"Break Up if this happens.." - Matthew Hussey
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ต.ค. 2024
- "Break Up if this happens.." - Matthew Hussey #shorts
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Hello how are you doing
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Never fall for someone's potential, it might never materialize
Exactly ❤! I took a psychology class where the professor said we should look at a person’s potential. I argued that wasn’t a good idea. Someone could say, “ I want to become a lawyer.” If they haven’t left the couch in 5 years, it likely won’t happen.
@@stellawil Yes, words alone don't mean anything if actions don't follow
Yesss learnt that the hard way 🙌
@@MLank1179 you learned and that’s what counts! ❤️💯 Here’s to blessings coming your way!
wow Thankyou this is something I havnt heard
Leaving this comment here, so whenever somebody likes it I'll be reminded again.
Got you bro 🙏
Be reminded 🤗 I need it too 😒
TH-cam doesn’t tell you when someone likes your comment though
@@shookn nope
He's right. If it's unfixable, leave. There are no gold stars in heaven for suffering.
the greatest things come out of suffering. But you can not rely on your happyniss by somebody or something.
@@Jervdbur don’t condone abusive behaviour
very nicely said
@@musicgal9830 dont be the victim be the survivor?
That’s because you become the star when your suffering ends ❤
Don’t keep someone that doesn’t want to keep you.
The hardest part is breaking up with someone that is not sure about the relationship and you still want to fight for it. After 10 years being in a relationship I ended it. You will learn that with time you’re pain will heal, and that self love is the most important part. You will find yourself and a new love again…
I am coming to realize this ,it's scary and painful
The thing that hurts the most is when you chase them and you realize that you’ve lost yourself and also lost them with the incessant running after them.
are you a man or a woman
Same as my current situation
We broke up because of her parents and we were also young and not financially stable so when we broke up we told each other to mature and grow and txt and call from time to time
But when she moved on she never told me when she had all the chance to
I found out this september and it hurts you because all those months i never wanted to replace her or let her go i was building and growing slowly but surely and so was she....
So i beg and pleaded and try all i can to make us work and save our relationship of 9 years...
She said she is confused and she call and txt me everyday and i cant let her go i still love her and its hard i dont know what to do...
This is me now. Broke up with someone who is constantly unsure of us. I just could not keep fighting for us or try to make this work while he was just doubtful and unsure. Mentally I understand it's the best decision but my heart is broken into millions of pieces. Please tell me a year later after your comment it gets better.
People change people grow, I truly believe that in my 25 years, I have been in multiple relationships with one man. I have loved all the versions of the man in those relationships because each time we both just get a better and stronger. Here’s to 25 more!!!
Any breakups during or before marriage with that same man?
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greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing👋
This is on🎯 10 years in and i can relate ,multible relationship's with one man. Well Said 🩷
Has he ever cheated ?
Nearly 12 years, my ex was a narc and emotionally unavailable man. He changed a little bit over time but never close to meet my needs, I felt dead inside and decided to give up. When I talked to my family they told me to keep trying because I already been with him that long but I told them I don't want to die with regret.
I wonder if that's what my ex thinks as well, I've been broken for almost 5 months now.
@@MonkeyDLuffy60073 I'm sorry but which side are you in the story?
Don't be scared of new possibilities of experience in life..
I feel the same im 20 years in, and I'm done aways you give and give.
@@LittleBambi777 you have done the best decision on your life. It does not matter if you know that person for how long. If that said relationship is not doing any good for your mental health and sanity. Just let go. Saving the relationship with only one person doing the work while the other is just sitting and does nothing. Is like digging your own grave every single day. I had similar story with you, so I know how it felt to be in a relationship with a self-narcissistic individual.
He is putting my mistake in words, he is 100 percent correct. Imagining and hoping and not accepting the truth of the moment can result in pain. I wish I had this emotional guidance about a decade ago.
Same. Oh how I wish I had this advice 10 years ago. You’re not alone. Sending you well wishes as you navigate this!
It’s called COMMITMENT. You go through ups and downs with your life partner ( which I think he is talking about). What we don’t emphasize enough in this society is our first commitment is to ourselves. If we are constantly unhappy, we made need to break our commitment to that life partner,
💯 true, I started looking at my partner like he was my forever and realised I didn’t want that and left
That's the problem w all you women
Just don't forget of the concept of inter-dependence. When both partners are truly committed to improving the relationship by improving themselves to have more harmonious fit, they will change toward each other, not grow apart. But it takes a lot of insight and respect for interpersonal differences to use them as strengths, not vices.
Very well said.
Wow dope
100 agree, it’s about working together on each other issues rather than running from them and yes it takes 2 dedicated individuals.
Also avoidance is the most destructive way to inner peace…
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Well said. No sex before marriage. Get to know them intimately in a non sexual manner. This weeds out all the "wrong" partners and allows you to keep your dignity and self respect in tact until you meet your person.
Still doesn't work. 2 virgins in a non-sexual relationship until the wedding night, doesn't always work. They still ended up having affairs for 20 years. There's no human being on earth is that 100% faithful in mind body and spirit. There's too many ways around that and only harbors secrets that will one day always come to light. Human nature is primal nature. It's instinct and survival of the strongest genetics
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True words❤
@@maryl9180 love/marrg/loving touch daily wth that one sx attachment etc, = love/marrg marrd life couples. No dffrnce
God designed it that way. Life works better when we obey God.
I'm in a relationship with myself. For the long haul. So much better.
Same here❤❤
True!!!! Stop wasting your time on someone that’s not equal to you!!!
Instinct is most often a life saver. Your heart can feel all
that!
Yes. My gutt told me something was off. I didn't listen so the break up was very painful
Wow, this is excellent advice! I was in a marriage for 28 years. Whenever I talked about leaving (with the kids) he promised he’d be a better husband, but he never changed. He finally moved out when he met a woman & they clicked. I’ve now been single for a good number of years but I won’t settle for less than what I deserve. Been there. Done with that. Yes, I get lonely at times but God knows the kind of man I’d like to have in my life. I have to keep moving forward with my life. I’m still hoping I’ll get a good man sometime. Thank you Matt for all the great advice you give us!
If you are 55+ years old with kids. Just give up. Men nowadays aren’t worth it unless they have money.
How have you been ? Did you meet someone. Wish you all the best. And God bless you and your children ❤
Hang on to the Lord -HE has right man for you-get ready he's going to be here soon!❤ 🙏
The greatest weapon of the narcissist is to make you believe that this is who they really are at the beginning and that is who they will be throughout the relationship. Ugh!
But the easiest way to see a narcissist from meeting them and first few dates is if they love bomb you, gift bomb you, say so many heavy handed lovey dovey you're my world type compliments, saying I want to marry you (commitment type comments too early) and if they're talking about achievements they've done without any results to show for it.
Those are the flags the narcissist can't resist showing immediately in the first 2 months. First 2 months are always explosive, infatuating, always at 100, lustful. Don't let the honeymoon fireworks cloud your discernment.
That’s exactly how I felt about my ex. Now we separated but I was living in a fantasy. I was looking at the potential of us 😅 but the reality was different. I’m happy I am seeing things clearly and happy after 3 years being together I put a stop to it and I am trying to move on. It was hard to accept the reality at first, after you take the right decision and your not scary
It’s a relief . Be brave people we only have one life ❤
You just hit a nerve… the potential of our relationship… and the idiot would rather be almost homeless.
Took me a long time…I kept hoping for the potential, the reality almost destroyed me. Still crawling back 6 months later.
@@sharonhorwitz7903 they have a way to make you feel like they care no matter what’s happening, but they don’t. Move on with your life. Search the concept trauma bonding do some therapy, meditation , exercise definitely helped me . Hope you find a way sending healing energy 💪🏻❤️
@@lorrieudrea7496 - I’m an expert on trauma bonding😜…never heard of any of this psycho babble before last year.
Just came back from a spa in St Lucia …the next step to “ normalcy” .
At 68, I never heard of this BS and still can’t believe the world is full of so many lunatics, and I found the King! 😘
Just happened to me. My gf of 3 years. I kept idealizing it and looking at the potential and chasing and chasing and chasing, losing myself in the process. But the reality wasn’t there. I’m heart broken but I have hope that it’s for the better.
✨"A different relationships with the same person " Love it ✨
Aaaammmmeeeeennnnnn! I held on to a two yr relationship two yes two fucking long. This dude only wanted me to make himself look better. He was absolutely the worst thing that ever happened to me and believe me when I say staying in a bad relationship is literally the worst thing you can do to yourself. You will destroy your health staying with the wrong person. If you even have to question if that person is really the one for you they’ are not. GET OUT. You won’t question the one for you. You will know.
This is so true. My health is ruined. At first I suffered mentally and underestimated what I could tolerate until my body started suffering. I ignored all the signs when my body was telling me no more. Now I’m a recluse.. I’m trying to focus on my health and get stronger so I can end things with the Narc. It just seems so surreal I thought I was dreaming, now I realise it was a nightmare yet I’m still in it. Every day is a battle. I’m so exhausted now I don’t engage, don’t react if I can help it, and don’t argue. It’s like I don’t know who I am anymore.. people assume it’s so easy to just walk away from abuse especially when it’s a so called marriage. I feel like I’ve been conned and I feel like an idiot for being fooled.
@@Kiwi--nk6dq it's never easy but you need to get out before it's too late! Get help if you need to but leave as soon as possible!!
@@Kiwi--nk6dq can you get into therapy at least every 2 weeks? They can help you plan and also validate how you feel which is important af - if you don’t feel seen at all you could slip too deeply into sadness and if your body isn’t strong it can get bad. Hold on 💗
I just broke up with my boyfriend and feel terrible and i am not sure if i've made the right decision. However, i was constantly questioning if he was the right one for me. I hope that the fact that i was questioning it over and over is really a confirmation that it was not the right one.
@@Kiwi--nk6dqI can totally relate to this...and I hope that after a year things have gotten better for you, but if not...don't give up, you are definitely not alone & things will get better when the time is right 🙏💚🙏
The hardest part tho is moving on it’s hard to think you could ever love anyone just as much as you loved that one person but sometimes it’s what they want not what you wnat
Love that he references Esther Perel - her work is extraordinary. ❤
greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing👋
This guy is so gorgeous I just love looking at him and listening to him talk
greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing👋
He is really good giving counseling and advising … I really enjoy his thoughts ❤
You are most welcome
I wish I saw this when I was barely dating him. I'm so regretted for not seeing the red flags
I was stuck in the relationship for 11 years, it's hard
Thank you! I really needed to hear this.
greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing👋
That’s the mistake I always make-seeing a relationship as something I want to be in forever. I should just walk away
Exactly!!!
It took me so long to grab this and took the veil of my eyes...
This is exactely what I needed to hear...
He’s so good at what he does. Preach Matthew
I realized that was the truth
I really think this is dependent on the person that you’re with. If you’re in a partnership with a person who’s committed to the relationship and making it work, we all need to make concessions to accommodate the other person and the relationship. I believe that’s the only way it can work. Partnerships can expose your shortcomings and make you aware of your repeated cycles and where you’re going wrong not only in the current relationship but past relationships as well. We’re all basically in relationships with ourselves and it will never matter who the next person is because we’ll still be with ourselves. We live in a society where people are unwilling to look at themselves and always want to blame the other for the problems. This is something to be aware of. If you’re in a loving, committed relationship with a person who’s dedicated to making it work I believe you’re incredibly capable of making positive change and creating the relationship that you want. My boyfriend was a drug addict when we met, and has literally done a complete 180. He’s consistently pushing me and challenging me to be my best and we’re both rising to the occasion.
greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing👋
Agreed. Hope things are going well for yall
Pure, simple and true.
My situation is so unfulfilling. I just need to block him and walk away. Thank you!
Happy Easter 🐰🐣
So so so true!
I just broke up with her today 😞 It hurts really bad. But I already Cried to many times over her. I can't anymore with the emotional manipulation, the constant pressure and stress l know it's gonna take some time for the pain to go away but I just have to take it on the chin. And better myself, I hope she can move on also and be happy as well.
@Ikra-mw3uu I'm just taking it day by day. But I'm feeling a lil better. I was with her for 5 solid years.
I'm in similar situation, tough shit
So true, just wish the world of social media never took away her time for me.
open discussion are much needed
I Got Out When l Realized He Was Not Pouring The Same Energy and giving me the Love l Deserve
Final advice. Don't need much else.
That was awesome advice. I really needed to hear that as I am going through a really really hard break up but it’s been super hard for me let go of and I know I have to.
Your a healer Matthew. True words. The only guarantee in this school of learning that is certain is change. I'm sooo in love with the person I'm with....and that's me. It's a pure love, a true love, a joyful love, a love of bliss. I'm so grateful, because THIS US ME. 😏😁💥🔥. In all the beauty, essence, and sacredness U embody. I never thought I would love like this. You have to love yourself so much it feels like you may fly. If not how can you serve, give, and LOVE others. 🥰
This was exactly the thought I had the day I decided to leave, I was in a very one sided relationship with a very self centred man for 10 years, I tried and tried and tried communicating with him about it but nothing ever changed, I was miserable, I was sitting there one day in tears and I thought to myself, this is it, this is all my life is ever going to be and its never going to get better, do I really want to be this unhappy for the rest of my life?? The answer was no, I ended up leaving and I got my old self and my old life back and I'm the happiest I've been in a long time
As usual Mathew as much as Esther are right 🫶 much love to you both 🤍
greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing👋
@@BassamRiyad367 Hi there, I'm quite well,thank you. How are you?
@@janadubcova92 I'm good
@@janadubcova92 I'm from Dubai united Arab Emirates what about you where are you from?
It requires a lot of work to develop a good relationship. Commitment is what we need to stay. And the only way for you do all the hard work & commitment, that’s because you’re with “the one”
So truely explained
GOD Bless us all Amen ❤
This is pure wisdom 👍
Growth and we change! Change all the time!
, I have faith in you God ❣️💪🙏
With respect matthew
Amazing advice❤
Thank you so much for your teaching dear Matthew!
This is Esther with Love ❤️
My ex went to school to get her last year of her doctrine which I have heard is very hard , she asked me to wait for her and I supported her but during the 11 months that I waited she has lighted me , disrespected even wouldn’t call me at times . Before school it was great and yes I loved her and wanted that relationship but when she choose school over me and disrespected me after 11 months I gave up now she just wants to be friends and she doesn’t know when she will be done with school so I just said get ahold of me when your done and we can talk then . And I walked and am trying to move on I don’t see her coming back
Keep going, if you’re meant to be together it’ll happen eventually. If not, a memory and a lesson
Perfect, this sums it up!!!
greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing👋
Spot on 👏👏👏
greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing👋
Definitely left that situationship 💯
Very true 👍🏾
Don’t fight for love! Don’t work for a relationship! Don’t put in the effort to make a relationship! If you are unhappy for a day, a week, a month! Leave! Break up! You’ll find someone who’ll make you happy for a month, a year! And if that person makes you unhappy for a day! A week! Break up!
Wtf?! This is the shit, I’m listening to in the modern world?! Leave the relationship! That’s all that men and women have to offer?!
There is no such thing as LOVE and fighting for it anymore, because the first sign of trouble, just leave! 🤯🤦🏻♂️
3 weeks back my ex left me and he couldn't fight for our relationship. People no longer fight for love. There's no love these days
It could also be that they leave because they've realized not to deal with toxicity anymore and fighting for it is fighting to be undervalued fighting to be ignored fighting to be lied to fighting to be blamed on .. and considering that they might change.. you'd be waiting on it forever.. ppl don't change for others. And willing to stay any longer is a choice of mental peace more than willingness to fight.
This girl left me after a month because I talked about my job and "brought down her vibration". She literally talked about work for hours and I listened. I had a couple bad days and she just bounced. I really cared about her too. Her loss i guess losing someone that truly cares about her but it hurts to know she honestly never gave a f about me and fed me a bunch of BS before I told her I loved her and completely changed on me in a few days because of some stressful situations I was having. IDK how to understand what even happened honestly.
This is was I did. I got out and broke up. Yes it was the right decision and a brave thing to do. But It also meant/still means going through a tough time. And no, not everyone fully comprehends your struggle . But two steps forward and one step back is still progress.
So good!!!
greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing👋
COMMITMENT,that is the magic word .
greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing👋
Those memories haunt me always
Don’t get married unless you’re planning on this being your last relationship.
Yes. Best is to keep hopping from one relationship to another. Never settle. You're a queen!! 🙇🏻♂️
@@ROMI909you're bitter. That's not even close to what she said.
@@xxyy1318 you're right! I look back and re think about what I was thinking while writing that comment, I now realize, I wasn't in good state of mind. I most likely misunderstood it.
@@ROMI909 Super humble comment, refreshing to read. Good on ya
I listened to this as a metaphor for dating yourself at first and the message kinda hit
Why drag if you are not in it for life. You end up wasting the other's time and hurting them badly.
I realise idc about that anymore, I wanted to love them forever even if it hurts me
Same person forever..🙏🫀🫶💞
greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing👋
An evolving relationship is the ideal relationship. I just rejected something the way it was. I look for it again when it is different, if it can change.
greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing👋
I wish i tried it all to keep her
Can u message my ex same story 🖤
Thank you ❤
Ive been saying this for years... that at any given moment, your relationship is as good as it's ever going to be, moving forward. If you arent ok with that, then you need to leave, because it's only going to get worse.
Too many times, I have spent years (Per person) thinking "Oh, this is just a rut, give it a little more time and we'll be on the other side of it, in a better relationship for it." Only for it to end up with years passed and longing for how "good" things were when I first thought that it was just a bad rut.
❤❤❤NICE ADVICE SIR 👍👍👍❤️❤️❤️
greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing👋
This could've saved me 18 years
Leaving as soon as I have my money
Again, He's Right
Love this channel
greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing👋
I already left, he just doesn’t know it 🤷🏿♀️
Brutal lol
that's kinda stupid.... you clearly don't communicate at all. sounds like you're the problem in the relationship.
I feel like as woman, we do our best to communicate before leaving. We communicate our needs and the change that we want to see...at times, we gave sooo many chances annd are left with option to just leave. No more explaining.. we explained right before we even left
@@lifestylebyyoubiggest false ever said.
@@lifestylebyyoucap cap cap cap cap
Ive given up,no relationship in my life.
Yes and… It’s also called manifesting and holding positivity and light onto the highest version of them. People change every day.
And most men have no relationship in their lives
Thank you ☀️💚
I just got out of the relationship!!! 🥳🥂
Whoooohaaaa!!!
Never treat them as a pop star....
As you become a fan ......
So true 👍
this is too deep couldn't get it to my head 😩
Truth!!!
Best advise ever
Okay.. I realize fully now I have to break up... my mistake is falling in love with what this person could be in my mind... now I realize we will never fit each other's template... 😢
I just did that this morning...closed it
I’ve just broke up with the love of my life my heart is aching every day.
I hope I haven’t made the wrong decision!
how are you feeling now? also if you feel comfortable could you tell me why you decided to break up with someone you love?
Same position now
@@TheJack6966 hello ! I’m feeling so much better, because even if I love him he is not good for me
@@tovahavram7586 Hey thanks for responding! I was in the same boat when i asked that question, im feeling so much better as well!
@@nihil_3380 yeah it really sucks. you kinda just have to wait for your heart to catch up with your head < 3
Be loyal but don't be attachable just accept the flows .
This is awesome
On point 😊
I like this. I've been in a relationship w my husband by common law since 2010. It's almost been 4 years now since we've been in a broken up relationship but it actually still is a relationship. We talk once or twice a year on the internet, I still dream about him and I still learn from the time we were together LOL
Nothing is forever ♾️
This is great advice for some people. Terrible advice for others. Because if there has been great love between two people that's going through a bad patch, one of them might be easily influenced, judge the whole relationship by this moment and discard the other. I think people should be more careful with advice. I also note he said "get out" instead of "do your best to fix it, and if it can't be fixed, get out." My tuppence.
I'm 13 and I recently found out my crush for like a year straight likes me back.
I told her I like her as well and I don't really know what to do because I keep thinking that if I don't make her my gf I'll regret it deeply because she is veryyy attractive for me.
But I'm scared that if I start "dating" her that she will just lose interest in me because I'm not hot enough. Then it'll just be pointless
And I'm worried I'm ugly for her to just leave and I don't wanna risk that
Church taught this years ago. Thanks. M
greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing.