The sad thing is that Max Payne had the potential to be an absolutely amazing movie. The majority of the awesome shit in the games comes from movies: the noir tone and narration, the intense John Woo style gunfights, the bullet time. But instead all we got was a boring drama with like, two or three action scenes that are too short to be cool, and don't get me started on the misuse of the bullet time and the miscasting.
I found a quote from the director about the characters and the story of the game. "They were all dead. The final gunshot was an exclamation mark to everything that had led to this point. I released my finger from the trigger. And then it was over."
This movie was a mess a little gore here and there wouldn't have saved this pile of shit, casting Marky Mark and Jackie Burkhart was bad enough on its own
Seriously I love the grey color, please don't change it. The white hurts my eyes, and grey matches the mood of Nostalgia Critic. Isn't it also mean to make him buy new white paint over and over again, just because? He's already done it, don't be mean and make him redo it.
You're probably thinking of his 'The King and I ' review. It's one of the first reviews he did after bringing back the NC. I think it's season 6. Good episode.
Can't that be said about pretty much every video game movie? They just can't seem to do it right. All the had to do was literally copy the story and noir feel and it would have been so much better. Why on Earth did they change the Valkyr drug from green to blue? I don't understand such a pointless change that even moreso distances the fans from what they want.
ThisAnimatedPhantom Yeah, he had me cracking up when he said some people take the color of their walls waaaaay too serious. Cuz everyone put in the comments that they didn't like the color of his wall so he changed it or would sometimes use a green screen instead.
As an Ohioan I can confirm the weather can change to whatever the fuck it wants within the span of a week. In fact I've seen it go from snow, sleet, rain, then refreeze within a single day more than once.
Now some of you might be thinking: "Where's Bill? Haven't seen him in a while.", but what you need to understand is that Bill is always there, in our hearts...
dafuq guy of course. What's next, are you going to say there was a time when Bill wasn't on the show? He's been there since day 1, he just takes breaks from time to time.
They should make another movie and give it that same dark atmosphere as the first game. Get unknown or not well known actors to give it an authentic feel.
Thats where you dont understand. Channel awesome is a movie critic, yet they cant successfully make a C movie anyone outside their fandom bubble could like. I was embarrassed by the last movie they tried to make
Max Payne with the directors of John Wick would be amazing and could probably do the games a lot of justice with a good actor (not that Mark isn’t good, just someone that looks more like him?) It should include voice narration that sounds accurate to Max’s voice and have the same great writing in it.
as long as hollywood doesn't acknowledge video-games as a legit form of entertainment we will always get mediocre videogame adaptations, seen the "detective pikachu" trailer? "based on the worldwide PHENOMENON" they don't even have the balls to say it was based on a video-game, as if being based on a video-game is something to be ashamed of, same thing happens with western movies based on anime, they always say "cultural phenomenon" instead of anime, how can you expect a good product if the people working on it are ashamed of it? And truth be told I'm honestly fine with this, right now video-games are in a possition that puts them on the same level as movies if not better, great scripts, awesome voice actors, motion capture, honestly most of the CGI looks way better in video-games than mutlimillion movies and music scores that can make jhon williams look like an amateur, I actually can't belive why people would be excited for videogame movie adaptations, they are huge downgrade IMO.
Part of the problem with that is Keanu spent years actually going through military training. So you also need someone who trains that hard for that long for just one movie. So at that point you might just end up with Keanu doing it.
@@JakNekon I saw the movie before I read the comics, they turned a story about supervillains taking over their world and turned it into just assassins who are the supposed hands of fate. That still pisses me off
@Will 2139 You do know that it wasn't problem of this adaptation, because it was exactly how it was in the game? The problem was that game was famous from clever use of Bullet Time and Matrix Effects in times when it was new, when in the movie there is almost nothing from that. Furthermore they make ridiculous ideology regard Valkyrie, when it was primarily just a hallucinogenic drug and Max for large part of the game is under its influence. Otherwise it was quite standard revenge story, but with amazing melancholic mood. As someone said John Wick is way better adaptation then this drag..
If she shot him without him getting the gun it would be murder but him going for the gun would be considered self defense, it was his own fault for going so slowly.....also why am I putting actual thought into the Max Payne movie?
icecream hero yes, people can play whatever role they want. He didn’t say she couldn’t. He said that she has to be cast as the right role to be good. No where did he say she couldn’t play whatever role she wanted.
I want to see Doug review "Who Killed Captain Alex." Everyone is having such a blast that it makes me happy every time I see it. He's gotta go in depth on the history of Wakaliwood, though, as it's really cool!
I'm always so focused on the critic that I don't even notice the background, if you painted it pink it would probably take 6 months before I even suspected something was different
Keep the wall grey, it looks nice, not that the color really matters as long as the videos are still good. Hell, it could even be rainbow and I wouldn't care....but don't do that.
Aw dude. Snow to rain to snow to rain to snow is just New England weather. I imagine you guys only see Connecticut at ConnectiCon, but come here for the fall and winter and that's not even over 4 days, that's 12 hours here.
Wait...Chris O Donnell (who played Dick Grayson AKA Robin) is playing a guy named Jason in this movie? Me thinks there is a Robin joke somewhere in there........
@@liampatrick3110 i think that’s an example of why he’d fit the role so well. especially with the artistic direction of max payne 3, with the flashy text and cool camerawork.
13:30 "How can you trust a person who can't even apply his own scar makeup convincingly?" Um... Doug, that's Jamie Hector. Dude played a villain on HBO's The Wire. And that is his actual scar. That's not makeup.
You missed a thing to pick on the movie. They actually had James Mccaffrey actor who voiced Max Payne andgave his appearence for him in Max Payne 3 in one short Scene of Agent Jack Taliente aaand they just got Marky Mark to play Max instead.....its dumb af
I don't care about the wall color (was around all the way back when lots of people cared the first time, and I didn't care then, either), but since I've been given a choice . . . stick with grey? Always good to mix things up for the new year . . . in the most unimportant ways possible. *slow clap * Great review, though! That I did care about and enjoyed. Sloth bit was hilarious!
Nice transition like the game at 16:40 Brought back memories of playing the game. And I thought my browser screwed up again till i realized what it was. Lol
@@blondbraid7986 That's the idea. By "1 coloured wall", I mean only 1 wall in the room that is coloured. In the UK, we call it a "feature wall", but I didn't know if America knew what that was. So I'm gonna fill balloons with different colour and throw them at 1 wall in my bedroom when I get my own place.
@@christopherlowery3797 Maybe Wahlberg leaves so little of an impression of his own, that it's so easy to put just about anyone that looks remotely like him in his place
Mel Gibson would have been a perfect Max Payne (see "Payback"). The movie unfortunately focused on the wrong aspects of the Payne story plus it was miscast in all departments. "Max Payne" is a perfect example how casting can kill a movie.
My screenwriting II professor actually worked on the set of this film, he said it was a constant mess and that the script was constantly being rewritten throughout filming.
jimboa20 that's a pretty good idea. There are so many titles he can go after: assassins creed, resident Evil series, mk annihilation, street fighter, hitman, doom(already done), silent hill, tekken, super Mario Bros(done I think), dead or alive, tomb raider, low hanging fruit uwe boll movies, angry birds... There's so many
@@PastelGremlin00 His name is Duncan Jones, and yes, I did know that. I actually liked Warcraft, but that's mostly because I'm incredibly knowledgeable of the source material. If I didn't know anything about the Warcraft universe, ten minutes into the movie I would be hopelessly lost and confused. They should have made it a series. Warcraft wasn't anywhere near as bad as critics made it out to be, but it also wasn't anywhere near as good as it should have been.
I would love to see a movie based on that ad starring Mark Wahlberg and Gumball Watterson where they all have to work together due some yet to be explained circumstances!
Seriously, where are the colorful, incredibly-stereotyped mobsters or the horrifying nightmare sequences? Where is Max's undercover work for the mob? Where's the evil pharmaceutical company with the PMCs? Where is the action, period?
As a movie, Max Payne was worse than Doom! Seriously, compare the games to one another. Doom didn't have much to work with as source material goes and had to make up some crap to fill the movie. Max Payne the Game was pretty much already Max Payne the Movie. How this could have been executed so poorly is a true phenomenon of epic shit.
Me and my sister were like obsessed with the two first Max Payne games and re-played them so many times, always having fun. The movie though.... I think the most intense thing about it was me struggling not to fall asleep. (I lost that battle.)
Well, I guess NC knows how to kick off 2019 in style. After all, what better film to review than yet another terrible video game adaptation directed by the destroyer of the Die Hard franchise?
I'd say that when it comes to reviewing those, the Blockbuster Buster did those movies justice. Though if the Critic wants to take a shot at them it would be cool to see.
Here in Cincinnati Ohio, we go from rain to snow to rain to ice to sleet to more rain to more snow then melted snow in one week of winter. That's why we have a saying, "If you don't like the weather in Cincinnati, just wait five minutes."
I really wonder if Critic realized ''Mute Baldy'', to call that character, was supposed to be Jack Lupino. You know, that mobster who got addicted to Valkyr so badly his mental stability dropped to the point where he became a worshipper of devils from different mythologies and saw himself as Fenrir, and was actually one of the best parts of the game. But who am I kidding? This movie is so awful we needed to search the wiki to realize that guy was Lupino.
New year. New season. New studio. NEW WALL COLOR?!?!??!?
Vote in the comments what wall color we should have, White or the current wall color Grey.
Do white
Puce
White
Channel Awesome oh review Dennis the menace
It should be red!
The race between Wahlberg falling backwards and the Sloth was absolutely hilarious! Good stuff, haha :)
Love your work Suspect. Hopefully one day we could see a collaboration between you and the critic. That would be my dream team-up.
Definitely!
The Unusual Suspect great work on the spyro review!
Oh my goodness, hello suspect! :D
What? No!
The sad thing is that Max Payne had the potential to be an absolutely amazing movie. The majority of the awesome shit in the games comes from movies: the noir tone and narration, the intense John Woo style gunfights, the bullet time. But instead all we got was a boring drama with like, two or three action scenes that are too short to be cool, and don't get me started on the misuse of the bullet time and the miscasting.
I found a quote from the director about the characters and the story of the game. "They were all dead. The final gunshot was an exclamation mark to everything that had led to this point. I released my finger from the trigger. And then it was over."
The dreadful miscasting of Payne. Mark Wahlberg is NOT Max Payne. He just isn't.
John Wich and Hardcore Henry is what I expected a Max Payne movie to be
Think up some good casting for max payne.
James McAffrey did a stunning performance in the third game and I wish he wasn't just a cameo in the movie atleast :((
John Wick is closer to the Max Payne games than this movie.
Tru
You guys need to see Hard Boiled
@Jackie Nova thank you. i always thought that sin city was the max payne movie we got^^ it is a shame that the mp movie was bad
@@Devilsblood Best shootout i have ever seen.
actually watch "Payback" with Mel Gibson, this movie is the closest with noir mood and narration, give it a try
The movie fails because it's PG-13. The game is rated Mature. How the heck can you do the film justice? Stupid hollywood producers.
I felt the same way towards Mortal Kombat: Annihilation and Assassin's Creed.
"Heck."
There's an unrated version.
Fuck you super hero movies. Idiots pulled a mortal combat.
This movie was a mess a little gore here and there wouldn't have saved this pile of shit, casting Marky Mark and Jackie Burkhart was bad enough on its own
Don't you geniuses ever change.
If that was a question, it'd be a very confusing one
Seriously I love the grey color, please don't change it. The white hurts my eyes, and grey matches the mood of Nostalgia Critic. Isn't it also mean to make him buy new white paint over and over again, just because? He's already done it, don't be mean and make him redo it.
Has he actually painted did rooms because people complained?
Nah, grey is boring. Have you seen the home rennovation shows? Every one of them uses grey!
@David Smith Eh, I guess he doesn't have to change it. But there is no harm in being a little creative.
You're probably thinking of his 'The King and I ' review. It's one of the first reviews he did after bringing back the NC. I think it's season 6. Good episode.
David Smith I mean grey isn’t really creative it’s just a boring color but I mean who cares? It’s just a wall we just have to get used it
She slapped him so hard, it made my video turn into an ad!
Same
Ditto
Ah! Who are you people and how did you get here?!
Yep me too.
Yep me too
"Max Payne The Game is a better movie than Max Payne The Movie."
What part, el matador was not bad game, IMHO
This isn't Max Payne, it's a little bit uncomfortable.
You are goddamn wright!
Can't that be said about pretty much every video game movie? They just can't seem to do it right. All the had to do was literally copy the story and noir feel and it would have been so much better. Why on Earth did they change the Valkyr drug from green to blue? I don't understand such a pointless change that even moreso distances the fans from what they want.
Crossed fan spoted!
"Uh... Ya think that's such a good idea? People weirdly take their wall color very seriously."
~snerk~
“I was going to change the world with that wall!” -Nostalgia Critic 2019.
ThisAnimatedPhantom Yeah, he had me cracking up when he said some people take the color of their walls waaaaay too serious. Cuz everyone put in the comments that they didn't like the color of his wall so he changed it or would sometimes use a green screen instead.
Ahh the critic the weirdest area of the universe
Huh, never thought I'd see you here. Small world.
@@Angel_Billy4-30-23 not the only wall of his people dislike nowadays
@@Angel_Billy4-30-23 You'd be surprised at how much time and energy creative types will put into the decor.
"In one week it went from Snow to Rain FOUR TIMES?!"
Yeah Doug, it's a meteorological phenomenon called "Calgary".
I can confirm.
I've never agreed with someone so much. I have way too much proof of this, being a Calgary native
It's also called "Living in Kansas". The weather can go from snow, to rain, back to snow then be warm, all in the same week.
As an Ohioan I can confirm the weather can change to whatever the fuck it wants within the span of a week. In fact I've seen it go from snow, sleet, rain, then refreeze within a single day more than once.
Doesn't he live in Chicago? I figured surely they'd have this sort of thing happen every now and then?
The loading screens killed me 😆
Review of 2004 a series of unfortunate events
Agree??
Me toooooo XD
The second loading screen had me like OH COME ON!! 😂
@@ChrisNeufeldMusic I love how as it started it sets up for an ad
Now some of you might be thinking: "Where's Bill? Haven't seen him in a while.", but what you need to understand is that Bill is always there, in our hearts...
Mhm 😎
dafuq guy of course. What's next, are you going to say there was a time when Bill wasn't on the show? He's been there since day 1, he just takes breaks from time to time.
I really like The Nostalgia Critic loading screen.
When was that
The first Nostalgia Critic video of 2019!
And what a way to do it. With a less than stellar videogame movie.
Wait it's 2019???!!!!!!?!
@@wilkinscoffee7166 lol yes
Yep! And I loved the comedic timing in the skits! A great start to 2019! Maybe the only good thing about this year yet lol.
MegaSoulHero the worst
I must reference futurama now:
"We kept it grey"That is all.
Here's my Futurama quote on the matter:
I have no strong feelings one way or another.
All I know is my gut says "maybe".
If I don't survive, tell my wife 'Hello'.
Fiaura The Tank Girl Who cares about the wall, what about Malcom?!? Will he be saved?!?
@@shadowmariogalaxy64 bite my shiny metal ass
They should make another movie and give it that same dark atmosphere as the first game. Get unknown or not well known actors to give it an authentic feel.
Thats where you dont understand. Channel awesome is a movie critic, yet they cant successfully make a C movie anyone outside their fandom bubble could like. I was embarrassed by the last movie they tried to make
@@andrewisjesus They didn't suggest Channel Awesome does it.
@@andrewisjesus learn how to read dude.
@@andrewisjesus LOL "That's where *you* don't understand." ;)
And avoid desaturation and black and white, basically any crappy stylization. Just let it be a action filled story with a tortured hero.
"They cut off a couple of my toes and sent them to those I love most, so I figured you guys wouldn't be in the mix. "
I hope you guys stayed for the Malcom audio at the end 😂😂😂😂😂
Honestly, that was my favourite part of the Review was just Malcom rambling
I thought it was funny
Didn't even show up, but stole the show.
I was more amused by the Nostalgia Dad cameo at 27:06
Max Payne with the directors of John Wick would be amazing and could probably do the games a lot of justice with a good actor (not that Mark isn’t good, just someone that looks more like him?) It should include voice narration that sounds accurate to Max’s voice and have the same great writing in it.
I very much agree
That sounds awesome. David Leitch proved his worth with Atomic Blonde and Deadpool 2, so I'd love to see him do a Max Payne movie.
as long as hollywood doesn't acknowledge video-games as a legit form of entertainment we will always get mediocre videogame adaptations, seen the "detective pikachu" trailer? "based on the worldwide PHENOMENON" they don't even have the balls to say it was based on a video-game, as if being based on a video-game is something to be ashamed of, same thing happens with western movies based on anime, they always say "cultural phenomenon" instead of anime, how can you expect a good product if the people working on it are ashamed of it?
And truth be told I'm honestly fine with this, right now video-games are in a possition that puts them on the same level as movies if not better, great scripts, awesome voice actors, motion capture, honestly most of the CGI looks way better in video-games than mutlimillion movies and music scores that can make jhon williams look like an amateur, I actually can't belive why people would be excited for videogame movie adaptations, they are huge downgrade IMO.
Give us Michael Madsen
Part of the problem with that is Keanu spent years actually going through military training. So you also need someone who trains that hard for that long for just one movie. So at that point you might just end up with Keanu doing it.
Shoot Em Up was a much better Max Payne movie than actual Max Payne.
Even Wanted was better than Max Payne, particularly when it comes to the bullet time.
@@veronicasilk8429 I hated Wanted and it's "bullet curve" thing, and I still have to agree with you...
@@JakNekon I saw the movie before I read the comics, they turned a story about supervillains taking over their world and turned it into just assassins who are the supposed hands of fate. That still pisses me off
@@veronicasilk8429 wanted is a goofy but awesome action movie
John Wick was a better Max Payne movie than Max Payne.
16:38 Just the fact the loading bar held on that last 1% made it all the more hilarious
As it does in game.
Doesn’t seem to be an issue when I play it on the Series X (Thanks to SSD)
The funny thing is too, is that the console versions have sub chapters so pretty much that cut off makes a whole lot of sense
Grey wall. It's easier on the eyes and brings more color to you. Grey is classy. Grey is sexy.
Slow down there, Anastasia
Much like Grey Delilse
+Jenivere Valearen
Grey is a perfectly agreeable compromise. Grey is a good fusion of two opposite colors.
@@Sonichero151
I'm personally more of a Tara Strong fan, myself. Even she is going somewhat crazy.
Did......Tamara just shotgun pump a rifle?
She's been taking lessons from Shadow the Hedgehog.
Twice!
lobelix11397 you mean shadow the edgehog?
The 3 Fr33m4nn you mean shadow the edgehog
@@seyyeddibaj9735 question
That 90s anti-drug commercial was the most accurate shit I ever dun saw.
"But it was just snowing! But it was just raining!"
Clearly; Critic has never been to Texas...
Or Wisconsin.
Excuse me, only midwestern states such as Michigan allowed to claim they have random weather, thank you very much SIR. 🧐
@@Fluffkitscripts Exactly. In Ohio, we literally had a day of snow in the middle of may, and 2 days later a high of 90 degrees Farenheight
or MA’AM.
Or Colorado
I’m starting to think the DC movies are looking at this movie and thinking, “Y’know what? We’re doing good.”
Also, keep the wall grey!
@Will 2139
You do know that it wasn't problem of this adaptation, because it was exactly how it was in the game? The problem was that game was famous from clever use of Bullet Time and Matrix Effects in times when it was new, when in the movie there is almost nothing from that. Furthermore they make ridiculous ideology regard Valkyrie, when it was primarily just a hallucinogenic drug and Max for large part of the game is under its influence. Otherwise it was quite standard revenge story, but with amazing melancholic mood. As someone said John Wick is way better adaptation then this drag..
The end credits has more gunplay than the entire goddamn movie itself.
It's sad when the best part of the movie is the credits.
24:47 was he dumb enough to move slowly, or was Mila Kunis' character dumb enough to let him take out a gun?
Yes.
yes
If she shot him without him getting the gun it would be murder but him going for the gun would be considered self defense, it was his own fault for going so slowly.....also why am I putting actual thought into the Max Payne movie?
Why did critic put her in a box people can play what ever role they want.
icecream hero yes, people can play whatever role they want. He didn’t say she couldn’t. He said that she has to be cast as the right role to be good. No where did he say she couldn’t play whatever role she wanted.
I want to see Doug review "Who Killed Captain Alex." Everyone is having such a blast that it makes me happy every time I see it.
He's gotta go in depth on the history of Wakaliwood, though, as it's really cool!
Grey is good
Nah, light brown for life.
Grey is live
I'm always so focused on the critic that I don't even notice the background, if you painted it pink it would probably take 6 months before I even suspected something was different
I was more invested in the Where’s Malcolm story in this review rather than the actual plotline of the film they were reviewing 😂
Why the fuck is that emoji there.
I had a similar experience when NC did Freddy Got Fingered, despite loving the actual review
06:12 “If I’m more interested in him talking to Gumball about cable service, we have a problem”. XD
I'd actually love to see Gumball appear in the Max Payne world
I actually WAS interested in Mark Walberg talking to Gumball and I haven't even seen the cartoon
Keep the wall grey, it looks nice, not that the color really matters as long as the videos are still good. Hell, it could even be rainbow and I wouldn't care....but don't do that.
MAKE. IT. RAINBOW.
Hm. For some reason I thought this was directed by Uwe Boll.
It's a bad video game movie from the 2000s, honest mistake.
Nah, budget's too high.
If it WAS directed by Uwe Boll, it would've been MUCH better... As in 'So bad it's good' levels better...
Those damn Loading screens! They were so annoying in the games, and they still are today lol! XD
Donald Arteaga Yeah, I feel like if this movie REALLY wanted to emulate the feel of the game, it should’ve had more loading screens.
You didn't like the Max Payne loading screens?
...
BURN, INFIDEL!
Donald Arteaga
Me:sonic 06 flashbacks!!!
Aw dude. Snow to rain to snow to rain to snow is just New England weather. I imagine you guys only see Connecticut at ConnectiCon, but come here for the fall and winter and that's not even over 4 days, that's 12 hours here.
Ian Butterfield that's also Indiana weather
Ian Butterfield yeah but it takes place in NY not New England
Eh, close enough.
There’s a saying about the weather in Florida: “If you don’t like it, wait 5 minutes.”
Space Case I’ve also heard that up here in the Pacific Northwest
4:10 - *"He said no. It was sad you want a coffee were out."*
12:59 - *"He miss. It was sad you want a beagle were out of those too."*
Colonel Frontline
I think you need to hire a proofreader.
Or disable autocorrect.
Wait...Chris O Donnell (who played Dick Grayson AKA Robin) is playing a guy named Jason in this movie?
Me thinks there is a Robin joke somewhere in there........
Or the press X to Jason portion of Heavy Rain
As if this movie is smart enough for that
C'mon dude don't be a dick...
@@Nikk-Astyr AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
@@dogethestick6814 sry i just had to XD
That's a duck.
That's a DUCK, man!
Yes.
Yes, it IS a duckman.
*Jason Alexander intensifies*
*quack*
Dat's a duck!
Dat's a tie!
Dat's a desk!
Dat's a dupid, dupid movie!
Duck is lord
If Nostalgia Critic’s head has a landline, does that mean he can escape the Matrix whenever he wants?
I guess so
I think Edgar Wright would be a good director for a Max Payne film. With his style, I think he could pull of the comic book aesthetic.
Scott Pilgrim VS The World: Am I a joke to you?
@@liampatrick3110 i think that’s an example of why he’d fit the role so well. especially with the artistic direction of max payne 3, with the flashy text and cool camerawork.
Not at all…
So the first 3/4 was nothing then the last 1/4 turned into Constantine I think this movie is confused
Shadows in forms of winged demons? This film's supposed to be about Max Payne, not Devil May Cry.
WOW!!! That IS a big studio! I'd lose my way in that place.
13:30 "How can you trust a person who can't even apply his own scar makeup convincingly?"
Um... Doug, that's Jamie Hector. Dude played a villain on HBO's The Wire. And that is his actual scar. That's not makeup.
It is an akward looking scar though
You missed a thing to pick on the movie. They actually had James Mccaffrey actor who voiced Max Payne andgave his appearence for him in Max Payne 3 in one short Scene of Agent Jack Taliente aaand they just got Marky Mark to play Max instead.....its dumb af
If you want a Max Payne movie I'd Recommend "Face the Payne"
Here have a link: th-cam.com/video/25yRr-e6ciI/w-d-xo.html
What a way to start NC 2019! I hope this will be the best year yet.
New location, NEW EVERYTHING!!
I don't care about the wall color (was around all the way back when lots of people cared the first time, and I didn't care then, either), but since I've been given a choice . . . stick with grey? Always good to mix things up for the new year . . . in the most unimportant ways possible. *slow clap * Great review, though! That I did care about and enjoyed. Sloth bit was hilarious!
"Is that Chris O'Donnell?"
Chris O'Donnell: "No! N-no I-"
I don’t think I’ve ever clicked on a video so fast
I'm gonna say faster than this movie's bullet time! XD
the Flash cant tap as fast as I can
Its annoying seeing this same comment over and over on so many videos.
Same
I really liked the part with Gumball in it. :)
You're a good egg Gumballfan 123.
You got that right, kid show thing
I would say something snappy... But im tired
Nice transition like the game at 16:40 Brought back memories of playing the game. And I thought my browser screwed up again till i realized what it was. Lol
Easily the best integration of a Simpsons joke I’ve ever seen. Touché.
>In one week it went from rain to snow four times
Clearly Critic has never lived in St. Louis
Or Indianapolis.
Or Texas.
Or Michigan
or oregon
Or North Carolina
I was 12 when I first saw this movie...
It was the most disappointing thing I've ever seen in my life.
Cute profile pic. What is it?
i'm sure you had worse disappointments after that
Then or until now?
what about doom?
Until the Resident Evil movies, right?
I honestly believe that y’all should go crazy and have multicolored walls. Have each wall be a different color.
Or only have 1 coloured wall, but colour it by throwing paint-filled water balloons at it.
That's my plan for my place.
@@DepressyDuck Or better yet, go full Jackson Pollock.
@@blondbraid7986
That's the idea.
By "1 coloured wall", I mean only 1 wall in the room that is coloured.
In the UK, we call it a "feature wall", but I didn't know if America knew what that was.
So I'm gonna fill balloons with different colour and throw them at 1 wall in my bedroom when I get my own place.
@@DepressyDuck Yeah, I've seen it before but I didn't know there was a specific term for one colored wall.
I actually thought Mark Wahlberg was Mat Damon all the way until he said it was him! 😂
....How? 😅
@@christopherlowery3797 Maybe Wahlberg leaves so little of an impression of his own, that it's so easy to put just about anyone that looks remotely like him in his place
Grey is timeless and not as boring as white or the Max Payne movie. Thanks for this review. Go for grey!
TheDragon1986 no paint it green screen of nic cage gif!
@@wyattbooth9918 the grey... OFF! ;)
You should keep the wall grey
13:29 ... That's not makeup. That's the actor's real scar. He's from The Wire.
Jamie Hector :)
HOLY S-
Guess what he got stuck on. The wire. Naaaah just kidding.
Yea, and currently on Bosch on Amazon Prime
That meant he's dumb enough to think it's fake.
Mel Gibson would have been a perfect Max Payne (see "Payback").
The movie unfortunately focused on the wrong aspects of the Payne story plus it was miscast in all departments. "Max Payne" is a perfect example how casting can kill a movie.
I like the grey, go grey.
So, any chance of that Major Payne review?
Review A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004)
Edit: He finally did it
Yeah yeah a series of unfortunate events please Doug!!!!
Up
Up you go!
Review that stinker of a last episode from the new season
Baikal920 I know in the books that was the longest but it only has 1 part
the wall should be fifty shades of grey
Literally
Boooo! BOOoooo!
Their guns aren't set to "hit behind him", it's just that special bullet attracting glass they use in movie office buildings
And so 2019 NC begins! This film caused so much “Payne”!
Nice shitty joke
BOO BOO BOO!!
(Christopher Walken Voice)
@@devinjohnson9133 patrick: SO MUCH PAYNE!!!...so much payne
Max from Goofy Movie has joined the chat
Stick with grey
Oh Critic, you think changing from rain to snow and back again twice is weird...you must have never been to New England
Persoon56 Or Maryland where it’ll snow one day and be in the 60s the next day
Jeez. I thought Northern Indiana was nuts with the ability to get all four seasons in a week.
He's actually lived in Rhode Island for a few years when he was younger
@@shyguyry2033 I guess he must have forgotten the weather there then. Either that or Rhode Island is much better off than New Hampshire
Green, so you can do greenscreen stuff...
Also, you can switch
the colours on the walls on the fly...
*Thumbs up this if you think*
*the same as me!*
Omfg the loading screens. Yes!! I'm cheesing like an idiot!
Great review. I say the wall for once should be grey for a change.
Grey is the most overused color. Be more creative.
I just gave the 100. like to your comment.
Greyish blue is better.
Grey!!!!!!!!!!
I would love the wall color to be a PALE BLUE, but between the two options I would pick GREY.
Daniel Jones no paint it green screen of nic cage!
My screenwriting II professor actually worked on the set of this film, he said it was a constant mess and that the script was constantly being rewritten throughout filming.
Guys, don't worry about Malcolm. The guy can live without his nostrils, he wasn't even using them that much! It's fiiiiiine
yeah. I'd definitely be more concerned over the adding of a third testicle just so they could take out more than two. . .
wally man is incorrect, no testicle is better than two testicles. I learned that the hard way
Eh, him and the others have died in so many ways, he knows he fine. Why hes so casual
Just keep the gray color.
I love getting commercial breaks right as someone is getting slapped.
😂 I honestly forget that there's ads on TH-cam lol
*Loud ass slap*
**HERE AT ALDI’S-**
Thank god for AdBlock
*Alex's widow slaps Max*
Ad: You could use some Switchmas spirit!
Another great moment for an ad every time I've watched this review
Doug, you should do Warcraft next. Make it a videogame adaptation month or something.
jimboa20 that's a pretty good idea.
There are so many titles he can go after: assassins creed, resident Evil series, mk annihilation, street fighter, hitman, doom(already done), silent hill, tekken, super Mario Bros(done I think), dead or alive, tomb raider, low hanging fruit uwe boll movies, angry birds...
There's so many
I only hope he has balls to review Postal.
He did Street Fighter.
Y'all know David Bowie's son directed Warcraft? Just a fun little tid-bit xP
@@PastelGremlin00 His name is Duncan Jones, and yes, I did know that. I actually liked Warcraft, but that's mostly because I'm incredibly knowledgeable of the source material. If I didn't know anything about the Warcraft universe, ten minutes into the movie I would be hopelessly lost and confused. They should have made it a series. Warcraft wasn't anywhere near as bad as critics made it out to be, but it also wasn't anywhere near as good as it should have been.
In an alternate universe Harvey bullocks helps max Payne instead of Jim Gordon (like if u get the reference)
Have fun tonight
@@bogdannicolas6359 I appreciate it
Mark Wahlberg and Gumball Watterson for Roger Rabbit remake? Lolololol
Make it happen or else!
I would watch that lol
I freakin want that so badly
Oh shit you're onto something, here!
I would love to see a movie based on that ad starring Mark Wahlberg and Gumball Watterson where they all have to work together due some yet to be explained circumstances!
23:58 The Tom scream has be my favorite. 🤣
I love it every time it pops up in a review. Especially in the Alita Battle Angel when he didn't didn't even need to comment it in
I really want the Nostalgia Critic to review Fred: The Movie BADLY this year.
Same
Along with a First Viewing
He should do the sequels for sequel month.
Oh fuck... that's asking too much lol
@@3ShotTGK You have a point.
Why is it snowing in here
We're inside a building
Where ever I go
The snow follows
And the snow smells like the wind
And the wind smells like rain
So by that logic, if A=B and B=C, then the snow smells like rain.
This is the most boring episode of CSI disguised as a Max Payne movie.
Seriously, where are the colorful, incredibly-stereotyped mobsters or the horrifying nightmare sequences? Where is Max's undercover work for the mob? Where's the evil pharmaceutical company with the PMCs? Where is the action, period?
Anyone else want to see Doug review a series of unfortunate events (2004) ?
As a movie, Max Payne was worse than Doom! Seriously, compare the games to one another. Doom didn't have much to work with as source material goes and had to make up some crap to fill the movie. Max Payne the Game was pretty much already Max Payne the Movie. How this could have been executed so poorly is a true phenomenon of epic shit.
Whalberg gets slapped and I get an ad... COINCIDENCE???? I THINK THE FRICK NOT!!
“The frick”
This movie took the phrase "The flesh of fallen Angels" way too seriously
Clearly, the people behinds this misunderstand what that actually means...
@@yoshikotsushima3398 exactly lol
Leave it to a true fallen angel to point that out.
13:30
I think that's the actor's real-life scar. He had it in The Wire too.
It is his actual scar.
No wall color can ever replace the original wall (Angelic memory music plays)
Me and my sister were like obsessed with the two first Max Payne games and re-played them so many times, always having fun. The movie though.... I think the most intense thing about it was me struggling not to fall asleep. (I lost that battle.)
Well, I guess NC knows how to kick off 2019 in style. After all, what better film to review than yet another terrible video game adaptation directed by the destroyer of the Die Hard franchise?
Nah, Malcolm's gonna be fine
Just like Ned when Manbearpig kidnapped him
He can totally survive without his body parts
I’ll get the vinegar (to all 2 people that get that)
@@djoshawott2850 Well, you have 2 likes, so what you say checks out. ...Allow me to ruin it for you.
I absolutely lo
...loading...
ved that joke. laughed every time.
When you realize the bald guy’s weird stare at Max was over twice as long as his fight with him.
Please Critic, review the Resident Evil movies : they're so awful !!!!
PS : Grey wall color !
I'd say that when it comes to reviewing those, the Blockbuster Buster did those movies justice. Though if the Critic wants to take a shot at them it would be cool to see.
Here in Cincinnati Ohio, we go from rain to snow to rain to ice to sleet to more rain to more snow then melted snow in one week of winter.
That's why we have a saying, "If you don't like the weather in Cincinnati, just wait five minutes."
You're from Cincinnati? I'M from Cincinnati! Skyline or Gold Star?
Sounds like Moscow if you combine all that at once and add lots of dirt
In Cleveland, one day it's snowing and 40° Fahrenheit and the next it's 80° Fahrenheit and sunny, it's very weird
Wow we have that same saying in Texas
I think everyone says that about there own hometowns lol
I really wonder if Critic realized ''Mute Baldy'', to call that character, was supposed to be Jack Lupino. You know, that mobster who got addicted to Valkyr so badly his mental stability dropped to the point where he became a worshipper of devils from different mythologies and saw himself as Fenrir, and was actually one of the best parts of the game.
But who am I kidding? This movie is so awful we needed to search the wiki to realize that guy was Lupino.
@RehlDregur the shielded Niup. Main villain ain't even Nicole Horne. It's B.B.
Santa Christ, how much do you guys make per month to afford such a large studio !?
Advertisement!
STAMPS
The illusion was great wasn't it?
@@lasarousi explain