Honestly considering everything, the animation isn't THAT bad. If anything, it's about the most salvageable part of the whole experience (along with the voicework), hence why there are so much YTP that uses them.
As bad as all of these consoles were, this video really does have me missing those really over the top 90s console game commercials where they were willing to hit you in the face with insane amounts of drum n bass or treat their consoles like old school movie monsters because by God at least it was unique.
Having to buy not just a subscription (IIRC) but also buy the games afterwards was bad, yeah, but other streaming sites (movies, series etc) do that as well. Personally i feel the input lag didnt help. ...and honestly im relieved it failed. The day streaming takes over the gaming industry is gonna be a dark one...
@@supervegito2277 Most don't, or at least the vast majority of their offering is included with the base subscription. Amazon is a rare exception in that, with how much needs extra payment after the Prime subscription.
@@OriginalPiMan I admit its not common, but i have seen it. I think the best implimentation is Disney Plus. That is, you can purchase a premium so you can watch the movie, before it leaves cinema. As someone who doesnt have easy access to cinemas (i need someone to drive me to the nearest one, 15km is a bit too far to walk forth and back just for a movie) there are sometimes id abuse the shit out of something like this And then you have movies that flat out dont air anywhere near me... and a premium subscription is a lot cheaper than a passport, plane ticket and hotel room. ...if only more places offered the damn things.
It wasn't just the prices, even if the prices were nice, the streaming lag on solo games was pretty bad, even worse on multiple players games, with essentially double the lag.
I can't decide which joke to make...something about phone gaming peaking with Snake or how making Link a near silent protagonist is one of the best decisions of all time.
I used to work at a Gamestop when the N-Gage came out, and one other thing I remember about the first model was that you couldn't even hold it normally when using it as a phone, since the speaker and receiver were placed lengthwise on the thin narrow side. So it looked ridiculous when you were talking on it. So yeah, it wasn't even good as a phone. They later released a newer model that addressed the issue, but it was far too late and the console was beyond saving at that point.
Yeah, I’m surprised that they failed to mention that little tidbit, I remember that quirky little oddity most of all about the N-Gage (I never had one, I was one of the smart people)!
I worked at Sega of America for ten years; the 32X came somewhere in the middle of those years, as I was transitioning from tester to producer. Everyone in Test was shaking their head when 32X games started coming in for quality control--we didn't know the downward spiral was only just beginning, but we knew consumers were going to stay away from the 32X. In droves.
That's really interesting.. I can tell you, consumers find that era of the console wars endlessly fascinating. You should offer an interview to random gaming channels until you get an interview, as many people would love to hear some inside info on what was going on in Sega at that time. It's good to know at least some people internally knew it was going to be a dumpster fire..
It's surprising that they're aren't that many books out about the console wars, especially from Sega's viewpoint. The 32X was amazingly powerful, but I've always felt that the real problem was that it was the first of many 5-8 processor systems that were hard to program. I was a huge SEGA buff, bought the 32x-cd, and that was the last time I bought a Sega.
H. Bomberguy's critique of the Intellivision Amico was amazing. But that one was straight up vaporware by a snake oil salesman, whom I am told his mother is very proud of him.
Google Stadia's big problem wasn't the prices. It was that there was no way for Google to guarantee continued access to the games you bought when you were playing them streaming and no one on the planet trusted that Stadia would be enough of a hit for it to offer continued services and access to those games. And when the concern about access got brought up to Google they just said they would definitely continue support to Stadia, trust them.
I'd even argue the biggest problem was the Stadia relied on everyone having awesome internet. If the Stadia worked for someone, it was great. If it didn't, there was nothing Google could do about it, because Google is not an ISP.
@Sailor Centauri Stadia failed due to: - The prices (subscription based AND having to download games at full price, which is idiotic and why Xbox Game Pass is a better model than Stadia) Heavy reliance on high-speed internet, which most of the world outside of South Korea doesn't have (and Stadia wasn't even good enough to do well in South Korea) - No console exclusives, thus no reason to switch to Stadia - No hardware - or software, the games - making it superior to anything else on the market - Poor marketing - Google's incompetence, arrogance and poor impression towards gamers
@@MarvinPowell1 I'd also add "And needing to buy the Stadia" on top of the subscription and download the games; XBox game Pass is also available on PC for instance. Granted it isn't THAT different from needing to buy a console, online pass for online games, and the games themselves, but even then the online passes generally have additional benefits too, and you DO have the option to forgo the online pass and just play non-online physical versions of games for the majority of them.
Watching videos about old consoles really makes you realise just how weird adverts used to be for games. Seriously, what was that N-Gage advert all about?
Erm... apparently about being abused physically, then mentally, then... somehow getting resurrected in a cemetary that has a high-rise building next to it? Because who wouldn't want a high-rise apartment or office with a splendid view of the cemetary below...?
Leading that aspirational lifestyle trifecta of "being a victim of street violence", "being a victim of sexual harassment at work" and "coming back from the dead", I think.
You know, we all know most of the histories behind these consoles, but I'd watch the OXBOX team do a video of "7 Words That Rhyme With Amburger", so here we go.
Considering I would be willing to watch Jane read a phonebook (and the wife agrees, something about the accent and the facial inflections when she talks, a very engaging speaker and presenter not what you were thinking _get yer minds out of the gutter_ ), yeah, I see that.
The Sega 32X actually has its own legacy via the Neptunia series as Neptune (the overall titular main protagonist) is the personification of the Sega Neptune, which is a two-in-one Genesis and 32X console which Sega planned to release in fall 1995, with the retail price planned to be something less than 200 US dollars. Quite interesting how a cancelled console gets to be personified in a game about games.😂💜
@@TsuikeNovaus - As of Super Neptunia RPG, Filyn is probably the last antagonist to cause any sort of war. If that game doesn’t count, then VII(R) with Kurome Ankokuboshi would be the last antagonist.🤔
@@MayDay14000 The world still works on a shares system, which is kind of the underlying concept of the Console wars. Not an actual war per se, but the idea of people pledging their loyalty to a certain console. Besides, any game after VII is just a spin off, we haven't had a mainline game since VII.
@@TsuikeNovaus - Really? Because SN RPG is considered to be a mainline game after VII(R), at least according to the wiki. Re;Birth 1 Plus and re*Verse are just remakes/enhanced versions of Re;Birth 1 for the VITA and PC, Shooter and Virtual Stars are considered as spin offs, including Ninja Wars (Collab with Senran Kagura), Top Nep, and the very recent Sisters VS Sisters. So if anything: we haven’t had a mainline game for 4 to almost 5 years now. (Since December 2018/June 2019)😵💫
My strongest memory of the Ouya was the time their twitter account tweeted a fairly poorly worded tweet announcing securing That Dragon, Cancer as an exclusive game at the time and ending it with "GET SOME". The tweet got deleted after about 15 minutes but the Ouya people got alot of stick for that at the time
@@nashvontookus7451 Yeah, even if you didn't know anything about the game beforehand, just reading the game title itself was enough to let you know the game was going to be pretty serious with the subject matter, and the tweet did call the game "powerfully moving". "GET SOME" is a phrase you'd use for a more fun and casual game, not something so personal and devestating.
Google: "Hey, let's use our enormous wealth to monopolise the video game industry without pushing it forwards by developing any new hardware or software. Presenting: The Stadia." Everyone: "... Oh, thank Christ that failed."
"And people will have to buy their games over again on it, can't take it with them to anywhere, and we can turn them off at any time! Customers will love it!"
To give it some credit, both Microsoft and Sony are pushing their own cloud streaming services. Stadia failed because Google has a long history of cancelling services, plus charging per game. Maybe if they had taken an Apple Arcade approach of offering everything under a subscription, it may have worked.
@@jardex2275 Honestly, Nvidia's is great. But the thing with all of these is that you aren't tied to them to play your games - if you have the hardware yourself, you can play them there.
According to my inflation calculator app on my phone, Jane was actually pretty damned close with her guess for the price of the Halcyon: $2,000 in 1985 money turns into $5,599.09 in 2023. Holy. Shit.
It's not bad as an emulation machine. They should of put the play store on it and made it one of the first "android boxes". I mean it's no nvidia shield or anything, but when you take out their crappy games and storefront out of the equation, you could do worse.
@@ChuckieV79 that’s true, but by the time I got my hands in one in 2017 it’s was all but done. Support had practically stopped all together and it was more than a bit of a mess. Also, as a 10th grader at the time, $50 was a lot of money to me at that point. I still have it though, sitting on my shelf of weird gaming gadgets in my game room along with a collection of knockoff GBAs a used to get form the Scholastic Book Fair at school as a kid and an N-Gage.
You can get a Raspberry Pi for about the same price and those can run a decent desktop OS. If you get the RasPi 400 it’s full on 80’s keyboard computer vibes.
I knew the Virtual Boy was going to be on this list; the Philips CDI too. I had to pause and go back to make sure I was seeing that The 7th Guest was on the Philips CDI. Not that it's surprising, but all I can think of is the chaos from Luke and Andy playing it in Hallowstream last year.
the philips cd-i reminds me of the first VCR my parents bought in the '80s which cost them an astronomical ***$500***. to give that thing credit, though, it was the first and only VCR they ever purchased because it lasted until VCRs became obsolete.
I was helping my in-laws move one time, and I stumbled across a box of VHS tapes. I told them that they should just throw it out, but they were vehemently set on keeping them. They didn’t even own a VHS tape player. I told them they don’t make or sell VHS players anymore.😂
In my late teens I stayed up far too late watching dumb stuff in TV, which meant I sometimes saw infomercials when infomercials were a new phenomenon. I remember seeing an infomercial for the CD-i three weeks in a row and I thought it was the greatest thing ever. In hindsight it realized that I was impressed because of what was new and different about that iteration, but I didn't know at the time that the execution was terrible.
Fun fact, the N-gage had several designs but they kept getting rejected. So one of the lead designers fed up with so many rejections chose to make it look like the infamous goatze picture and (un)fortunately, that was the design they approved.
Where does Jane get her jumpers? They are always fantastic This one was good it almost made it alright that I had to look at Wand of Gamelon. Almost....
I remember seeing a CD-I demo unit in a Price Club or one of those other warehouse stores and I was actually very impressed by it on a technical level. It probably helped that I didn't even have an SNES yet at the time.
Philips was a big name in home electronics at the time, which was why the were roped into consoles at all. Not a surprise that they kept a familiar aesthetic for their attempted console.
Does anyone else remember the Phantom from Infinium labs? It never came out but they were making a lot of big promises. I remember reporting from somewhere showing that the guy running the company had a habit of starting a bunch of scam companies and running them into the ground.
What about the Nuon? It was a DVD player in the early 2000s that was also secretly a game console - except for the tiny controller ports on the front, you could mistake it for just another Toshiba DVD player. it was the only way to play Tempest’s sequel, Tempest 3000 as it was an exclusive to the system.
@@petesmart1983 True - although I would argue they were trying to be the home multimedia entertainment solution before Xbox made it more of a thing in the last decade (I know both the original PS2 and Xbox could play DVD movies - I just think it didn’t become generally accepted as a option in the zeitgeist until the most recent two generations of Xbox) Did anyone here recall using their Xbox Original or PS2 for playing movies a lot?
I use to manage a vintage console collection for a convention here in the US. We had a Nuon briefly that last all of one small local event before breaking - we weren’t exactly eager to fix it, due to replacements costing at a minimum several hundred USD.
Just in case no one else has mentioned it before: you missed one of the worst botches at a console launch: the C64GS. It was basically a "consolized" C64 computer with no keyboard. It was bundled with Terminator 2, which was a direct port of the computer version, but since the game requires you to press Enter to start, the game was effectively unplayable 🤦🏻♂️
I appreciate your inclusion of the Halcyon. I've watched more videos on bad video game things from the 80-90s than I'd like to admit. But I'd never even heard of it.
I miss those fmv games. Loved them as a kid. I have to admit I definitely gave into astonishment that I was essentially playing a movie. I was young when they came out so I didn't realize that they were barely a game I just thought it was impressive.
Still more of a game that some walking simulators. We need to coin the term "experiences" for them and use it consistently, so they are never again referred to as games.
The "Ouya-only games" bit had me laughing. The sudden transition into the wonky music (Which I'll admit I wanna know what song that is actually) fit so perfectly for -one- title.
I've heard surprisingly good things about what few good Virtual Boy games there are. I have my fingers crossed for a Virtual Boy Classic Mini so I can try them myself some day, preferably with the extra effort of remastering them with more colors, though I feel like that's a pipe dream.
On the launch day for the Ouya, I saw an in-box Ouya being sold... at my local Goodwill. That should give you an idea of how it was a monumental failure.
Every time I watch a video like this of worst consoles, there is a new console in the list that I have never heard of. I have seen COUNTLESS videos about bad consoles in history, and yet this is the first I have ever heard of the Halcyon.
I can’t say the game is good but Waterworld for the SNES has an amazing soundtrack, it sounds like they got a bit of it going for the Virtual Boy version as well
Oh, I didn't realize Stadia had only failed RECENTLY. I thought it had quietly crashed and burned ages ago. Still, glad to see that the classic disasters still have a place in our hearts! A terrible, painful place.
Can you do a video titled 7 times your best friend or friend was a boss or the final boss? Five suggestions for this list is Riku from Kingdom Hearts Pixy from Ace Combat 0 The Belkan War, any Undertale character, Gunther from Fire Emblem Fates Revelation, and Edelgard,Dimitri, and/or Claude (depending on the route you choice) from Fire Emblem Three Houses.
2 consoles I want to add for that list : The Commodore 64GS and the Amstrad GX-4000. Why those 2 ? Because they were released at the same period (Dec 1990 and Sep 1990) and are both just a console variation of 8 bits computers that was 8 and 6 years old at this moment and wanted to change from cheap cassette and floppy disk games into more expensive cartdrige to play the same games... ouch.
I have a Amstrad supposedly the power supply had a issue and could fail. Also the commodore was such a flop they converted some of them back to computers.
I still have my Virtual Boy. I have tons of good memories with it. Me and my dad used to compete who could make it further in Mario Clash all the time. I still fire it up once in a while and play Mario Clash for a couple of hours (freaking love that game)
There are enough to choose from that you could do additional videos: Panasonic/Goldstar/etc 3DO Neo Geo home consoles TurboGrafx-16 (outside of Japan) AKA PC Engine and the subsequent PC-FX A bunch of Atari consoles (5200, Jaguar, Lynx) - seriously look at the monstrosity that was the Atari Jaguar "ProController" Sega (Dreamcast, Saturn) That console that Apple put out (Apple Bandai Pippin) Nintendo DD64 PlayStation (Portable, Vita)
And yet nothing on the Mattel Hyperscan. I lasted only two months in a period of two years because those two months were in between new years. And it had lesser games than the Nintendo Virtual Boy, and so, SO MANY other problems.
Also, Doom Resurrection proves the 32X is a lot more powerful than this video's writer thinks. But yeah, the Saturn really deserved more credit. Virtua Fighter 2 was rendering in a higher resolution than the PS1 ever would, and before Tekken 2. Who knows what it could have done, if anyone could have tapped into its full potential.
@@petesmart1983 One thing Sega never lacked was advertising. The only reason they eventually stopped hyping the Saturn here in the states was because they'd given up on it. (No idea how things went in regards to advertising elsewhere.)
Where’s the Commodore console? Why wasn’t it on the list? It probably sold worse than any of these. Granted, it was actually just a C64 in a new shell. But you couldn’t even play the pack in game due to a missing button.
I'm afraid it doesn't even give us that. Link's "excuuuse me princess" catchphrase (if you can call it that) originated in the Legend of Zelda episodes of the Super Mario Brothers Super Show which aired in 1989. So CDI Zelda is even more worthless than it appeared.
Whoever had the idea to hardcut from Jane saying "unless the Phillips CD-i was a massive failure as well." to CD-i Link going "YEAH!" deserves a bonus and a raise.
You guys have been playing the wrong Philips CD-I games! My grandparents still have a working phillips CD-I. It had games like Lingo, a platformer about a guy who ate candy and burped, a game about dino's where you had to solve dino puzzles or watch Dutch city's get wrecked by dinosaurs because you were beaten to it by a flying brain and a platformer of a wizard.
Okay but I am REALLY liking that little snippet of the Virtual Boy Waterworld game soundtrack at 7:05 EDIT: Having come back to the rest of the video later can I also give a shout-out to what I will forever refer to as Bob Ross Tetris at 15:45 . Happy little t-spins.
5:41 you know, I actually have memories of this in the early 90s and I thought those memories were some kind of fever dream until you just verified their integrity.
Here’s another dumb failure of a videogame console: Mattel’s Hyperscan. The console had a scanner that was designed to read data from special cards, but it barely worked. It didn’t help that you needed to scan cards for everything from selecting characters to performing special moves.
I don't know how it took me so long to notice Mike's graying hair, but I am absolutely loving it! Always been a fan of natural gray. Mine's starting to look the same way, and I'm hoping I'll eventually have the same pure silver my mom has when she doesn't dye her hair.
Google Stadia was pretty good. But once my console could do the same thing, stadia wasn't needed. They gave us cloud gaming on Xbox and playstation, though, and I'll always thank them for that.
PS Now and Nvidia both had cloud gaming over four years before Stadia came out, though. And MS had announced it for the Xbox before Google announced Stadia
While I never had a Virtual Boy (the only Nintendo console up to the original Wii I never owned as a kid), one of my cousins did so I did get to play it. And promptly throw up from the resulting motion sickness. I couldn't play it for longer than five minutes at a go before I had to stop due to nausea, so I couldn't tell you how good or bad the games my cousin had were. I'm so glad it made this list.
I aspire to be an animator, and every time I feel bad about my skills I literally tell myself "remember CD-I Link" and then I feel better
Honestly considering everything, the animation isn't THAT bad. If anything, it's about the most salvageable part of the whole experience (along with the voicework), hence why there are so much YTP that uses them.
Jane's set-up for the CDI was just *chef's kiss*
As bad as all of these consoles were, this video really does have me missing those really over the top 90s console game commercials where they were willing to hit you in the face with insane amounts of drum n bass or treat their consoles like old school movie monsters because by God at least it was unique.
BLAST PROCESSING!
Pretty sure that era of adverts ended with the OG Xbox "Life is short" ad
yeah i'm stunned that Nintendo got freaking Don LaFontaine to promote the Virtual Boy
Perfect examples of the EXTREME fad in 90’s advertising 🙄
Perfect examples of the EXTREME fad in 90’s advertising 🙄
If you are sad about these disasters, may this video console you.
Boooooooo 😂
@@katfromthekong414 boo
You forgot the badum tsss
@@Daedje ba-dum tsss
👏👏👏😆
Stage whisper "It was the prices." Mike you just made my day! 🤣😂👏
Having to buy not just a subscription (IIRC) but also buy the games afterwards was bad, yeah, but other streaming sites (movies, series etc) do that as well.
Personally i feel the input lag didnt help.
...and honestly im relieved it failed. The day streaming takes over the gaming industry is gonna be a dark one...
@@supervegito2277
Most don't, or at least the vast majority of their offering is included with the base subscription. Amazon is a rare exception in that, with how much needs extra payment after the Prime subscription.
@@OriginalPiMan I admit its not common, but i have seen it.
I think the best implimentation is Disney Plus.
That is, you can purchase a premium so you can watch the movie, before it leaves cinema. As someone who doesnt have easy access to cinemas (i need someone to drive me to the nearest one, 15km is a bit too far to walk forth and back just for a movie) there are sometimes id abuse the shit out of something like this
And then you have movies that flat out dont air anywhere near me... and a premium subscription is a lot cheaper than a passport, plane ticket and hotel room.
...if only more places offered the damn things.
It wasn't just the prices, even if the prices were nice, the streaming lag on solo games was pretty bad, even worse on multiple players games, with essentially double the lag.
Regardless of how bad the Philip's CD-i really is, at least it gives us the goldmine of the YTP memes.
_"I hope she made lotsa spaghetti."_
Based
“MAH BOY” and “SQUADALA, WE ARE OFF!!!” are my favorites xD
The Zelda games for the CD-i were as funny as they were bad.
@@deathbykonami5487 If a game is seen as bad, it's much better if it's "so bad it's good!" rather than "so bad it's horrible".
Hotel Mario? Wand of Gamelon? Faces of Evil? You want it? It's yours, my friend, as long as you have enough rubies.
I laughed out loud at the transition to #7. Great comedic timing.
13:46 _I mean, unless the Philips CD-I was a massive failure as well_
Man, that Zelda game is cursed. *Cursed* !
I can't decide which joke to make...something about phone gaming peaking with Snake or how making Link a near silent protagonist is one of the best decisions of all time.
I used to work at a Gamestop when the N-Gage came out, and one other thing I remember about the first model was that you couldn't even hold it normally when using it as a phone, since the speaker and receiver were placed lengthwise on the thin narrow side. So it looked ridiculous when you were talking on it. So yeah, it wasn't even good as a phone. They later released a newer model that addressed the issue, but it was far too late and the console was beyond saving at that point.
The infamous "I'm holding a plastic taco to my head" pose
@@Chokah Which smartphone users nowadays do on a regular basis.
Would have made for a dank meme though
It was referred to as "side talking"
Yeah, I’m surprised that they failed to mention that little tidbit, I remember that quirky little oddity most of all about the N-Gage (I never had one, I was one of the smart people)!
Wow.... I'm gonna have nightmares about that Zelda CD-I game. I've never actually seen it in motion before
Arin of the Game Grumps has nightmares of that game... because he actually played it using the remote controller, so his nightmares might be worse.
If I remember correctly, once you get to the end of the game and face off against the main villain, it only takes one easy sword swipe to kill him.
@@3rdalbum You're almost right. You have to throw the wand at him. Of course, it's equally as anticlimactic.
It's amazing you've been on gaming videos on TH-cam and having been flooded by cdi memes
I worked at Sega of America for ten years; the 32X came somewhere in the middle of those years, as I was transitioning from tester to producer. Everyone in Test was shaking their head when 32X games started coming in for quality control--we didn't know the downward spiral was only just beginning, but we knew consumers were going to stay away from the 32X. In droves.
That's really interesting.. I can tell you, consumers find that era of the console wars endlessly fascinating. You should offer an interview to random gaming channels until you get an interview, as many people would love to hear some inside info on what was going on in Sega at that time. It's good to know at least some people internally knew it was going to be a dumpster fire..
Man, I would do anything to trade places with you!
It's surprising that they're aren't that many books out about the console wars, especially from Sega's viewpoint. The 32X was amazingly powerful, but I've always felt that the real problem was that it was the first of many 5-8 processor systems that were hard to program. I was a huge SEGA buff, bought the 32x-cd, and that was the last time I bought a Sega.
H. Bomberguy's critique of the Intellivision Amico was amazing. But that one was straight up vaporware by a snake oil salesman, whom I am told his mother is very proud of him.
Oof
I think they did eventully released that console and it was (unsurprisingly) a complete and utter disaster.
That video was one of the best secret rabbit holes I never knew I wanted
"the person who stole credit from most video game sound designers"
He also did a video on the Halcyon and the "real" genius behind Dragon's Lair.
Just want to thank whoever wrote 'cellphone self-own'. Smashed it.
Google Stadia's big problem wasn't the prices. It was that there was no way for Google to guarantee continued access to the games you bought when you were playing them streaming and no one on the planet trusted that Stadia would be enough of a hit for it to offer continued services and access to those games. And when the concern about access got brought up to Google they just said they would definitely continue support to Stadia, trust them.
I'd even argue the biggest problem was the Stadia relied on everyone having awesome internet. If the Stadia worked for someone, it was great. If it didn't, there was nothing Google could do about it, because Google is not an ISP.
@Sailor Centauri
Stadia failed due to:
- The prices (subscription based AND having to download games at full price, which is idiotic and why Xbox Game Pass is a better model than Stadia)
Heavy reliance on high-speed internet, which most of the world outside of South Korea doesn't have (and Stadia wasn't even good enough to do well in South Korea)
- No console exclusives, thus no reason to switch to Stadia
- No hardware - or software, the games - making it superior to anything else on the market
- Poor marketing
- Google's incompetence, arrogance and poor impression towards gamers
That's not true in the slightest, otherwise every cloud streaming service would be dead.
@@MarvinPowell1 I'd also add "And needing to buy the Stadia" on top of the subscription and download the games; XBox game Pass is also available on PC for instance. Granted it isn't THAT different from needing to buy a console, online pass for online games, and the games themselves, but even then the online passes generally have additional benefits too, and you DO have the option to forgo the online pass and just play non-online physical versions of games for the majority of them.
@@sinteleon You don't even need a PC. I installed the Xbox app directly on my TV, bluetoothed an Xbox controller to it and off I went
“You could have a thrash metal ukulele concert in Antarctica and get a better turnout” is giving Pitbull performing in Alaska
Watching videos about old consoles really makes you realise just how weird adverts used to be for games. Seriously, what was that N-Gage advert all about?
Erm... apparently about being abused physically, then mentally, then... somehow getting resurrected in a cemetary that has a high-rise building next to it? Because who wouldn't want a high-rise apartment or office with a splendid view of the cemetary below...?
They interpreted the phrase “all publicity is good publicity” very differently back then xD
I’m clearly a mark because I was honestly intrigued
read my mind. thought it was an abuse psa at first n then ngage popped up
Leading that aspirational lifestyle trifecta of "being a victim of street violence", "being a victim of sexual harassment at work" and "coming back from the dead", I think.
That Jaguar commercial with the woman who seems to be having an aneurism trying to explain bits..... classic
You know, we all know most of the histories behind these consoles, but I'd watch the OXBOX team do a video of "7 Words That Rhyme With Amburger", so here we go.
Considering I would be willing to watch Jane read a phonebook (and the wife agrees, something about the accent and the facial inflections when she talks, a very engaging speaker and presenter not what you were thinking _get yer minds out of the gutter_ ), yeah, I see that.
I would absolutely watch that video, if only to find out what the other six are.
Slamburger! your turn...
Damnburger!
Ramburger! …with meat from rams!
I know Mike said "undeterred", but I heard "Under Turd" and that describes Soulja Boy perfectly.
The Sega 32X actually has its own legacy via the Neptunia series as Neptune (the overall titular main protagonist) is the personification of the Sega Neptune, which is a two-in-one Genesis and 32X console which Sega planned to release in fall 1995, with the retail price planned to be something less than 200 US dollars. Quite interesting how a cancelled console gets to be personified in a game about games.😂💜
Not just a game about games, but a game series about "what if the console wars never ended?"
@@TsuikeNovaus - As of Super Neptunia RPG, Filyn is probably the last antagonist to cause any sort of war. If that game doesn’t count, then VII(R) with Kurome Ankokuboshi would be the last antagonist.🤔
nep nep
@@MayDay14000 The world still works on a shares system, which is kind of the underlying concept of the Console wars. Not an actual war per se, but the idea of people pledging their loyalty to a certain console.
Besides, any game after VII is just a spin off, we haven't had a mainline game since VII.
@@TsuikeNovaus - Really? Because SN RPG is considered to be a mainline game after VII(R), at least according to the wiki.
Re;Birth 1 Plus and re*Verse are just remakes/enhanced versions of Re;Birth 1 for the VITA and PC, Shooter and Virtual Stars are considered as spin offs, including Ninja Wars (Collab with Senran Kagura), Top Nep, and the very recent Sisters VS Sisters.
So if anything: we haven’t had a mainline game for 4 to almost 5 years now. (Since December 2018/June 2019)😵💫
That slowing heartbeat monitor motif for the N-Gage commercials is rather fitting, given how quickly it flat-lined.
I had the second generation N-Gage and I absolutely loved that device. I still miss it to this day.
My strongest memory of the Ouya was the time their twitter account tweeted a fairly poorly worded tweet announcing securing That Dragon, Cancer as an exclusive game at the time and ending it with "GET SOME". The tweet got deleted after about 15 minutes but the Ouya people got alot of stick for that at the time
Lmao, jfc…
Considering how sad that game ended up being, really a bad move on their part
@@nashvontookus7451 Yeah, even if you didn't know anything about the game beforehand, just reading the game title itself was enough to let you know the game was going to be pretty serious with the subject matter, and the tweet did call the game "powerfully moving". "GET SOME" is a phrase you'd use for a more fun and casual game, not something so personal and devestating.
Google: "Hey, let's use our enormous wealth to monopolise the video game industry without pushing it forwards by developing any new hardware or software. Presenting: The Stadia."
Everyone: "... Oh, thank Christ that failed."
Everyone except that one dude who played Red Dead Online for 6,000 hours on Stadia
"And people will have to buy their games over again on it, can't take it with them to anywhere, and we can turn them off at any time! Customers will love it!"
To give it some credit, both Microsoft and Sony are pushing their own cloud streaming services. Stadia failed because Google has a long history of cancelling services, plus charging per game. Maybe if they had taken an Apple Arcade approach of offering everything under a subscription, it may have worked.
@@jardex2275 Honestly, Nvidia's is great.
But the thing with all of these is that you aren't tied to them to play your games - if you have the hardware yourself, you can play them there.
And then charge full price for the games.
According to my inflation calculator app on my phone, Jane was actually pretty damned close with her guess for the price of the Halcyon: $2,000 in 1985 money turns into $5,599.09 in 2023. Holy. Shit.
she said 4 million, not 4 thousand
Could buy multiple mid range gaming computers 😅
Also, thats for dollars. They use a different currency, so the numbers she listed might have been more accurate to what they use.
I picked up an Ouya a while back in October. Not worth the $50 I paid even just to say “I own an Ouya.”
It's not bad as an emulation machine. They should of put the play store on it and made it one of the first "android boxes". I mean it's no nvidia shield or anything, but when you take out their crappy games and storefront out of the equation, you could do worse.
@@ChuckieV79 that’s true, but by the time I got my hands in one in 2017 it’s was all but done. Support had practically stopped all together and it was more than a bit of a mess.
Also, as a 10th grader at the time, $50 was a lot of money to me at that point.
I still have it though, sitting on my shelf of weird gaming gadgets in my game room along with a collection of knockoff GBAs a used to get form the Scholastic Book Fair at school as a kid and an N-Gage.
You can get a Raspberry Pi for about the same price and those can run a decent desktop OS. If you get the RasPi 400 it’s full on 80’s keyboard computer vibes.
Ouya really messed up with that purchase
the most entertainment I got out of the ouya was watching supergreatfriend play games on it
I knew the Virtual Boy was going to be on this list; the Philips CDI too.
I had to pause and go back to make sure I was seeing that The 7th Guest was on the Philips CDI. Not that it's surprising, but all I can think of is the chaos from Luke and Andy playing it in Hallowstream last year.
the philips cd-i reminds me of the first VCR my parents bought in the '80s which cost them an astronomical ***$500***. to give that thing credit, though, it was the first and only VCR they ever purchased because it lasted until VCRs became obsolete.
I was helping my in-laws move one time, and I stumbled across a box of VHS tapes. I told them that they should just throw it out, but they were vehemently set on keeping them. They didn’t even own a VHS tape player. I told them they don’t make or sell VHS players anymore.😂
Things were built to last back in the day. Now you look at something the wrong way and it falls apart.
In my late teens I stayed up far too late watching dumb stuff in TV, which meant I sometimes saw infomercials when infomercials were a new phenomenon. I remember seeing an infomercial for the CD-i three weeks in a row and I thought it was the greatest thing ever. In hindsight it realized that I was impressed because of what was new and different about that iteration, but I didn't know at the time that the execution was terrible.
"Ouya thinks gonna play this thing?"
Nice one, Mike
Fun fact, the N-gage had several designs but they kept getting rejected.
So one of the lead designers fed up with so many rejections chose to make it look like the infamous goatze picture and (un)fortunately, that was the design they approved.
it's even got the ring
Do I even want to know what that is?
"The Gross Meme that Inspired a Game Console" - Larry Bundy Jr
@@aardbei54 it's a man spreading his 🍑-hole, VERY graphic. I felt like I heard that before, but forgot, so I just made the mistake to google it
"A hefty £300 price tag" thanks Andy for reminding us how life used to be somewhat affordable
6:29 Jane raising a single eyebrow like that needs to be in every review
You guys really had a lot of fun with this one. Definitely one of my favourites!
That segue into the Philips CD-I is absolute gold 👏👏
Those CD-I Zelda games had one redeeming quality. All the TH-cam Poop videos.
After you've scrubbed all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy!
Where does Jane get her jumpers?
They are always fantastic
This one was good it almost made it alright that I had to look at Wand of Gamelon.
Almost....
I find myself coming back to this video a lot because Andy roasting Elon is one of my favorite jokes made on this channel
Why is that,Musk let everyone speak so he must be destroyed. FREE SPEECH FOR ALL
@@bababooey5654What about Andy's free speech to say that Elon isn't funny or likeable?
I remember seeing a CD-I demo unit in a Price Club or one of those other warehouse stores and I was actually very impressed by it on a technical level. It probably helped that I didn't even have an SNES yet at the time.
When the Virtual Boy segment started I quickly clocked the Waterworld SNES soundtrack 😂
Props for including it!
That Philips CD-i looks awfully similar to a VHS-recorder my grandparents had. It even has the exact same style of buttons.
Philips was a big name in home electronics at the time, which was why the were roped into consoles at all. Not a surprise that they kept a familiar aesthetic for their attempted console.
The Ouya might not have been a good console, but I did like its role in Detective Heart of America: The Final Freedom
Does anyone else remember the Phantom from Infinium labs? It never came out but they were making a lot of big promises. I remember reporting from somewhere showing that the guy running the company had a habit of starting a bunch of scam companies and running them into the ground.
It hit deep when he said, being a teenager asking for a PS1 for Christmas. Only to get a Sega CD.
What about the Nuon? It was a DVD player in the early 2000s that was also secretly a game console - except for the tiny controller ports on the front, you could mistake it for just another Toshiba DVD player. it was the only way to play Tempest’s sequel, Tempest 3000 as it was an exclusive to the system.
Nuon was never marketed as a video game console, although could play games it was aimed as advanced dvd player
@@petesmart1983 True - although I would argue they were trying to be the home multimedia entertainment solution before Xbox made it more of a thing in the last decade (I know both the original PS2 and Xbox could play DVD movies - I just think it didn’t become generally accepted as a option in the zeitgeist until the most recent two generations of Xbox) Did anyone here recall using their Xbox Original or PS2 for playing movies a lot?
I use to manage a vintage console collection for a convention here in the US. We had a Nuon briefly that last all of one small local event before breaking - we weren’t exactly eager to fix it, due to replacements costing at a minimum several hundred USD.
Just in case no one else has mentioned it before: you missed one of the worst botches at a console launch: the C64GS. It was basically a "consolized" C64 computer with no keyboard. It was bundled with Terminator 2, which was a direct port of the computer version, but since the game requires you to press Enter to start, the game was effectively unplayable 🤦🏻♂️
Jane halcyon would like to remind you their console may not be the best choice but it is spacers choice.
Underrated comment
I wish they knew about the Zeebo. The Ouya was a marvel of technology compared to it
Zeebo, the pride of Brazil! But Zeebo at least had Resident Evil 4.
As someone who would have put money down on Google stadia failing, that was a funny opening and this was a funny video
I appreciate your inclusion of the Halcyon. I've watched more videos on bad video game things from the 80-90s than I'd like to admit. But I'd never even heard of it.
There's an Hbomberguy video about Dragon's Lair that also goes into it, if you want to know more :-)
If they didn't mention the Souljagame, I would have.
Soulja Boy all over this video trying to get his next "console" idea... 😂😂
Thanks for mentioning the Ngauge. I remember the adverts but couldn't remember what it was actually for.
I miss those fmv games. Loved them as a kid. I have to admit I definitely gave into astonishment that I was essentially playing a movie. I was young when they came out so I didn't realize that they were barely a game I just thought it was impressive.
Still more of a game that some walking simulators. We need to coin the term "experiences" for them and use it consistently, so they are never again referred to as games.
@@rissaarei5336 right
The "Ouya-only games" bit had me laughing. The sudden transition into the wonky music (Which I'll admit I wanna know what song that is actually) fit so perfectly for -one- title.
I've heard surprisingly good things about what few good Virtual Boy games there are. I have my fingers crossed for a Virtual Boy Classic Mini so I can try them myself some day, preferably with the extra effort of remastering them with more colors, though I feel like that's a pipe dream.
On the launch day for the Ouya, I saw an in-box Ouya being sold... at my local Goodwill.
That should give you an idea of how it was a monumental failure.
_Oof_
Or at least how disgusted it's previous owner was.
Every time I watch a video like this of worst consoles, there is a new console in the list that I have never heard of. I have seen COUNTLESS videos about bad consoles in history, and yet this is the first I have ever heard of the Halcyon.
I can’t say the game is good but Waterworld for the SNES has an amazing soundtrack, it sounds like they got a bit of it going for the Virtual Boy version as well
Jane's sweater almost looks like there's 2 snow leopards eating her arms 😂🤘🏼
The Phillips CDi was the first games console I owned as a 3 year old, and somehow I wasn't put off for life
Oh you poor soul
Oh, I didn't realize Stadia had only failed RECENTLY. I thought it had quietly crashed and burned ages ago. Still, glad to see that the classic disasters still have a place in our hearts! A terrible, painful place.
"We don't make jokes about Virtual Boy. _It's listening."_
- Reggie Fils-Aime
I love Mike's Cyborg 009 shirt. I used to love that anime.
Same!
Just waiting for all the deets on the Ouya again. After all these years it’s still sort of astounding.
Everything about it is just cursed.
Ah Ngage - seeing Tomb Raider in person away from a TV set in about 2002/3 was pretty revolutionary.
old game console commercials were wild! lol
I still remember the Amiga CD32 console that also didn't make it. But they had a few nice games there, like Inherit the Earth: Quest for the Orb.
Can you do a video titled 7 times your best friend or friend was a boss or the final boss? Five suggestions for this list is Riku from Kingdom Hearts Pixy from Ace Combat 0 The Belkan War, any Undertale character, Gunther from Fire Emblem Fates Revelation, and Edelgard,Dimitri, and/or Claude (depending on the route you choice) from Fire Emblem Three Houses.
I'm pretty sure at least one Final Fantasy-Title would fit that bill too
2 consoles I want to add for that list : The Commodore 64GS and the Amstrad GX-4000.
Why those 2 ? Because they were released at the same period (Dec 1990 and Sep 1990) and are both just a console variation of 8 bits computers that was 8 and 6 years old at this moment and wanted to change from cheap cassette and floppy disk games into more expensive cartdrige to play the same games... ouch.
I have a Amstrad supposedly the power supply had a issue and could fail. Also the commodore was such a flop they converted some of them back to computers.
I still have my Virtual Boy. I have tons of good memories with it. Me and my dad used to compete who could make it further in Mario Clash all the time. I still fire it up once in a while and play Mario Clash for a couple of hours (freaking love that game)
To be honest, I only know about the Virtual Boy because of Luigi’s Mansion 3: you communicate with E.Gadd through the Virtual Boo
@@madisonlecong6083 i freaked when I saw the Virtual Boy in LM3. I love how they gave it love in that game, even though it wasn't hugely popular
There are enough to choose from that you could do additional videos:
Panasonic/Goldstar/etc 3DO
Neo Geo home consoles
TurboGrafx-16 (outside of Japan) AKA PC Engine and the subsequent PC-FX
A bunch of Atari consoles (5200, Jaguar, Lynx) - seriously look at the monstrosity that was the Atari Jaguar "ProController"
Sega (Dreamcast, Saturn)
That console that Apple put out (Apple Bandai Pippin)
Nintendo DD64
PlayStation (Portable, Vita)
Lol psp really? That sold 88 mill. That is more then a lot of popular consoles. It was a great handheld. Vita failed but wasn’t that bad either
Some other consoles I would consider for such consideration:
Apple Pippin 2
3DO
Tiger R-Zone
Atari 5200
Oric One (more an old gaming PC, but hey)
Pippin!
And yet nothing on the Mattel Hyperscan. I lasted only two months in a period of two years because those two months were in between new years. And it had lesser games than the Nintendo Virtual Boy, and so, SO MANY other problems.
It is sad to see these systems fail, but it's important!
Every failure gives a good lesson!
Also, the Sega Saturn was amazing!
Also, Doom Resurrection proves the 32X is a lot more powerful than this video's writer thinks.
But yeah, the Saturn really deserved more credit. Virtua Fighter 2 was rendering in a higher resolution than the PS1 ever would, and before Tekken 2.
Who knows what it could have done, if anyone could have tapped into its full potential.
Saturn is one of my fave consoles and has alot of great games but sadly Sega's lack of marketing and advertising killed themselves
@@petesmart1983
One thing Sega never lacked was advertising.
The only reason they eventually stopped hyping the Saturn here in the states was because they'd given up on it. (No idea how things went in regards to advertising elsewhere.)
Where’s the Commodore console? Why wasn’t it on the list? It probably sold worse than any of these. Granted, it was actually just a C64 in a new shell. But you couldn’t even play the pack in game due to a missing button.
The 90s... You gotta love the 90s.
Still better than the 60s and 70s... although the 90s did disillusion us enough come the 2000s and especially the 2010s onwards.
Was the Commodore Amiga CD32 considered as a failure?
Mike's slightly ham-fisted segue into the recommendations made me laugh 😆
Dishonourable mentions must also go to the C64GS, Amstrad GX4000 and the Amiga CD32. All 3 deserving a place on this list of shame
Myst was on everything, once I bought used a cd drive and there was a cd of Myst in it
Oh, we're revisiting this one! "7 consoles that didn't make sense even then" is one of my favourites, nice to see the premise come back.
The CD-I was worth every penny, because it brought to us the "well, excuuuuuse me princess" meme that we all love.
I'm afraid it doesn't even give us that. Link's "excuuuse me princess" catchphrase (if you can call it that) originated in the Legend of Zelda episodes of the Super Mario Brothers Super Show which aired in 1989. So CDI Zelda is even more worthless than it appeared.
@@adambooth7755 But it gave us the memes that all true warriors strive for!
no, it gave us "Come back when you're a little, mmm... richer."
What? I thought it's from Star Wars Original Trilogy?
@@adambooth7755 You are right, the infamous line came from the cartoon. The CD-I gave us other funny, not so memorable, weird Link lines.
Whoever had the idea to hardcut from Jane saying "unless the Phillips CD-i was a massive failure as well." to CD-i Link going "YEAH!" deserves a bonus and a raise.
I’m 40 years old and I loved the 32x, by the time I got rid of mine I had it totally tricked out system.
Great design with terrible timing.
You guys have been playing the wrong Philips CD-I games!
My grandparents still have a working phillips CD-I. It had games like Lingo, a platformer about a guy who ate candy and burped, a game about dino's where you had to solve dino puzzles or watch Dutch city's get wrecked by dinosaurs because you were beaten to it by a flying brain and a platformer of a wizard.
Soulja Boys "consoles" 😂😂😂
I'd genuinely like to extend a cold beer and a warm handshake to whomever came up with the pun, "Cellphone self-own"
Okay but I am REALLY liking that little snippet of the Virtual Boy Waterworld game soundtrack at 7:05
EDIT: Having come back to the rest of the video later can I also give a shout-out to what I will forever refer to as Bob Ross Tetris at 15:45 . Happy little t-spins.
5:41 you know, I actually have memories of this in the early 90s and I thought those memories were some kind of fever dream until you just verified their integrity.
Soulja Boy consoles lol
he used the cutting edge technology of chinese bootleggers and amazon :D
Here’s another dumb failure of a videogame console: Mattel’s Hyperscan. The console had a scanner that was designed to read data from special cards, but it barely worked. It didn’t help that you needed to scan cards for everything from selecting characters to performing special moves.
I will say, for the limited amount of time I could stand to play it, Warioland on the VirtuaBoy was the tits
Jacob Geller first showed me that Phillips Tetris. Background music and wow what a treasure thrilled to see it featured.
How on earth is the Gizmondo not on this list?
Because it was already on a similar list from 5 years ago called "7 Failed Consoles That Made No Sense Even Then"
Gizmondo wasn't really known and it only on sale for less than a year after the owner was arrested for being in the Mafia and declared bankruptcy
13:15 Hearing Jane refer to an American football field as a “pitch” is hilarious to me 😂
Yeah, we all remember these, we A L L remember these
I don't know how it took me so long to notice Mike's graying hair, but I am absolutely loving it! Always been a fan of natural gray. Mine's starting to look the same way, and I'm hoping I'll eventually have the same pure silver my mom has when she doesn't dye her hair.
Google Stadia was pretty good. But once my console could do the same thing, stadia wasn't needed.
They gave us cloud gaming on Xbox and playstation, though, and I'll always thank them for that.
PS Now and Nvidia both had cloud gaming over four years before Stadia came out, though. And MS had announced it for the Xbox before Google announced Stadia
While I never had a Virtual Boy (the only Nintendo console up to the original Wii I never owned as a kid), one of my cousins did so I did get to play it. And promptly throw up from the resulting motion sickness. I couldn't play it for longer than five minutes at a go before I had to stop due to nausea, so I couldn't tell you how good or bad the games my cousin had were. I'm so glad it made this list.