The ironic thing about the first story to me is how OP doesn't seem to realize that, in completely overblowing the possibility of losing her best friend, she straight up made that a reality.
I agree with you. It seems like OP LOVED her best friend but her friend is a straight woman who fell in love with and married a man. However, if OP was just upset about the friendship, then yeah... she destroyed that friendship herself. OP is disgusting and is a creep. She seems very obsessive of her friend.
@@rollothecat2010 I think it´s because now OP wasn´t the first priority for her soon to be ex-bestfriend and because being married with someone usually followed by a change in their life routines that could means that she can´t just drop everything and go hang out with OP on a short notice like before. Not to mention if they ever have a child, she´ll have even more less free time.
First story - “I ruined my best friend’s wedding because I decided only MY feelings mattered. Please tell me that I am a victim and that my friend was wrong for being angry.” The narcissism special.
This is why I telling people that every feeling they have is valid and matters is wrong. Because not every feeling that flashes across your brain is valid or matters. And you should have developed that in childhood.
@@LLandS18 On this we disagree. Feelings are always valid and matter to the person experiencing them, and when those are unhappy we absolutely should consider why we feel that way rather than shoving them under the rug. Not all feelings need to be voiced, however, at least to anyone other than our therapist or counselor.
@@margaretjohnson6259 this is where you actually develop your own life and not be codependent on them when they wish for a family. Its very creepy to not want the best for your bestie.
@@Grouchbox not all feelings are valid. I have feelings sometimes when I'm upset that I know are not valid feelings I'm just upset. Working through your feelings and understanding why you're feeling the way you're feeling either on your own or with the therapist is healthy necessary but it's not validating them. To me validating something means you're saying those feelings are okay and in a lot of situations they're not okay. We all have feelings were not proud of and that's okay but that doesn't mean those feelings are worthy of validation from yourself or others. Especially when those others are the ones we've hurt. I think what the problem is is we have two different definitions of the word validate. Honestly different definitions of words are probably what 90% of disagreements on TH-camr about
@@yesterdayitrained I agree he only said he loved her at first to keep her and now that he has her his TRUE COLORS are out in full force and I would RUUUUUUN like heck from a man like that
I had the same operation and you know what.... my boyfriend didn't go to work that day. He took care of me. Because the bleeding would not stop, he called the hospital for more info on what to do.. THAT is what a boyfriend supposed to do.
It's ridiculous I've heard/read several stories like this & I'm somehow always surprised at the callousness of spouses even it is a minor surgery your husband/wife should be there to take you home. I've taken off work multiple times to be with my mom or sister for minor surgeries simply because they need a ride home. If your spouse/family can't be with you for big stuff like surgery how can you trust them to ever be there for the truly massive life-changing moments when you'll need support most.
I read "most honest speech" in the title and i already know OP is the idiot. After hearing the story: If you were sad before because your frienship dynamic changed, then congratulations, you won't have to worry about that because you don't have a frienship anymore.
I think it’s very disturbing how so many people feel like it’s OK to say anything because they’re “just being honest”. No , you’re just being a jerk. The “honesty” part isn’t actually relevant.
My “best friend” did this at my going away party for college. Even with just like 6 other close friends there it was insanely uncomfortable and awkward. Like...did you honestly think after 4 years of me telling you all I wanted was to get out of this town, I’d still somehow pass up a scholarship to stick around here and be your...sidekick? Cuz NO. You don’t make other people responsible for YOUR emotions.
Story 1 I watched a similar situation: The best man was the grooms best friend for like a decade. He started his speech with "I'm not gonna lie: I don't like this! I hate change and this scares the shit out of me." Followed by 10 minutes about this day is not about him and about how good the who are for each other. So if OP was honestly concerned and wasn't just making everything about themselves, this might have gone over better.
This is a great story- a very honest and mature way to deal with conflicting feelings. It shows how much the best man cares for the groom- by showing the groom & bride’s happiness was more important than his own feelings. Bravo!
@HowToPnP I kept my best man speech extremely simple, about a minute of complements, and a rather massive self deprecating joke. (To try to keep it short, I was the fattest of the groomsmen, and with the arrangement, it went from fattest to thinnest, and I threw out a "if Husband gets to my waistline, its grounds for divorce" joke. which went over real well. Just putting this out there, you can get away with comments like the above commenters post, as long as you acknowledge the goodness that there will be in the future relationship. OP had non of this, and I am only 00:45 into the clip.
@@onurkneezb Yep. Making a joke about yourself is something everybody can identify with and share in the humor. Making a joke about someone else just makes people uncomfortable or worse.
As the sister of an adopted brother, we never lied to him and we never stood in his way when he wanted to find his bio family. He has since found them, and now understands why he was adopted. He is happy to be part of our family.
Wow... OP in first story sounds SO JEALOUS and is a toxic AH who thinks friend's lives revolve around her. Second story: OP should annul the marriage and RUN. How sad for OP to find out that she was a witch in disguise after thinking he had found such a sweet woman. That is GRADE A EVIL STEPMOM material right there.
Well if you're on the spectrum, like some of us out there are, change is really hard to deal with no matter your age. But I think this woman is just your regular narcissist
@@ajzephyros7454 Change is difficult for everyone. However, your comment did bring up a good point- maybe OP is on the spectrum? That might explain why she can’t understand that honesty is not always something that needs to be vocalized.
Two of my BFF'S got married to each other and I was in OP'S shoes maid of honor and I was fine with it they were both happy and as long as they were happy I was happy and yeah the three of us don't get to see each other as often as we use to but we talk to each other through social media and the phone so it's all good
@@yesterdayitrained speaking as someone on the spectrum, from the way she wrote I didn't get the feeling she's on the spectrum. I know personally, and most of my friends who are also on the spectrum would have been apologizing profusely once someone brought it to our attention that the toast was not socially acceptable. Like I said this reads like textbook narcissism
the dental surgery story: that's a relationship ender. He spent the weekend gaming instead of helping him? WTF? If you don't leave, you're only hurting yourself.
So she wasnt able to take care of herself a day after oral surgery? LMAO. How long after oral surgey should one expect to be babied? I also want to point out, if this was real, and she was fighting with sedation 4 hours later, she wouldn't know WTF was going on and she wouldn't be in pain at that point. Thats the point of sedation. I bet he didn't do something she wanted and threw a fit, went to reddit and embellished her story just so she could get sympathy. Yall need to use your head. LOL
I would have loved to listen to the conversations people were having about OP. I suspect that OP loved her best friend but when she met and ultimately got married to the love of her life (who wasn't her), she got upset and disguised it as 'my best friend is leaving me and our friendship because she's getting married wah wuah wuahhh!' OP sounds obsessive, which is just super creepy. OP sounds like a creep.
I am surprised she wasn’t asked to leave. I’m not one to say “kick X out”, but when the entire purpose of a wedding is to celebrate the union of two people for a lifetime, and you publicly lament how sad said union makes you, I would expect that you would be politely asked to leave. Not because of the speech, but because your feelings are in direct conflict with the actual wedding/marriage itself.
I broke my ankle at around the 6 month mark of dating. My boyfriend moved me into his apartment until I was better. He carried me upstaird, helped me shower, cooked and drove me to every appointment because in his words "that's just what you do”. He's my husband now, we've been together 11 years and have 2 kids.
In re: Dental Surgery. I was in a similar situation some years back. I needed the day dental surgery, had no car, and no family nearby. I called a home nursing agency to hire an aid for the day. She picked me up at my house, drove me to the appointment, stayed in the lobby during the procedure (the Dental Surgeon required this), drove me home (the Dental Surgeon this as well), stopped by the pharmacy to pick up the needed pain med & then did some minor food shopping for me before she went home. Next time, hire an aid. Less trouble. btw Your pharmacist should have jumped you to the head of the line, mine did.
Unfortunately, most people can barely afford to go to the dentist, much less hire a private aide. And you were lucky the pharmacy jumped you to the front - most won't do that, and that's per policy and QA holds. Sometimes, they'll accept a phone in script, but rarely will they move you ahead.
First story she's in the wrong big time I read the article before it was even posted. And to be honest this is a woman who I think either has secret feelings for her best friend or she literally has so much hatred for the man for no reason that I think she's literally willing to make her best friend's moment all about her and not about the woman that's about to be married. And to be honest this is a woman who may want to be prepared to have no friends for a while because let's be real here she knows that if everybody and her friend will be saying she's in the wrong she's about to lose a lot more people in her in a circle than she thought she's in the wrong thing and get some major counseling and therapy
OP narcissism oozes through everybody line. She only upset because friend isn’t giving her 100% of her attention anymore. OP lost her footstool, not a friend.
I agree with all your points. OP sounds like she does love her friend but the man got in the way and she took all her pent up anger out on their wedding day by making it all about her. OP sounds like a creep and I hope that friend cuts off the friendship.
That dental surgery story hit me hard since I had a similar experience. I'd needed a dental procedure and barely knew anything in the city my ex had me move to. His dad paid for the house so he picked it without my input and never let me forget that he owned the place. I had no car, no family there and only knew the way to a groceries store and the train station. I'm very insecure about going to unfamiliar places alone because I ALWAYS get horribly lost. I'd discussed the appointment with my then boyfriend. He agreed to take me. Some months later, roughly a week or so before the actual appointment, I give him a reminder. He went OFF on me because he'd not taken any time off work, could get into trouble for taking off on short notice and screamed at me about being needy. I rarely asked for anything in our relationship, and this might have been the second time I'd asked him to take time off, the first being a dentist appointment for us both that I had to make him go to because he was terrified of the dentist. After a heated argument he contacted a relative of his to vent and that person agreed to take me since I said I didn't know the way (true) and they had free time that day. On the appointment day, I offhandedly pointed out the parking when we arrived to the building, since that was the ONE thing I recalled from the only other time I'd been there as it was a bit unusual. The relative of his said nothing. I had my appointment, went fine. When I got back in the car, unable to speak and in some discomfort, his relative berated me the entire ride back, claiming I lied about not knowing the way because I could point out the parking. I was unable to defend myself as I COULD NOT SPEAK. Although I split up with that boyfriend, cut contact with his family and moved back to my old hometown about a year after, this gave me a trauma that caused me to panic at the thought of a dentist appointment for years. Eventual health issues caused me to bite the bullet and get an appointment at a close-by dentist my mother recommended, in a location I was very familiar with. These people were very gentle and helped soothe my trauma to the point where I can now get regular check-ups again, with their aid. They are awesome. And my ex is an ex for a reason.
Never, ever ever in your life be this weak again. We ball our hands up and call them fists for a reason. Protect yourself because at the end of the day you are all you truly have
Story 4: NTA. Hun, he just show that he’s not a good partner. You asked him ahead of time, he gripped when he had to wait for your surgery to get done, he didn’t help the majority of the time. I don’t know what your long term plans are but he’s already shown his garbage at the “In sickness and in health” part.
Story 2: NTA. So the story she’s going with is that she was overwhelmed and asked the photographer to cut your child out of the wedding photos, but still have pretty much every one else?
Yep. If you want pictures with just your husband you ask the photographer to take those. Usually a good photographer will suggest things, like a few pictures with just the adults, just the grooms side of the family, just the women in the families, bride and groom with the kids...etc. What the wife did was on purpose.
Yeah cause when Im overwhelmed I dont comfort eat or binge watch TV. I destress by editing out innocent children out of family photos. It really calms the nerves.
Divorce you've only been married for a short time it won't be that difficult you could probably even get the marriage annulled. Your son needs to come first no matter what. Not some bitch that thinks it's okay to cut him out of the pictures at your wedding
I read this post on AITA and picked up on the red flags that OP should have immediately picked up on. His wife literally love bombed his son. She got him nice things, she gave him money, she did all of the things that abusers do when they are getting past the defences of their victims. My stepdad did all of this when he first met me and my siblings. He's emotionally, verbally, mentally, and financially abusive... even bordering on physically abusive. He's a narcissist that refuses to get therapy even though police and mental health experts say that he's abusive.
Dentist story: the OP needs to dump the bf. My husband (bf at the time) took the entire day off when I had my wisdom teeth removed. That's a man. That's a partner who cares and loves you
There's something wrong with OP in the first story. I am friends with many married people, some of whom I knew long before they got married when we were all children. Sure, we grew apart in some cases, but the friendship is still there. Who thinks the way OP does when their best friend gets married? Just because somebody gets married doesn't mean that their friendships end. However, OP sounds toxic, especially if she's this obsessive and possessive over her friends. She's the definition of creepy woman friend.
That suggestion revealed alot about his new wife. 1. She was willing to bring a child into an adult dispute- to “win”. 2. She cared very little about her husband’s feelings (the ones she should care about) by trying to redirect the argument. Run, run, run away!
Story1: Gigantic YTA. Holy crap, this OP really does live on her own planet! I hope the BFF recognizes OP for the self-absorbed inconsiderate narcissist that she is, and cuts contact altogether.
Yup!!!!! You can’t justify your behavior!!!!! You can say your unhappy for loosing your friend, but thrilled for her future. That’s both honest and kind!!! You ended your friendship!!!!!!
Story 4: ‘boyfriend of 15 years’ tells you everything you need to know. This man doesn’t love OP, or he would have married her by now. If you plan to actually spend the rest of your life with someone a marriage or at least civil partnership is necessary for legal reasons. He’s with her either for sex, for someone to do housework, or just because he’s used to her. One job’s worth of work isn’t worth abandoning your partner during a medical emergency
@@bhart3321 not wanting to get married doesn’t really matter. If you plan to have a joint life with someone you need to have legal protections in place. A civil partnership will do that, and if after 15 years you haven’t legally made those steps you clearly don’t plan to stay with that person
also why assume something like this without having a backup plan anyway, their circumstances changed with having the baby, op's changed with the divorce they should stop acting so spoiled.
story 1: While I can understand the fear of losing a friend, I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would be so dumb and selfish to do what OP did🤦🏻 Their feelings aren't wrong but their actions are unacceptable. I forgot the number but the story with the adopted OP: Imagine having the audacity to call OP "ungrateful" for wanting to distance himself from his adoptive parents after what they did. As if he owes them just because they picked him. Disgusting. Stay in touch with your bio-mom OP and make a new family far away from those controlling freaks.
1st story literally what the expression " read the room" means. OP was supposed to give a nice speech honoring the happy couple to go on about your friendship changing yikes 😬 I'm cringing just hearing this could only imagine being there.
To the Woman who had surgery with the extremely selfish Boyfriend. DUMP HIM! He SHOULD feel bad! He WAS unreasonable! Imagine a pregnancy! You are not the idiot, not even a teeny bit! He is horrifically selfish! Unbelievable! Do not waste one more hour with him! OP, you should not be with this jerk. A Real Boyfriend would never dream of abandoning you like that. I wish you much strength in leaving him!
2nd Story: NTA Dude she's showing her true colors... Get an annulment ASAP this is giving me evil stepmother vibes. Get counciling w ur son to see if there other things u missed because narcissist ten to not hide to much around kid due to the fact that adults explain away what they don't truly want to face
Story about the oral surgery- OP, you've been dating this man for 15 years and he treats you like dog crap. This is a sad story. I had an oral surgery a year ago. The pain brought me to tears. My husband took 2 days off and purchased anything I needed. But you had to have seen these signs way before this.
OP in the first story proved the first law of human relationships: If you try to use manipulation to avoid an outcome , then you will always bring about the very thing that you are trying to avoid.
Grandparent. NTI In order for a grandparent to treat "all grandkids eqaully" as far as babysitting is concerned is virtually impossible. This would require the grandparents life stops and they are in the same position when the last grandkid was born as the first. This is not realistic. Grandparents often help when they can and should try to treat all grandkids equal when they are around them or giving them gifts but at the end of the day the PARENTS are the ones who need to take care of the kids. I mean really, the son and his wife actually made plans around grandma watching the kids? What if she had a medical emergency or died would they still blame her for being unfair? She needs a job to keep living as she had a life change. Bad planning on the parents part is not favoritism on grandmothers part.
S1- I had a best friend from childhood. She and I grew up. She has a family. I have a family. We moved from one another. But I'm still hope and pray everyday that shes happy. Just because it's sad doesn't mean you make yourself into a martyr. OP used her soapbox to make a cross.
Second story - the OP's "examples" of how his wife loves his son are literally all monetary. You don't have to love someone to throw money at them. I've seen people throw money at others to buy affection, to make them to away, to keep them controlled all kinds of different reasons for doing it, RARELY have I seen the root cause being "love." Dude needs to open his eyes.
Dentist visit story: My EX husband wouldn't even treat me that way. He has helped me a lot even after our divorce, if we were still together, there is no way he would do that, no significant other should treat their partner that way.
God when I recently had ONE tooth pulled (much less a whole oral surgery! ) my man stayed by my side the whole day then messaged me every hour the next day when he was at work. I really hope op dumps that idiot and finds a new partner or make some new friends.
If I found out my brand new spouse edited my kid out of our wedding photos while on the honeymoon, I'd also have gone home immediately. Next stop would be my lawyer for an annulment. No way I would subject my child to some two-faced person who clearly hates them. Absolutely a deal breaker.
Story #4 Dental surgery 10:20 I feel for OP. Dental surgery is a pain. Now that she has had teeth removed, it's time for removing the boyfriend. I guarantee removing boyfriend will hurt, not as bad though. 15 year relationship. 4 Months prior knowledge. Care given of 3 hours, out of twelve (I can't help it, I'm generous.). This is what the marriage would be. Twice as bad, if there was children. Set him loose, to repair cars. This relationship, is beyond repair. Teeth removed, boyfriend removed. It's a full, and satisfying day. Good Luck, OP.
In the last story, I agree with the commenter who said the adoptive parents were insecure. And they turned that insecurity into a self fulfilling prophecy.
Dental surgery story: I initially though ESH, but no, the bf is definitely the AH. The hour-long wait was not OP's fault, so BF's TA there for getting on her case, AND for booking a job the day of her surgery. If he typically works that many hours he can afford to lose only 8 of them. I will say OP should have advocated for herself and said "I need to wait on these prescriptions/please expedite filling these prescriptions, I need them urgently as I am in pain from a big dental surgery." Pharmacies *will* accomodate as best they can for a patient. I should know! I came from retail pharmacy! The 1.5 h could have been only 30 min or less! This would have saved them both a lot of grief, and literal pain. Still, he wouldn't have stayed like he was supposed to. He put work and money over HER! 15 YEARS!! D: So glad they aren't married, cuz this proves when push comes to shove he won't be there for her. :c It's so sad.
Final Story: NTA. You don’t owe them anything. They chose to be parents, just because they adopted you doesn’t suddenly make them saint that need to be praised for what they did. Besides I’m hearing a slew of toxic behavior from them. I wouldn’t blame you for going No Contact.
I wonder about the adoption. OP said grandparents were religious and took baby away to be adopted. Was this a couple they knew, also religious? Also as narrow minded as the grandparents and OP didn't realize until she did something against their wishes?
Sounds like the adoptive parents are afraid they'll lose OP to her Bio mom or she'll love Bio mom better, still their behavior is way out of line. If they were good loving parents they shouldn't worry about it .
That first story, what kind of psychotic entitlement goes on in people's heads like this? Sweet Jesus this crap makes me happy that if I ever get married Im not having a bridal party
Story 1: yeah op has an EX BFF. Cause that's exactly what her behavior deserves. You don't ruin someone's day cause you're in your feelings. Story 4: Get someone else for the next surgery? Op didn't have anyone for the FIRST surgery. Recover and drop him asap. This is relationship ending and more than a little abusive.
I am ancient. I have never married. The friends who do rarely stay because their lives have changed. They do couple things with other couples, they have kids, and they don't have time to do stuff with someone where it doesn't involve a playdate with kids. Surprisingly, some have come back into my life after the kids have their own lives, others don't. It's life. Deal with it.
Exactly. Life moves you onward: you change, others change, circumstances change. Continue to make new friends throughout your life and you'll always have friends.
Okay if you want to take one or two picture without the kid fine if it's just you too but if it's your family and she's cutting him out hell to the no she wants not to have them in her family pictures okay that's fine too but it doesn't sound like the new Mommy dearest is really going to work too well does it. She showed you who she really is believer.
Dental appt Throw that BF back, he is worthless and you can do waaayyy better. He does not care about you at all. At this point you would be better off living on your own with the dog. A good dog walker is more responsible than your BF.
Dental surgery - Last time i had a procedure that would need pain meds i asked for a script days before the procedure so I could get the medication and have it ready while feeling well and could talk to the pharmacist. I have gone to that dentist long enough that he would do that for me.
Look look some adopted parents can handle it some can't. But you are a grown up now you need to make your own decisions. Tell your parents you are an adult now my decisions are mine if I want your opinion I'll ask thank you
Fourth story you're not in the wrong here however I think it's time for you to reevaluate the relationship and maybe starting over from scratching being single for a while. Think about you moving with this man since you were 17 nearly 18 and this whole time you basically have been probably used to his treatment for years and the one time you ask him to help take care of you he doesn't want to. In fact this is borderline emotional and psychological abuse. You're not in the wrong here but it's time for you to reevaluate the relationship and ask yourself do I continue to deserve this
I'll never understand how, unless for medical reasons or unless your adoptive parents are abusive monsters, adopted people are so desperate to find their 'bio mom' or 'bio dad' and 'have a relationship' with them. Imagine raising and loving a child, singing it to sleep, kissing boo boos better, wiping their shitty bottoms, etc. etc., only for the kid to get stars in their eyes, imagining their 'bio mom' as some victim Cinderella and far, far superior to ole, humdrum, everyday mom and dad, with their *expectations* and their *rules* and then running off and proclaiming 'bio mom' to be their Real Parent TM. Only ONE person I knew did the opposite; she got very mad when her 'bio family' tried to contact here, wanting her to 'get a relationship with her Real Family' and she spat out, "my parents are my Real Parents - you are NOTHING to me!'. Good on her, I say.
I understand what you are saying. This must be every adoptive parents worst fear, after loving a child their entire life you still are not their real parent. There are children who linger in foster care hoping to be part of a family forever. They would give anything to be adopted. I get being curious about finding out about where you story began who you look like , why the gave you up. However it is a real slap in the face to the people who loved you for and sacrificed for your entire life to give you the best and make you happy only to be replaced by someone who gave you away. People never think about the hurt caused to the adoptive parents it's like they are not allowed to have feelings.
Love this channel but I’m really struggling with these backgrounds. I usually have to read as well as try listen to take them in and the white writing and the bright backgrounds are making it so difficult 😞
Story 1. Yep, OP apparently didn’t want her relationship with her BFF to change so she nuked it. At least she never has to worry about it changing again. “Honesty” is a good thing but there are some situations where a person needs to just suck it up and pretend. Even if she just absolutely could not hold in her loss at “losing” her best friend, she could’ve ended the speech with something like, “(Bride) has been my BFF for years. She’s been my ride or die, my shoulder to cry on, and I’m going to miss her! But I’m very excited for her now that she’s off on an whole new adventure with (Groom), who better take good care of m’ girl. (Stern look at groom, then wink at bride & groom) That would’ve acknowledged OP feeling a bit lost but mainly would’ve shown excitement for her supposed friend. (I also wonder if maybe OP’s feelings were a bit more than friendship. She’s seems to be taking this worse than a lot of people take a divorce.)
I have 3 sisters and my mum took time off when they had their first baby including travelling to England for my eldest sister. When I had my eldest my mum couldn’t take time off because she had booked off time for my sisters wedding. I was really hurt at the time but I understood why.
STORY #1 YTA. You ruined your friend’s wedding because you’re too selfish to be happy for her on a day meant to celebrate her love. Don’t be surprised if this ends the friendship. STORY #2 NTA. Wife is unfortunately showing her true colors. She excluded your son, and only your son, from group photos. STORY #3 NTA. Your work situation changed, so asking you to jeopardize your retirement is infeasible. STORY #4 NTA. You need to break up with this bastard. He left you alone during a time when you were in pain and explicitly needed supervision, got angry when you asked him to read instructions for care, and decided to “punish” you by not helping you all weekend. STORY #5 NTA. These people belittled, insulted, and lied to OP for years. They lost the privilege to be honored as parents at OP’s wedding.
Who else thought story 1 was going to be something else entirely? From the thumbnail and other common Reddit tropes, I expected the BFF to be marrying OP’s ex that she cheated with and tried to mend things with OP. Then OP plays along and pretends to forgive them both to get her revenge by giving an honest speech at the wedding. I doubt this story is even true as OP is being a very special kind of kind here.
The ironic thing about the first story to me is how OP doesn't seem to realize that, in completely overblowing the possibility of losing her best friend, she straight up made that a reality.
I agree with you. It seems like OP LOVED her best friend but her friend is a straight woman who fell in love with and married a man. However, if OP was just upset about the friendship, then yeah... she destroyed that friendship herself. OP is disgusting and is a creep. She seems very obsessive of her friend.
How does your friend getting married mean you cannot remain friends? OP does not understand. Men do it all the time.
“Irony” at its best.
@@rollothecat2010 maybe because people can drift apart because their lives becomes too busy, but that's part of life
@@rollothecat2010 I think it´s because now OP wasn´t the first priority for her soon to be ex-bestfriend and because being married with someone usually followed by a change in their life routines that could means that she can´t just drop everything and go hang out with OP on a short notice like before.
Not to mention if they ever have a child, she´ll have even more less free time.
First story - “I ruined my best friend’s wedding because I decided only MY feelings mattered. Please tell me that I am a victim and that my friend was wrong for being angry.” The narcissism special.
This is why I telling people that every feeling they have is valid and matters is wrong. Because not every feeling that flashes across your brain is valid or matters. And you should have developed that in childhood.
@@LLandS18 On this we disagree. Feelings are always valid and matter to the person experiencing them, and when those are unhappy we absolutely should consider why we feel that way rather than shoving them under the rug. Not all feelings need to be voiced, however, at least to anyone other than our therapist or counselor.
no. how many people have lost friendships because their friends got married and were gone from their lives. it hurts. it gets lonely.
@@margaretjohnson6259 this is where you actually develop your own life and not be codependent on them when they wish for a family. Its very creepy to not want the best for your bestie.
@@Grouchbox not all feelings are valid. I have feelings sometimes when I'm upset that I know are not valid feelings I'm just upset. Working through your feelings and understanding why you're feeling the way you're feeling either on your own or with the therapist is healthy necessary but it's not validating them. To me validating something means you're saying those feelings are okay and in a lot of situations they're not okay. We all have feelings were not proud of and that's okay but that doesn't mean those feelings are worthy of validation from yourself or others. Especially when those others are the ones we've hurt. I think what the problem is is we have two different definitions of the word validate. Honestly different definitions of words are probably what 90% of disagreements on TH-camr about
I can't even IMAGINE letting someone I love be in that much pain FOR HOURS while I...went to work.
Agree. Thing is, he doesn’t actually love her.
@@yesterdayitrained I agree he only said he loved her at first to keep her and now that he has her his TRUE COLORS are out in full force and I would RUUUUUUN like heck from a man like that
I had the same operation and you know what.... my boyfriend didn't go to work that day. He took care of me. Because the bleeding would not stop, he called the hospital for more info on what to do.. THAT is what a boyfriend supposed to do.
It's ridiculous I've heard/read several stories like this & I'm somehow always surprised at the callousness of spouses even it is a minor surgery your husband/wife should be there to take you home. I've taken off work multiple times to be with my mom or sister for minor surgeries simply because they need a ride home. If your spouse/family can't be with you for big stuff like surgery how can you trust them to ever be there for the truly massive life-changing moments when you'll need support most.
@@paulinadeboer3604 you are a very lucky to have a boyfriend like that DO NOT LET HIM GO
I read "most honest speech" in the title and i already know OP is the idiot.
After hearing the story: If you were sad before because your frienship dynamic changed, then congratulations, you won't have to worry about that because you don't have a frienship anymore.
That's what I was thinking!! "Oh you're upset about her getting married?? Well you won't have a friend AT ALL now! "
lol nah
I think it’s very disturbing how so many people feel like it’s OK to say anything because they’re “just being honest”. No , you’re just being a jerk. The “honesty” part isn’t actually relevant.
My “best friend” did this at my going away party for college. Even with just like 6 other close friends there it was insanely uncomfortable and awkward. Like...did you honestly think after 4 years of me telling you all I wanted was to get out of this town, I’d still somehow pass up a scholarship to stick around here and be your...sidekick?
Cuz NO. You don’t make other people responsible for YOUR emotions.
Story 1
I watched a similar situation: The best man was the grooms best friend for like a decade. He started his speech with "I'm not gonna lie: I don't like this! I hate change and this scares the shit out of me." Followed by 10 minutes about this day is not about him and about how good the who are for each other.
So if OP was honestly concerned and wasn't just making everything about themselves, this might have gone over better.
This is a great story- a very honest and mature way to deal with conflicting feelings. It shows how much the best man cares for the groom- by showing the groom & bride’s happiness was more important than his own feelings. Bravo!
@HowToPnP I kept my best man speech extremely simple, about a minute of complements, and a rather massive self deprecating joke. (To try to keep it short, I was the fattest of the groomsmen, and with the arrangement, it went from fattest to thinnest, and I threw out a "if Husband gets to my waistline, its grounds for divorce" joke. which went over real well. Just putting this out there, you can get away with comments like the above commenters post, as long as you acknowledge the goodness that there will be in the future relationship. OP had non of this, and I am only 00:45 into the clip.
@@onurkneezb Yep. Making a joke about yourself is something everybody can identify with and share in the humor. Making a joke about someone else just makes people uncomfortable or worse.
As the sister of an adopted brother, we never lied to him and we never stood in his way when he wanted to find his bio family. He has since found them, and now understands why he was adopted. He is happy to be part of our family.
Wow... OP in first story sounds SO JEALOUS and is a toxic AH who thinks friend's lives revolve around her.
Second story: OP should annul the marriage and RUN. How sad for OP to find out that she was a witch in disguise after thinking he had found such a sweet woman.
That is GRADE A EVIL STEPMOM material right there.
Man, it’s amazing how some longtime friends just can’t handle change, especially as adults. Change is inevitable.
Well if you're on the spectrum, like some of us out there are, change is really hard to deal with no matter your age. But I think this woman is just your regular narcissist
@@ajzephyros7454 Change is difficult for everyone.
However, your comment did bring up a good point- maybe OP is on the spectrum? That might explain why she can’t understand that honesty is not always something that needs to be vocalized.
Two of my BFF'S got married to each other and I was in OP'S shoes maid of honor and I was fine with it they were both happy and as long as they were happy I was happy and yeah the three of us don't get to see each other as often as we use to but we talk to each other through social media and the phone so it's all good
@@yesterdayitrained speaking as someone on the spectrum, from the way she wrote I didn't get the feeling she's on the spectrum. I know personally, and most of my friends who are also on the spectrum would have been apologizing profusely once someone brought it to our attention that the toast was not socially acceptable. Like I said this reads like textbook narcissism
Wow - I can't believe OP#1 made that kind of speech at a wedding!!!
the dental surgery story: that's a relationship ender. He spent the weekend gaming instead of helping him? WTF? If you don't leave, you're only hurting yourself.
After fifteen years together, he showed how much he really doesn’t care about her. I hope she takes this is as a lesson learned and drops him.
It is alarming that she said he was the only person she had close by to depend on.
So she wasnt able to take care of herself a day after oral surgery? LMAO. How long after oral surgey should one expect to be babied? I also want to point out, if this was real, and she was fighting with sedation 4 hours later, she wouldn't know WTF was going on and she wouldn't be in pain at that point. Thats the point of sedation. I bet he didn't do something she wanted and threw a fit, went to reddit and embellished her story just so she could get sympathy. Yall need to use your head. LOL
@@ButtonsCasey Hello troll
@@ButtonsCasey Apparently you've never had oral surgery.
Whoa. That whole wedding must have been so awkward after. I kinda wish I’d been there.
I'm glad I wasn't there, I'd probably be dead from 2nd hand embarrassment by now. I'd cringe myself to death.😳😳😂😂
I would have loved to listen to the conversations people were having about OP. I suspect that OP loved her best friend but when she met and ultimately got married to the love of her life (who wasn't her), she got upset and disguised it as 'my best friend is leaving me and our friendship because she's getting married wah wuah wuahhh!'
OP sounds obsessive, which is just super creepy. OP sounds like a creep.
I am surprised she wasn’t asked to leave. I’m not one to say “kick X out”, but when the entire purpose of a wedding is to celebrate the union of two people for a lifetime, and you publicly lament how sad said union makes you, I would expect that you would be politely asked to leave.
Not because of the speech, but because your feelings are in direct conflict with the actual wedding/marriage itself.
Omgsh same Hahahahaha
I broke my ankle at around the 6 month mark of dating. My boyfriend moved me into his apartment until I was better. He carried me upstaird, helped me shower, cooked and drove me to every appointment because in his words "that's just what you do”. He's my husband now, we've been together 11 years and have 2 kids.
In re: Dental Surgery. I was in a similar situation some years back. I needed the day dental surgery, had no car, and no family nearby. I called a home nursing agency to hire an aid for the day. She picked me up at my house, drove me to the appointment, stayed in the lobby during the procedure (the Dental Surgeon required this), drove me home (the Dental Surgeon this as well), stopped by the pharmacy to pick up the needed pain med & then did some minor food shopping for me before she went home. Next time, hire an aid. Less trouble. btw Your pharmacist should have jumped you to the head of the line, mine did.
It’s easier to dump the selfish BF.
Although it’s a good suggestion for those with need someone.
The things you can learn on the internet! 😀
Pretty sure the bf would've made a stink about that. "YOU HAVE ME TO TAKE CARE OF YOU! EHY WOULD YOU WASTE (MY) MONEY ON SOMETHING UNNECESSARY?!"
Unfortunately, most people can barely afford to go to the dentist, much less hire a private aide. And you were lucky the pharmacy jumped you to the front - most won't do that, and that's per policy and QA holds. Sometimes, they'll accept a phone in script, but rarely will they move you ahead.
First story she's in the wrong big time I read the article before it was even posted. And to be honest this is a woman who I think either has secret feelings for her best friend or she literally has so much hatred for the man for no reason that I think she's literally willing to make her best friend's moment all about her and not about the woman that's about to be married. And to be honest this is a woman who may want to be prepared to have no friends for a while because let's be real here she knows that if everybody and her friend will be saying she's in the wrong she's about to lose a lot more people in her in a circle than she thought she's in the wrong thing and get some major counseling and therapy
funny too that she writes BFF still ...... that is wow holly shit that woman no
OP narcissism oozes through everybody line. She only upset because friend isn’t giving her 100% of her attention anymore. OP lost her footstool, not a friend.
oh boo hoo i hope new hubby leaves her!
It's a one sided dependent relationship. It's found in a few personality disorders as a diagnostic criteria.
I agree with all your points. OP sounds like she does love her friend but the man got in the way and she took all her pent up anger out on their wedding day by making it all about her. OP sounds like a creep and I hope that friend cuts off the friendship.
That dental surgery story hit me hard since I had a similar experience. I'd needed a dental procedure and barely knew anything in the city my ex had me move to. His dad paid for the house so he picked it without my input and never let me forget that he owned the place. I had no car, no family there and only knew the way to a groceries store and the train station. I'm very insecure about going to unfamiliar places alone because I ALWAYS get horribly lost. I'd discussed the appointment with my then boyfriend. He agreed to take me. Some months later, roughly a week or so before the actual appointment, I give him a reminder. He went OFF on me because he'd not taken any time off work, could get into trouble for taking off on short notice and screamed at me about being needy. I rarely asked for anything in our relationship, and this might have been the second time I'd asked him to take time off, the first being a dentist appointment for us both that I had to make him go to because he was terrified of the dentist. After a heated argument he contacted a relative of his to vent and that person agreed to take me since I said I didn't know the way (true) and they had free time that day.
On the appointment day, I offhandedly pointed out the parking when we arrived to the building, since that was the ONE thing I recalled from the only other time I'd been there as it was a bit unusual. The relative of his said nothing. I had my appointment, went fine. When I got back in the car, unable to speak and in some discomfort, his relative berated me the entire ride back, claiming I lied about not knowing the way because I could point out the parking. I was unable to defend myself as I COULD NOT SPEAK. Although I split up with that boyfriend, cut contact with his family and moved back to my old hometown about a year after, this gave me a trauma that caused me to panic at the thought of a dentist appointment for years. Eventual health issues caused me to bite the bullet and get an appointment at a close-by dentist my mother recommended, in a location I was very familiar with. These people were very gentle and helped soothe my trauma to the point where I can now get regular check-ups again, with their aid. They are awesome. And my ex is an ex for a reason.
Never, ever ever in your life be this weak again. We ball our hands up and call them fists for a reason. Protect yourself because at the end of the day you are all you truly have
Story 4: NTA. Hun, he just show that he’s not a good partner. You asked him ahead of time, he gripped when he had to wait for your surgery to get done, he didn’t help the majority of the time. I don’t know what your long term plans are but he’s already shown his garbage at the “In sickness and in health” part.
He just showed he’s NOT a partner.
Your last sentence. I guess that's why after 15 years together he's a "boyfriend" and not a "husband."
She literally erased OP's son. She's been a phony this whole time.
It wouldn't have been the same thing had she excluded everyone else, to have just a couple of couple only pics, but that's not what happened here.
@@ChrisAndCats agree and that is the biggest prove he has physical wise
@@joimumu I think he would have an issue there going forward if he wasn't around to watch
Story 2: NTA. So the story she’s going with is that she was overwhelmed and asked the photographer to cut your child out of the wedding photos, but still have pretty much every one else?
Yep. If you want pictures with just your husband you ask the photographer to take those. Usually a good photographer will suggest things, like a few pictures with just the adults, just the grooms side of the family, just the women in the families, bride and groom with the kids...etc. What the wife did was on purpose.
Yeah cause when Im overwhelmed I dont comfort eat or binge watch TV. I destress by editing out innocent children out of family photos. It really calms the nerves.
Divorce you've only been married for a short time it won't be that difficult you could probably even get the marriage annulled. Your son needs to come first no matter what. Not some bitch that thinks it's okay to cut him out of the pictures at your wedding
@@beepbopboop7727 🤣😂🤣🤣
I read this post on AITA and picked up on the red flags that OP should have immediately picked up on. His wife literally love bombed his son. She got him nice things, she gave him money, she did all of the things that abusers do when they are getting past the defences of their victims. My stepdad did all of this when he first met me and my siblings. He's emotionally, verbally, mentally, and financially abusive... even bordering on physically abusive. He's a narcissist that refuses to get therapy even though police and mental health experts say that he's abusive.
Dentist story: the OP needs to dump the bf. My husband (bf at the time) took the entire day off when I had my wisdom teeth removed. That's a man. That's a partner who cares and loves you
There's something wrong with OP in the first story. I am friends with many married people, some of whom I knew long before they got married when we were all children. Sure, we grew apart in some cases, but the friendship is still there. Who thinks the way OP does when their best friend gets married? Just because somebody gets married doesn't mean that their friendships end. However, OP sounds toxic, especially if she's this obsessive and possessive over her friends. She's the definition of creepy woman friend.
"Jesus, are you actually out of your mind?" is spot on.
Story one: Holy self-absorbtion batman!
🤣🤣🤣
Story 1 is the most unbelievable AH I have ever heard.
With friends like that who needs enemies….
1st Story. YTA!!!! You are absolutely disgusting for doing that at her wedding. You should've spoken to her before or after the wedding.
Wtf wrong in that woman head
she wants people to feel sorry for her, it goes to show the immaturity that OP has. Her friend needs to dump her.
Why didn't she just fart audibly and then step off the podium? It would have been the same thing.
@@Z.O.1991 a preemptive strike. You can't dump me I dumped you first. At your wedding.
Circumstances are SO completely different now ….. if he can’t see that, there is no hope for him!!!!
'How she'd call my son to show he really doesn't care about it." Only good response against that is:" I care about my son being in the pictures!" 😠
An adult is asking a 12 year old if he cares if he is cropped out of his father's wedding pictures? That is twisted.
That suggestion revealed alot about his new wife.
1. She was willing to bring a child into an adult dispute- to “win”.
2. She cared very little about her husband’s feelings (the ones she should care about) by trying to redirect the argument.
Run, run, run away!
@@yesterdayitrained She also bribed the kid to like her.
Story1: Gigantic YTA. Holy crap, this OP really does live on her own planet! I hope the BFF recognizes OP for the self-absorbed inconsiderate narcissist that she is, and cuts contact altogether.
Yup!!!!! You can’t justify your behavior!!!!! You can say your unhappy for loosing your friend, but thrilled for her future. That’s both honest and kind!!! You ended your friendship!!!!!!
Story 4: ‘boyfriend of 15 years’ tells you everything you need to know. This man doesn’t love OP, or he would have married her by now. If you plan to actually spend the rest of your life with someone a marriage or at least civil partnership is necessary for legal reasons. He’s with her either for sex, for someone to do housework, or just because he’s used to her. One job’s worth of work isn’t worth abandoning your partner during a medical emergency
Agree he's an ah for how he treated her but contrary to popular belief not everyone wants to get married so that doesn't actually prove anything.
@@bhart3321 not wanting to get married doesn’t really matter. If you plan to have a joint life with someone you need to have legal protections in place. A civil partnership will do that, and if after 15 years you haven’t legally made those steps you clearly don’t plan to stay with that person
This is not a "partner". As soon as possible, you need to get yourself gone. What a jerk!
First story- I feel so bad for the bride having to crop out OP from all her wedding pictures that she’s in. OP is embarrassing
Story 1: “Aita for making a speech complaining that my bff doesn’t spend ‘enough time’ with me anymore at her wedding?”
Story 3: NTA. This isn’t a issue of favoritism, it an issue of timing and resources.
Exactly. Circumstances change. It’s too much to ask someone to take an entire year off work twice.
also why assume something like this without having a backup plan anyway, their circumstances changed with having the baby, op's changed with the divorce they should stop acting so spoiled.
Wonder if this was the son objecting to the divorce
Man, imagine life being all about you and thus you need to always spew your feelings all the time.
story 1: While I can understand the fear of losing a friend, I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would be so dumb and selfish to do what OP did🤦🏻
Their feelings aren't wrong but their actions are unacceptable.
I forgot the number but the story with the adopted OP:
Imagine having the audacity to call OP "ungrateful" for wanting to distance himself from his adoptive parents after what they did.
As if he owes them just because they picked him. Disgusting.
Stay in touch with your bio-mom OP and make a new family far away from those controlling freaks.
1st story literally what the expression " read the room" means. OP was supposed to give a nice speech honoring the happy couple to go on about your friendship changing yikes 😬 I'm cringing just hearing this could only imagine being there.
To the Woman who had surgery with the extremely selfish Boyfriend. DUMP HIM! He SHOULD feel bad! He WAS unreasonable! Imagine a pregnancy! You are not the idiot, not even a teeny bit! He is horrifically selfish! Unbelievable! Do not waste one more hour with him! OP, you should not be with this jerk. A Real Boyfriend would never dream of abandoning you like that. I wish you much strength in leaving him!
2nd Story:
NTA
Dude she's showing her true colors... Get an annulment ASAP this is giving me evil stepmother vibes. Get counciling w ur son to see if there other things u missed because narcissist ten to not hide to much around kid due to the fact that adults explain away what they don't truly want to face
Story about the oral surgery- OP, you've been dating this man for 15 years and he treats you like dog crap. This is a sad story. I had an oral surgery a year ago. The pain brought me to tears. My husband took 2 days off and purchased anything I needed. But you had to have seen these signs way before this.
Your bff is getting married. She is now her husband's bff. Time to move aside and let the happy couple be happy.
Good afternoon XOS. Thanks for the stories. Have a great day
OP in the first story proved the first law of human relationships: If you try to use manipulation to avoid an outcome , then you will always bring about the very thing that you are trying to avoid.
Grandparent. NTI
In order for a grandparent to treat "all grandkids eqaully" as far as babysitting is concerned is virtually impossible. This would require the grandparents life stops and they are in the same position when the last grandkid was born as the first. This is not realistic. Grandparents often help when they can and should try to treat all grandkids equal when they are around them or giving them gifts but at the end of the day the PARENTS are the ones who need to take care of the kids.
I mean really, the son and his wife actually made plans around grandma watching the kids? What if she had a medical emergency or died would they still blame her for being unfair? She needs a job to keep living as she had a life change. Bad planning on the parents part is not favoritism on grandmothers part.
Yes- how did the son “make plans” without ever consulting his mother?
2nd Story, new wife was playing the long game. And he fell for it.
Yeah, telling people that you're sad but have to suck it up and pretend to be happy for the married couple is like, the opposite of sucking it up.
OP with the mechanic boyfriend found out who she's been shacking up with. He doesn't care about her or the dog.
Telling someone they should be grateful to be adopted is the same as telling someone they should be grateful for being born
S1- I had a best friend from childhood. She and I grew up. She has a family. I have a family. We moved from one another. But I'm still hope and pray everyday that shes happy. Just because it's sad doesn't mean you make yourself into a martyr.
OP used her soapbox to make a cross.
Second story - the OP's "examples" of how his wife loves his son are literally all monetary. You don't have to love someone to throw money at them. I've seen people throw money at others to buy affection, to make them to away, to keep them controlled all kinds of different reasons for doing it, RARELY have I seen the root cause being "love." Dude needs to open his eyes.
Story 2 I'd get an annulment. This is marriage ending behavior. All she had to do was take some photos just the 2 of them.
Or edit everyone out of one or two whilst still keeping the originals as well. That's not, however, what happened here.
Dentist visit story: My EX husband wouldn't even treat me that way. He has helped me a lot even after our divorce, if we were still together, there is no way he would do that, no significant other should treat their partner that way.
This is what happens when you tell someone they are the center of the world for their entire lives and they continue aging.
Wedding photos: It's not important if the son cares, OP cares. Either she understands that or it's time to annul.
Bio mom: Whoever says you're ungrateful, are also people to remove from your life.
1st story. Ytah. What a good friend to take someone else’s wedding day and make it all about yourself.
The 'I'm just being honest line' such utter BS!
💯💯💯💯💯
@@yesterdayitrained I'm reading responses and find I agree with all of yours.
God when I recently had ONE tooth pulled (much less a whole oral surgery! ) my man stayed by my side the whole day then messaged me every hour the next day when he was at work. I really hope op dumps that idiot and finds a new partner or make some new friends.
If I found out my brand new spouse edited my kid out of our wedding photos while on the honeymoon, I'd also have gone home immediately. Next stop would be my lawyer for an annulment. No way I would subject my child to some two-faced person who clearly hates them. Absolutely a deal breaker.
Wow, just wow YTA
Story #4 Dental surgery 10:20
I feel for OP. Dental surgery is a pain.
Now that she has had teeth removed, it's time for removing the boyfriend.
I guarantee removing boyfriend will hurt, not as bad though.
15 year relationship. 4 Months prior knowledge.
Care given of 3 hours, out of twelve (I can't help it, I'm generous.).
This is what the marriage would be. Twice as bad, if there was children.
Set him loose, to repair cars.
This relationship, is beyond repair.
Teeth removed, boyfriend removed.
It's a full, and satisfying day.
Good Luck, OP.
In the last story, I agree with the commenter who said the adoptive parents were insecure. And they turned that insecurity into a self fulfilling prophecy.
Story 1: You weren't the main character. You are selfish!
Dental surgery story: I initially though ESH, but no, the bf is definitely the AH. The hour-long wait was not OP's fault, so BF's TA there for getting on her case, AND for booking a job the day of her surgery. If he typically works that many hours he can afford to lose only 8 of them. I will say OP should have advocated for herself and said "I need to wait on these prescriptions/please expedite filling these prescriptions, I need them urgently as I am in pain from a big dental surgery." Pharmacies *will* accomodate as best they can for a patient. I should know! I came from retail pharmacy! The 1.5 h could have been only 30 min or less! This would have saved them both a lot of grief, and literal pain. Still, he wouldn't have stayed like he was supposed to. He put work and money over HER! 15 YEARS!! D: So glad they aren't married, cuz this proves when push comes to shove he won't be there for her. :c It's so sad.
Final Story: NTA. You don’t owe them anything. They chose to be parents, just because they adopted you doesn’t suddenly make them saint that need to be praised for what they did. Besides I’m hearing a slew of toxic behavior from them. I wouldn’t blame you for going No Contact.
I wonder about the adoption. OP said grandparents were religious and took baby away to be adopted. Was this a couple they knew, also religious? Also as narrow minded as the grandparents and OP didn't realize until she did something against their wishes?
Sounds like the adoptive parents are afraid they'll lose OP to her Bio mom or she'll love Bio mom better, still their behavior is way out of line. If they were good loving parents they shouldn't worry about it .
@@lyndatuttle That was my thought too.
Excuse me, buuuuttt responsible means NOT ABUSIVE AND WILL ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOUR PAIN. Also, run. RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
You on first story are not a friend. What you did was beyond deplorable. God bless your poor friend.
Dear OP1, she isn't your bff anymore.
Things change after divorce. Mother and the children are learning that now.
My “best friend” more or less said I was sleeping my way across the state during my wedding and didn’t get why I was upset.
New XO video LEETS GOOOOOO
That first story, what kind of psychotic entitlement goes on in people's heads like this? Sweet Jesus this crap makes me happy that if I ever get married Im not having a bridal party
Why are you with this man?????? Ditch him!!!! Are you this pathetic…..you need to take action!!!!!
Story 1: yeah op has an EX BFF. Cause that's exactly what her behavior deserves. You don't ruin someone's day cause you're in your feelings.
Story 4: Get someone else for the next surgery? Op didn't have anyone for the FIRST surgery. Recover and drop him asap. This is relationship ending and more than a little abusive.
So heartbreaking for the adoptee.
Love you xo ❤
First story: imagine turning your best friends wedding into a woe is me moment.
OP #1: You can't control you feelings, but you damn sure can control your behavior. OP is TA.
I am ancient. I have never married. The friends who do rarely stay because their lives have changed. They do couple things with other couples, they have kids, and they don't have time to do stuff with someone where it doesn't involve a playdate with kids. Surprisingly, some have come back into my life after the kids have their own lives, others don't. It's life. Deal with it.
Exactly. Life moves you onward: you change, others change, circumstances change. Continue to make new friends throughout your life and you'll always have friends.
Okay if you want to take one or two picture without the kid fine if it's just you too but if it's your family and she's cutting him out hell to the no she wants not to have them in her family pictures okay that's fine too but it doesn't sound like the new Mommy dearest is really going to work too well does it. She showed you who she really is believer.
Dental appt
Throw that BF back, he is worthless and you can do waaayyy better. He does not care about you at all. At this point you would be better off living on your own with the dog. A good dog walker is more responsible than your BF.
1st Story. Your feelings were inappropriate in that setting. Apparently the audience thought so too. They were speechless! You are the AH.
Dental surgery - Last time i had a procedure that would need pain meds i asked for a script days before the procedure so I could get the medication and have it ready while feeling well and could talk to the pharmacist. I have gone to that dentist long enough that he would do that for me.
You choose him. He doesn't need instruction to take care of you. You get what you choose baby.
Look look some adopted parents can handle it some can't. But you are a grown up now you need to make your own decisions. Tell your parents you are an adult now my decisions are mine if I want your opinion I'll ask thank you
This is the kind of friend who would invite the wife out for girl's night out and encourage her to hook up with some random dude.
Fourth story you're not in the wrong here however I think it's time for you to reevaluate the relationship and maybe starting over from scratching being single for a while. Think about you moving with this man since you were 17 nearly 18 and this whole time you basically have been probably used to his treatment for years and the one time you ask him to help take care of you he doesn't want to. In fact this is borderline emotional and psychological abuse. You're not in the wrong here but it's time for you to reevaluate the relationship and ask yourself do I continue to deserve this
I'll never understand how, unless for medical reasons or unless your adoptive parents are abusive monsters, adopted people are so desperate to find their 'bio mom' or 'bio dad' and 'have a relationship' with them. Imagine raising and loving a child, singing it to sleep, kissing boo boos better, wiping their shitty bottoms, etc. etc., only for the kid to get stars in their eyes, imagining their 'bio mom' as some victim Cinderella and far, far superior to ole, humdrum, everyday mom and dad, with their *expectations* and their *rules* and then running off and proclaiming 'bio mom' to be their Real Parent TM. Only ONE person I knew did the opposite; she got very mad when her 'bio family' tried to contact here, wanting her to 'get a relationship with her Real Family' and she spat out, "my parents are my Real Parents - you are NOTHING to me!'. Good on her, I say.
I understand what you are saying. This must be every adoptive parents worst fear, after loving a child their entire life you still are not their real parent. There are children who linger in foster care hoping to be part of a family forever. They would give anything to be adopted. I get being curious about finding out about where you story began who you look like , why the gave you up. However it is a real slap in the face to the people who loved you for and sacrificed for your entire life to give you the best and make you happy only to be replaced by someone who gave you away. People never think about the hurt caused to the adoptive parents it's like they are not allowed to have feelings.
Last story: One of the only time I may say the kid should just go no contact with an adoptive family
Love this channel but I’m really struggling with these backgrounds. I usually have to read as well as try listen to take them in and the white writing and the bright backgrounds are making it so difficult 😞
Story 1. Yep, OP apparently didn’t want her relationship with her BFF to change so she nuked it. At least she never has to worry about it changing again.
“Honesty” is a good thing but there are some situations where a person needs to just suck it up and pretend. Even if she just absolutely could not hold in her loss at “losing” her best friend, she could’ve ended the speech with something like, “(Bride) has been my BFF for years. She’s been my ride or die, my shoulder to cry on, and I’m going to miss her! But I’m very excited for her now that she’s off on an whole new adventure with (Groom), who better take good care of m’ girl. (Stern look at groom, then wink at bride & groom)
That would’ve acknowledged OP feeling a bit lost but mainly would’ve shown excitement for her supposed friend.
(I also wonder if maybe OP’s feelings were a bit more than friendship. She’s seems to be taking this worse than a lot of people take a divorce.)
NTI. Ditch the idiot and someone who actually loves you. 💝🙏💝
I have 3 sisters and my mum took time off when they had their first baby including travelling to England for my eldest sister. When I had my eldest my mum couldn’t take time off because she had booked off time for my sisters wedding. I was really hurt at the time but I understood why.
That's really messed up. You deserved for her to be there for you too.
STORY #1
YTA. You ruined your friend’s wedding because you’re too selfish to be happy for her on a day meant to celebrate her love. Don’t be surprised if this ends the friendship.
STORY #2
NTA. Wife is unfortunately showing her true colors. She excluded your son, and only your son, from group photos.
STORY #3
NTA. Your work situation changed, so asking you to jeopardize your retirement is infeasible.
STORY #4
NTA. You need to break up with this bastard. He left you alone during a time when you were in pain and explicitly needed supervision, got angry when you asked him to read instructions for care, and decided to “punish” you by not helping you all weekend.
STORY #5
NTA. These people belittled, insulted, and lied to OP for years. They lost the privilege to be honored as parents at OP’s wedding.
Who else thought story 1 was going to be something else entirely? From the thumbnail and other common Reddit tropes, I expected the BFF to be marrying OP’s ex that she cheated with and tried to mend things with OP. Then OP plays along and pretends to forgive them both to get her revenge by giving an honest speech at the wedding.
I doubt this story is even true as OP is being a very special kind of kind here.
Year off work: It's dad's turn to take a year off.
1st story..wow, mortifying 😮
Story 1 my name is narcissist hear me whine.
if i remember right it's kinda customary for the planned speeches to get a review before they're allowed to happen
She said she tossed the planned speech out the window because it wouldn't have been honest.
Look not only do you need to get someone else to help you after your surgery you need to get someone else to be your boyfriend.