Every. Single. Time. When I'm struggling with something, Dr K drops a video just about that He's definitely maxed out his telepathy skills and I'm grateful af
As someone who studied something 4 years in undergrad and then 6 years in grad school only to not use those degrees at all, I assure you it's not "wasted time," whatever that means. It took years for me to come to terms with this concept. Life is for living, experiencing, learning, etc. Studying something as interesting as architecture can never be a waste, even if it doesn't contribute to your ultimate career. We're so ingrained with the concept of "life = career" that it never occurs to us that a job can be the means to actually live life.
This is what got me grounded again back then, working as a computer engineer for hard drives. I started using some money for things that gives me creativity avenues and also using money to live life and gain new experiences.
@@hspinnovators5516 I want to go back to school for a degree (no idea what), I feel like it's the only way to live well with enough retirement money, but I can't take the debt.
@@deadinside8781 Entrepreneurship is worth it if you can focus the mind, then there's a lot of choice until you know for sure what to study. I think school was great to learn about a wide variety of topics, to discover myself and explore and to learn to think critically. But I've also seen people I know who didn't go to school and they already own houses, cars etc. Debt does set you back. I feel there's a lot more opportunities now ironically but the education system just doesn't adequately prepare us...I've been investing more in business growth and personal understanding. Harvard streams classes online.... there's alot more choices these days, it's alot of freedom....
i learned this from a driving instructor on youtube, it's his catchphrase "choose the best answer, not necessarily the right answer" and that lowkey changed my life lol
I'm so glad you didn't become a cardiologist, you've seriously changed my life. I think you have made more of a difference in my life than most people in my life if not you have made the most difference in my life. Thank you
If you honestly think that you'll look back in 5, 10, 20 years and think you did the right thing, you're doing the right thing. Don't hit 50 or 60 years old and realize that you should have chased your dreams. None of this shit matters so you have to live life the way you want to.
That's the most important lesson I take from this video. I was on the exact same boat as the redditor. Realised didn't wanna do architecture by 3rd year but felt obligated to complete it anyway. Completed it. Got a job, was way too much. Frustrated, went on a long ride to take a break, met with an accident. Still suffering a little from it. And all these years I'm stuck in this limbo. Architecture or passion. As a guy with ADHD, I already have 3-4 serious passions. And on top of that, after graduating as an architect, there's literally a 100 different things we can master in. So, I ended up doing nothing due to all the analysis paralysis. I do short term trading in the stock markets but it's all of research that I love, but not much required in terms of execution. And I hope to sell fine art prints of my photography this year finally.
My parents always told me that dreams will always be dreams and that its almost impossible to come true so I gave up on all of my dreams when I was around the age of 10. One of my biggest mistakes yet.
Yeah parents can be something else man, if I told my parents I wanted to be the best burger flipper at McDonald’s they’d still hit me with the “I doubt you got it in ya”
I wanted to be an archeologist. My mother said "what tare you going to discover that hasn't been discovered yet" She was a grown up, who never said they didn't know everything or was ever supportive. I thought she had to be right. I want to be a writer now, still do, but I relate is all.
One of my favorite mangaka, Tsutomu Nihei, studied architecture before doing manga. Now he's published several incredible works (which I think may turn out to be very inspiring to other storytellers) and had a few Netflix original adaptations. You never know.
I relate a lot to this video, here are the main points: 1. Fear of not making a mistake is what actually creates regret in your life. 2. Look at external factors as to why you're thinking "passion vs normal job". Part of why you might be feeling this way is that the company that you're working for sucks, or your colleagues suck or the project you're working on sucks. Maybe changing some of those factors might make the choice between "passion vs normal job" not seem as important, because in general your work environment has overall positive vibes. TLDR; It might not be the profession but your work environment that you dont' like. 3. In the same vein of the point above. Ask yourself why you are asking this questions of "passion vs normal job" now. Why not years ago when you were pursuing an education in that particular field? 4. You can't see the future, so how do I make a choice? "Wasted" time is the price to figuring it all out. How the hell are you supposed to know without even trying lol. 5. Try to come back to reality for a little bit. Look at the roommates you're living with, your parents, the people walking down the street, your neighbours. These are most likely people you've never heard about that are living "normal" lives. Keep in mind that the people we see on youtube, instagram, that are "successful" represent a tiny tiny fraction of the population. I don't think this is to discourage people from pursuing that but just to give perspective that just as a fact, most people don't have that lifestyle. 6. Recognize that you could be making a mistake. You need to dive in and try. 7. If you've invested a lot of time into a field, the safe choice would be to (If you're generally happy) to keep pursuing it while keeping your passion on the side UNTIL you feel ready to give up the other field. 8. How do I know I'm ready to leave that "normal" field? You've done it for a while and it just becomes so intolerable that it really just leaves you with no choice other than to quit it lol. Paradoxically...reaching this point will make you have no regrets because well... there's no other choice to make in your mind. 9. Unhappiness is going to be your compass. It will guide you through what you're supposed to do. Trying to avoid unhappiness ironically will set you back in terms of making a decision you will not regret. 10. Doing something that you don't necessarily like for a long period of time will develop a great work ethic. So if you do switch to something you're more "passionate" about it will give you a better emotional gauge since you can't base success on your passion/interest but your work ethic. 11. Financial stability is definitely important. 12. "Rest of your life" Mostly bullshit, you don't have to do something for the rest of your life. TLDR; 20:20 - 22:30 Summarizes it pretty well. 22:03 - If you've invested a heavy amount of time, think about the temporal circumstances that are making you feel this way and try to address those. Be ok with making a mistake. I think that's pretty much it. If anyone wants to contribute more to this you are more than welcome to.
Thank you. I'd like to ask you something. I didn't understand what dr. K tried to say on the 22:03 part about the temporal circunstances. Could u explain me the idea if possible? (English isn't my first language) Thanks in advance.
I love this video so much. When I was 18, I joined the military because; 1) my family was not in a financial spot to support college, 2) I was(still am to a degree) an irresponsible teen, and I knew I would've wasted my time and money, and 3) I didn't know what I wanted to do in life. Those 4 years I spent in the military helped me rediscover, funnily enough, a passion for art and storytelling that I'd suppressed because my parents had told me as a child that it wasn't a viable option. Now that I'm out of the military, I took advantage of college benefits and am trying to pursue my passion at an art school(I'd love to create comics/manga one day). I've still got my own share of hurdles but you most definitely do need to make mistakes to find out what's right for you, and those mistakes certainly do create an even more intense passion to chase your dreams
@CWhiz same here my anxiety takes over because I keep thinking of what's the right choice. Even though I know what I want wich is document my art online and work for galleries.
I feel like my whole life has been a series of people telling me “don’t be afraid to make mistakes” but then the world giving me every reason to be deathly afraid of making mistakes. Like it’s a nice thought but that’s not the way the world works. I can’t just cover my eyes and ears and pretend there’s no consequences for my actions
I think the key is doing things where the consequences are survivable. Try to cook dinner and you mess it up drastically, you can order takeout or make a frozen dinner/ backup plan dinner. In theory it would work to try one job for a bit and if it doesn't work out and you feel like it was a mistake or they fire you or whatever, you can start applying for a different job. Be socially awkward and the consequences are so minimal. Stuff like that. It's okay, and good practice, to make mistakes in art and while playing an instrument and learning and practicing at home. Try dating a person and avoid major mistakes related to too much commitment too soon but otherwise any experience that doesn't work out is a learning experience.
Personally, I came to accept that slow progress is still progress, I know I was talking to my friend about handling online school and her office job (she wants to do graphic design) and she chose to do both full time and ended up dropping out the online. I asked her "why not do part time online" and she was like "because full time is like 3 years and part time is 6 years" which fair enough but you always have to be realistic imo when it comes to responsibilities and what you can handle at a time, some people can juggle a lot of stuff at once, others not so much. If you feel like you can do 6 years and not 3 years, there's no shame in that, it's better to do slowly than just outright drop it and potentially never do it again because you can't do it fast enough. It's physically not possible for majority of people, we kinda need to eliminate the "you gotta be successful FAST or you will never EVER EVER be successful, YOU'LL BE A LOSER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE" kinda mentality in our society overall that is expected on young people and be more lenient. TLDR version: I believe in you 🙏
@@Couscous77 this is true and a main reason for me personally why I dropped out of art university, a lot of those in UK are just more about the money making business rather than actually educating students (9 grand a year as well 🙈). I myself have been self learning with the help of internet since then but apparently it's super hard for a lot of people, including my friend, to do things by themselves without a teacher telling them what to do, setting up deadlines etc. which might be terrible if you want to be a freelancer cause that's all about self discipline but not so bad about being hired in a studio with a boss.
Man the world has become a race. Everyone has this pressure to live your life to the fullest, earn a lot of money, and rush everything cause life is finite. Maybe is a generation thing. We internet users are now used to the story of that kid that made videos for a year and then became a millionaire and is retiring at 30. How things have changed, huh?
as someone whose been stuck in this mindset for years it costed me my sanity and lead me nowhere to it. Im starting to learn how to be more slow but deliberate in the actions of my life. Yes it doesnt make it any easier but we really need to stop thinking the unhealthy mindset that failure will be the end of everything.
Reframe your dream. You like storytelling- why? How can you relate that passion to any career. Scientists tell stories, psychologists tell stories, doctors tell stories- you can reframe those things. A 21 year old probably doesn’t know their lifelong passion. That’s something you develop and make.
With architecture it's also possible to tell stories. Say, working in historical restoration architecture, or being an architect specialized in designs meant to convey storytelling--maybe like working on the design of movie and theater sets!
I wish colleges had more people come in and explain there career paths, I think a lot of people who end up getting far in there career had jobs all over the place before they found what fit. Like if you are in your 20s or 30s you still have at least 30 more years of work ahead of you that's an insane amount of time.
I don't know sometimes a person has to do the work and realize that it isn't for them. I like writing stories but I hated to write when I was doing my law degree 😂
it's like standing at the pool or beach for the first time. you've dipped your toes in but it's so cold that the pain from the cold keeps you from going in. but will you even enjoy it? you will never know until you test the waters and experience it. and once you go in, and your body gets used to the cold, you finally try swimming and playing in the water. you can then assess if you enjoy swimming or playing in the water. had you have known this if you continued standing at the water? you are not wasting time by gaining this valuable data.
I felt this in my soul. You struck a particular chord because I grew up with a lot of pressure from parents to be "successful" aka go to a school, get a degree (in architecture), make a shit load of money and so on. "Oh Ian you're so smart, you're so creative and good at math, this would be perfect for you!" But it in fact wasn't, and I dropped out of a program after a couple of years. Then, I picked up a camera and started doing photography. My creative outlet found a landing point, ten years ago, and I haven't looked back since. Although, ironically, I have a "real job" I work as a retail manager, which is of course the safe job. Photography is my "passion". The same people who told me I wasted money on a camera all those years ago are now telling me I should be a professional photographer, but I'm not sure that would really work out either. Meanwhile, my "real job" has ebbs and flows, and some days I feel like I suck at it and maybe should've picked something else, when things don't go well. It's all so difficult. Anyways, your advice is pretty spot on. So thank you.
Architecture graduate here. Came from the most recent video, the one about "being spoiled". The advice about taking note of your day to day activies of a job is something that should be more talked about to young people in the midst of choosing their career path! It's honestly so important to match your personality to the type of work enviroment you want to work in. And relevant to the architecture field, since the shock between college and office work is a big factor in why a lot of people decide to leave the profession. I think it depends a lot on the context of your country too, since not all architecture jobs are well paid or have an ok office culture. I've related a lot to these last two videos and they've been really helpful. Seeing as it's such a common theme, especially in architecture, here's a bit of my story that might help someone: I finished architecture school from a sort of inertia - even though it wasn't my "passion", but it was presented to me as a safe bet that would fit my skills. Seeing as I was a smart artsy kid, being a painter, video director, or even just an interior designer was considered to be beneath me and things I could do after college anyway. So, two years of prep before college and I was burnt out out already and wanted to quit and switch paths right before admission. This only repeated at the end of every college year... The fact that I wasn't that passionate about it, coupled with probably an undiagnosed adhd made it even harder to get through college. Long working hours, a lot of procrastination and projects submitted the last minute. What kept me going was my curiosity in all of the different subjects that you had to study and a great collective. Plus, what I really wanted to do seemed so far away and scary and as time passed, the time and work invested grew. But it was obvious that people who were more passionate about it got better at it. Meanwhile, I was excelling at the humanities subjects, while being mediocre at the rest. If your heart's not in it, you'll face a lot of resistance trying to keep up with the people that actually enjoy doing it. And that resistance translates to a lot of wasted energy, shame, overall a bad mental and physical health space. Fast-forward, almost 2 years after graduating (so 8 years of studying it and one year and a half of working in three different offices) I realised I don't want to work in an architecture office enviroment ever again, from the same reason that Dr. K cited - you spend 8 hours or more in front of the computer, clicking away your day. Plus, it's reaaally underpaid for the amounf of stress and work you do, especially as a junior. So after I quit my last job, I've been working some projects as a freelancer, trying to have a more flexible work schedule and enviroment, while doing some photography and trying to switch to that more. I'm still interested in the theoretical and aesthetic part of it, thinking about how spaces or cities could be improved, but I realised that the reality of working at a desk full time is too static for me and painful to my soul. Also, I don't seem to mind sitting at a desk writing for hours, since I can atribute more meaning to that and get into a flow state. I've also realised that freelancing on your own is not that easy, can be lonely and working in a collective can be a good learning op. Also, trying to switch to something that I enjoy more hasn't been easy. I started to accept that and try to take it step by step, enjoying life along the way. And last but not least, making peace with the notion that those years were not wasted is important for moving forward - I'm grateful I got a good education in a complex field, which thaught me a lot. But thinking back, I wish I quit while in college and went down a different route, more suited to my skills and personality. I wish society didn't put all this pressure to choose a career path while in high school, especially long, complex ones like architecture, medicine or engineering. The burnout is real and some people actually get sick from all the stress and pressure. Also, a gap year between high school and college would've been a great idea, but in cultures where it's not common, people don't do it out of fear of remaining behind from their generation peers and losing friends. So, hang in there architecture students, or anyone trying to get in a competitive, high achieving field. Know that it's ok to have second thoughts, to even take a freeze year if possible, quit or switch to something maybe connected, even if it's deemed as a "less socially valued" field to work in. But it's best to take a decision, rather than mull over it endlessly and lose time and energy that way. Also, there are a lot of work branches related to architecture and, to come back full circle to the day to day activities bit, not all require working in an office. Maybe you want to continue in academia, be an architecture photographer, write about it, etc. I guess we just need to weave our education with our skills and see how to best work in an enviroment that suits our personalities, because that's how you bring the most value to the world. Peace and health
-I dropped out of uni 2nd year because it's bad -Decided to all-in on art -The fact Im on my own gives me fear -Fear made me avoid failure -Spent 2 years figuring out motivation -Saw that the theories work - min/max-ed out everything - "failed" on purpose as much as possible - beat your ego to a pulp so you cant defend something that isn't there - no fear, even a little pleasure, since I know how to get up from failure now (guess this is confidence) - now I'm unironically the smigma male meme - I am now the guy I wished I was 2 years ago when I only played games. I actually achieve stuff - get ego again lmao Tl;dr: fix urself first, get ur ass humiliated until you have 0 ego to defend, now u have thicc skin to tolerate hard shit. Also remember u need a strong enough passion to make all the pain worth it.
Hey, I'm going to college soon and went through something similar, I decided that I wanted to at least try art before doing an unfulfilling job for the rest of my life, despite not really doing art much before then. I didn't like art because I felt like I was bad at it and hated the feeling of failure. I realized, with the help of Dr K and personal experience that failure is a necessary part of success, and I've decided to go for it, my busiest days have been the most fulfilling. I feel like I've experienced something that I never have before. I've always been an underachiever so trying to get a career in something so difficult has really made me learn to appreciate the process of learning. I've started doing things that would normally be outside my comfort zone for the sake of improvement and have started to take care of my diet and things more with the excuse that it'll improve my learning. I realized that the most rewarding thing in life is dedicating yourself to what you love, and not comfort or hedonism. I'm now going to chase that high that I felt when working on my art portfolio for college, I think I got lucky and made the right choice, but we will have to see. regardless the things that I've learned from this experience will be valuable for the rest of my life.
Yeup, job definitely helped me get my ego to 0. Kinda liberating when you can just work on something and say 'It's shit, but it's the best I could do with my current experience. I don't care how bad you say it is.'
“We don’t change until our situation becomes more uncomfortable than the change required.” I butchered this quote from another therapist, but I think that fact would conclude this video well.
This reminds me of how burn out feels like such a waste of time, but it also makes you develop tools that will make the rest of your life so much better that it actually isn't a waste at all
This was so helpful. I’m in the same position but I’m 34. I love the very simple yet sage advice that the “wasted time” is basically the cost of entry in the choices of Life. It makes perfect sense and I feel so much less bad about that. Thank you Dr. K
One think I learned by trying diferent courses in diferent ares is that: you need to challange your identity. I was in his situation: art kid, struggling a lot. Then I tried nursing cause I kind liked medicine and pathology....best decision I ever made! Before I had the identity of "the introverted", now I know why I was not getting well being a digital artist: It's lonely as f. I need to see people, I need to talk with then and I am getting better at doing it with time, made friends... Still want to do art but I will not quit nursing because of that. I had changed thanks to this, and for the better. Now I know how I want to use my art, to further heal people.
Sometimes those safety nets become a web that entangles you. I spent years working towards writing and storytelling then halted again recently. Lately I've felt like things have been off. Now after several different things, I've decided to refocus. It's a lot of work as an older man with kids. I've chosen to remove my own frivolities and put those resources into the craft. At the same time, I can work at taking care of my family. Its a delicate balance but I've strategized and all that it now requires is my own determination. It's rough for sure, but lately I feel like the mask is cracking.
Another idea that I was just learning, that I think fits really well with this, is the idea of focusing on the pursuit or process of things, rather than the outcome. It's something that I find can be very difficult to do, especially as you start to get older and have a tendency to feel like "time is running out." But I think focusing on outcomes means that we look at things in terms of results, which we generally divide into wins or losses. Alternatively, focusing on processes means that we embrace the journey that we're on and the hills and valleys that it comes with.
Back in 2017 I was at a job that was making me miserable, but was within my passion I worked sewing uniform polos; designing and sewing are my passions. I quit the factory for a better sewing opportunity. Same field, but different temporary factors. Better working conditions, better coworkers. I always kept in mind: If I hadn't worked in the factory, I might not have appreciated this job as much. Having a shitty job made this one feel so much better.
In the US we have to talk about healthcare accesibility and how that impacts how free we are to pursue our passion. If you have any type of chronic condition you can't rely on a high deductible marketplace plan. You need an employer provided plan with reasonable premiums, deductibles and copays or you will have to choose between food and meds.
@@fenrir_427 i just wanna say thank you for this quote, you inspired me in dark times! You are an absolutely courageous and amazing person! I hope your dreams come true and u dont betray time! ;-)
I really liked this message. I quit medicine after my first year of residency because I hated where I was and the people I was working with, the actual job was draining at times, but overall fine. Although I was super stressed throughout the first year, it was only until I quit that a clinical depression was triggered for the first time in my adult life. I moved countries, and some doctors encourage me to pursue residency in this country, which has been super tempting but I decided to transition to tech. All this to say, if I had done more years, I may have left with less initial regrets, and not have triggered that depression, but overall it worked out and I'm much happier now.
what a coincidence. my dad has been bugging me to invest my time in programming even though i have no interest whatsoever. I am passionate about drawing but i also feel like i should do it as a side thing since i may regret it in the future. the thing is though, i don't know what will happen if i take any of these paths. This video is helpful. Thanks doc
As a software developer, don't learn programming just for your dad. It's a very in-demand skill sure but it's also difficult and requires focus and drive to get good and create a portfolio of work neccesary to get hired. I recommend it if your goal is to quickly get into a well paying secure job and it's true that it can be used for much more than work but again like any skill it requires time, focus and drive. It's a father's job to ensure their kid will be financially secure in the future, like mine did, but I realise now that it is even more important to be fulfilled with what you do 8 hours a day to earn a living, at least for me. I personally will be making a move to leave programming behind to pursue things that fulfill rather than drain me. My advice is use your passion to fuel your drive to do what you want to do first and take a 'secure' option on the side, if that is a viable option for you.
@@CantWords I was told i was gonna be building websites so i had to learn html, css, and javascript. They said it was simple enough for me to understand but there's so much to understand even though i do get some things. I end up looking it up on the web to see what i did wrong over and over again. It's frustrating but it's not emotionally draining. I think i can kind of handle it since i have a more stoic approach towards it. I don't feel any passion or hatred doing it and i can see my dad's point of view so i'm leaning more on this line of work. Thank you kind sir (sorry if my english is a little hard to understand it's not my mother tongue)
As a programmer, I think you should pursue art. I’m dead jealous of everyone with artistic skills because they really are so valuable in every single industry. People bash art degrees, but artists are so vital EVERYWHERE.
Soul has really help realize that life doesn't just end when you get that dream job. Yes, it's cool to follow your passion but there's more to life than just following your passion. I still want to do art as a career but now I don't see life as success/failure of whether you should follow yours dream.
I quit my job a few years back to follow my passion. I think the thing that solidified it for me was the fact that my old jobs in IT were really great. I had smart coworkers and bosses who all looked out for one another, I was always well compensated (especially considering I didn't have a college degree), I was loved by clients, I was challenged by dynamic and ever changing work, I was encouraged and compensated for bettering myself in the field, and I did a damn good job at what I did... But it just wasn't right for me.
I'm in the exact same position right now haha. Everyone is surprised I'm quitting and can't see why I don't enjoy it. But I just don't it actually drains me to the point that I would say it's the biggest source of unhappiness in my life. How was following your passion for you?
I’m also feeling this right now. I’m at the crossroads of, do I focus on making my side hustle/passion a viable career (which it really isn’t atm), or do I focus on levelling up in the career I already have but don’t enjoy? It’s a boring job but safe and relatively well compensated.
@@chocomental My logic is that if I fail at my passion I always have the option of returning to my current career. And if that does happen I will know that I tried and I don't have to live with the regret of not having the courage to try. But of course YMMV and your situation is your own. I wish you the best regardless 😁
@@CantWords Hey, congrats! What are you getting yourself into? Yeah, a job doesn't need to be awful for it to totally drain you. Especially a 40 hours a week job. Following my passion has been a huge challenge, and come with sacrifices. Particularly, working on my executive function so I can self-start, taking a big financial hit, and weathering the isolation that comes with working for yourself, by yourself. However, the sense of meaning and self fulfillment that I get from doing my own thing my own way has more than made up for those downsides. I wouldn't have had it any other way.
@@ShazyShaze That's awesome glad to hear it's fulfilling that's exactly what I'm looking for. I'm not actually pursuing anything immediately, I'm first taking a break to focus of my health - physical and mental - while I work out exactly what it is I want. I may go back to work part time to save up a bit more money if I can't decide or commit right now. I'd also really love some time to put into music and language learning, as well as make some friends in the new city I moved to. I've always wanted to make videos on TH-cam and I have some ideas for that so my plan is to incorporate some of these passions and ideas into videos worth watching 😁 Definitely difficult so I feel the need to have a somewhat confident plan before I take the plunge. Any advice considering you've done something similar already?
I went with an option of having a stable career and the passion as a hobby. For now I am happy, I feel like making your hobby a job might destroy your passion for the hobby,
I had no regrets quitting my safe, retirement guaranteed job for my own cleaning business. It was scary as hell after quitting because I had no idea how to have a business. I took it day by day to not overwhelm myself with the pressure of doing it all by myself. I dont make as much money but i enjoy the work 100% more. I still get overwhelmed about taxes and being my own boss.
Congrats! I just wanna tell you that im proud of you and you inspire me. You have immense courage and determination and i believe in you. Dont fear its all gonna work out🌻
Man this video truly came at a perfect time in my life. I'm 20 now but I feel like I have to rush into my passion so if it fails then I know early but if it does good then I can enjoy it longer. Jumping into something you love is so difficult. Which is weird cause you think it wouldn't be. I want to work in a field that makes my heart race and i'm super passionate about. But it's scary and the thought of failing at this thing i'm so passionate about makes me nervous to try it. Because i'm not this passionate about anything else really. Great video man, your work is truly appreciated. ❤️
Summary for myself: how do I know if I'm making the right decision/that I won't regret my decision? You don't know. Till you try you won't know what will work for you, so you simply choose *something* and move in that direction, WITHOUT worrying about potential regret because that tends to make you actually anticipate failure and regret. Instead simply try it and see how you feel towards the life you're leading under that choice, if you're still feeling unsatisfied then consider your other options and move on, don't cling and create an unnecessary sense of regret, you're experimenting, mistakes are how you know when it's time to rethink your hypothesis. Mistake are a data rich environment, make use of them rather than avoiding them. And remember: there's no such thing as "locked in for life", that tends to be how we think about life in our 20s, but in reality we all gotta figure it out as we go, no one knows what opportunities might lay in our future, especially in this day and age of constant change. Simply pick a path now and go with the flow, if you encounter something you don't like then take another path and so on, see everything you have ever done or will ever do as valuable experience to be remembered, you never know how your future self will make use of it. I'll quote Hank Green here: "so follow a path, any path, until you get to a place you don't like, and then change your direction". An important principle for this is: detachment. Not as in apathy, but as in not taking yourself or any one single thing too seriously. This will free you from worrying too much, and thus you get the mental and emotional space to experiment with your options and decisions without being anxious about what is the "right" thing to do, because you are here for the ever changing journey that is our lives, you are trying things out, you're experimenting, do you really want your entire life story to be simple and easily seen from a young age? Wouldn't that be a boring life where little of interest happens in it? Because if it's even a little more complex and interesting then you can't predict it, if you can't predict it then you can't "minmax" it, you can't guarantee the "right" decisions every single time. Uncertainty is the price you pay for an interesting life that you can be proud of, rather than a dull one that you can foresee easily from your 20s.
Making mistakes is not something I ever regretted. The things I regret are when I was too afraid to try, or talked myself out of something that was obviously not going to work. Especially when that thing wouldn't have had any lasting consequences. Looking back I realize maybe it would have worked out, but either way it was a life experience I missed out on.
Dr. K, I've never heard of you before, but you just popped up on my feed. I want to share a story from my life, and maybe some in the comments will be able to relate. Since I was in 7th grade, I wanted to be in a punk rock band. All I wanted to do was play concerts and tour. This would cause me to pick up a guitar, and become one of my greatest hobbies/passions. I am 37 now. From age 18-31, I played around 170+ shows. My bands never "made it big", while my peers became very successful and even famous. I didn't get to tour the world many times over like they did, or play to crowds of 10,000 people, but...I have to say in the past 6 years of not playing shows or being very active in the music sometimes I got in this mental funk - I did feel like I was "wasting" time. However, a week after I played my last show in fall 2017, I would end up meeting my girlfriend, who would become my wife. Her and I are very happily married with a beautiful daughter. We live on 2 acres in the woods, and we have a small pond. It's a beautiful life. I only was able to get to this place in life BECAUSE of my past "failures". Career-wise, I have essentially a dream job that I love with an amazing team. To get to my dream job, I went through a major career change in my early 30s, pursued and completed my masters degree in computer science, and worked a couple IT jobs that I really, really disliked. I took risks and was always first to volunteer to assist others or learn a new skill. My bosses took note, and I would incrementally elevate over those 6 years until I got to where I am today. Additionally, I never gave up on my music and am about to release my first full length album in many years. It's 14 songs and I wrote it during the covid lockdowns in 2020. Anyway, I know this is a lot from a random stranger, and I never leave comments like this, but this is how much this video resonated with me. Success is not a straight path! It is a path with many pitfalls and risks. But risks MUST be taken. You MUST exit your comfort zone and it's ok to mess up. I messed up a lot, but I never gave up. Your career will change. Your relationships will change. Your dreams will evolve and change! Stay open minded and resilient. Thanks for reading my story.
Working towards doing character design for animation for the past 5 years now. My struggle was to sustain focus, consistent effort towards the craft. Found out I have adhd, started treatment and for the first time I worked on my portfolio and in two months I'm ready to apply for jobs. So you can totally do it, in two years you can learn and be good enough to start working and go from there. I took longer cause of gaming and inertia, you can do it much faster than I. Perfecting the craft is a life long journey tho, so don't stress about it. Love, camo
The problem is a lot of people can't afford to go to college for 6 years and figure out they don't want that. It's all or nothing for people that don't have that kind of money.
How is your student debit work? Cause in my country when you don’t meet certain salary threshold you don’t have to repay the government. And also, few ten thousand won’t be as disastrous if you are able to find a job that overcomes that threshold. I don’t see the reason to panick
Oh. My. God. This is literally what I have been struggling for months and years .. Thank you, thank you so much dr. K. Everything just make sense now. I feel like I never had this kind of clarity in my head before. Your story and journey to where you are now is just a-ma-zing. Just show that in the end, it's keep being persevere that matters. This is another comment to remind you to please .. PLEASE, keep do whatever you are doing. It save me today!
Holy shit, that’s some real solid advice. Some people would just go “yeah pick your passion and drop out lol follow yer dreams”. Which is plainly horrible advice. Alok really knows what’s up.
I really appreciate this video. I've tried and re-tried a lot of different pursuits of passion and a few carreer fields. After a while I decided on something l, but put it off to focus on my life, friends, and family. I thought of a lot that time as wasted with how some things turned out, but this made me rethink that.
I stuck with a job past the point of wanting to quit, it became unbearable. Weirdly, holding out that long has left me with little feeling of regret, even if it was so painful.
ive not watched the video yet, but from the tittle, Tim Ferris' ''Fear Setting'' concept comes to mind which helps me personally overcome this peculiar fear. essentially: you make a list of positions you would Not want to be in (i.e what your life/circumstances will eventually look like if you don't go for what you want) it can be a great way to semi realistically visualise Potential outcomes for your possible decisions and act as an aid in deciding what to do/not do when you come up against a big decision
As someone who is about to graduate with a BA in theatre, you my friend should design sets. You can tell stories and put your architectural knowledge to good use.
God, how I needed to hear this. Thank you so much! I'm studying german language, literature and culture studies and I like it, but I hate writing papers. Growing up thinking, and my ex made me think this too, that it's wasting time doing something you won't extend on, but I came to the conclusion that that's not true. I know now that working in a field of science is not what I want and that's totally fine. All the knowledge I gained is gonna pay off in some way some time. But, moving cities, taking a break from being a musician, made me realize that I love music even more than I thought. I always came back to it through educational videos on YT. Back than I didn't cherish it, because it was always there. So now, I want to engage it again but my "I-wanna-be-perfect-in-something-that-takes-years-to-master"-mindset is holding be back, but I'm working on it.
It certainly is wild seeing others struggle with this at 25 and leading a life I thought I missed out on. I'm 29 now and just beginning to get things in order, but I've walked that road of failure already. This was such a fantastic video. I know right where I'm at, and honestly it's where I need to be. Thanks Dr. K, and thanks to the community that keeps sending him these great questions
This is so relatable for me. Im about to finish my IT degree, but ive been thinking of going into psychology because of my interest. but im not even sure about that, and I havent experienced much work in IT yet. So ill stay with IT for now, and if i sens it isnt for me, ill go anather route.
Perfect timing, I invest 11 years in being a lawyer (5 collage + 6 practicing law) for family influence. I also have Bipolar Disorder, which is pretty hard, especially in this line of work (unpredictability) My passion is science and engineer. For like 3 years I figure out that I have to change course. In the last 2 years I start to go to engineering School (online) so i can build a realistic plan. Although Is the literary worse time to quit (Invited to be a big partner in the firm) know I'm sure that I should pull the trigger (in the good way) and make the change without the fear of an unbearable regret (because I tried so hard and got so far But in the end, it kind of matter) I may regret leaving, but I'm sure regret staying
Having done exactly what is described here I can 100% agree with what Dr. K. has said. I worked 10 years as an architect and now I quit and have a good financial cushion to do what I want to do. @Dr.K. You were meant to be a psychiatrist. You are the best and you help so many people by doing what you do.
But how can I not be afraid of failure, when, for example, entering the work force is increseangly harder as you get older? How do you deal with the tension and contradiction of taking risks and no screwing opportunities?
This is for me quite revolutionary thought - to listen to my soul which will tell me if the change/experience I'm going through makes me happy or unhappy. That our emotions are guiding us and telling us if we are on the right place and so even bad emotions or mistakes or unhappiness is all part of it. It is only like a two years that I'm able to feel my feelings, paying them attention, since childhood I was almost like a stone because of some trauma. So I'm learning to listen to my inner experience and also see my inner conflicts, too.
💜 I feel the anxiety slowly melting away so helpful and relatable - man I gotta stop zooming in on the tiny percentage of rich young kids making me feel behind in life cuz I’m a 25 year old barista still figuring shit out 😭😂
I'm so grateful I learned a lot of these lessons growing up with a parent who changed careers radically in his mid 40s. I still struggle with regrets and "damn why tf didn't I do this sooner" but it's all good when I look at the bigger picture. I pretty much figured out what I want in my late 20s but it took some more years to get rid of a lot of mental blocks to actually make it happen.
The key is to not regret your effort. If you try something and it fails, you don't regret it if you truly believed in it and did what you could. That's how you die happy imo. If this guy goes into storytelling and realizes it's not actually his passion and he was just running from something else, *then* he will regret it.
Awesome video! I have made the choice of leaving too early before and have regretted, but also have learned throughout that experience what drives me through my work/dream balance. I also had the safety net of my parents, which I’m extremely grateful for, and now can really enjoy my work and also work towards my dreams! 🎉
after deep thinking of my passion i wanted to pursue rapping but realized theres a shit ton of wanna be rappers especially in this generation so i decided it will take time and showing talent.. so i decided i must pursue a smart and good paying career.. while the side hustle will be traveling and rapping to one day get noticed. my talent in rapping is free styling without writing and just being alone which is why i want to truck drive and rap at the same time.
I dropped out of college after a year, was an au-pair for half a year, did 3 years apprentisship, worked 4 years in that profession, quit and lived of my savings for half a year, did another 3 year apprentisship and have now found the perfect job and boss for me. I don't count any day of that as a waste. It's all live experience. And if i'm happy with a choice in the moment, i know i won't regret it.
About relationships & feelings- so many people are entering relationships with fantastical expectations around their feelings. They expect to feel that rush that occurs at the beginning THE ENTIRE TIME. And then once the honeymoon phase is over, they’re bored, and then done.
this makes me feel so much better about not knowing how to answer the ''what will you do when you grow up'' question. there is so much to life and creative outlets to turn in to a career. I either wanted to be a vet, cartoonist, something in the medical field or an author. but as I grew I realized I had no talent or skill at all. I know I couldn't be a good tattoo artist, author, musician or some kind of athlete. right now I'm looking after my kids but now at 25 i think I really want to work on a movie or tv series set. either making the set, creating the props or creating the character and costume. I really love learning how its all done and I'm blown away by the magic of it. right now I'm just stuck at where the hell do I start. I was horrible at school and what courses and certifications would I need. also im really glad i stumbled across this channel. everything ive seen so far has made so much sense
This was so unbelievably comforting/motivating. I definitely feel like I'm on my last last respawn in life and it's definitely giving me the tenacity you're talking about.
Man Dr.K you have contributed so much to my mental health, ability to make life choices and being able to actually love life in general. I hope someday I'll be able to give you a hug and buy you a meal. GGWP
As someone who is also deciding whether to continue studying architecture or switch to animation and illustration this was extremely helpful thank you😅💕☺️ continue down the path until it no longer works and then take that new found knowledge and apply it to a new direction with full certainty!
this was a very important video for me, i've reassured myself that choosing to pursue gamedev for any cost over university degree is going to be at the very least a journey that I'll take full pride in.
This changed my view on everything. I am currently in the exact same situation (only studying law school instead of architecture) and this finally opened my eyes. I cannot be grateful enough. Thank you a lot. It means everything to me.
I think the fact that he even has a plan A (potential stable career where he’s making good money) and B (a passion he’s certain of ) means he’s ahead of most of us.
Thank you, Dr. K share so much wisdom and reminds us that time is experience. Never truly wasted. Ill be gone soon from this place to play music for people I dont and will never know. Im not afraid anymore to take this chance. We will all make it friends, Stay the course till ends meet earth and the sky falls.
Here is another good thing to note. Once you gain experience and knowledge in something especially after 6 years that is not something you forget. You keep it on your resume and for your next venture. So it is only a mistake if you never learned anything essentially. You will aquire skills that will benefit you for the next step, so sure you may regret studying something but it does not mean you were left with nothing at the end of it. Be it extra skills or the simple fact that you succeeded in finishing your studies.
Following your passion doesn’t mean you won’t sometimes (or most of the time) hate work. I think a lot of people think it’s an either or situation. Either you hate work or you follow your passion and work will be perfect. I followed my passion for art and graphics, I work in motion graphics for tv commercials and trailers, occasionally it’s awesome but most of the time it’s awful and I work on some tedious, boring animation for a week straight getting nothing but negative feedback. I’m learning to find fulfillment outside of work because work is still work whether it’s your passion or not. I’m proof you can follow your passion, have a career that in theory is awesome but have nothing but regrets.
11:15 not a waste 11:40 13:40 take a walk, look around 14:10 u cant blame U for making a mistake 14:50 fear of making a mistake, but it can help u figure things out 15:40 no regrets when u reach that point, ok to change let exp be your guide, u cant predict, u may feel regret w either passion/degree 18:00 a lot of times in life, u think choices r binary, but life is open world 18:50 gave it a fair shot, & then left w the knowledge/exp dont avoid the exp 20:20 21:10 true, dont regret not leaving earlier bc it launches u into the new w more passion/appreciation > doubt/possiblr regret (u'll never know if u made the 'right choice') 22:50 for ur own reasons !!23:50 gaining exp 24:20 **ability to develop a worth ethic** in the absence of motivation, cant rely on only passion 25:28 not recognising that value, until u sacrificed for it tenacity comes from making mistakes, then u have no regrets 26:30 everyone wants that passion, but no one wants to pay the price 26:40 3rd route: work on that side hussle 27:30 wait til its worth it, bc u'll know size of sacrifice boosts ur confirmation 28:00 e.g. helicopter parents living vicariously thru kids 29:25 missing out on enjoyment, part of it, make mistakes 30:18 !! where's this idea "for the rest of ur life"? u can work at it & quit to pursue other endeavours
As an undergrad student studying in their second year, the idea that people get where they have to choose one major and do that job for the rest of their life comes from myself wanting financial stability, but also I had many people such as parents and highschool teachers saying that the program you decide to go in will be the most important and biggest life decision ever, and that you have to choose a major and make sure you like it because that's the job that you will do for the rest of your life. This always made me scared because then i would fear regret and would constantly think about if the major I chose was what aligned with what a want to do. Dr. K thank you for the advice on following your dreams! It is so hopeful to know that I don't have to do the same job for the 40 years or so I will be working after college, because I can use my internal compass to know if what I am doing in my life as a career is right or wrong and change based on dissatisfaction.
Physics was my true passion, but I was pushed by my parents and teachers to study computer science instead. I hated it since day one, even switched universities, nothing helped. My mental health got worse and worse. I was quite suicidal. Now I only need to pass two more classes and do my thesis, but it just feels like too much. I know I won't enjoy it as a job either, but I am too tired mentally to pursue any other degree, I just want to start living, but I don't see what I could enjoy doing that doesn't require a degree.
I empathise man, its so hard. I did engineering for 3 years before I decided enough was enough and made the change to physics. It sounds like you dont want to do any extra study, so maybe see any fields with overlap in CS and physics that you might enjoy!
So grateful for this video 🙏 Since I've somehow rediscovered your channel every video you put out actually deals with struggles that I deal with on a daily basis. So thankful for your support to the community and people ❤ Wish you all the best and I hope you'll reach 1 million subs soon.
![ลองสุ่มไอโฟน 990 โกงมั้ย? [ โกงมั้ยครับ ep.101 ] | DOM](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/bfsWe0j492k/mqdefault.jpg)
Every. Single. Time. When I'm struggling with something, Dr K drops a video just about that
He's definitely maxed out his telepathy skills and I'm grateful af
Saaamee
Same here brother
Yes
What if he is secretly a developer for this game called "life"?
I guess we all got the same struggles lol.
As someone who studied something 4 years in undergrad and then 6 years in grad school only to not use those degrees at all, I assure you it's not "wasted time," whatever that means. It took years for me to come to terms with this concept. Life is for living, experiencing, learning, etc. Studying something as interesting as architecture can never be a waste, even if it doesn't contribute to your ultimate career. We're so ingrained with the concept of "life = career" that it never occurs to us that a job can be the means to actually live life.
Exactly. It's the same thinking "Where am I gonna use all that math/history/law that I'm learning in school?"
This is what got me grounded again back then, working as a computer engineer for hard drives. I started using some money for things that gives me creativity avenues and also using money to live life and gain new experiences.
I also went to school for architecture....felt I had to but yea it wasn't a degree I used either. I don't regret it just the debt...
@@hspinnovators5516 I want to go back to school for a degree (no idea what), I feel like it's the only way to live well with enough retirement money, but I can't take the debt.
@@deadinside8781 Entrepreneurship is worth it if you can focus the mind, then there's a lot of choice until you know for sure what to study. I think school was great to learn about a wide variety of topics, to discover myself and explore and to learn to think critically. But I've also seen people I know who didn't go to school and they already own houses, cars etc. Debt does set you back. I feel there's a lot more opportunities now ironically but the education system just doesn't adequately prepare us...I've been investing more in business growth and personal understanding. Harvard streams classes online.... there's alot more choices these days, it's alot of freedom....
i learned this from a driving instructor on youtube, it's his catchphrase "choose the best answer, not necessarily the right answer" and that lowkey changed my life lol
I love that
wow, that's a powerful phrase, thanks for sharing it
was it conquer driving? he's the goat
I’m moving across the country with a business degree… to train dogs. Life doesn’t always go the way you planned and sometimes your passion wins.
i wish you luck!!!!
Good luck!!!
Good luck love!
that sounds great!
Sounds awesome!! Good luck!
I'm so glad you didn't become a cardiologist, you've seriously changed my life. I think you have made more of a difference in my life than most people in my life if not you have made the most difference in my life. Thank you
"We're trying to live a life without regrets"
Dr K out here spitting bars. This is truly how I feel and have felt for the longest time.
If you honestly think that you'll look back in 5, 10, 20 years and think you did the right thing, you're doing the right thing. Don't hit 50 or 60 years old and realize that you should have chased your dreams. None of this shit matters so you have to live life the way you want to.
That's the most important lesson I take from this video. I was on the exact same boat as the redditor. Realised didn't wanna do architecture by 3rd year but felt obligated to complete it anyway. Completed it. Got a job, was way too much. Frustrated, went on a long ride to take a break, met with an accident. Still suffering a little from it. And all these years I'm stuck in this limbo. Architecture or passion. As a guy with ADHD, I already have 3-4 serious passions. And on top of that, after graduating as an architect, there's literally a 100 different things we can master in. So, I ended up doing nothing due to all the analysis paralysis.
I do short term trading in the stock markets but it's all of research that I love, but not much required in terms of execution. And I hope to sell fine art prints of my photography this year finally.
My parents always told me that dreams will always be dreams and that its almost impossible to come true so I gave up on all of my dreams when I was around the age of 10. One of my biggest mistakes yet.
Mine told me I’d b lucky if I didn’t actively hate my job! Parents!
Yeah parents can be something else man, if I told my parents I wanted to be the best burger flipper at McDonald’s they’d still hit me with the “I doubt you got it in ya”
Self-awareness will be your savior. You haven’t forgotten your dreams and you have time to pursue them. Just hang in there
@@user-ur5fz5ol8n I mean... There's a lot of burger flippers in the world lol
I wanted to be an archeologist. My mother said "what tare you going to discover that hasn't been discovered yet" She was a grown up, who never said they didn't know everything or was ever supportive. I thought she had to be right. I want to be a writer now, still do, but I relate is all.
One of my favorite mangaka, Tsutomu Nihei, studied architecture before doing manga. Now he's published several incredible works (which I think may turn out to be very inspiring to other storytellers) and had a few Netflix original adaptations. You never know.
Also, being knowledgeable about architecture is one of the pillars of the skill of drawing.
Dude has not wasted his time, imho.
That's really an interesting switch. I bet their story is really fascinating on how they got to that point.
I relate a lot to this video, here are the main points:
1. Fear of not making a mistake is what actually creates regret in your life.
2. Look at external factors as to why you're thinking "passion vs normal job". Part of why you might be feeling this way is that the company that you're working for sucks, or your colleagues suck or the project you're working on sucks. Maybe changing some of those factors might make the choice between "passion vs normal job" not seem as important, because in general your work environment has overall positive vibes. TLDR; It might not be the profession but your work environment that you dont' like.
3. In the same vein of the point above. Ask yourself why you are asking this questions of "passion vs normal job" now. Why not years ago when you were pursuing an education in that particular field?
4. You can't see the future, so how do I make a choice? "Wasted" time is the price to figuring it all out. How the hell are you supposed to know without even trying lol.
5. Try to come back to reality for a little bit. Look at the roommates you're living with, your parents, the people walking down the street, your neighbours. These are most likely people you've never heard about that are living "normal" lives. Keep in mind that the people we see on youtube, instagram, that are "successful" represent a tiny tiny fraction of the population. I don't think this is to discourage people from pursuing that but just to give perspective that just as a fact, most people don't have that lifestyle.
6. Recognize that you could be making a mistake. You need to dive in and try.
7. If you've invested a lot of time into a field, the safe choice would be to (If you're generally happy) to keep pursuing it while keeping your passion on the side UNTIL you feel ready to give up the other field.
8. How do I know I'm ready to leave that "normal" field? You've done it for a while and it just becomes so intolerable that it really just leaves you with no choice other than to quit it lol. Paradoxically...reaching this point will make you have no regrets because well... there's no other choice to make in your mind.
9. Unhappiness is going to be your compass. It will guide you through what you're supposed to do. Trying to avoid unhappiness ironically will set you back in terms of making a decision you will not regret.
10. Doing something that you don't necessarily like for a long period of time will develop a great work ethic. So if you do switch to something you're more "passionate" about it will give you a better emotional gauge since you can't base success on your passion/interest but your work ethic.
11. Financial stability is definitely important.
12. "Rest of your life" Mostly bullshit, you don't have to do something for the rest of your life.
TLDR;
20:20 - 22:30 Summarizes it pretty well.
22:03 - If you've invested a heavy amount of time, think about the temporal circumstances that are making you feel this way and try to address those. Be ok with making a mistake.
I think that's pretty much it. If anyone wants to contribute more to this you are more than welcome to.
Thank you. I'd like to ask you something. I didn't understand what dr. K tried to say on the 22:03 part about the temporal circunstances. Could u explain me the idea if possible? (English isn't my first language) Thanks in advance.
I love this video so much.
When I was 18, I joined the military because; 1) my family was not in a financial spot to support college, 2) I was(still am to a degree) an irresponsible teen, and I knew I would've wasted my time and money, and 3) I didn't know what I wanted to do in life.
Those 4 years I spent in the military helped me rediscover, funnily enough, a passion for art and storytelling that I'd suppressed because my parents had told me as a child that it wasn't a viable option. Now that I'm out of the military, I took advantage of college benefits and am trying to pursue my passion at an art school(I'd love to create comics/manga one day). I've still got my own share of hurdles but you most definitely do need to make mistakes to find out what's right for you, and those mistakes certainly do create an even more intense passion to chase your dreams
@CWhiz same here my anxiety takes over because I keep thinking of what's the right choice. Even though I know what I want wich is document my art online and work for galleries.
This is so cool!
I feel like my whole life has been a series of people telling me “don’t be afraid to make mistakes” but then the world giving me every reason to be deathly afraid of making mistakes.
Like it’s a nice thought but that’s not the way the world works. I can’t just cover my eyes and ears and pretend there’s no consequences for my actions
I think the key is doing things where the consequences are survivable. Try to cook dinner and you mess it up drastically, you can order takeout or make a frozen dinner/ backup plan dinner. In theory it would work to try one job for a bit and if it doesn't work out and you feel like it was a mistake or they fire you or whatever, you can start applying for a different job. Be socially awkward and the consequences are so minimal. Stuff like that. It's okay, and good practice, to make mistakes in art and while playing an instrument and learning and practicing at home. Try dating a person and avoid major mistakes related to too much commitment too soon but otherwise any experience that doesn't work out is a learning experience.
Personally, I came to accept that slow progress is still progress, I know I was talking to my friend about handling online school and her office job (she wants to do graphic design) and she chose to do both full time and ended up dropping out the online. I asked her "why not do part time online" and she was like "because full time is like 3 years and part time is 6 years" which fair enough but you always have to be realistic imo when it comes to responsibilities and what you can handle at a time, some people can juggle a lot of stuff at once, others not so much. If you feel like you can do 6 years and not 3 years, there's no shame in that, it's better to do slowly than just outright drop it and potentially never do it again because you can't do it fast enough. It's physically not possible for majority of people, we kinda need to eliminate the "you gotta be successful FAST or you will never EVER EVER be successful, YOU'LL BE A LOSER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE" kinda mentality in our society overall that is expected on young people and be more lenient. TLDR version: I believe in you 🙏
Thank you dear commenter you’re very wise 😊
@@Couscous77 this is true and a main reason for me personally why I dropped out of art university, a lot of those in UK are just more about the money making business rather than actually educating students (9 grand a year as well 🙈). I myself have been self learning with the help of internet since then but apparently it's super hard for a lot of people, including my friend, to do things by themselves without a teacher telling them what to do, setting up deadlines etc. which might be terrible if you want to be a freelancer cause that's all about self discipline but not so bad about being hired in a studio with a boss.
Not only on young people -_-
Man the world has become a race. Everyone has this pressure to live your life to the fullest, earn a lot of money, and rush everything cause life is finite. Maybe is a generation thing. We internet users are now used to the story of that kid that made videos for a year and then became a millionaire and is retiring at 30. How things have changed, huh?
as someone whose been stuck in this mindset for years it costed me my sanity and lead me nowhere to it. Im starting to learn how to be more slow but deliberate in the actions of my life. Yes it doesnt make it any easier but we really need to stop thinking the unhealthy mindset that failure will be the end of everything.
Reframe your dream. You like storytelling- why? How can you relate that passion to any career.
Scientists tell stories, psychologists tell stories, doctors tell stories- you can reframe those things. A 21 year old probably doesn’t know their lifelong passion. That’s something you develop and make.
With architecture it's also possible to tell stories. Say, working in historical restoration architecture, or being an architect specialized in designs meant to convey storytelling--maybe like working on the design of movie and theater sets!
"It's our avoidance of making mistakes that causes us to live with regret" - Dr. K
I wish colleges had more people come in and explain there career paths, I think a lot of people who end up getting far in there career had jobs all over the place before they found what fit. Like if you are in your 20s or 30s you still have at least 30 more years of work ahead of you that's an insane amount of time.
I don't know sometimes a person has to do the work and realize that it isn't for them. I like writing stories but I hated to write when I was doing my law degree 😂
it's like standing at the pool or beach for the first time.
you've dipped your toes in but it's so cold that the pain from the cold keeps you from going in.
but will you even enjoy it? you will never know until you test the waters and experience it.
and once you go in, and your body gets used to the cold, you finally try swimming and playing in the water.
you can then assess if you enjoy swimming or playing in the water.
had you have known this if you continued standing at the water?
you are not wasting time by gaining this valuable data.
thank you for this!!!!
I felt this in my soul. You struck a particular chord because I grew up with a lot of pressure from parents to be "successful" aka go to a school, get a degree (in architecture), make a shit load of money and so on. "Oh Ian you're so smart, you're so creative and good at math, this would be perfect for you!" But it in fact wasn't, and I dropped out of a program after a couple of years. Then, I picked up a camera and started doing photography. My creative outlet found a landing point, ten years ago, and I haven't looked back since. Although, ironically, I have a "real job" I work as a retail manager, which is of course the safe job. Photography is my "passion". The same people who told me I wasted money on a camera all those years ago are now telling me I should be a professional photographer, but I'm not sure that would really work out either. Meanwhile, my "real job" has ebbs and flows, and some days I feel like I suck at it and maybe should've picked something else, when things don't go well. It's all so difficult. Anyways, your advice is pretty spot on. So thank you.
this is exactly what my parents keep pressuring me on too, Oh architecture such trap you are
Architecture graduate here. Came from the most recent video, the one about "being spoiled". The advice about taking note of your day to day activies of a job is something that should be more talked about to young people in the midst of choosing their career path! It's honestly so important to match your personality to the type of work enviroment you want to work in. And relevant to the architecture field, since the shock between college and office work is a big factor in why a lot of people decide to leave the profession. I think it depends a lot on the context of your country too, since not all architecture jobs are well paid or have an ok office culture.
I've related a lot to these last two videos and they've been really helpful. Seeing as it's such a common theme, especially in architecture, here's a bit of my story that might help someone:
I finished architecture school from a sort of inertia - even though it wasn't my "passion", but it was presented to me as a safe bet that would fit my skills. Seeing as I was a smart artsy kid, being a painter, video director, or even just an interior designer was considered to be beneath me and things I could do after college anyway. So, two years of prep before college and I was burnt out out already and wanted to quit and switch paths right before admission. This only repeated at the end of every college year...
The fact that I wasn't that passionate about it, coupled with probably an undiagnosed adhd made it even harder to get through college. Long working hours, a lot of procrastination and projects submitted the last minute. What kept me going was my curiosity in all of the different subjects that you had to study and a great collective. Plus, what I really wanted to do seemed so far away and scary and as time passed, the time and work invested grew. But it was obvious that people who were more passionate about it got better at it. Meanwhile, I was excelling at the humanities subjects, while being mediocre at the rest. If your heart's not in it, you'll face a lot of resistance trying to keep up with the people that actually enjoy doing it. And that resistance translates to a lot of wasted energy, shame, overall a bad mental and physical health space.
Fast-forward, almost 2 years after graduating (so 8 years of studying it and one year and a half of working in three different offices) I realised I don't want to work in an architecture office enviroment ever again, from the same reason that Dr. K cited - you spend 8 hours or more in front of the computer, clicking away your day. Plus, it's reaaally underpaid for the amounf of stress and work you do, especially as a junior. So after I quit my last job, I've been working some projects as a freelancer, trying to have a more flexible work schedule and enviroment, while doing some photography and trying to switch to that more.
I'm still interested in the theoretical and aesthetic part of it, thinking about how spaces or cities could be improved, but I realised that the reality of working at a desk full time is too static for me and painful to my soul. Also, I don't seem to mind sitting at a desk writing for hours, since I can atribute more meaning to that and get into a flow state. I've also realised that freelancing on your own is not that easy, can be lonely and working in a collective can be a good learning op. Also, trying to switch to something that I enjoy more hasn't been easy. I started to accept that and try to take it step by step, enjoying life along the way.
And last but not least, making peace with the notion that those years were not wasted is important for moving forward - I'm grateful I got a good education in a complex field, which thaught me a lot. But thinking back, I wish I quit while in college and went down a different route, more suited to my skills and personality. I wish society didn't put all this pressure to choose a career path while in high school, especially long, complex ones like architecture, medicine or engineering. The burnout is real and some people actually get sick from all the stress and pressure. Also, a gap year between high school and college would've been a great idea, but in cultures where it's not common, people don't do it out of fear of remaining behind from their generation peers and losing friends.
So, hang in there architecture students, or anyone trying to get in a competitive, high achieving field. Know that it's ok to have second thoughts, to even take a freeze year if possible, quit or switch to something maybe connected, even if it's deemed as a "less socially valued" field to work in. But it's best to take a decision, rather than mull over it endlessly and lose time and energy that way. Also, there are a lot of work branches related to architecture and, to come back full circle to the day to day activities bit, not all require working in an office. Maybe you want to continue in academia, be an architecture photographer, write about it, etc. I guess we just need to weave our education with our skills and see how to best work in an enviroment that suits our personalities, because that's how you bring the most value to the world. Peace and health
Are you from Romania?
Needed this, thank you!
"The fear of making mistakes leads to regret"
🙏
-I dropped out of uni 2nd year because it's bad
-Decided to all-in on art
-The fact Im on my own gives me fear
-Fear made me avoid failure
-Spent 2 years figuring out motivation
-Saw that the theories work
- min/max-ed out everything
- "failed" on purpose as much as possible
- beat your ego to a pulp so you cant defend something that isn't there
- no fear, even a little pleasure, since I know how to get up from failure now (guess this is confidence)
- now I'm unironically the smigma male meme
- I am now the guy I wished I was 2 years ago when I only played games. I actually achieve stuff
- get ego again lmao
Tl;dr: fix urself first, get ur ass humiliated until you have 0 ego to defend, now u have thicc skin to tolerate hard shit.
Also remember u need a strong enough passion to make all the pain worth it.
Hey, I'm going to college soon and went through something similar, I decided that I wanted to at least try art before doing an unfulfilling job for the rest of my life, despite not really doing art much before then. I didn't like art because I felt like I was bad at it and hated the feeling of failure. I realized, with the help of Dr K and personal experience that failure is a necessary part of success, and I've decided to go for it, my busiest days have been the most fulfilling. I feel like I've experienced something that I never have before. I've always been an underachiever so trying to get a career in something so difficult has really made me learn to appreciate the process of learning. I've started doing things that would normally be outside my comfort zone for the sake of improvement and have started to take care of my diet and things more with the excuse that it'll improve my learning. I realized that the most rewarding thing in life is dedicating yourself to what you love, and not comfort or hedonism. I'm now going to chase that high that I felt when working on my art portfolio for college, I think I got lucky and made the right choice, but we will have to see. regardless the things that I've learned from this experience will be valuable for the rest of my life.
That Tl;dr is definitely the way things end up going xD
@@sterlingbirks9101 u got this, champ
I believed you right up until you said "passion".
Yeup, job definitely helped me get my ego to 0. Kinda liberating when you can just work on something and say 'It's shit, but it's the best I could do with my current experience. I don't care how bad you say it is.'
“We don’t change until our situation becomes more uncomfortable than the change required.” I butchered this quote from another therapist, but I think that fact would conclude this video well.
This reminds me of how burn out feels like such a waste of time, but it also makes you develop tools that will make the rest of your life so much better that it actually isn't a waste at all
This was so helpful. I’m in the same position but I’m 34. I love the very simple yet sage advice that the “wasted time” is basically the cost of entry in the choices of Life. It makes perfect sense and I feel so much less bad about that. Thank you Dr. K
One think I learned by trying diferent courses in diferent ares is that: you need to challange your identity.
I was in his situation: art kid, struggling a lot. Then I tried nursing cause I kind liked medicine and pathology....best decision I ever made!
Before I had the identity of "the introverted", now I know why I was not getting well being a digital artist: It's lonely as f. I need to see people, I need to talk with then and I am getting better at doing it with time, made friends...
Still want to do art but I will not quit nursing because of that. I had changed thanks to this, and for the better. Now I know how I want to use my art, to further heal people.
Thank you so, so much. I love you Dr. K! 💙
Sometimes those safety nets become a web that entangles you. I spent years working towards writing and storytelling then halted again recently. Lately I've felt like things have been off. Now after several different things, I've decided to refocus. It's a lot of work as an older man with kids. I've chosen to remove my own frivolities and put those resources into the craft. At the same time, I can work at taking care of my family. Its a delicate balance but I've strategized and all that it now requires is my own determination. It's rough for sure, but lately I feel like the mask is cracking.
Another idea that I was just learning, that I think fits really well with this, is the idea of focusing on the pursuit or process of things, rather than the outcome. It's something that I find can be very difficult to do, especially as you start to get older and have a tendency to feel like "time is running out." But I think focusing on outcomes means that we look at things in terms of results, which we generally divide into wins or losses. Alternatively, focusing on processes means that we embrace the journey that we're on and the hills and valleys that it comes with.
Back in 2017 I was at a job that was making me miserable, but was within my passion
I worked sewing uniform polos; designing and sewing are my passions.
I quit the factory for a better sewing opportunity. Same field, but different temporary factors. Better working conditions, better coworkers.
I always kept in mind: If I hadn't worked in the factory, I might not have appreciated this job as much. Having a shitty job made this one feel so much better.
In the US we have to talk about healthcare accesibility and how that impacts how free we are to pursue our passion. If you have any type of chronic condition you can't rely on a high deductible marketplace plan. You need an employer provided plan with reasonable premiums, deductibles and copays or you will have to choose between food and meds.
"I'll not betray my dream. That is all"
Just woke up from a Berserk binge. Great timing! :)
@@Reggae-Gandalf Nice. Have you read the manga yet ?
Where is it from?
@@roselynnwood4657 Berserk
@@fenrir_427 i just wanna say thank you for this quote, you inspired me in dark times! You are an absolutely courageous and amazing person! I hope your dreams come true and u dont betray time! ;-)
I really liked this message. I quit medicine after my first year of residency because I hated where I was and the people I was working with, the actual job was draining at times, but overall fine. Although I was super stressed throughout the first year, it was only until I quit that a clinical depression was triggered for the first time in my adult life. I moved countries, and some doctors encourage me to pursue residency in this country, which has been super tempting but I decided to transition to tech. All this to say, if I had done more years, I may have left with less initial regrets, and not have triggered that depression, but overall it worked out and I'm much happier now.
what a coincidence. my dad has been bugging me to invest my time in programming even though i have no interest whatsoever. I am passionate about drawing but i also feel like i should do it as a side thing since i may regret it in the future. the thing is though, i don't know what will happen if i take any of these paths. This video is helpful. Thanks doc
You should learn programming cause you can use it to make art too. Shaders in video games are all done through code for example.
As a software developer, don't learn programming just for your dad. It's a very in-demand skill sure but it's also difficult and requires focus and drive to get good and create a portfolio of work neccesary to get hired. I recommend it if your goal is to quickly get into a well paying secure job and it's true that it can be used for much more than work but again like any skill it requires time, focus and drive. It's a father's job to ensure their kid will be financially secure in the future, like mine did, but I realise now that it is even more important to be fulfilled with what you do 8 hours a day to earn a living, at least for me. I personally will be making a move to leave programming behind to pursue things that fulfill rather than drain me. My advice is use your passion to fuel your drive to do what you want to do first and take a 'secure' option on the side, if that is a viable option for you.
@@St4ticScratch i don't really plan on making games in the near future. I'm leaning more towards animation (2D animation) but i'll think about it!
@@CantWords I was told i was gonna be building websites so i had to learn html, css, and javascript. They said it was simple enough for me to understand but there's so much to understand even though i do get some things. I end up looking it up on the web to see what i did wrong over and over again. It's frustrating but it's not emotionally draining. I think i can kind of handle it since i have a more stoic approach towards it. I don't feel any passion or hatred doing it and i can see my dad's point of view so i'm leaning more on this line of work. Thank you kind sir (sorry if my english is a little hard to understand it's not my mother tongue)
As a programmer, I think you should pursue art. I’m dead jealous of everyone with artistic skills because they really are so valuable in every single industry. People bash art degrees, but artists are so vital EVERYWHERE.
Soul has really help realize that life doesn't just end when you get that dream job. Yes, it's cool to follow your passion but there's more to life than just following your passion.
I still want to do art as a career but now I don't see life as success/failure of whether you should follow yours dream.
This stems from how capitalism and love doesn't go well together. It's not a product you buy. A career is a messy path we all go through
This is priceless and hit me right in the heart. Thank you so much for your work and for psychologically educating everyone!
*sending love*
I quit my job a few years back to follow my passion. I think the thing that solidified it for me was the fact that my old jobs in IT were really great. I had smart coworkers and bosses who all looked out for one another, I was always well compensated (especially considering I didn't have a college degree), I was loved by clients, I was challenged by dynamic and ever changing work, I was encouraged and compensated for bettering myself in the field, and I did a damn good job at what I did... But it just wasn't right for me.
I'm in the exact same position right now haha. Everyone is surprised I'm quitting and can't see why I don't enjoy it. But I just don't it actually drains me to the point that I would say it's the biggest source of unhappiness in my life. How was following your passion for you?
I’m also feeling this right now. I’m at the crossroads of, do I focus on making my side hustle/passion a viable career (which it really isn’t atm), or do I focus on levelling up in the career I already have but don’t enjoy? It’s a boring job but safe and relatively well compensated.
@@chocomental My logic is that if I fail at my passion I always have the option of returning to my current career. And if that does happen I will know that I tried and I don't have to live with the regret of not having the courage to try. But of course YMMV and your situation is your own. I wish you the best regardless 😁
@@CantWords Hey, congrats! What are you getting yourself into? Yeah, a job doesn't need to be awful for it to totally drain you. Especially a 40 hours a week job.
Following my passion has been a huge challenge, and come with sacrifices. Particularly, working on my executive function so I can self-start, taking a big financial hit, and weathering the isolation that comes with working for yourself, by yourself. However, the sense of meaning and self fulfillment that I get from doing my own thing my own way has more than made up for those downsides. I wouldn't have had it any other way.
@@ShazyShaze That's awesome glad to hear it's fulfilling that's exactly what I'm looking for.
I'm not actually pursuing anything immediately, I'm first taking a break to focus of my health - physical and mental - while I work out exactly what it is I want. I may go back to work part time to save up a bit more money if I can't decide or commit right now.
I'd also really love some time to put into music and language learning, as well as make some friends in the new city I moved to.
I've always wanted to make videos on TH-cam and I have some ideas for that so my plan is to incorporate some of these passions and ideas into videos worth watching 😁 Definitely difficult so I feel the need to have a somewhat confident plan before I take the plunge. Any advice considering you've done something similar already?
I went with an option of having a stable career and the passion as a hobby. For now I am happy, I feel like making your hobby a job might destroy your passion for the hobby,
I had no regrets quitting my safe, retirement guaranteed job for my own cleaning business. It was scary as hell after quitting because I had no idea how to have a business. I took it day by day to not overwhelm myself with the pressure of doing it all by myself. I dont make as much money but i enjoy the work 100% more. I still get overwhelmed about taxes and being my own boss.
Congrats! I just wanna tell you that im proud of you and you inspire me. You have immense courage and determination and i believe in you. Dont fear its all gonna work out🌻
Man this video truly came at a perfect time in my life. I'm 20 now but I feel like I have to rush into my passion so if it fails then I know early but if it does good then I can enjoy it longer. Jumping into something you love is so difficult. Which is weird cause you think it wouldn't be. I want to work in a field that makes my heart race and i'm super passionate about. But it's scary and the thought of failing at this thing i'm so passionate about makes me nervous to try it. Because i'm not this passionate about anything else really. Great video man, your work is truly appreciated. ❤️
What's that passion?
Summary for myself: how do I know if I'm making the right decision/that I won't regret my decision? You don't know. Till you try you won't know what will work for you, so you simply choose *something* and move in that direction, WITHOUT worrying about potential regret because that tends to make you actually anticipate failure and regret. Instead simply try it and see how you feel towards the life you're leading under that choice, if you're still feeling unsatisfied then consider your other options and move on, don't cling and create an unnecessary sense of regret, you're experimenting, mistakes are how you know when it's time to rethink your hypothesis. Mistake are a data rich environment, make use of them rather than avoiding them.
And remember: there's no such thing as "locked in for life", that tends to be how we think about life in our 20s, but in reality we all gotta figure it out as we go, no one knows what opportunities might lay in our future, especially in this day and age of constant change. Simply pick a path now and go with the flow, if you encounter something you don't like then take another path and so on, see everything you have ever done or will ever do as valuable experience to be remembered, you never know how your future self will make use of it.
I'll quote Hank Green here: "so follow a path, any path, until you get to a place you don't like, and then change your direction".
An important principle for this is: detachment. Not as in apathy, but as in not taking yourself or any one single thing too seriously. This will free you from worrying too much, and thus you get the mental and emotional space to experiment with your options and decisions without being anxious about what is the "right" thing to do, because you are here for the ever changing journey that is our lives, you are trying things out, you're experimenting, do you really want your entire life story to be simple and easily seen from a young age? Wouldn't that be a boring life where little of interest happens in it? Because if it's even a little more complex and interesting then you can't predict it, if you can't predict it then you can't "minmax" it, you can't guarantee the "right" decisions every single time. Uncertainty is the price you pay for an interesting life that you can be proud of, rather than a dull one that you can foresee easily from your 20s.
Making mistakes is not something I ever regretted. The things I regret are when I was too afraid to try, or talked myself out of something that was obviously not going to work. Especially when that thing wouldn't have had any lasting consequences. Looking back I realize maybe it would have worked out, but either way it was a life experience I missed out on.
Dr. K, I've never heard of you before, but you just popped up on my feed. I want to share a story from my life, and maybe some in the comments will be able to relate. Since I was in 7th grade, I wanted to be in a punk rock band. All I wanted to do was play concerts and tour. This would cause me to pick up a guitar, and become one of my greatest hobbies/passions. I am 37 now. From age 18-31, I played around 170+ shows. My bands never "made it big", while my peers became very successful and even famous. I didn't get to tour the world many times over like they did, or play to crowds of 10,000 people, but...I have to say in the past 6 years of not playing shows or being very active in the music sometimes I got in this mental funk - I did feel like I was "wasting" time. However, a week after I played my last show in fall 2017, I would end up meeting my girlfriend, who would become my wife. Her and I are very happily married with a beautiful daughter. We live on 2 acres in the woods, and we have a small pond. It's a beautiful life. I only was able to get to this place in life BECAUSE of my past "failures". Career-wise, I have essentially a dream job that I love with an amazing team. To get to my dream job, I went through a major career change in my early 30s, pursued and completed my masters degree in computer science, and worked a couple IT jobs that I really, really disliked. I took risks and was always first to volunteer to assist others or learn a new skill. My bosses took note, and I would incrementally elevate over those 6 years until I got to where I am today. Additionally, I never gave up on my music and am about to release my first full length album in many years. It's 14 songs and I wrote it during the covid lockdowns in 2020. Anyway, I know this is a lot from a random stranger, and I never leave comments like this, but this is how much this video resonated with me. Success is not a straight path! It is a path with many pitfalls and risks. But risks MUST be taken. You MUST exit your comfort zone and it's ok to mess up. I messed up a lot, but I never gave up. Your career will change. Your relationships will change. Your dreams will evolve and change! Stay open minded and resilient. Thanks for reading my story.
Working towards doing character design for animation for the past 5 years now. My struggle was to sustain focus, consistent effort towards the craft. Found out I have adhd, started treatment and for the first time I worked on my portfolio and in two months I'm ready to apply for jobs.
So you can totally do it, in two years you can learn and be good enough to start working and go from there. I took longer cause of gaming and inertia, you can do it much faster than I.
Perfecting the craft is a life long journey tho, so don't stress about it. Love, camo
how's it going now?
@@fzxfzxfzx got a job at a small game company, applied for a character design mentorship to better my portfolio and pursue bigger studios 👍
This is so wise and time is never wasted. Even if you completely reorient your life. Knowledge is powerful.
The problem is a lot of people can't afford to go to college for 6 years and figure out they don't want that. It's all or nothing for people that don't have that kind of money.
How is your student debit work? Cause in my country when you don’t meet certain salary threshold you don’t have to repay the government. And also, few ten thousand won’t be as disastrous if you are able to find a job that overcomes that threshold. I don’t see the reason to panick
Perfect timing I was just hopping in the shower to contemplate life and all it’s meaning post workout!
what brand do you wash with
Right like wtf is it with post-workout shower depression
@@decoy1312 Aveno’s deep moisturizing body wash and black African soap for my face
Fresh!!!
Oh. My. God.
This is literally what I have been struggling for months and years .. Thank you, thank you so much dr. K. Everything just make sense now. I feel like I never had this kind of clarity in my head before. Your story and journey to where you are now is just a-ma-zing. Just show that in the end, it's keep being persevere that matters. This is another comment to remind you to please .. PLEASE, keep do whatever you are doing. It save me today!
Holy shit, that’s some real solid advice.
Some people would just go “yeah pick your passion and drop out lol follow yer dreams”.
Which is plainly horrible advice.
Alok really knows what’s up.
I really appreciate this video. I've tried and re-tried a lot of different pursuits of passion and a few carreer fields. After a while I decided on something l, but put it off to focus on my life, friends, and family. I thought of a lot that time as wasted with how some things turned out, but this made me rethink that.
Let experience guide you. It's not time wasted if you have this confidence from giving it a fair shot.
This hits close to home. Doing a masters in Engineering but having regrets. Thanks Dr. K. I think I can push forward now.
I stuck with a job past the point of wanting to quit, it became unbearable. Weirdly, holding out that long has left me with little feeling of regret, even if it was so painful.
ive not watched the video yet, but from the tittle, Tim Ferris' ''Fear Setting'' concept comes to mind which helps me personally overcome this peculiar fear.
essentially: you make a list of positions you would Not want to be in (i.e what your life/circumstances will eventually look like if you don't go for what you want)
it can be a great way to semi realistically visualise Potential outcomes for your possible decisions and act as an aid in deciding what to do/not do when you come up against a big decision
Big fan of Tim Ferris' books and podcast
As someone who is about to graduate with a BA in theatre, you my friend should design sets. You can tell stories and put your architectural knowledge to good use.
Your words are healing me, thank you.
I didn’t realize how much I needed this video, thank you
Dr K is like if someone took the idea of Frasier Crane and put it into an a stable, calming and actually helpful person's body.
God, how I needed to hear this. Thank you so much!
I'm studying german language, literature and culture studies and I like it, but I hate writing papers. Growing up thinking, and my ex made me think this too, that it's wasting time doing something you won't extend on, but I came to the conclusion that that's not true. I know now that working in a field of science is not what I want and that's totally fine. All the knowledge I gained is gonna pay off in some way some time.
But, moving cities, taking a break from being a musician, made me realize that I love music even more than I thought. I always came back to it through educational videos on YT. Back than I didn't cherish it, because it was always there. So now, I want to engage it again but my "I-wanna-be-perfect-in-something-that-takes-years-to-master"-mindset is holding be back, but I'm working on it.
It certainly is wild seeing others struggle with this at 25 and leading a life I thought I missed out on. I'm 29 now and just beginning to get things in order, but I've walked that road of failure already. This was such a fantastic video. I know right where I'm at, and honestly it's where I need to be. Thanks Dr. K, and thanks to the community that keeps sending him these great questions
This is so relatable for me. Im about to finish my IT degree, but ive been thinking of going into psychology because of my interest. but im not even sure about that, and I havent experienced much work in IT yet. So ill stay with IT for now, and if i sens it isnt for me, ill go anather route.
also psychology is like 8-10 years of studying if you want to become clinical, so thats way more of a investment than just feeling out a hobby
@@Chris23399 yes but if he’s interested in it , 8-10 years isn’t a bad thing.
Well, OBVIOUSLY the answer is figuring out how to use architecture as a storytelling medium!
Perfect timing,
I invest 11 years in being a lawyer (5 collage + 6 practicing law) for family influence. I also have Bipolar Disorder, which is pretty hard, especially in this line of work (unpredictability)
My passion is science and engineer.
For like 3 years I figure out that I have to change course. In the last 2 years I start to go to engineering School (online) so i can build a realistic plan.
Although Is the literary worse time to quit (Invited to be a big partner in the firm) know I'm sure that I should pull the trigger (in the good way) and make the change without the fear of an unbearable regret (because I tried so hard and got so far But in the end, it kind of matter)
I may regret leaving, but I'm sure regret staying
Having done exactly what is described here I can 100% agree with what Dr. K. has said.
I worked 10 years as an architect and now I quit and have a good financial cushion to do what I want to do.
@Dr.K.
You were meant to be a psychiatrist. You are the best and you help so many people by doing what you do.
But how can I not be afraid of failure, when, for example, entering the work force is increseangly harder as you get older? How do you deal with the tension and contradiction of taking risks and no screwing opportunities?
This is for me quite revolutionary thought - to listen to my soul which will tell me if the change/experience I'm going through makes me happy or unhappy. That our emotions are guiding us and telling us if we are on the right place and so even bad emotions or mistakes or unhappiness is all part of it. It is only like a two years that I'm able to feel my feelings, paying them attention, since childhood I was almost like a stone because of some trauma. So I'm learning to listen to my inner experience and also see my inner conflicts, too.
Man this one really good. I'm always thinking about passion vs career. I hope I make the right choice! 🙏
Dr k is a freakin genius idk if y’all realize what he’s doing but he’s damn smart
💜 I feel the anxiety slowly melting away so helpful and relatable - man I gotta stop zooming in on the tiny percentage of rich young kids making me feel behind in life cuz I’m a 25 year old barista still figuring shit out 😭😂
I'm so grateful I learned a lot of these lessons growing up with a parent who changed careers radically in his mid 40s. I still struggle with regrets and "damn why tf didn't I do this sooner" but it's all good when I look at the bigger picture. I pretty much figured out what I want in my late 20s but it took some more years to get rid of a lot of mental blocks to actually make it happen.
The key is to not regret your effort. If you try something and it fails, you don't regret it if you truly believed in it and did what you could. That's how you die happy imo. If this guy goes into storytelling and realizes it's not actually his passion and he was just running from something else, *then* he will regret it.
This is literally the best video to pop up in my feed thank you DrK!!
Dr K. just made me rethink how I used to regret "wasting" last 11 years of my life.
Awesome video! I have made the choice of leaving too early before and have regretted, but also have learned throughout that experience what drives me through my work/dream balance. I also had the safety net of my parents, which I’m extremely grateful for, and now can really enjoy my work and also work towards my dreams! 🎉
after deep thinking of my passion i wanted to pursue rapping but realized theres a shit ton of wanna be rappers especially in this generation so i decided it will take time and showing talent.. so i decided i must pursue a smart and good paying career.. while the side hustle will be traveling and rapping to one day get noticed. my talent in rapping is free styling without writing and just being alone which is why i want to truck drive and rap at the same time.
"That tenacity of wanting my kid to be #1 is directly correlated to their perception of what they had to give up"
Oof. that... that's accurate.
I dropped out of college after a year, was an au-pair for half a year, did 3 years apprentisship, worked 4 years in that profession, quit and lived of my savings for half a year, did another 3 year apprentisship and have now found the perfect job and boss for me. I don't count any day of that as a waste. It's all live experience. And if i'm happy with a choice in the moment, i know i won't regret it.
Ah yes I love coping with my uncertainties with escapism
Being too drained and burned out by the day job to put even a fraction of the effort I need to into what I really want to do is what's getting to me.
About relationships & feelings- so many people are entering relationships with fantastical expectations around their feelings. They expect to feel that rush that occurs at the beginning THE ENTIRE TIME. And then once the honeymoon phase is over, they’re bored, and then done.
this makes me feel so much better about not knowing how to answer the ''what will you do when you grow up'' question. there is so much to life and creative outlets to turn in to a career. I either wanted to be a vet, cartoonist, something in the medical field or an author. but as I grew I realized I had no talent or skill at all. I know I couldn't be a good tattoo artist, author, musician or some kind of athlete. right now I'm looking after my kids but now at 25 i think I really want to work on a movie or tv series set. either making the set, creating the props or creating the character and costume. I really love learning how its all done and I'm blown away by the magic of it. right now I'm just stuck at where the hell do I start. I was horrible at school and what courses and certifications would I need. also im really glad i stumbled across this channel. everything ive seen so far has made so much sense
This was so unbelievably comforting/motivating. I definitely feel like I'm on my last last respawn in life and it's definitely giving me the tenacity you're talking about.
Man Dr.K you have contributed so much to my mental health, ability to make life choices and being able to actually love life in general.
I hope someday I'll be able to give you a hug and buy you a meal.
GGWP
As someone who is also deciding whether to continue studying architecture or switch to animation and illustration this was extremely helpful thank you😅💕☺️ continue down the path until it no longer works and then take that new found knowledge and apply it to a new direction with full certainty!
this was a very important video for me, i've reassured myself that choosing to pursue gamedev for any cost over university degree is going to be at the very least a journey that I'll take full pride in.
This changed my view on everything. I am currently in the exact same situation (only studying law school instead of architecture) and this finally opened my eyes. I cannot be grateful enough. Thank you a lot. It means everything to me.
I think the fact that he even has a plan A (potential stable career where he’s making good money) and B (a passion he’s certain of ) means he’s ahead of most of us.
I’m so glad Dr. K zigzagged his way to us. I can’t imagine my life without his help.
Thank you, Dr. K share so much wisdom and reminds us that time is experience. Never truly wasted. Ill be gone soon from this place to play music for people I dont and will never know. Im not afraid anymore to take this chance. We will all make it friends, Stay the course till ends meet earth and the sky falls.
Here is another good thing to note. Once you gain experience and knowledge in something especially after 6 years that is not something you forget. You keep it on your resume and for your next venture. So it is only a mistake if you never learned anything essentially. You will aquire skills that will benefit you for the next step, so sure you may regret studying something but it does not mean you were left with nothing at the end of it. Be it extra skills or the simple fact that you succeeded in finishing your studies.
It's through the unhappiness that we know what feels right and what feels wrong
THAT Mind IS Not Wasted!
*Gratitude Sir
This is timed so perfectly!! I'm literally two days away from a major career change and have been stressing about it for weeks!
Following your passion doesn’t mean you won’t sometimes (or most of the time) hate work. I think a lot of people think it’s an either or situation. Either you hate work or you follow your passion and work will be perfect. I followed my passion for art and graphics, I work in motion graphics for tv commercials and trailers, occasionally it’s awesome but most of the time it’s awful and I work on some tedious, boring animation for a week straight getting nothing but negative feedback. I’m learning to find fulfillment outside of work because work is still work whether it’s your passion or not. I’m proof you can follow your passion, have a career that in theory is awesome but have nothing but regrets.
This gave me so much motivation
11:15 not a waste
11:40
13:40 take a walk, look around
14:10 u cant blame U for making a mistake
14:50 fear of making a mistake, but it can help u figure things out
15:40 no regrets when u reach that point, ok to change
let exp be your guide, u cant predict, u may feel regret w either passion/degree
18:00 a lot of times in life, u think choices r binary,
but life is open world
18:50 gave it a fair shot, & then left w the knowledge/exp
dont avoid the exp
20:20
21:10 true, dont regret not leaving earlier
bc it launches u into the new w more passion/appreciation > doubt/possiblr regret (u'll never know if u made the 'right choice')
22:50 for ur own reasons
!!23:50 gaining exp 24:20 **ability to develop a worth ethic** in the absence of motivation, cant rely on only passion 25:28 not recognising that value, until u sacrificed for it
tenacity comes from making mistakes, then u have no regrets
26:30 everyone wants that passion, but no one wants to pay the price
26:40 3rd route: work on that side hussle
27:30 wait til its worth it, bc u'll know
size of sacrifice boosts ur confirmation
28:00 e.g. helicopter parents living vicariously thru kids
29:25 missing out on enjoyment, part of it, make mistakes
30:18 !! where's this idea "for the rest of ur life"?
u can work at it & quit to pursue other endeavours
As an undergrad student studying in their second year, the idea that people get where they have to choose one major and do that job for the rest of their life comes from myself wanting financial stability, but also I had many people such as parents and highschool teachers saying that the program you decide to go in will be the most important and biggest life decision ever, and that you have to choose a major and make sure you like it because that's the job that you will do for the rest of your life. This always made me scared because then i would fear regret and would constantly think about if the major I chose was what aligned with what a want to do. Dr. K thank you for the advice on following your dreams! It is so hopeful to know that I don't have to do the same job for the 40 years or so I will be working after college, because I can use my internal compass to know if what I am doing in my life as a career is right or wrong and change based on dissatisfaction.
Physics was my true passion, but I was pushed by my parents and teachers to study computer science instead. I hated it since day one, even switched universities, nothing helped. My mental health got worse and worse. I was quite suicidal. Now I only need to pass two more classes and do my thesis, but it just feels like too much. I know I won't enjoy it as a job either, but I am too tired mentally to pursue any other degree, I just want to start living, but I don't see what I could enjoy doing that doesn't require a degree.
I empathise man, its so hard. I did engineering for 3 years before I decided enough was enough and made the change to physics. It sounds like you dont want to do any extra study, so maybe see any fields with overlap in CS and physics that you might enjoy!
So grateful for this video 🙏 Since I've somehow rediscovered your channel every video you put out actually deals with struggles that I deal with on a daily basis.
So thankful for your support to the community and people ❤ Wish you all the best and I hope you'll reach 1 million subs soon.
My biggest fear was always not knowing what career I wanted to pursue, but now knowing what it is, I'm terrified of not being able to achieve that
22:22 very true! I feel better now with my decisions :)