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i dont only watch videos on videos only for 4 hours much more infact certain days i can use my phone for 16 hours or 17 (in a day) which was the most xD ....
Hey I'm a new viewer of this channel you won't probably read this but I really appreciate this video. For months I tired to do what I want but I could never achieve my goals and used to resent myself but from now on I will try my very best to do better. Thank you again. May god bless you and your loved ones. Thanks once again ❤
@@sarahfromtheneverland9001 his coaching is so good it can end your life misery immediatly ... by suicide! He´s not Jesus, don´t trust his methods too much.
I hope you can see this message: I think that the way you communicate is often too pasinate and it can be percieved as aggressive or even sound like an admonishment. I think I'm probably not the only one how feels this way. My point is, you are so passionate about what you are talking about that you communicate very delicate things this way and sometimes this pasion can be percieved as aggression or as a admonishment ( a reprimand). I don't know if you get my point. I tell you this because I'm a high school teacher and I'm very passionate about what I teach and I could see myself in the mirror seeing you talking with such enthusiasm, nontheless this enthusiasm you feel can be percieved in other ways by your audience. Conclusion: I feel the message you try to deliver might mot be well sent because of too much enthusiasm. I agree with the message but not totally with the way it is delivered.
Who do we want to fool... Tomorrow we'll be here again binge watching dozens of other 'interesting' videos just like this one. Otherwise how did we get here?? God I wish I was wrong this time... But this is not the first nor the second time I bump into a video like this. And here we meet again on the conveyor belt...
I was addicted to TikTok but soon realised that I began having short attention span. So then I trained myself to consume longer contents, and that’s TH-cam videos. Now I easily waste a lot of hours here.
Lol trading one for the other eh? Well, if you had to have one or the other, it's far worse to be able to sit and watch longform content than to be zombified by TikToks to the point that you need to watch godawful side by side videos because your brain is so fucked. Not just because TikTok itself is awful, but because this is harmful to us outside of these two places. A person who struggles with TikTok is often going to have a harder time with focus on irl interactions, or maybe reading if that's something they either like, want or have to do sometimes. So now that you made one improvement, just try your best to moderate this new little vice and you'll be in an even better place.
thank you. I mean it. This reddit post relates to me exactly. I spend hours each day going back and watching for 6-7 hours, into the night. Im a 16 year old kid. Its an adiction. Last time i tride to cut it out I got depresed. What ive noticed being this adicted to watching youtube is rare, so there isnt a lot of resorses out there for this. I feel like im wasting my life. Its right now 12:30 am. I got home from school, and did no homework and ended up here. This hapens every day. Sorry for the rant and misspellings. Im only 5 mins in the video and will watch it. Thank you for encuragement.
@@mmkhperson2I’m in the same situation. I’m 15 and writing this at 2:30 in the morning on a TH-cam binge like always. I think I gradually got into this addiction and stopped noticing how much time I spend on this app every day. It is very sad because I use this app as a tool, not just for entertainment. I want to try and only use it as a tool because it can be very useful, but I have tried one time and got depressed. I hope you can get out of this addiction too.
@@mmkhperson2 im 16 I watch about the same as you 32 hours a week pretty much every week and im fine I have above average grades for my entire country. Do minimal revision/studying and do whatever homework im given pretty much immediately This is a you problem
@@mmkhperson2where all in the same boat together man! I guess my advice would be to hang out with friends more, join a club or a sports team, try a new hobby even. Basically something that is going to distract you from binge watching. The reason why TH-cam is such a problem for people like us is because the reward feeling or rather the dopamine hit requires basically zero effort. Once you start participating in activities that genuinely require at least some effort to complete, your mental stability will slowly increase making you less dependent on TH-cam for that quick hit of pleasure. At least this is what I believe to be true.
Still working? =) (And if not, no worries, here's a decent opportunity to recognise the distraction and learn from it to refocus. Remember if you go back to productivity, you're not starting from scratch, you're continuing your streak where you left off, even if it's been a week or a month or years.)
You actually just described so much of why I am depressed. I never draw anymore because I just am too tired or unmotivated. I'm passionate about it but can never get myself to do it anymore. I do the bare minimum to get by and struggle with basic daily tasks and chores.
@@Ulterior-l4k because u don't deal with your negative emotions. U supress them. Say "who cares how i feel?" and then not deal with it, but then the feeling ends up dealing with u anyway.
i think it is that our "cavemen brain" wants just to survive, not to revolutionize a field. So it rathers do stuff where there is "nothing at stake" like watching YT, or playing games rather than do the work we need ... because a part of us is like "if i do the thing (drawing/painting/music...) it may not work out, my reputation will be worse if i release it or people may make fun of me. And if I am successful,it may carry too much unwanted attention." That way doing the thing we actually want seems like a loose/loose 😅 ... so watching Netflix seems safe
I tell myself "at least it's educational", because I love to learn, but I am so aware of the fact that I'm actually just avoiding feeling my feelings and facing real life responsibilities. So reading that title just flash froze all the blood in my body...I suddenly felt naked and exposed in front of a classroom of people. Yikes, this isn't fun anymore lol
"Atleast it's educational" is my constant excuse to bengewatch youtube. Also there's some fear of missing out but probably nothing horrible wouldn't really happen I'd I would watch it 🙃 most likely it would have a good effect on my life. 🤔
TH-cam is the final sm app that I need to let go of. I’ve deleted every other app, but yt feels like I’m being productive because I’m always learning something on it. For me it’s not homework, it’s doing the dishes. I HATE doing them… and live alone and can go days once I get too busy, tired, or emotionally distressed from life…Thank you!
Something that’s been a game changer for me is wearing rubber gloves when washing dishes, I didn’t realize how much my reluctance related to sensory issues. Also I put on a YT video with a length of time I think it’ll take to do the dishes
I'm in the same boat. I have anxiety and depression and I just can't find the motivation to do it. I eventually make myself and I'm glad when it's done. I listen to things like this or music while I do it to key me company.
Well. After watching this yesterday, today I did it. Changed my attitude from "no matter how you feel, you have to do it" to checking in with myself, addressing my needs first, taking breaks, encouraging myself. Taking the compassionate approach worked. I finished and submitted two assignments I've been trying to finish for ages. This feeling is so much better than the high from scrolling. I also treated myself to two giant marshmallows. Thanks, Dr K
@@jamiedoesthings That's insane dude! You're crushing! I wanna share a little bit with you about me as well, cause I've been experimenting with a similar kind of approach/attitude change the past ~3 months and I gotta say - after struggling with staying afloat for the past 6 years in school and even failing two of my classes this may and having to change schools - I'm doing better than ever in the new school with a ~4.0-4.5 GPA and I don't feel the burnout coming even though I'm studying more than I ever have in my past 12 years of education, soo. I'm happy to rise together!
I spend about 8-12 hours per day on TH-cam trying to learn about everything because I haven't got a clear sense of purpose yet but the way to get a clear sense of purpose is to venture out of your comfort zone and get curious. Staying online all day isn't doing that. So i am going to make that effort within my limitations as a disabled individual to get out of my comfort zone.
For me binging social media or TV shows is a symptom of lack of motivation or fear for things I need to do, which stem from deeper issue like unhealthy perfectionism or self doubt. Not the other way around.
Not having to face our emotions through technology...Hm it sounds a lot like using drugs or alcohol. Its all about suppressing reality, emotions and problems. Just imagine how many of us are addicted to technology like this without even realizing it. its actually scary. Thank You for absolutely amazing video!
Yeah and another important thing is that addiction to drugs and alcohol is something very visible (and stimgatized, I'm not going to judge if it's rightfully so or not, but that's the fact) meanwhile technology addiction is so overlooked...
@@mrteco4236 Yeah of course it would be a "cherry on top" if the work also happens to be fun, but personally, sometimes it's really hard to convince yourself that work is entertaining. Especially if it is a boring office 9 to 5 work grind. And for me only a thought of reward at the end makes the work itself not exactly fun, but tolerable. Besides, I can't lie to myself, it doesn't work for me. Lying to yourself usually becomes a habit that then spreads to other aspects of life.
To all the people struggling rn, 18:30 Dr. k starts talking about something I learned very recently that lifted a lot of stress from myself. I got obsessive about trying to always feel better and be better and be healthier. But, I would never appreciate the hard work after I had done it. I would learn something new and tell myself it wasn’t enough and that I’m not healthy enough “Oh God, why is everything still painful?! Why am I still feeling bad?!?! I’ve learned so much!!” It’s because I never took the time, in my tough moments, to recognize how much closer I was to being the healthy and happy person I’ve been obsessed with becoming for so long. Don’t focus on where you want to be, aim there and focus on your every step instead because, in my experience, it did so much good to be more aware of my active efforts :). Thanks Dr.K and everyone
This is beautiful. I have become a much better/happier person (not that I wasn't before, but I felt like I entered a flow state in life) and I have recognized that, but haven't congratulated myself on that.
People tend to do things that make them feel good. Motivation comes from your brain's ability to calculate whether or something is worth doing or not. Whether or not something is worth doing or not is most of the time defined by how good it will feel to get where you're trying to go. Therefore, it makes sense that you do need to take the time to feel good about what you're doing, or else you end up where I am: Using willpower to drag yourself through the dirt that is daily life lol.
This video is hits so hard it hurts. For the past 10 years of my life I have been full blown addicted to TH-cam. The poster says 5hours...my watch history used to be 10,12+ hours a day, everyday. I started because I really struggled to make friends and socialize in school, I had a few friends but I was always jealous of people who had vibrant cliques. So I used TH-cam as parasocial relationships There was no risk of having rejection when watching people online so I was making up for feeling lonely and like an outcast. I was like...13/14 when I started, I started memorizing when people would upload in the early days. I would lie in bed for the whole day just watching TH-cam, I used to think all I needed in life was my phone, basic human needs and my wifi connection. I remember justifying it in my uni acceptance letter since I watch science TH-camrs. The internet also warps ur brain because u compare urself to like insane prodigies and lose confidence like I wanted to do art but didn't put in effort after looking online. Now that I'm in the working world I realized I missed out on YEARS of growing and relationships and is extremely blind to all things happening. I have no sense of time, and think that things take extremely long
Hey! I just wanted to let you know that you definitely aren't alone in having an early internet addiction primarily stemming from a lack of social connection. I have a very similar story to yours, except that I started at a much, much earlier age (I started from 8, yikes) and mine was moreso geared towards multiplayer games and online friendships than youtube and parasocial relationships. However, one thing I discovered when going to therapy, at least in the case of myself, is that we often retreat to the internet as a coping mechanism for high irl stressors. Was there possibly any traumatic events going on in your past while growing up? Family problems, abuse of any kind, body image issues, bad experiences socially, medical issues, mental health struggles, death of a loved one, social isolation? I feel like that although we may just chalk it up to our own personal and moral failings, there were often more factors at play that influenced our behavior. We were mere children back then after all, who tend to turtle inward into their shell when the world around them seems uncertain and shaky. I know for certain that my technology addiction stemmed from several traumatic incidents across my childhood snowballing into this monstrous ball of bad memories, and it sparked frequent crying, isolation, and social dysfunction. That was when I was most vulnerable to my addiction, and I'm wondering if you were also left more vulnerable than you thought. You may have been hurt more than you give yourself credit for, and it may have had long-lasting affects on you. I had a shitton of mental health issues, traumatic early childhood experiences, family issues, generational trauma, even personally falling out with the religion I was raised into. Naturally I had a boatload of raw copium in it's purest form to deal with, and that further fueled my need for companionship and dopamine, which I sought after through games. Playing from the second I got home from school, and it wasn't uncommon for me to get 0 hours of sleep for the next school day because I was up gaming, trying to seek comfort because I truly dreaded every school day. I was terribly fucked up mentally, and even made an attempt in my teen years. Chances are that life wasn't easy for you, and you deserve compassion.
It's insane to me that we are all now openly admitting to spending upwards of 5 hours straight in a day on TH-cam. For me, there are so many things about this in my life that, as you say at the end of the video, are simply getting out of control. That's a perfect way to put it. For me, the self loathing centers majorly around the proven (to myself) fact that I know EXACTLY what I personally need to do to be the best version of myself and to achieve or begin to achieve the goals i still manage to have somehow. It's that I'm NOT stupid or handicapped or in any way lost or unclear about what the path out of this hell looks like, where it's located and what tools i need to bring with me in order to successfully traverse it but I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO GET MYSELF TO DO LITERALLY ANYTHING some days and it is mentally EXCRUCIATING and EXHAUSTING. I am SO incredibly hyper aware of the scarcity of time and how fleeting the part of life where you are reasonably young and attractive and mobile and mentally intact is and i feel it passing by the second while at the same time i also squander so much of my time doing nothing and going nowhere and then even more time feeling like a POS because of it. I violently resisted TH-cam for many many years and i can't remember how i ended up finally giving in and starting to watch videos here and there but i can tell you that at this junction in my existence, i feel i cannot be without something playing in my headphones at ALL TIMES and 95% of what i listen to isn't music which has become so frustrating and cumbersome to do (but that's a topic for another comment) What worries me is how naked and anxious i feel instantly when there's nothing playing in my headphones. Like, what is that even about? Where did THAT COME FROM? So much more to say on this topic but this comment is already WAY too long!
@Jay that actually is really good advice especially on shows or movies with plots (stay away from light novel Isekai my fav). Picking something that actively is engaging and is a single activity is good for you. Keep the phone away and focus on a single thing too.
I've definitely had a lack of awareness recently, I will just refresh youtube over and over. Which is weird because its not enjoyable in the least and I rarely find good videos like that. There's this dim sense of why am I doing this, I wish I could stop. But once it starts It feels like I'm not in control anymore. The fact that I clicked on this video is a good sign that I'm getting some awareness back again. It usually goes in cycles like this for me. It really is all about awareness, certain platforms can just take advantage of a lack of awareness and highjack your attention.
Yeah, I refresh and refresh. I have 30+ tabs of youtube videos I told myself I would watch that I probably won't ever look at again but yet they're there, staring at me.
The “anterior insular activity” making us less aware is terrifying and what’s even more terrifying to me is how he mentioned how it’s involved in orgasms… I don’t know if this is actually why, but when I used to binge watch TH-cam terribly in college and get very anxious, I started to have to orgasm to relief these feelings, it was terrible.
I see people complaining that his videos are long but people are not realizing that we have developed such short attention spans I feel your videos give the space for us to think for ourselves while listening to you and I think that space is what is important to get us out of these loops. It prevents us from binging fast paced contents passively
Personally, being aware of how people out there are engineering technology to make me feel this way, makes it easier to put down the phone or close youtube. Don't let them have power over you
this really made me realize something and pulled me out of a depressive state. i am absolutely unable to work in the evening or night, i’ll tell myself the entire day “yea i still have time i can start at 6. i can still start at 10. at midnight.. and so on and i just cant. ill end up doing nothing, spending my day on the internet. however, i noticed that if i start working early, i will be focused longer and easier and whenever i do take breaks i find myself bored, not wanting to do nothing, so ill continue my work, or randomly start doing chores, sort out my closet etc. im on a productive high and youtube bores me. the days i start off lazy, on youtube, i stay on youtube and everything else becomes boring, im uninspired etc. this made me realize why. ill try to work on myself, sorting out my sleep schedule and getting used to doing what has to be done FIRST before the internet catches and destroys all my attention. i had such a hard time focusing today and am once again close to dropping out of university just bc i cannot focus and dont think i can ever do this. this made me realize that im not the problem, my current lifestyle just is, and i firmly believe i have the willpower to turn this around!
I did this when I was working on my thesis, but instead of not starting to work at midnight, I actually did start then or even later. I worked through the night and got in a good flow. I got a lot done and it felt great. Evening and night are the most productive time of day for me, and I've known it for a long time.
Yeah I I’ve noticed this as well. The thing is I’m able to sometimes study all night when i’m motivated but motivation is way too unreliable and depends on how excited I am about the task. That’s why I’m currently trying to fix my sleep schedule right now so I can give myself a structured work schedule and daily shutdown time. It’s always felt impossible for me to stick to a self imposed sleep schedule but this and a daily shutdown time are crucial I think. Especially when you work from home and make your own hours. I think having at least one non work day a week is important as well.
What should be illegal is publishing papers on consumer neuroscience... Like wtf Using centuries of brain research to create a. Larger divide between the haves and have nots ? Wtf are we paying taxes for then ? To dig our own graves this is messed up and definitely aggravated me to my core
If you want to procrastinate less and concentrate better on studying you can study with me here. Instead of watching videos on youtube you can have a video of me studying and keeping you company, so you don't get distracted. You can make youtube into something useful instead of a distraction. I study for 1-3 hours with breaks in between while I keep you company If you're interested, feel free to study with study videos of mine Hopefully it will be useful for you...
this is already terrifying in regards to teens and adults but imagine how detrimental this will be towards the younger generation and how the kids function when they grow up
@@yoyonis6840 literally dude. gen z are quite lucky as they weren’t shoved ipads in their hands at 6 years old, but we were still so young when iPhones were the norm so we’re still fucked. Feel really bad for the next generation who’s gonna be even worse.
Can't be any worse than knowing your society is collectively committing suicide and doing nothing about it tbh Kids of today are fucked for a vast variety of reasons
@@JaddyOG @Hansbald All we can do is when we become parents one day, is to not let our kids use the internet until at least they are 14 years old and give them books instead. So they don't end up F*** up like others. Even Steve Jobs knew this coming, he didn't let his kids use his own iPhones. I mean now days people are confused of what is a woman and that apparently men can be pregnant. In the future if we don't stop it, our kids will be brainwashed, depressed and literally be attack helicopters.
@@LuluTheCorgi wouldn’t say “your society” its a collective society as a whole everyone has responsibility. however our generation has been more open to emotional wellbeing and mental health we cant always do much about it (in terms of not being able to afford therapy or other circumstances)
This will be the last video I watch on youutube thank you so much!❤ I’m done with the Internet. I’m so serious. I needed to hear this, thank you for all the love, the entertainment, the lonely nights where my hubby is sleeping bc he has to get up early for work & needed to distract myself from real life problems. This was my “me time” but now I’ll be reading or watching good tv shows for my “me time” and giving my hubby some extra “us time”. Although I must say, I always made sure to do household chores while engaging on TH-cam. Anywho, Goodbye youutube, it’s been a long run but our time is up👋
This is exactly what happened to me today. I had a day off work and I spent 8:00am - 3:00pm doing nothing but watch videos.. Felt like I completely wasted my day.
There’s a reason why people that work in big tech companies don’t let their kids have social media and tablets. One guy I really like to listen to speak on this is Jaron Lanier. Super fascinating stuff. He inspired me to get off social media for a year and that was really eye opening. I find myself actually having trouble being entertained by it nowadays which is a good problem.
I didn’t know that was the case, I’ll check him out. Thanks for the heads up! This video comes at a perfect time for me. Have been really trying to reduce my tech time, I have been thinking and reflecting on what a waste it has been.
@@Breb1999 I deleted all my accounts and my apps and had the intention to be off forever. I pretty much lasted a year, I didn’t want to get back on but I’m an artist so I kind of had to. I still wish I could go off completely. I did have TH-cam though because I like watching art videos and book videos. I didn’t really ever have the urge to get back on because I really became informed on the damage it was doing to me and I could see how it wasn’t ACTUALLY entertaining. I made sure to keep busy and fill my time with art and reading and other hobbies. I was also working a lot so that helped and I was taking self defense classes like 3x a week. My mental health was in a relatively good place with all the exercise and good food I was getting. I imagine it would be harder for most people, my lifestyle just really was ideal. My biggest tip if you’re trying to cut back is to journal / stay present with your emotions and to keep busy with hobbies and work that better you as a whole.
What a great video! Thank you for the explanation on this topic, Mr Kanojia! The video has given me added value, so I would like to give something small back :)
I feel like for most of this video I was like “yeah yeah I got it, I sit down and can ask myself how I feel and I feel BAD. I don’t want to do it. Then what?” And the idea of ‘acknowledging the sacrifice’ is such a revelation. Allow yourself to admit that it’s hard, and you are doing a hard thing, and thank yourself for doing that hard thing.
But then what do you do when it's stuff you want to do, but just can't get yourself to do it? I would certainly prefer to even play games which I tend to enjoy, or do whatever else that I like, and yet I end up watching TH-cam for 4 hours (well more like 6 usually) because it seems like it's the only thing I can do.
that's insane, Whenever I watch videos even if it is just a 10-minute video, I feel like I become unaware of my surroundings, I feel like I'm disconnected from the world, and the act of doing that everyday for a lot of time made me feel like if I'm on drugs 24/7 to the extent that my life was falling apart and I'm not even noticing it like everything was fine. I'm trying to overcome this addiction and it is really hard, these technologies are stealing our lives
It's the effect of self awareness the more self aware you become the more miserable you get so my advice is give yourself a schedule and just don't be on your phone or computer at all times take a walk read a book or just take a nap
for 2 months i have been watching all of your videos and it helped me immensely Dr K. I have been diagnosed with major depression, severe anxiety disorder and late diagnosed ADHD. But your perspective about logical thinking about emotions and dealing with them, processing with them... made my traumas smaller. thank you. you will never see me and you will never know me but already you did more than anyone had been or has been in my life. I am bittersweet and it is life.
Interestingly I used to feel the same, but turns out constant internet use was more a symptom of the problem, than the problem itself. Maybe think about _why_ you use the internet so much. And if there's anything you can do to help with that. (Like for me, I needed heckin therapy not just less screen time lol)
I'm an adult women who is getting a diagnosis for adhd. I find myself watching youtube all day to pass the time and help numb my brain. I just don't know what to do day to day. I work full time and I need a break from it on my days off. But watching youtube can't be the only solution.
Omg this is so insightful and profoundly helpful. I’ve struggled with internet and technology addition and anger management issues for YEARS AND YEARS, and this feels like the “cure.” Thank you so much for making this video (I listened to it while folding laundry. Yay productivity.)
The suppressing uncomfortable emotions by distracting yourself with the internet is very true! Sometimes when I feel really shitty, like I'm stuck on a problem or am angry because of a disagreement with my parents, I shut myself in my room and surf the internet. And like I can physically feel myself relax by distancing my mind from those intense emotions. After I'm done with my binge, I barely even remember what caused me to feel bad. Very scary when the realisation hits.
The easiest way to stop a TH-cam addiction and fix your life in general is to add as many steps between yourself and what's troubling you. Make it difficult enough to where you cannot just "hop on for a sec". Make yourself not want to go through the effort of doing what you know you shouldn't be. For example, I used to have a TH-cam addiction a while back, and the way I fixed it was to make it so TH-cam never remembers my password, and then setup 2FA on the account, and then 2FA on the account that the first 2FA email gets sent to. I have to type my password, and go through two different 2FA's, logging into 3 emails every time I want to login to my TH-cam account. And to control my temptation to go to the website without logging in, I made it so my web browser doesn't autofill or save history. That way, I don't see TH-cam as an option on the quick access tab, and it won't autofill the search bar if all I do it press the letter Y. I also uninstalled TH-cam from all mobile devices.
This is brilliant. I already did a version of this where I uninstalled the YT app and simply use my mobile browser if I ever I need to watch a video (didn't work, still addicted as ever).
@@dogeseddy5513 dude I had tried that too. Now im trying to block youtube through screen time, now I spend 2 hours watching youtube instead of 5 every day.
My biggest solution to distractions in general is to have a separate space and to add a purpose to that space example: Today I'm taking my laptop to the public library to finish writing my resume instead of sitting on my computer at home and trying to do the resume but getting distracted on youtube or something.
I think what I took away from this, is that you have to have balance. It’s good to push yourself, even to your limits, but don’t be so hard on yourself when you don’t reach a goal. Talk to yourself as if you’re talking to a loved one you care about but in a manner of encouraging them to do better-even if the progress is little. Thank you for this.
Yeah this video was kind of dissappointing because there wasn't really any solution given or steps to take (although that's pretty common). I don't personally have the problem of watching hours of youtube at a time but I do waste a lot of time on it. But toward the end I was starting to think that in explaining the problem and its causes and the mechanism for why the problem persists, it kind of gives insight and motivation for actually getting yourself out of that cycle while having self compassion for yourself. Understanding a bit about the nerology of the changes to the anterior insula after watching a lot much youtube helps you give yourself a break and develop the self compassion required, and from there hopefully the motivaiton to get yourself out of the cycle
I think I saw another video a few days ago, it was about the inner voice that can harm yourself, where a commenter put it very beautifully (and funny): "If I overheard someone talk to someone else like my inner voice talks to me I would call the cops." I think the first step is indeed small, and indeed don't punish yourself for not being productive for a day, the road up isn't linear
Find it weird but this affect is actually why I think I like watching TH-cam before bed with the screen off. I end up falling asleep really well because I’m not over thinking my last day and just vibing with the video in front of me.
I have been doing the same thing, i thought that I couldn’t sleep without listening to something. it effected my sleep efficiency; because for example when a music turned on suddenly after i fall asleep i wake up. I alternated this habit with reading, i read until i can’t resist sleeping. Try it i think reading is more beneficial 🤷🏻♀️
@@en90n i think it woupd be beneficial to set a sleep timer for the music to go off and not keep running, i also cant sleep when theres still something running like music or tv. reading is actually a great alternative and probably a lot better that any kind of sound or screen, youre right
@@malecee I meant with music, for example when I'm listening to a podcast or a story on TH-cam and the presenter's voice is very calm, and suddenly there's a loud, awful music ad. Lol 🤣
Regarding procrastination, for me the number one factor really is the feeling that what I'm doing has to be perfect. I feel like I won't do it right and that's what keeps me from starting on something. But realizing that that's what's happening usually helps me get started. Even if it has to be in small steps at first!
Yes it happens to me in school work, I try to start but can’t because nothing seems to be perfect enough, then I tell myself: who cares if it’s perfect just do it to learn , I just do it no black and white thinking and have a lot of fun, (yeah sometimes school proyecta are fun)
This happens a lot with me and home projects. I'm also a tightwad when it comes to money, so that is another reason I want it to be perfect. I know that I can learn from my mistakes but making mistakes is expensive, especially in today's economy.
The most terrifying thing about this video is that I got it in my feed by chance. Who knows how many more days, weeks, months, years it would take if I just didn’t stumble upon it today.
Thank you for not taking advantage of the internet attention market by cutting the short pauses between Dr K's speech. Hearing this raw version is so much more impactful.
Yeap, the manipulations, that are hidden behind the "we just do the good stuff for you guyz" (entertainment etc.) is obvious for now. But "technologies" are used not only when you're in a bad mental state. That's an awfully-manipulative thesis itself, that can affect on people's conclusions, bcs the logic of it says: *_People = good. Technologies = bad._*
Just like to mention that i spent years addicted to technology and beating myself up for it, but instead recently I've made the conscious decision to not beat myself up when i spend all day doing nothing, and interestingly enough it leads to having more "productive" days where i really work on what matters to me m
Thank you for this video. I'm sure there's many people who wish to decrease their screen time and your video will help them. One thing to add is how a lot of videos sell you productivity. They tap into your frustrations on your lack of achievement/ productivity by selling you how to do things. In your example of bush crafts it is how to be self sufficient killing/catching/eating. In other videos it may be this is the most successful (productive) way to play this game, or to complete this DIY project. Again, thank you for your video I'm sure it'll help a lot of people. I'm off to watch another video now...
Just want to take a minute to let you know, despite my awareness of the fact that this comment will get lost in the sea, that your amazing content has been life-changing, and that is an understatement. This year was so challenging, from a breakup to opiate withdrawal and suicidal ideation in tandem with a major depressive episode.. Therapy has helped a bit but it's really your wonderful content that has truly helped me lift myself out of hopelessness and despair. In my perception, you literally saved my life. Thank you so much.
It's good you're still here. It must have been very difficult to overcome all that or to even find the strength to try, if I was you I would be very proud of myself :)
@@soy_boy69 LMAO well this picture is a quasi-meme I used here during my blunder years but hey I'll take that compliment from you for myself sir, please and thank you :)
As someone who has dealt with ADHD, anxiety, and mild depression, the best thing I ever learned how to do to take action, is to learn how to do things without pushing myself to do them but falling into action. It's hard to get for the first time but once you've felt it you can repeat it again. It's almost like a numbing of the mind and a letting go. I think a good way to start is counting down from five and then acting.
This is really concerning and frightening. As a digital native, I'd throw away entire days on TH-cam or other social media. I would always blame myself. I still believe it's my fault, but it's validating seeing how the system is maliciously curated to do this.
The part that IS your fault is the part of you that doesn't check yourself and remember that the tech is vying for your attention. In this situation, knowledge is power. Don't let yourself forget that the internet is a tool, and the playground we built here is trying to suck you in. Take ownership of your decisions and don't let the tech do it for you. The part that isn't our fault is that we come stock with certain psychological mechanisms that are very well understood and manipulated. So, now that we've seen this content, let us all not be manipulated. You can only be manipulated when you are unaware. Good luck
I started watching TH-cam when my dad was terminally ill and died in 2018. It helped me stop thinking about it all the time. The same again when my mum passed. But that has become an addiction that I didn’t realise was doing so much harm until recently. Unfortunately, it doesn’t selectively block out only the bad bits of life, it blocks out everything. Yes, you’re not thinking about the bad stuff, but all the time you should be pondering and working out what you need to do to be a functioning human is also taken up. Then your motivation is slowly sapped and that spreads through all aspects of your life.
Yea at least with mild altering substances the most common ones you are totally fine the next morning. No impulse to take a gummy at 7am but we sure will roll over snooze the alarm and open TH-cam.
In my experience, the reason I do not start to do something like studying and instead watch youtube is often that I actually don't even know how to start. Like I have to study. But like, what do I even have to do for that? Planning To Do Lists have definitely helped with that, especially since I can seperate the things into small chunks that are not too overwhelming.
Whenever I feel the need to binge on something unhealthy, when I am in a good state of mind, I remind myself that I do not need these things, I will be perfectly happy without them, and if I am wrong and do need them, they will be readily available whenever I want. I can go and do the more nourishing thing in the meantime.
I am going through this. I am alone most of the time so I use social media more. I don't have enough friends or family around me so it makes it worse because that's the only way I find comfort. But I hate living like this. I waste more time than ever and now I am depressed I don't know how to get out of this.
Start with taking walks outside. You need to connect with nature. It’s not normal for us to be engaged with technology like this. It’s so bad for the brain and hormone balance. Move your body by speed walking (if physically possible) and getting sun exposure and fresh air. Touch grass…literally. Be well my friend! I was feeling like this a few months ago and I feel a ton better. Now I treat social media like a horrible drug that I’m rehabbing from😮💨
this tends to be the cause of depressive episodes or comes hand in hand with it. Try start your day without screen time and its much easier to be productive. I have this problem ALL THE TIME and I’m still managing to do a pretty involved degree so don’t worry it’s ok we all get like this and it’s not ur fault ❤
More psychiatrists should be like him. Too many doctors choose psychiatry because the residency is among the less-demanding in the field, and work-life balance is attainable. It leads to a lot of shitty psychiatrists who phone in everyday for a patient population that require a deep amount of empathy and special consideration.
This is so true. I've literally never even met my psychiatrist in person because she just video calls me every month. Also she's at least 5 minutes late every single time and never acknowledges it or apologizes for it, so right off the bat it feels like she doesn't care about me.
The psychiatrist I saw gaslit me and so I've never gone back to her. I'm trying to work up the courage to seek psychiatric care for my ADHD, I'm afraid of having a similar experience. I've lived my life for 30 years without medication, I want a psychiatrist that only wants me on meds that help and that is willing to help me not uproot my whole lifestyle for it
@MiniPeen-dc3qo Good point, but not everyone has the option or time to do so. They are still people and some will be late even though they're very good at their job, unfortuneatly.
Thank you. I appreciate this. Note: There are beliefs that are better/right/true, even when compared to others. You can still believe this and not be so black and white in your thinking processes, because Truth is not subjective even though we push it to be. John 3:16. God bless you and the reader ❤
I've been averaging 7-8 hours a day of TH-cam for this week. It's been about 4-5 hours a day for the past 5 years, and while I have learnt a lot from it, there is so much I could have done instead. Thanks for the video, I'm going to be kinder to myself
I know in this video, Dr. K talks about addressing underlying emotions etc. But for those that do struggle with this and their video consumption is on desktop, I highly recommend getting an extension that blocks the TH-cam recommendations page, and also the sidebar on videos. It's by no means perfect, but it does help :) Edit: Yes, I am well aware that this is not a solution to the issue. Of course address the underlying emotions as Dr. K says in the video. This is simply another barrier to falling into bad habits. The process of addressing those emotions is not simply a black and white process. Maybe doing this just takes the 6 hours wasted and turns it into 4. It's still worthwhile.
I can recommend this too. (For Firefox users, I can recommend the extension Unhook.) I think it's similar to the advice to remove snacks from your pantry if you're going on a diet - it's not necessarily going to suddenly make it easy to eat healthy every day, but it can add one "barrier" to the negative behaviour that you're trying to stop. Ultimately though, as genuinely helpful as tips like this can be, we have to try to solve the root cause of the problem!
Thank you! I have 2 cases and 10 reports to do, but it's Saturday, so I just watched TH-cam and Netflix and video called my husband. Thank you for this video!
I have struggled with this a lot in my past so I'm glad it's finally being talked about. My tendencies use to suck me into watching TH-cam everyday... It felt so good and I enjoyed the people I watched so much that I didn't want to stop. Then, hours later, when I took a break I just felt like doing absolutely nothing. I dreaded doing every single thing(literally everything) other than watching TH-cam. It was a really bad vicious cycle in my life for some time. I still have problems from time to time but, for me, I've found the thing that seems to work. It seems obvious but it's an "out of sight out of mind" mentality. I just focus when I wake up in the morning on the things that I could do that aren't youtube. Not on how to avoid watching TH-cam(this is crucial). From time to time the thought of watching a video pops into my head, but I just refocus my energy back to what I was doing. I have go to things that are essentially "time wasters" for when I'm craving to watch my favorite TH-camrs. Things that you could spend hours doing but aren't necessarily unproductive either. I've thrown balls at the wall for hours at a time(slight exercise), meditated(peace of mind), went outside to feel the sun on my skin(I just love this haha), I even just threw a pillow around my room for like 30 minutes once(some exercise too depending on how big your room is.). Just simple and stupid things so TH-cam is out of sight and out of mind. I keep doing these things until I feel naturally motivated to do something that isn't watching youtube. The boredom usually takes care of that. Although I actually am quite entertained by my "time wasters" and I usually get inspired to do something while I'm doing these things. Find something that is a passive activity where you can think while doing it so you have the possibility of be inspired by thought. When I say inspired I mean any thought that has motivation backing it. In those moments I don't think, I just do those things with that little motivation boost that I got from it! I plan my day every day from the start with these time wasters! So it's not really a waste of time at all! 🙂The biggest key to all of this though is to be patient with yourself. You obviously won't be able to kick a set of tendencies and a habit immediately. Your mind will gravitate towards it over and over, do your best to refocus your attention on a time waster or something else. You will slip up every now and again. The quicker you accept this and be okay with making a mistake every now and again the sooner you can move on and do the things that you truly want to do.☺but even being able to forgive yourself takes time and patience. I hope this helps any of you who are or have been struggling with this and I wish you all the best 🙏 have a good day 🙏 Oh and take all of this with a grain of salt. I'm still learning and if you pick apart what I say and apply your own experience and knowledge then you could probably make what I do even better! I believe in you 🙂but then again if you have these issue's, like me, then your mind will probably reject that idea all together. Also this is all practical advice. When it comes to your mindset, emotional state, or any circumstantial dependent things then you need to listen to yourself and respond in a way that works for you. Like Dr. K said in this video. You need to be aware of your emotions in order to looks past them. Awareness is crucial.
I go through this hole cycle every day. I start in the morning, when I'm super tired, to let myself wake up. Then, as I wake up, I let it play in the background, while I am getting ready for the day, which I always intend to do, bright and early. But the more I have to face going outside, face, my adult responsibilities, the more excuses I give myself to do stuff around the house, change my outfit, whatever. It is only as I continued to consume more caffeine, and the knowledge that there are things that I HAVE to do or my adult life will fall apart, and there will be real world consequences, do the scales tip to full-blown anxiety, when I am finally able to push myself out the door in almost a frenzy, trying to get an entire days to do list worth of stuff to accomplish in two hours. I have gotten to the point where I know I need to be able to sit with my thoughts and feelings, and process. It's just so much easier not to.
@@sarahfromtheneverland9001 honestly it's SO comforting to know that I'm not the only one in this cycle! Sometimes I put reminders/alarms in my phone if I know that I have a lot to do the next day, so that during that cycle I am more aware of the time and the obligations I have. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. I am trying to use it as more of a reward, for after I get my responsibilities done, but it's so hard to be alone with my thoughts and feelings, especially anxiety.
This is me , who get distracted on youtube for many hours when sth is needed to do.This is an aye-opening to hear and I will try to break this cycle from now on.Thank you so much.
This is a very interesting video, I always say my laziness, self acknowledged ADD and lack of self control regarding instant gratification are the reason I am unable to do the things in my life I know I need to do to make it better. But never am able to actually get things done unless I'm already in a bad position, it feels as if I need to be down bad to pull myself out of this mindset to get something done. The lack of self awareness is something I would've never assumed was a major factor in this character trait. Thanks Dr.K, hope you do more video on this!
You just articulated me. I have no will power to work when life is comfortable, which inevitably leads to it being uncomfortable, which inevitably leads me to work very hard to become comfortable again. Dumb and annoying describe my situation best.
I know why I go down the rabbit hole. It shuts my brain off. I don't have to think when I'm watching tv or playing a game or researching something on youtube. It gives my brain a break. I used to have alcohol but since I don't drink that anymore I get zero relief from the constant anxiety, depression, and mental exhaustion that comes with everyday life. It's clear I have a disorder of some kind because normal people don't experience life like this. I eventually get to a point where I eat horrible food (for the feels) and or completely extricate myself from anything that makes me think about stuff. I usually combine these into a weekend binge of TV and bad food options but its never like I actually rested. I am still just as exhausted after that huge waste of time. Only now I have gained weight and haven't made any progress towards my goals so now I feel worse. I have a meeting set up next week. I hope I can get a proper diagnosis and some kind of solution other than meditation because there is no way I'm going to meditate.
"and what is being bought in the attention marketplace ? YOU ARE" you are the goat my friend! you are changing people's outlooks for the better everyday and for that i commend you
You are changing my life. The irony that I found this video during my nightly TH-cam mind numbing session to avoid my emotions while I do tasks I don’t want to do was not lost on me. You gave some really great advice as to how to address it.
*I understand this channel isn't a substitute for therapy.* I want to thank you for your material Dr. K because your wording, demeanor, patience, and general understanding with kindness is really getting through to me on things I've ruminated over all my life, I'm 29 now. I talk about your videos to my therapist weekly. I am currently doing exactly as this video explains, and have wasted the last few hours on my phone when I need to work. There really is a great importance with how a messenger relays certain messages, I've been through a lot of mental health doctors in my personal life and you are really unique. I could go on forever, thanks again Dr. K. 🤞🏻
I still don't get how to go about this. What was advocated to do once you realize you're on the good ol' youtube/internet binge? Kinda confused tbh. Wish you the best with your journey btw.
Your videos are so useful. My addiction comes from the need to know everything. There are so many informative videos out there that I feel like I'm missing out if I'm not scrolling/watching. I am now listening with earbuds while I do my chores. I think this helps a little. It is easier to turn it off then, once I'm engaged in something else.
I barely use social media anymore. I use my phone actively by searching up stuff I actually want to do (read, learn, watch movies, listen to podcasts, play games). I feel SO much better, it's insane how much mindless scrolling can affect you.
Same. Mind you i still have my low points and give in. But getting rid of social media apps on my phone was the most freeing thing, because doomscrolling on tiktok or instagram feels disgusting, im lucky i never downloaded tiktok knowing how addicting it is to ppl. Becuz rlly theres no need staying on insta just for a few ppl possibly talking to you, find some texting app. Idk even if its watching movie by myself it feels 100x more enjoyable in the end, that or reading, listening to music etc. For a while I spent a lot of time every day going outside to read in the park, and while im kinda giving into tech addictions now, its definitely something i recommend to ppl. Reading might seem boring but god in the long run it can rlly make u feel a lot happier about life. and it gives u a good excuse to be outside
This video really dropped at the right time. I've been struggling the past weeks if not months working on projects alone in home office with entire weeks going by doing literally nothing. Distracting myself because I know deep down I got nothing done. Calling it quits and feeling tired before even doing anything because I gave in to letting myself get distracted. Self soothing myself in TH-cam and the like while self loathing myself at the same time. Last sunday I brought myself to at least do something instead of playing some video games with friends although I wasted hours before. Already feeling better. This video helped to reinforce that thinking and being more aware as well. It's a step by step progress. I hope I can continue thinking this way. The thing about doing things over the weekend was spot on. I have tons of work to catch up to with colleagues waiting for me and some deadlines though it's probably better to think about the things you got done than to think about everything you haven't done. Cheers Dr. K, you're a life saver and I really appreciate the work you're doing. I will try out your ADHD and meditation courses the coming weekend though I dislike that I have to use a Discord or Google account for that. Edit: The thing with me though is that I am kind of a perfectionist at heart. I need to tone that down though I am not sure how. What stops me most of the time is facing a difficult problem (I develop software) and feeling despair and frustration because I can't find that perfect solution to the problem at hand. Or it's some trivial task where I tell myself I will do it later. Most of the times I feel overwhelmed or underwhelmed and not bother.
Man, I really feel you I'm also a developer and gamer, and last week has been so hard to focus on work, and not playing something or steam or watching something on TH-cam... I also higly suspect I have ADHD, so it's really hard to manage
@@oscaralthausen5750 I really relate to both of you. I realized recently that I probably have ADHD too. Meds (mainly stims) help a bit, but it's even harder to pull away from things like TH-cam if you do fall into the hole. Such a delicate balance to try and keep up all the time...
@@lolasdasdasdasdasdas how do you mentally process all whats going on with the coding on the screen? Because it feels like every single input requires you to know/remember what function does what and what its used for on a completely different line or tab and theres a a million of it. idk to me its like trying to formulate a bunch of different math formulas and make them work together is what makes my adhd brain hurt
I was watching youtube for 1-2 hours, playing games for 1-2 hours until 8 PM. I know I needed to work on my project. I'm not feeling well since the morning. And I ended up self-loathing myself and procrastinates even more and keep the self-blaming. This video has helped me to realize what I need to do. Thank you for sharing this Dr. K! 🙏
Lol. The timing of this is hilarious. I opened Notion to write a journal entry last night bc I had a lot to say. Somehow got sucked into TH-cam for maybe an hour or so. Once I realized what happened, I turned my attention back to Notion, couldn't remember what I wanted to write about and just wrote a few lines about how I was going to write a lot but then TH-cam happened. That was the journal entry 😭.
I have struggled with procrastination my entire life, and I found it so interesting when you said that procrastination actually has to do with incorrect emotional processing and incorrect emotional awareness - I will definitely look into this deeper.
Thank you. Part of me already knew this because I could see my hrs of staring at the screen was a form of escapism and self soothing to not deal with all the negative emotions that chronic pain has brought into my life, along with all the various pressures of life. But it is incredibly validating to hear all this. I hope this becomes a real key to help begin moving forward. Your delivery is also so compassionate. I liken this information, ironically found here on TH-cam, to someone opening the cell door for me and all of a sudden light coming into this prison. ❤️🙏
I've tried blocking TH-cam before but I always ran into having to use TH-cam for work. Now I just unblock TH-cam and Reddit on Wednesdays. I make notes if I need to look up something on TH-cam and Reddit for work and just look it up on Wednesdays only. This channel has helped me so much.
It’s been a brief test period so far, but I’ve found grayscale on my phone can help. It’s almost like a reminder of what I’m doing, hence giving back some level of awareness. I like the scheduling tho. Good on you.
@@thekevinfoster oh, you're saying you turn your whole phone grayscale? Not just the app icons? Because I just ignore gray app icons and just open them anyway. What do you use to make your phone grayscale?
@@evanstewy I know on iPhone you go to accessibility settings and color filters. Android, it’s probably somewhere on google. I ignore the gray apps as well. Grayscale may only help a bit, but it’s something. Edit: seems like it’s under well-being and parental controls on android. It’s called bedtime mode there. Also should help with blue light stuff. Heard there might be some addiction research on that.
30 years old here, 2 summers ago i really noticed the impact of phone/youtube consumption which become a habbit during the pandemic. For me i began to get brain fog, vision issues, balance problems, speech issues, it really began to deteriorate me.. im still not completely recovered..working away from my phone and going to the gym really helps to reset, i cant be sure its directly linked but my life before the smart phone useage was completely different. Anxiety worse Self esteem worse Personal relasionships affected The list goes on
@@normanclatcher You are kinda missing the point. Nobody is saying watching half an hour of TH-cam a day will make your brain explode. This video is about people watching it for hours at a time Moderation is key as with everything (Which I personally suck at lol I'm definitely in the hours category)
@@LuluTheCorgi I'm also in the 'hours' category. My 'they' here is the algorithm, which wouldn't bother sharing something like this if it thought it posed a real danger to us continuing on as we've been.
Interesting video. I don’t find I have this with long form TH-cam videos, but short form, shorts, reels etc are absolutely murder on my ability to do anything else, to the point that I’ve actively attempted to remove them from my life. Keep up the great work!
I'm going to leave a bigger comment soon, but I just wanted to quickly say that I resonate so so much with this. I don't even know if resonate is the right word but I'm just so emotional about the fact that it feels like you're talking about my life.
Appreciate this! Currently at the end of a day-long YT binge while procrastinating an assignment due in an hour... SO helpful to remember that even as a soon-to-be physician, I'm still hopelessly outgunned by the algorithm and just to move on and not to beat myself up about it. Thank you! 🙏
Bookmarking this so that I watch it anytime I feel like I do now. This is the PERFECT video for me in this state. I get into it every once in awhile and it takes awhile to get out of it. This video sums it all up so perfectly and also helps me take the blame off myself. THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO MAN!
I was always a procrastinator during all my years of studying, in high school and in college, always the same. The interesting thing though was that once I actually started, then I was hooked usually and could work on for hours. And sometimes, I could even enjoy the subject somewhat. And the feeling afterwards was very rewarding. But the feeling beforehand was always full of negativity and tiredness, and especially if it was very hard subject (I have experience of quitting a program at college, because both too difficult but also not my passion) then I would feel even more difficult to even start studying or doing homework etc. TH-cam, games or whatever, is really escapism. I thought this exact word would be mentioned, although something similar is mentioned, but I feel the word escapism best describes why we go to TH-cam sometimes. It is because sometimes, the burden from your life and work/school, is too much. And the natural thing for your body to do then, is to try to block it off and escape! As for me, I think it's great that I can escape negativity. I know there is a reason for why I did it so many times. But I do not beat myself for it, I accept how I am. The only downside is that homework was not done until late, and that itself can cause more anxiety then making it earlier!
Absolutely! We're being robbed of our mental health and strength by so many different indirect sneaky means, that it's no wonder people can't navigate this modern mess of a life. So thank God channels like this exist.
@@dizont Other influencers aren’t licensed doctors though. This man has spent years studying the human brain and how it works, his knowledge is very valuable and he’s giving it away for free. If he gets compensation from ad revenue, who cares? It allows him to spend more time streaming and making videos
@@colbyjackcheeser alright but in the end this not a lecture with a certified degree, it's entertainment video on an entertainment platform. So whether you watch this or some tiktok influence in principle doesn't matter. I mean he literally gets hype on troubles of the world, but what he does, cannot provide a quality help, because it's just not how therapy works ( I assume lots of ppl watching this need it).. I'm just glad he mentions this fact.
I have a rule. If there's anything I ever NEED to do, I have committed to not do it. This sounds pretty weird, but it actually works really well for me. The thing is, if I absolutely NEED to do something, I can't not do it. Like, I NEED to follow the rules of gravity, and I can't just float in defiance. But homework? I can end up not doing it. But that's the thing, if I end up not doing it, and the world doesn't end, hell, even if I end up not doing it and the world DOES end, I still didn't NEED to do it, I just brought about the end of the world. What this just does is forces me to engage with the idea that, no, I don't NEED to do the homework. Now it's a choice. I can choose to do the homework, or choose not to. Now another part of me is saying I SHOULD do it, and that SHOULD gets stressed into the NEED to do it. But there's another part of me that has a different take on it. Maybe it's scared, it's tired and it feels like trying to do it would be painful or so much work that's not worth the reward. Maybe it actually knows the truth, which is that if I don't do it, I'm actually pretty good at avoiding the consequences, and the biggest consequence I'm facing is actually right now where I'm letting myself feel bad about the challenges I'm having in doing it. But when I engage in that, and it does turn into a choice, I try to listen to those sides, and I make the choice. So maybe I am tired, and I know that it will be a bit painful to do, and I know that it's not going to make a big difference on my grade, and I know that playing video games is a way for me to avoid doing an uncomfortable thing. So, letting myself do that is a valid choice. But the weird thing is, as soon as letting myself do that is a valid choice, I don't actually need to play the video games to avoid doing the uncomfortable thing. A big draw of the video games is to avoid that shame and discomfort that comes from not doing the thing I NEED to do. But I can give myself permission to do that without having to try to avoid the feelings. So this has the counterintuitive result of actually making me be willing to do the hard thing. Because why not? I have another rule, and that is that I value my ability to do arbitrary things that aren't productive. I find the ability to practice choosing is more important than being super effective. Again, this means choosing to play a video game is a valuable decision. But it also means that so is doing the painful work that doesn't actually make a difference on my grade and is pointless. I practice this all the time. Tonight I'm fasting. I traveled, and where I am has few options for food. Fasting is something I do commonly, off and on. I had some options on how to deal with the dinner situation, and I chose fasting. There's pros and cons, but the main pro is that I'm going to be uncomfortable and I'll deal with it. Cons might be what it does to how I sleep or feel in the morning. Pros of getting food would be exploring something new, maybe seeing new people. Cons being that I don't get to practice that tolerating discomfort. Neither is really a good or bad decision. I'll be fine both ways, but it's a decision, and I see value in doing the uncomfortable thing when it's not important. This means, for me, when I remember these rules, I have a much higher likelihood of doing the homework. I don't do it because I have to, I don't do it because I'm motivated or because I'm confident and it's easy. I do it because I can choose not to, I do it because I can do the thing that is uncomfortable now or the thing that is comfortable now, and I choose discomfort. Rarely is anything the right choice, or the easy choice either. Doing homework can actually be the easy thing. Doing your assignments means that you maybe understand the material better, you can maybe pass with a lower mark on the final exam. Not doing the homework makes the exam harder. Not passing the exam makes graduating harder. Not graduating makes building wealth harder. If you let yourself recognize this, it's OK to not do your homework. It's OK to do your homework. It's OK to do half your homework. It's OK to do enough homework to learn some concepts but not finish it or hand it in. It's OK to learn the same material by doing other work that is not actually assigned to you and won't give you a grade. All of these things are different, they will cause different effects in the end, some are uncomfortable now and will make things uncomfortable later. Some are comfortable now but will make you uncomfortable later, and some will be comfortable now and make things comfortable later. You might think the last is what you should find, but how does that affect you? Does it mean you always seek the comfortable things? What do you do when you can't find the comfortable solution? When one doesn't exist? To me the important thing is the awareness. If you choose to take the comfortable path that leads to the comfortable outcome, that's absolutely fine. If you do that every time, that's totally fine too. But what I personally value is that when it comes to a situation where you don't see a comfortable solution that leads to a comfortable outcome, that you don't just shut off your brain and make up a fantasy. You don't go and blame the world for not giving you the comfortable path that SHOULD exist. You don't just consider yourself broken. You don't just distract yourself and avoid the reality by not confronting it. And this is why I like to choose the uncomfortable option. It reminds me that I have the choice. I don't NEED to do the right thing. I can choose to pick the good outcome. I can choose to pick the bad outcome. Because the alternate is a lie. If I have to choose the good outcome, because choosing the bad outcome is wrong, it's not a choice. It's simply something that must be done. But this isn't what actually happens, because we often don't choose the good outcome. So let's accept that. Accepting that helps to give us back our ability to choose at all, and when we can choose, we can choose the good outcome too.
“The more aware I am, the less likely I am to engage with TH-cam for 5 hours.” Turn your phone screen to grayscale! It won’t solve the problem, but this is literally what I noticed. You realize it’s gray at some point, and sometimes that is a cue to get you to stop. Just one helpful tip. Just try it for a week and see if it helps.
This was a really good video. I’m not proud to admit I’ve wasted entire days chasing the dopamine hit of consuming media through my tiny phone screen just to put off feelings that I couldn’t handle. Interestingly I have a “hangover” for the next couple of days when I do this where I chase the “hair of the dog” (more social media) and have to talk myself through extreme anxiety.
Woah, I expected some scolding after being in the same situation but this has been so comforting AND true and motivating. I can 100% feel it, most of the time I procrastinate (like right now lol) because I am scared of the task, the amount of work and possible failure. Damn
This video made me excited to work on my dissertation, which has been incredibly hard to sit down with, but very gratifying to work on. I’m way behind my predetermined schedule, but I still have quite a bit of time. If I remember, I’ll give a little update on how it comes together.
It's a digital alcohol (without hangover) or drugs. It allows to forget about your duties for a short amount of time in exchange to bad feeling at the end, which just short circuit the loop.
This was the most important thing I've needed to hear in a long time, thank you so much for this. I've been stuck in this vicious cycle for awhile and have gotten very little accomplished in my personal life. My working life is fine, but I have no life outside of it because of this cycle. "Dragging cattle" is the perfect way to describe it. For instance, I can't finish writing the books that I want to create, because I find it extremely difficult to muster up the effort to write even a few sentences. I hate feeling that way because I love writing, I love making up characters and worlds, etc. But it's become a chore, and then I ALWAYS reach for the TH-cam videos or video games to numb the annoying thoughts of "This is too hard to do." Hours go by and then it's time to go to bed for work in the morning, and I hate myself because I didn't write a thing. I didn't do a single thing productive. And this happens every. single. damn. day... I binge videos or run around in Fallout 4 for 5 hours (open world games is another perfect example of those 'attention markets' you explained!) I pushed all these negative feelings aside and wrote them off as self-diagnosed depression and being lazy, but you've explained that "attention marketplace" and I feel like this knowledge will make me more aware and I will break this cycle. Even if I have to lock up every single piece of tech I own for a few hours each night, and write my book with good old fashioned paper and pencil.
When I wrote my book, I used apps like *Cold Turkey*, which block access to social media sites for a certain amount of time, and then they unblock you. This helped IMMENSELY with getting and staying focused. I wouldn't have been able to write/finish my book (400+ pages) without these types of apps. Cold Turkey is for the computer/laptop. I don't know if they have it for the phone. I don't really use my phone for social media. I'm on my desktop/laptop most of the time. They probably have apps like that for the phone though. It's definitely worth checking out.
I'm in the same boat rn... It's rough too because then when I do get the motivation or force myself to sometimes l just have to reread all my work and spend hours nitpicking and rewriting stuff then by the time I get caught back up it's been a couple hours or something and I am already ready to do something else... Or I get there and can't think of what I had planned to do next story wise.. etc. Wishing you luck in your writing
Challenge made! I'm cutting TH-cam for the next 30 days to see how my life changes. I've wasted a lot of time on this as well, and I think it's time to experience life more. Thanks Dr. K. I'll be back soon!❤
@@t33lx10 I'm not the OP but just wanted to say that I went on an internet-diet. Allowed myself to use internet only for one hour per day from 7pm to 8pm. (of course exceptions could happen if I HAD to do something). Anyway, I started writing down things I want to do on the internet during that period of time and the list was surprisingly short :D First two days were horrible but after that the piece of mind returned and I could do stuff I actually wanted more easily. It also weened me off my phone and that has been a lasting effect. Unfortunately I'm scrolling youtube and reddit again.. I want to redo this.. it was really good for me.
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i dont only watch videos on videos only for 4 hours much more infact certain days i can use my phone for 16 hours or 17 (in a day) which was the most xD ....
Hey I'm a new viewer of this channel you won't probably read this but I really appreciate this video. For months I tired to do what I want but I could never achieve my goals and used to resent myself but from now on I will try my very best to do better. Thank you again. May god bless you and your loved ones. Thanks once again ❤
@@sarahfromtheneverland9001 his coaching is so good it can end your life misery immediatly ... by suicide! He´s not Jesus, don´t trust his methods too much.
I tried clicking on the subsidy fund link on the webpage and it wouldn’t work. Can you please share the link with us here for that?
I hope you can see this message: I think that the way you communicate is often too pasinate and it can be percieved as aggressive or even sound like an admonishment. I think I'm probably not the only one how feels this way. My point is, you are so passionate about what you are talking about that you communicate very delicate things this way and sometimes this pasion can be percieved as aggression or as a admonishment ( a reprimand). I don't know if you get my point.
I tell you this because I'm a high school teacher and I'm very passionate about what I teach and I could see myself in the mirror seeing you talking with such enthusiasm, nontheless this enthusiasm you feel can be percieved in other ways by your audience.
Conclusion: I feel the message you try to deliver might mot be well sent because of too much enthusiasm. I agree with the message but not totally with the way it is delivered.
When the algorithm gives you the solution to itself…
Fortunately it can't do more complex analyses it and figure people who watch this video have less engagement in the future.
@@Bob-qz5yj shhhh don’t let it know 🤫😅
@@Bob-qz5yj unless maybe people are helpless to use the advice and it only engages them more.
Who do we want to fool... Tomorrow we'll be here again binge watching dozens of other 'interesting' videos just like this one. Otherwise how did we get here?? God I wish I was wrong this time... But this is not the first nor the second time I bump into a video like this. And here we meet again on the conveyor belt...
@@brunocp87 Don't give up hope bro. Be kind to yourself and keep taking small steps, even if it seems futile.
I was addicted to TikTok but soon realised that I began having short attention span. So then I trained myself to consume longer contents, and that’s TH-cam videos. Now I easily waste a lot of hours here.
Same here,
But hopefully today is the last of that kind of day.
Same…
great job!!
Lol trading one for the other eh? Well, if you had to have one or the other, it's far worse to be able to sit and watch longform content than to be zombified by TikToks to the point that you need to watch godawful side by side videos because your brain is so fucked. Not just because TikTok itself is awful, but because this is harmful to us outside of these two places. A person who struggles with TikTok is often going to have a harder time with focus on irl interactions, or maybe reading if that's something they either like, want or have to do sometimes.
So now that you made one improvement, just try your best to moderate this new little vice and you'll be in an even better place.
think positive 😂do nothing
To anyone reading this, I hope you break out of this endless cycle of binge watching and accomplish everything you know you can do. You’ve got this!
thank you. I mean it. This reddit post relates to me exactly. I spend hours each day going back and watching for 6-7 hours, into the night. Im a 16 year old kid. Its an adiction. Last time i tride to cut it out I got depresed. What ive noticed being this adicted to watching youtube is rare, so there isnt a lot of resorses out there for this. I feel like im wasting my life. Its right now 12:30 am. I got home from school, and did no homework and ended up here. This hapens every day. Sorry for the rant and misspellings. Im only 5 mins in the video and will watch it. Thank you for encuragement.
@@mmkhperson2I’m in the same situation. I’m 15 and writing this at 2:30 in the morning on a TH-cam binge like always. I think I gradually got into this addiction and stopped noticing how much time I spend on this app every day. It is very sad because I use this app as a tool, not just for entertainment. I want to try and only use it as a tool because it can be very useful, but I have tried one time and got depressed. I hope you can get out of this addiction too.
@dreamlifter2701
thank you - many blessings 🤍
@@mmkhperson2 im 16
I watch about the same as you
32 hours a week pretty much every week and im fine
I have above average grades for my entire country. Do minimal revision/studying and do whatever homework im given pretty much immediately
This is a you problem
@@mmkhperson2where all in the same boat together man! I guess my advice would be to hang out with friends more, join a club or a sports team, try a new hobby even. Basically something that is going to distract you from binge watching. The reason why TH-cam is such a problem for people like us is because the reward feeling or rather the dopamine hit requires basically zero effort. Once you start participating in activities that genuinely require at least some effort to complete, your mental stability will slowly increase making you less dependent on TH-cam for that quick hit of pleasure. At least this is what I believe to be true.
I have never felt so attacked by a TH-cam title, period.
Same lol
Bet.
Can't tell if I even feel the attack I'm so unconscious/s
He always have the best thumbails on yt ever you can't stop yourself from clicking
tbh feel attacked by most of these
The tech addiction has been a real struggle. These dark and cold winters definitely don’t help things.
ive got an addon wich removes random suggestions in youtube on the side, also it cuts out shorts. There are loads of addons avalible for this.
@@Rony542 what's the name?
@@Rony542 That sounds great, what's the name of the extension you use?
@@milanatarasova3090 Could be Unhook, its what i use
there wer "dark" and "cold" winters since the dawn of humanity. Thats doesnt change anything.
to anyone that’s ALREADY working on themselves and just randomly stumbled on this video, let’s keep going! it’s so worth it
Still working? =)
(And if not, no worries, here's a decent opportunity to recognise the distraction and learn from it to refocus. Remember if you go back to productivity, you're not starting from scratch, you're continuing your streak where you left off, even if it's been a week or a month or years.)
Absolutely bro let's do this
👏 Thank you
@@TheHadMatters Thank you!
You actually just described so much of why I am depressed. I never draw anymore because I just am too tired or unmotivated. I'm passionate about it but can never get myself to do it anymore. I do the bare minimum to get by and struggle with basic daily tasks and chores.
Same!
So what is the reason for that?
(Pls I literally have no moivation to watch this video to the end)
@@Ulterior-l4k because u don't deal with your negative emotions. U supress them. Say "who cares how i feel?" and then not deal with it, but then the feeling ends up dealing with u anyway.
i think it is that our "cavemen brain" wants just to survive, not to revolutionize a field. So it rathers do stuff where there is "nothing at stake" like watching YT, or playing games rather than do the work we need ... because a part of us is like "if i do the thing (drawing/painting/music...) it may not work out, my reputation will be worse if i release it or people may make fun of me. And if I am successful,it may carry too much unwanted attention." That way doing the thing we actually want seems like a loose/loose 😅 ... so watching Netflix seems safe
@@kirasigncomics But Then How Do I Deal with the Negative emotions?
I tell myself "at least it's educational", because I love to learn, but I am so aware of the fact that I'm actually just avoiding feeling my feelings and facing real life responsibilities. So reading that title just flash froze all the blood in my body...I suddenly felt naked and exposed in front of a classroom of people. Yikes, this isn't fun anymore lol
I thought i was the only one thinking that way. Guess it’s time do something about it
TH-cam is escapism in its final form.
Edit: or maybe TikTok. Both of them.
This video's title is truly educational
"Atleast it's educational" is my constant excuse to bengewatch youtube. Also there's some fear of missing out but probably nothing horrible wouldn't really happen I'd I would watch it 🙃 most likely it would have a good effect on my life. 🤔
@@TeodorLojewski Yeah its tiktok. People would have killed back then for youtube, but tiktok?
TH-cam is the final sm app that I need to let go of. I’ve deleted every other app, but yt feels like I’m being productive because I’m always learning something on it. For me it’s not homework, it’s doing the dishes. I HATE doing them… and live alone and can go days once I get too busy, tired, or emotionally distressed from life…Thank you!
Get diagnosed to see if tou have ADHD. Seriously
Something that’s been a game changer for me is wearing rubber gloves when washing dishes, I didn’t realize how much my reluctance related to sensory issues. Also I put on a YT video with a length of time I think it’ll take to do the dishes
I'm in the same boat. I have anxiety and depression and I just can't find the motivation to do it. I eventually make myself and I'm glad when it's done. I listen to things like this or music while I do it to key me company.
Do them while you listen to youtube. Dont have to watch it.
Exactly, with youtube I can also do other things while it plays in the background as well
Well. After watching this yesterday, today I did it. Changed my attitude from "no matter how you feel, you have to do it" to checking in with myself, addressing my needs first, taking breaks, encouraging myself. Taking the compassionate approach worked. I finished and submitted two assignments I've been trying to finish for ages. This feeling is so much better than the high from scrolling. I also treated myself to two giant marshmallows. Thanks, Dr K
That sounds liberating! Happy to see you exploring self-compassion and taking your emotions into account as well, wish you all the best
@@confusedturtle183 thanks!! Update to this: I passed the assignments and the course, and also finished my first art commission today :D
I need to do this. I don't know how though
@@jamiedoesthings That's insane dude! You're crushing!
I wanna share a little bit with you about me as well, cause I've been experimenting with a similar kind of approach/attitude change the past ~3 months and I gotta say - after struggling with staying afloat for the past 6 years in school and even failing two of my classes this may and having to change schools - I'm doing better than ever in the new school with a ~4.0-4.5 GPA and I don't feel the burnout coming even though I'm studying more than I ever have in my past 12 years of education, soo.
I'm happy to rise together!
It doesnt matter what u do, as long as you do it with love
I spend about 8-12 hours per day on TH-cam trying to learn about everything because I haven't got a clear sense of purpose yet but the way to get a clear sense of purpose is to venture out of your comfort zone and get curious. Staying online all day isn't doing that. So i am going to make that effort within my limitations as a disabled individual to get out of my comfort zone.
Honey 💗
We can do this together!💪🏼💪🏼
Edit: how is everyone doing? Things are still hard for me but im trying (:
@@thisdoodo5957 Hell yes!
@@rochreech3173
This! Same.
For me binging social media or TV shows is a symptom of lack of motivation or fear for things I need to do, which stem from deeper issue like unhealthy perfectionism or self doubt. Not the other way around.
Not having to face our emotions through technology...Hm it sounds a lot like using drugs or alcohol. Its all about suppressing reality, emotions and problems. Just imagine how many of us are addicted to technology like this without even realizing it. its actually scary. Thank You for absolutely amazing video!
ESPECIALLY when we are trying to do something productive & beneficial by learning! LOL
Yeah and another important thing is that addiction to drugs and alcohol is something very visible (and stimgatized, I'm not going to judge if it's rightfully so or not, but that's the fact) meanwhile technology addiction is so overlooked...
Yeah because we have created world full of contradictions
👏
i realized it and i realize how i keep resorting to scrolling my phone when i re-realize it over and over again it’s really an addiction
So basically be nicer to myself and become more emotionally aware to stop myself from procrastinating and experience more negative emotions
@foamier so fucking true foamier
@Penguin Economics Absolutely. First do the work then reward yourself, many people do the opposite.
@@mrteco4236 Yeah of course it would be a "cherry on top" if the work also happens to be fun, but personally, sometimes it's really hard to convince yourself that work is entertaining. Especially if it is a boring office 9 to 5 work grind. And for me only a thought of reward at the end makes the work itself not exactly fun, but tolerable. Besides, I can't lie to myself, it doesn't work for me. Lying to yourself usually becomes a habit that then spreads to other aspects of life.
ahaha seems really easy said like that, but to actually do ... good luck to us !
But the negative emotions make up the majority of my emotions that i don't wanna experience :(
I’m doing it right now. Instead of getting things done I’m watching this video 😢
I don't mean to laugh but.... 🤭
Same, but it hits different. I think I'm signing off for a while. Too much to do, too little time. Even without the internet.
Doesn’t mean you can’t watch TH-cam. Just calm down and ask yourself what you want to do first.
Why Don't You Want To Do Anything After Binging 4 Hours of TH-cam Videos - Watches another video...
To all the people struggling rn, 18:30 Dr. k starts talking about something I learned very recently that lifted a lot of stress from myself. I got obsessive about trying to always feel better and be better and be healthier. But, I would never appreciate the hard work after I had done it. I would learn something new and tell myself it wasn’t enough and that I’m not healthy enough “Oh God, why is everything still painful?! Why am I still feeling bad?!?! I’ve learned so much!!” It’s because I never took the time, in my tough moments, to recognize how much closer I was to being the healthy and happy person I’ve been obsessed with becoming for so long. Don’t focus on where you want to be, aim there and focus on your every step instead because, in my experience, it did so much good to be more aware of my active efforts :). Thanks Dr.K and everyone
This is beautiful. I have become a much better/happier person (not that I wasn't before, but I felt like I entered a flow state in life) and I have recognized that, but haven't congratulated myself on that.
Thank you Sir
Be proud of the good things you do. Reflect on those good things often. Replicate that feeling. Profit.
People tend to do things that make them feel good. Motivation comes from your brain's ability to calculate whether or something is worth doing or not. Whether or not something is worth doing or not is most of the time defined by how good it will feel to get where you're trying to go.
Therefore, it makes sense that you do need to take the time to feel good about what you're doing, or else you end up where I am: Using willpower to drag yourself through the dirt that is daily life lol.
@@Avery-rs9hc thank you so much for writing this!
This video is hits so hard it hurts. For the past 10 years of my life I have been full blown addicted to TH-cam. The poster says 5hours...my watch history used to be 10,12+ hours a day, everyday. I started because I really struggled to make friends and socialize in school, I had a few friends but I was always jealous of people who had vibrant cliques. So I used TH-cam as parasocial relationships There was no risk of having rejection when watching people online so I was making up for feeling lonely and like an outcast. I was like...13/14 when I started, I started memorizing when people would upload in the early days. I would lie in bed for the whole day just watching TH-cam, I used to think all I needed in life was my phone, basic human needs and my wifi connection. I remember justifying it in my uni acceptance letter since I watch science TH-camrs. The internet also warps ur brain because u compare urself to like insane prodigies and lose confidence like I wanted to do art but didn't put in effort after looking online. Now that I'm in the working world I realized I missed out on YEARS of growing and relationships and is extremely blind to all things happening. I have no sense of time, and think that things take extremely long
Hey! I just wanted to let you know that you definitely aren't alone in having an early internet addiction primarily stemming from a lack of social connection. I have a very similar story to yours, except that I started at a much, much earlier age (I started from 8, yikes) and mine was moreso geared towards multiplayer games and online friendships than youtube and parasocial relationships. However, one thing I discovered when going to therapy, at least in the case of myself, is that we often retreat to the internet as a coping mechanism for high irl stressors. Was there possibly any traumatic events going on in your past while growing up? Family problems, abuse of any kind, body image issues, bad experiences socially, medical issues, mental health struggles, death of a loved one, social isolation? I feel like that although we may just chalk it up to our own personal and moral failings, there were often more factors at play that influenced our behavior. We were mere children back then after all, who tend to turtle inward into their shell when the world around them seems uncertain and shaky. I know for certain that my technology addiction stemmed from several traumatic incidents across my childhood snowballing into this monstrous ball of bad memories, and it sparked frequent crying, isolation, and social dysfunction. That was when I was most vulnerable to my addiction, and I'm wondering if you were also left more vulnerable than you thought. You may have been hurt more than you give yourself credit for, and it may have had long-lasting affects on you. I had a shitton of mental health issues, traumatic early childhood experiences, family issues, generational trauma, even personally falling out with the religion I was raised into. Naturally I had a boatload of raw copium in it's purest form to deal with, and that further fueled my need for companionship and dopamine, which I sought after through games. Playing from the second I got home from school, and it wasn't uncommon for me to get 0 hours of sleep for the next school day because I was up gaming, trying to seek comfort because I truly dreaded every school day. I was terribly fucked up mentally, and even made an attempt in my teen years. Chances are that life wasn't easy for you, and you deserve compassion.
@@kyomado thanks for your comment, you were not alone with this. Many of us had to deal with that.
you’re not alone, i feel you 100%! we’re in this together.
@@kyomado you’re not alone, thank you for this comment ❤️
Wow I just wanna give everyone in this thread a big online hug 🫶🤗🥺
Thanks!
It's insane to me that we are all now openly admitting to spending upwards of 5 hours straight in a day on TH-cam. For me, there are so many things about this in my life that, as you say at the end of the video, are simply getting out of control. That's a perfect way to put it. For me, the self loathing centers majorly around the proven (to myself) fact that I know EXACTLY what I personally need to do to be the best version of myself and to achieve or begin to achieve the goals i still manage to have somehow. It's that I'm NOT stupid or handicapped or in any way lost or unclear about what the path out of this hell looks like, where it's located and what tools i need to bring with me in order to successfully traverse it but I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO GET MYSELF TO DO LITERALLY ANYTHING some days and it is mentally EXCRUCIATING and EXHAUSTING. I am SO incredibly hyper aware of the scarcity of time and how fleeting the part of life where you are reasonably young and attractive and mobile and mentally intact is and i feel it passing by the second while at the same time i also squander so much of my time doing nothing and going nowhere and then even more time feeling like a POS because of it. I violently resisted TH-cam for many many years and i can't remember how i ended up finally giving in and starting to watch videos here and there but i can tell you that at this junction in my existence, i feel i cannot be without something playing in my headphones at ALL TIMES and 95% of what i listen to isn't music which has become so frustrating and cumbersome to do (but that's a topic for another comment) What worries me is how naked and anxious i feel instantly when there's nothing playing in my headphones. Like, what is that even about? Where did THAT COME FROM? So much more to say on this topic but this comment is already WAY too long!
I'm in the same boat as you
I am you.
I use TH-cam over 12 hours a day
@Jay Severely.
@Jay that actually is really good advice especially on shows or movies with plots (stay away from light novel Isekai my fav). Picking something that actively is engaging and is a single activity is good for you. Keep the phone away and focus on a single thing too.
I've definitely had a lack of awareness recently, I will just refresh youtube over and over. Which is weird because its not enjoyable in the least and I rarely find good videos like that. There's this dim sense of why am I doing this, I wish I could stop. But once it starts It feels like I'm not in control anymore. The fact that I clicked on this video is a good sign that I'm getting some awareness back again. It usually goes in cycles like this for me. It really is all about awareness, certain platforms can just take advantage of a lack of awareness and highjack your attention.
Yeah, I refresh and refresh. I have 30+ tabs of youtube videos I told myself I would watch that I probably won't ever look at again but yet they're there, staring at me.
@@goldenegg7447 I'm sure there are a lot more of us.
The “anterior insular activity” making us less aware is terrifying and what’s even more terrifying to me is how he mentioned how it’s involved in orgasms… I don’t know if this is actually why, but when I used to binge watch TH-cam terribly in college and get very anxious, I started to have to orgasm to relief these feelings, it was terrible.
@@marthaharding2983 its called unhook. it helped me remove all recommended videos so i only watch what i search for now which is a godsend
I would if i could but i cant uninstall it from my phone..
I see people complaining that his videos are long but people are not realizing that we have developed such short attention spans
I feel your videos give the space for us to think for ourselves while listening to you
and I think that space is what is important to get us out of these loops.
It prevents us from binging fast paced contents passively
22 minutes isn't even long, omg... TikTok/Microwave media culture really fried everybody's brains....
@@SOULarLioness fr im 15 minutes in and don’t think it’s long at all. very informative and helpful.
@@SOULarLioness he used to upload 1hr+ videos
Those people don't complain here, they are already 10 videos deep somewhere else
No pun intended I guess (lol😂)@Q-Susi
Personally, being aware of how people out there are engineering technology to make me feel this way, makes it easier to put down the phone or close youtube. Don't let them have power over you
That's a good thought
Thank you
Very true
Same! I think, "oh, you're not gonna profit off me today" and spite as fuel really works 😂
@@sana_saint based, exactly
this really made me realize something and pulled me out of a depressive state. i am absolutely unable to work in the evening or night, i’ll tell myself the entire day “yea i still have time i can start at 6. i can still start at 10. at midnight.. and so on and i just cant. ill end up doing nothing, spending my day on the internet. however, i noticed that if i start working early, i will be focused longer and easier and whenever i do take breaks i find myself bored, not wanting to do nothing, so ill continue my work, or randomly start doing chores, sort out my closet etc. im on a productive high and youtube bores me. the days i start off lazy, on youtube, i stay on youtube and everything else becomes boring, im uninspired etc. this made me realize why. ill try to work on myself, sorting out my sleep schedule and getting used to doing what has to be done FIRST before the internet catches and destroys all my attention. i had such a hard time focusing today and am once again close to dropping out of university just bc i cannot focus and dont think i can ever do this. this made me realize that im not the problem, my current lifestyle just is, and i firmly believe i have the willpower to turn this around!
update: pretty sure i have adhd
@@namelessidiot8132 crying at this update. but i hope u figure it out man
I did this when I was working on my thesis, but instead of not starting to work at midnight, I actually did start then or even later. I worked through the night and got in a good flow. I got a lot done and it felt great. Evening and night are the most productive time of day for me, and I've known it for a long time.
Yeah I I’ve noticed this as well. The thing is I’m able to sometimes study all night when i’m motivated but motivation is way too unreliable and depends on how excited I am about the task. That’s why I’m currently trying to fix my sleep schedule right now so I can give myself a structured work schedule and daily shutdown time. It’s always felt impossible for me to stick to a self imposed sleep schedule but this and a daily shutdown time are crucial I think. Especially when you work from home and make your own hours. I think having at least one non work day a week is important as well.
@@namelessidiot8132 hey did you get diagnosed cause don't assume their are many things we need to check before hopping into this scenario
You saved my life today. I’m not mincing words. Thank you, sincerely.
It feels illegal to be hearing all of this for free. Your channel is so valuable 👏
What a nice compliment! And, I agree! He’s such a valuable person and channel on TH-cam.
What should be illegal is publishing papers on consumer neuroscience... Like wtf
Using centuries of brain research to create a. Larger divide between the haves and have nots ? Wtf are we paying taxes for then ? To dig our own graves this is messed up and definitely aggravated me to my core
Yea, he knows what he's talking about. Much better than some of the other self-help stuff that has become popular lately.
If you want to procrastinate less and concentrate better on studying you can study with me here.
Instead of watching videos on youtube you can have a video of me studying and keeping you company, so you don't get distracted. You can make youtube into something useful instead of a distraction.
I study for 1-3 hours with breaks in between while I keep you company
If you're interested, feel free to study with study videos of mine
Hopefully it will be useful for you...
what are you on about? good information benefiting mankind on the whole should be free and be widespread so people can be better.
this is already terrifying in regards to teens and adults but imagine how detrimental this will be towards the younger generation and how the kids function when they grow up
Gen Z are already F*** up, gen alpha will be like phone zombies or VR headset zombies in the future.
@@yoyonis6840 literally dude. gen z are quite lucky as they weren’t shoved ipads in their hands at 6 years old, but we were still so young when iPhones were the norm so we’re still fucked. Feel really bad for the next generation who’s gonna be even worse.
Can't be any worse than knowing your society is collectively committing suicide and doing nothing about it tbh
Kids of today are fucked for a vast variety of reasons
@@JaddyOG @Hansbald All we can do is when we become parents one day, is to not let our kids use the internet until at least they are 14 years old and give them books instead. So they don't end up F*** up like others. Even Steve Jobs knew this coming, he didn't let his kids use his own iPhones. I mean now days people are confused of what is a woman and that apparently men can be pregnant. In the future if we don't stop it, our kids will be brainwashed, depressed and literally be attack helicopters.
@@LuluTheCorgi wouldn’t say “your society” its a collective society as a whole everyone has responsibility. however our generation has been more open to emotional wellbeing and mental health we cant always do much about it (in terms of not being able to afford therapy or other circumstances)
This will be the last video I watch on youutube thank you so much!❤ I’m done with the Internet. I’m so serious. I needed to hear this, thank you for all the love, the entertainment, the lonely nights where my hubby is sleeping bc he has to get up early for work & needed to distract myself from real life problems. This was my “me time” but now I’ll be reading or watching good tv shows for my “me time” and giving my hubby some extra “us time”. Although I must say, I always made sure to do household chores while engaging on TH-cam. Anywho, Goodbye youutube, it’s been a long run but our time is up👋
This is exactly what happened to me today. I had a day off work and I spent 8:00am - 3:00pm doing nothing but watch videos.. Felt like I completely wasted my day.
Then don’t waste your day
@@jayus2033 Gee, why didn't I think of that..
Moron.
@@jayus2033 literally this whole video is about how easy it is to waste your day lol
Damn, that's the last 3 months for me😢
Me too!😢 ❤
There’s a reason why people that work in big tech companies don’t let their kids have social media and tablets. One guy I really like to listen to speak on this is Jaron Lanier. Super fascinating stuff. He inspired me to get off social media for a year and that was really eye opening. I find myself actually having trouble being entertained by it nowadays which is a good problem.
I didn’t know that was the case, I’ll check him out.
Thanks for the heads up!
This video comes at a perfect time for me. Have been really trying to reduce my tech time, I have been thinking and reflecting on what a waste it has been.
@@thedog5k prepared to have your world rocked.
Wait so you…. Went cold turkey on the internet? Did you ever slip?
@@Breb1999 I deleted all my accounts and my apps and had the intention to be off forever. I pretty much lasted a year, I didn’t want to get back on but I’m an artist so I kind of had to. I still wish I could go off completely.
I did have TH-cam though because I like watching art videos and book videos. I didn’t really ever have the urge to get back on because I really became informed on the damage it was doing to me and I could see how it wasn’t ACTUALLY entertaining. I made sure to keep busy and fill my time with art and reading and other hobbies. I was also working a lot so that helped and I was taking self defense classes like 3x a week. My mental health was in a relatively good place with all the exercise and good food I was getting. I imagine it would be harder for most people, my lifestyle just really was ideal.
My biggest tip if you’re trying to cut back is to journal / stay present with your emotions and to keep busy with hobbies and work that better you as a whole.
just a year? do it completely
What a great video! Thank you for the explanation on this topic, Mr Kanojia!
The video has given me added value, so I would like to give something small back :)
I feel like for most of this video I was like “yeah yeah I got it, I sit down and can ask myself how I feel and I feel BAD. I don’t want to do it. Then what?” And the idea of ‘acknowledging the sacrifice’ is such a revelation. Allow yourself to admit that it’s hard, and you are doing a hard thing, and thank yourself for doing that hard thing.
Is that the only solution
Yeah I had the same big takeaway
@@veronicabanales5255 nah
beautiful summary!
But then what do you do when it's stuff you want to do, but just can't get yourself to do it? I would certainly prefer to even play games which I tend to enjoy, or do whatever else that I like, and yet I end up watching TH-cam for 4 hours (well more like 6 usually) because it seems like it's the only thing I can do.
that's insane, Whenever I watch videos even if it is just a 10-minute video, I feel like I become unaware of my surroundings, I feel like I'm disconnected from the world, and the act of doing that everyday for a lot of time made me feel like if I'm on drugs 24/7 to the extent that my life was falling apart and I'm not even noticing it like everything was fine. I'm trying to overcome this addiction and it is really hard, these technologies are stealing our lives
You'd be justified if you fold clothes while watching
Tip bro. Don't watch informative videos. Just listen and do something productive
Truth
It's the effect of self awareness the more self aware you become the more miserable you get
so my advice is give yourself a schedule and just don't be on your phone or computer at all times take a walk read a book or just take a nap
@@M24071Ahhh, so that's why I'm miserable, I'm too self aware. Better get on Utube!😂
for 2 months i have been watching all of your videos and it helped me immensely Dr K. I have been diagnosed with major depression, severe anxiety disorder and late diagnosed ADHD. But your perspective about logical thinking about emotions and dealing with them, processing with them...
made my traumas smaller. thank you. you will never see me and you will never know me but already you did more than anyone had been or has been in my life. I am bittersweet and it is life.
i am genuinely convinced every single one of my problems can be solved if i stop using the god damn internet and social media so much. fuck.
Same
Bruh I'm on year 3 of social media detox and I'm finally getting my shit together. It was muserable grtting here but i am so much happier for it
@@radioactivecrayon7194 I just want to use it for good reasons. Not needless scrolling.
Interestingly I used to feel the same, but turns out constant internet use was more a symptom of the problem, than the problem itself.
Maybe think about _why_ you use the internet so much. And if there's anything you can do to help with that. (Like for me, I needed heckin therapy not just less screen time lol)
@@justanothercomment it's an escape from reality, is what it seems
I'm an adult women who is getting a diagnosis for adhd. I find myself watching youtube all day to pass the time and help numb my brain. I just don't know what to do day to day. I work full time and I need a break from it on my days off. But watching youtube can't be the only solution.
i relate to you exactly.
Ohhhh i felt this!!!
Yeah I literally don't know what else I can do
my situation is so similar to yours
You’re just like me except I’ve been trying to get my first job, and since I have no car I can’t go anywhere either 🥲
Omg this is so insightful and profoundly helpful. I’ve struggled with internet and technology addition and anger management issues for YEARS AND YEARS, and this feels like the “cure.” Thank you so much for making this video (I listened to it while folding laundry. Yay productivity.)
The suppressing uncomfortable emotions by distracting yourself with the internet is very true! Sometimes when I feel really shitty, like I'm stuck on a problem or am angry because of a disagreement with my parents, I shut myself in my room and surf the internet.
And like I can physically feel myself relax by distancing my mind from those intense emotions. After I'm done with my binge, I barely even remember what caused me to feel bad. Very scary when the realisation hits.
The easiest way to stop a TH-cam addiction and fix your life in general is to add as many steps between yourself and what's troubling you. Make it difficult enough to where you cannot just "hop on for a sec". Make yourself not want to go through the effort of doing what you know you shouldn't be. For example, I used to have a TH-cam addiction a while back, and the way I fixed it was to make it so TH-cam never remembers my password, and then setup 2FA on the account, and then 2FA on the account that the first 2FA email gets sent to. I have to type my password, and go through two different 2FA's, logging into 3 emails every time I want to login to my TH-cam account. And to control my temptation to go to the website without logging in, I made it so my web browser doesn't autofill or save history. That way, I don't see TH-cam as an option on the quick access tab, and it won't autofill the search bar if all I do it press the letter Y. I also uninstalled TH-cam from all mobile devices.
Yup. I deleted Netflix and I’m finally going to sleep at reasonable times. Debating deleting TH-cam off my phone now...
I guess that's the digital version of locking the candy
@@dovahnok locked and put on the tall shelf lol
This is brilliant. I already did a version of this where I uninstalled the YT app and simply use my mobile browser if I ever I need to watch a video (didn't work, still addicted as ever).
@@dogeseddy5513 dude I had tried that too. Now im trying to block youtube through screen time, now I spend 2 hours watching youtube instead of 5 every day.
My biggest solution to distractions in general is to have a separate space and to add a purpose to that space example: Today I'm taking my laptop to the public library to finish writing my resume instead of sitting on my computer at home and trying to do the resume but getting distracted on youtube or something.
That’s genius
I think what I took away from this, is that you have to have balance. It’s good to push yourself, even to your limits, but don’t be so hard on yourself when you don’t reach a goal. Talk to yourself as if you’re talking to a loved one you care about but in a manner of encouraging them to do better-even if the progress is little. Thank you for this.
Yeah this video was kind of dissappointing because there wasn't really any solution given or steps to take (although that's pretty common). I don't personally have the problem of watching hours of youtube at a time but I do waste a lot of time on it. But toward the end I was starting to think that in explaining the problem and its causes and the mechanism for why the problem persists, it kind of gives insight and motivation for actually getting yourself out of that cycle while having self compassion for yourself. Understanding a bit about the nerology of the changes to the anterior insula after watching a lot much youtube helps you give yourself a break and develop the self compassion required, and from there hopefully the motivaiton to get yourself out of the cycle
@@ocean6462 solution is within yourself; it’s a balance and I’d suggest you just take a step away from technology or starters just your phone
I think I saw another video a few days ago, it was about the inner voice that can harm yourself, where a commenter put it very beautifully (and funny): "If I overheard someone talk to someone else like my inner voice talks to me I would call the cops." I think the first step is indeed small, and indeed don't punish yourself for not being productive for a day, the road up isn't linear
It doesn't exactly help that in a fair few cases, being able to afford to live the next month is dependent on reaching certain goals...
Do your best and self heal. Why self heal? Because our perfectionism and self harshness stem from the poor treatment we received in the past
Find it weird but this affect is actually why I think I like watching TH-cam before bed with the screen off.
I end up falling asleep really well because I’m not over thinking my last day and just vibing with the video in front of me.
I have been doing the same thing, i thought that I couldn’t sleep without listening to something. it effected my sleep efficiency; because for example when a music turned on suddenly after i fall asleep i wake up.
I alternated this habit with reading, i read until i can’t resist sleeping. Try it i think reading is more beneficial 🤷🏻♀️
@@en90n i think it woupd be beneficial to set a sleep timer for the music to go off and not keep running, i also cant sleep when theres still something running like music or tv. reading is actually a great alternative and probably a lot better that any kind of sound or screen, youre right
@@malecee I meant with music, for example when I'm listening to a podcast or a story on TH-cam and the presenter's voice is very calm, and suddenly there's a loud, awful music ad. Lol 🤣
Regarding procrastination, for me the number one factor really is the feeling that what I'm doing has to be perfect. I feel like I won't do it right and that's what keeps me from starting on something.
But realizing that that's what's happening usually helps me get started. Even if it has to be in small steps at first!
Yes it happens to me in school work, I try to start but can’t because nothing seems to be perfect enough, then I tell myself: who cares if it’s perfect just do it to learn ,
I just do it no black and white thinking and have a lot of fun, (yeah sometimes school proyecta are fun)
Perfectionist and procrastinator here, I fell you. Its many times those small steps that help.
Thank you for this. I feel the exact the same thing and i hate it
Yeah awareness leads to change we have to be aware
This happens a lot with me and home projects. I'm also a tightwad when it comes to money, so that is another reason I want it to be perfect. I know that I can learn from my mistakes but making mistakes is expensive, especially in today's economy.
The most terrifying thing about this video is that I got it in my feed by chance. Who knows how many more days, weeks, months, years it would take if I just didn’t stumble upon it today.
5 hours on youtube/gaming? Rookie numbers
Buddy doesn’t even know what rock bottom is 🤣
Thank you for not taking advantage of the internet attention market by cutting the short pauses between Dr K's speech. Hearing this raw version is so much more impactful.
Yeap, the manipulations, that are hidden behind the "we just do the good stuff for you guyz" (entertainment etc.) is obvious for now.
But "technologies" are used not only when you're in a bad mental state.
That's an awfully-manipulative thesis itself, that can affect on people's conclusions, bcs the logic of it says:
*_People = good. Technologies = bad._*
no he should cut pauses
no he should cut the pauses
@@ZachStarAttack definitely should not. Cutting those pauses contributes directly to the issue of shorter and shorter attention spans
Just like to mention that i spent years addicted to technology and beating myself up for it, but instead recently I've made the conscious decision to not beat myself up when i spend all day doing nothing, and interestingly enough it leads to having more "productive" days where i really work on what matters to me m
Thank you for this video. I'm sure there's many people who wish to decrease their screen time and your video will help them.
One thing to add is how a lot of videos sell you productivity. They tap into your frustrations on your lack of achievement/ productivity by selling you how to do things. In your example of bush crafts it is how to be self sufficient killing/catching/eating. In other videos it may be this is the most successful (productive) way to play this game, or to complete this DIY project.
Again, thank you for your video I'm sure it'll help a lot of people.
I'm off to watch another video now...
Just want to take a minute to let you know, despite my awareness of the fact that this comment will get lost in the sea, that your amazing content has been life-changing, and that is an understatement. This year was so challenging, from a breakup to opiate withdrawal and suicidal ideation in tandem with a major depressive episode.. Therapy has helped a bit but it's really your wonderful content that has truly helped me lift myself out of hopelessness and despair. In my perception, you literally saved my life. Thank you so much.
It's good you're still here. It must have been very difficult to overcome all that or to even find the strength to try, if I was you I would be very proud of myself :)
Bro , you look like a gigachad
@@soy_boy69 LMAO well this picture is a quasi-meme I used here during my blunder years but hey I'll take that compliment from you for myself sir, please and thank you :)
I see you. Congratulations on your very hard work.
As someone who has dealt with ADHD, anxiety, and mild depression, the best thing I ever learned how to do to take action, is to learn how to do things without pushing myself to do them but falling into action. It's hard to get for the first time but once you've felt it you can repeat it again. It's almost like a numbing of the mind and a letting go. I think a good way to start is counting down from five and then acting.
I call this a trigger and action like scrubbing the sink as a logical next step after turning on the kettle, with the tea as a reward
This is really concerning and frightening. As a digital native, I'd throw away entire days on TH-cam or other social media. I would always blame myself. I still believe it's my fault, but it's validating seeing how the system is maliciously curated to do this.
The part that IS your fault is the part of you that doesn't check yourself and remember that the tech is vying for your attention. In this situation, knowledge is power. Don't let yourself forget that the internet is a tool, and the playground we built here is trying to suck you in. Take ownership of your decisions and don't let the tech do it for you. The part that isn't our fault is that we come stock with certain psychological mechanisms that are very well understood and manipulated. So, now that we've seen this content, let us all not be manipulated.
You can only be manipulated when you are unaware. Good luck
I started watching TH-cam when my dad was terminally ill and died in 2018. It helped me stop thinking about it all the time. The same again when my mum passed.
But that has become an addiction that I didn’t realise was doing so much harm until recently. Unfortunately, it doesn’t selectively block out only the bad bits of life, it blocks out everything.
Yes, you’re not thinking about the bad stuff, but all the time you should be pondering and working out what you need to do to be a functioning human is also taken up.
Then your motivation is slowly sapped and that spreads through all aspects of your life.
Yea at least with mild altering substances the most common ones you are totally fine the next morning. No impulse to take a gummy at 7am but we sure will roll over snooze the alarm and open TH-cam.
In my experience, the reason I do not start to do something like studying and instead watch youtube is often that I actually don't even know how to start. Like I have to study. But like, what do I even have to do for that? Planning To Do Lists have definitely helped with that, especially since I can seperate the things into small chunks that are not too overwhelming.
I’ve been there too 100%, we’ll still there except I’m not a student anymore
Exercise has helped me a lot with this problem. Meditation or deep breathing has helped as well.
Thank you, this is excellent advice, and I appreciate you for making it available for free to anyone.
Whenever I feel the need to binge on something unhealthy, when I am in a good state of mind, I remind myself that I do not need these things, I will be perfectly happy without them, and if I am wrong and do need them, they will be readily available whenever I want. I can go and do the more nourishing thing in the meantime.
This is a great comment. Thank you.
Lovely insight, thank you.
Thank you
I am going through this. I am alone most of the time so I use social media more. I don't have enough friends or family around me so it makes it worse because that's the only way I find comfort. But I hate living like this. I waste more time than ever and now I am depressed I don't know how to get out of this.
Try make schedule, what you want to do
Start with taking walks outside. You need to connect with nature. It’s not normal for us to be engaged with technology like this. It’s so bad for the brain and hormone balance. Move your body by speed walking (if physically possible) and getting sun exposure and fresh air. Touch grass…literally. Be well my friend! I was feeling like this a few months ago and I feel a ton better. Now I treat social media like a horrible drug that I’m rehabbing from😮💨
"I want to be perfect like everybody else..." Man nobody is perfect and has their life all figured out. We're all just figuring it out day by day.
The untethered soul - A book I can really recommend when it comes to conceptualizing "awareness" and "conciousness"
this tends to be the cause of depressive episodes or comes hand in hand with it. Try start your day without screen time and its much easier to be productive. I have this problem ALL THE TIME and I’m still managing to do a pretty involved degree so don’t worry it’s ok we all get like this and it’s not ur fault ❤
More psychiatrists should be like him. Too many doctors choose psychiatry because the residency is among the less-demanding in the field, and work-life balance is attainable. It leads to a lot of shitty psychiatrists who phone in everyday for a patient population that require a deep amount of empathy and special consideration.
This is so true. I've literally never even met my psychiatrist in person because she just video calls me every month. Also she's at least 5 minutes late every single time and never acknowledges it or apologizes for it, so right off the bat it feels like she doesn't care about me.
The psychiatrist I saw gaslit me and so I've never gone back to her. I'm trying to work up the courage to seek psychiatric care for my ADHD, I'm afraid of having a similar experience. I've lived my life for 30 years without medication, I want a psychiatrist that only wants me on meds that help and that is willing to help me not uproot my whole lifestyle for it
@@lilwaffleiron7845 Tell her then. If you don't tell her it feels disrespectful to be on time, then she will continue to do so.
@MiniPeen-dc3qo Good point, but not everyone has the option or time to do so. They are still people and some will be late even though they're very good at their job, unfortuneatly.
Thank you. I appreciate this.
Note: There are beliefs that are better/right/true, even when compared to others. You can still believe this and not be so black and white in your thinking processes, because Truth is not subjective even though we push it to be.
John 3:16. God bless you and the reader ❤
I've been averaging 7-8 hours a day of TH-cam for this week. It's been about 4-5 hours a day for the past 5 years, and while I have learnt a lot from it, there is so much I could have done instead. Thanks for the video, I'm going to be kinder to myself
I know in this video, Dr. K talks about addressing underlying emotions etc. But for those that do struggle with this and their video consumption is on desktop, I highly recommend getting an extension that blocks the TH-cam recommendations page, and also the sidebar on videos. It's by no means perfect, but it does help :)
Edit: Yes, I am well aware that this is not a solution to the issue. Of course address the underlying emotions as Dr. K says in the video. This is simply another barrier to falling into bad habits. The process of addressing those emotions is not simply a black and white process. Maybe doing this just takes the 6 hours wasted and turns it into 4. It's still worthwhile.
Thank you for the tip! Do you know any good extensions to do that? Would be really greatful
@@red_velvetcake1759 The one I use is called Unhook
@@Michael_Shay Just enabled it. Thanks for the tip. Have a great day!
I can recommend this too. (For Firefox users, I can recommend the extension Unhook.) I think it's similar to the advice to remove snacks from your pantry if you're going on a diet - it's not necessarily going to suddenly make it easy to eat healthy every day, but it can add one "barrier" to the negative behaviour that you're trying to stop. Ultimately though, as genuinely helpful as tips like this can be, we have to try to solve the root cause of the problem!
@@Hemlocker You're absolutely right, it's all about adding a barrier
Thank you! I have 2 cases and 10 reports to do, but it's Saturday, so I just watched TH-cam and Netflix and video called my husband. Thank you for this video!
I have struggled with this a lot in my past so I'm glad it's finally being talked about. My tendencies use to suck me into watching TH-cam everyday... It felt so good and I enjoyed the people I watched so much that I didn't want to stop. Then, hours later, when I took a break I just felt like doing absolutely nothing. I dreaded doing every single thing(literally everything) other than watching TH-cam. It was a really bad vicious cycle in my life for some time. I still have problems from time to time but, for me, I've found the thing that seems to work. It seems obvious but it's an "out of sight out of mind" mentality. I just focus when I wake up in the morning on the things that I could do that aren't youtube. Not on how to avoid watching TH-cam(this is crucial). From time to time the thought of watching a video pops into my head, but I just refocus my energy back to what I was doing. I have go to things that are essentially "time wasters" for when I'm craving to watch my favorite TH-camrs. Things that you could spend hours doing but aren't necessarily unproductive either. I've thrown balls at the wall for hours at a time(slight exercise), meditated(peace of mind), went outside to feel the sun on my skin(I just love this haha), I even just threw a pillow around my room for like 30 minutes once(some exercise too depending on how big your room is.). Just simple and stupid things so TH-cam is out of sight and out of mind. I keep doing these things until I feel naturally motivated to do something that isn't watching youtube. The boredom usually takes care of that. Although I actually am quite entertained by my "time wasters" and I usually get inspired to do something while I'm doing these things. Find something that is a passive activity where you can think while doing it so you have the possibility of be inspired by thought. When I say inspired I mean any thought that has motivation backing it. In those moments I don't think, I just do those things with that little motivation boost that I got from it! I plan my day every day from the start with these time wasters! So it's not really a waste of time at all! 🙂The biggest key to all of this though is to be patient with yourself. You obviously won't be able to kick a set of tendencies and a habit immediately. Your mind will gravitate towards it over and over, do your best to refocus your attention on a time waster or something else. You will slip up every now and again. The quicker you accept this and be okay with making a mistake every now and again the sooner you can move on and do the things that you truly want to do.☺but even being able to forgive yourself takes time and patience. I hope this helps any of you who are or have been struggling with this and I wish you all the best 🙏 have a good day 🙏 Oh and take all of this with a grain of salt. I'm still learning and if you pick apart what I say and apply your own experience and knowledge then you could probably make what I do even better! I believe in you 🙂but then again if you have these issue's, like me, then your mind will probably reject that idea all together. Also this is all practical advice. When it comes to your mindset, emotional state, or any circumstantial dependent things then you need to listen to yourself and respond in a way that works for you. Like Dr. K said in this video. You need to be aware of your emotions in order to looks past them. Awareness is crucial.
Thanks for sharing!!
You might appreciate to know that I actually screenshot your comment to save it.
Thanks!
@@SIC647 Of course, I'm glad it could help :)
I go through this hole cycle every day. I start in the morning, when I'm super tired, to let myself wake up. Then, as I wake up, I let it play in the background, while I am getting ready for the day, which I always intend to do, bright and early. But the more I have to face going outside, face, my adult responsibilities, the more excuses I give myself to do stuff around the house, change my outfit, whatever. It is only as I continued to consume more caffeine, and the knowledge that there are things that I HAVE to do or my adult life will fall apart, and there will be real world consequences, do the scales tip to full-blown anxiety, when I am finally able to push myself out the door in almost a frenzy, trying to get an entire days to do list worth of stuff to accomplish in two hours.
I have gotten to the point where I know I need to be able to sit with my thoughts and feelings, and process. It's just so much easier not to.
Me too I really resented myself for this but I won't blame myself anymore ❤
@@sarahfromtheneverland9001 honestly it's SO comforting to know that I'm not the only one in this cycle!
Sometimes I put reminders/alarms in my phone if I know that I have a lot to do the next day, so that during that cycle I am more aware of the time and the obligations I have. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. I am trying to use it as more of a reward, for after I get my responsibilities done, but it's so hard to be alone with my thoughts and feelings, especially anxiety.
Thats EXACTLY the same life i live
This is me , who get distracted on youtube for many hours when sth is needed to do.This is an aye-opening to hear and I will try to break this cycle from now on.Thank you so much.
This is a very interesting video, I always say my laziness, self acknowledged ADD and lack of self control regarding instant gratification are the reason I am unable to do the things in my life I know I need to do to make it better. But never am able to actually get things done unless I'm already in a bad position, it feels as if I need to be down bad to pull myself out of this mindset to get something done. The lack of self awareness is something I would've never assumed was a major factor in this character trait. Thanks Dr.K, hope you do more video on this!
You're not alone
You just articulated me. I have no will power to work when life is comfortable, which inevitably leads to it being uncomfortable, which inevitably leads me to work very hard to become comfortable again. Dumb and annoying describe my situation best.
I know why I go down the rabbit hole. It shuts my brain off. I don't have to think when I'm watching tv or playing a game or researching something on youtube. It gives my brain a break. I used to have alcohol but since I don't drink that anymore I get zero relief from the constant anxiety, depression, and mental exhaustion that comes with everyday life. It's clear I have a disorder of some kind because normal people don't experience life like this. I eventually get to a point where I eat horrible food (for the feels) and or completely extricate myself from anything that makes me think about stuff. I usually combine these into a weekend binge of TV and bad food options but its never like I actually rested. I am still just as exhausted after that huge waste of time. Only now I have gained weight and haven't made any progress towards my goals so now I feel worse. I have a meeting set up next week. I hope I can get a proper diagnosis and some kind of solution other than meditation because there is no way I'm going to meditate.
lock yourself in a room until you don't
@@AnEnderNon Horrible advice
"and what is being bought in the attention marketplace ? YOU ARE"
you are the goat my friend! you are changing people's outlooks for the better everyday and for that i commend you
You are changing my life. The irony that I found this video during my nightly TH-cam mind numbing session to avoid my emotions while I do tasks I don’t want to do was not lost on me. You gave some really great advice as to how to address it.
*I understand this channel isn't a substitute for therapy.*
I want to thank you for your material Dr. K because your wording, demeanor, patience, and general understanding with kindness is really getting through to me on things I've ruminated over all my life, I'm 29 now.
I talk about your videos to my therapist weekly.
I am currently doing exactly as this video explains, and have wasted the last few hours on my phone when I need to work.
There really is a great importance with how a messenger relays certain messages, I've been through a lot of mental health doctors in my personal life and you are really unique.
I could go on forever, thanks again Dr. K. 🤞🏻
I still don't get how to go about this. What was advocated to do once you realize you're on the good ol' youtube/internet binge? Kinda confused tbh. Wish you the best with your journey btw.
Your videos are so useful. My addiction comes from the need to know everything. There are so many informative videos out there that I feel like I'm missing out if I'm not scrolling/watching. I am now listening with earbuds while I do my chores. I think this helps a little. It is easier to turn it off then, once I'm engaged in something else.
I barely use social media anymore. I use my phone actively by searching up stuff I actually want to do (read, learn, watch movies, listen to podcasts, play games). I feel SO much better, it's insane how much mindless scrolling can affect you.
Same. Mind you i still have my low points and give in. But getting rid of social media apps on my phone was the most freeing thing, because doomscrolling on tiktok or instagram feels disgusting, im lucky i never downloaded tiktok knowing how addicting it is to ppl. Becuz rlly theres no need staying on insta just for a few ppl possibly talking to you, find some texting app. Idk even if its watching movie by myself it feels 100x more enjoyable in the end, that or reading, listening to music etc.
For a while I spent a lot of time every day going outside to read in the park, and while im kinda giving into tech addictions now, its definitely something i recommend to ppl. Reading might seem boring but god in the long run it can rlly make u feel a lot happier about life. and it gives u a good excuse to be outside
This video really dropped at the right time. I've been struggling the past weeks if not months working on projects alone in home office with entire weeks going by doing literally nothing. Distracting myself because I know deep down I got nothing done. Calling it quits and feeling tired before even doing anything because I gave in to letting myself get distracted. Self soothing myself in TH-cam and the like while self loathing myself at the same time. Last sunday I brought myself to at least do something instead of playing some video games with friends although I wasted hours before. Already feeling better. This video helped to reinforce that thinking and being more aware as well. It's a step by step progress. I hope I can continue thinking this way.
The thing about doing things over the weekend was spot on. I have tons of work to catch up to with colleagues waiting for me and some deadlines though it's probably better to think about the things you got done than to think about everything you haven't done.
Cheers Dr. K, you're a life saver and I really appreciate the work you're doing. I will try out your ADHD and meditation courses the coming weekend though I dislike that I have to use a Discord or Google account for that.
Edit:
The thing with me though is that I am kind of a perfectionist at heart. I need to tone that down though I am not sure how. What stops me most of the time is facing a difficult problem (I develop software) and feeling despair and frustration because I can't find that perfect solution to the problem at hand. Or it's some trivial task where I tell myself I will do it later. Most of the times I feel overwhelmed or underwhelmed and not bother.
Man, I really feel you
I'm also a developer and gamer, and last week has been so hard to focus on work, and not playing something or steam or watching something on TH-cam...
I also higly suspect I have ADHD, so it's really hard to manage
@@oscaralthausen5750 I really relate to both of you. I realized recently that I probably have ADHD too. Meds (mainly stims) help a bit, but it's even harder to pull away from things like TH-cam if you do fall into the hole. Such a delicate balance to try and keep up all the time...
since you program stuff and is self proclaimed adhd, whats your advice for being able to mentally organize all those text you see on the screen?
@@roripantsu What exactly do you mean by "all those text you see on the screen"?
@@lolasdasdasdasdasdas how do you mentally process all whats going on with the coding on the screen? Because it feels like every single input requires you to know/remember what function does what and what its used for on a completely different line or tab and theres a a million of it. idk to me its like trying to formulate a bunch of different math formulas and make them work together is what makes my adhd brain hurt
I was watching youtube for 1-2 hours, playing games for 1-2 hours until 8 PM. I know I needed to work on my project. I'm not feeling well since the morning. And I ended up self-loathing myself and procrastinates even more and keep the self-blaming.
This video has helped me to realize what I need to do. Thank you for sharing this Dr. K! 🙏
Lol. The timing of this is hilarious. I opened Notion to write a journal entry last night bc I had a lot to say. Somehow got sucked into TH-cam for maybe an hour or so. Once I realized what happened, I turned my attention back to Notion, couldn't remember what I wanted to write about and just wrote a few lines about how I was going to write a lot but then TH-cam happened. That was the journal entry 😭.
I have struggled with procrastination my entire life, and I found it so interesting when you said that procrastination actually has to do with incorrect emotional processing and incorrect emotional awareness - I will definitely look into this deeper.
...tomorrow😄
....can confirm..have not looked into this deeper
Thank you. Part of me already knew this because I could see my hrs of staring at the screen was a form of escapism and self soothing to not deal with all the negative emotions that chronic pain has brought into my life, along with all the various pressures of life. But it is incredibly validating to hear all this. I hope this becomes a real key to help begin moving forward. Your delivery is also so compassionate. I liken this information, ironically found here on TH-cam, to someone opening the cell door for me and all of a sudden light coming into this prison. ❤️🙏
I've tried blocking TH-cam before but I always ran into having to use TH-cam for work. Now I just unblock TH-cam and Reddit on Wednesdays. I make notes if I need to look up something on TH-cam and Reddit for work and just look it up on Wednesdays only. This channel has helped me so much.
It’s been a brief test period so far, but I’ve found grayscale on my phone can help. It’s almost like a reminder of what I’m doing, hence giving back some level of awareness. I like the scheduling tho. Good on you.
@@thekevinfoster oh, you're saying you turn your whole phone grayscale? Not just the app icons? Because I just ignore gray app icons and just open them anyway. What do you use to make your phone grayscale?
@@evanstewy I know on iPhone you go to accessibility settings and color filters. Android, it’s probably somewhere on google. I ignore the gray apps as well. Grayscale may only help a bit, but it’s something.
Edit: seems like it’s under well-being and parental controls on android. It’s called bedtime mode there. Also should help with blue light stuff. Heard there might be some addiction research on that.
...but you said this on a friday
Seriously, I was about to say the same thing 😅
This is wayyy more helpful than the ducking anti procrastination videos
Actually. And the comment sections for those videos are even worse.
30 years old here, 2 summers ago i really noticed the impact of phone/youtube consumption which become a habbit during the pandemic. For me i began to get brain fog, vision issues, balance problems, speech issues, it really began to deteriorate me.. im still not completely recovered..working away from my phone and going to the gym really helps to reset, i cant be sure its directly linked but my life before the smart phone useage was completely different.
Anxiety worse
Self esteem worse
Personal relasionships affected
The list goes on
There's a real meta involved watching this on TH-cam and being aware of it.
They love to tease that there's an exit to the maze.
But you won't find it so long as you keep running and turning corners.
@@normanclatcher You are kinda missing the point. Nobody is saying watching half an hour of TH-cam a day will make your brain explode. This video is about people watching it for hours at a time
Moderation is key as with everything
(Which I personally suck at lol I'm definitely in the hours category)
@@LuluTheCorgi I'm also in the 'hours' category. My 'they' here is the algorithm, which wouldn't bother sharing something like this if it thought it posed a real danger to us continuing on as we've been.
Interesting video. I don’t find I have this with long form TH-cam videos, but short form, shorts, reels etc are absolutely murder on my ability to do anything else, to the point that I’ve actively attempted to remove them from my life. Keep up the great work!
I'm going to leave a bigger comment soon, but I just wanted to quickly say that I resonate so so much with this. I don't even know if resonate is the right word but I'm just so emotional about the fact that it feels like you're talking about my life.
TH-camrs telling me to stop watching youtube is the most confusing thing
Appreciate this! Currently at the end of a day-long YT binge while procrastinating an assignment due in an hour... SO helpful to remember that even as a soon-to-be physician, I'm still hopelessly outgunned by the algorithm and just to move on and not to beat myself up about it. Thank you! 🙏
Bookmarking this so that I watch it anytime I feel like I do now. This is the PERFECT video for me in this state. I get into it every once in awhile and it takes awhile to get out of it. This video sums it all up so perfectly and also helps me take the blame off myself. THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO MAN!
I was always a procrastinator during all my years of studying, in high school and in college, always the same. The interesting thing though was that once I actually started, then I was hooked usually and could work on for hours. And sometimes, I could even enjoy the subject somewhat. And the feeling afterwards was very rewarding. But the feeling beforehand was always full of negativity and tiredness, and especially if it was very hard subject (I have experience of quitting a program at college, because both too difficult but also not my passion) then I would feel even more difficult to even start studying or doing homework etc. TH-cam, games or whatever, is really escapism. I thought this exact word would be mentioned, although something similar is mentioned, but I feel the word escapism best describes why we go to TH-cam sometimes. It is because sometimes, the burden from your life and work/school, is too much. And the natural thing for your body to do then, is to try to block it off and escape! As for me, I think it's great that I can escape negativity. I know there is a reason for why I did it so many times. But I do not beat myself for it, I accept how I am. The only downside is that homework was not done until late, and that itself can cause more anxiety then making it earlier!
Absolutely! We're being robbed of our mental health and strength by so many different indirect sneaky means, that it's no wonder people can't navigate this modern mess of a life. So thank God channels like this exist.
why tho? He is just playing the same game like every other influencer/producer.
@@dizont Other influencers aren’t licensed doctors though. This man has spent years studying the human brain and how it works, his knowledge is very valuable and he’s giving it away for free. If he gets compensation from ad revenue, who cares? It allows him to spend more time streaming and making videos
@@colbyjackcheeser alright but in the end this not a lecture with a certified degree, it's entertainment video on an entertainment platform. So whether you watch this or some tiktok influence in principle doesn't matter. I mean he literally gets hype on troubles of the world, but what he does, cannot provide a quality help, because it's just not how therapy works ( I assume lots of ppl watching this need it)..
I'm just glad he mentions this fact.
I just wanted to thank you. This was so informative and incredibly useful.
I have a rule. If there's anything I ever NEED to do, I have committed to not do it. This sounds pretty weird, but it actually works really well for me. The thing is, if I absolutely NEED to do something, I can't not do it. Like, I NEED to follow the rules of gravity, and I can't just float in defiance. But homework? I can end up not doing it. But that's the thing, if I end up not doing it, and the world doesn't end, hell, even if I end up not doing it and the world DOES end, I still didn't NEED to do it, I just brought about the end of the world.
What this just does is forces me to engage with the idea that, no, I don't NEED to do the homework. Now it's a choice. I can choose to do the homework, or choose not to. Now another part of me is saying I SHOULD do it, and that SHOULD gets stressed into the NEED to do it. But there's another part of me that has a different take on it. Maybe it's scared, it's tired and it feels like trying to do it would be painful or so much work that's not worth the reward. Maybe it actually knows the truth, which is that if I don't do it, I'm actually pretty good at avoiding the consequences, and the biggest consequence I'm facing is actually right now where I'm letting myself feel bad about the challenges I'm having in doing it.
But when I engage in that, and it does turn into a choice, I try to listen to those sides, and I make the choice. So maybe I am tired, and I know that it will be a bit painful to do, and I know that it's not going to make a big difference on my grade, and I know that playing video games is a way for me to avoid doing an uncomfortable thing. So, letting myself do that is a valid choice.
But the weird thing is, as soon as letting myself do that is a valid choice, I don't actually need to play the video games to avoid doing the uncomfortable thing. A big draw of the video games is to avoid that shame and discomfort that comes from not doing the thing I NEED to do. But I can give myself permission to do that without having to try to avoid the feelings.
So this has the counterintuitive result of actually making me be willing to do the hard thing. Because why not?
I have another rule, and that is that I value my ability to do arbitrary things that aren't productive. I find the ability to practice choosing is more important than being super effective. Again, this means choosing to play a video game is a valuable decision. But it also means that so is doing the painful work that doesn't actually make a difference on my grade and is pointless.
I practice this all the time. Tonight I'm fasting. I traveled, and where I am has few options for food. Fasting is something I do commonly, off and on. I had some options on how to deal with the dinner situation, and I chose fasting. There's pros and cons, but the main pro is that I'm going to be uncomfortable and I'll deal with it. Cons might be what it does to how I sleep or feel in the morning. Pros of getting food would be exploring something new, maybe seeing new people. Cons being that I don't get to practice that tolerating discomfort. Neither is really a good or bad decision. I'll be fine both ways, but it's a decision, and I see value in doing the uncomfortable thing when it's not important.
This means, for me, when I remember these rules, I have a much higher likelihood of doing the homework. I don't do it because I have to, I don't do it because I'm motivated or because I'm confident and it's easy. I do it because I can choose not to, I do it because I can do the thing that is uncomfortable now or the thing that is comfortable now, and I choose discomfort.
Rarely is anything the right choice, or the easy choice either. Doing homework can actually be the easy thing. Doing your assignments means that you maybe understand the material better, you can maybe pass with a lower mark on the final exam. Not doing the homework makes the exam harder. Not passing the exam makes graduating harder. Not graduating makes building wealth harder.
If you let yourself recognize this, it's OK to not do your homework. It's OK to do your homework. It's OK to do half your homework. It's OK to do enough homework to learn some concepts but not finish it or hand it in. It's OK to learn the same material by doing other work that is not actually assigned to you and won't give you a grade. All of these things are different, they will cause different effects in the end, some are uncomfortable now and will make things uncomfortable later. Some are comfortable now but will make you uncomfortable later, and some will be comfortable now and make things comfortable later. You might think the last is what you should find, but how does that affect you? Does it mean you always seek the comfortable things? What do you do when you can't find the comfortable solution? When one doesn't exist?
To me the important thing is the awareness. If you choose to take the comfortable path that leads to the comfortable outcome, that's absolutely fine. If you do that every time, that's totally fine too. But what I personally value is that when it comes to a situation where you don't see a comfortable solution that leads to a comfortable outcome, that you don't just shut off your brain and make up a fantasy. You don't go and blame the world for not giving you the comfortable path that SHOULD exist. You don't just consider yourself broken. You don't just distract yourself and avoid the reality by not confronting it. And this is why I like to choose the uncomfortable option. It reminds me that I have the choice. I don't NEED to do the right thing. I can choose to pick the good outcome. I can choose to pick the bad outcome.
Because the alternate is a lie. If I have to choose the good outcome, because choosing the bad outcome is wrong, it's not a choice. It's simply something that must be done. But this isn't what actually happens, because we often don't choose the good outcome. So let's accept that. Accepting that helps to give us back our ability to choose at all, and when we can choose, we can choose the good outcome too.
Dude wrote a whole essay in the comments. This was a nice read though. 💯
👏
this was such a good read
You didnt need to write this essay. I didnt need to write this. Choose wisely.
“The more aware I am, the less likely I am to engage with TH-cam for 5 hours.”
Turn your phone screen to grayscale! It won’t solve the problem, but this is literally what I noticed. You realize it’s gray at some point, and sometimes that is a cue to get you to stop. Just one helpful tip.
Just try it for a week and see if it helps.
This was a really good video. I’m not proud to admit I’ve wasted entire days chasing the dopamine hit of consuming media through my tiny phone screen just to put off feelings that I couldn’t handle. Interestingly I have a “hangover” for the next couple of days when I do this where I chase the “hair of the dog” (more social media) and have to talk myself through extreme anxiety.
Woah, I expected some scolding after being in the same situation but this has been so comforting AND true and motivating. I can 100% feel it, most of the time I procrastinate (like right now lol) because I am scared of the task, the amount of work and possible failure. Damn
This video made me excited to work on my dissertation, which has been incredibly hard to sit down with, but very gratifying to work on. I’m way behind my predetermined schedule, but I still have quite a bit of time. If I remember, I’ll give a little update on how it comes together.
do that 👍👍👍
same situation here, good luck with your dissertation :)
Me too! Good luck to both of you :))
You can do it. Good job
I did the thing! I sent in my dissertation the 3rd, and I’ll be getting the results back the 24th
It's a digital alcohol (without hangover) or drugs. It allows to forget about your duties for a short amount of time in exchange to bad feeling at the end, which just short circuit the loop.
This was the most important thing I've needed to hear in a long time, thank you so much for this. I've been stuck in this vicious cycle for awhile and have gotten very little accomplished in my personal life. My working life is fine, but I have no life outside of it because of this cycle. "Dragging cattle" is the perfect way to describe it. For instance, I can't finish writing the books that I want to create, because I find it extremely difficult to muster up the effort to write even a few sentences. I hate feeling that way because I love writing, I love making up characters and worlds, etc. But it's become a chore, and then I ALWAYS reach for the TH-cam videos or video games to numb the annoying thoughts of "This is too hard to do." Hours go by and then it's time to go to bed for work in the morning, and I hate myself because I didn't write a thing. I didn't do a single thing productive. And this happens every. single. damn. day... I binge videos or run around in Fallout 4 for 5 hours (open world games is another perfect example of those 'attention markets' you explained!) I pushed all these negative feelings aside and wrote them off as self-diagnosed depression and being lazy, but you've explained that "attention marketplace" and I feel like this knowledge will make me more aware and I will break this cycle. Even if I have to lock up every single piece of tech I own for a few hours each night, and write my book with good old fashioned paper and pencil.
When I wrote my book, I used apps like *Cold Turkey*, which block access to social media sites for a certain amount of time, and then they unblock you. This helped IMMENSELY with getting and staying focused. I wouldn't have been able to write/finish my book (400+ pages) without these types of apps. Cold Turkey is for the computer/laptop. I don't know if they have it for the phone. I don't really use my phone for social media. I'm on my desktop/laptop most of the time. They probably have apps like that for the phone though. It's definitely worth checking out.
I'm in the same boat rn... It's rough too because then when I do get the motivation or force myself to sometimes l just have to reread all my work and spend hours nitpicking and rewriting stuff then by the time I get caught back up it's been a couple hours or something and I am already ready to do something else... Or I get there and can't think of what I had planned to do next story wise.. etc. Wishing you luck in your writing
Challenge made! I'm cutting TH-cam for the next 30 days to see how my life changes. I've wasted a lot of time on this as well, and I think it's time to experience life more. Thanks Dr. K. I'll be back soon!❤
How is it going?
@@t33lx10 I'm not the OP but just wanted to say that I went on an internet-diet. Allowed myself to use internet only for one hour per day from 7pm to 8pm. (of course exceptions could happen if I HAD to do something). Anyway, I started writing down things I want to do on the internet during that period of time and the list was surprisingly short :D First two days were horrible but after that the piece of mind returned and I could do stuff I actually wanted more easily. It also weened me off my phone and that has been a lasting effect. Unfortunately I'm scrolling youtube and reddit again.. I want to redo this.. it was really good for me.
oye come back and tell us .
I think he accomplished the mission.