Mark if this was a heart condition you were suffering from, you'd Gladly take medication. So why is there Such an issue with taking Antidepressants! Please Don't feel a failure. If we aren't well in our heads then we aren't well overall. I know I couldn't cope without my antidepressants. Please do go to all your meetings etc. Your Health is your Wealth!!
Absolutely right, depression is NOT a life choice, your brain is sick, you cannot see it, there is no x-ray or scan. It's invisible and a silent killer. I see it in your eyes I recognise it.
Do you know something , you have taken control of your mental health , you decided you don't want or indeed need to struggle anymore . Why is it we all feel like frauds when we go to the Dr's. My beautiful Nephew took his own life aged 18 in 2014 . Noone knew he was depressed not his Mum Dad or Sister. I just wished he had told us and we would have taken him to the Dr's for the help he needed and maybe he would be alive today and be thinking very differently . So take your tablets Mark and be proud . Love to you and the fam ❤❤❤❤❤
@@RockDove5212 Thankyou so much for your lovely words. Yes it's hard , but lets not forget this life is also beautiful , so lets look for the beauty and be the beauty also x😘😘🌸🌸🌸
excellent point Gail, taking control of your mental health is such a positive thing, you control it rather than feeling like it in fact controls YOU. Well said mate.....cheers
I've spent many a happy hour just staring at the wall not feeling anything much at all. Sometimes it's easier just to accept who you are and love every part of yourself!
I feel so privileged to have found you and your lovely family on TH-cam. You address very tough life issues in such an articulate thoughtful way. I have taken citalopram for many years.. I consider it to be like a diet supplement replacing something my body hasn't enough of. That said I was so fearful of that first pill and what it would do to me. As the weeks went on it was like a weight being lifted. I was doing things I hadn't even realised I'd stopped doing, feeling more confident and more me than I had for years. I hope you have success with your new medication. There will be something out there for you Mark. Keep trying. Keep talking and remember self care is the most important thing. Sending love to you all ♥️
Mark you explain it so eloquently... you have helped me immensely with my own black cloud(which I've suffered for 26years). stay strong ....you are definitely not a loser!!! Xx
There are no words strong enough to make you understand how much your words and videos mean to me, I’ve not yet found something that works for me and when you was talking about the nothingness you felt in the car I completely get it, I always say it paralyses me but no one understands what I mean. Thank you for your strength to post about your mental health, I can’t even talk to my family about it for the shame I would feel if they really knew what went on inside my head and I wouldn’t want my single Dad to feel as if he had failed. Thank you for sharing your journey Mark, your one incredible guy ✌🏼
I think it's rare to recover completely from depression unless the depression is caused by a specific life event that you can sort. I view it as part of my life and I've learned ways to cope, one being taking anti depressants which should never be viewed as a negative thing. They just give you a lift out of the pit so you can start dealing with it. I've never felt they dull my feelings. I've always felt the opposite. They let me be me. Most depressives are so much more than their illness. They are usually funny, creative, empathetic and loving people. . All of which you are. Also talking to a counsellor or psychologist is extremely helpful. I hope this is the first step for you to feel free of the depressive thoughts which can take up your whole waking life :). Love your vlogs
I know it’s a well worn comparison but it’s so true that if you were a diabetic you wouldn’t feel you’d failed when taking insulin. You’re taking care of yourself - that’s an achievement, something to be proud of. Well done you and thank you for sharing - it genuinely makes a difference to more people than you can know. Xx
I understand what you mean about feeling like a failure for taking the anti depressants.. but my Father told me something a few years ago that stuck with me.. he said Son you can get away from everything but yourself! And it just hit me that I am not a robot and I need help because I am human. I truly hope things improve for you Mark, i really enjoy you and your families videos.
Aww Mark, you are amazing and reaching out for help is always hard and humbling. You are very loved as a Husband, Father and Son and us Subs totally adore you and love you and your family. You will get no judgment from this sub btw, just respect for being soo honest in your sharing. You have to do what your gut tells you, I hope you don’t beat yourself up about this morning. You have done a good thing and you have shared this too. Stay strong and know your family and us Subs are rooting for you to feel like the demons are lifting xxx big respect x
Mark. That took courage to talk from the heart in the way you just have. You will have helped so many, thank you for your goodness and honesty. We are all the same in front of our doctor, we never tell the complete truth, then wish we had . I hope the new medication helps . Love to you and your fabulous family. You are inspiring and I wish you the very best of the best. Xxxx😘
I was on citalopram for many years and found they stopped working. I've been on sertraline for 2 months now and feel so much better. My problem is anxiety but it was stopping me from enjoying life, luckily it didn't stop me from working which is very important for me Good luck Mark! We are all rooting for you
Don’t feel a failure or a loser and don’t be embarrassed telling your doctor how you feel because who is to say your doctor hasn’t felt exactly like you, look at the comments you are not alone, there are millions that feel exactly like you do, and I tell you what can make things feel worse, tiredness...if you are continually overthinking and your mind racing and anxious and panic feelings you don’t sleep well and lack of sleep can make your symptoms worse. Find something you enjoy doing, anything and relax...you are fabulous and you need to start telling yourself that, you are helping so many people on here, let us help you, we all love you and your family xx
All i want to do is hug you mark, so i'll send you a great big[[ hug]] 🤗💖 What i have seen after watching you and your lovely family, is a overachiever at work, as a dad, as a husband, a son and as a kind funny thoughtful human being, thanks for being you and for sharing your heart. love Sam xxxx
Being vulnerable is not a weakness but a supper strength. I am glad that you sought help and shared some of your symptoms and feelings with the doctor. One thing worth doing is looking back at your vlogs, sometimes I think we forget the personal journey missing the positives of what we have achieved. Having watched some of your vlogs last winter I think you have come along way. It’s a journey not a race x
You are very articulate Mark. You just described that “feeling nothing” perfectly for me. I had that feeling for a long time. It took me another 6 months to go to the Drs (and then I went with a sore throat 🙄) to find out I was “depressed. I had /have never heard anybody describe that feeling before and when you did I felt like I’d been hit on the head with a big bell! I don’t think people realise that depression can be “not feeling or even caring” rather than an overwhelming sadness. I did a parachute jump in the middle of it all and I literally felt nothing, no excitement, no fear. I could have been plummeting to the ground with no parachute and couldn’t have cared less. So....... thank you. Even in the depths of your illness you are sharing to help others. I just hope that we can all help you too by listening. X
There's a real sadness in your eyes today Mark, take care your family also has had a crappy week which won't have helped at all, hugs to you all you are a wonderful dad and husband and deserve to feel happy xx
You sound like me...love the dark have my blinds closed all the time. I put this down to atmospheric things that are happening. You are definitely not a loser at all! You have to do what you have to do. Balance is everything. I would stay of the diet stuff it's lab created additive actually dnt help anyone loose weight. Might be hormones Mark it's not just woman with have imbalances. Life is a frigging donkey ride...ups and downs. Bless you Mark take care...this is normal Mark you are the same as every other human cos we often don't cope with emotional states the fact your so candid about it is really open and very honest. guys watching are inspired by your openness and transparency it's so so important to talk.
Mark, thank you for letting us be with you through this journey. You are helping me so much and making me think it’s ok to be feel how I feel sometimes. Thank you, bless you and keep on going.
I feel sad watching this, it just goes to show no matter how happy someone looks or acts, you never know how they are feeling deep down, mark you will get through this stage in your life! You have an amazing wife, supportive mum and 2 lovely kids xx please look after yourself
Totally understand were you are coming from. I always end up in tears while trying to explain how I feel and I hate that. I am so glad you have been for help. Hope your new meds work asap.
I Can so see in your eyes that your struggling a bit Mark, there’s no shame because truly it happens to most of us. It seems to me those that are particularly kind, thoughtful and caring of others are the most susceptible to depression and you Mark are that loving, warm, compassionate man. Depression is a disease and a hidden devil, mental health issues runs in my family, I too have real bouts of turmoil with it, but just seeing your lovely Dr and trying some new meds is a really positive step in your self care. Sure that sparkle will soon be back Mark, you can’t do anymore than your doing, so cut yourself some slack and give yourself some tlc and remember how many people including us subs who are rooting for you. 🌈🕊😎
Love you mark, your amazing, not a failure at all. You talking openly and honestly about your struggle helps me gain an insight into my fiancee who has the same struggles. Thank you xxx
Great to see you seeking help Mark . We often forget Men's Mental Health .. & just how critical it can get if Men in particular do not speak out or ask for guidance. I wished my Son had spoken out , 15 weeks without him & it does not get any easier . I try & think at least he isnt battling his demons anymore but he could of been helped if he had shared. So thank you ...if you encourage even 1 person to speak out then WOW ..full respect to you lovely Man xx
I’ve been on medication for my anxiety for 18 months now.... after suffering for years I finally feel calmer and more able to “cope”. I felt like a failure too at the beginning but I guess it’s better to be proactive In bettering your own life and sometimes admitting defeat helps u win..... I reduced the dose tho which stopped me feeling so “knocked off” Thanks again mark .
I'm proud of you Mark. There is no shame in asking for help, we all need help sometimes and you have taken those first steps, so well done. I have been on a myriad of Antidepressants over the last few years, some didn't suit me, some had no effect but eventually a combo of two different AD's were prescribed. I still get times when i feel very low, but i've gone through so much in recent years it's a miracle i'm still here!! My husband Ray is my saviour, he is the reason i carry on. Give the AD's a chance to do their thing and see if they make a difference. Ray has been on Citalopram for about 5 years now and he is so glad he asked for help and he wants me to tell you he felt like you, he couldn't understand why he couldn't cope, now he copes with life much better. You really are not alone. xxx
Your are so authentic and articulate Mark. This was a dr’s appointment and doctors don’t expect you to be totally eloquent and “perform” , and I expect you are far more able to explain yourself than most. I am sure you are giving courage to so many to open up to their feelings and take the big step of seeing their GP for help. Your open and candid vlogs have helped me to understand so much about mental health and just in the course of day to day interaction with people has helped me to think “why are people behaving in the way they do” rather than just thinking they are off hand or rude or unsociable. I hope your new medication helps. If it is any comfort at all, I take a range of medication following a horse falling on me in 1994 and every GP visit I go in all upbeat and saying everything is fine when actually I am in constant pain and dealing with the daily frustrations this brings and my inability to do all the physical things I want to. I then try and be normal overdo it physically and end up back in bed and so the cycle continues. I feel a huge failure when I have to admit the pain meds aren’t working or their is something else I have had to add to my list of “can’t do’s” . I take so much from both you and Nadia and also your gorgeous girls. I have two of my own girls and a stepdaughter, and you have helped me to realise that my inadequacies physically do affect them too. They were born after my accident, are now 19 and 21, and my stepdaughter is nearly 30. They have never known me to be any different and I am pretty hands on but the question keeps nagging at me, were we selfish desperately wanting them knowing I wasn’t physically completely well? Xx
Well done for taking this step. Maybe next time you should record one of these and play it to your Dr! And make sure you sort those CBT and AA meetings, now you've said it on here you'll have thousands of us to nag you till you do. Sending lots of love, hope these new antidepressants help x
Mark, you are such an incredible soul. Just putting your camera on saying things like this which takes a lot of bloody strength which actually feels unfortunate to say as it’s almost like it’s taken as something abnormal which it isn’t. You’re going to help so many lives. People may be able to show this to someone and say they couldn’t find the words but this is exactly how they’re also feeling. Someone might see this and feel less alone and take that step to the doctors. Not a failure of yourself in fact turn that around you’re saying fuck this dark shadow I’m gonna feel better. Your family is incredible. I love this channel. This is so important to be out there. Thank you. 🖤
I have had the feeling of failure every single time I've had to go back on or raise the dose of my antidepressants. I THINK THAT'S my programming. It's what I've been taught by others views of their own abilities and mental health. And yes what you said made sense. The feeling of losing a battle is an indicator of the need for change. Just finished my first guided self health session. Lots of love.
So beautifully eliquent. You made perfect sense to someone that has and still struggles with depression . Doing the normal things like self care and exercise can only help so much , if you're a bit down. Clinical depression is a different animal and needs to be dealt with on another level. On the subject of medication antidepressants work the same as other meds like blood preassure etc. One will work for one person and not another. There are plenty to try . Not sure which one they're trying you with but alot of them are good to take at night as until you get used to them they can make you dopey . You're a beautiful human and a real man for the way you deal with life . You're looking fabulous and will soon feel the same way. As you deserve to . Sending positive vibes your way. Claire xx
Your words are so relevant and the way you describe the feelings of suffering with depression and/or anxiety are really important and helpful. Take one day at a time, you've got this!👍
Thanks for sharing, love this. Helpful as I’m debating going to the gp but I feel exactly as you’ve just described and it’s hard to describe and admit to someone.
You need to be brave and go to your gp Helen. It took years before I plucked up courage to go myself and now I’m on antidepressants and feel “normal “. Good luck. Xxx
Mark thank you for taking the time to do this ... I know it can’t be easy but the fact you are putting yourself out there , talking so openly and refreshingly about what’s happening with you is truly amazing . I’m sorry that you are going through a dark period ... I relate to what you said about feeling like a failure about it .. I feel like that a lot ... the negativity that goes through my head daily is really tough ... I get so tired of bashing myself down . As you said it’s hard to know what’s right .. to go on pills to not go on pills ..but you should never feel like you are a failure because you need some help . I know how hard the stigma still is ... I feel it . It’s why when I find people who truly understand it I cling on to that . Something Nadia always says is “ nobody is just one thing “ I always remember that if I ever feel judged for my mental health or if I am doubting myself ... we are all so much more than a depressive or someone who suffers from anxiety .. addiction or whatever it is . You are an amazing dad, amazing husband , amazing son , you are talented , thoughtful , funny , kind , creative and so much more . Never forget that mark ! These conversations are so important and I am so proud of you speaking out and making people who feel the same that little bit less alone . Sending so much love to you and Nadia this week I know it hasn’t been an easy one ... lots of love and hugs 😘💛🌈 xxxx
zoë agnew you are so articulate yourself Zoe ! Me ( Nadia here ) and the whole family really appreciate your thoughtfulness and continued support and kindness . Also well bloody done for dealing with your own demons daily too xx🌈🌈
Bravo! So eloquent, honest and brave. To admit things publicly seems to have given you that little kick up the arse you needed to move forwards. It will have helped so many others too I have no doubt x
Speaking as a spouse in a situation like this, well done you! Men who admit they need help are the strongest, most manly men of all! It's much healthier to be able to cry or ask for understanding when you are struggling then to shove it all down. I know it isn't easy for marriage, family, or self to travel this journey with depression, but I can't think of a better set of people to model the ups and downs of this for the world. Mental health is like a teeter totter, sometimes you are up, sometimes you are down but it's definitely more interesting then sitting still in the middle. You never know what each day brings, but for every dark day there will be a day that shines eventually. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, even though I talk to my husband about how he feels this helps me understand his perspective a bit more. It's also helpful to hear from Nadia, as it highlights that I am not alone on the other side of it.
Mark, I'm a trainee psychotherapist. I hear you, and you make an entire amount of sense to me. You have a great understanding of mental health and give a great recount of how it really feels. X
You are not a failure at all in fact the complete opposite, it takes courage to ask for help. Failure would have been not to go to gp, failure would be to start self medicating with drink and or drugs again. I have been on anti depressants for the last 17yrs and know that if I had not reached out I would not be here today. We can be our own worse enemies, harshest critics and beat ourselves up. I find that writing down 3 things that I am grateful for each day helps to open more positive neural pathways, it is also really important to talk to yourself the way you would if you were talking to a loved one - if we always tell ourselves we are stupid etc then our subconscious will find evidence to back it up so if you flip it and start talking positively about yourself to yourself your subconscious will find evidence to back that up (I know it might sound w@nky) but overtime it DOES help. I am rooting for you! xx
Mark ... I am in tears watching this, you vocalise so well exactly how I feel, I go from highs and the last couple of weeks extreme lows... I haven’t took any medication for 2 years and feel the pressure of giving in to taking medication again, even though I know this is not rational !! I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS.... you are doing a brilliant job and thank you xxxx
I was diagnosed with bpd and apparently we are so on and off with our anti depressants, one minute we think it's the best thing for us and the next we are questioning everything about it etc, apparently all bpd sufferers do that.. at the minute I am all for it and I hope it stays that way as I have been prescribed citalopram. Taking it at night before bed definitely helps rather than taking it in the morning so fingers crossed its helping me. Good luck Mark, I really think you'd benefit from some talk therapy, not just cbt. You're not failing at all, you're winning! Look how active you're being and with the aa meetings (yes you haven't been recently maybe as you implied in your video) but the point is, you are doing sooo much stuff to kick your depression in the arse, so much stuff and that definitely doesn't define to me as a loser. You're a lovely man.
Never feel like a failure, you have excelled in such a lot in your life including being a brilliant dad and husband, giving up alcohol (massive achievement), you have done amazing work sorting your garden out, you haven’t given up working on keeping fit and healthy. You are a winner, not a failure. If medication helps, then do it, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Stay strong x
Mark you should feel so proud and Thankyou for these vlogs as sharing your thoughts on depression is so helpful to others. Try the medication return to your meetings as your family love and need you so much 💕👍🙏
Mark I am someone who has never struggled with depression. I have a close friend who does and this has helped so much. I will try and understand how she is feeling and support her. Thank you
Mentally holding my arms out to hug you Mark. It is so difficult to put into words how our mind is making us feel. You are being proactive and medication I feel, has it's part to play in managing our depression and anxiety. Thank you for your honesty and openness, it helps, it really does xx
Hi Mark. I’m so sorry your suffering. I have depression and anxiety, I’ve suffered for 25 years and I’m resigned to the fact that I’ll probably have this for the rest of my life. I’ve been on so many different pills and right now I take sertraline which helps with anxiety, but not so much on the depression. Everything you’ve said I can relate to. It does feel like your admitting defeat when you speak about it, but so many of us are in the same boat and life can feel like a constant test of strength. I wish you all the best Mark. X
Thank you so much for your honesty Mark.It's so weird that when we go into the doctors to tell him how bad we are feeling , instead we smile and try to tell him that we are okay.Did you get a questionnaire to tick off with certain questions asking on a scale of 1 to 10 about how you are feeling? They then they add it up and the higher the score tells the doctor how bad things are.Sometimes it's easier writing things down rather than telling the doctor when you go to see him, then he will read it and he then ask you the questions.. I sometimes write a letter and hand it to the doctor an let her read it because when I go to the room I start to backtrack on how I'm really feeling ,then feel silly because I'm there to tell her that I need some help .We go in with other ailments ,so why not depression?.It's a serious illness and we need help with it just like any other illness.Well done for reaching out to your doctor and if he reads your Vlogs he will see what you really wanted to say to him.I hope he reads it.Take care Mark.x
You articulate what you are saying so well, you put into words what I wouldn’t be able to. I can relate to what you said and I admire you for putting your feelings out there. Thank you for sharing❤️
Hi Mark and Nadia, you guys are helping so many people with this. I feel the same. I’ve been spiraling down for a while now and with a history of depression and a rude wake up call with a friends suicide 3 months ago, I’ve decided to go back to therapy and, if needed, antidepressants. My GP prescrived me antidepressants with my promise of looking for a therapist but I still haven’t found one. I have done it hiding from my family and friends and this video made me think a lot. Although I feel like I’m alone, I know rationally I’m not. Thank you
You value kindness....try to be as kind to yourself as you are to others. There’s no failure here - acceptance is a victory. Commit to finding what helps -,be that meds, therapy, etc - and commit to it. You’ve got this Mark!
Mark its a sign of strength not weakness to go ask for help, know we are all here, im on antidepressants and they work for me, now in a process with my doctors help to wean off slowly. Doesn't mean ur on them for life only temporary to help your mental health. Well done x
I’m so glad you opened up to the doctor, it does make you feel like your reading from a script when you talk about your feelings to them . I’ve been on sertraline for years as my anxiety is unmanageable without them. I find they help me so much without that awful drunk feeling . There’s no shame in asking for help , never any shame x
Mark. You are so articulate & a legend. Based on my own experiences & others I know I think I understand the difficulties you face. Good luck, keep fighting. Aussie Bob X
Mark you are taking control . you have identified you are struggling and have taken the decision to speak to your gp. I struggle with anxiety and panic attacks and I have just had a few weeks where the black clouds engulfed me but like you it was different this time . Thank you for sharing your struggle with us it has helped so much to realise we are not alone.
Love your honesty. We always said to our son, if you broke your leg, you'd be on crutches. Sometimes you need that for your mental well being. Actually, you are strong because you are facing up and talking about how your feel and ... Helping others in the mean time.
Even talking about this helps so much. The sense of emptiness is something I can relate to so much and the preferring dark weather over the summer- I used to be so confused why I felt that way. Thank you so much for sharing. It makes others feel less alone, you are doing so much good by sharing your journey. Thank you x
Being aware of the need to see someone is a sign of strength . To feel the numbness is as if you have lost a part of yourself . When you seek treatment you are working your way back to yourself . By reaching out you gain instead of lose ,because each time to gain more knowledge about yourself . Then can manage the difficulties not easily but more effectively . Thanks for sharing it is appreciated .
Escitalopram?? That's the one I was taking for about a year. I think it did help. I hope it will get you to the point where you won't need it anymore. Keep gardening and doing stuff around the house -- I can tell THAT really lifts your spirits and gives you things to "aim" for... Maybe before you go see your doc next time, write everything down ... so you can remind yourself what to tell him OR just simply read it to him. I find myself having to do that or else I'll either forget or not feel comfortable enough to say anything. Big hugs. You're such a special person.. I truly hope you can see that for yourself!! xx
Mark, you are not a failure, you have opened up your heart and worries to us all and are so brave in sharing how you feel. Lots of people feel this way and thank you as they do not feel alone, and it is reassuring to know others also feel this way. You give love and hope to lots of people out there, thank you for sharing xx 💜😘
Please don't feel defeated, sometimes things just get too much. As the saying goes its OK to cry if things get on your mind, The cloud rains too when it gets too heavy. You have heavy support, all us subbies luv you Mark. Please stay strong you are not alone in your struggles.
Please carry on documenting this issue - it makes me feel like I’m not the only one suffering. If it’s sertraline you are on I have found that to be the best one. A few side effects to start with but push through them (they were minor) and then you will feel better. It took me about three weeks to feel the effect on the meds. My doctor always uses what I said to her as an example to other patients. I went back after 3 weeks and she said ‘how are you feeling?’ And I said ‘less worse’! I hadn’t realised I’d said that but she said it’s a good way to explain how you will still feel bad initially but it gets less - then you realise one day you feel better. Good luck and keep on doing what you are doing.
Mark not sure if this will help you but I hope it does. Not all of us are wired quite right. That saying always makes me smile because it's true. Some people go through life with no worries, no anxiety, no low MOODS, no depression etc etc the list is endless. Some of us however are born worriers, have anxiety, low mood depression etc etc. Some times we cope with life and all the crap it brings and sometimes we don't which is when WE ASK FOR HELP and it's recognising like you have done that YOU NEED SOME HELP. It isn't a weakness at all, it's your mind and body saying enough is enough you need some assistance. I developed anxiety when I lost both my parents within a year of each other, my mum to cancer and my dad to motor neurone disease. To say I was devastated is the biggest understatement EVER. As I was dealing with that, I went through an immediate menopause which hit me hard and that's when the anxiety kicked in. I started to have panic attacks in stressful situations which were very frightening and then I started to struggle at work. Lost all my confidence, had brain fog, didn't want to even speak to my work colleagues it was horrendous. Then one day I hit the wall and it all came out with me crying, sobbing, hyperventilating and that day was the start of my recovery. I work at my doctors surgery and I was whisked to see my doctor straight away and put on anti depressants. The first two weeks were not good but I persevered and after that the blackness started to lift day by day. I took them for 6 months and slowly weaned myself off them only because they did make me feel tired and quite lethargic but they had sorted what was going on I'm my head and 18 months later I'm learning to cope without them but they were my saviour at a very low time in my life. ITS OK TO GET HELP MARK💙
Hello Mark!! Your vlogs on mental health are brilliant and touching. Was it Sertraline the doc put you on? I have been on Sertraline for quite a few years now - LIFE CHANGING!! As I am sure you are aware, however, the first week or so starting on them was tough and I almost gave up but persevere and you will see light at the end of that tunnel. I have suffered with the "black dog" since I was very young (in retrospect I can see that) and went to the docs a few times. I was offered pills but never took them - not sure why. My daughter and husband pretty much dragged me to the GP about four years ago and he put me on the Sertraline. After a few weeks on them it was like my brain rewired itself. I could do all sorts of things again - even drive in the dark!! Bizarre - perhaps just a confidence thing. My daughter at the time said "Why did you wait until I left for university to take the meds?"
Mark, I hope the medication helps you feel better soon and there is nothing to be ashamed of in admitting that you're not feeling well. It takes guts to do so. Five months ago my partner was mentally very unwell and with the right medication he now feels joy in life again which is wonderful to see.
Thankyou Mark just thankyou, as someone that suffers from depression and anxiety and who’s having a bad day, please don’t ever think you’ve failed by asking for help, there’s no shame in asking for help there just isn’t, I had to and now I’m getting the help I need. so thankyou for talking to us about your mental health and remember #itsoknottobeok and ask for that much needed help. Xx
Thanks for sharing Mark. Sharing honestly will be helping so many others, including me today. In those dark times, I have always tried to work from the inside out - sitting with my feelings, accepting my feelings - good and bad, attending meetings, talking honestly with trusted people, meditation and keeping active. CBT will certainly help to change the thinking. Be kind to yourself, and as they say “keep it simple” x
Dearest Mark, you are so honest and authentic, you will come through this FUG. I totally get you, wish I could give you the tightest hug. It’s those qualities which you and Nadia, and indeed all you family, possess which makes your vlogs (all of them) by far and away the best on TH-cam. Your intelligence and authenticity shines through all the time. Id would love you to understand how helpful your openness is to us your subs. I truly wish you well.
I agree with you mark we all are a combination of positive and negative no one is always happy and upbeat regardless of what we may portray in society. I hope your days ahead are much brighter stay strong and keep focus on all the things you are great at for example a great dad, husband and son✨
There is so much I want to say....but I don't want to blab on but I'll start by saying yes I felt/feel failure I should know better. The most important thing ever said to me by my Doctor is this is an illness like any other...now I get annoyed when people I know treat it as anything less. I'm in counselling it's helped enormously because I can say things I can't say to anybody else for whatever reason. I can cry...'sorry' is my buzz word and every time I'm told you don't have to say it. I could go on but Mark and others we are not failures we have recognized we need to address our illness straight on and maybe we do need to talk to a counsellor who you can speak as it is and that includes you Mark Adderley with your inner most thoughts. Thank you...this stigma must stop...
Thank you for talking about this Mark, as I know it's not easy. I agree and want everyone to talk more about mental health. I am concerned that many GPs are not specialists in this field and don't always offer the correct help. It is not easy for for anyone as it is not all black and white, if that makes any sense. Please don't feel the pressure of having to tell us everything unless it is helping you as I wouldn't want it making you feel emotionally exhausted. Sending positive thoughts your way 😊 ps I took my youngest to the park near us today but spent most of the time playing in the woods as I couldn't face people and the sun, I look forwards to the Autumn 🙈 x
Mark you are a man I so admired. Remember it is only ignorance that makes mental health a taboo. If you have any other health issues that we need to take medication for we do not think twice about it. This is not a win or lose situation. Sunshine and Happiness Always xxx
Your bravery and candidness brought as tear to my eye and will help so many others take the first step in reaching out for help. I understand and know personally exactly how you feel. As I battle with this every minute of every day. You are a beautiful man with a deep, empathetic soul. Take care of your sweet self.
Heyo, I still don't feel brave enough or confident enough to go back to the doctors or to go to therapy but it so nice to hear you explain how you feel and see you taking care of yourself and it helps me feel a little bit better sometimes knowing that others struggle simply asking for help too.
I lay in bed all night barraging myself with how worthless & pathetic I am. I, like you, have the kindness gene also sensitive to the bone. Ppl tell me to grow a thick skin but it's not the way I'm made I FEEL it all. Also tinkering on the idea of medication but I'm even afraid of that. Thank you for your honesty Mark we all need a little more kindness in the world 💓
I have just come off my medication after nearly 6 years. Was very hard. But am glad I did. I really felt fuzzy and not with it. Now feel so much better. Take care Mark. Dont feel bad or anything. Sometimes we really do need help .
Such a great post Mark. Sometimes we just have to stop struggling on our own, put our hands and say “I think I need a little help here” I hope you can get a bit of relief after taking the first step-you should be very proud of yourself! 🌞🌻
Mark I totally get what you are saying and going through I’m on antidepressants for life as when I’ve come off of them I can’t cope , you should be very proud of yourself for speaking about what you’ve been through and have been going through the last few weeks and you have so inspired me today listening to you depression and addiction are a very hard thing to go through, it’s all the different emotions that go with this illness and so hard to pull yourself out of sometimes, you have a wonderful and supportive family so in that way you are blessed I’ve had no support from mine only one very good friend and a wonderful GP and I have survived and feel I’m a better person for what I’ve been through, you are a very caring and kind human being Mark and thank you for this vlog it has touched me in a very positive way ❤️❤️
Thank you for posting this. I have been working on my mental health for over 14 years. I also do not like taking antidepressants, (even though I do), as it feels like giving in somehow. I have been experiencing crippling health anxiety over the past year so I am now going to some group sessions for talking therapy. Still not sure if that is helping or not. Luckily, I have three gorgeous teenagers who keep me active. I have used my own experiences to talk to them to make sure they are confident and have as much self-esteem as possible. My husband is also amazing. He has a naturally positive mindset so he doesn't always understand how my brain works, but he constantly supports me through all my bouts of low mood swings. I have also opened up a bit at work. That was difficult but I work with children and I think that talking about these issues is so important. The stigma around mental health problems needs to be removed. Your vlogs really help. It is reassuring to know that I am not the only person who feels this way. I also really appreciated Nadia talking about her experiences of the menopause. It has helped me understand some of the symptoms I am going through. Thank you both.
Mark if this was a heart condition you were suffering from, you'd Gladly take medication. So why is there Such an issue with taking Antidepressants!
Please Don't feel a failure. If we aren't well in our heads then we aren't well overall.
I know I couldn't cope without my antidepressants.
Please do go to all your meetings etc.
Your Health is your Wealth!!
So true!!!! X
Me neither Rosie! 🤦♀️🤦♀️💖💖xx
Absolutely right, depression is NOT a life choice, your brain is sick, you cannot see it, there is no x-ray or scan. It's invisible and a silent killer. I see it in your eyes I recognise it.
Well said 👏
Do you know something , you have taken control of your mental health , you decided you don't want or indeed need to struggle anymore . Why is it we all feel like frauds when we go to the Dr's. My beautiful Nephew took his own life aged 18 in 2014 . Noone knew he was depressed not his Mum Dad or Sister. I just wished he had told us and we would have taken him to the Dr's for the help he needed and maybe he would be alive today and be thinking very differently . So take your tablets Mark and be proud . Love to you and the fam ❤❤❤❤❤
@@RockDove5212 Thankyou so much for your lovely words. Yes it's hard , but lets not forget this life is also beautiful , so lets look for the beauty and be the beauty also x😘😘🌸🌸🌸
excellent point Gail, taking control of your mental health is such a positive thing, you control it rather than feeling like it in fact controls YOU. Well said mate.....cheers
@@tanni3670 lots of love to you😘😘😘😘😘
I've spent many a happy hour just staring at the wall not feeling anything much at all. Sometimes it's easier just to accept who you are and love every part of yourself!
I feel so privileged to have found you and your lovely family on TH-cam. You address very tough life issues in such an articulate thoughtful way. I have taken citalopram for many years.. I consider it to be like a diet supplement replacing something my body hasn't enough of. That said I was so fearful of that first pill and what it would do to me. As the weeks went on it was like a weight being lifted. I was doing things I hadn't even realised I'd stopped doing, feeling more confident and more me than I had for years. I hope you have success with your new medication. There will be something out there for you Mark. Keep trying. Keep talking and remember self care is the most important thing. Sending love to you all ♥️
Mark you explain it so eloquently... you have helped me immensely with my own black cloud(which I've suffered for 26years). stay strong ....you are definitely not a loser!!! Xx
There are no words strong enough to make you understand how much your words and videos mean to me, I’ve not yet found something that works for me and when you was talking about the nothingness you felt in the car I completely get it, I always say it paralyses me but no one understands what I mean. Thank you for your strength to post about your mental health, I can’t even talk to my family about it for the shame I would feel if they really knew what went on inside my head and I wouldn’t want my single Dad to feel as if he had failed. Thank you for sharing your journey Mark, your one incredible guy ✌🏼
I think it's rare to recover completely from depression unless the depression is caused by a specific life event that you can sort. I view it as part of my life and I've learned ways to cope, one being taking anti depressants which should never be viewed as a negative thing. They just give you a lift out of the pit so you can start dealing with it. I've never felt they dull my feelings. I've always felt the opposite. They let me be me. Most depressives are so much more than their illness. They are usually funny, creative, empathetic and loving people. . All of which you are. Also talking to a counsellor or psychologist is extremely helpful. I hope this is the first step for you to feel free of the depressive thoughts which can take up your whole waking life :). Love your vlogs
I know it’s a well worn comparison but it’s so true that if you were a diabetic you wouldn’t feel you’d failed when taking insulin. You’re taking care of yourself - that’s an achievement, something to be proud of. Well done you and thank you for sharing - it genuinely makes a difference to more people than you can know. Xx
I believe in a problem shared is a problem halved .so I hope in some way chatting to us as helped ,because we all love you mark❤️
I understand what you mean about feeling like a failure for taking the anti depressants.. but my Father told me something a few years ago that stuck with me.. he said Son you can get away from everything but yourself! And it just hit me that I am not a robot and I need help because I am human. I truly hope things improve for you Mark, i really enjoy you and your families videos.
👏👏👏🙏🌌⭐
Aww Mark, you are amazing and reaching out for help is always hard and humbling. You are very loved as a Husband, Father and Son and us Subs totally adore you and love you and your family. You will get no judgment from this sub btw, just respect for being soo honest in your sharing.
You have to do what your gut tells you, I hope you don’t beat yourself up about this morning. You have done a good thing and you have shared this too.
Stay strong and know your family and us Subs are rooting for you to feel like the demons are lifting xxx big respect x
Mark. That took courage to talk from the heart in the way you just have. You will have helped so many, thank you for your goodness and honesty. We are all the same in front of our doctor, we never tell the complete truth, then wish we had . I hope the new medication helps . Love to you and your fabulous family. You are inspiring and I wish you the very best of the best. Xxxx😘
I was on citalopram for many years and found they stopped working. I've been on sertraline for 2 months now and feel so much better. My problem is anxiety but it was stopping me from enjoying life, luckily it didn't stop me from working which is very important for me
Good luck Mark! We are all rooting for you
Don’t feel a failure or a loser and don’t be embarrassed telling your doctor how you feel because who is to say your doctor hasn’t felt exactly like you, look at the comments you are not alone, there are millions that feel exactly like you do, and I tell you what can make things feel worse, tiredness...if you are continually overthinking and your mind racing and anxious and panic feelings you don’t sleep well and lack of sleep can make your symptoms worse. Find something you enjoy doing, anything and relax...you are fabulous and you need to start telling yourself that, you are helping so many people on here, let us help you, we all love you and your family xx
All i want to do is hug you mark, so i'll send you a great big[[ hug]] 🤗💖
What i have seen after watching you and your lovely family, is a overachiever at work, as a dad, as a husband, a son and as a kind funny thoughtful human being, thanks for being you and for sharing your heart. love Sam xxxx
Mark, what a lovely, eloquent,humble human being you are! Sending you love, healing and peace 💚🌼
Being vulnerable is not a weakness but a supper strength. I am glad that you sought help and shared some of your symptoms and feelings with the doctor. One thing worth doing is looking back at your vlogs, sometimes I think we forget the personal journey missing the positives of what we have achieved. Having watched some of your vlogs last winter I think you have come along way. It’s a journey not a race x
You are very articulate Mark. You just described that “feeling nothing” perfectly for me. I had that feeling for a long time. It took me another 6 months to go to the Drs (and then I went with a sore throat 🙄) to find out I was “depressed.
I had /have never heard anybody describe that feeling before and when you did I felt like I’d been hit on the head with a big bell! I don’t think people realise that depression can be “not feeling or even caring” rather than an overwhelming sadness. I did a parachute jump in the middle of it all and I literally felt nothing, no excitement, no fear. I could have been plummeting to the ground with no parachute and couldn’t have cared less.
So....... thank you. Even in the depths of your illness you are sharing to help others. I just hope that we can all help you too by listening. X
There's a real sadness in your eyes today Mark, take care your family also has had a crappy week which won't have helped at all, hugs to you all you are a wonderful dad and husband and deserve to feel happy xx
Mark it makes total sense what you’re explaining and you’re so articulate !!
You sound like me...love the dark have my blinds closed all the time.
I put this down to atmospheric things that are happening.
You are definitely not a loser at all! You have to do what you have to do. Balance is everything. I would stay of the diet stuff it's lab created additive actually dnt help anyone loose weight.
Might be hormones Mark it's not just woman with have imbalances.
Life is a frigging donkey ride...ups and downs.
Bless you Mark take care...this is normal Mark you are the same as every other human cos we often don't cope with emotional states the fact your so candid about it is really open and very honest. guys watching are inspired by your openness and transparency it's so so important to talk.
Mark, it takes the manliest of manly men to open up and talk about this stuff. Love from, depressingly sunny, Manchester x
Mark, thank you for letting us be with you through this journey. You are helping me so much and making me think it’s ok to be feel how I feel sometimes. Thank you, bless you and keep on going.
I feel sad watching this, it just goes to show no matter how happy someone looks or acts, you never know how they are feeling deep down, mark you will get through this stage in your life! You have an amazing wife, supportive mum and 2 lovely kids xx please look after yourself
Totally understand were you are coming from. I always end up in tears while trying to explain how I feel and I hate that. I am so glad you have been for help. Hope your new meds work asap.
I Can so see in your eyes that your struggling a bit Mark, there’s no shame because truly it happens to most of us. It seems to me those that are particularly kind, thoughtful and caring of others are the most susceptible to depression and you Mark are that loving, warm, compassionate man. Depression is a disease and a hidden devil, mental health issues runs in my family, I too have real bouts of turmoil with it, but just seeing your lovely Dr and trying some new meds is a really positive step in your self care. Sure that sparkle will soon be back Mark, you can’t do anymore than your doing, so cut yourself some slack and give yourself some tlc and remember how many people including us subs who are rooting for you. 🌈🕊😎
Thank you Mark for your honesty, courage, articulacy and humour. We all deserve help when we need it.
Love you mark, your amazing, not a failure at all. You talking openly and honestly about your struggle helps me gain an insight into my fiancee who has the same struggles. Thank you xxx
Such a brave man Mark .By talking and sharing your feelings it will not only help you but many others .I send you lots of love and best wishes x
Great to see you seeking help Mark . We often forget Men's Mental Health .. & just how critical it can get if Men in particular do not speak out or ask for guidance. I wished my Son had spoken out , 15 weeks without him & it does not get any easier . I try & think at least he isnt battling his demons anymore but he could of been helped if he had shared. So thank you ...if you encourage even 1 person to speak out then WOW ..full respect to you lovely Man xx
I’ve been on medication for my anxiety for 18 months now.... after suffering for years I finally feel calmer and more able to “cope”. I felt like a failure too at the beginning but I guess it’s better to be proactive In bettering your own life and sometimes admitting defeat helps u win.....
I reduced the dose tho which stopped me feeling so “knocked off”
Thanks again mark .
I'm proud of you Mark. There is no shame in asking for help, we all need help sometimes and you have taken those first steps, so well done. I have been on a myriad of Antidepressants over the last few years, some didn't suit me, some had no effect but eventually a combo of two different AD's were prescribed. I still get times when i feel very low, but i've gone through so much in recent years it's a miracle i'm still here!! My husband Ray is my saviour, he is the reason i carry on. Give the AD's a chance to do their thing and see if they make a difference. Ray has been on Citalopram for about 5 years now and he is so glad he asked for help and he wants me to tell you he felt like you, he couldn't understand why he couldn't cope, now he copes with life much better. You really are not alone. xxx
Your are so authentic and articulate Mark. This was a dr’s appointment and doctors don’t expect you to be totally eloquent and “perform” , and I expect you are far more able to explain yourself than most. I am sure you are giving courage to so many to open up to their feelings and take the big step of seeing their GP for help. Your open and candid vlogs have helped me to understand so much about mental health and just in the course of day to day interaction with people has helped me to think “why are people behaving in the way they do” rather than just thinking they are off hand or rude or unsociable. I hope your new medication helps. If it is any comfort at all, I take a range of medication following a horse falling on me in 1994 and every GP visit I go in all upbeat and saying everything is fine when actually I am in constant pain and dealing with the daily frustrations this brings and my inability to do all the physical things I want to. I then try and be normal overdo it physically and end up back in bed and so the cycle continues. I feel a huge failure when I have to admit the pain meds aren’t working or their is something else I have had to add to my list of “can’t do’s” . I take so much from both you and Nadia and also your gorgeous girls. I have two of my own girls and a stepdaughter, and you have helped me to realise that my inadequacies physically do affect them too. They were born after my accident, are now 19 and 21, and my stepdaughter is nearly 30. They have never known me to be any different and I am pretty hands on but the question keeps nagging at me, were we selfish desperately wanting them knowing I wasn’t physically completely well? Xx
Love your honest if helps one person or few people struggling be proud of yourself mark your doing awesome hugs and love x
I fully can understand how you are feeling! It is like you are reading my mind. Thank you. I thought it was just me.
You are an amazing man, son husband and father dont forget that much love
Hope that you have support around you.
Well done for taking this step. Maybe next time you should record one of these and play it to your Dr! And make sure you sort those CBT and AA meetings, now you've said it on here you'll have thousands of us to nag you till you do. Sending lots of love, hope these new antidepressants help x
Mark, you are such an incredible soul. Just putting your camera on saying things like this which takes a lot of bloody strength which actually feels unfortunate to say as it’s almost like it’s taken as something abnormal which it isn’t. You’re going to help so many lives. People may be able to show this to someone and say they couldn’t find the words but this is exactly how they’re also feeling. Someone might see this and feel less alone and take that step to the doctors. Not a failure of yourself in fact turn that around you’re saying fuck this dark shadow I’m gonna feel better. Your family is incredible. I love this channel. This is so important to be out there. Thank you. 🖤
I have had the feeling of failure every single time I've had to go back on or raise the dose of my antidepressants. I THINK THAT'S my programming. It's what I've been taught by others views of their own abilities and mental health.
And yes what you said made sense.
The feeling of losing a battle is an indicator of the need for change.
Just finished my first guided self health session.
Lots of love.
So beautifully eliquent. You made perfect sense to someone that has and still struggles with depression . Doing the normal things like self care and exercise can only help so much , if you're a bit down. Clinical depression is a different animal and needs to be dealt with on another level. On the subject of medication antidepressants work the same as other meds like blood preassure etc. One will work for one person and not another. There are plenty to try . Not sure which one they're trying you with but alot of them are good to take at night as until you get used to them they can make you dopey . You're a beautiful human and a real man for the way you deal with life . You're looking fabulous and will soon feel the same way. As you deserve to . Sending positive vibes your way. Claire xx
aaaaw you explain everything so well, i relate to so much of it, thank you for sharing so honestly x
Your words are so relevant and the way you describe the feelings of suffering with depression and/or anxiety are really important and helpful. Take one day at a time, you've got this!👍
Thanks for sharing, love this. Helpful as I’m debating going to the gp but I feel exactly as you’ve just described and it’s hard to describe and admit to someone.
You need to be brave and go to your gp Helen. It took years before I plucked up courage to go myself and now I’m on antidepressants and feel “normal “. Good luck. Xxx
Mark thank you for taking the time to do this ... I know it can’t be easy but the fact you are putting yourself out there , talking so openly and refreshingly about what’s happening with you is truly amazing .
I’m sorry that you are going through a dark period ... I relate to what you said about feeling like a failure about it .. I feel like that a lot ... the negativity that goes through my head daily is really tough ... I get so tired of bashing myself down . As you said it’s hard to know what’s right .. to go on pills to not go on pills ..but you should never feel like you are a failure because you need some help . I know how hard the stigma still is ... I feel it . It’s why when I find people who truly understand it I cling on to that . Something Nadia always says is “ nobody is just one thing “ I always remember that if I ever feel judged for my mental health or if I am doubting myself ... we are all so much more than a depressive or someone who suffers from anxiety .. addiction or whatever it is . You are an amazing dad, amazing husband , amazing son , you are talented , thoughtful , funny , kind , creative and so much more . Never forget that mark ! These conversations are so important and I am so proud of you speaking out and making people who feel the same that little bit less alone . Sending so much love to you and Nadia this week I know it hasn’t been an easy one ... lots of love and hugs 😘💛🌈 xxxx
zoë agnew you are so articulate yourself Zoe ! Me ( Nadia here ) and the whole family really appreciate your thoughtfulness and continued support and kindness . Also well bloody done for dealing with your own demons daily too xx🌈🌈
Nadia Sawalha - Family, Films, Food & Fun thank you so much nads 😘😘 xxx
Bravo! So eloquent, honest and brave. To admit things publicly seems to have given you that little kick up the arse you needed to move forwards. It will have helped so many others too I have no doubt x
Speaking as a spouse in a situation like this, well done you! Men who admit they need help are the strongest, most manly men of all! It's much healthier to be able to cry or ask for understanding when you are struggling then to shove it all down. I know it isn't easy for marriage, family, or self to travel this journey with depression, but I can't think of a better set of people to model the ups and downs of this for the world. Mental health is like a teeter totter, sometimes you are up, sometimes you are down but it's definitely more interesting then sitting still in the middle. You never know what each day brings, but for every dark day there will be a day that shines eventually. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, even though I talk to my husband about how he feels this helps me understand his perspective a bit more. It's also helpful to hear from Nadia, as it highlights that I am not alone on the other side of it.
Mark, I'm a trainee psychotherapist. I hear you, and you make an entire amount of sense to me. You have a great understanding of mental health and give a great recount of how it really feels. X
You are not a failure at all in fact the complete opposite, it takes courage to ask for help. Failure would have been not to go to gp, failure would be to start self medicating with drink and or drugs again. I have been on anti depressants for the last 17yrs and know that if I had not reached out I would not be here today. We can be our own worse enemies, harshest critics and beat ourselves up. I find that writing down 3 things that I am grateful for each day helps to open more positive neural pathways, it is also really important to talk to yourself the way you would if you were talking to a loved one - if we always tell ourselves we are stupid etc then our subconscious will find evidence to back it up so if you flip it and start talking positively about yourself to yourself your subconscious will find evidence to back that up (I know it might sound w@nky) but overtime it DOES help. I am rooting for you! xx
Mark ... I am in tears watching this, you vocalise so well exactly how I feel, I go from highs and the last couple of weeks extreme lows... I haven’t took any medication for 2 years and feel the pressure of giving in to taking medication again, even though I know this is not rational !! I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS.... you are doing a brilliant job and thank you xxxx
Mark, it is a sign of huge strength to acknowledge you need help and to seek that out. X
I was diagnosed with bpd and apparently we are so on and off with our anti depressants, one minute we think it's the best thing for us and the next we are questioning everything about it etc, apparently all bpd sufferers do that.. at the minute I am all for it and I hope it stays that way as I have been prescribed citalopram. Taking it at night before bed definitely helps rather than taking it in the morning so fingers crossed its helping me. Good luck Mark, I really think you'd benefit from some talk therapy, not just cbt. You're not failing at all, you're winning! Look how active you're being and with the aa meetings (yes you haven't been recently maybe as you implied in your video) but the point is, you are doing sooo much stuff to kick your depression in the arse, so much stuff and that definitely doesn't define to me as a loser. You're a lovely man.
Never feel like a failure, you have excelled in such a lot in your life including being a brilliant dad and husband, giving up alcohol (massive achievement), you have done amazing work sorting your garden out, you haven’t given up working on keeping fit and healthy. You are a winner, not a failure. If medication helps, then do it, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Stay strong x
I hope you feel better soon and the tabs help! Thank you for sharing Mark
Mark you should feel so proud and Thankyou for these vlogs as sharing your thoughts on depression is so helpful to others. Try the medication return to your meetings as your family love and need you so much 💕👍🙏
Mark I am someone who has never struggled with depression. I have a close friend who does and this has helped so much. I will try and understand how she is feeling and support her. Thank you
Mentally holding my arms out to hug you Mark. It is so difficult to put into words how our mind is making us feel. You are being proactive and medication I feel, has it's part to play in managing our depression and anxiety. Thank you for your honesty and openness, it helps, it really does xx
Hi Mark. I’m so sorry your suffering. I have depression and anxiety, I’ve suffered for 25 years and I’m resigned to the fact that I’ll probably have this for the rest of my life. I’ve been on so many different pills and right now I take sertraline which helps with anxiety, but not so much on the depression. Everything you’ve said I can relate to. It does feel like your admitting defeat when you speak about it, but so many of us are in the same boat and life can feel like a constant test of strength. I wish you all the best Mark. X
Thank you so much for your honesty Mark.It's so weird that when we go into the doctors to tell him how bad we are feeling , instead we smile and try to tell him that we are okay.Did you get a questionnaire to tick off with certain questions asking on a scale of 1 to 10 about how you are feeling? They then they add it up and the higher the score tells the doctor how bad things are.Sometimes it's easier writing things down rather than telling the doctor when you go to see him, then he will read it and he then ask you the questions.. I sometimes write a letter and hand it to the doctor an let her read it because when I go to the room I start to backtrack on how I'm really feeling ,then feel silly because I'm there to tell her that I need some help .We go in with other ailments ,so why not depression?.It's a serious illness and we need help with it just like any other illness.Well done for reaching out to your doctor and if he reads your Vlogs he will see what you really wanted to say to him.I hope he reads it.Take care Mark.x
You articulate what you are saying so well, you put into words what I wouldn’t be able to. I can relate to what you said and I admire you for putting your feelings out there. Thank you for sharing❤️
Thanks soo much for sharing your struggles with mental health xx
Hi Mark and Nadia, you guys are helping so many people with this. I feel the same. I’ve been spiraling down for a while now and with a history of depression and a rude wake up call with a friends suicide 3 months ago, I’ve decided to go back to therapy and, if needed, antidepressants. My GP prescrived me antidepressants with my promise of looking for a therapist but I still haven’t found one. I have done it hiding from my family and friends and this video made me think a lot. Although I feel like I’m alone, I know rationally I’m not. Thank you
You value kindness....try to be as kind to yourself as you are to others. There’s no failure here - acceptance is a victory. Commit to finding what helps -,be that meds, therapy, etc - and commit to it. You’ve got this Mark!
Thank you for talking about this Mark x
Mark its a sign of strength not weakness to go ask for help, know we are all here, im on antidepressants and they work for me, now in a process with my doctors help to wean off slowly. Doesn't mean ur on them for life only temporary to help your mental health. Well done x
Thank you Mark for sharing by doing so you will have helped a lot of people.❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m so glad you opened up to the doctor, it does make you feel like your reading from a script when you talk about your feelings to them . I’ve been on sertraline for years as my anxiety is unmanageable without them. I find they help me so much without that awful drunk feeling . There’s no shame in asking for help , never any shame x
Thanks for sharing Mark. X
Mark. You are so articulate & a legend. Based on my own experiences & others I know I think I understand the difficulties you face. Good luck, keep fighting. Aussie Bob X
Mark you are taking control . you have identified you are struggling and have taken the decision to speak to your gp. I struggle with anxiety and panic attacks and I have just had a few weeks where the black clouds engulfed me but like you it was different this time . Thank you for sharing your struggle with us it has helped so much to realise we are not alone.
Love your honesty. We always said to our son, if you broke your leg, you'd be on crutches. Sometimes you need that for your mental well being. Actually, you are strong because you are facing up and talking about how your feel and ... Helping others in the mean time.
Even talking about this helps so much. The sense of emptiness is something I can relate to so much and the preferring dark weather over the summer- I used to be so confused why I felt that way. Thank you so much for sharing. It makes others feel less alone, you are doing so much good by sharing your journey. Thank you x
Mark thank you for talking. It really helps to reduce stigma. X
Being aware of the need to see someone is a sign of strength . To feel the numbness is as if you have lost a part of yourself . When you seek treatment you are working your way back to yourself . By reaching out you gain instead of lose ,because each time to gain more knowledge about yourself . Then can manage the difficulties not easily but more effectively . Thanks for sharing it is appreciated .
Well done you Mark, hope you start to feel better soon 🙂
Escitalopram?? That's the one I was taking for about a year. I think it did help. I hope it will get you to the point where you won't need it anymore. Keep gardening and doing stuff around the house -- I can tell THAT really lifts your spirits and gives you things to "aim" for... Maybe before you go see your doc next time, write everything down ... so you can remind yourself what to tell him OR just simply read it to him. I find myself having to do that or else I'll either forget or not feel comfortable enough to say anything. Big hugs. You're such a special person.. I truly hope you can see that for yourself!! xx
Mark, you are not a failure, you have opened up your heart and worries to us all and are so brave in sharing how you feel. Lots of people feel this way and thank you as they do not feel alone, and it is reassuring to know others also feel this way. You give love and hope to lots of people out there, thank you for sharing xx 💜😘
Please don't feel defeated, sometimes things just get too much. As the saying goes its OK to cry if things get on your mind, The cloud rains too when it gets too heavy. You have heavy support, all us subbies luv you Mark. Please stay strong you are not alone in your struggles.
Well done Mark for your honesty
You are one hell of a man!
Xxxx
Please carry on documenting this issue - it makes me feel like I’m not the only one suffering. If it’s sertraline you are on I have found that to be the best one. A few side effects to start with but push through them (they were minor) and then you will feel better. It took me about three weeks to feel the effect on the meds. My doctor always uses what I said to her as an example to other patients. I went back after 3 weeks and she said ‘how are you feeling?’ And I said ‘less worse’! I hadn’t realised I’d said that but she said it’s a good way to explain how you will still feel bad initially but it gets less - then you realise one day you feel better. Good luck and keep on doing what you are doing.
Mark not sure if this will help you but I hope it does. Not all of us are wired quite right. That saying always makes me smile because it's true. Some people go through life with no worries, no anxiety, no low MOODS, no depression etc etc the list is endless. Some of us however are born worriers, have anxiety, low mood depression etc etc. Some times we cope with life and all the crap it brings and sometimes we don't which is when WE ASK FOR HELP and it's recognising like you have done that YOU NEED SOME HELP. It isn't a weakness at all, it's your mind and body saying enough is enough you need some assistance. I developed anxiety when I lost both my parents within a year of each other, my mum to cancer and my dad to motor neurone disease. To say I was devastated is the biggest understatement EVER. As I was dealing with that, I went through an immediate menopause which hit me hard and that's when the anxiety kicked in. I started to have panic attacks in stressful situations which were very frightening and then I started to struggle at work. Lost all my confidence, had brain fog, didn't want to even speak to my work colleagues it was horrendous. Then one day I hit the wall and it all came out with me crying, sobbing, hyperventilating and that day was the start of my recovery. I work at my doctors surgery and I was whisked to see my doctor straight away and put on anti depressants. The first two weeks were not good but I persevered and after that the blackness started to lift day by day. I took them for 6 months and slowly weaned myself off them only because they did make me feel tired and quite lethargic but they had sorted what was going on I'm my head and 18 months later I'm learning to cope without them but they were my saviour at a very low time in my life. ITS OK TO GET HELP MARK💙
I just got anti-depressants. After being on them for a month I realised I should have started them earlier.
Hello Mark!! Your vlogs on mental health are brilliant and touching. Was it Sertraline the doc put you on? I have been on Sertraline for quite a few years now - LIFE CHANGING!! As I am sure you are aware, however, the first week or so starting on them was tough and I almost gave up but persevere and you will see light at the end of that tunnel. I have suffered with the "black dog" since I was very young (in retrospect I can see that) and went to the docs a few times. I was offered pills but never took them - not sure why. My daughter and husband pretty much dragged me to the GP about four years ago and he put me on the Sertraline. After a few weeks on them it was like my brain rewired itself. I could do all sorts of things again - even drive in the dark!! Bizarre - perhaps just a confidence thing. My daughter at the time said "Why did you wait until I left for university to take the meds?"
Mark, I hope the medication helps you feel better soon and there is nothing to be ashamed of in admitting that you're not feeling well. It takes guts to do so. Five months ago my partner was mentally very unwell and with the right medication he now feels joy in life again which is wonderful to see.
Thankyou Mark just thankyou, as someone that suffers from depression and anxiety and who’s having a bad day, please don’t ever think you’ve failed by asking for help, there’s no shame in asking for help there just isn’t, I had to and now I’m getting the help I need. so thankyou for talking to us about your mental health and remember #itsoknottobeok and ask for that much needed help. Xx
Thanks for sharing Mark.
Sharing honestly will be helping so many others, including me today. In those dark times, I have always tried to work from the inside out - sitting with my feelings, accepting my feelings - good and bad, attending meetings, talking honestly with trusted people, meditation and keeping active. CBT will certainly help to change the thinking. Be kind to yourself, and as they say “keep it simple” x
Dearest Mark, you are so honest and authentic, you will come through this FUG. I totally get you, wish I could give you the tightest hug. It’s those qualities which you and Nadia, and indeed all you family, possess which makes your vlogs (all of them) by far and away the best on TH-cam. Your intelligence and authenticity shines through all the time. Id would love you to understand how helpful your openness is to us your subs. I truly wish you well.
Hi Mark x I don't think you realise just how much you are helping me/us and yourself? Luv to you and Nadia thankyou both xx
I agree with you mark we all are a combination of positive and negative no one is always happy and upbeat regardless of what we may portray in society. I hope your days ahead are much brighter stay strong and keep focus on all the things you are great at for example a great dad, husband and son✨
There is so much I want to say....but I don't want to blab on but I'll start by saying yes I felt/feel failure I should know better. The most important thing ever said to me by my Doctor is this is an illness like any other...now I get annoyed when people I know treat it as anything less. I'm in counselling it's helped enormously because I can say things I can't say to anybody else for whatever reason. I can cry...'sorry' is my buzz word and every time I'm told you don't have to say it. I could go on but Mark and others we are not failures we have recognized we need to address our illness straight on and maybe we do need to talk to a counsellor who you can speak as it is and that includes you Mark Adderley with your inner most thoughts. Thank you...this stigma must stop...
Thank you for talking about this Mark, as I know it's not easy. I agree and want everyone to talk more about mental health. I am concerned that many GPs are not specialists in this field and don't always offer the correct help. It is not easy for for anyone as it is not all black and white, if that makes any sense. Please don't feel the pressure of having to tell us everything unless it is helping you as I wouldn't want it making you feel emotionally exhausted. Sending positive thoughts your way 😊 ps I took my youngest to the park near us today but spent most of the time playing in the woods as I couldn't face people and the sun, I look forwards to the Autumn 🙈 x
Mark you are a man I so admired. Remember it is only ignorance that makes mental health a taboo. If you have any other health issues that we need to take medication for we do not think twice about it. This is not a win or lose situation.
Sunshine and Happiness Always xxx
You are an incredible human being and so brave. My 15yr daughter is suffering and I showed her this video and it has helped tremendously- thank you xx
Your bravery and candidness brought as tear to my eye and will help so many others take the first step in reaching out for help. I understand and know personally exactly how you feel. As I battle with this every minute of every day. You are a beautiful man with a deep, empathetic soul. Take care of your sweet self.
Heyo, I still don't feel brave enough or confident enough to go back to the doctors or to go to therapy but it so nice to hear you explain how you feel and see you taking care of yourself and it helps me feel a little bit better sometimes knowing that others struggle simply asking for help too.
I lay in bed all night barraging myself with how worthless & pathetic I am. I, like you, have the kindness gene also sensitive to the bone. Ppl tell me to grow a thick skin but it's not the way I'm made I FEEL it all. Also tinkering on the idea of medication but I'm even afraid of that. Thank you for your honesty Mark we all need a little more kindness in the world 💓
The kind people ( me included) have the hardest time 🥰 sending love x be kind but to yourself first even if it means cutting people out of your life .
I have just come off my medication after nearly 6 years. Was very hard. But am glad I did. I really felt fuzzy and not with it. Now feel so much better. Take care Mark. Dont feel bad or anything. Sometimes we really do need help .
Such a great post Mark. Sometimes we just have to stop struggling on our own, put our hands and say “I think I need a little help here” I hope you can get a bit of relief after taking the first step-you should be very proud of yourself! 🌞🌻
Mark I totally get what you are saying and going through I’m on antidepressants for life as when I’ve come off of them I can’t cope , you should be very proud of yourself for speaking about what you’ve been through and have been going through the last few weeks and you have so inspired me today listening to you depression and addiction are a very hard thing to go through, it’s all the different emotions that go with this illness and so hard to pull yourself out of sometimes, you have a wonderful and supportive family so in that way you are blessed I’ve had no support from mine only one very good friend and a wonderful GP and I have survived and feel I’m a better person for what I’ve been through, you are a very caring and kind human being Mark and thank you for this vlog it has touched me in a very positive way ❤️❤️
Thanks for this Mark. It Resonates. My daughter has suffered all her twenties (shes 28 now). Robbed of her youth. Sending lots of love ❤️xxx
Thank you for posting this. I have been working on my mental health for over 14 years. I also do not like taking antidepressants, (even though I do), as it feels like giving in somehow. I have been experiencing crippling health anxiety over the past year so I am now going to some group sessions for talking therapy. Still not sure if that is helping or not. Luckily, I have three gorgeous teenagers who keep me active. I have used my own experiences to talk to them to make sure they are confident and have as much self-esteem as possible. My husband is also amazing. He has a naturally positive mindset so he doesn't always understand how my brain works, but he constantly supports me through all my bouts of low mood swings. I have also opened up a bit at work. That was difficult but I work with children and I think that talking about these issues is so important. The stigma around mental health problems needs to be removed. Your vlogs really help. It is reassuring to know that I am not the only person who feels this way. I also really appreciated Nadia talking about her experiences of the menopause. It has helped me understand some of the symptoms I am going through. Thank you both.
You are fantastic you helping so many with her honesty love you and family your brilliant