DON'T tell your friends about self improvement.
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have yall ever successfully gotten friends onto self improvement? and how did u do it?
Tried to take a couple friends along with me on my self improvement journey a while back but they all gave up along the way. I just decided to leave em alone and not push it.
I am a loner actually ..my classmates only talk to me when they need my help and they never invited me with them for snacks or anything fun.
They got me on self improvement was pretty easy for them i gues
I have done it 2 times.
But I didn't do it alone.
I was at first a loner, observing how the "normal people" lived their lives in school. Then I found out that one of my friends had found self improvement by himself. And with him, we managed to convince 2 other people.
I think you are making some good points here. But there are certainly ways to do it successfully.
If you tell your closest friend first (or get lucky and they discover it themselves) then both of you convince 1 at a time. The one you are trying to convince will feel like they are missing out. Combine this with some good social skills learned from "How to win Friends and Influence People" and you're good to go.
Great video tho!
hamza
Getting friends on self improvment is like talking to a wall.
i agree
My walls talk to me
can not argue
it really is man. you really have to just make sure that at the end of the day that there is some visible proof that you're better than them so that you can validate all the hard work you do cuz look at it from the friends perspective, if they think they're just as good as you in basically everything, why would they do hard shit just for the sake of it. you should either have rizz, great physique, money or be really good at something that ppl go out of their way to praise you
😂😂 Bruh it’s you
I don't know how old you are and what kind of people are in your class/school, but I used to have the same attitude towards other people at school when I was 15 years old and began self improvement. (Quick heads up: this will be a long comment, but just hear me out). I had just started my sophomore year of high school when I was 15 and I was 3 months into my self-improvement journey, and I lost 34 pounds in 2 months (I was quite a chubby guy), I would wake up at 4:30 AM to go run a mile first thing in the morning and workout and I'd meditate afterwards too. I'd workout again after school as well. Also at that point in my life, I was over a year and a half on my semen retention streak. My grades were better than they ever had been and I had earned respect as one of the top students. I was also way more athletic than I was before because I had gotten obsessed with calisthenics, so people respected me for my ability to do 50+ push ups, 100+ squats, etc.
Just like you however, I would hate talking to the people around me. I came to school after a morning of good work and I knew most of these guys came to school after waking up 10 minutes before their bus arrived. I would watch them shovel french fries and Oreos into their mouths in the cafeteria and casually drink many bottles of juice and soda. Yes, these are bad habits and I still don't indulge in any of them to this day (I'm 19 now). I used to watch a lot of spiritual TH-camrs during this time and got brainwashed into not believing in science because it's "fake and it's made to brainwash us". Some self-improvement TH-camrs have a similar perspective on science too, but it's usually less extreme. So whatever I learned in my physics and chemistry classes never fully stuck in my brain, because I didn't believe in it, despite me being good at maths. There were also times when we'd have social events at school and I'd hate it, because I viewed all the kids around me as NPCs. My mindset was "They're not on self improvement, so they're all a detriment to my life, therefore it'd be pointless to hang out with them". I didn't enjoy school as much as I should've because of this.
Fast forward 2 years to when I turned 17. I started dealing with really bad health problems and I couldn't work out anymore without making my condition worse. I started hating my life and I was suicidal for 5 months straight. I felt like a burden on my parents for not being able to keep myself healthy and I wasn't able to take on more responsibilities like a man should, because that'd increase my stress levels and make my condition worse. During this time, the only moments of joy that I'd experience were those with my parents or at school with my friends/classmates. It was when I went through this time that I realized everyone isn't really an NPC. Yes, a lot of teenagers will blindly follow the crowd and they'll follow whatever social media tells them is right. But they are still human beings with over a decade worth of experiences behind them.
I might not be able to change your perspective on your classmates with this comment, but I think it's just a good thing to keep in the back of your mind until you do have this realization. Whenever we start out on self-improvement, we tend to feel a sort of arrogance that we're better than others, because we move forward in life with the intent to improve in all areas, whereas everyone else won't have that same drive and intent. Be in the present moment and learn to enjoy your time with others, even if you have entirely different principles and goals. Not all your conversations need to be about self improvement. Even later in life, you're going to need to know how to interact with a variety of different people, and some of these people might be your polar opposite. I think the best way you can enjoy your time at school is to open your mind to everything. Obviously, you must have your own principles so you're not influenced by everything, but you'd be surprised to hear one of your classmates say something new that might actually resonate with you.
Strong message brother
yea i've been through the arrogance phase as well and got humbled when I realized I wasnt the most athletic in class
yet
True, had a similiar experience with the spirituality shit, today im uploading a vid bout it.
Thank you for your comment, hopefully the OP sees this.
When you get older, you realize relationships with other humans is the most important thing in life, and it's sad seeing a young highschool kid write off friendships just cause they're not on self improvement. You don't have to like video games to be okay with your friends playing them - just don't play video games. You still need social contact, the loner wolf path doesn't work out in the long term
Your comment is so on point, and it really resonates with me. I was the same in high school, i didn't want to hang out with any of my classmates, thinking that they won't understand me and my lifestyle, underestimating them as people and feeling arrogant, like i'm better than everyone. I've only realised when I came to college how lonely i became because i pushed everyone away, and how important it is to have people and friends in your life and give a chance to everyone, despite our differences
Going through a villain ark won't change anything, true self improvement includes getting better socially, financially and mentally not just physically
i was looking for this type of comment, getting better socially is part of self-improvement. humans are social animals and we needs others to succeed. buissness cant be run by one person. even if your friends are not so eager about self improvement, you should try to influence them and if they are a bad influence on you in some ways try to avoide it, world is full of good and bad influence and you cant just live like there is no bad influence. if friends are too toxic the leave them or else everyone has their good and bad qualities and your friends can help you in many ways. even if your friends are diricking and partying it doesnt mean you cant stay on your path. say to them you arent into this and if they are understanding they are good friends and if they want to keep to their path then its also their right just like we had our own. this youtuber is being toxic, you should tell your friends about self imrpovemnt, some will help or join you or else its you do your stuff and i do mine and lets be friends.
@@asharibsohaib6579 Adding to what you already said, i remember 2-4 years ago when i wasnt intrested in anything but games and fun, and its because i was surrounded by like minded people all my life, you never realise how narrow your point of view is unless you expand your perspectives by meeting new individuals who can introduce you to new aspects of life. I am thankful for these people because thet changed my life completely and helped me become a better person and so should this youtuber do the same by making other people appreciate self improvement.
I can attest to this, at the very start of my self improvement journey I had done through a breakup from a toxic relationship, that caused me to have the villain arc as you say, it turned me into a rageful person, that coupled with me starting high school at the time made it very had to retain old friends and make new ones, I've since recovered and become a wiser person for it, and if it had to happen, i'm glad it happened when it did because the damage can be repaired. Overall, I've become a lot more self-reflective and have gained a heightened sense of mindfulness.
right?? like why go through a villain arc when you can go through a hero story.
@@levramdomain8371 go through hero training arc like an anime chatacter.
You are not above anyone else because you are on a journey. Your journey is valuable and definitely worthy of respect, but the second you start thinking that you are better than everyone else because of it that all goes dispersal. Everyone is on a journey, and believe it or not, some people are comfortable with their lives and don't feel the need to improve it.
Nah, you're just being pathetic, there are people that are better than others. You're only living in a alternative reality by thinking this way.
Tell it to them mario!
I have trouble sharing the view point of the youtuber because of that, everyone has a different journey either or not it's similar to ours.
@@flaere27 This made me laugh LOL
REAL!!!!!
being arrogant is a very bad trait, putting this distance between you and the friends that don't care about self improvement is not really good. Believe it or not being a pleasant person to be around and talk to is still very important. I can say from personal experience that it's absolutely awful to be friends with someone that is convinced they're better than you so at least try not to make it too obvious or you may end up being disliked by people.
that's where you are wrong,''putting this distance between you and the friends that don't care about self improvement '' is absolutely good,that's the thing between having a good future and staying broken and mentally negative for the rest of your live,if someone doesn't care about improvement it means he peaked,you don't want to be around people that peaked young and will never grow
I agree with your point that this way of thinking might make you somehow arrogant, and one of the points of self improvement is to be a better person in all aspects, including social interaction. However, I actually consider important to indeed "put this distance between you and the friends that don't care about self improvement" with the sole objective of focusing more on yourself; What I mean is that you shouldn't get them completely away from you If you don't want to lose some valued friends. Remember a good friend isn't always going to agree with you, but always there for you.
While what you said is completely true, I don’t think that was the point he was trying to get across. No one wants to be friends with someone who’s trying to force them to be interested in something they’re not, so in order to be a better friend, just don’t🤷🏾♂️. Now you don’t have to necessarily distance but if you’re being true to yourself and current friends aren’t a fan of the lifestyle you live, that’s perfectly fine because nobody’s on the same journey and people can grow apart. This is where the bit around 3:34 comes in.
All we need to do is respect each other’s journeys and accept that we’re all individuals at the end of the day
Indeed. Whilst it is true that you may do get actually better than the other people at certain areas, everyone has his own ego and agenda and everyone thinks they're better than you at something. If you challenge that too directly, you will get accross as a know it all to most people (because ego is hurt), and they close themselves to you, because you become monotonous . At least that's what I think happens to me, dunno. The biggest challenge I personally face is communicating what I think, cuz I think deeply. That is something that is guaranteed to happen when you are still leveling up communication. I'm going through it myself occasionally. If you'd wish to be an inspiration and influence them in a positive way, it is very beneficial to let them talk about themselves more and involve humour more. Then copying the behaviour of various people who excel at different types of stuff, including humour, will get you to a unique style. (eye contact is crucial to connect)
Arrogance is a desirable trait; it's only considered "bad" because it scares average people, who themselves are too meek & timid to be truly arrogant. Humility is for insects.
Bro this is not the right mindset. You may feel good about your improvements at first, but you will eventually find yourself being very selfish and cold towards other people. You don't have to force your friends to do what you do but you should always be there willing to help.
Agreed, but it heavily depends. Always try to help, but know your limits.
People can only be helped if they are seeking help. By forcing help upon them, you're disrespecting their boundaries and your own time and self-worth. I've done this multiple times and sure it's going to make you cold, but self-care is not selfish.
agree
I can totally understand cause I've been through this and the results aren't good. So I know ignoring everyone won't help.
@@inplane9970 I agree. Openly invite them them on a life of betterment. If they reject it, their loss. Just move on and continue. If they accept your help, congrats, you have someone eager to listen and and learn how to improve themselves.
Both ends of the spectrum is unhealthy. Remember that. Not wanting to help others is very much selfish. But, Forcing help onto others is still inconsiderate of yourself too. So find your balance.
My closest friends know that I've been looking at these kinds of trends. I tell them how addicting smartphones are, I've talked about technology addiction in those circles; I've definitely brought up this topic to my friends. If they choose to implement the ideas and learn more about it then that is their decision. I cannot force them to. I don't think selfishly wishing myself to get better than my friends is a good thing. If I get a promotion at work because I've stopped doomscrolling that is one thing but I don't find "being better than my friends" to be a good thing. I wish nothing less than society to improve as a whole, that would be amazing! We all could benefit from learning about our modern addictions, and the greedy corporations milking money off of the internet can suffer from society becoming less addicted to the internet and social media.
Never try to change others unless they ask you for it. It's called SELF improvement for a reason. That being said, friends are important and the fact that a potentiel friend is or not into this self improvement culture is not meant to matter in this field. Good luck
I feel these self improvement people feel superior bc they have "a different and rare mindset". I never thought about self improvement as a single concept, or even as a cult. It's just something you do to improve yourself. Being thoughtful about your actions, questioning your choices from time to time, trying to be the best version of yourself and changing the things you don't like about you. But I've never felt anyone was too off from me. I mean I don't have TikTok just because I don't want to spend 6 hours on it (it has happened to me before), but that doesn't mean I don't vibe with that kind of people.
My point is, there are certain groups, where I don't think I would fit, not because I'm better, but because they are different. Sometimes worse, maybe, if they take too much drugs or gamble, idk. But fast food? I rarely take fast food because I feel it's too unhealthy, nonetheless I've never thought of people that regularly take it as inferior to me.
I've committed so much time to a TH-cam comment I planned to be 2 lines of text... I don't know how I ended up elaborating so much. Worst part: I don't even know if my comment makes sense 😹.
I agree w u
And it's funny because it's not even that much "different and rare", like everyone and their mother goes to the gym. If this guy could at least do something different like manage his finances, start a business... but he's SEVENTEEN, his parents still pay for his gym bills, how can somebody talk so confidently about self improvement when he's not even old enough to be self sufficient?
@@JerryO1995not everybody goes gym/works out. But i wouldnt say its rare to find people who do. And yeah i hate how some people think they are reaching new levels of human potential by waking up early and reading a book. ( they might even be getting less sleep which is more detrimental to their health than helpful )
100%
@@ZorothesIayer yeah not everybody does, it was a way of saying that a lot of people do.
Why cant you be on self improvement and just have good friends at the same time, it doesnt matter if they are into video games or not- The truest and best type of friends are those who need to have any common interests with you- as long as their values and good and align with yours, thats what makes a good friend.
"As long as their values align with yours" that's the point lol, so why would he be friends with people who obviously DON'T share his values of excellence & self-improvement? To many, these desires are life-defining. Why would he be friends with those that simply serve to distract from this?
@@KevinJohnson-cv2no I will repost my comment here as it matches with what you have said. Friends with different interests don't "simply serve to distract". They are people, not objects. People always tend to see others very one-dimensionally. You can have different values and interests from a friend and still be good friends. I never understood why people can't accept others that have different beliefs and ways of thinking.
Personally I think people that blame others for "distracting" them just can't take responsability. As long as those friends aren't actively trying to stop you in your tracks and don't get upset when you cannot be with them, they're absolutely fine. Whenever I'm busy and I follow something they don't share an interest in, I don't allow friends to distract me. I simply refuse hanging out and they understand. I do what I have to do first.
Also, I think that being friends to people who are very different from you can be beneficial and fun. You can debate about a lot of interesting things, understand different perspectives, even if you don't agree. You learn to accept others for who they are, as there are so many ways of living and thinking, and as long as they don't harm you, they're perfectly valid aswell. It just depends on who you want to be as a person and what you care about/things you want to accomplish.
I'm tired of the self improvement elitists policing what the "right" way to live is.
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Now, I'm about to tell you a story about my "friends" on self improvement. It's fairly long. I separated it from the original comment.
My friend group got into this self improvement sphere snd started consuming this type of content. I got cut off by my "friends" because they thought I'm low energy and uninteresting (basically we weren't "vibing", or "not on the same wavelength"). I was also trying to follow this self improvement advice, and I'm still trying, as I am interested in "bettering" myself, but I never considered applying it fully as I want to focus on different things. I mostly try applying the workout part and the social aspects.
They consider me a bad influence for them and told me I'm not hard working enough, completely ignoring the fact I just focus on different things that they deem "useless" such as school (I want to get the best grades I can, even if it's useless). To be fair I'm generally lazier. Still, a bad influence is a stretch as I never tried influencing them to do anything they don't want to do. I don't smoke, I never got drunk, I rarely go to clubs or parties and I work out but I was the bad influence apparently. Perhaps they were referring to my world view and my way of thinking.
They told me I seem sad and depressed and they don't want my bad energy to influence them. (I'm not depressed, I'm less motivated and I'm pessimistic sometimes, but I'm still trying to improve and we still got similar interests). Of course, there's also the fact they were telling that about me behind my back. I found out because another friend of mine told me what they're saying about me. Basically they see me as this one dimensional lazy guy that does things half-assedly and is very pessimistic.
I just get the feeling people don't like their friends having different perspectives on life and find it hard to associate with people with different ways of thinking. Maybe they just don't like their views challanged. Still, for the most part I didn't get in their way and encouraged them.
Maybe I am in the wrong and they're actually right. In the end, this is only my perspective. Still, cutting people off like they are objects feels trashy. Just pointing out how I'm supposedly inferior to them felt arrogant, without regard for the one you're telling these things to. I'm glad I found out what they think about me though.
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@@ignatcristian3036 totally agree with you, I also do like a lot to interact with people that has different opinion or general perspectives and it is very interesting. On other hand I do not like the methodical way of the self improvement, something that has to be made on a personal way is being done via a method such as disliking videogames, going to workout every morning, journalling and a large etc. Self improvement is not on TH-cam, is inside oneself.
@@ignatcristian3036 facts
@@ignatcristian3036its just so dumb that this guy in the TH-cam thinks there is only one way to live life.
Darling, comparing spending your time with people with instant gratification is so weird, scary even. Starting on the self improvement journey from school age is fantastic and probably not a lot of your peers will follow that path, but there's nothing wrong with having buddies just for surface level talk and fooling around. We're not robots and need to let loose every once in a while and the more you avoid it, the more you'll regret it later in your life, speaking from experience here. Balance is key, not abstinence.
I agree. I think this video is generally good, but saying that friends are instant gratification is so out of touch with reality.
This- RIGHT HERE. Perfection. Thank you!!!
.
I understand where you're coming from, knowing especially that you've experienced those things yourself. Still you can see that this guy is on the peak of his self improvement journey where all he can do is go all out to not ruin the momentum.
Sure, balance is key but if you'll get a chance to talk to the masters from different fields, you'll see how they take leverage on their "addiction" for improving themselves which leads little to no time for shallow things. The guy is simply sharing what obviously worked for him (hello, he even achieved thousands of subs which means he's getting goals done). Just bcuz you can't relate to it doesn't mean it's wrong. It's also a matter of ones priorities.
@@yelyel2620 I agree with what you're saying, except I don't consider human contact as a shallow thing. Every interaction with a person, regardless how seemingly surface level, has its purpose. It's not the same thing as consuming garbage tv or any other additive "instant dopamine" activity.
It's a fact that you must surround yourself with like-minded people to keep growing, but acting like some people are below you can only fuel you with bitterness for the world and eat you up inside. Not saying that he is like that, mad respect for everything he does, but it's easy to slip into that mindset.
Its a bit extreme to say that people who aren't into self improvement "aren't even your friends". Surely you can have completely different interests compared to other people and still be friends with them.
Well the dude is a school kid with *lots* to figure out (seems to live in a nice neighborhood tho and 20+ students per class sounds like private school). Interesting kind of content to make at that age 🤷🏻
I know right?? I was shocked when he said that
@@modokashii I think he said he has graduated high school in another vid, also I'm in a private high school and we're 30-36 per class so that might not mean anything
Not saying I agree with him though as you can tell by my other reply
You have a point, however he means; when you spend enough time with someone you end up getting influenced by them
@@ebenezereze1480 Well it’s up to the person’s responsibility on themselves if they are going to be influenced by their friends.
You could still be friends with people and have different values and goal from them.
You just need to stay true to yourself.
If the friends aren’t actively trying to stop you then nothing bad is gonna happen.
This is what I did in high school and it was the most regretful thing I've ever done to myself. I realize being humble and being open with the others who has different mindset is also important for my social life. I realize that I found myself the most happiest when I was around them eventhough I was never agree with their habits. It's a shame that everyone seemed to be so awkward around me because I was always being skeptical. It was not that I felt better than any of them, but I urged so much to improve myself and it made me forget to make connection that later would help me in the future. I was surprised that apperantly everyone is also doing well on their things, the friend who I thought always wasting time watching entertainment videos all day even in school ended up studying the language she likes and teaching the language on social media and having many followers. The friend that I thought was not gonna be that good because always not payinh attention in class apperantly got accepted in a school of art that she always dreamed of. I got accepted too in the major I wanted but college life is not as bounding as high school's. While everyone hangs out with their high school's close friends on holidays, I'm not meeting anyone because I was never really close with anyone. The worst thing is because I've always been the ambitious one to be better in high school, everyone expects so much from me and then I realize eventhough I'm good, I'm just an ordinary college student just like them, everyone is the same and that should be just fine. But I feel so horrible about it because I was being so arrogant and now I'm kinda struggling for not having that many friends. My friends get freelance, volunteer, and internship job easier and it's because they share each other the information that's usually hard to find on the internet. Wanting to improve yourself is good, but we don't know that maybe everyone is doing the same too, they just don't really show it, or they're just focus on themselve when they're on their own, and just having fun when they're with friends.
relatable
Wow... thanks for sharing this. It's relatable
Man thankyou sm! For sharing this imma implement your advice in my life...
Very relatable. Nothing like returning to your hometown for the holidays and having no one to connect with. But they're all connecting with each other. Arrogance backfires
"Don't go to them. They will come to you."
Look, i have changed 10 schools and many cities. I meet a lot of new people and the only way to develop good social relations is reaching out to others and showing kindness. No matter how "amazing" or "impressive" you are, do NOT expect people to come licking your boots or something. My cousin who, an year back, got out of her small bubble of world and entered college struggled with exactly this. She was an excellent student and was great with her routine. But she expected people to give her the attention, rather than trying to reach out. I have more nitpicks with the video but others have already pointed them out anyway.
That's not what he's saying, at least not how I interpreted it
He's saying that once you start improving yourself, the people you want to keep as friends are the ones who ask you about it, and the others aren't even really friends (disagree on this part, people can have diff. interests imo). He's not saying 'don't go out and never make friends', he's saying that you should only preach to those asking to be preached.
Hence, don't go telling them, they'll come asking you.
Friends with different interests don't simply serve to distract. They are people, not objects. People always tend to see others very one-dimensionally. You can have different values and interests from a friend and still be good friends. I don't understand why people can't accept others that have different beliefs and ways of thinking.
Personally I think people that blame others for "distracting" them just can't take responsability. As long as those friends aren't actively trying to stop you in your tracks and don't get upset when you cannot be with them, they're absolutely fine. You can sit next to friends that eat junk food, and you can refuse to do so. You can sit next to friends that drink alcohol, and you can refuse to do so. As long as they don't push it down your throat or make fun of you for your decision, it's not their fault. People need to see the good in others. Whenever I'm busy and I follow something they don't share an interest in, I don't allow friends to distract me. I simply refuse hanging out and they understand. I do what I have to do first.
Also, I think that being friends to people who are very different from you can be beneficial and fun. You can debate about a lot of interesting things, understand different perspectives, even if you don't agree. You learn to accept others for who they are, as there are so many ways of living and thinking, and as long as they don't harm you, they're perfectly valid aswell. It just depends on who you want to be as a person,what you care about and what things things you want to accomplish.
I'm tired of the self improvement elitists policing what the "right" way to live is. There's no "right" way to live. If you ever have the occasion to argue with an intelligent person about what they think of life, you'll just understand we simply aren't "wired" the same way. Some people are satisfied by such a lifestyle, some aren't. I really don't mean to make you feel bad or anything, but you sound pretty arrogant throughout the video.
It's very important to have social connections and be a sociable and pleasant person to be around. Talking to people who are convinced they are better than you feels terrible, and trust me, people are able to tell. You are correct when saying you shouldn't try to force your lifestyle onto your friends. Waiting for them to see the changes in your life and come asking you for advice if they are interested is a good thing. But even if they aren't interested, you don't need to cut them out.
Learn to have fun with others, even if you have entirely different views and goals. Not everything you discuss needs to be about self improvement. In life, you'll have to know how to interact with so many kinds of people, and some of which may be totally different from you.
Now, I'm about to tell you a story about my "friends" on self improvement. It's fairly long. I separated it from the original comment, as it's just my personal experience.
My friend group got into this self improvement sphere snd started consuming this type of content.I got on board too. I got cut off by my "friends" because they thought I'm low energy and uninteresting (basically we weren't "vibing", or "not on the same wavelength").
I was also trying to follow this self improvement advice, and I'm still trying, as I am interested in "bettering" myself, but I never considered applying it fully as I want to focus on different things and I don't believe in cutting pleasure entirely. I mostly try applying the workout part and the social aspects.
I've seen some people in the self improvement community that simply cannot understand other perspectives or the concept that not everybody will want to live life the same way as them. They simply think they are correct and people who don't agree just are stubborn and won't listen.
They consider me a bad influence for them and told me I'm not hard working enough, completely ignoring the fact I just focus on different things that they deem "useless" such as school (I want to get the best grades I can, even if it's useless). To be fair I'm generally lazier. Still, a bad influence is a stretch as I never tried influencing them to do anything they don't want to do. I don't smoke, I never got drunk, I rarely go to clubs or parties and I work out but I was the bad influence apparently. Perhaps they were referring to my world view and my way of thinking.
They told me I seem sad and depressed and they don't want my bad energy to influence them. (I'm not depressed, I'm less motivated and I'm pessimistic sometimes, but I'm still trying to improve). Of course, there's also the fact they were saying that about me behind my back. I found out because another friend of mine told me what they're saying about me. Basically they see me as this one dimensional lazy guy that does things half-assedly and is very pessimistic. I had a constant feeling they were acting like they were better than me. It's awful to be friends with someone that is convinced they're better than you.
I just get the feeling people don't like their friends having different perspectives on life and find it hard to associate with people with different ways of thinking. Maybe they just don't like their views challanged. Still, for the most part I didn't get in their way and I encouraged them.
Maybe I am in the wrong and they're actually right. In the end, this is only my perspective. To be honest, hearing you talk reminded me of one of the friends who wants to cut me off. Still, cutting people off like they are objects feels trashy. Just pointing out how I'm supposedly inferior to them felt arrogant, without regard for the one you're telling these things to. I'm glad I found out what they think about me though.
this is very true. All this self improvement stuff is making people into narcissists. No wonder why people say they feel like friendships are shallower nowadays.
i really like your comment,you inspired me;)) now i don't need to have this on my my mind ( self improvement ) and live my life ,accepting the change and the constant,respecting people's world and havin fun;) thank you so much for sharing your experience with us
(Not to sound harsh or anything.)
If your friend just wants other people who have similar goals as him (to call friends), y'all were never meant to be. Not everyone sees friendship the same way.
Some people want to surround themselves with people who have similar goals as them, and others want to surround themselves with different point of views.
He might have cut you off harshly, but at the end of the day, It was gonna come around some how.
I'm someone who cut off my communication with friends, not because I'm on my self-improvement journey, but because I realized I don't enjoy our usual conversations anymore (gossiping about other people, talking about other people's lives as a form of entertainment, instead of talking about ourselves, how can we make our life better or doing fun things that will enrich our lives). At this point in my life, I want to focus on myself more, and I realized I love being alone more than being with other people. I don't have to think about anyone else but only me whenever I make a decision. It's so freeing.
Before, it was always about doing what everybody/the majority wants, not what I exactly wanted. Most of the time, with my friend groups, my tastes are completely different from theirs because I grew up being too sheltered, so it's always me who had to fit in with each friend group that I'll be in at school and at work.
If you'll ask yourself what's the reason why you made friends with your friends today, don't you think it might help you understand your situation better? For a lot of people, they made friends with someone because they met at school, at work, they're in the same community, they share the same hobbies, or they share the same values. They became friends because they share the same interests that they can relate with each other. Unfortunately, if there's no longer a similarity in the interests that they share or they're completely uninterested in what you're talking about, it will feel like you're talking to a wall, it could create a lot of friction in the friendship and it will be like forcing yourself to like something from that person that you're completely no longer interested in. At this point in my life, I wanted to be true to myself and not try to fit in or meet/talk to "friends" almost every day just to hear them talk about the things that I don't value anymore such as gossiping, etc. That will be so draining, and I'll be living a life just to please other people more than myself.
I'm not siding with anyone but if they think that you are sad and depressed and they don't want your energy anymore, and you think that they're just arrogant and they treated you like an object that they can just cut off, don't you think that both of you guys have something negative to say to each other, and because you don't appreciate each other's vibe anymore, then it means that it's about time to focus more on yourself and find new friends who will appreciate your energy more so you don't let each other suffer. We only have 1 life. We don't have to force anything on anyone.
Also, I don't feel like I can consider myself a good friend if I don't truly care about them, and them if they don't truly care about me. If we're just friends only because we wanted to have someone to hang out/talk with, and we just need a companion, that will be an "all about me and what I want" personality and I think we can't call ourselves a true friend that way, but just a "companion' that people can spend time with from time to time, not a friend. A friend is someone who truly cares. who treats you well and respects your boundaries, but will not tolerate your bad behavior. If that's you, then great! What about the people you call "friends"? Is that them? What does being a friend means to you?
@@nugwugaExactly. As u can see most of his write up always continues "as long as", much like an if statement.
I can't say exactly, but I believe over 80% of friends have similar interests and rest are those that considers your opinion. There is always a saying that's almost undebatable, "show me your friends and I will tell you who you are"
I think you just believe there's one and only way around self-improvement; yours. What's wrong with waking up, getting ready and going to class? Not everyone's idea of a good lifestyle focused on improvement is hitting the gym hours before school, at dawn. Not everyone's idea of self improvement is getting physically stronger, starting a business, and whatnot, and not everyone's idea of success is this either. In your school, wherever you are, and however old you are, there are many different types of people, some immature, some less. A lot of them want to find success, a lot of them want to find peace and content. Your idea of success seems to be getting strong, starting a business and making money. Someone else's idea of success may be becoming an expert at something, another's could be helping people in healthcare, someone would adore to be a professor, someone simply wants a garden and a family. The people in your gym are very diverse as well; some are there to get ripped, some are there to simply be healthy and want to stay lean, some are there only temporarily because they want to lose weight or get in shape and don't have any other long-term goals. Not everyone wants what you want, and that is all fine; with humans, all is relative. You said it yourself - when people see you get stronger, and see your business take off, some will find themselves in that and want to be like you, but some will not. The idea that the former are good, and latter are bad, however, is very immature and makes very little sense. There are people who will look at you, and will not find themselves in you nor their goals in yours, simply because they want something different out of life, and just because those goals are different does not make them bad.
just for perspective , i am 17 at the moment of typing this comment ;
i don't really know much about you , but from what i've seen and experienced throughout my life , and from what i observed in the life of other people from all age variants , socializing is an essential part of living , and definitely not a kind of instant pleasure like drugs, video games and such , perhaps , it's the most natural and healthy way to keep the balance of struggle and pleasure in life .
Being different is surely painful , and will set you through really hard times , but that doesn't mean that you can't spend your time with anyone , friends aren't supposed to be the people we become , they're people that we observe , learn from , and in some cases take care of .
Just because your friend can't handle self improvement does not make them an NPC , or a normie , they are also living humans with full conciousness , and you don't have to be like them per say , but that doesn't stop you from trying to help them .
I wish I had your kind of wisdom when I was your age, it would have saved me a lot of time and tears growing up
many comments are giving you constructive criticism. as someone who is on a self-improvement journey, will you shun them or take a moment to sincerely ponder on your mindset? it's tough love, and many of us are telling you because we want to help you. eventually, you will realize that relationships and community are important. while you do have a point, hanging out with people with bad habits makes you prone to developing them too. maybe your point is to make friends with people who push you to do better (hence you going to the gym with your friend), but you said it in a way that most people perceive as arrogance. as many comments are telling you right now, presumably by people who have been on the self-improvement journey before (and have fallen into the same mindset of superiority), this type of thinking will lead you downhill. you need to realize that not a lot of people are constantly trying to improve themselves, but everyone you meet has something to teach you. if you isolate yourself on the basis that they're shallow (which is, by the way, not something you can always assume--how many of your classmates know that you went to the gym that morning?), you rob yourself of the experience of meeting a variety of people and what they have to teach you, and more importantly, community.
Yeah you made a good point like some other people did he kinda needs to hear this i hope he does
this is definitely true. After a few months of self improvement, you can visibly feel the changes and when your friends catch the change, they'll def be so shocked and that reaction is so rewarding and makes you want to get better. You're feeling better you yourself and you're also making others feel motivated or awed from which you gather reward. Its a win win
Wrd any tips on self improvement?
@@syinari8266 work out, eat healthy, study etc, its kind of straight forward, but the hard part is being consistent. Adopt a growth mindset, and dont be too hard on yourself when you inevitably have bad days. if you look, there are a lot of good books that circle this self improvement sphere like "the obstacle is the way" ryan holiday, "meditations" marcus aurelius, "the 48 laws of power" brian greene, "deep work" cal newport, "atomic habits" james clear etc. id say if you arent familiar with growth mindset look into that first, a little better each day adds up to a lot over time. Develop skills you think are important and maybe find a book that you are interested in and give it a read. If you want it bad enough you can really do anything, if you look there are free resources everywhere. you want lifting? greg doucette, jeff nippard, athlean x, jeremy ethier etc and a million different fitness lifestyle people. nutrition? dr sten ekberg, dr eric berg, thomas delauer, exercise4cheatmeals etc. if you have a problem, someone else has probably faced it and you can benefit from their knowledge, mistakes, and good will. Of course I also have to mention the Andrew Huberman lab podcast bc that shit is super useful aswell.
Would like to share the incident behind this comment ?? 😊
@@syinari8266 super easy trick brah, do whatever that makes you happy. I personally see self improvement as this things that will, at least, make you live a happy or less unhappy life later in the future, like working out and having a good health, being economically stable and that sort of stuff. However, never forget that those things arent the only yhings in life, if they fullfill you thats all right, but dont close yourself to only that. Its good to think about for future, and to put effort on it, and its even better if you end up liking putting that effort (like for example enjoying working out, studying, etc), but have in mind that they will definetely be things that you like, and that fullfill you, that arent so "productive", like playing videogames, eating junk food or whatever, and you know? those things are all right too, as long asi you dont destroy yourself. Its about finding an equilibrium between the instant gratification and your future happines, if you can, you will be happy.
I did exactly this, but I ended up being shunned by my group. I used to hang out with my friends in the school library until very late, we went everywhere together, played in each other’s houses. Finals are coming up and I distanced myself to improve my studies. When I came back, I was ostracized by my group IN FRONT OF THE CLASS. They said I was too arrogant because I kept skipping hanging out with them when I worked my butt off to study. It traumatized me. Either I was in the wrong because I didn’t care much about my friend (I chose to study over friends) or they were the toxic ones. Idk.
Yooooo I have a real-life case study example of doing EXACTLY this. I'm an 18 year old girl and I’ve been into self-improvement basically since middle school but really got into it at 16-17 years old. As a girl, it was especially hard to get along with other “normal” girls since its mostly guys who are into the self-improvement world.
Anyways I’d sit alone and listen to Andrew Huberman or nutrition podcasts during lunch and studied during my free time. I did great in school, straight As, 5s in AP classes, worked out, ate strictly whole plants, intermittent fasting with occasional 40 hour fasts, morning sunlight, walks in nature, all that. Had zero social media, didn’t go to prom, homecoming, football games, etc. I thought to myself basically the exact same thing you did-we’re just not on the same wavelengths, they’re onto a path of self-destructive behaviors, we’re all going to different colleges anyways; why even try. So I felt good about self-isolating.
Until I didn’t. The longer I avoided others and focused on myself, the more I got in my head. The more I started analyzing how others saw me, what they thought of me, how I looked, etc. Soon enough I developed social anxiety. And not just like being a lil nervous talking to people, but a full on blushing disorder. And this is coming from someone who was always extremely extroverted and confident as a kid and who always took the lead in class projects/presentations.
It got so bad to the point where I couldn’t even talk about my passions or things that excited me because I’d start turning tomato red lol. And the looks I worked so hard for now became a source of anxiety as I’d turn super red whenever someone called me pretty or complimented my body. But at least I knew about the double inhale/long exhale to relieve stress…
I also started to develop a sort of contempt for the kids just living their lives. How could they be drinking straight sugar and eating all this processed food and have clear skin? How could they be on social media and have all these fake friends on Snapchat and not be depressed? How are could they have zero self-awareness for their actions? Yes I knew they’d probably face some sort of consequence but I wanted them to face it now. And I know that sounds evil cause it was.
However, that’s when I learned that ignorance is bliss. Being with others and socializing is what gets you out of your head. It's what gets you to live in the moment and make fun memories. Not having this extreme self awareness allowed them have functioning social skills.
You don’t have to go out of your way to make friends with others because it will be naturally be harder and they can definitely pull you down. But developing a superiority complex can be detrimental to your mental health and ability to socialize. I’m not saying to go out of your way to become besties with those who vape and drink and party. There are people you should avoid. But there are good “normal” people out there.
Going back to my example, yes there were many girls who all they would talk about was gossip and TV shows-who I would avoid. But there were also funny, decent girls who could’ve given me comfort and confidence in my darkest times-who I also avoided. Stay grounded, cause arrogance will bite you in the back.
Hey girl, abandoning yourself from others was never a good option, similar experience with myself, always try to communicate with others but don't let their bad influence influence you
Your experience was just to late to realize, he is a youtuber and he would never show how he is irl, you are judging him too much, he is not arrogant but just tryna make the video funnier, but some people like you gets offended because of it
hey! i’ve just read your comment and i relate to literally everything you said. im currently 15 years old and i have the same mindset (which i’m trying to change) i isolated myself from all my friends to start my “self-improving” journey. last year i also developed social anxiety which caused me to blush in every situation. and it’s still on going and literally ruining my life..may i ask if your blushing problem was resolved? if not how did you manage to fix it? i would love if you could talk more about this whole topic
this this this thsi this
Hey I am also a girl from India and I have a similar story like you. I isolated myself from very single girl for my studies and I scored very good marks in each and every exam but I lost my social skills and I end up being depressed and live with social anxiety
Like almost every comment here, I just wanted to say that when you self isolate and put yourself on that "self improvement" pedestal because you don't want to associate with anyone else that isn't doing the same thing as you, it's very closed minded and shallow. You don't know what someone else is going through and just because they aren't improving themselves like the way you are, it does not mean that they aren't trying to self improve either. Everyone goes through their own journey and trust me, when you isolate yourself and think you're above others just because of this whole "self improvement" mantra, you're going to be very lonely. There is a way to surround yourself with good and like minded people, while also improving yourself. People suck and are always going to suck, however, each relationship that you develop with each person will help you weed out your friends and help you figure out what kind of people you actually want in your life.
What I did was the opposite of what everyone else does. You don't argue and tell them why what they're doing is bad, the only way to win an argument is to avoid it, no other way.
Every one of these people have some issues, maybe depression, anxiety, low confidence, all that. And if you're really good friends with them, they'll eventually tell you what they're going through, it's human nature to ask for help when you can't go no more. So what I did when someone told me they were down wasn't something like: "see, that's all your bad habits catching up to you" because only like 0.1% of people would say "yeah you're right". Most people will never want to admit their mistakes no matter how wrong they are. What I did instead was to try and understand their situation and look at it from their perspective. They feel down, want someone to be there for them. So I said "it's okay to feel down sometimes, that's just life, I'm going for a hike on saturday to be in nature and clear my head, wanna come with me?" And then just show them how beautiful life on self improvement is. Keep doing that and they'll be spending more time with you, because they will find peace in it. After a while they'll start asking you for other advice and without them even knowing, you got them to self improvement. Just don't shove it down their throats, no one accepts that. Instead, show them how good the better path is, pretty much the same advice as your video. It worked wonders so far. 4 friends and counting...
Thanks for reading!
This is very well thought through 👌
Agreed, let them come to you on their own terms for advice instead of pushing it on them
your a good friend 🫂
I AIN'T READING ALLAT
@@squid-_-4383 TL;DR: Basically just don't be a dick about it, don't shove it down their throats. Instead try to look at it from their perspective and show them how pretty the better life is, hope that helps.
As a person who has gone through this self improvement mindset and has had similar thoughts, I’m upset to see a fellow human being stuck in a harmful perspective that I used to carry.
I think it’s important for you to question your beliefs and roll out the tape on some of these thoughts. I’ll try to be respectful as possible even though the subject matter in the video upsets me.
If you find at anytime reading this, a feeling of defensiveness, denial, or the impulse to discredit what you read in this comment, I invite you to think of where that comes from. If it’s truly because I don’t know what I’m talking about, or a form of ego cropping up to defend this position you have.
Human beings have different perspectives. Vastly. Incredibly vastly different values. And in this perspective you seem to hold, it seems as if you assume a lot out of these classmates that you really didn’t get to know, based on your past experiences with friends who have held you back.
I assume you weren’t always on this grinding lifestyle, that at one point you weren’t happy with how your life was going and you decided to do something about it. Big props to you! But don’t ever get lost in the idea that because you’ve been through something and found a solution that works for you it is something that works for everyone else.
Human beings aren’t on a ladder. These classmates aren’t beneath you whether they do the same things as you (which you don’t know if they did or if they didn’t, it sounds like you didn’t go out on a limb to see, but ran with an assumption) or they don’t. We are all dealt a hand in life different from the people around us, and those who take up their responsibility to try to make it for the better are truly admirable.
But everyone takes that responsibility. Some people have harder barriers, some have unhealthy coping mechanisms which can look like drug abuse- and (this is not meant as a jab but as something to really think about) even things like “maximizing productivity” which gives you a really shiny get out of jail free card when someone tries to give you honest criticism if your identity is tied to being a good person and doing good things. Another unhealthy coping mechanism is putting others down to boost yourself up. Because if these people “just don’t understand” and aren’t “awake” like you are, their criticism is invalid in your mind because you see them as beneath you.
Self improvement grinding, retiring early, turning to religion, joining a cult- any form of finding the answer to something is bullshit. Because there are no blanket solutions in life, where everyone is playing a different game with a different set of challenges.
It is not your job, nor do you have the capacity to “fix” ANYONE, including yourself and it’s wrong to think that your ideology trumps someone else’s because it worked for you and on the OUTSIDE you see in them what you once hated about yourself the most. But your assumptions, and your perspective isn’t the ultimate truth.
Because what makes the world a better place isn’t every motherfucker maximizing every second of their day to output the most. People aren’t fucking machines.
What makes it better is when we have compassion for people who we think don’t deserve it.
Go have an honest conversation with your family, your old friends, and especially these classmates that you put in a box and you’ll realize so fast it’ll make your head spin how little of life you or anyone truly has figured out.
And REALLY listen to them. Probe, ask questions and BE AWARE of what you expect them to be and how you pick the things you want to hear. People need different things because ultimately we’re more like plants that need tending, always growing, and faltering and changing, and never having an end destination- than we are machines.
Great on you to make tangible things in your personal life better. But please try to realize that everyone, especially the people you think you’re better than have a plethora of things for you to learn from. And vice versa. Some people may not be as buff as you or wake up as early as you, but they have other things in their lives that THEY value. And that’s important. Go put down your microphone and listen to them. And you’ll be surprised if you really do so how much of an equal everyone is to you and how non linear things really are.
And you’re not a broken machine either, friend. There is so much more to life than worldly success and productivity connect and learn from other people, hear them out and be willing to be the student and the fool in every interaction. None of us will ever be perfect nor should we. There’s no ladder or leaderboard.
But we can try to learn as much as possible and help others by being honest and open to learning. Good luck my fellow equal gang
touché
Amen
theres balance to everything and if someone doesn't care to waste their life becoming the most skilled, most fit person, that doesn't make them an npc. socializing is important. also, video games arent bad either
Video games can be bad, but generally I would say they aren’t.
Said by the guy not on self improvement
@@DailyImprovements83not everyone need to improve my guy, you will learn sooner or later
I'm not hell bent on restructuring my whole life to be the most productive person at everything I do, micromanaging everything to a T. I watch these videos and just pick up a few tricks here and there to cut back on those terrible habits that most of us have, like becoming too addicted to smartphones and social media, learning to regulate this stuff at work so you are more productive (but not to the point where your job consumes your life), and learning to have some silence in life to reflect on the mundane.
@@ambiarock590 yea that sounds like a really good strategy
Sometimes the best self-improvement is not thinking that you're higher than others just because you have a "better" mindset than them but being more tolerant with the way they live and how they are happy with it without you judging them. After all, it's SELF improvement. It's you who's going to be stricter to yourself and not imposing it to them.
Also, don't forget to still socialize with them and catch up with them even after all the hard work you did for yourself. Don't write them off just because they're not riding the same wavelength of mindset as yours. We are social beings, so it's something to keep in mind when you're on the road to your better self.
Work hard and rest hard folks
💪
It depends how much you go into that self improvement route.
If your friends are trying to drag you down and don't want to listen to you trying to save them then it's over (e.g. taking drugs).
But just because you are starting a business and your friends don't want to start a business that doesn't mean you need to cut them out of your life.
And to me it comes across as arrogant when you say that if your friends don't have the same goal and the same lifestyle that you have, they aren't your friends.
You can easily have friends with different goals or lifestyles. As long as you get along, have fun together and can trust each other, you are friends.
Edit:
I agree that you shouldn't try to shove your lifestyle onto your friends.
Waiting for them to come asking you for advice is a good way to go. But even if they won't, you don't need to cut them out :)
This is one of the most psychopathic videos on the internet, pretending like everyone around you is a lesser human because they don't want to workout or eat healthier foods and discarding them as "Not even your friends" is cruel. Acting like the people you meet at school aren't worth speaking to because they don't wake up at 5am may be one of the most brain rotted behaviors to ever surface out of self improvement culture. The thought that other people may be dealing with greater problems in their life than going to the gym every day doesn't even cross your mind and it's genuinely scary, seek help and stop treating people like garbage.
Fr this video was just a bad take
@@corurachi7054 it devolves into that
please do not let this ruin your image of self improvement. it was always meant to be a spirit of lifting eachother up, loving eachother unconditionally and always learning, never thinking yourself to be even above a fool.
take care brother, and yes, this video was a fairly shit take.
What? When did he say he was better than them? He just said that he distances himself from people who don’t care for themselves because he will get influenced by their actions
holyyyy chadlord 🦔❄
This video made me fully realize how many view self improvement as a cult. While it in its purest and most simple for is something very good, having it constantly surrounding you and becoming your entire personality like it has for OP is not. You cannot look down on the people around you for not being on self-improvement. You cannot distance yourself from people who are not on self-improvement. That is not sane behavior, and will in most cases in the long run actually become detrimental to your mental health.
I believe that the discourse around improving yourself through constant productivity (studying, working out, constantly learning new things) often goes too far. It is good to do these things, yes, but to a degree. Not regulating yourself means forgetting the why. You are doing this to feel more confident, fulfilled and happy. However, with the thought patterns that OP presents this idea of constant productivity loses all of this, because not once is someone allowed to stop. It is only in the stopping, in the "instant gratification" (stealing words from OP, I do not necessarily agree with this term) of getting new friends, playing videogames, or eating unhealthy foods, that you reap your benefits.
Think of it like this:
The journey of self-improvement is like tending a farm.
- First you need to lay your seeds. This is the beginning phase where you build all your habits.
- After that you need to maintain your farm; you need ro water your crops, make sure that they grow correctly. This is when all of the habits you have built have started to become a routine. Your goal is to maintain these habits by upholding said routines.
- Lastly there is the harvesting. Here you will have maintained your habits for long enough that substantial growth has become recognizable. Now is the time to fully utilize your new growth, and indulge in the things that make you happy. Since productivity has become a routine, you have reached the mental and physical state you had set for yourself in the beginning. However, if you do not reap what you have sown, those crops will get moldy, rot, and get eaten up by different pests. Reaping your benefits is strictly necessary for the process, and not doing so will only leave you worse off than if you never planted any seeds to begin with.
In this video, OP advocates for not reaping your crops. Distancing yourself from friends, never allowing yourself to play videogames, or anything similar that fits you, is something one should do while planting seeds. It should be done strictly temporarily. After that, you should allow yourself to take some time off, just like any farmer does.
Improving your life is great, just do not forget to also live it.
Exactly… at this point people who think like this are just being selfish.
Like you do not break friendship just because they don’t have the same “value” as you.
People have different ambitions and ideologies. You befriend other people because you actually have fun with them and have different perspectives and lives than you , which makes it more interesting.
It’s okay to encourage self-improvement to your friends,but if they don’t have interest in it, doesn’t mean you have to break your friendship with them 🤦🏻♂️.
I too am on my self-improvement journey, but I’m not trying to terminate my friendship with my current ones and trying to find new ones , just because they don’t self-improve.
Like, SELF-IMPROVEMENTS implies to your own self , not to others. Just because you’re improving yourself,doesn’t mean other should too 🤦🏻♂️ .
It shouldn’t be forced whatsoever!
I think the best way is not trying to preach or judge, but to invite. For example if i think my friend is unfit, i ask him if he wants to come with me to the gym. If i think my friend could need some change in perspective, i tell him about an interesting book i've read and ask if he wants to borrow it. Opinions can't be forced, but offers can be made.
The fact that others don't wake up at 4am to go to gym and eat some junk food anc play some games doesn't make them any worse than you. You might be better at this but they could be better at something else that you are not aware of. And it's their choices whether to start self improvement or not and they have their own reasons. We all don't have to be the same.
I am 20 myself, so I won't go in here saying I have all life figured out already, but I think this mentality is not good for yourself. Correct me if I am wrong, but if self improvement is a means to live a fulfilling life, why do you believe other people aren't living a life they consider fulfilling already and that is the reason they aren't really "self improving"? Having different goals or interests, even if they are considered worthless in this self-improvement sphere, does not make this people worthless or "distractions" they are not objects, they are people.
You don't "use" friends for convenience and dispose of them if they don't serve you anymore. Friends are for sharing happiness and for giving support when you need it. As long as these people aren't pressuring you into doing things like drugs or getting hammered late at night, I don't see how they are "distracting you". I think you, and other people in the self-improvement community, have set an extremely low bar for what is a "bad influence". People who constantly pressure you into doing stupid shit and use you, that is a bad influence. People who hold different values and have different goals and motivations, those are just regular friends my guy.
I respect that you are taking the steps to achieving your own goals, but you come off as preachy and somewhat arrogant. The whole "I have already put in 3 hours of work while most of these dudes have just started their day" is looking at it the wrong way. Self-improvement is PERSONAL first and foremost, people take steps to becoming the best version of themselves in different magnitudes. It is okay that you can do so much things at a time to better yourself, that is great! But you need to understand that there is also people who see their lives as good as they are or that see little wins in their day as the right steps to better themselves, there is no recipe that fits everybody for self improvement. There are things that can be useful to most people, but you shouldn't deem other people as less, "not driven" or "lazy" because they are not doing the same things you do.
There are people who live a life they do not like and aren't really doing anything about it, yes, but the change comes from them, if anything they need positive and NOT JUDGY influences in their lives that can help them, Not pressure them, but motivate them to better themselves. I have been working out for years, dress better than before and generally feel like I have been improving myself throughout the years, but I have never seen friendships with people who don't look into this things as "distractions", that is just a cope for not sticking to your goals and blaming people who just want to share their happy moments with you for your shortcomings.
bro is actually glazing himself so hard its crazy💀💀
the definition of self- improvement is unique to each indivdiual. you may see your friends playing video games and think they aren't trying to improve themselves, however if somone went from playing 6+ hours on the game and decided to cut back on video games and they now spend 4 hours on the game, is that not self-improvement? I dont think its fair, and its a bit arrogant to judge those people just becasue their goals for improvement do not align with or mirror yours.
Also you talk almost as if you expect people to alter their long term habits and behaviors instantaneously, just because you talked to them about self-improvement. Change happens over time and it could take people a matter of weeks or years. I'm not saying it is your responsiblity to help them start their journey, but even if it feels like they are not taking your advice or do not care now, they will remember your words. Trust that when they have worked on themselves they will come back to you and thank you.
That's why i think mindset improvement and learning are some essential parts of self improvement which a lot seem to ignore. Like Camus said "The only way to deal with an unfree world is too become so absolutely free that you're very existence is an act of rebellion" you don't have to get them into self improvement, you just have to become so real with yourself that they can't help but ask that what you do to become who you are
they don't have to be invested in self-improvement to be your friend.
Hi Ruff,
I have to disagree with some of your points. When I was in high school, I thought I was special because I was on a ‘self-improvement journey.’ It got to the point where I started looking down on my friends and I started acting like I know better than them.
I agree that we should keep a certain distance from people and even friends. But, not to the point where you act aloof and patronize them for not sharing the same goals as you. The only time I would agree in keeping a far distance from people is if they are cruel, self-serving, and narcissistic. In reality, you are going to meet people who are different from you. But as long as you share the same interests and some core values, you should not see the time you spend with them as a waste of time.
Self-Improvement is important. I started it back in high school to get rid off bad addictions and learn to overcome feelings of anxiety and pessimistic thoughts. Hard work is essential, but do not forget to live your life.
This is coming from a college student who is about to graduate in a year and do more years of schooling. As a person living in my 20s, it’s still a relative young age, but not as young when I was in high school. Learning and studying will always be part of my life, but now I’m prioritizing more time with family and making more genuine connections with friends.
I think the most important part of life is how you treat people with kindness. That’s what self-improvement is to me now. Many people do not need to know your personal accomplishments. Personally, I think it’s best to keep it to yourself. What matters is how you treat them with compassion and how you uplift them to be a good and just person.
I rarely comment on TH-cam videos. To Ruff and to the people who took the time to read this, I’m thankful and I wish you best of luck on whatever endeavors you are pursuing and I hope life is good for you all.
I remember Hamza talking about staring your own self improvement channel, and the fact that those creators are more relatable to the general mass, and to be very honest, this video and this channel has made me agree. I really liked the video and the style of production. You have inspired me to start a channel of my own as well, Keep up the good work brother
The problem with self improvement is that it comes off as bettering yourself, but in reality its very toxic. It forces you to become someone your not when in reality you dont need to "improve." You would be more happy in life coming to terms with who you really are than forcing yourself to be what society would deem as productive. Another thing is it will cause this type of ego. This "What did you do this morning," really makes you come off as insecure and will make you look like you're trying to come off as "better" than other people. In the end you're going to die the no matter how you live life so why not die a happy one rather than living a life of fabrication.
I 100% agree with what you said about his ego, but self improvement is good to some extent if it leads you to be healthier (more sleep etc) and significantly less stressed in your life (managing schoolwork better, not procrastinating etc). However it goes too far if you just deprive yourself of any activity you enjoy ofc
@@everIark Exactly what im trying to say. Theres nothing wrong with wanting to live a healthier life style especially if it will make you more happy. The problem lies with the idea that self improvement makes you a better person. There is no such thing as a better person and forcing yourself to fit society's standards will only ruin your own perspective of the world and will eventually make you lose grasp of who you really are. form who you are.
Man really said having friends is a disadvantage
Been watching your videos for a while now, this hits me a lot. I did shared about my self-improvement journey to my friends I met during my freshmen year in school but they're not convinced and rather stick to their own beliefs. A big mistake I learned from is that I should not shove the idea to them, so I never really share about it again and keep it to myself.
I did felt alone for a while and realised that I do not have many things in common with my classmates like what you mentioned in the video. I realised I have to make myself feel content even when I'm alone. I remember this saying from Marcus Aurelius; "Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself". I still do have friends to talk to and I do not dislike them so much for not doing self-improvement. I just tolerate them while I'm working on myself.
I just joined your discord server, I think it be nice having a chat with you. :)
"help isn't for people who need it, help is for people who WANT it" - i forgot who said this quote 😂
Bro. I don't know how old you are, but I was into self improvement™ when I was like 16-17, and now I can confidently say that it is really not that big of a part of your life. You come over as if you define yourself through self improvement; try not to do that! Not being able to connect with your classmates is, i believe, one of the consequences of doing that. That doesn't mean that they just don't have the right hobbies, that means that you have a problem connecting. When you talk about "saving them" or "preaching to them", doesn't it sound a bit like you're in too deep? That gives off cult vibes and I think you would agree that your first reaction to that should be skeptical. What I'm trying to say is: don't identify as the "self improvement guy". Go to the gym, eat healthy and so on, but you could still do all those things and enjoy soending time on video games or "useless", fun activities with friends. Believe me, it is way more important to get your social shit together and make some really good friends rather than going to the gym. Regardless, I wish you all the best! :)
A missing sense of community is a growing unrecognized issue. I don't have the right answers, i just have answers, and they might help. What i do think, is that it's hard to get influenced by other people when you're actively aware of this possible change going on. What seems more important to me, is that you can also influence your environment, you can get "on the same wavelength". You can be conscious about this, but you also have to be careful not to become self-important in this situation. You might want some change, but you cannot in any way force it on other people, which is the right conclusion you came to. I normally refer from calling this inspiring, because it's easy to get self important that way, but in essence that might be the best way to describe it.
Another point, life is never binary. You always have a third, fourth, fifth and a hundredth different option that you might not even recognize, because it's not intuitive for you. That's the main thing, silence your intuition sometimes, and open your eyes to things outside your box.
Friends are basic human needs, not a "source of pleasure". We're all human beings, this type of thinking leads to main character syndrome. No NPCs, you're not better than anyone else.
Some related advice, always try to argue for things, not against them. Argue for going outside, instead of arguing against video games, etc.
Love this well thought out response! If you don’t mind - could you summarise in simple terms what your conclusion or criticism is x
@@nkosi1388 if i had to be really simple, i'd say try to remove ego as much as you can out of the equation, and then people let down their guards much easier. In the end we want what's best for eachother.
your mostly right imo but the idea that "your not better then anyone else" is wrong. For example, just because this guy is against video games, that doesent make him better then his friends who play video games, after all you can have the best of both worlds.
BUT, humans do have value, were not all equal. Someone who is genetically blessed with looks, someone who is intelligent and outgoing and people who always try to reach the "peak" that their body and minds can offer them are 100% more valueable then someone who even if they have a good personality, if they have no looks, skills (yes, including video game skills), intelligence, athletic skills, etc .. then theirs nothing going for them to be as valueable as someone who has those traits.
Its not even about having money or cars, high social status or a very prestigious job like a doctor. None of those things can make someone inheritantly more valueable then a discord mod for example .. but those things are often the RESULT of someone who either has high human value traits .. or someone who just got lucky.
Afterall, if their were 2 trains and 1 train had 1000 stupid obese discord mods and the other train had people like albert einstin, tom hollond and 8 other people with exceptional traits .. well I think it would be obvious which train would be saved if the government had a choice to make where 1 train lives, the other dies.
EVEN in the general population, if you simply said "do you save a train with 10 people or a train with 1000 people" most people would pick the train with 1000 people. But once you bring up the traits of those 1000 people and 10 people, we inherently pick the side that has more value and more desirable traits that we ourselves would want.
@@Blaze-cp8vf value is in the eye of the beholder. Why would i go in search of an absolute truth when you can only get parts of a whole that way? And there's absolutely no point to this analogy, what if tomorrow you found out that 8 of those 10 people are serial killers, or relapsing drug addicts?
Also, i can easily become more "valuable" than any of those people in the eye of the public by dumb luck and chance, i could win the lottery tomorrow and donate it all to charity.
You're also equating traits to certain labels, but people are not just that. A discord mod is just a discord mod? I'll tell you right now, that stereotypical person does NOT exist. What if they're an organ donor? Would their worthless lives be valuable then?
I'm sure a family that had member saved by a random individual would choose that person over anyone with "high value".
I'd also take my mother over a random doctor i've never met.
What use is this way of thinking? You're not solving problems, or innovating anything with these ideals, nothing will change, the trolley problem doesn't exist in real life.
The world is a mysterious chain of laws and facts, that noone ever can get to the end of, everchanging and never understood, and if you're ever certain, you can be certain you're wrong.
@@kovacslorand9694 i get what your saying but your bringing exceptions upon exceptions when in reality, a "steortypical" person really do exist, I feel like thats just a fact .. sterotypes are put in place for generalization of the majorty.
For example, your Absolutely right about value being in the eye of the beholder. Id also take my mother or my dog over a random person I dont know because obviously I have emotional connection's with them.
But thats why once again I generalized value towards an outside perspective of people inside society. (Ex: in the trolly problem i gave, the mothers of those 1000 people would want them to live .. but what about everyone else who has no emotional connection?)
Also the thing about becoming "valuable" by dumb luck and chance regarding money is something I also mentioned that I think has no value. Theirs a difference between value and societal value. Randomly winning a million dollars does not make you anymore valuable then someone with 0 dollars, nor donating that money to charity either. None of those things improve you as a person, and like I said earlier.. sometimes people reach these feats by chance and not actual skills and traits.
Finnaly, something intresting id prob bring up about the thing about "valueable people" end up being serial killers and drug addicts and if that makes them lose their value is the case of Cameron herrin where many girls were begging and making edits over him despite his very serious crime just because of his desirable trait of being good looking.
Sometimes I forget you're just a kid. Thanks for reminding me of it.
when I first started self improvement I had a friend that would ask me questions like "how do i get more girls" and "how do i get more confidence" after being rejected by a girl i decided to introduce him to self improvement and he has definitely made a lot of progress
hey ruff, appreciate the videos and your hard work on yourself
just remember, you're not a constant self-improvement machine, enjoy yourself sometimes, it's the balance between bad and good that keeps us human
take care of yourself ❤❤
good message. After being on self-improvement for about a year now, I saw my old self in my current friends. Lazy, always playing video games, no hard work, constant sadness, and barely any hard work. I knew exactly what they need and i tried to help, but this video proved true and it didn't work out.
your only a year in people will come to you for guidance when they can see results, it takes time but people will look for your help when they actually perceive you as helpful, a lot of self-improvement people with little experience can have the right intentions with wanting to improve the lives of friends and family but go about it the wrong way and it can give off a superiority complex when you refer to them as lazy which won't end in them achieving any progress because they do not want to train with someone who clearly thinks they are superior.
“no hard work... and barely any hard work” which is it?
@@Prod7evenTimez hm i see that, but for me, id train someone whos superior than me because i want to be like them. Ive learned to be humble to take in information and not let my pride prevent me from leveling up. What you're saying is true though.
@@SavageJarJar lol i didnt see that, grammar mistake
Here’s what I learned talking to other people in a community of folks working on their self-improvement journeys: it looks different for everyone. I went as far as to delete social media and buy a dumb phone because I couldn’t keep myself off of it; others were able to monitor and limit themselves and used the Internet in a healthy way. Just because something works for you like an absolute miracle doesn’t mean it will for everyone, excited though you may be to share. Your excitement and your journey should be kept to yourself in my opinion BUT that only means no preaching to others, not cutting them out completely! Let others see the change happening in you and ask about it first. Give tips to people who are curious. But remain steady because you’re not the only person in the world and once you achieve all of your goals, you won’t have anybody else to celebrate with and that’s what really matters.
I'm not of the same opinion. I think is quite healthy sometime to hang out with someone that is different and with you can talk about something different from business or hitting the gym. I'm not saying that you should hang out with someone who jokes on you the entire time or makes fun of your improvement, I'm saying that sharing a happy moment on videogames or drinking something (not always obviously) is healthier than committing for every day of your year, you will eventually burn out at some point.
Cheers.
5 months in my journey, I've let go of tons of friends figuring out that they never cared about me, one even jokingly called me "high-testosterone" in an insulting way like I'm different from him. Some even called me boring and uninteresting because I don't play videogames or watch the same shows as them. I'm much more happier and more free without them, and ofc I still have a few friends that support me and bring me up
@@angelo08280 Great that you kept the real friends by your side
Same man I regret trying to convince my friends to improve themselves for preparation in the future, I wasted so much time creating routines, schedules and plans for them to follow but all my efforts were ignored. I was the leader of our circle so naturally I wanted to lead them in a decent path, I told them to study math and practice some basic communication skills but they didn't listen, I asked "why not? these advices are for you own good but you guys keep ignoring me.", they replied "No need, we prefer to learn in school and besides we know that already." Well thats it I stopped trying, scrapped all the plans I made for us and decided to just do it myself. I went on to improve my mental and social skills while doing some physical training. Few months go by and we enter college and enrolled for engineering courses, after a semester they decided to dropout because they can't handle calculus while some shifted to easier courses.
Our friendship was built on same hobbies and interest like playing games and watching anime but grew older and started to mature we started to lose interest and our connections started to crumble . Had I known from the very beginning that the end result will be like this I would have spent all that wasted efforts to myself.
Used be a pack leader in highschool, now lone wolf in college, atleast while I scout for potential companions that can accompany me towards my journey.
But yeah just like as in the video don't bother you cant change people who don't want to change and just focus on yourself. this was relatable so I decided to write this comment.
Really solid advice, had to learn this the hard way. Start with saving yourself first then branch out onto the world, let them come to you, then their ears will be open
I agree with you bro, showing them the results will truly make them wanna get on self improvement if they think straight, love your vids bro, you're gonna blow up!!!
Based on my experience, I would say that it's hard to bring people that has a fortunate life and comfortable with it, but most of my friends that is uncomfortable with their lives like being overweight, a broken home, financial issues, they straight up do self improvement in a heartbeat when I told them about it.
Makes so much sense. You can take a horse to the stream but you can't force the horse to drink from it.
So cool to see that u too think like this!
Because when i'm working on my self improvement and see that my friends don't even think about it i felt like "what should i do?" ".
i think self improvement is a really important thing that school doesn't even try to help us on the way to improvement and it just narrows our sights in school and studying and expects students to become the perfect future citizen of society!!
Ok, I think an important point that should ALWAYS be adressed when talking about self-improvement, is that there is no universal guide to "self-improve". Every person is different, and in order to improve yourself, you need to work on your own flaws. Self-improvement doesn't mean hitting the gym 5 times a week. Self-improvement also doesn't mean you should meditate every day, read 1000 different books and so on. This is something I have observed with a lot of self-stylized self-improvement gurus, that claim to live a perfectly balanced life. Self-improvement is about shaping your future to become who YOU want to be for yourself and for other people. Learn to accept that flaws are completely normal BUT something that can be worked on. Don't become an arrogant narcissist that views himself as superior, because you work out and others don't. Learn to communicate with people. Learn to respect people. Learn to enforce respect, if you feel like people disrespect you on a regular basis. Learn to not take yourself too serious, but to stand your ground when you feel like you have to. Essentially, take your values and carry them out into this world, If you are convinced that the values you stand for are GOOD. What I have listed above were my own values, that I partly didn't or couldn't live by for a very long time, because either I was holding myself back, or was held back by toxic people that I didn't have the courage to stand up against.
Also your friends are NOT instant gratification, that is a dangerous statement to make. Real friends are people that will be there for you if you need them. They like you for who you are and respect you for who you are unconditionally. Viewing them as nothing but pleasure givers (sounds sexual but I swear i didnt mean it like that) will inevitably make you lonely and you will isolate yourself, because of internalized narcissism.
Also just for clarification, working out is great! But If people decide they don't want to work out, it is not your job to convince them otherwise. You can lead by example and definitely inspire them to do something for their health, but it is ultimately not your choice to make. Some people simply have other interests and there is nothing wrong with that. So even if you work out and others don't, a real man won't judge others because of that.
Sorry english bad don't know if i could deliver my points correctly. But the end of the Video perfectly summarizes how to actually help people to self-improve. They need the motivation to start themselves, otherwise there is no incentive to continue in the first place.
100% His intentions may be great, probably. But the after thoughts and the expectations, of this mindset just is wrong. Seeing relationships short term and expecting people coming back or be inspired be us is not good.
Everyone has a different journey, and everyone inspires at their scale. Some may not have the healthiest lives for example, but negating them just for that is terrible💀It takes time to see how people inspire, but they do. Helping them achieving their dreams of any shape of form is completely valid also.
But our view is not others view.
1:09 I started feeling a little iffy from this point onwards. The way you described them as seemingly inferior or in a sense that you were doing something that was better than them, it’s not the best traits my friend. You can be on self improvement AND do all of those video games, junk food things. The key is moderation. Sure you don’t have to start preaching it around the block, but dismissing them from self improvement and viewing them as inferior to you is not it
This follows the assumption that YOU are the one to save them or that they need "saving" in the first place. I love self improvement but this toxic mindset and a jaded approach to friends is not how u build healthy relationships which is an important factor in a fulfilled life. He said to let people come to you which is so self centered and one sided. You can be interested in another friends journey too or even just WHO they are aside from productivity. If you let productivity control everything in your life down to people u should be comfortable around it COULD eventually just turn you anxious.
The friends you make along the way are the most important part of life
Maybe you should try to make friends not just for the sake of it but for actual human connection? It takes all kinds of people to make the world, and to know the world you need to know and have connections with all kinds of people. Try being friends genuinely and not to change them, you can be yourself and they can be themselves. Some people are only there for a short time but you can learn something from everyone :)
the basis of improvement is life above pleasure? so you're aiming some kind of emotionless being/robot pretending to be a part of society? why don't just live in the forest by yourself then? it's good that you are working on yourself, but it shouldn't be about being above someone in some sense, I think it's about being better than your past self. yes, other people make you feel nice, but is it bad that they eat junk food and you don't? just be a good person, that's all.
sorry for being salty, maybe it's becouse I would want to be better but it's difficult for me to even get out of bed most times. nice video man, cheers
4:42 _ABSOLUTELY HARAM!_
"Show them the reward of this lifestyle" 💯
Woah this hit really hard and i never thought about this, i'm actually grateful i saw this video in my recommendations i've tried to help my friends change their lives but it never worked out just as you described.
i will continue on the grind and show them all of my progress
The best way to help someone change isn't to 'change the person', but to change their environment
hello, I have seen your video, and actually self improving is good, but also be careful with your own mindset. I used to think like you and I always wanted to find my people who do the self improvement so I didn't consider my current circle real friends. I'm a morning person and I like to eat healthy and drink healthy. I don't like sleeping late. One day, I got easily stressed out and I become toxic person with full of negative emotions because of some big problems. But my current circles care about me and they talk about my flaws. And I just realize that I did the wrong way of self improving. I became a self centered.
Self improving is also about introspection to yourself . Although they didn't strictly have a good habit, they care for each other. And I got so many insight from them. I feel so bad that day and right now and right now I'm journaling and learn to reduce my self centered thinking. I regret this a lot, but I still have time to fix things so I don't focus on my regret.
And you can have a good habit and also having fun with your normal peers :D , but don't forget to choose wisely. A good friend will appreciate and accept each other.
Thanks for reading :)
dude i like ur mindset u so real for this
Ive always tried to get my friends into self improvement and most of them start but only one still do it lol. I believe in fate and i think its a privilege for me to come across self improvement content and actually be destined to do it. Keep grinding you are destined to be successful 🔥
it's sometimes not easy to understand who is good or who is not for us. time will show us that so even if someone is your BEST friend, don't tell them about such an important thing like your own improvement. someday they can use that to you.
Most people make self-improvement out to be far more difficult, hellish and draining than it actually is if you start slow and gradually add more changes to your lifestyle instead of trying to flip 180 degrees at once.
Essentially, speaking from experience recommending things to people; you'll have better odds of success occasionally dropping interesting tidbits you learned along the way when context aligns and being a happier, more productive person overall (which itself speaks volumes for the effectiveness of whatever the hell you're doing, people will ask your secret on their own) than coming across fanatical and overhyping self-improvement.
When asked "but X is hard for me, I always experience this negative thing when I do it" you'll realise they're probably doing it wrong and hurting themselves either by taking it too far too soon, exaggerating things/thinking irrationally (I feel like I'll tear my muscles if I do 2x15 reps of 2.5kg dumbbells 😢) or their form/nutrition is awful.
That's where you channel your inner gymbro/future dad energy and reassure them while helping them identify and resolve the root of the problem. Patience, love and support are not only effective in raising kids but also raising up the people you care for and want to succeed in life.
thanks king, you a real one, needed this.
This is exactly what I’ve been thinking lately just didn’t know how to express it. I’m into self improvement and I’ve been improving myself but my friends aren’t like that. They’re good people and ik that but they aren’t willing to improve themselves. The thing is (my opinion) I would like to make friends who are into the same things, so we could motivate each other and I wouldn’t be deemed weird talking about eating healthy, going to the gym etc etc… but it’s hard because 😭 no one is into that at all. Thx for sharing you’re thoughts thou :) really appreciate it
And it worse when your best friend is like that and you are trying to talk to them about that but they don't care at all , actually even my best friends right now ,like we just seeing each other so rarely and they kept saying they love you ,but man we need to encourage each other to be better not just saying it!
Getting friends on self improvement??? Bish I can't even get myself on it 😭
it sounds corny but as a group, as the family we’ve chosen, we’re always gonna look forward to seeing everybody improve, you always manage to find a way to make everybody learn from everybody
Where I live it's luckily a bit different. At my school it's more common for people to care about their future or generally improving themselves and working hard to achieve their goals and I'm really grateful for that.
Though I still agree on your point that friends/people will listen more to you once they notice your success and that's quite a rewarding experience.
I love your mind, you say what I feel in such an understandable and concise way it allows me to understand what i felt even more
This kid is setting himself up for failure. Yes, self improvement is good, but going this far to the point of being anti-social and even thinking of your friends as just an object of pleasure is obviously not good. The point of self improvement is to be healthy, that's all there is to it. Cutting off connections and not wanting to make more connections because you're becoming anti-social due to the "bad influence" from your classmates and even friends is far from the desired goal to be healthy. Humans are meant to be social and thus it is healthy to be social. And clearly because of that it is at this point not self improvement anymore, it's self destruction.
Wow, what you really said could’ve been me in a couple years…I’m currently 13 and I’m doing self improvement, I can see that what you said really comes from experience. I also tried to help others but the reality is that we can’t save them, they can only save themselves. In conclusion, the only person you can ever save and trust is yourself.
You dont need to save other people. No one is asking for your grace.
I fw you improving yourselves but do keep in mind that you aren't better than anyone else.
I've been on a self improvement journey for months now, and have been questioning if this is ever gonna be worth it, and i think this video finally helped that answer click. Thank you so so much!
I see where he's coming from about avoiding certain activities to stay focused on self-improvement. It's not about thinking we're better, but about making intentional choices that align with our goals and values. We're all on our own journey. Just like how some people dedicate time to hobbies or socializing, focusing on self-growth is a conscious decision that resonates with us. Each of us is on our own journey, navigating life's ups and downs, and it's incredibly empowering to see others who are determined to become the best versions of themselves. It's a path of self-discovery, and I believe we can all inspire each other, regardless of the specific choices we make. Remember, the right people who are meant for us will come into our lives at the right time. Prioritizing self-improvement sets a strong foundation for any relationship or endeavor that follows. When we invest in ourselves, we cultivate qualities that attract like-minded individuals who appreciate our growth-oriented mindset. So, embracing personal development isn't just about becoming better-it's about creating a life that attracts meaningful connections and experiences. After all, focusing on self-improvement is like building a solid base before constructing the rest of the structure. As Albaner Eugene wisely put it, it's not necessarily about cutting people off because you've outgrown them, but about inviting them on your journey of growth. However, it's important to recognize that not everyone is ready to hear the truth or embrace change. Some may misunderstand your choices and label you as 'arrogant' simply because you're making decisions that align with your evolving values. It's a challenge we may encounter, but staying true to our path and leading by example can ultimately inspire those around us to consider their own personal growth journey.
when I started hearing this thing of "escaping the Matrix" and getting on self-improvement, like, get in shape, be healthy, build a business and stuff, I ended up talking about it to my best/closest friend that I have, and he actually agreed to join me. I started to self-improve, and he did too. Now I learned that I should not tell my other friends, and I wouldn't tell them anyways, because I know they wont do anything.
this mindset is terrible, try to be open to people around you. they might have more to offer than it seems on the surface. remember you are the side character in their lives too, you're not that special or unique as you think.
I’ve been saying to myself ‘my words are obsolete to everybody’. This video helped me realize it’s not really the people who are wrong, but rather, it’s me who is trying to help.. but me trying to help is not helping, if they were interested, they’d ask for help.
man, that thing you said about friends at school
that was good.
i wish i'd have had that insight when i was in school bc i was the type who was friends with anyone and everyone i could be friends with, and now in my adult years i look back at school as the time when my social life was at a peak, and i'm still chasing that high.
I find this whole self-improvement ideology very strange. It reminds me of the story of the fisherman and the businessman.
The story goes that a fisherman was sitting under a tree on a sunny day catching some fish. A business man comes up to him and sees the bag of fish next to him and asks "How long did it take you to catch those fish?". The fisherman replies "Only a short while, this is all I need to eat for today". The businessman says "Then why not stay out longer and catch even more fish, and sell them so you can buy boats, nets and establish a fishing company to earn lots of money!". The fisherman replies "and after that?", to which the business man says "because with all that money you can retire, and then spend your days relaxing and doing what you enjoy." The fisherman, puzzled, replies "Isn't that what I am doing now?"
What's the point of isolating yourself from those around you, refraining from life's pleasures, all to maintain a sense of superiority? We have such few years on this Earth, and no one will remember us decades on. People have forgotten the importance of balance and moderation.
i agree until you said people wont remember us decades on, we still remember people from hundreds of years ago, if you build something big enough for your name to be remembered to be echoed across the entire earth, you will def be known for a very long time
@@Agileafafabut at the end of the day, is it worth it? Is it worth it for you to work through so much pain and lose so much happiness just for someone to remember you afterwards, after you pass?
Like you’re not gonna exist anymore, so what’s the point. Have fun now, and as long as you’re happy, that is self improvement.
@@Kewa_ i see where your coming from, everyone has different goals and ideologies, as long as you are happy and arent hurting anybody thats all that matters really
@@Kewa_”As long as you’re happy, that is self improvement.”
No. You cannot truly improve yourself without being humbled and asking God for help.
There's nothing wrong with self improvement absolutely. However, if your friends are not on the same track as you, it does not mean they are not good friends. They can be there for you when you having a hard time, be a source of comfort for you, even when you have different interests. And with different friends, you connect in different ways and get to talk bout different stuffs, basically you can have different reasons for being close to, or at least friends, with that person. People also have different ideas regarding improvement, and shoving it down their face will obvsly be kinda off putting.
Also, I'd like to point out that not everyone's life circumstances are the same either, situation at the home, maybe even school, health problems, mental problems a lot of this play a significant role in their life, "a mindset shift" even is quite difficult, and may take a long time. People may also not have the same values as you regarding this stuffs, and i honestly think that is okay. Humans are not all the same, and that's what makes life interesting.
I truly understand what this buddy is talking, i had every here and there fake friends who would never be for me in the times i need it the most meanwhile i bit my self up with responsibilities just for liking them, now i have the numbers of friend reduced and i talk with the people i truly see interesting or that brings me something worthy
I want friends who want to grow and help who’s around them grow. I’m tired of being the therapist friend for those who complain about their lives yet do nothing to improve. I made a vow with myself that I’d only be friends with those who share the same values or who’s friendship would be beneficial (for work, connections, school, etc). I’m 18 now and I’m lonelier than ever, but I’m happy. My life has improved so much after I cut everyone who doesn’t share this mindset. My mental health has improved, I got accepted into a top uni and I’m actually going to the gym now and bodybuilding like I’ve always dreamed. I have time to read books now that I don’t have to waste my time on hearing others complain about random stuff.
Why does self improvement feels like a cult now
With Peace and Love but Feeling above people in your class because u woke Up early and did a Workout is the funniest thing i heard a self improve TH-camr say lmaooo
Im into self improvment too, do my workouts, my meal prep etc. That dosent make me so different and imroved that i couldnt have fun with the "Chips eating, 20minutes late to class people"
I think Feeling Like your a above People and cutting them Out of your Life because they dont so the same,is a weird twisted Form of the whole Idea of self improvment.
And "say really what is it for? We had fun, we played Video Games, we laughed, we shared a meal every once in the while
But in Essence it was Just a source of pleasure and the Basis of improvment is that we should live above pleasure"
Living above pleasure means that you should avoid Things that dont add meaning and happiness to your life, Like scrolling through Tiktok all day doing nothing while eating fast food
Spending time and having fun with a friend brings happiness
Happiness and pleasure are Not the Same thing
Dont Stop having fun and making memories for a lifetime with Friends that make you laugh
Improving your Life dosent mean giving up Happiness, its meant to bring you happiness.
I have a male friend who is working on his self-improvement. At first, it was fun. He shared a lot of motivational stuff with me, which I really appreciated at the time. But then it has gradually become exhausting. He began judging my meal, which included a traditional cake I only ate once a year due to a big event of my culture, saying it was unhealthy and that I needed to work out because he saw a pic and said my wrist was too thin. Every time I texted him, it was always about him telling me to work out and stuff. There was one time that I could not take it anymore, so I said I felt okay with my body, that I did not like how he judged my overall health based on my wrist, and that I would prefer to talk about another subject, but then he told me that I was too weak and sensitive.
He said that he wanted me to work out to be healthy, but at the same time, he judged my healthy status based on my outer appearance. I began to feel bored with his pic showing off his muscles, and we began to talk less and less.
the best way to make friends interested in self improvement is to set an example
I'm glad the majority of this comment section had a similar interpretation regarding this video..
I really hope when you grow up, you lose this arrogant mindset of how everyone who doesn’t do the same as you is beneath you.
yep, he sounds extremely self righteous, would hate to be this guys "friend" if he constantly believed he was better than me for just living my life
he probably will, he's still pretty young rn and most teenagers go through this line of thought at least once, the difference is that he is posting it for thousands to see lol
This is so true 😊 it’s really hurt friend because everyone has different path of growth
This was great advice to me, i mean i was aware about this but couldn't apply it to reality, you really opened my eyes man, thanks for that, you earned a sub.
From my own experience. I have a very close friend I could call a brother. I never thought a day like this after years of friendship would come, but I'm starting to believe it was inevitable from the beginning. Trying to change people and fix others really drags yourself down, especially when you're not that stable of a person anyways. I learned to break free and live for my best self... Maybe nothing is meant to last forever, but everything is meant to have a meaning.
this guy is literally just sneako but not unhinged
😭 good old memories
This was a surprisingly powerful video that I definitely agree with, you seem like you're a pretty intelligent empathetic and rational individual, I'm surprised you don't have a ton of subscribers right now. I appreciate what you're doing right now and how what you say makes sense for real life and isn't a bunch of flowery fairy tale delusions like some other stuff I've seen. Excellent work, thank you very much!
Bro, I understand that you don’t want all that bad influence, but don't be putting people into boxes like that. Maybe they seem like they only care about stuff that seems insignificant to you, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t deserve any time or friendship from a "self improved" person. Good friends are the best part of school. I have almost 40 or 50 school friends who don't know me on a deep level, but they've helped me out a lot and made school an overall awesome experience. It feels amazing to walk down the hallway knowing that I got to know all these wildly different people and getting a nod or a high five or a flying kiss every once in a while. You can always get into a conversation about weird and wonderful stuff, ask someone what book they're reading, get caught doing weird shit in front of your teachers etc. And its not just shallow fun, I will genuinely miss them. If you try getting to know them without the judgement, maybe you’ll find out that people are better and cooler than they seem to be. Friendship with schoolmates does not have to be parasitic, it can be symbiotic as well.