deleted, so I won’t try it again. Suffice it to say, he wasn’t a big fan of them. You and I are obviously kindred spirits. 😊
@@randomnumbers84269 I get it and I respect your decision and I hope you save up for retirement and find a heir for your stuff to inherit. But just as a question (not out of disrespect, sarcasm, or calling out) you were a kid too once? Were you all of those things before? Not all children are naturally like that, when i have kids I will make sure they won't disrupt your peace and dislike further. Thanks for your honesty
@@timothyloayza6789 I don't really care about my inheritance, I'll be dead anyways, lol. As for kids being loud and obnoxious, yeah, perhaps that was a bit unfair stereotypification. I was actually more of a shy and introverted kid and those loud obnoxious bothered me while I was a kid too.
I haven't like children since I was 5. I'm 33 now and still detest kids. I'll be kind around them, but I'll leave as soon as one comes around or near me. Walmart was the best b.c ever.
In my early 20s I had to take care of my younger brother because my parents were working all the time...now I know the last thing I'll ever do is have my own kids, pure hell...
I love my neices and nephews, and babies, but beyond that kittens and puppies are way cuter. Some kids surprise me by being adorable but, on the whole, I would rather stay away. I'm not afraid to admit that but when I have occasion to, often someone else will confide, in a whisper, that they feel the same
I don't like the child I was at all and dealt with a lot of emotional neglect. My family situation forced me to put almost every aspect of my personality on the backburner and put on the face of my parents, then later, despite being the youngest, I became a councillor for my entire family. But it caused me to instead love children more than anything, I find their innocence and lack of knowledge endearing, and I feel like I have a duty to show them love and care and protect them, because they'll turn out better that way, even if I just babysit them for like 1 day or something. One good memory can have the potential to change a child for the rest of their lives. Instill a sense hope for humanity within them.
No need for an analysis. Some women genuinely DO NOT LIKE KIDS OR BABIES. We don’t have to . I can’t stand them and have never been maternal at all. For women who want them, great (good way to care for the over populated planet). I was happy lone wolf child by the way and still am and I like me a lot too. So, get a life mate!
I have spent thousands of dollars over the years trying to verbalise this with therapists and they just did not get it. I don't even know how to thank you for this video. I feel you understand me.
Wow! Thank you Daniel for sharing your thoughts about children from and in dysfunctional families. I think this video is one of your best. I don't remember my childhood, that is why I survived my trauma. I have been working hard for a long time to know, feel who I really am. I can recall, that very early as a child I didn't like my family, I was so afraid of a woman, who supposed to be my mother. I recently heard the proper name for her, an attachment figure.
Ya can't say I agree to this at all. I had a very nurturing and loving childhood with amazing parents. I love animals but still don't like children. I loved myself then and was super talented and I love myself now and am very conscious about my growth.
I dont think thats true. I had an amazing childhood, loved by my parents. But i just cant stand kids, im not mean to them but i dont like to interact or be close to them. I see their entitled behavior, them being little shits and missbehaving and demanding stuff like little roalty... It grosses me out how mean children can be amongst themselves... Theres no such thing as "inocent angels" theyre all devils that should be disciplined.
Can't stand babies and kids at all. I'm a 64 year old female and NEVER liked them - never WANTED them. Haven't changed one inkling bit, and it has NOTHING to do with how my childhood was either because I had a wonderful childhood.
This was my Grandmother too. I spent a lot of time there but we had no relationship. I was just baby sat. Honestly, I didn't like her either🤣 What's so funny, she baby sat tons of kids and lavished all kinds of love on them. That confused me until I heard things she said about me to others. I don't really remember any hugging or anything and as a child I noticed that. She was a very angry woman about her own life.
Thats the history of millions of woman who where not allowed to have a life other than husband and children Who can be happy living as a frustrated slave all life?
If you don’t wanna have kids that’s your business. I don’t have them. And when tons of people online proclaim their hatred of children, I’m not offended; I’m terrified. In saying you hate kids, you announce that you would potentially treat them as less than human. It might be a big joke to you, but it actually comes off as a threat. I want people who flippantly say they hate kids to think about that for a second. Our world is increasingly precarious. Natural disasters and shootings strip normalcy from our lives increasingly more often - to say nothing of more normal emergencies. What if there’s a fire or a flood, and kids are around? Will you leave them behind? Will you not work with the group to survive because the group involves kids? Hell, it could be as simple as a car crash. What would you do if kids are present? Understand that for those of us who don’t hate kids, we immediately run that simulation in our minds when you say you hate children. You are announcing you are potentially untrustworthy.
Very well put, it's akin to saying I hate blacks, or I hate women but for some reason, I hate kids doesn't raise many eyebrows even though it basically means I hate humanity.
For some it's a personal choice outside of trauma and for others it's devine intervention through living that trauma. I had such childhood trauma that it shames me from seeing a little version of myself judging me as a failure.
I am not wasting my life taking care of a kid that might not even be a functional human being in society. I ain't having kids. If I want to be child free I will be child free
I don’t like children but I love my inner child. The interesting thing is that when I go back to that time in my head it’s when I felt like my mom loved me so like 9 to 12.
My grandmother never said she did not like kids but she always gave me the vibe that she did not really like kids (or me). I also had no relationship with her, but to be fair, she moved to a foreign country when I was 4, and I rarely saw her after that.
I disagree. I dislike kids because I'm disabled, in a ton of pain and kids are just annoying, rough with a ton of energy. It's not their fault - they act like kids but one accidental tap from them means I'm in a ton of pain for the day. I can play with them for a couple hours and will be there in an emergency but that's my limit. It's a reason why I won't have kids.
Fantastic! I've always loved children, and never understood how someone could dislike them. But it makes sense, the fakeness fading. you cannot be fake around children, that's why I love them
I dont want kids because I like myself too much to waste anything from my free will and possibilities I can experience in life. I spend tremendous time to understand myself and the others as many other childfree people who just dont enjoy the presence of kids. They want to have some meaningful conversation with adults and if they never or very rarely spend time with babies they obviously dont usually know how to behave around them. In fact, I think you are speaking from a place of hurt putting all those folks into one bin. As you said, your grandma was never mean to you, she didn't want to hurt you, she was just living her life - the fact she had your dad and didn't want him just shows us that back in the days it was expected from women to carry and raise kids and her generation wasn't raised to have a room for deep self-reflection, therapy etc.. But your dad decided to have kids and thats not on her, it wasnt her decision, she never ment to hurt you but she couldnt do any better. And am speaking from a place where my dad's mum was the same and died also when I was 12. I understand her even tho my mum's side of the family is very motherly and supportive. I know what love means and I want to share that with my partner - an adult. Not to waste years and kill this planet even more with producing another humans.
I'm not so sure it's always that a person dislikes themselves. A lot of people just grew up in toxic families and don't know how to relate to kids. If you barely got to have a childhood yourself, it's unlikely you know how to act with a kid who is in the midst of their childhood. A lot of people also just dislike the way the world treats kids and don't personally want kids as a result. It's not even a dislike, necessarily, but they just don't see kids as relevant to their lives. I used to think this was a new thing but I actually suspect parents have felt this for many hundreds of years and it's just something that is not talked about very often. So many people just have kids because they feel they're supposed to but thank goodness that is changing.
Its not like I hate kids because my childhood was bad. In fact, my parents are awesome. My father is sweet and loving and willingly buys me stuff and my mom is like my best friend. I feel like I have been raised correctly with a healthy childhood and healthy relationships with my parents. My reason for hating kids is that most of the kids I have encountered nowadays are just spoiled, straight up spoiled. They act smug, shout and cry whenever things are not done their way, and they also shout at their own parents. I am sure if I had done that my parents would have lectured me and made sure I never shouted at them or disrespected them again... I know it is not right to judge kids this way because again, not all kids are brats and some might be well mannered too, but this is generally how I feel about children. I think they are a waste of time and money... Its not like I hate kids, I just do not like them.
You have to be very empathetic, loving and caring to be a half decent parent. If you have issues from your past and have kids, then your`e likely to pass those issues onto them, and they will pass them on to their own kids, creating a generational curse.
Getting away, and entering into a seperate vibration of non judgment and whatever feelings you like, and all, feeling whole (self) and that natural trust, always feels great. We just need to understand simplicity.. I wish there wasnt any anxiety with well-established archetypes the world over but like the wise man said: nothing is true, everything is permitted, people are always weird.
The society has high expectations on women and expect them to give birth (at high cost of their own life) and love their kids with their own life while they never had enough love from the world themselves… never force women to have kids…
I remember my grandma didn’t like me and use to pretend like didn’t exist. She’d feed and give cookies to the other grandkids and never gave me eye contact or offered me what she offered her other grandkids. I remember wondering if she could even see me. It was very hurtful. In sixth grade she died and I couldn’t feel for a stranger. I asked if I could skip her funeral and go to school instead.
I will never do kids ,i dont like babies or kids, but i do not want to hurt others ,i just want them to stay away from me. My parents always abused me physically and emotionally and this world is shitty, i dont want to bring someone here. And I disagree I do like myself, i dont think that i will have so much time to care for myself to the fullest if i have someone to raise. Im complete just with my partner, i dont need someone else to fulfill me .
I think this might be true for some people but i really wouldnt say i have some false sense of self, definitely not fake, i dont feel threatened by kids in any way, but i just cant stand them being loud and yelling for no reason all the time, making stupid sounds. I guess the biggest reason why i dislike kids is because of how loud they are. I cant stand loud unharmonic noises. I like loud music though. When kids scream "for fun" as if they have IQ of a sea snail it really gets on my nerves so much 😂😂 i wish i could get over it and be fine like everyone else, but when i hear this in public i immidiately want to run away 😱😱
I'm leaving this comment before watching the video, I'll come back and edit this if I end up making a tit out of myself, but I often say I don't like children as a response to people asking me why I don't want children. The response I get is nearly always "that will change when you have your own". It always shocks me how flippently people say that. I mean sure let's just roll the dice on that. The real truth here is that Im not sure if I would like raising a child, I haven't been one for ages, I haven't been around a child for just as long. Any idea I have of what raising a child is fiction. And to be frank it's too great a responsibility for someone with my issues. Saying I don't like children is a quicker way to say that without upsetting parents themselves. Edit : good video Daniel and it's hard to disagree with what you said. Children are harder to "fool", or maybe more accurately I'm better at fooling adults
@Tracy it's hard to get other people to see where we are coming from isn't it? I often find they take what I say as an insult towards them... Oh well You take care Tracy :)
I'm also being pestered to have children, sometimes I wish had some, but I couldn't afford them, would have to go in debt, I also have some health issues that would make baring and birthing a child more expensive. And then, the predictor of a child's success in life is the socioeconomic status of their parents... so yeah, we also have close to no friends, we would doom that kid. I'll start telling people we can't have and that's that, it's also really difficult to adopt in my country, if you don't have the means to adopt, you shouldn't be having kids at all. Even the memory of going to school in the morning gives me tremendous anxiety as I go to work as an adult, would I subject anybody to that? NO!
I find it entirely predictable that those whose childhoods were traumatic would go on to perpetrate further trauma. The fact they are even aware of their distaste for others is a degree of integration that actually surprises me. Sounds like you would have done well to get to know those ones.
@@A5H_01 Please nurture your inner wounded child. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Listen to that inner child and let them guide you. You will hear it in your dreams and intuitions, in your gut feelings and when you feel intuitions. As you are able to better focus on that inner voice, it will come easier to follow the path meant only for you, while helping those you meet along the way.
i dont really mean it when i say i hate kids. i love kids, and i’m really good at entertaining them. i just get easily annoyed at times by them, but i never treat them rudely. they’re precious, and bringing adult attitudes to their lives isn’t healthy.
I knew since I was a child that my mom didnt like kids ( because I would hear her say it). When I would ask her about it she would say - well i like *you* . . .that never made sense. She often seemed irritated by me or just overwhelmed.
I love children. But I don't want them just because I love them. They're a mental and financial burden for life and there's no freedom from it. I love them, but I love me first.
I don't like kids, but i don't hate them. i had a great childhood, but i don't want to be responsible for them. i guess it's the responsibility or babysitting i hate.
I don’t like children either…but I realized that in my 20’s and thankfully never had children. I’m almost 60 now, and to this day I don’t regret having children. It was not meant to be in my life. I just pity the children who were born into this world, unloved and forgotten by mothers & fathers who never should have had children to begin with, like me, but never took responsibility.
I agree that it's ideal for parents to heal before having children. But using one's children to heal and grow is a whole lot better than what many, if not most of us got, which is adults breaking down and wounding the child.
I’m sorry it happened but it’s good you have awareness and are able to process the reality about your grandmother. I had aunts and uncles who never so much as sent me a birthday or graduation card, when we would on occasion see them they took no interest and didn’t even pretend to take a slight interest in asking how I was or about my school etc. I realized years ago it was my parents responsibility to speak up but they never did
My mother often said she did not like kids, only her own. And she did not like "whiners". Her mother told me she wished she had made my choice to have no kids, but she was born in 1907. I NEVER told my mother what she said. That would be cruel.
I was a king as a child. My childhood was awesome, but I had some bad experiences as a child with my younger brother. He used to lie about me and my father believed in him every time. Then my father would beat me because of him. I think I developed some trauma on it. This same younger brother is now my best friend. Now, I simply don’t like children.
More reason to never force women and girls to be parents against their will.
Every child should come into this world wanted!
And even more reason to not have voluntary unprotected intercourse when your not ready for the possibility of unwanted pregnancy… surgeon general states that celibacy is 100% effective to prevent unwanted pregnancy
@@personalfreedom2700 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@personalfreedom2700 Or they could just abort brainless fetal tissue. That works.
@@explosives101 it is well accepted that casual unprotected intercourse is dangerous on many levels, especially with STD’s surging around many part of the world, my doctor was telling me horror stories of all the STD’s he treats constantly, some of them sound horrific, sores all over your body etc. But you take your own risks. Im happy to be celibate and wait until marriage, its not a big deal to me, but i know having random or casual unprotected/weak protected intercourse is super important to some people, we all take our own risks.
@@personalfreedom2700 I think fornication is incredibly disgusting, and should be discouraged. But fornication cannot be punished by taking away early stage abortion rights. A married woman who gets raped by a stranger should NOT be forced to carry the pregnancy for 9 months.
I feel bad for your grandmother. Claiming that people who don't like or want children "don't have a self" or are "false" is ridiculous. Some people just don't like kids, it's not a pathology.
I’ve never wanted children and it angers me when people ask me to justify that. The answer is because I don’t want to and I don’t have to.
Me too!
Well said!
YES! 💯
@@dmackler58indeed which I both respect and support not just you but everyone on here. I want kids but I understand the reasons of why for many childless humans. I just you all save up for retirement like senior care, have a heir to all to your wills so the state won't repossessed your assets, portfolio, and properties back into the system where they'll jack it up. I will make sure my kids won't be a nuscience to yall and be like mini well behaved adults like a prodigy kid because that will be my duty. You have my salute.
EXACTLY. “But why?” BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO. 😩
I don't hate kids, I just see them as small people and I see their true selves. So if a kid is genuinely sweet, kind, fun and creative and open to me as a person, we can connect and enjoy each others company. But I have often found that kids are loud, obnoxious, demanding, and these days especially, very spoiled. I don't find them to be nice people, just because they are children. I've seen a lot of cruelty, bullying, deceptive behaviour, lying and lot's of manipulation. People overlook all of it and say "oh but they are so cute" or "oh they are just kids and don't know any better" and I look at the kids faces when people say this, and I can tell that they knew exactly what they did and are now enjoying being let off simply for being a child. I feel the same way about elderly people. The stereotypical "sweet old lady", is a joke. There are sweet lovely people of all ages, but to generalize and say all old people are sweet, or all children are lovely and kind is just being blind to reality.
bang on
This is so true!
I can't stand some kids and absolutely love others, just like adults. With kids the feeling is much stronger because they are less filtered
Indeed, I plan to have kids with th AW and then adopt 2. I will make sure that they'll behave like good moralistic and mannered mini adults like prodigy kids. Those bad acting kids are the reflection of the parent and wha the parent is like uncensored and with no laws. A mirror of them darkly enough. Also I hope yall save up for both retirement and senior care, plus find a heir to inherit all your assests, portfolios, and properties so the state won't reposses it and jack it up back in the system. I respect and support all of yalls decisions
Nowadays men who talk to children are considered pedophiles and the world hates that
This. Especially the manipulation and deceptive behaviors.
People with autism might hate them because they are so loud and it's painful to be around.
There’s a big difference between hating being around kids and hating kids though
@@sagaedling195 I hear you sis! I still relate to both though 🤣
@sagaedling195 I just had a very annoying child next to me at a hair salon. I left early without cutting my hair .His mother was next to me taking with her hairdresser and her child was next to me will the hairdresser that was trying to cut my hair was talking to the child I was so anxious about her being able to cut my hair straight wile being distracted that I left
For me, it is not just " dislike" .. I think that they are a huge responsibility and deserve love, giving and security that I cannot provide, so life without children is better for me and them
@albket1892 your statement is very wise. I am so glad I didn’t marry / become a parent until my mid-to-late 30s. I had too much C-PTSD and would not have had the capacity to give them the love, guidance, and attention they would need and deserve. It took 15 years of intensive healing of my childhood wounds to be able to venture into the world of parenting.
Same
Same, though I won't say I cannot provide those things. Honestly, I can and I'd rather just keep them for myself. I'm very skeptical of "altruistically" motivated parents, and am not convinced that people have children out of anything but selfishness, or by accident. I imagine my supposed child asking me "why did you have me?", and I can't come up with an answer that's both selfless and honest, and that breaks my heart. So yeah, I may not like children, but I don't think I'm the dissociated person here.
Same. I'm barely able to take care of myself, let alone another human being. I've also seen a fair share of unhappy couples who decided to stick it out and continue living miserably for their kids to have both parents in the home. I don't want that added complication.
Children don’t threaten me. It’s just they are annoying.
Agreed infinitely
Bad ones definitely but that reflects the parent, I semi agree with both of yall. But I sort of see it as chronologically hypocritical to say, we were all annoying unless you were a legit good kid or prodigy kid. Prodigy kids act like mini adults, also I hope yall save up for senior care and find heir to inherit both assests and properties plus I support and respect both of yall decision plus opinions
@@timothyloayza6789 thanks for respecting my opinion and desicion I appreciate u ❤️ it's just that I hate babies I mean not only me but even other people
@@Svy_chii fair enough lol, I had raisemy lil bro sine in diapers due to our mom's negligence and hey those late middle in the night or early morning before sunrise of crying I understand it lol. I am saving up for kids and will stand up for those who knows and are firm on not wanting kids, respect one's free will dang it, is that so much to ask of our species lol
@@timothyloayza6789 yeah it is fair and there are some people who say "You shouldn't hate kids or babies they are cute" like tf bro grow up these people think that the world revolves always around the babies I mean I get it I do respect the opinions of people but like they need to respect our opinion also then we are fair
I’ve only met one or two people in my entire lifetime, who dislike children as much as I do.
Oh I would give you a run for your money.
I understand and respect and accept yalls opinions and perceptions. But I hope yall save up for retirement and senior care and have a heir to get your properties and assets so the state won't reposses it and jacks it up back in the system. Also this is just a question not trying ro instigate nor demean you as a person nor character; wouldn't yall be chronologically hypocritical since all of us were kids unless we were born as a adult humanoid genetic experiment?
@@timothyloayza6789securing your retirement is not a good enough reason to have kids. Some people care enough about kids to know they shouldn’t bring a child into the world knowing their heart isn’t in it.
@@ellefonzarelli I know and also I'm saying as the end all be all, I am just saying from a analytical and from what history has on statistics and traditions. Also my reasons is just 1 factor so others humans won't be inconvenienced by me after death alongside them in future. I pla to have them in a more appropriate and family friendly environment
@@ellefonzarelli also i am sorry if offended you or and everyone here tha took this incorrectly which they are right to how they feel and think
I don’t want kids because honestly, I don’t have 18+ years to waste raising another little human who may or may not grow up to be a grateful adult. Plus, once kids come along, life is pretty much over for the parents, and I am not about to go through that.
@यश कुमार natural selection will always take the trash out one way or another
@यश कुमार evolutionary seen, natural selection always takes out the trashy inferior genes by not letting them be passed down
@यश कुमार the best part about seeing other people's children around is knowing you get to go home and have quiet time without them, you get to send them away, you get some reprieve - You don't get that as a parent, you're stuck with them
The things wrong with what you said are why you shouldn't have kids. You call it a waste, but there was a time in history where legacy was more of a thing. But now people think its evil to know your own ethnic background.
No wonder your parents are disappointed.
I keep coming back to this video & trying to write this comment but it keeps not coming out quite right, but basically not to disregard what you're saying (because I think it's true for a lot of people) but the way females are expected to like/want/have children is fucking inherently traumatizing, at least it was for me & I imagine it is for anyone else born female who was made the default free babysitter when they were too young for that responsibility. I'm not going to go into it because it's really overwhelming but basically I have PTSD around children and it's not because I have a poor relationship with my inner child or something, or maybe I do in some ways but it's not related to that. Literally kids were just left in my care when I myself was still a child, still desperately in need of adult attention & a lot of traumatizing shit ensued & I think that's a valid reason for not liking kids that's completely separate from what you're talking about here, and I think it's just different when you're born female. Everyone thinks because you have ovaries you're naturally equipped to nurture & you like it & you never want to stop and I hate it I hate it so so so so so so much.
Man, I feel you.
Same here.
Not sure what do you mean with "valid reason" are there other reasons that are not valid? You're very clear where your trauma comes from, it would be a good idea to work on yourself to heal, not with the purpose of liking children but yes for overcome your trauma.
Actually, my friend you do have a wounded inner child. You were a parentified child since you were literally forced to take care of children when you were still a child, that in and of itself is traumatizing. When you were traumatized as a child you have a wounded inner child. That apathy towards the wounded inner child you once were translates to external children. That's just the way it works. It's not rocket science.
Agreed. x
I think unwanted children know they were unwanted and suffer that trauma throughout their lives. I have known two such people, both borderline/narcissists. This is why the rights to birth control (not the toxic pill!), necessary abortions and the morning after pill are vital to protect. Children should be conceived only in loving, secure relationships.
@TracyThe "new meaning to the rights of the unborn child", spot on! Those in the know who are not actually religious are fully aware what they are doing in outlawing any and all abortions. Breeding masses of traumatized and mentally ill, doomed to be deviant or criminal, while neglecting those already born. In this sense protecting the right to abortion and birth control is protecting all of us.
Excellent!! I’ll put it to you like these. My mother has 3 kids. One day, while laughing hysterically, she told us she didn’t want kids and we all had abortion stories. Meaning that we all were meant to be aborted and she told us the stories as to why we were not. None of them had to do with her wanting us. I was the oldest and only girl. So, I had to be my brother’s mother and my mother’s mother. I have no idea what it’s like to be mothered but I’ve already raised my kids, my brothers. My mother lived her life like we were not alive. But, I’m tired of having to take care of others. I want to finally have a life.
Birth control & voluntary sterilization! If people don’t want kids, why do they just keep their fertility? Why kill children you don’t want instead of just not making them?
Just use birth control. Abortion isn't a contraceptive
@@NathanBB2005 there are fairly obvious 1-5% chance of birth control failure.
My lack of empathy towards people including children would make being a father impossible, I'm a cold individual with little connection to my family, they're there but not there, I'm best off alone, a child in my life would soon find another place to be.
I don't mind kids
as long as they go home with someone else.
Hahaha you hit the nail on the head, Daniel. I disliked myself as a kid intensely, I couldn't wait to grow up as I had so little freedom and was judged harshly. And now I dislike children, I could be nice to them but I can't stand them for more than half an hour.
I feel the same, I didn't get to be a kid really, so seeing them be able to be silly and loud and expressive and just full blown children makes my heart ache and I tend to feel resentment :/
Damaged people are usually subconsciously jealous of kids because like this guy said kids are creative imaginative and alive and dysfunctional adults are largely dead robots the problem is us not the kids
I hate the Goddamned little bastards. It is disgusting and anyone who says they actually want and love children are lying.
@@purplecatonbroadwayI see this and wish they would shut up.
@@leahflower9924 I am afraid ur right, which makes me dislike the little brats even more
I don’t hate kids or wish them ill thoughts. I just don’t like being around them or play with them.
I just prefer animals.. that’s it.
Which I respect and support your decision besides your peaceful about it, also I hope you save up for Retirement and senior care, also find heirs to Inherit what you earned so the state doesn't reposses it and Jack's it up in the system
@@timothyloayza6789 I’m fine thankyou.
@@fenriz3485 I understand I am just speaking out of concern and wish you best to liveyour life fulfilled as you should that's all and besides team animalovers lol
@@Rojitos no, I want to teach them and guide with morality I'm just stating from what history and logistics have stated before and heck it's pretty much like in other countries. If the obvious "parent" who is down right evil will do the end result what you state is parasitic. Who will do the lowest of things like that and manipulating and misguided them with evil intent our o bitterness. Also I want to teach them financial literacy too so they too can build a life whether humble or grand. Also let them live there own lives and if they choose or I ask in reason for help that it will be both natural and the moralistic outcome. Pardon offend or leave out that thorough info of a bad parent whose just using kids as both abused punching bag anf retirement plan instead of a parent who built their own life responsibly instead of being reckless and foot the bill and bs on to their innocent now adult kids. I want to still find when I get old but if they help in reason and fairness which wont muddle their schedules. I just hope those who choose both wisely and understand ending their bloodline yet choose to live their solo or duo life I hope you pay that senior aide a very good salary and not shrimp him or her since they don't have to be there.
Sorry if I wasn't clear with the context and may have crossed a boundary with you.
I think your problem is you're looking at this from the perspective that everyone should want and love children and how can the world make people love children again - which is wrong in so many ways.
Sure, trauma might play a part in some cases but definitely not all of them.
It's not a crime to hate children and people are allowed to have that opinion.
I hate infants too, they're ugly, all look the same, creepy to be around (hate how they stare), and the idea that they were inside a body is revolting and I don't ever want to be pregnant/give birth. They're loud and obnoxious and the things people say about them are disturbing and creepy - ex: smelling them/saying they have a good smell - which is false and creepy to watch.
Children have no sense of sanitation (or I should say the parents never taught them). No sense of personal boundaries (I don't give them consent to touch me). They say rude things and act out (although this can be blamed on bad parenting).
Plus, I know I won't be a good parent and it's abuse to force someone be have children when they don't want them.
I feel bad for your grandmother. She probably never wanted kids but was forced to because she was a woman. Its sad to hear.
Quite! x
No I seriously don’t like children because I don’t have the Patience with them
Same here man, 0 patience for them. Plus alot children these days are just disrepectful and lack discipline. I would probably go as far to say that I geniunley hate them. I don't wish bad for them though
Daniel, what if most children are unwanted? What if that's the norm? I think it's the norm.
It does seem that way, huh?
There's this cool thing called condoms.
Many people might be unplanned but not unwanted
I think many people see how many others have children, and afterall, every one of us is also the product of birth, so people see it as normal, so they wind up pregnant and go, "well, I guess it's that time of my life now to start raising these things, as everyone does eventually," and they just go along with it not thinking about how truly horrible and soul crushing it is and without thinking that it's actually a choice
@@queefersutherland396 it's not like that for everybody so people like that can only speak for themselves
I don't like kids, in fact I have rather negative emotions towards them. Now I would never hurt or yell at a kid, but I try to avoid them to my best capabilities. They are loud, nasty, rude and demanding, little narcs. Just overall exhausting being that consume the attention and energy of those around them. That's too much for me. Along with the thought of the things that happen during pregnancy it's a hard no from me. I will never have my own, I don't think babies and kids are cute either.
"demanding little narcs" calling a child a narcissist means you are most likely a narcissist
@@MomoKunDaYo For those of us that don’t do well with children, don’t get on your mommy blogs and go on about how bad we hate kids and what horrible little creatures they are but man you guys sure come to our pages and bashes on the way we feel.
You should be grateful for us, it’s more crap for your kids that we’re not buying
@@onelastchance648 "dont go on your mommy blogs" I'm not a parent nor do I frequent mommy blogs or any space involving children, I am however a former child, and I follow this youtuber because he speaks about child abuse and negligence which I had to endure. I don't care if someone doesn't want to have kids, but reffering to kids as burdensome, narcissistic, undeserving, really bothers me, because in all honesty, most human beings fit that bill, but the only humans deserving of critisism are full grown mature adults, not developing children. If you don't want a child, fine I understand, but to generalize kids, as if they're corrupt, misaligned, selfish, and narcissistic, is just the pot calling the kettle black.
What a load of crap. I had an absolutely amazing childhood and I don’t like kids. As a child, my parents were extremely loving and doting and I was the center of my grandfather’s existence. In fact, my childhood was the best time of my life. I hated kids though even when I was a kid. Even as a child, I got along with adults better. I always found kids loud, gross, gauche, unrefined, and generally unpleasant.
sounds like you were over indulged
@@rishaa682 Maybe. All I know is I had a hoot and never liked kids.
It's still not "normal" no matter how much child haters want it to be, psychologically what He says is absolutely correct
@@balletshoes evolutionary seen it is, and psychologically as well,
@@balletshoes No it's not normal never was, never will be, just because it's more common and encouraged in a specific dysfunctional society doesn't mean it's normal, not biologically, not evolutionary
psychologically there's not just one reason but many, but it's still about psychology
You mean how many childless people label children with dehumanizing derogatory names?
Children frequently demonstrate behaviors that we would never tolerate in adults - and for good reason we tolerate them in kids because kids deserve more leeway; they’re young and they don’t know any better. But it’s important to acknowledge that disliking kids is a reasonable response to have to them because even the best behaved of kids will at times be unbelievably rude, self-centered, demanding and unhygienic, and we’d also dislike any adults that showed those traits.
it may be a common response, but it's certainly not a reasonable one - to feel dislike for a child for not behaving like an adult is to not really see them as a child. it just so happens that children very much need to be seen for who they actually are, and to not be viewed through the lens of what is expected of adults. dislike for child-like behaviour in children is a surefire sign of being out of touch with one's own childhood to the point where one is unable to draw on memories and feelings to harbour more nurturing feelings toward the child when they're messy or self-centred, and to intuitively see their behaviour as healthy and age-appropriate
@@abarbadancompletely agree. I was a lifelong self-professed “child hater” from a young age but in the last few years at around 30, I started having a sneaking sense that there is something inherently aberrant about this aversion, and I completely agree with Daniel, I am certain it stems from my childhood, which formed the way I view myself and my own inner child.
I am astounded at how many people are in the comments trying to defend literally hating children…
@@XZ858XZThe normalisation of child hatred is incredibly apparent in social media platforms like Reddit.
Some of us just don't find kids [or kid culture] fascinating. You're making it more complicated than needed. I'm just not interested in children.
I don't think you're right entirely. I didn't have children, I dont particularly like other peoples children much. It's not so much that I didn't like MYSELF as a child, as I think I had some quite amazing points, but I didn't like my CHILDHOOD. So I wouldn't want to re-create this for someone else. A poor relationship with victimised parents leaves you feeling cold about being a parent, why bother, it's not a great situation / hard work / not worth it. I was a smart kid but I was bullied. So I don't think its about not liking yourself as much as not liking your childhood. Also, let's be honest, a lot of children are just awful narcissistic bratty little horrors. Not exactly inspirational.
This! I resonate a lot.
You were a threat those bullies, smart and beauty not a good mix to haters. I wonder how you handled that? And if you've experienced bullying as an adult?
The point about people not even having a true self was interesting. I don't even know if it's possible to have a true self pre-grieving given most of your interests and habits are all built around keeping your traumas at bay.
I believe we all have a true Self, but through trauma we push parts of ourselves into shadow. When we identify with or give into to those shadowed parts it appears to us that Self does not exist.
@@Larkin84 is it possible that we have a true self but it’s so frozen in stasis that it hasn’t developed any further than when we were kids?
@@pod9363 I believe our inner children can be frozen in trauma scenes from the past, and that we can become identified with them or the parts of us that attempt to keep them out of awareness. In my heart (and my experience) the true Self remains intact in all of us, but parts of us can (through shame and fear) feel totally alone and fully believe that Self does not exist.
Having children or even being around children requires patience that some people don’t have. I know I am one who doesn’t have it and for me, the thought of being subjected to childish nonsense isn’t appealing. I will always avoid and ignore kids and I don’t think that makes me a bad person.
It does seem weird not gonna lie. You seem to have a big ego that is blocking you from enjoying things
Yup, some kids are annoying afffffff. I then question how the parents are and they are worse than their raggedy kids.
@Noor-5/5ep
What’s wrong with not liking children? Does everybody have to like the same things? People who don’t like children don’t usually want to harm them; we (yes, I’m one) just don’t like being around them
@@valerietaylor9615
Hey man hope you good, it's ok to not have children if you don't want it's definitely better than most parents who traumatize thier children and they have zero empathy towards anyone. I myself am not sure if i'm ever having kids but i will take the decision when i see myself finally healed or at least 80 to 90%, anyway, it's just you mentioned not liking kids in general. Like all children. Wich is kind of a problem to me because why ? What exactly is wrong with children? They are just innocent beings that need to be loved and accepted when you seem disgusted of them.
@@Noor-sl5epthey admitted they don't have enough patience (aka admitting a flaw) and you see that as having a big ego? you regret becoming a parent, don't you.
I never had children. My sister hates children. We had a terrible toxic family upbringing filled with violence, abuse, drugs and alcohol all denied and masked by prominence and charming intelligence on the side of my father. Who would ever believe such a charming man could at times be such a monster and triangulate and project and smear and demean and criticize and belittle and shame his own daughters. I think when you grow up in toxic families where the parent causes such divisiveness then children think the children are bad and learn children are bad so why would they want children. It’s really sad the whole dynamic is cloaked in denial.
I had a wonderful childhood. To this day I wish I could just go back.
I've never liked kids. To the point I'd laugh if they get hurt. Ain't my problem.
@@j0ellyfishThats disturbing and abusive to laugh at children when they get hurt.
Yes but we shouldn't treat children the way our abusives treated us.
@@joydanleigh7711 Totally agree. Sometimes abused children have latent, dormant reactive abuse lurking deep in their nervous system and like the CPTSD that it is, an event in the current day could trigger the buried emotions stemming from the injustice of being beaten, gaslit, shamed, humiliated etc and the fear of those unhealed emotions being launched decades later uncontrollably onto some innocent soul was too big of a risk for many to take. Given that abuse is cyclical many opted to end the cycle.
@@joydanleigh7711 Not really. Gonna' be dumb, gotta' be tough.
Kids are not a blessing. They are the worst financial decision a person can make.
I have a very uneasy relationship with children (my nephews and niece especially) cause I envy them and what they get to have that I didn't and you're dead on, it's triggered my unmet needs and old grief from childhood. I won't trauma dump, but I will say so much of my childhood was taken from me so early, and I wasn't really allowed to be a child in a traditional sense. I tend to age regress for this reason
Damn, I'd advise you to stop internalizing your grief, and use that envy to provide more to your nephews and neices
or maybe sometimes people may dislike children simply because they have seen them in bad moments like tantrum and therefore have developed negative associations with them.
Tantrums just show that the parents don't know how to deal with children, because there wasn't anybody in their life at that stage. I really enjoy examples of gentle parenting showing how to deal with tantrums, it works like magic. Knowing that, it's painful to see it in public, how parents do the opposite of what the child needs.
People are triggered by children’s emotional expressions because it reminds them of all the emotions they push down and repress
I never seen me or my brother in a tantrum in public. That must be very bad parenting.
@@AphroditeAngel222 the thing is I don't like that I can't express my needs and wants same way I did when I was a kid. People need to supress their need to show feelings just because they are adults and somehow should be like robots after they turn 18.
@@NiinasJournal children don't know how to properly express themselves most of the time and require a parent to guide them. The first communication humans have when they are born is to cry. When we start to develop language it's still foggy on how to use those words to get needs met so toddlers throw tantrums, by the time your 5 children usually have an understanding (albeit limited) of how to express needs through language. Even teenagers will struggle with appropriately expressing themselves. Nobody expects you to be a robot at 18 but hopefully you had parents who allowed you to make those expression mistakes as a child and lovingly correct you when you didn't so you can mature into an emotionally intelligent adult. You shouldn't want to express yourself in a childish manner.
I’ve always been uncomfortable around and disgusted by children, and recently started making the connection between that and how I felt/feel about myself as a kid. I’m glad I found this video, thank you for making it. 🙏
It seems to me that most people like the idea of children, but hate real children. It's like a society of narcissists: they like the idea of other people, then hate the same people when they aren't the fantasy version they idealized before.
I hate them in general 🤷🏾♂️
Yup. They both suck in reality 😆. The udea of being around people is nice till you're around people.
The best comment ever!
I hate the Goddamned little bastards. It is disgusting and anyone who says they actually want and love children are lying.
My mother didn’t want kids. We were all supposed to be aborted. My mother could careless about us. She abandon us periodically for whatever new man was in her life. I as the oldest and the only girl, I had to be my brother’s mother and my mother’s mother. I think I’m done being self sacrificing for others. I put college on the back burner. I work 2-3 jobs at a time for years, to put food on the table and keep lights on. I wasn’t able to be a teenager or a young adult I was too busy being a full-fledged mother. So, I’m not trying to do that again. No kids for me!!!!
In my experience, dreams always say something about our personality... But our personalities are complex so it may take a while to figure out what our dreams mean...and they can also mean a lot of things! Daniel
@dmackler58
What did that woman‘s comment have to do with dreams? Did she even mention them?
I like kids that are quiet and sweet or when they mature but most kids are gross/dirty and annoying. Even exceptionally cute kids tend to be covered in food and snot. But I can’t stand when moms don’t hide their disdain for their children, to me that’s abusive. Kids know when you can’t stand them, even when you’re the mom.
I have 4 children and I actually HATE being a parent, it's horrible, they take over your life, they ruin lives, u get no sleep, they make poor choices, u have to drop them off and pick them up, they leave toys all over the place, it's just horrible, the bed wetting, the day care, the crying .....
Which are all of my reasons why I don't want them in the 1st place. I work with kids all the time and I'm so grateful everyday that they're not mine.
What made you go on to have another 3 children? Did you feel this way only after they were all here?x
@@fairy12324 I lost all family support and my 3rd child is autistic, it's not their fault I love them but it's such a struggle, everyone feels sorry for me
@@santanapage5044 you don’t love your children. You’re a LIAR. Shame on you
@@nenyeo6090 I do love them I just Regret having the last 2, I made a poor choice
I had an amazing childhood with a woman who genuinely adores children as a Mother. I just don't like children; I'm introverted and like quiet! Being a parent requires energy and patience that I do not have.
I don't like children, will never have them but I have little cousins that I love, but don't have any relationship with (so far). I don't consider myself as evil person, just not interested in interacting with anyone below 12. Saying that I was loved as child, had and still have loving family, parents are still together etc. I just don't like little loud annoying kids 🤷🏼♀️
As someone who doesn't want kids, from my experience my childhood has nothing to do with it I have mostly nothing but fond memories. For me it has to do with my siblings having many children (I have over 7 nephews and nieces) and the fact that they were all undisciplined.
I love how insightful your videos are. 💖✨ Love love love videos like this! It speaks to the raw authentic truth of reality. How damaging adults are to children, often so unknowingly - yet it can do immense damage and suffering to those kids long term.
I don’t mind kids most of the time except I’m extremely sensitive to sounds and smells... nooooo thank you ... I’m also just extremely puzzled why anyone would bring another lamb to the slaughterhouse.
I agree though there is definitely some truth to not liking kids being correlated to not loving a part of your own little inner child. I don’t think people like themselves either though to impose and bring new life here as well. Just because someone is a parent doesn’t mean that they truly love their kid. Usually they want a mini me and someone they can control, exploit, use for their own agendas such as expecting them to handle and solve the worlds problems OR take care of them in their old age. It’s absolutely bullshit... and I don’t understand why we keep it going. Life is full of immense suffering.
I worked as a server at a restaurant many years ago while in college. A mother and her two boys came in for lunch. The 5 year old yelled at me to get him a plate. That’s when I decided I didn’t like kids. 😂 But seriously kids are so disrespectful these days and this is coming from a Millennial. It’s hard to like them because of their parents for the most part.
If the parent would have respectfulky driven him with love, the child would not have been that way.
Exactly. A child who is sweet, interested and well mannered is a delight. An ill behaved child is miserable and you're right, it's because of the parents, and those are the ones having children. Children having children.
I think that the problem is not with kids per se, but with how children are raised in certain cultures. In the United States, children are often not very well-behaved because many parents don't discipline their kids anymore. When I traveled abroad to some Asian countries (Japan, China, Taiwan), I observed how much better the children behaved and realized that I don't actually dislike kids, just the behaviors that result from terrible parenting.
Just like rude dog owners raise vicious and always barking dogs. There are too many sick people letting their unleashed vicious dogs wandering in public spaces. There should have a law making it a felony. So many people’s safety, sense of safety and even lives have been threatened, damaged and lost.
And there you show how immature you are. Dislike the damn parents. The kids are only a mirror of the parent. You either lack empathy or critical thinking to understand the truth. You put the blame on an innocent child instead of the worthless parents.
I don't like kids because I taught for a few years. I got out of the profession but my dislike for children has remained.
In today's society I couldn't imagine having kids. the way kids are now a days I do not approve. I took a job working with foster kids with high behavior problems just solidified the fact that I do not like children! The funny thing is that the kids I work with are in the system because their parents cant or won't deal with them anymore so they pay us to raise these little bad people!
I had an awful childhood. I never wanted children. My spouse wanted a child, so I did it for them. I've had to relive my terrible childhood again.
I had an amazing childhood, and all I remember from it is overwhelming amounts of love! But I still hate children. I don't believe everything is always as deep as people want it to be! It could just be the fact that the screeching and screaming is obnoxious, they're expensive, they're needy, they need their asses wiped, some people are just honest with themselves. I think someone that has kids knowing they don't like them is just irresponsible especially with the amount of contraception in the world today! I think what we have here is someone trying to make themselves feel better about a bad situation when they were young! When somebody grows up thinking THEY were the problem, it's natural to project it back on the people that made them feel that way! I'm not trying to be rude, so I hope this isn't taken that way, but to say it's only healthy for an adult to like children is ridiculous! The person is reaching at that point!
It's still not normal, not in the evolutionary sense nor the psychological one
@@mrsgolden6526 I wouldn't disagree, but what I will add is both of those things are most strongly effected by one's environment and surroundings. So what does that say about thr world we are living in today?!?! To put it lightly I believe we took a wrong turn somewhere along the line!
@@mrsgolden6526 There are many ways in which human behaviour defies biological evolution especially in 2022 - it’s very common and normal part of our world today. Culture and technology have immunised humans from many selection pressures.
@@alliasn3384 defy is not the right word for that, our biology is something we have no say over just like the laws of physics, it's how the world is programmed and when someone goes against that there is a evolutionary reason for it
Your parents give you such a good life and your parents treat you well and this is what you grow to be you,should be ashamed of yourself
“A lack of self”, c’mon. Don’t be so quick on considering people you don’t understand merely wicked. We, those not crazy about children, already get that from society every day.
Don't try to convince NPC / slaves of society.
You don’t need to have kids. I prefer people that don’t like kids not to breed but you are probably wicked and selfish for disliking an entire group of people based on their age and lack of life experience. Children do not have the years of experience to you do and have not learned the social skills yet to be an adult. Do you see why we come to this conclusion?
@@chauncie8201 🧢
There's a difference between not wanting kids and not liking kids
Many of us find children annoying. What’s so terrible about that? People think we’re evil. Well,I have news for them: Hitler loved children. 😮
People who openly admit they dislike children are not threatened. They just have a hard time with children's behaviors. It is completely natural for childen to be less intelligent, less capable to regulate emotions, more nosey, more loud, more needy, more self-absorbed, and have more "boring" interestes compared to adults. It's not their fault, it's a matter of development. Yet, none of these completely natural characteristics would make them likeable. Think about it, would you really like a person who screams when you deny them a favor? Would you really like a person who actively seeks praise for every basic thing they do? Or would you find fascinating a game with dolls? And most of all, do you have to be emotionally traumatized for not liking any of these?.
Thank you for putting this into words! I just… don’t have the patience for the way children behave.
Imdidnt like children even when I was a child. This may be the result of having older parents ( they were in their forties when they had me) and siblings who were considerably older than me. That made me intellectually precocious, so naturally I didn’t care for other kids because they seemed stupid. Some people seem to think I missed something by not having grown up in a childhood and adolescent ghetto. I think I was lucky. But then, smart people have never been popular in America.
I was a kindergarten teach for one amazing year where I was run ragged by other people's kids. I still loved them all. Sometimes more than their own parents. Funny how "grow up" is the go to insult for so many people. I'm like WTF, you use kids to insult people? Crazy.
What you describe with your grandmother and father can happen without them ever being open about or even councious of it. Some people think they like children but behave the same way as your relatives did. They do it for the cover, or by obligation.
I know my parents loved me in some primal way but as far as I can remember they were not at all interested in me, my tastes, my friends, my thoughts. We became and are still becoming more and more astranged as time goes by.
It seems like a tall order to ask everyone must like kids. One must have a strong reservoir of energy, physical health and mental strength to cope with the demand of kids. Also some psychologists say children are narcissistic by nature. If it’s true, that’s one more reasonable reason some people are not fond of children. There’s nothing wrong about it.
Yeah because very small children can't feel empathy just yet. It comes later if it comes. So small children can't understand how other people feel they only understand how they themselves feel.
@@NiinasJournal does that include middle schoolers
@@CleenisNOThere no at that point they should be empathetic
Kids are a waste of money, why throw your life away?
If you have a kid, you are not yourself anymore.
You died as a person and you will just be a parent without life and free time.
No thank you
real. I don’t want to sacrifice my own sense of self for a kid
I agree whole heartedly with this video. My childhood wasn't perfect but I definitely was loved and felt nurtured and safe. I liked myself as a child then and now for the most part and look back at most childhood memories fondly. Because of this when I'm caring for kids I'm excited to see them feel the excitement, nurture, and build their own memories like I did and better. Like my parents I'm proactively protective but open minded. Children are so earnest and more powerful than they're given credit for. I feel a combination of experience, study, and one's own childhood can effect their perspective on children. Reading the comments I want to say liking kids and not wanting kids are two different things. I adore caring for children and for a long time wanted to be a mother. However, I no longer want to have kids due to the world we live in, my financial situation, and desiring to focus on my own personal growth. Its possible to like kids but not want to have your own. Bringing another consciousness into this world is a big choice and often its more moral not to. But for those already here, they deserve all the care they can get.
One of the only positive comments on the video. God bless you.
I'm the same. I love kids and I see myself in them and understand their vulnerability, their excitement, their curiosity, their need for love and validation. Why would I want to destroy that in any way? However, I never wanted to have them and i didn't, because I knew I had unresolved traumas that I would invariably act out on them and I didn't want that. Plus, I love my peace and quiet!
I went to the gym today and I blew up in anger, they were having a day camp, 200 kids at least were running around, I realize now I hate the noise of 200 children I can’t even think. Maybe I do need to do this inner child stuff. Maybe someday I will like children again but not today.
I just dislike children in general for the same reason I dislike dogs. They're loud and obnoxious. (and messy). I like peace and quiet around me. I don't think it has anything to do with how I was as a kid.
I posted a W.C. Fields quote the other day re dogs and babies. It got deleted, so I won’t try it again. Suffice it to say, he wasn’t a big fan of them. You and I are obviously kindred spirits. 😊
@@randomnumbers84269 I get it and I respect your decision and I hope you save up for retirement and find a heir for your stuff to inherit. But just as a question (not out of disrespect, sarcasm, or calling out) you were a kid too once? Were you all of those things before? Not all children are naturally like that, when i have kids I will make sure they won't disrupt your peace and dislike further. Thanks for your honesty
@@timothyloayza6789 I don't really care about my inheritance, I'll be dead anyways, lol. As for kids being loud and obnoxious, yeah, perhaps that was a bit unfair stereotypification. I was actually more of a shy and introverted kid and those loud obnoxious bothered me while I was a kid too.
I haven't like children since I was 5. I'm 33 now and still detest kids.
I'll be kind around them, but I'll leave as soon as one comes around or near me.
Walmart was the best b.c ever.
In my early 20s I had to take care of my younger brother because my parents were working all the time...now I know the last thing I'll ever do is have my own kids, pure hell...
I love my neices and nephews, and babies, but beyond that kittens and puppies are way cuter. Some kids surprise me by being adorable but, on the whole, I would rather stay away. I'm not afraid to admit that but when I have occasion to, often someone else will confide, in a whisper, that they feel the same
I don't like the child I was at all and dealt with a lot of emotional neglect. My family situation forced me to put almost every aspect of my personality on the backburner and put on the face of my parents, then later, despite being the youngest, I became a councillor for my entire family.
But it caused me to instead love children more than anything, I find their innocence and lack of knowledge endearing, and I feel like I have a duty to show them love and care and protect them, because they'll turn out better that way, even if I just babysit them for like 1 day or something. One good memory can have the potential to change a child for the rest of their lives. Instill a sense hope for humanity within them.
I am so fortunate to having a loving set of grandmother's and grandfather's.
You really are, a lot of us don't have that at all.
No need for an analysis. Some women genuinely DO NOT LIKE KIDS OR BABIES. We don’t have to . I can’t stand them and have never been maternal at all. For women who want them, great (good way to care for the over populated planet). I was happy lone wolf child by the way and still am and I like me a lot too. So, get a life mate!
not wanting kids is one thing, discouraging other people from wanting kids is another thing.
I have spent thousands of dollars over the years trying to verbalise this with therapists and they just did not get it. I don't even know how to thank you for this video. I feel you understand me.
I feel he understands me too. The "self" thing hit hard.
Probably because they're breeders.
Same... No one can understand the word I don't like kids or children I didn't mean I hate them ... they just think I hate em😞
Wow! Thank you Daniel for sharing your thoughts about children from and in dysfunctional families. I think this video is one of your best. I don't remember my childhood, that is why I survived my trauma. I have been working hard for a long time to know, feel who I really am. I can recall, that very early as a child I didn't like my family, I was so afraid of a woman, who supposed to be my mother. I recently heard the proper name for her, an attachment figure.
Ya can't say I agree to this at all. I had a very nurturing and loving childhood with amazing parents. I love animals but still don't like children. I loved myself then and was super talented and I love myself now and am very conscious about my growth.
My childhood was great, but when I see kids I wince. I hate how noisy and obnoxious are they
I dont think thats true. I had an amazing childhood, loved by my parents. But i just cant stand kids, im not mean to them but i dont like to interact or be close to them. I see their entitled behavior, them being little shits and missbehaving and demanding stuff like little roalty... It grosses me out how mean children can be amongst themselves... Theres no such thing as "inocent angels" theyre all devils that should be disciplined.
They are developing and learning...
Can't stand babies and kids at all. I'm a 64 year old female and NEVER liked them - never WANTED them. Haven't changed one inkling bit, and it has NOTHING to do with how my childhood was either because I had a wonderful childhood.
This was my Grandmother too. I spent a lot of time there but we had no relationship. I was just baby sat. Honestly, I didn't like her either🤣 What's so funny, she baby sat tons of kids and lavished all kinds of love on them. That confused me until I heard things she said about me to others. I don't really remember any hugging or anything and as a child I noticed that. She was a very angry woman about her own life.
Agreed. I felt grandmother liked the boys, not the girls. I never loved her, or much.
Thats the history of millions of woman who where not allowed to have a life other than husband and children
Who can be happy living as a frustrated slave all life?
I love kids and because of that, I know I don’t like them enough to have them.
Children are evil
If you don’t wanna have kids that’s your business. I don’t have them. And when tons of people online proclaim their hatred of children, I’m not offended; I’m terrified.
In saying you hate kids, you announce that you would potentially treat them as less than human. It might be a big joke to you, but it actually comes off as a threat. I want people who flippantly say they hate kids to think about that for a second. Our world is increasingly precarious. Natural disasters and shootings strip normalcy from our lives increasingly more often - to say nothing of more normal emergencies. What if there’s a fire or a flood, and kids are around? Will you leave them behind? Will you not work with the group to survive because the group involves kids? Hell, it could be as simple as a car crash. What would you do if kids are present?
Understand that for those of us who don’t hate kids, we immediately run that simulation in our minds when you say you hate children. You are announcing you are potentially untrustworthy.
Very well put, it's akin to saying I hate blacks, or I hate women but for some reason, I hate kids doesn't raise many eyebrows even though it basically means I hate humanity.
For some it's a personal choice outside of trauma and for others it's devine intervention through living that trauma. I had such childhood trauma that it shames me from seeing a little version of myself judging me as a failure.
I am not wasting my life taking care of a kid that might not even be a functional human being in society.
I ain't having kids.
If I want to be child free I will be child free
I don’t like children but I love my inner child. The interesting thing is that when I go back to that time in my head it’s when I felt like my mom loved me so like 9 to 12.
My grandmother never said she did not like kids but she always gave me the vibe that she did not really like kids (or me). I also had no relationship with her, but to be fair, she moved to a foreign country when I was 4, and I rarely saw her after that.
I disagree.
I dislike kids because I'm disabled, in a ton of pain and kids are just annoying, rough with a ton of energy. It's not their fault - they act like kids but one accidental tap from them means I'm in a ton of pain for the day. I can play with them for a couple hours and will be there in an emergency but that's my limit. It's a reason why I won't have kids.
Fantastic! I've always loved children, and never understood how someone could dislike them.
But it makes sense, the fakeness fading.
you cannot be fake around children, that's why I love them
I dont want kids because I like myself too much to waste anything from my free will and possibilities I can experience in life. I spend tremendous time to understand myself and the others as many other childfree people who just dont enjoy the presence of kids. They want to have some meaningful conversation with adults and if they never or very rarely spend time with babies they obviously dont usually know how to behave around them. In fact, I think you are speaking from a place of hurt putting all those folks into one bin. As you said, your grandma was never mean to you, she didn't want to hurt you, she was just living her life - the fact she had your dad and didn't want him just shows us that back in the days it was expected from women to carry and raise kids and her generation wasn't raised to have a room for deep self-reflection, therapy etc.. But your dad decided to have kids and thats not on her, it wasnt her decision, she never ment to hurt you but she couldnt do any better. And am speaking from a place where my dad's mum was the same and died also when I was 12. I understand her even tho my mum's side of the family is very motherly and supportive. I know what love means and I want to share that with my partner - an adult. Not to waste years and kill this planet even more with producing another humans.
Daniel you just described several generations of my family. So much truth and depth in this talk. Thanks.
A commitment I never wanted. Never ever got pregnant. I have some awesome animals and that makes me happy!
I'm proudly childfree. And I do not like children much at all. They're self centered annoying and entitled.
My childhood was pretty good.
I'm not so sure it's always that a person dislikes themselves. A lot of people just grew up in toxic families and don't know how to relate to kids. If you barely got to have a childhood yourself, it's unlikely you know how to act with a kid who is in the midst of their childhood. A lot of people also just dislike the way the world treats kids and don't personally want kids as a result. It's not even a dislike, necessarily, but they just don't see kids as relevant to their lives. I used to think this was a new thing but I actually suspect parents have felt this for many hundreds of years and it's just something that is not talked about very often. So many people just have kids because they feel they're supposed to but thank goodness that is changing.
Its not like I hate kids because my childhood was bad. In fact, my parents are awesome. My father is sweet and loving and willingly buys me stuff and my mom is like my best friend. I feel like I have been raised correctly with a healthy childhood and healthy relationships with my parents. My reason for hating kids is that most of the kids I have encountered nowadays are just spoiled, straight up spoiled. They act smug, shout and cry whenever things are not done their way, and they also shout at their own parents. I am sure if I had done that my parents would have lectured me and made sure I never shouted at them or disrespected them again... I know it is not right to judge kids this way because again, not all kids are brats and some might be well mannered too, but this is generally how I feel about children. I think they are a waste of time and money... Its not like I hate kids, I just do not like them.
I hate them. Gotta take it a step further.
@@Sealust50bro u hate ur self then before remember ur memories💀💀
You have to be very empathetic, loving and caring to be a half decent parent. If you have issues from your past and have kids, then your`e likely to pass those issues onto them, and they will pass them on to their own kids, creating a generational curse.
Getting away, and entering into a seperate vibration of non judgment and whatever feelings you like, and all, feeling whole (self) and that natural trust, always feels great. We just need to understand simplicity.. I wish there wasnt any anxiety with well-established archetypes the world over but like the wise man said: nothing is true, everything is permitted, people are always weird.
Loved this comment
The society has high expectations on women and expect them to give birth (at high cost of their own life) and love their kids with their own life while they never had enough love from the world themselves… never force women to have kids…
I remember my grandma didn’t like me and use to pretend like didn’t exist. She’d feed and give cookies to the other grandkids and never gave me eye contact or offered me what she offered her other grandkids. I remember wondering if she could even see me. It was very hurtful. In sixth grade she died and I couldn’t feel for a stranger. I asked if I could skip her funeral and go to school instead.
Sir, it's more complicated than that. Apparently you rarely spend time in restaurants on the weekends.
nothing worse than a family with 4 kids walking in just after the lunch time rush has ended and you want to take a breather.
I will never do kids ,i dont like babies or kids, but i do not want to hurt others ,i just want them to stay away from me. My parents always abused me physically and emotionally and this world is shitty, i dont want to bring someone here. And I disagree I do like myself, i dont think that i will have so much time to care for myself to the fullest if i have someone to raise. Im complete just with my partner, i dont need someone else to fulfill me .
Witch, indeed.
I think this might be true for some people but i really wouldnt say i have some false sense of self, definitely not fake, i dont feel threatened by kids in any way, but i just cant stand them being loud and yelling for no reason all the time, making stupid sounds. I guess the biggest reason why i dislike kids is because of how loud they are. I cant stand loud unharmonic noises. I like loud music though. When kids scream "for fun" as if they have IQ of a sea snail it really gets on my nerves so much 😂😂 i wish i could get over it and be fine like everyone else, but when i hear this in public i immidiately want to run away 😱😱
I'm leaving this comment before watching the video, I'll come back and edit this if I end up making a tit out of myself, but I often say I don't like children as a response to people asking me why I don't want children. The response I get is nearly always "that will change when you have your own". It always shocks me how flippently people say that. I mean sure let's just roll the dice on that.
The real truth here is that Im not sure if I would like raising a child, I haven't been one for ages, I haven't been around a child for just as long. Any idea I have of what raising a child is fiction. And to be frank it's too great a responsibility for someone with my issues. Saying I don't like children is a quicker way to say that without upsetting parents themselves.
Edit : good video Daniel and it's hard to disagree with what you said. Children are harder to "fool", or maybe more accurately I'm better at fooling adults
@Tracy it's hard to get other people to see where we are coming from isn't it? I often find they take what I say as an insult towards them... Oh well
You take care Tracy :)
I'm also being pestered to have children, sometimes I wish had some, but I couldn't afford them, would have to go in debt, I also have some health issues that would make baring and birthing a child more expensive. And then, the predictor of a child's success in life is the socioeconomic status of their parents... so yeah, we also have close to no friends, we would doom that kid. I'll start telling people we can't have and that's that, it's also really difficult to adopt in my country, if you don't have the means to adopt, you shouldn't be having kids at all. Even the memory of going to school in the morning gives me tremendous anxiety as I go to work as an adult, would I subject anybody to that? NO!
@@masked321321bro u hate ur self when ur kid💀💀💀💀
I find it entirely predictable that those whose childhoods were traumatic would go on to perpetrate further trauma. The fact they are even aware of their distaste for others is a degree of integration that actually surprises me. Sounds like you would have done well to get to know those ones.
Can confirm had an awful childhood, would never want to repeat that cycle.
@@A5H_01 Please nurture your inner wounded child. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Listen to that inner child and let them guide you. You will hear it in your dreams and intuitions, in your gut feelings and when you feel intuitions. As you are able to better focus on that inner voice, it will come easier to follow the path meant only for you, while helping those you meet along the way.
@@frankstared My dad was a pedo
i dont really mean it when i say i hate kids. i love kids, and i’m really good at entertaining them. i just get easily annoyed at times by them, but i never treat them rudely. they’re precious, and bringing adult attitudes to their lives isn’t healthy.
I knew since I was a child that my mom didnt like kids ( because I would hear her say it). When I would ask her about it she would say - well i like *you* . . .that never made sense. She often seemed irritated by me or just overwhelmed.
I love children. But I don't want them just because I love them. They're a mental and financial burden for life and there's no freedom from it. I love them, but I love me first.
I don't like kids, but i don't hate them. i had a great childhood, but i don't want to be responsible for them. i guess it's the responsibility or babysitting i hate.
I don’t like children either…but I realized that in my 20’s and thankfully never had children. I’m almost 60 now, and to this day I don’t regret having children. It was not meant to be in my life. I just pity the children who were born into this world, unloved and forgotten by mothers & fathers who never should have had children to begin with, like me, but never took responsibility.
I agree that it's ideal for parents to heal before having children. But using one's children to heal and grow is a whole lot better than what many, if not most of us got, which is adults breaking down and wounding the child.
I’m sorry it happened but it’s good you have awareness and are able to process the reality about your grandmother. I had aunts and uncles who never so much as sent me a birthday or graduation card, when we would on occasion see them they took no interest and didn’t even pretend to take a slight interest in asking how I was or about my school etc. I realized years ago it was my parents responsibility to speak up but they never did
My mother often said she did not like kids, only her own. And she did not like "whiners". Her mother told me she wished she had made my choice to have no kids, but she was born in 1907. I NEVER told my mother what she said. That would be cruel.
The weird thing is that I hate myself and yet I kinda want to be a therapist for kids when I get older- 💀💀
cure yourself first before helping others otherwise it’s not gonna work
I was a king as a child. My childhood was awesome, but I had some bad experiences as a child with my younger brother. He used to lie about me and my father believed in him every time. Then my father would beat me because of him. I think I developed some trauma on it. This same younger brother is now my best friend. Now, I simply don’t like children.