When I was in active addiction I went to jail for a short while, and the one common denominator was that we were all abuse survivors. We all had severe trauma. It’s really sad. I just celebrated 8 years clean. We can recover with support.
My brother is currently struggling with addiction. We went through some rough times as kids. He always protected me… And seeing him in that state today makes me really sad. He took the hit for me back then. That’s why I’m not leaving his side now, I will walk this road with him by giving him as much love and support as he needs.
I like this man. Sometimes that's all that people need when they are going through addiction, is for someone to be there by their side & to not judge them & to understand them !
How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.
I'm sure he appreciates you not giving up on him, even if he hasn't expressed it verbally. I teared up when I read your comment, my brother hasn't given up on me through my addiction and that means more than the world to me. I wish the best for you and your brother, thank you.
@@lesleyhubble2976 you know, it really depends on the doctor and the environment. I have had amazing and terrible experiences with Medicaid and "nice" insurance alike. I wish you luck and hope I can be the kind of clinician you are longing for in a few years.
I remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe addiction depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with bipolar. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 4years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source. 🙏
Is that where they did the studies where they went around and stopped punishing people and forcing then into rigid recovery programs and instead gave them opportunities to be part of society through job training and h lo using assistance and stuff like that and like 90 percent of them ended up overcoming there addiction without being treated like a broken person but instead being treated like a valuable person?
March 24 2021 I celebrated 14 years and I Said I wanted to take myself and the kids to the beach for the weekend well a friend I was taking to help me with my son who is disabled ,the first thing he says is yeah I’ll go with you maybe we can sit by the beach and drink wine coolers I said I don’t need to go to one of my favorite places and spoil it by drinking after14years and I stood firm on that well that evening for some reason I thought about wine coolers hmmmm, and just as quick I reminded myself that one of anything that could have an effect on me will lead me back to where I left off 14 years ago and quickly I played the whole tape that one is never enough for this recovering addict and I’m always reminded by my other sober/recovering friends and sponsor and sponsees that if I don’t pick it up, I won’t get high my email is whiteshawhite@gmail.com if you ever thought that you could stay clean alone that is another trick your mind plays on you, be safe and stay away from the first one, Shonda
I'm sorry, but I had a horrific childhood that actually suppressed my innate potential to the point of lifelong emotional disability, even becoming homeless due to an impaired functioning ability. And through all of this I never had any drug or alcohol problems. Trauma leads to addiction only if the individual allows it to do so. I am now on the verge of homeownership.
Clean for 4 days from opiates. Longest I’ve managed in 2 years of my habit. It made me forget all my trauma until it wasn’t enough. Really excited to feel genuine happiness in sobriety, I just hope it’s one day soon. I needed to hear this video today. ❤️
I'm a veteran, was actually addicted to alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
YES sure of mycologist Predroshrooms. Mushrooms literally got me off my feet and turned my whole life around. I am currently a housing manager for a recovery program. I wouldn't have been able to do that shit without psilocybin.
Thanks for sharing your story. That's rough I sympathize. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health. I will pray for you all.
17 years in recovery. I've found that I've spent the entirety of my recovery unlearning everything I learned about myself as a child. I totally relate to your assessment of addiction.
As an ex-addict myself I honestly have to say that I see myself in what he is saying. I feel like he knew better why I chose that path than myself at the time. More people need to see this.
I am an ex addict and now an AOD worker, and learning all about illicit drugs and addiction - it taught me so much about myself and why I used in the first place!
Yesterday I celebrated 8 years clean and sober. I have a great life. Not always easy though! Well done to everyone who made it and to those who haven't there is help if you seek it.
Today I celebrate approximately two years of controlling my lifestyle. People may hate on me for saying that because "control" is deemed impossible for most but I think it's a pretty f*cking big deal.
1:08 hit me hard. Addiction is a response of human suffering and that broke me. I am a recovering alcoholic and it is hard staying sober. I have dealt with so much in my life and alcohol was always there for me. Never judged me and never left me. That line will forever tug at my heart strings because I felt every word like a sharp knife. I have gotten better control of my drinking. I slip up from time to time and I am trying. I have been getting better and stronger. I have been staying sober for longer periods of time and I will someday get rid of this demon. If anyone is reading this, please keep fighting the good fight. Screw everyone for judging you, even for relapsing. I'll be rooting for whoever is trying to get sober because I am in this fight as well and I will die trying to be sober.
I hope you are in AA -- it is not about fighting the good fight It is about finding the relief of surrender & the strength in numbers. Wishing you all the best for 2022 - you will put this all behind you and onward ho!
Every day you don’t use is a miracle from God! He has a plan and purpose for you. Your story can help others out of a deep pit. Keep up the good work one day or one hour at a time! You’re special and loved!!
The work this man puts into this world is a gift. As a psychotherapist I read a lot of theory but I’ve never heard anyone make sense of addiction with such deep wisdom. I have such deep gratitude for his teachings, personally and professionally.
as an recent addict entering recovery, having heard this video, now probably 6 times in the last 90 days, everytime I well up, because he NAILS it. I didn't even understand myself until I had watched this 10 minutes of video.
People are to busy counting money and escaping reality they ain't got time for nothing else. Basically everyone is an addict. It's doesn't really matter if it's money, power, things, activities or drugs. It's as bad to waste your life watching TV as it is doing drugs or working in an office 60 hours a week. Balance is the one thing everyone should search for. There are two kinds of people. The ones who do to much drugs and the ones who don't do enough of the right ones ;-)
@@aqanni This is where the internet comments section actually works! A great comment by TheMaharishi. They have hit the nail on the head. We are all addicted. This is something I learned coming through addiction myself and out the other side. As cheesy as this sounds, I have become addicted to actually living and loving my day, totally pure save a little vape machine I use and that will be removed this year.
I have compassion for those who actually try to overcome their addiction. But the ones that rob, kill, lie, do anything to get drugs I have no respect or sympathy for. They were horrible people before drugs and they're even worse on them. I know. I deal with addicts all the time at work. They treat me like shit, are rude, nasty, selfish people.
Unfortunately society will never change addicted 40 years amputation of right leg 3 wee brothers 2 çousins umpteen pals ALL DEAD "WE SAW THE NEEDLE, WE SAW THE ĎÀMAGE DONE..
“This is trench warfare” - “It is a response to human suffering” - “An attempt to escape suffering” “It is all about trauma” - This is deep. I agree completely. Thank you for sharing. 🙏🖤
@Shane, Yes if you can get the person to co- oporate . I've been telling a dear person to me, who's using, that meetings would help, etc. But doesn't seem to want to budge. So very hard. I do a lot of Praying.
@@jessicastrong6006 He’s not saying it’s Another individual’s responsibility to bring someone back from addiction by trying to connect with them. I am in a chemical dependency counseling master’s program, and the quote he is referring to is a comment on the larger society. The work and social structure in industrialized countries leads to a lot of isolation for most people. He was just talking about how an an ideal culture would foster more of a sense of belonging and community. It’s not a call to people to be codependent. It is almost never one friend relative or a loved one’s responsibility when someone feels isolated. You sound like you are a concerned person who has given of yourself to try to make someone feel they are worth giving themselves a chance. The sad thing about addiction is those afflicted don’t always agree with you, or may not be able to see the problem, as others do. Another saying I’ve heard is, “Crazy people don’t know they’re crazy.” I do believe people are capable of regaining insight. It didn’t happen to me, though, until I was forced into a drug treatment or threatened with prison. I honestly don’t know if I would’ve ever checked in, myself. It’s extremely hard to have that insight when parisitic substances have hijacked the brain, and will argue with everybody and everything that comes between drugs and their host.
@@jessicastrong6006 That's one of the main components that makes addiction so insidious .... Because it insidiously reaches out way beyond just the user. It affects everybody close to the user specifically family and friends. If it were as easy as that, drugs wouldn't be so all consumingly destructive. The person in your life sounds to be the archetypal addict...They aren't just being stubborn or difficult ,despite how it seems to you. A lot of people don't realise (or refuse to accept) that with drugs such as heroin and other opiates the addiction is also a physical dependence. .. Those incredibly painful and unpleasant withdrawal symptoms occur because the addicts body has physically adapted to the drug when used repeatedly.. Which is why there are withdrawals when the drug is not constantly present inside the body. The human brain literally mutates to depend on the drug.. That's only the physical side.. The majority of users will say that the PAWS (post acute withdrawals) are far worse than the initial withdrawal hence why staying clean is so difficult and the reason heroin alone has close to a 90% relapse rate! Because the brain and body isn't miraculously healed after a week of battling withdrawals. That's only the start. .. The psychological dependency will still exist within the brain because it hasn't gotten anywhere close to healing. PAWS last a long time.. typically anywhere between 6 months to 2 years but it's not uncommon they're present for up to a decade. ... Those things are rarely known or acknowledged . ...so you get people who say things like "you only have to get through the physical withdrawals and you're done".... Nah. So remember these things next time you feel like you are failing this person. Taking the inability to convince them to take steps to recovery as personal... It's addiction..... It's why many addicts end up alone and completely estranged from family. Almost all have had at least one person if not entire family units at some point who like yourself offered love and support. But eventually for their own protection have had to cut all ties because the addict continues the cycle. Keep praying. But stop thinking you or anybody but the addict themself can ultimately change that cycle.
This is why LOVE is the most important commandment. We need love each other not judge each other. May God bless everyone who is struggling ♥️ and everyone who is unsympathetic.
Thank you so much for this video. It has resonated with me to my core. I been struggling with a heroin addiction and I can’t figure out why I keep going back to it. I now understand I been carrying trauma I suffered as a little boy. I locked it away but in my late 30’s it came out and I started using. Drives me crazy because I have always hated drugs and now I became a slave. I am in tears right now and if I could just hold on.
You can get through this, but here is the tough reality that you will have to face. It will always be there, that is the addiction and to overcome it you will have to do the following. 1. Find another activity to replace it (working out, chess, sports, joining a club of sorts etc….) 2. Find a support group, people downplay this but it will open your eyes 3. Do it for someone and if there is no one and that is the case for some people, do it because you love yourself. 4. Because it only gets worse if you even do it once more. Love you man!
First get to a treatment center to separate the body and clear the mind then with support and things to replace habits because they are just that a responsive habit that can be broken with work. With time you will be able to put the pieces of you back together and you will look back at how beautifully shattered you were and are no longer. Through experience I know you will get through this and you will keep the message going ❤😉
There is no cure for my addiction, for I am absolutely powerless over it. I can however not engage in my addictive behavior once I find serenity. The way to find serenity is to make the 12 steps a way of life. Once that happens I no longer want to engage in my addictive behavior. This is the means to address my early childhood traumas with out engaging in my addiction. 11 years sober this month !
@@marks.6869 Agreed. They definitely help me but ultimately therapy and inner self work and a lot of other daily self care, digging into myself and other things is what has helped me stay clesn more than the steps ever has although it is a factor and positive thing in my life as well.
I have struggled with addiction since 2007 and after listening to this man I truly consider him a genius and the way that he's able to articulate WHAT addiction actually is and WHY it EXISTS in the first place is just mind-blowing. This truly is the best explanation of addiction I've ever heard.
Hi Angie :) I overcame a lifelong addiction and this is what I learned in the process. Peace. Trauma is registered in the human soul. Emotional pain when triggered arises from deep in the soul causing one to flee mentally and emotionally in the other direction, outside of themselves. This running often leads to substance abuse or repeated negative behaviors as a way to deal with the emotionally powerful feelings and/or memories that chase us. How can one who runs from his/her own soul overcome or make peace with their past when it takes the full power of one's soul to be able to fully heal successfully? Obviously, we must confront and treat the trauma before we can expect the addict to be able to reaccess the power of their own soul and have the conscious strength and lasting determination to successfully end their addiction. There may be desire to heal but there's no power to heal in one who is subconsciously running from their past. Stop running, observe your soul, confront your problem, only then is healing from all symptoms even possible. The drug is the symptom and the often subconscious soul trauma is the cause. [I'm speaking from personal experience but that doesn't make me right.]
Thats what my fiance said. I was kind of offended that he wanted me to watch. Bc addicts are not that uncommon. Why did I need to watch this for? Him: bc he explains it in a way that no one else does. Me: _throwing my hands up like a drama queen_ so when I am nice, or in other words putting the "weight of the world"... on my shoulders, im still being unheard? Bc it seems like it. No cred.
How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? The only common denominator between all addicts from any social background or distinction is that they are notorious liars. Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.
I like to get rid of these actual ' pests ' on youtube ! Ignorance is not bliss, its a reflection of YOU not anyone else that you chose to reflect it on to.
@@wakeandbakewithmaryjane1767 If they realised it they would change. That remains my opinion. If you like sddicts for neighbours etc it is your pleasure. Not mine! And don't worry, I do understand the intention of the video.
Be happy in your ignorance, no said you cant. You are clearly very happy in it. Carry on. I just wish we could get rid of you the same way. It means nothing to me, YOU are the minority not me. No need to explain your ignorance, I couldnt care less about it. Triggered much ?
Alcohol and cigarettes addiction actually destroyed my life. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my wife which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.
Can you help me with the reliable source. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Netherland. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
Yes benmycologys. Congrats! I'm really happy for you that your wife decided to help you. I always admire those who beat their addiction. Knowing it's possible to fix your life knowing there's people out there that have done what I thought was impossible gives me hope I will make it through as well. Those who share their experiences don't know how much it helps when you're about to give up, it gives you the strength knowing somone who actully know what it's like to go through this tell you it's possible, it's not the same somone telling you you can do it when they have no idea what it's like, but hearing somone who knows what it's like that helps a lot since you understand it firsthand and made it out gives so much hope. so thanks for sharing.
When your live in a state of fight or flight for so long, you don't even notice you're walking around in a state of fight or flight. Then your own behaviors and expectations compound your problems. The relief of "just one" or "just one more" becomes a necessity. And sometimes it literally is. Can't tell you how many times putting drugs in my system kept me from killing myself.
The great news is, you can overcome anxiety, you can overcome trauma, and you can overcome addiction/s. There are plenty of tools and resources to guide you through, you just need the right ones to suit your situation.
When you are able to put even just this tiny distance between your true self and your behaviour, as you have here in this comment, then you are already positioned to win back your self and live your best life. What you can 'see' can be exposed and changed. Blessings and peace to you.🙏🏾
I recommend Tom bilyeu, Russel Brand and Jay shetty podcasts. We are what we are exposed to (books, videos, tv shows, people, etc) and when you have deep seated traumas, there is so much to learn from people who dedicate a lifetime at helping people like you. These podcast by these highly empathetic people who seek to interview great human beings are overflowing with powerful information on how to help yourself. You end up becoming your own savior.
What sucks though is eventually the very thing you feel is helping will become the very thing you hate. Idk, addiction & being an addict is such a complex thing. One thing I have learned though throughout my struggle is I’d rather be present in life feeling than to be half way there feeling nothing.
When people love themselves, they control their existence. When they don't love themselves, they self sabotage. I was born into addiction and fight everyday to steer clear of those who don't love themselves. It's easy enough to do...I haven't spoken to my mother for most of my life. I love her, but I love myself more. Love and blessing to all. You got this
This has been so hard for me. For a long time, I’ve know that I don’t like my mom. No contact would be so liberating for me. My issue is the consequences that will come with it. I’m sure my whole family will hate me and take my moms side. I’ve been trying to tell them how emotionally abusive she’s been to me…the only responses I get are “give her a break, she’s doing the best she can” or “well it’s your fault because you don’t stand up to her.” No one ever takes my side. I suffer from addiction, but no one ever recognizes it as a result of my childhood trauma…but when my mom is mean, manipulative and a controlling bully…they all refer to her childhood trauma and say I need to focus on the good in her and not the bad. This is the result of being the family scapegoat and having siblings as the flying monkeys
@@KingMark33 I completely understand.. I haven't spoke to my mom since I was 38... I'm 48 this year. We can love someone from a distance. They never teach that. You do what you heart wants....if everyone taking the abusers side, holds you there...I will pray for you. I have been alone my while life...its ok to carry on and love yourself. You are worth it. I love my mom and pray for her. I have been doing the best...highly educated Loving ,caring and respectful peropls...we become what we allow. We all suffer from addictions..be an addict of something good...like education or work...this what I chose to be addicted 2. GOD BLESS YOU!!! Sit in the passenger and let God drive!!!!
@@KingMark33 That's a rough situation. In my family we all went no contact with our - and there is a solidarity and reassurance that comes from that. It's liberating, but in the early years there's some gnawing self doubt that later gave way to just ... not giving them another thought. But it's a difficult stand to make. Someone close to me is in a similar situation with their family as you are. What I would say, after 25 years knowing them and their difficult family situation, is that sometimes 'pretend contact' or safe-distance contact can be almost or maybe just as effective as 'no contact', just different. And keep you out of harms way of adverse attention, hostility and having those flying monkies set upon you. So that can involve staying far away. Making the absolute minimum contact, detaching and just keep to being polite, being busy with things more important to you. Aiming for something like the arms length professional distance you would keep from a difficult or bullying colleague at work. They'll still try to get the kicks in, via the siblings too. But if you aren't regularly immersed in it, it's not so deeply wounding that you can't shake it off. It's whatever you know deep down works best for you, in your individual situation. Any decision along whatever lines works for you could be liberating. If you make a very deliberate conscious choice based on how you feel about it all. Maybe talk it all through with someone you trust, or find someone you trust and then puzzle it out? It's a big topic.
Addiction is about escaping suffering but there is another form of suffering unrelated to the suffering from a traumatic past. This is the suffering of the now. The accumulated every day moments that drive a person into madness. In my opinion it is a mistake to think addiction is only caused by past trauma. Thinking that way can miss the Elephant in the room. I see more people using "addiction" to escape the now than I do to escape the past. It is also important to not think addiction is only about drugs. Almost anything can be used as an addiction. Addiction is an attachment to something to cope with suffering. To escape suffering. A healthy relationship too suffering (pain) eliminates addiction.
I agree with you. I know some seek substances or experiences simply because they trigger the pleasure center of the brain and it feels good. Then they seek it out and don't function as an adult. These people do not particularly have trauma.
I agree with you Katherine,I didn't have any significant trauma in childhood in fact no trauma at all,I was however unhappy in my teens and didn't feel as though I fitted in. Then I found cannabis which opened up a new world and a whole lot of new associates though that is all they were. Looking back on that pot use it was non stop and full of addiction red flags. In recent years most of my use has been to stem the memories of things that I have done during my addiction along with boredom.i am now just under one year clean from any mind altering substance and I've never been happier!
Absolutely I've been married to my husband for 15 years, 10 of those years he would cycle in and out of addiction and I didn't get it I never had used. My story in a nutshell. He went to prison for unrelated offenses for 2 years, I broke my foot my doctor gave me a huge unnecessary prescription of opiates and the rest is history... I am now a recovering heroin addict for not addressing the trauma of now. I try not to use the word "never" and I do my best not to be judgmental, I was humbled to say the least! right off my high horse.
He definitely sums up addiction well! Good video! Since 1973 I’ve always been addicted to something. Finally at the age of 62 I can say I’ve been clean for just over five years.
I don't know how many times I have said the same words and yet no one listens. So sad bc people can heal themselves first emotionally and the addictions can be easier to over come. My heart breaks for these souls. Thank you Dr. Mate. Bless you
At first, addiction is maintained by pleasure. But the intensity of this pleasure gradually diminishes and the addiction is then maintained by the avoidance of pain.
Not true for all cases people turn to drugs to relieve pain I know because I have experienced this people like u who think u know it all and blurt out stuff u have no experience in kill me and one of the reasons why I was in pain lack of understanding hurts like u will never know to put it in perspective I hate u made this comment so much if I could I would find u and end u but bcuz of the law I won’t please only speak positivity or on things u know or u will end up speaking to the wrong person
@@Stall-FedCalves Just saying its maintained by pleasure insinuates that its merely some hedonistic and gluttonous behavior though atleast to someone who only ever got into drugs because i couldn't handle the world around me. Not saying thats what he was trying to say at all but i could see how someone could interpret it that way.
It's hard to have compassion for a POS addict who robbed you, or hurt you, or is just a scumbag. Not saying all addicts are like this but the ones I have encountered don't deserve compassion from me.
@@ThorOdinson1269 Sounds like an excuse, having an addiction doesn't automatically turn you to thievery and violence. Those people still need help if they are even willing to take it, but doesn't mean those actions can simply be excused.
@@brotherman1 It's not an excuse, it's a reason. It's a result of addiction. It's literally the equivalent to a stab wound making you bleed. Just stop bleeding? It's obviously still a shit thing to do, but people do bad things due to bad things happening to them. And not showing compassion because you were emotionally affected by someone else's emotional pain is not the way to go man.
@@YellowIcicle it began by listening to life, and all things that were happening to me, being alone and no matter what i listened to myself and tried to understand my choices, why i made them, what i could learn. for 3 years i used meth every day and because i chose not to beat myself up anymore over my choices it freed me up to learn from it. i learned forgiveness for my birth mother and my adopted mother from my cat that got lost and then came back.. there is so much more. i did it on my own and then discovered Gabor Mate on accident and then i realized i had figured out his theory on myself and used his methods on myself without even knowing about them. i am 56 years old and for the very first time in my life i love myself and am figuring the way out from addiction and depression with only a GED, youtube and an open mind. i am truly thankful and want to share.
@@egyjuice I will try...first I really listened to my own story. I took my time and started to identify my feelings, why i had them, how I felt about my family, how I was treated, how I related to the world, the circumstances that brought me into the world, figured out missing pieces, started paying attention to the things life was showing and telling me...i am trying to get in touch with dr mate i am a walking, talking example of his theories and methods and i did it on my own. i have so much more i want to say but I get overwhelmed with it all and can't find the words i need. however they are coming, the universe is smoothing things out and doors will open and I will be able to share. no one needs to suffer because of lack. we all have exactly what we need inside ourselves to heal. we just have to relearn how to listen and understand our own unique self that no-one else on earth can know, i am seriously wanting to do a youtube channel about stuff like this, if i can help anyone from suffering even for just 5 minutes its a win for me''
I don't think you can come out of a dysfunctional family that may have trauma, abuse neglect or all of them and not be an addict of some sort. It is the core of addiction and other issues like Dr. Mate said. I use to think only drugs and alcohol qualified but now I know it could be anything. Trying to fill the hole in the soul with something outside of us. Dr. Mate is on point completely.
To be honest, I don't agree with some of his statements. Addiction is not only caused by Deficenies or suffering. It's also caused by extremes. You can see many spoiled brats getting addicted to videogames as a child and party drugs as a teen. You can see people whose very happy and comfortable get addicted to alcohol, they use it not to alleviate their pain, but just for mere enjoyment.
@@UN1VERS3S you think just because they are "happy and comfortable" that they are not still searching for something to fill that hole, using something over and over but "just for enjoyment" qualifies as addiction bro.... we look to that one thing to make us feel good until thats the only thing we can look at, thats how addiction works.
Well explained. Even if we re not addicts as such, we all engage in numbing, distracting and compulsive behavious to distract ourselves from 'problems we have no other solutions for'
Isabella, I'm afraid God doesn't exist, nor Satan, not Mahoma, not Jesus Christ, not Budha, not Zaratustra, etc... 'em are all LIES per se to control Population. The Empowered People are very interested in entertaining us (The Forgoten), cause if they don't do it them would be exposed to our power (Spiritual Power), cause God you are and it's inside you. You have all the answers to yourself and you just have to Genuin Trust Yourself. I'll leave you something would make U not to pray anymore, cause if U Whant To Change Something:"Just Do It" New Order -- True Faith I feel so extraordinary Something's got a hold on me I get this feeling I'm in motion A sudden sense of liberty I don't care 'cause I'm not there And I don't care if I'm here tomorrow Again and again I've taken too much Of the things that cost you too much I used to think that the day would never come I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun My morning sun is the drug that brings me near To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear I used to think that the day would never come That my life would depend on the morning sun When I was a very small boy Very small boys talked to me Now that we've grown up together They're afraid of what they see That's the price that we all pay And the value of destiny comes to nothing I can't tell you where we're going I guess there was just no way of knowing I used to think that the day would never come I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun My morning sun is the drug that brings me near To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear I used to think that the day would never come That my life would depend on the morning sun I feel so extraordinary Something's got a hold on me I get this feeling I'm in motion A sudden sense of liberty The chances are we've gone too far You took my time and you took my money Now I fear you've left me standing In a world that's so demanding I used to think that the day would never come I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun My morning sun is the drug that brings me near To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear I used to think that the day would never come That my life would depend on the morning sun I used to think that the day would never come I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun My morning sun is the drug that brings me near To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear I used to think that the day would never come That my life would depend on the morning sun End
Well, there's another way too:"If You Whant To Change Something, Change Yourself" Thanks for reading if you have done it, and if you haven't doesn't matter. Peace, Love and Anarchy (Notice that Peace and Love are before Anarchy) One Love One Heart 🙌❤✌😉
As I said before:"You Have All The Answers To Yourself ". Definetly I'm not an Oracle. But I'm afraid God does not exist cause I've been searching Him or Her for so long, and due to all this Hell I've lived He or She, in case that's the answer, might have appeared and they didn't. I believe in Love, Kindness, Empathy, Peace (Real One), and all this qualities Human Kind has and he's lost... That could be an answer?
I'm an addict..I wish there wasn't so much stigma around addiction,and that there were more like Gabor that had compassion,empathy, understanding for addicts...ask not why the addiction,but why the pain...❤️💯💯🙏
Yep. I couldn't maintain sobriety without facing the traumas I endured. 3 years into my sobriety and bam! The night terrors and hallucinations started - ptsd. I found a therapist who also happened to be sober so she understood the value of my sobriety. She was also a gifted therapist and asked me all the right questions. That was 33 years ago. I'll be forever grateful. I've seen many fellows go back out because no one understood they needed help with trauma :( Been a fan of Dr. Mate now for years. He's supposed to release a documentary, soon.
@@jenwendy7 been sober going on six years. I’ve told a few people I swear I haven’t had a good nights sleep in about five years. Night mares almost every time I drift off. Can’t really stay asleep longer than two or three hours. But even tho there’s all that, I still feel stronger emotionally and physically than I ever have.
My mate is an alcoholic. He is anorexic now because he cant hold down food. Hes in pain everyday. It doesnt look like he is going to get better. He has liver damage and i think kidney damage too. My problem is weed. I am having a hard time stopping smoking weed. I enjoy it but it stinks and makes me poor
How I've seen it since high school is: "It doesn't matter how we label it- choice, disease, or otherwise- because that doesn't get people the help they need." I hadn't put together the response to trauma part. This was eye opening.
"This is the real secret of life -- to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play." -- Alan Watts
Nothing to do with what's being discussed in the video whatsoever. You just craving the feels of grandiosity by using some "wise person's words" randomly in a YT comment.
I quit drinking after decades, within a year of starting trauma therapy, on my own & w/o AA. I lost my son 3 years ago, suddenly and it did provoke trauma response but there was no temptation to self-medicate. We need more professionals & resources for mental health, I don't know anyone who grows up saying that they are going to grow up to be an addict. Dr Gabor Mate', whom I've met, is a quiet hero amongst a world in denial. Thank you Dr. ❤️🔥
Not really, how many kids are out at parties and someone pulls out some hardcore drugs and they accidentally get addicted to it? Pain played no role here only stupidity. Its very possible to get addicted to certain drugs the first time you try it.
Finally, someone who knows that addiction is not a disease! I’ve faced addiction 3 times with 3 different drugs and beat it with zero professional help. A new approach must be taken and this Doctor is on the right path. God bless you sir!
"3 times with 3 different drugs ". Did you manufacture these drugs, or did you get a 'script from a professional? Be honest with yourself, you DID receive professional help.
@Nexter5722 I disagree....for me it was very difficult...I functioned very well, worked in a professional field and used heroin on weekends or between jobs (I worked mostly big projects as a surveyor) ....I had the good fortune to overdose at 17 in 1968, with the better fortune to have a couple older friends who saved my life....but I was cautious after that, and equally worried about hepatitis so was as safe as possible. I was at the upper end of the user portion of the continuum of use- abuse.-addiction It was much later in life, during the economic downturn of the early 90s and back in university in a Social Work program that I was actually first diagnosed with PTSD....the journey in PTSD treatment then a growing understanding of Complex PTSD has the effect of eliminating the desire for pain numbing drugs. Since then I have worked with a lot of people who had addiction as part of their issues, and virtually all of them had been exposed to childhood trauma .
What drugs? Using needles? Smoking K2 is not the same as shooting cocaine and heroin. You sound like the same people that say "oh pick yourself up just stop"
@@ruslannabiev2399 It all starts with the first impact of huge emotional pain. When it's too much to comprehend. Emotional pain is common, but when it's too much as a kid...might be the start of it all in my opinion. A spiral in a cycle of confusion
What about people who just “tried” drugs like herion for example then became addicted. This happens and then they steal to feed the habit and hurt other people. This isn’t right or fair on others. Yes pain is most likely, very likely to be the main purpose to get away from a hurt past but for many others it’s been being with the wrong people and experimenting. Pain or other issues can then be used as an excuse this I believe.
I lost my mom at 15 to lung cancer after that my dad started really hitting the bottle hard. I became his sometimes literal punching bag until he passed away oct 1st 2018 at 57 from a heart attack I was 21. My family from my grandfather 2 uncles and two aunts on my dads side are all alcoholics. The only way we know how to deal with pain is substance abuse. After my father died I really started to lose it I lacked guidance and the only two people who really gave me that guidance were no longer on this earth. I slowly delved deeper and deeper into cocaine and alchohol until I was starting to lose control then me and my little sister sold the family home she moved on with a boyfriend and went to therapy i moved into my friends house with 425k in my pocket and made cocaine my best friend. Needless to say I blew most of that money on cocaine gambling women and booze. Anything to just make me not feel. I’m a lil over a month out of rehab and have had 2 lapses already. I’m not ashamed tho I’m proud that I’m fighting to live and I’ve given up trying to die. Life is not easy or fair but it is worth it. It’s time to break the cycle much love, Cale.
I love what you said, life may be hard and not fear but is so worth it. I deal with alcohol abuse and the pain I feel sometimes is just unbearable but I am not ready to give up. We can do it!!
How much did your dad or mom smoke? Asking this because-of concern of lung cancer Im 23 tears old , smoker for 3 years and smoke about 20 cigarettes daily
This is an excellent summary of addiction. I have battled addiction for most of my adult life and I think it is important to stress that feeling emotional pain is not about focusing on past trauma, but is often felt by involuntary response within ones own nervous system when challenging situations arise in everyday life. As the author said addicts do not typically possess the tools to cope with certain emotions because they were never taught to do so as a child. The vicious circle of addicts being treated as criminals and sub human is a complete failure of society to recognise that addicts are victims and deserve our help and support. The costs involved in adopting such an approach means it is more convenient for politicians and society at large to dismiss addicts as being bad people.
This video is amazing. My dad is an addict and throughout my childhood I always thought that he CHOSE drugs over my siblings and I, I now realise it wasn't that black and white, he self-soothed in hopes of healing his traumatic childhood and unfortunatley unded up with a severe drug addiction. This video has changed my whole perspective, I now understand my Dad and why he is the way he is and I have the upmost love and compassion towards him. Thank you!
How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? The only common denominator between all addicts from any social background or distinction is that they are notorious liars. Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.
i might know why. I similarly choose drugs over my dog sometimes (my dog is my only reason to live), the more i love my dog, the more it makes me realize that i was never loved. its a paradox loop. if your dad is like me, his love for you might be the reason he chose drugs. the more he loved you, the more trauma he got from realizing he was never loved. if he is like me, he is honest, merciful, and not strict. he makes you feel good and gives advice instead of punishment. he easily changes his mind based on your opinions. i hope im right.
One thing I try to keep in mind with my parents is they didn't have the mental health resources medications and it was something that a lot of people kept things hush hush because it's frowned apon.
Unfortunately they are cut off as a child I understand and as a mother I learned my lessons and I will no longer come back three months later and make up it's not happening that is the same things went too far when you put my son in your house with drugs in it when I asked you if you are using please let me know I'll stay somewhere else she said you know I'm not doing anything you and my grandson I staying here will guess what surprise she was using methamphetamine I know my look in my eyes when I found out the look I never done before my 28 years from that day all she's dead to me
It saddens me how truly these human beings with addiction are so harshly judged by society. Really disgusting honestly. Thank you for this factual and informative video.
It's very hard , I was repeaditly raped as a child by a neighbour, there were also troubles at home with drink and fighting n abuse... I was in a very abusive relationship... I'm 46 now and i have to admit an alcoholic n addicted to prescribed medication.... I've had friends just screaming at me and saying they'll end the friendship if I don't GET MYSELF TOGETHER... even family telling me I'm useless.. it makes me feel worse so I'll drink to numb how horrible I am... I don't want to be this way
As I grow older, I stopped thinking it’s our intelligence, or education, or the amount of money we have that makes us unique and different from each other it’s our experiences. those experiences dictate how we think, how we love, how we react to stress, and eventually how we choose to leave this world.
Yeah it sucks. Luckily, in my experience, at least, the stigma has been lessening, even if ever so slightly. I'm 24 now, and compared to when I first entered a treatment facility at age 17, even the professionals have begun to rethink their approach and the words they say. I won't lie and say I don't still hear people saying ignorant stuff, but in the last five years I've definitely seen a decrease in it. Something I'm really grateful for is how people have started to accept that addiction is a disease. Not everyone, but in the last year alone I've had people come up to me and apologize for saying things like "addicts are just bad people that choose to make bad decisions," and so on. I think the only way we're ever going to fix the drug epidemic is by learning to accept what's happening and by realizing that once an addict doesn't have to mean always an addict.
@@vannah12222 Addiction has spiritual roots. It’s a matter of through trauma fragmenting & demons gaining access. Check out my Deliverance/Healing/Integration playlist. I’m always adding to it.
I'm almost completely surrounded by smokers. People are constantly asking me for cigarettes. I've never smoked ever in my whole life. This explains a lot. Thank you.
Addiction is a disease in the sense that the brain goes through dysfunctional processes (releasing neurotransmitters in certain circuits) that make it understandable why it's easy to do it again and again and why it's difficult to stop. Even after the original trauma is resolved, the addiction has to be addressed separately because there is a biological component that is maintained even though the original addictive behavior is triggered by psychological pain.
@@Tamarahope77 the problem though isn't just the initial trauma. that in itself creates it's own demons in later life(in my case) which are debilitating to this day.
We tend to numb the pain with drugs, too much unhealthy food, alcohol, sex, gambling, porn, etc. But it’s in the pain that lies our best transformation ever! Your worst times can become your best times. Don’t numb the pain, use it as fuel instead 🔥🔥🔥. Much love and success to all of you. ❤️❤️❤️
@@mou7866 a good start, in my opinion, is to open up about the pain or the addiction with supportive people, with those we have a great connection with. To feel understood and surrounded by those who care about us really decreases the emotional discomfort and is one of the best 1st steps we can make towards recovery.
Thank you for explanating addictions. I am an addict. No one knows my pain. How hurt I feel every day every moment of the day. I am alone. No one has yet noticed how I am functioning as a normal person. But I know I must change. Thanks once again for the enlightenment.
I'm right there with you. Just a hollow shell going through the motions day after day working so I can have enough to pay rent and not get sick. Terrible. I dont get paid for another 12 hours and I'm terribly sick right now. Its awful how we do this to ourselves
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Not always. I didn't turn to drugs because of a trauma or bad childhood but it certainly became a crutch as I got older and experienced sadness and loss
@@deltahomicide9300 I said nothing about trauma or bad childhood, although they can lead to addiction. Inner pain and turmoil or similar if not synonymous with sadness and loss.
@@okthennone Oh okay. Well allow me to clarify where I'm coming from. I saw addictive substances for what they are. No matter where I came from or what I've been thru - I got addicted thru enough usage and time. That's the nature of addictive substances. One day I did it to have a good time / forget, and before I knew it I became an an addict. Still it's a cop out to say Everyone gets hooked bc they're trying to fill a hole, a spiritual need. No. I kept feeding the habit until it became a chemical dependency. I don't need to seek therapy or medical treatment. I quit or cut down on my own. My whole thing is I fly solo and stay sober, and other addicts can do the same. I know this is sacrilege in many formal programs - the idea that we can quit on our own with no formal support network or medical treatments. Well I'm here to say not only did I quit, but once in a while I can still drink or get high. It's not a relapse either. I simply have my priorities in order
Finally an explanation I agree with. Addiction is a response to suffering. It is a simple as that. What we all have is a broken heart, and we find what we find to help manage that broken heart.
This has been a theory of mine. First time I've heard anything like this!!!! Rehab to me is useless for me personally. Never been. Never will. Interventions? Worst idea EVER. The addict goes to treatment for wrong reason. Can't be for your kids, spouse,fam, etc. Has to b 4 you I have seen more in my 40 yrs that no human being should have to endure. So I decided this is the reason for addiction, if you get to the core of the trauma, relapse chance is slim. But I have decided that I'm going to be a substance abuse counselor. Bc there is literally nothing a person can walk in and tell me that ive not experienced May sound far fetched. But I think of everything. I tell myself I've been through all these years of pure hell, abuse, trauma, everything, so I can relate to anyone that will come in my office to see me. That's my purpose. I've been through hell so I could ease others away from passing through it's threshold. I have extreme childhood trauma. As well as the rest of my life until now. I have lost over 25 FRIENDS to the opiate epidemic. I don't want a spot on that list . God bless everyone. Keep ur heads up. Don't be ashamed of WHO YOU ARE. Be ashamed of decisions and actions. Life didn't get this bad overnight....... Gonna take more than overnight to clean up ur mess. Start by literally making a list of everything u need to do. Starting with easiest to the hardest. Work ur way from top to bottom. After a few things work out easily, ur whole attitude will change. Bc u now know little things we take for granted are things that can help us more than we think.......... Working on med ins bc unfortunately I'll need replacement therapy for a bit. Suboxone works if you let it honestly. Then I found out I only have 4 tickets to pay to get license back. There were 8 or 9..... Health/sobriety Mend relationships License GED Loan for classes/Enroll College Small HUD loan so I don't ever have to live this way again..... I'm excited for the first time in a very long time..... Sorry for the novel. But I felt compared to share. Good luck to anyone and everyone with whatever journey ur on. Even the ppl that think being 5,6 or even 7 days clean is nothing...... Its a hell of a start loves 💜
I recently had a deep conversation about addiction arriving at the conclusion that there has to be another angle that we aren't seeing outside of the two predominant modes of thought. Thank you for this. This is a solid alternative explanation.
Addiction is from so many things...emotional abandonment, suppressing familial stress from parental alcoholism and illness. Covering up the pain in whatever way that soothes...whether nail biting, shopping, smoking pot, over exercising and sexing, fixing others, but not self are all ways we can anesthesize suppressed feelings and deny our need to self reflect on the destruction our negative habit patterns that run our lives. Cultivating self love is the answer and for many a life long process to finally get that inner boundaries count aligned with the integrity of our word, that we are worthy of the good, the beautiful and the true, that we have value and can finally love both ourselves and others without Co dependency and dysfunctional mirroring of our unprocessed wounds. Living a Spiritual life of surrender in the constant becoming...has led me to my inner prayer. " Thank you God for Me, Because of You, I AM! Journey Well!
I remember my friend's response to my having told her I had tried cocaine when I was in my early 20's. "You're lucky you didn't get addicted" she said. "No chance of that. I wasn't emotionally dependent upon it" I replied. I was an addict, cocaine just wasn't my "drug" of choice. Stunned by my response she reacted with "you know, all the years I'd been in AA, no one ever brought up the emotional part of addiction". Just from my own experience I always knew there was an emotional element to why people become addicted to some substances/activities, yet not others. The abscence of genuine love and all it contains (peace, acceptance, value, joy, dignity), drives you to seek out relief for the trauma you endure. The right questions, at the right time, and in the right manner - can be life-transforming!
Well stated. This is my current experience. What my therapist says. I relapsed on pills after 14 years. But I still never drank … Until I did! We all have a story and mine was neglect and rejection. Can’t believe I haven’t “mastered” my past yet. I don’t even get the connection but I believe what my therapist says about my brain storing past pains … way in the back. Hope to connect it all one day. But even if I don’t, I pray God relieves of the bondage of myself 🙏
This bought tears to my eyes because it is so true. A person that has been thru this is not understood and the pain you feel and the shame you feel is hard to escape so you find a way...
I look for a way every day just to make it w/ out the pain... then after awhile or years you realize you’re addicted and try to remember why you started or what pain
Absolutely. No one does 'wrong' in their right mind. I've noted that way too many's suffering was from past traumas which the street drugs are a temporary outlet to escape.....which is addictive. Emotional traumas (sexual abuse is a very HUGE part of emotional/physical/psychological traumas) which are painful in many ways...then the gaslighting, ie blaming the child...stealing their self esteem/worth...etc., the degrading the child's id....making them ashamed of themselves & more. This speaker knows exactly what he's talking about. Then, also, abusers band against the child which gives the victim a fully gossiped degrading tortue of lies that are overwhelming, hence way too often they just 'give up' as hope, aspirations were stolen from them by the lies/cons/various abuses by the guilty. Unless a 'counselor' has lived thru abuses they'll never understand.....no matter their degees!! Which is another reason too many sufferers don't get assistance. It's much easier to blame the victim & prescribed pills are not the answer either. Hugs go a very long way in a compassionate attitude towards lifting a victim out of their hell by stepping outside yourself...listen, hear & feel their pain to even get a small grip of their suffering. "Never look down upon another unless you are looking for their hand to raise them up....even if that is above yourself!" I know!....my father was a pedophile (a narcsisstics killer & more), starting on me b4 I could crawl as a baby. No, I didn't do drugs BUT I didn't start to live/heal til I was 72 yrs, 1 mo. & 4 days old....a life wasted! I made poor choices in settling for less as I felt so unworthy of anything better. 2 things my father said to me as a teen (among decades of other degration by him & my relatives), that still haunts my mind: "no decent man will ever want you....you are damaged goods"......&, "your mother told me she was sexually abused as a child....but....I forgave her for that." Any degreed counselor should not talk with any sexually abused victim UNLESS they've a trained survivor with them to assist them in comprehension, unless they have survived such cruelties personally....otherwise you'll never get it & will not be able to help. No one, truly, does 'wrong' in their right mind (emotionally).....unless you're narcsisstic, which is a whole 'nother issue. HUGS2U
Well I'm 63 and I feel what you are saying. My shits to long to go into I just want to go out this life substance free .its about time someone with his compassion explains the depth of childhood abuse. I will write a book on surviving my outrageously abusive childhood into my adulthood as it's been suggested by everyone who knows my past. But first I have to be d and a free. My prayers to all suffering in any form.
This is the most honest video I have ever seen about addiction some people don't even realize that they've been traumatized because it's buried so deep. The saddest thing in our universe is that we have spirits locked up in prison because of their addiction
And frequently wrong. He has never offered an example a person he or anyone else has healed the trauma and went on to be substance free. Especially CONTROLLED DRINKING.
I've long thought that we spend a good part of our lives recovering from our childhood. I was sexually abused by an uncle until the age of 11. I buried the memories so successfully that when I started to have flashbacks in my 40's I was shocked. When I finally let the pieces of the puzzle fall into place in therapy, everything made sense. The relationships I chose, the drinking, the trust issues. My point being that there are a lot of us who are genuinely perplexed by our own behavior until the memories start to come back.
I am terribly sorry to hear about your childhood. I was also molested until about the same age. Im 22 years old now and I finally realized what had happened to me at about 18ish. I was on lsd and told a friend.. god man,do you remember the first time you told someone? Didnt it feel like a weight off your chest? I remember crying so hard when i told my friend, that feeling was unmeasurable. Can you tell me about your break through or epiphany if you would? Im curious how you dealt with it and if youve recovered from these memories. We are definitely a rare breed for having gone through that
@@josefcosta5269 Our brains and nervous systems are wired to dissociate us from experiences that are extremely horrible and painful in order for us to survive. The dissociation remains and blocks memories of the event. Even perpetrators can disassociate from their actions. Most if not all perpetrators are traumatized people as well...and so the cycle goes.
@@savvybytes3748 So you mean some people dont know if they have been molested as kids because the brain has blocked it.... So how can some1 know if they hav been molested if the brain have blocked it? ...
@@josefcosta5269 very good question. For me, I hit almost an epiphany. And it's not like you completely forget it happened, but you realize what happened was traumatic and you relive it when youre older(after becoming more intelligent) and realize it's wrong. For example, I had blocked these memories until I talked to my friend about exposing our own secrets (we were 18 and it was a deep 5 am conversation). He told me a funny secret and I told him my molestation memories. When I told him, it sounded fucked up saying it outloud and when I saw his reaction, i cried like a baby. I realized everything that happened to me wasnt normal, I thought everyone faced difficult hardships like myself until I had this conversation with my friend. And when you remember these blocked memories, they come in a flurry, you relive it. It was a huge break through for me, it's hard to explain but thats the most accurate way I can describe it
The more humans suffer the more they seek pleasures to compensate for it. When those pleasure consists of drugs, a vicious downwards spiral often begins
Agree .. when we have problems .. we need the strength to avoid turning towards a quick fix.. sometimes we need to feel those bad feelings simply to move through them
This guy is beyond brilliant. He has a great mind. I only wish people like him would want to become leaders in this world and others were smart enough to start a movement in the right direction. However I feel too much of this world is already f***** to the point beyond help and others are too lazy to join in the fight. I thank you for this video and it has opened my eyes immensely. Keep publishing great work like this. You have the utmost respect from me and many others I'm sure. Thank you for sharing your work and research.
I fought addiction for many years, in and out of prison the whole nine yards. Sometime in my mid 40s I just lost my want to get high. I can't explain it or put my finger on it. I guess I just had enough. Now when a junkie asks me for money on the streets I dont judge them I give them money. I understand than even though it is killing them at least I can help them be well even if only for a moment. I have had so many friends die young, it is a sad way of life.
@@salometipsandtricks2786 stop giving them money won’t stop them...they’ll just turn to,stealing and robbing at gun point...which would you rather have??
What a wise and kind person is Gabor Mate, i live in Armenia and im an addict, they dont now how to help addicted youth here they just ruine peoples life, my goal is to translate this speech and try to help addicted people here and help myself!!! It is horrible to be an addict in a place like here no help whatsoever,im very very grateful to Gabor, unimaginable help, carried me through the darkest times, i wish everybody who reades this to get clean soon it is possible with the help of God and people like Gabor!!!!!
YES!!!!! I 155% AGREE!!!! Until I could forgive myself and others I could not STAY SOBER!!!!! Clean and Sober since 5-10-2015. I was a traumatized little girl sexually abused from ages 2-5 then lived a great upbringing with excellent school grades very talented. However at 24 I was trafficked because deep down I felt yucky no real sense of self love. At 29 I got away from the evil handlers and God sent me a beautiful Soul Gentleman to LOVE ME BACK TO LIFE UNTIL I COULD LOVE MYSELF!!!!! We were married 21 blissful years then on 5-10-2019 I got my 4 years sobriety at 6am then at 11:11am I was burying my Beautiful Beloved!!!!! I really had to seek a Power greater than myself and keep believing for myself. Today I live very happy joyous and free 💜 THANK YOU GOD!!!!! Don’t give up on yourself because GOD LOVES YOU!!!!! I take very good care of myself my mind my heart ♥️ and my Soul!!!!! JESUS CHRIST SET ME FREE!!!!!!
This is exactly what addiction was for me. I stopped drinking 12 years ago because I’m an alcoholic. However, I didn’t deal with my emotional trauma, until I met the right therapist, 2 years ago. He helped me to heal my soul and it was life-changing. 🙌 I love how normal it's becoming to talk about mental health. I never understood why there’s such a stigma attached to seeing a therapist and wanting to better yourself.
I'm doing my 2nd session in therapy..I'm learning to become more emotional intelligent..it's a cost In south africa 🇿🇦 conserdering that we are one of the most unequal country in the world ..I will push and persevere..I got this 👍
This is what I hope for my husband, to seek help, he is in denial that he has emotional trauma of neglect. He has being drinking for decades. Today it would be his 3rd day sober. I pray he continues standing firm in the fight and gets help.
Im of alcohol& Tobacco for 6 & 4months. On a nofap journey which are going very well also. Heard this quote that make me think twice. “When i get the urge i know something else is stressing me out & i need to focus on that. It was very powerfull for myself to realise. STAYHARD!
He literally just told me why I’m at this very moment tho I’m ashamed to say I’m addicted to alcohol and drugs myself. He just said what happened to me in my life and how I tried to handle it and what my consequences were. He also made me think very deeply and now I can honestly say I know that I can get over my problems and be productive
His approach to addiction is so compassionate. I never really thought much about this stuff until I became emotionally dependent on prescription benzodiazepines. My dad was an alcoholic, and I did my share of drinking in my 20s, but I stopped when I began blacking out. It was easy because I never liked the taste of alcohol. It didn’t occur to me that I might have a predisposition to addiction. However, when I became severely depressed later, I began extra dosing with the benzos originally prescribed for anxiety and insomnia. That’s the first time I experienced what it’s like to zone out of the pain that was my life at the time, and man, I loved how they made me feel. I began extra dosing more and more and lying about why I was going through my prescriptions so quickly. I eventually started planning my weekends around my drug use. I finally had to be hospitalised to manage the withdrawal when my shrink pulled the plug on the benzos. But I remember thinking if this is what heroin feels like, I totally get why people take it. The experience completely altered the way I think about addiction and addicts, and I have a lot more compassion now.
I did a lot of drugs in my life, speed, flakka, cocaine, GHB, tramadol, oxycodin, alcohol. But the thing that maked me a real addict were the benzos, oh that stuff just got me and made me feel like a real addict for the first time, the brutal withdrawals multi-day blackouts, seizures.. no not that 'dangerous' illegal street drugs, nope the legal presscription drugs. Now im clean and in recovery.
A deeply empathetic and compassionate man. It boggles the mind how society can judge substance abuse as they gorge on food, sex, consumerism, work, alcohol, netflix.. I mean the list goes on and on as to what we use nowadays to escape and numb ourselves.
Remember: what others say/think about you often times has nothing to do w U= it’s suppression, repression, projection & judging is just another form of escaping their own addiction that’s either hidden & denied or sociably acceptable such as working exercising = addiction in and of itself isn’t bad, it’s the addict and the consequences of having such addiction
As a single parent of three kids, i thought i spent all my life protecting my children from harm, but listening to this, i was probably part of the stress and trauma on my kids. Only one is an addict and could never really figure it out. But i was unhappy and stressed when they were small, it is an eye opener.
I'm quit smoking Cigarette and Weed cold turkey exactly one week ago. I would smoke a pack a day and a zip of kush in 3 days. Addiction is nothing nice. ITS BY THE GRACE OF GOD! I want to celebrate one year free this time next year!
@@kingbiibii it does feel counterintuitive. After being completely sober for a whole year, I thought I was free at last. But the hardest time was after a year, because I felt a really strong urge to smoke. I felt like I had no choice. No control. In that desperate moment, the only comforting thing I can say is “Ok. I can smoke if I want to. But I’ll do it tomorrow instead”. When the day after comes, the urge to smoke usually dissipates. If it doesn’t, I tell myself the same thing. It really works
@@ShadowyBlink I can peek into your perspective. I've been down this road before too. I quit for a good year when I gave my life to Christ Oct 11 2018. After I backslid in Dec 2019, I started saying to myself "I guess I've sinned, i'll just continue in my old ways" MORE SIN, MORE ADDICTIONS. I hated myself! I still prayed often, till I reconnected with Christ again and I can easily find my reason to not smoke because I laid it all on him. Yes!
For cigarettes, what made me relapse after 6 months was drinking. You get tempted to smoke when you're buzzed. Not only are you cognitively impaired but the sensations of craving are stronger too since you associate smoking with drinking quite strongly. I suggest avoiding alcohol is possible. If not, do not give in to the voice that says just one drag. Stay strong buddy. You're doing great!
When I was in active addiction I went to jail for a short while, and the one common denominator was that we were all abuse survivors. We all had severe trauma. It’s really sad. I just celebrated 8 years clean. We can recover with support.
Congrats!!
GOD BLESS YOU for your 8 yrs clean👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 keep it moving & stay strong💪
Your story is so true, I honestly hope you are still doing well.
Congratulations on your clean time, ‘’ one day at a time’’ 👍
@Mamma Deuces...congrats hun...keep on that path of sobriety
My brother is currently struggling with addiction. We went through some rough times as kids. He always protected me… And seeing him in that state today makes me really sad. He took the hit for me back then. That’s why I’m not leaving his side now, I will walk this road with him by giving him as much love and support as he needs.
I like this man. Sometimes that's all that people need when they are going through addiction, is for someone to be there by their side & to not judge them & to understand them !
How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.
That's extremely important for you to be there for him. Learn about addiction. God bless you both.
I'm sure he appreciates you not giving up on him, even if he hasn't expressed it verbally. I teared up when I read your comment, my brother hasn't given up on me through my addiction and that means more than the world to me. I wish the best for you and your brother, thank you.
Love you for this 💪🏿
Medical student here. We've had multiple lectures on trauma, adverse childhood events, and spiritual aspects of healthcare. Things are changing.
That’s really heartening to hear, thank you! You got this!
Don’t lose your compassion
I don’t think doctors have the time to sit and listen, not there fault,more money is needed
@@lesleyhubble2976 you know, it really depends on the doctor and the environment. I have had amazing and terrible experiences with Medicaid and "nice" insurance alike. I wish you luck and hope I can be the kind of clinician you are longing for in a few years.
That's so great to hear. 💞
I remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe addiction depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with bipolar. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 4years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing!
Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I can't wait to get them too.
Really need a reliable source. 🙏
doctormaxshrooms is your guy, got all kinds of psychedelics.-:(
Where do I reach this dude? If possible telegram or TikTok
Yes he's doctormaxshrooms. I know few friends who no longer suffer ptsd and anxiety with the help of shrooms.
This is why the Portuguese approach towards drug addicts is so good. Seeing drug addicts as someone who need help, not seeing them as criminals.
Is that where they did the studies where they went around and stopped punishing people and forcing then into rigid recovery programs and instead gave them opportunities to be part of society through job training and h lo using assistance and stuff like that and like 90 percent of them ended up overcoming there addiction without being treated like a broken person but instead being treated like a valuable person?
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@Sérgio Nogueira Thats the smart thing to do. Here in Canada we are moving in the same direction.
What does that look like though?
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"the more hurt they are, the more they need to escape"
@Fiji Water wdym
Repent seek forgiveness and refuse the demonic drugs of today...we trying we doing
March 24 2021 I celebrated 14 years and I Said I wanted to take myself and the kids to the beach for the weekend well a friend I was taking to help me with my son who is disabled ,the first thing he says is yeah I’ll go with you maybe we can sit by the beach and drink wine coolers I said I don’t need to go to one of my favorite places and spoil it by drinking after14years and I stood firm on that well that evening for some reason I thought about wine coolers hmmmm, and just as quick I reminded myself that one of anything that could have an effect on me will lead me back to where I left off 14 years ago and quickly I played the whole tape that one is never enough for this recovering addict and I’m always reminded by my other sober/recovering friends and sponsor and sponsees that if I don’t pick it up, I won’t get high my email is whiteshawhite@gmail.com if you ever thought that you could stay clean alone that is another trick your mind plays on you, be safe and stay away from the first one, Shonda
i think even the Bad guys or beyond bad guys understand this and use this meth-od too.
I'm sorry, but I had a horrific childhood that actually suppressed my innate potential to the point of lifelong emotional disability, even becoming homeless due to an impaired functioning ability. And through all of this I never had any drug or alcohol problems. Trauma leads to addiction only if the individual allows it to do so. I am now on the verge of homeownership.
Clean for 4 days from opiates. Longest I’ve managed in 2 years of my habit. It made me forget all my trauma until it wasn’t enough. Really excited to feel genuine happiness in sobriety, I just hope it’s one day soon. I needed to hear this video today. ❤️
Look up,song by Haystak called my first day. I don’t like rap but that song is what you need to hear trust me
Cool ☺ i hope you're still on that clean road
So glad to hear it . I have come to accept that I am a work in progress and try and learn from my trials and tribulations . Be patient with yourself
Stay strong, you are unique to this earth, one of a kind, and deserving of love and great things.
I am just now seeing this post. How is it going?
I'm a veteran, was actually addicted to alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
YES sure of mycologist Predroshrooms. Mushrooms literally got me off my feet and turned my whole life around. I am currently a housing manager for a recovery program. I wouldn't have been able to do that shit without psilocybin.
Thanks for sharing your story. That's rough I sympathize. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health. I will pray for you all.
Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google
This man is very intelligent, very articulate, very thoughtful. His ideas flow in such a natural manner that he gets his points across effortlessly.
Well said!
This is the wisdom that flows from compassion
@@incorruptibleword4513 And from his actual experience with countless individuals caught in this cycle.
💯💯💯💯
@Daniel Alexander Could you explain that. Not sure what you mean.
17 years in recovery. I've found that I've spent the entirety of my recovery unlearning everything I learned about myself as a child. I totally relate to your assessment of addiction.
Excellent to read Claus!
You have a strong mind
My experience also Claus.
Right on Brother...
Did your addiction come from emotional trauma ?
As an ex-addict myself I honestly have to say that I see myself in what he is saying. I feel like he knew better why I chose that path than myself at the time. More people need to see this.
Does anyone also get high bc that is the only way they can talk about the bad feelings? It isnt only an escape?
I am an ex addict and now an AOD worker, and learning all about illicit drugs and addiction - it taught me so much about myself and why I used in the first place!
This video makes so much sense!!! Everybody needs to hear this!!!
This guy is brilliant!!!
@@thesoliloquist1940 Yes, its all relative to the individual. Some use addictions to forget, others use them to remember.
You’re never an ex addict , you’re always an addict!!! You just learn how live with it , manage it so it doesn’t get out of hand!!
Yesterday I celebrated 8 years clean and sober. I have a great life. Not always easy though! Well done to everyone who made it and to those who haven't there is help if you seek it.
Today I celebrate approximately two years of controlling my lifestyle. People may hate on me for saying that because "control" is deemed impossible for most but I think it's a pretty f*cking big deal.
@@jared699 well done mate
Richard stein, how did you do it? please give advice
1:08 hit me hard. Addiction is a response of human suffering and that broke me. I am a recovering alcoholic and it is hard staying sober. I have dealt with so much in my life and alcohol was always there for me. Never judged me and never left me. That line will forever tug at my heart strings because I felt every word like a sharp knife. I have gotten better control of my drinking. I slip up from time to time and I am trying. I have been getting better and stronger. I have been staying sober for longer periods of time and I will someday get rid of this demon. If anyone is reading this, please keep fighting the good fight. Screw everyone for judging you, even for relapsing. I'll be rooting for whoever is trying to get sober because I am in this fight as well and I will die trying to be sober.
I hope you are in AA -- it is not about fighting the good fight It is about finding the relief of surrender & the strength in numbers. Wishing you all the best for 2022 - you will put this all behind you and onward ho!
Allan Watts, look it up
I’ve got 2.5 years clean and I was struggling today. I really appreciate your comment here.
@@Dapryor You are everything you need already my friend. You're okay.
Try a carnivore diet
Clean for 18 months...this hit me hard...for a moment I didn't feel like an entirely hopeless human being
You have been clean for 18 months. Be proud my friend 👍
Every day you don’t use is a miracle from God! He has a plan and purpose for you. Your story can help others out of a deep pit. Keep up the good work one day or one hour at a time! You’re special and loved!!
Thank you
I'm so very proud of you. Keep going one day at a time. You deserve every blessing you find.
21 months now, friend? Keep that shit up.
249 days clean
This man changed my life today and he helped me to understand My addiction
How are you?
The work this man puts into this world is a gift. As a psychotherapist I read a lot of theory but I’ve never heard anyone make sense of addiction with such deep wisdom. I have such deep gratitude for his teachings, personally and professionally.
I get teary listening to Dr Mate.His compassion and humility are remarkable.
Same.
as an recent addict entering recovery, having heard this video, now probably 6 times in the last 90 days, everytime I well up, because he NAILS it. I didn't even understand myself until I had watched this 10 minutes of video.
True❤️🙌🙏
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Nice moniker
He’s so compassionate. If only everyone had this much empathy for their fellow man .
People are to busy counting money and escaping reality they ain't got time for nothing else. Basically everyone is an addict. It's doesn't really matter if it's money, power, things, activities or drugs. It's as bad to waste your life watching TV as it is doing drugs or working in an office 60 hours a week. Balance is the one thing everyone should search for. There are two kinds of people. The ones who do to much drugs and the ones who don't do enough of the right ones ;-)
@@themaharishi8160 i learned from this comment as much as i learned from the video
@@aqanni This is where the internet comments section actually works! A great comment by TheMaharishi. They have hit the nail on the head. We are all addicted. This is something I learned coming through addiction myself and out the other side. As cheesy as this sounds, I have become addicted to actually living and loving my day, totally pure save a little vape machine I use and that will be removed this year.
I have compassion for those who actually try to overcome their addiction. But the ones that rob, kill, lie, do anything to get drugs I have no respect or sympathy for. They were horrible people before drugs and they're even worse on them. I know. I deal with addicts all the time at work. They treat me like shit, are rude, nasty, selfish people.
Unfortunately society will never change addicted 40 years amputation of right leg 3 wee brothers 2 çousins umpteen pals ALL DEAD "WE SAW THE NEEDLE, WE SAW THE ĎÀMAGE DONE..
“This is trench warfare” - “It is a response to human suffering” - “An attempt to escape suffering” “It is all about trauma” - This is deep. I agree completely. Thank you for sharing. 🙏🖤
A life with poetry...
Your name tells a whole story.
Addiction doesn't run in your family ..it runs in humans
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@@abekelly9935 it really doesn't.
As an addict in recovery, this is simply beautiful.
You’re not an addict . You’re a beautiful human being ❤
Yes I agree,and it's hard for an outsider to understand,this is good.
@@lisagagnon6712 You are so sweet. 🙏🏻 Thank you for your kind, precious words!
"The opposite of addiction is connection." Johann Hari
connection to what?
@@unwaveringwilli5391 "to meaningful work, other people, meaningful values, status and respect, the natural world"...
@Shane, Yes if you can get the person to co- oporate . I've been telling a dear person to me, who's using, that meetings would help, etc. But doesn't seem to want to budge. So very hard. I do a lot of Praying.
@@jessicastrong6006 He’s not saying it’s Another individual’s responsibility to bring someone back from addiction by trying to connect with them. I am in a chemical dependency counseling master’s program, and the quote he is referring to is a comment on the larger society. The work and social structure in industrialized countries leads to a lot of isolation for most people. He was just talking about how an an ideal culture would foster more of a sense of belonging and community. It’s not a call to people to be codependent. It is almost never one friend relative or a loved one’s responsibility when someone feels isolated. You sound like you are a concerned person who has given of yourself to try to make someone feel they are worth giving themselves a chance. The sad thing about addiction is those afflicted don’t always agree with you, or may not be able to see the problem, as others do. Another saying I’ve heard is, “Crazy people don’t know they’re crazy.” I do believe people are capable of regaining insight. It didn’t happen to me, though, until I was forced into a drug treatment or threatened with prison. I honestly don’t know if I would’ve ever checked in, myself. It’s extremely hard to have that insight when parisitic substances have hijacked the brain, and will argue with everybody and everything that comes between drugs and their host.
@@jessicastrong6006 That's one of the main components that makes addiction so insidious .... Because it insidiously reaches out way beyond just the user. It affects everybody close to the user specifically family and friends.
If it were as easy as that, drugs wouldn't be so all consumingly destructive.
The person in your life sounds to be the archetypal addict...They aren't just being stubborn or difficult ,despite how it seems to you.
A lot of people don't realise (or refuse to accept) that with drugs such as heroin and other opiates the addiction is also a physical dependence. .. Those incredibly painful and unpleasant withdrawal symptoms occur because the addicts body has physically adapted to the drug when used repeatedly.. Which is why there are withdrawals when the drug is not constantly present inside the body. The human brain literally mutates to depend on the drug.. That's only the physical side.. The majority of users will say that the PAWS (post acute withdrawals) are far worse than the initial withdrawal hence why staying clean is so difficult and the reason heroin alone has close to a 90% relapse rate! Because the brain and body isn't miraculously healed after a week of battling withdrawals. That's only the start. .. The psychological dependency will still exist within the brain because it hasn't gotten anywhere close to healing. PAWS last a long time.. typically anywhere between 6 months to 2 years but it's not uncommon they're present for up to a decade. ...
Those things are rarely known or acknowledged . ...so you get people who say things like "you only have to get through the physical withdrawals and you're done".... Nah.
So remember these things next time you feel like you are failing this person. Taking the inability to convince them to take steps to recovery as personal... It's addiction.....
It's why many addicts end up alone and completely estranged from family. Almost all have had at least one person if not entire family units at some point who like yourself offered love and support. But eventually for their own protection have had to cut all ties because the addict continues the cycle.
Keep praying. But stop thinking you or anybody but the addict themself can ultimately change that cycle.
"As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others."
-- Audrey Hepburn
and two ears for each side of the story
Audrey was a war time
refugee.
She suffered multiple trauma
Wow! Thank you for sharing, that's so powerful! Rest in love 😍 Audrey H ♥️🌌🙏💝
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This is why LOVE is the most important commandment. We need love each other not judge each other. May God bless everyone who is struggling ♥️ and everyone who is unsympathetic.
Thank you so much for this video. It has resonated with me to my core. I been struggling with a heroin addiction and I can’t figure out why I keep going back to it. I now understand I been carrying trauma I suffered as a little boy. I locked it away but in my late 30’s it came out and I started using. Drives me crazy because I have always hated drugs and now I became a slave. I am in tears right now and if I could just hold on.
You can get through this, but here is the tough reality that you will have to face. It will always be there, that is the addiction and to overcome it you will have to do the following.
1. Find another activity to replace it (working out, chess, sports, joining a club of sorts etc….)
2. Find a support group, people downplay this but it will open your eyes
3. Do it for someone and if there is no one and that is the case for some people, do it because you love yourself.
4. Because it only gets worse if you even do it once more.
Love you man!
You are not alone.
it is demonic isnt it ?
@@Anonymous-km5pj Many of those traumas must have been perpetrated by the insane. ONe still needs to face them.
First get to a treatment center to separate the body and clear the mind then with support and things to replace habits because they are just that a responsive habit that can be broken with work. With time you will be able to put the pieces of you back together and you will look back at how beautifully shattered you were and are no longer. Through experience I know you will get through this and you will keep the message going ❤😉
There is no cure for my addiction, for I am absolutely powerless over it. I can however not engage in my addictive behavior once I find serenity. The way to find serenity is to make the 12 steps a way of life. Once that happens I no longer want to engage in my addictive behavior. This is the means to address my early childhood traumas with out engaging in my addiction. 11 years sober this month !
Amazing!
Well done but let’s face it the 12 steps don’t work for everyone. Low % of success
Congratulations!!! ♥️
@@marks.6869 Agreed. They definitely help me but ultimately therapy and inner self work and a lot of other daily self care, digging into myself and other things is what has helped me stay clesn more than the steps ever has although it is a factor and positive thing in my life as well.
Congrats👍🙌
I have struggled with addiction since 2007 and after listening to this man I truly consider him a genius and the way that he's able to articulate WHAT addiction actually is and WHY it EXISTS in the first place is just mind-blowing. This truly is the best explanation of addiction I've ever heard.
So do i
Hi Angie :) I overcame a lifelong addiction and this is what I learned in the process. Peace.
Trauma is registered in the human soul. Emotional pain when triggered arises from deep in the soul causing one to flee mentally and emotionally in the other direction, outside of themselves. This running often leads to substance abuse or repeated negative behaviors as a way to deal with the emotionally powerful feelings and/or memories that chase us. How can one who runs from his/her own soul overcome or make peace with their past when it takes the full power of one's soul to be able to fully heal successfully? Obviously, we must confront and treat the trauma before we can expect the addict to be able to reaccess the power of their own soul and have the conscious strength and lasting determination to successfully end their addiction. There may be desire to heal but there's no power to heal in one who is subconsciously running from their past. Stop running, observe your soul, confront your problem, only then is healing from all symptoms even possible. The drug is the symptom and the often subconscious soul trauma is the cause.
[I'm speaking from personal experience but that doesn't make me right.]
Thats what my fiance said. I was kind of offended that he wanted me to watch. Bc addicts are not that uncommon. Why did I need to watch this for?
Him: bc he explains it in a way that no one else does. Me: _throwing my hands up like a drama queen_ so when I am nice, or in other words putting the "weight of the world"... on my shoulders, im still being unheard? Bc it seems like it. No cred.
I always knew or felt what it was, I was just never able to put it into words.
How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? The only common denominator between all addicts from any social background or distinction is that they are notorious liars. Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.
No matter what led them to this, they don’t want to be there.
And never realise they are a pest in society.
I like to get rid of these actual ' pests ' on youtube ! Ignorance is not bliss, its a reflection of YOU not anyone else that you chose to reflect it on to.
@@wakeandbakewithmaryjane1767 If they realised it they would change. That remains my opinion. If you like sddicts for neighbours etc it is your pleasure. Not mine! And don't worry, I do understand the intention of the video.
Be happy in your ignorance, no said you cant. You are clearly very happy in it. Carry on. I just wish we could get rid of you the same way. It means nothing to me, YOU are the minority not me. No need to explain your ignorance, I couldnt care less about it.
Triggered much ?
@My name is Tim, I'm a lesser known character Their purpose in life is to serve ignorance. They are still mad :D :D
Alcohol and cigarettes addiction actually destroyed my life. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my wife which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.
Can you help me with the reliable source. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Netherland. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
Yes benmycologys. Congrats! I'm really happy for you that your wife decided to help you. I always admire those who beat their addiction. Knowing it's possible to fix your life knowing there's people out there that have done what I thought was impossible gives me hope I will make it through as well. Those who share their experiences don't know how much it helps when you're about to give up, it gives you the strength knowing somone who actully know what it's like to go through this tell you it's possible, it's not the same somone telling you you can do it when they have no idea what it's like, but hearing somone who knows what it's like that helps a lot since you understand it firsthand and made it out gives so much hope. so thanks for sharing.
I Can say benmycologys is your guy
YES very sure of benmycologys
When your live in a state of fight or flight for so long, you don't even notice you're walking around in a state of fight or flight. Then your own behaviors and expectations compound your problems. The relief of "just one" or "just one more" becomes a necessity. And sometimes it literally is. Can't tell you how many times putting drugs in my system kept me from killing myself.
The great news is, you can overcome anxiety, you can overcome trauma, and you can overcome addiction/s.
There are plenty of tools and resources to guide you through, you just need the right ones to suit your situation.
When you are able to put even just this tiny distance between your true self and your behaviour, as you have here in this comment, then you are already positioned to win back your self and live your best life. What you can 'see' can be exposed and changed. Blessings and peace to you.🙏🏾
I recommend Tom bilyeu, Russel Brand and Jay shetty podcasts. We are what we are exposed to (books, videos, tv shows, people, etc) and when you have deep seated traumas, there is so much to learn from people who dedicate a lifetime at helping people like you. These podcast by these highly empathetic people who seek to interview great human beings are overflowing with powerful information on how to help yourself. You end up becoming your own savior.
What sucks though is eventually the very thing you feel is helping will become the very thing you hate. Idk, addiction & being an addict is such a complex thing. One thing I have learned though throughout my struggle is I’d rather be present in life feeling than to be half way there feeling nothing.
How are you doing now, Sheila?
This man gets it. Temporary escape from pain. You can recover, I have, and I was the guy that was Never gonna get clean!
✌😊❤
th-cam.com/video/Hl7H0PpLJu0/w-d-xo.html
Congratulations! It gives me hope. I hope you live a fantastic life :)
When people love themselves,
they control their existence.
When they don't love themselves, they self sabotage.
I was born into addiction and fight everyday to steer clear of those who don't love themselves.
It's easy enough to do...I haven't spoken to my mother for most of my life.
I love her, but I love myself more.
Love and blessing to all.
You got this
This has been so hard for me. For a long time, I’ve know that I don’t like my mom. No contact would be so liberating for me. My issue is the consequences that will come with it. I’m sure my whole family will hate me and take my moms side. I’ve been trying to tell them how emotionally abusive she’s been to me…the only responses I get are “give her a break, she’s doing the best she can” or “well it’s your fault because you don’t stand up to her.” No one ever takes my side. I suffer from addiction, but no one ever recognizes it as a result of my childhood trauma…but when my mom is mean, manipulative and a controlling bully…they all refer to her childhood trauma and say I need to focus on the good in her and not the bad. This is the result of being the family scapegoat and having siblings as the flying monkeys
@@KingMark33 I completely understand..
I haven't spoke to my mom since I was 38...
I'm 48 this year.
We can love someone from a distance. They never teach that.
You do what you heart wants....if everyone taking the abusers side, holds you there...I will pray for you.
I have been alone my while life...its ok to carry on and love yourself. You are worth it.
I love my mom and pray for her.
I have been doing the best...highly educated
Loving ,caring and respectful peropls...we become what we allow.
We all suffer from addictions..be an addict of something good...like education or work...this what I chose to be addicted 2.
GOD BLESS YOU!!!
Sit in the passenger and let God drive!!!!
Real shit
So true
@@KingMark33 That's a rough situation. In my family we all went no contact with our - and there is a solidarity and reassurance that comes from that. It's liberating, but in the early years there's some gnawing self doubt that later gave way to just ... not giving them another thought. But it's a difficult stand to make. Someone close to me is in a similar situation with their family as you are. What I would say, after 25 years knowing them and their difficult family situation, is that sometimes 'pretend contact' or safe-distance contact can be almost or maybe just as effective as 'no contact', just different. And keep you out of harms way of adverse attention, hostility and having those flying monkies set upon you. So that can involve staying far away. Making the absolute minimum contact, detaching and just keep to being polite, being busy with things more important to you. Aiming for something like the arms length professional distance you would keep from a difficult or bullying colleague at work. They'll still try to get the kicks in, via the siblings too. But if you aren't regularly immersed in it, it's not so deeply wounding that you can't shake it off. It's whatever you know deep down works best for you, in your individual situation. Any decision along whatever lines works for you could be liberating. If you make a very deliberate conscious choice based on how you feel about it all. Maybe talk it all through with someone you trust, or find someone you trust and then puzzle it out? It's a big topic.
There is a large segment of society that sadistically views addiction as an opportunity to inflict misery on the afflicted. That is undeniable.
Addiction is about escaping suffering but there is another form of suffering unrelated to the suffering from a traumatic past. This is the suffering of the now. The accumulated every day moments that drive a person into madness. In my opinion it is a mistake to think addiction is only caused by past trauma. Thinking that way can miss the Elephant in the room. I see more people using "addiction" to escape the now than I do to escape the past. It is also important to not think addiction is only about drugs. Almost anything can be used as an addiction. Addiction is an attachment to something to cope with suffering. To escape suffering. A healthy relationship too suffering (pain) eliminates addiction.
I agree with you. I know some seek substances or experiences simply because they trigger the pleasure center of the brain and it feels good. Then they seek it out and don't function as an adult. These people do not particularly have trauma.
I agree with you Katherine,I didn't have any significant trauma in childhood in fact no trauma at all,I was however unhappy in my teens and didn't feel as though I fitted in. Then I found cannabis which opened up a new world and a whole lot of new associates though that is all they were. Looking back on that pot use it was non stop and full of addiction red flags. In recent years most of my use has been to stem the memories of things that I have done during my addiction along with boredom.i am now just under one year clean from any mind altering substance and I've never been happier!
Yesterday or a second ago is just as much the past as 10 or 20 years ago is
Katherine Kelly indeed. And chronic pain. It ruins ones life, the medicating becomes the only option 4 escape.
Absolutely I've been married to my husband for 15 years, 10 of those years he would cycle in and out of addiction and I didn't get it I never had used. My story in a nutshell. He went to prison for unrelated offenses for 2 years, I broke my foot my doctor gave me a huge unnecessary prescription of opiates and the rest is history... I am now a recovering heroin addict for not addressing the trauma of now. I try not to use the word "never" and I do my best not to be judgmental, I was humbled to say the least! right off my high horse.
He definitely sums up addiction well! Good video! Since 1973 I’ve always been addicted to something. Finally at the age of 62 I can say I’ve been clean for just over five years.
I had a food addiction for 2 in my late teens.. it disppeared when I met my husband.he was kind and loving.
I’m developing a good addiction from doing Uber eats so much since the pandemic #help 😩
I don't know how many times I have said the same words and yet no one listens. So sad bc people can heal themselves first emotionally and the addictions can be easier to over come. My heart breaks for these souls. Thank you Dr. Mate. Bless you
I listened.
At first, addiction is maintained by pleasure. But the intensity of this pleasure gradually diminishes and the addiction is then maintained by the avoidance of pain.
Thus, a choice.
th-cam.com/video/Hl7H0PpLJu0/w-d-xo.html
Not true for all cases people turn to drugs to relieve pain I know because I have experienced this people like u who think u know it all and blurt out stuff u have no experience in kill me and one of the reasons why I was in pain lack of understanding hurts like u will never know to put it in perspective I hate u made this comment so much if I could I would find u and end u but bcuz of the law I won’t please only speak positivity or on things u know or u will end up speaking to the wrong person
@@kryssym1460 Moron, pleasure includes relief from pain. smh
@@Stall-FedCalves Just saying its maintained by pleasure insinuates that its merely some hedonistic and gluttonous behavior though atleast to someone who only ever got into drugs because i couldn't handle the world around me.
Not saying thats what he was trying to say at all but i could see how someone could interpret it that way.
We need more love and compassion in this world.
It's hard to have compassion for a POS addict who robbed you, or hurt you, or is just a scumbag. Not saying all addicts are like this but the ones I have encountered don't deserve compassion from me.
@@demonprincess2045 That is their automatic response to get what they need to cope with their suffering.
@@ThorOdinson1269 Sounds like an excuse, having an addiction doesn't automatically turn you to thievery and violence. Those people still need help if they are even willing to take it, but doesn't mean those actions can simply be excused.
@@brotherman1 It's not an excuse, it's a reason. It's a result of addiction. It's literally the equivalent to a stab wound making you bleed. Just stop bleeding? It's obviously still a shit thing to do, but people do bad things due to bad things happening to them. And not showing compassion because you were emotionally affected by someone else's emotional pain is not the way to go man.
We need a society that supports peoples basic needs, that's the "cure"
i have healed myself from trauma that began before i was born. NO ONE knows you as well as you know yourself. listen to yourself and heal
Would you mind sharing how you went about it?
@@YellowIcicle it began by listening to life, and all things that were happening to me, being alone and no matter what i listened to myself and tried to understand my choices, why i made them, what i could learn. for 3 years i used meth every day and because i chose not to beat myself up anymore over my choices it freed me up to learn from it. i learned forgiveness for my birth mother and my adopted mother from my cat that got lost and then came back.. there is so much more. i did it on my own and then discovered Gabor Mate on accident and then i realized i had figured out his theory on myself and used his methods on myself without even knowing about them. i am 56 years old and for the very first time in my life i love myself and am figuring the way out from addiction and depression with only a GED, youtube and an open mind. i am truly thankful and want to share.
@@angiemmorris1978 could you tell me more on how you did it
@@egyjuice I will try...first I really listened to my own story. I took my time and started to identify my feelings, why i had them, how I felt about my family, how I was treated, how I related to the world, the circumstances that brought me into the world, figured out missing pieces, started paying attention to the things life was showing and telling me...i am trying to get in touch with dr mate i am a walking, talking example of his theories and methods and i did it on my own. i have so much more i want to say but I get overwhelmed with it all and can't find the words i need. however they are coming, the universe is smoothing things out and doors will open and I will be able to share. no one needs to suffer because of lack. we all have exactly what we need inside ourselves to heal. we just have to relearn how to listen and understand our own unique self that no-one else on earth can know, i am seriously wanting to do a youtube channel about stuff like this, if i can help anyone from suffering even for just 5 minutes its a win for me''
@@angiemmorris1978 Truly wonderful! Having this much strength is a true power. Good for you!
I don't think you can come out of a dysfunctional family that may have trauma, abuse neglect or all of them and not be an addict of some sort. It is the core of addiction and other issues like Dr. Mate said. I use to think only drugs and alcohol qualified but now I know it could be anything. Trying to fill the hole in the soul with something outside of us. Dr. Mate is on point completely.
To be honest, I don't agree with some of his statements.
Addiction is not only caused by Deficenies or suffering.
It's also caused by extremes.
You can see many spoiled brats getting addicted to videogames as a child and party drugs as a teen. You can see people whose very happy and comfortable get addicted to alcohol, they use it not to alleviate their pain, but just for mere enjoyment.
@@UN1VERS3S wrong
💯
@@UN1VERS3S you think just because they are "happy and comfortable" that they are not still searching for something to fill that hole, using something over and over but "just for enjoyment" qualifies as addiction bro.... we look to that one thing to make us feel good until thats the only thing we can look at, thats how addiction works.
I agree with you that hole could be anything. In my case that would be binge eating or tending to be anorexic.
Well explained. Even if we re not addicts as such, we all engage in numbing, distracting and compulsive behavious to distract ourselves from 'problems we have no other solutions for'
Here’s another one I think you’ll like- check it out!!
th-cam.com/video/07JjBk8q5Gg/w-d-xo.html
Yes!
"Even if we re not addicts as such, we all engage in"... thats the difference between an addiction as a medical disorder and a bad mood imho.
"Addiction is an attempt to escape suffering, temporarily." Wow, one of the best quotes I've ever heard.
I pray good health & healing for everyone who’s see’s this & everyone who is truly good.
I'm more of a chaotic neutral.
Only if they're actually good though right?
Isabella, I'm afraid God doesn't exist, nor Satan, not Mahoma, not Jesus Christ, not Budha, not Zaratustra, etc... 'em are all LIES per se to control Population. The Empowered People are very interested in entertaining us (The Forgoten), cause if they don't do it them would be exposed to our power (Spiritual Power), cause God you are and it's inside you. You have all the answers to yourself and you just have to Genuin Trust Yourself.
I'll leave you something would make U not to pray anymore, cause if U Whant To Change Something:"Just Do It"
New Order -- True Faith
I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
I don't care 'cause I'm not there
And I don't care if I'm here tomorrow
Again and again I've taken too much
Of the things that cost you too much
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun
When I was a very small boy
Very small boys talked to me
Now that we've grown up together
They're afraid of what they see
That's the price that we all pay
And the value of destiny comes to nothing
I can't tell you where we're going
I guess there was just no way of knowing
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun
I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
The chances are we've gone too far
You took my time and you took my money
Now I fear you've left me standing
In a world that's so demanding
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun
End
Well, there's another way too:"If You Whant To Change Something, Change Yourself"
Thanks for reading if you have done it, and if you haven't doesn't matter.
Peace, Love and Anarchy (Notice that Peace and Love are before Anarchy) One Love One Heart 🙌❤✌😉
As I said before:"You Have All The Answers To Yourself ". Definetly I'm not an Oracle. But I'm afraid God does not exist cause I've been searching Him or Her for so long, and due to all this Hell I've lived He or She, in case that's the answer, might have appeared and they didn't. I believe in Love, Kindness, Empathy, Peace (Real One), and all this qualities Human Kind has and he's lost... That could be an answer?
I'm an addict..I wish there wasn't so much stigma around addiction,and that there were more like Gabor that had compassion,empathy, understanding for addicts...ask not why the addiction,but why the pain...❤️💯💯🙏
Excellent take away!♥️🙏🏻✨
So good - this should be a question all clinicians should ask, “not why the addiction, why the pain.” Thankyou
The response society takes just perpetuates the behaviour. Perpetuates the your not worthy, shame, less than. How can people not see this?
I'm an alcoholic and this speech hit so hard, so very true
Yep. I couldn't maintain sobriety without facing the traumas I endured. 3 years into my sobriety and bam! The night terrors and hallucinations started - ptsd. I found a therapist who also happened to be sober so she understood the value of my sobriety. She was also a gifted therapist and asked me all the right questions. That was 33 years ago. I'll be forever grateful. I've seen many fellows go back out because no one understood they needed help with trauma :( Been a fan of Dr. Mate now for years. He's supposed to release a documentary, soon.
You’re honesty is inspiring to see. I hope you can stay safe 🙏🏻
You cant diagnose yourself
@@jenwendy7 been sober going on six years. I’ve told a few people I swear I haven’t had a good nights sleep in about five years. Night mares almost every time I drift off. Can’t really stay asleep longer than two or three hours. But even tho there’s all that, I still feel stronger emotionally and physically than I ever have.
My mate is an alcoholic. He is anorexic now because he cant hold down food. Hes in pain everyday. It doesnt look like he is going to get better. He has liver damage and i think kidney damage too. My problem is weed. I am having a hard time stopping smoking weed. I enjoy it but it stinks and makes me poor
How I've seen it since high school is: "It doesn't matter how we label it- choice, disease, or otherwise- because that doesn't get people the help they need." I hadn't put together the response to trauma part. This was eye opening.
"This is the real secret of life -- to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play."
-- Alan Watts
Wow that is awesome statement
Nothing to do with what's being discussed in the video whatsoever. You just craving the feels of grandiosity by using some "wise person's words" randomly in a YT comment.
@Sheila Mchgee Just sayin'... 🤣😘
@@Ucho469 I agree, was a little confused on this 1.
Well said.....Alan Watts.
Thanks Question Everything? :)
I quit drinking after decades, within a year of starting trauma therapy, on my own & w/o AA. I lost my son 3 years ago, suddenly and it did provoke trauma response but there was no temptation to self-medicate. We need more professionals & resources for mental health, I don't know anyone who grows up saying that they are going to grow up to be an addict. Dr Gabor Mate', whom I've met, is a quiet hero amongst a world in denial. Thank you Dr. ❤️🔥
AA has roughly a 10% success rate. I'm absolutely convinced the reason for such a low success rate is because childhood trauma is not a main focus.
Pain is and always will be the underlying factor in Addiction..
Yes and avoiding that pain leads to even more pain .. it is tough
But not an excuse. We need to stay strong
Realization of what caused the pain, to Accept the past and to accept one self, is a start.
It's a vicious cycle. I dont want it. The pain. But I think im a sucker and love the hurt.
Not really, how many kids are out at parties and someone pulls out some hardcore drugs and they accidentally get addicted to it? Pain played no role here only stupidity. Its very possible to get addicted to certain drugs the first time you try it.
Finally, someone who knows that addiction is not a disease! I’ve faced addiction 3 times with 3 different drugs and beat it with zero professional help. A new approach must be taken and this Doctor is on the right path. God bless you sir!
"3 times with 3 different drugs ". Did you manufacture these drugs, or did you get a 'script from a professional? Be honest with yourself, you DID receive professional help.
@Nexter5722 I disagree....for me it was very difficult...I functioned very well, worked in a professional field and used heroin on weekends or between jobs (I worked mostly big projects as a surveyor) ....I had the good fortune to overdose at 17 in 1968, with the better fortune to have a couple older friends who saved my life....but I was cautious after that, and equally worried about hepatitis so was as safe as possible. I was at the upper end of the user portion of the continuum of use- abuse.-addiction It was much later in life, during the economic downturn of the early 90s and back in university in a Social Work program that I was actually first diagnosed with PTSD....the journey in PTSD treatment then a growing understanding of Complex PTSD has the effect of eliminating the desire for pain numbing drugs. Since then I have worked with a lot of people who had addiction as part of their issues, and virtually all of them had been exposed to childhood trauma .
th-cam.com/video/Hl7H0PpLJu0/w-d-xo.html
You beat it once
What drugs? Using needles? Smoking K2 is not the same as shooting cocaine and heroin. You sound like the same people that say "oh pick yourself up just stop"
"We can guide people to healing, if we ask the right questions"
The question is why are people sick in the first place. What is the cause?
@@ruslannabiev2399 It all starts with the first impact of huge emotional pain. When it's too much to comprehend. Emotional pain is common, but when it's too much as a kid...might be the start of it all in my opinion. A spiral in a cycle of confusion
@@ruslannabiev2399 50 years of wage stagnation. The media itself, full of occult themes, is actually trapping us in depression.
I totally agree
What about people who just “tried” drugs like herion for example then became addicted. This happens and then they steal to feed the habit and hurt other people. This isn’t right or fair on others. Yes pain is most likely, very likely to be the main purpose to get away from a hurt past but for many others it’s been being with the wrong people and experimenting. Pain or other issues can then be used as an excuse this I believe.
I lost my mom at 15 to lung cancer after that my dad started really hitting the bottle hard. I became his sometimes literal punching bag until he passed away oct 1st 2018 at 57 from a heart attack I was 21. My family from my grandfather 2 uncles and two aunts on my dads side are all alcoholics. The only way we know how to deal with pain is substance abuse. After my father died I really started to lose it I lacked guidance and the only two people who really gave me that guidance were no longer on this earth. I slowly delved deeper and deeper into cocaine and alchohol until I was starting to lose control then me and my little sister sold the family home she moved on with a boyfriend and went to therapy i moved into my friends house with 425k in my pocket and made cocaine my best friend. Needless to say I blew most of that money on cocaine gambling women and booze. Anything to just make me not feel. I’m a lil over a month out of rehab and have had 2 lapses already. I’m not ashamed tho I’m proud that I’m fighting to live and I’ve given up trying to die. Life is not easy or fair but it is worth it. It’s time to break the cycle much love, Cale.
I love what you said, life may be hard and not fear but is so worth it. I deal with alcohol abuse and the pain I feel sometimes is just unbearable but I am not ready to give up. We can do it!!
How much did your dad or mom smoke?
Asking this because-of concern of lung cancer
Im 23 tears old , smoker for 3 years and smoke about 20 cigarettes daily
@@marceNJ27 ❤
I read you and I feel you , I hope you're doing well
Thank you for your story. Keep fighting.
Addiction is not the problem, it's a solution to the problem. Thank you Dr. Mate..
I battle addictions, and to anyone else out there finding it hard, keep it up, you’ve made it this far already 💯
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This is an excellent summary of addiction. I have battled addiction for most of my adult life and I think it is important to stress that feeling emotional pain is not about focusing on past trauma, but is often felt by involuntary response within ones own nervous system when challenging situations arise in everyday life. As the author said addicts do not typically possess the tools to cope with certain emotions because they were never taught to do so as a child. The vicious circle of addicts being treated as criminals and sub human is a complete failure of society to recognise that addicts are victims and deserve our help and support. The costs involved in adopting such an approach means it is more convenient for politicians and society at large to dismiss addicts as being bad people.
This video is amazing. My dad is an addict and throughout my childhood I always thought that he CHOSE drugs over my siblings and I, I now realise it wasn't that black and white, he self-soothed in hopes of healing his traumatic childhood and unfortunatley unded up with a severe drug addiction. This video has changed my whole perspective, I now understand my Dad and why he is the way he is and I have the upmost love and compassion towards him. Thank you!
How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? The only common denominator between all addicts from any social background or distinction is that they are notorious liars. Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.
i might know why. I similarly choose drugs over my dog sometimes (my dog is my only reason to live), the more i love my dog, the more it makes me realize that i was never loved. its a paradox loop. if your dad is like me, his love for you might be the reason he chose drugs. the more he loved you, the more trauma he got from realizing he was never loved. if he is like me, he is honest, merciful, and not strict. he makes you feel good and gives advice instead of punishment. he easily changes his mind based on your opinions. i hope im right.
One thing I try to keep in mind with my parents is they didn't have the mental health resources medications and it was something that a lot of people kept things hush hush because it's frowned apon.
Unfortunately they are cut off as a child I understand and as a mother I learned my lessons and I will no longer come back three months later and make up it's not happening that is the same things went too far when you put my son in your house with drugs in it when I asked you if you are using please let me know I'll stay somewhere else she said you know I'm not doing anything you and my grandson I staying here will guess what surprise she was using methamphetamine I know my look in my eyes when I found out the look I never done before my 28 years from that day all she's dead to me
The way he said "well, okay," is the most understanding tone I've ever heard
He is a Master of Compassion. 💓
It saddens me how truly these human beings with addiction are so harshly judged by society. Really disgusting honestly. Thank you for this factual and informative video.
It's very hard , I was repeaditly raped as a child by a neighbour, there were also troubles at home with drink and fighting n abuse... I was in a very abusive relationship... I'm 46 now and i have to admit an alcoholic n addicted to prescribed medication.... I've had friends just screaming at me and saying they'll end the friendship if I don't GET MYSELF TOGETHER... even family telling me I'm useless.. it makes me feel worse so I'll drink to numb how horrible I am... I don't want to be this way
As I grow older, I stopped thinking it’s our intelligence, or education, or the amount of money we have that makes us unique and different from each other it’s our experiences. those experiences dictate how we think, how we love, how we react to stress, and eventually how we choose to leave this world.
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Yeah it sucks. Luckily, in my experience, at least, the stigma has been lessening, even if ever so slightly. I'm 24 now, and compared to when I first entered a treatment facility at age 17, even the professionals have begun to rethink their approach and the words they say. I won't lie and say I don't still hear people saying ignorant stuff, but in the last five years I've definitely seen a decrease in it. Something I'm really grateful for is how people have started to accept that addiction is a disease. Not everyone, but in the last year alone I've had people come up to me and apologize for saying things like "addicts are just bad people that choose to make bad decisions," and so on. I think the only way we're ever going to fix the drug epidemic is by learning to accept what's happening and by realizing that once an addict doesn't have to mean always an addict.
@@vannah12222 Addiction has spiritual roots. It’s a matter of through trauma fragmenting & demons gaining access. Check out my Deliverance/Healing/Integration playlist. I’m always adding to it.
I'm almost completely surrounded by smokers. People are constantly asking me for cigarettes. I've never smoked ever in my whole life. This explains a lot. Thank you.
‘Addiction is not a disease. Dis-ease is the presence of some ‘thing.’ Addiction is the ABSENCE of everything.’ Good luck.
Addiction is a disease in the sense that the brain goes through dysfunctional processes (releasing neurotransmitters in certain circuits) that make it understandable why it's easy to do it again and again and why it's difficult to stop. Even after the original trauma is resolved, the addiction has to be addressed separately because there is a biological component that is maintained even though the original addictive behavior is triggered by psychological pain.
@@Tamarahope77 the problem though isn't just the initial trauma. that in itself creates it's own demons in later life(in my case) which are debilitating to this day.
Nonsense.
Well said thanks
We tend to numb the pain with drugs, too much unhealthy food, alcohol, sex, gambling, porn, etc. But it’s in the pain that lies our best transformation ever! Your worst times can become your best times. Don’t numb the pain, use it as fuel instead 🔥🔥🔥. Much love and success to all of you. ❤️❤️❤️
Great Advice. Peace and Love to you and yours as well.
@@forexdaver It’s awesome to hear that, thanks a lot! 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
100% true but in the eye of the storm, how do you see the silver lining?
@@mou7866 a good start, in my opinion, is to open up about the pain or the addiction with supportive people, with those we have a great connection with. To feel understood and surrounded by those who care about us really decreases the emotional discomfort and is one of the best 1st steps we can make towards recovery.
“Dont numb the pain” enables you to move through it .. good quote
Thank you for explanating addictions. I am an addict. No one knows my pain. How hurt I feel every day every moment of the day. I am alone. No one has yet noticed how I am functioning as a normal person. But I know I must change. Thanks once again for the enlightenment.
I understand....I pray somehow you find peace. Sometimes it’s easier said then done. You are stronger than you realize ❤️
I'm right there with you. Just a hollow shell going through the motions day after day working so I can have enough to pay rent and not get sick. Terrible.
I dont get paid for another 12 hours and I'm terribly sick right now. Its awful how we do this to ourselves
You are loved and you are seen, trust me: GOD SEES YOU AND EVERYONE WHO CAN SEE GOD SEES YOU. Isn’t that the utmost compliment?!
I relapsed recently after an extremely traumatic experience. This is so so accurate, made me cry. I love how brilliant he is, no judgement.
“A response to human suffering” maybe the best way I have ever heard it put in my entire life
*_ACCEPT JESUS CHRIST INTO YOUR LIFE, JEREMY._*
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is dr.porass.
Addiction is the outward physical expression of inner pain and turmoil.
Amen!!
Not always. I didn't turn to drugs because of a trauma or bad childhood but it certainly became a crutch as I got older and experienced sadness and loss
@@deltahomicide9300 I said nothing about trauma or bad childhood, although they can lead to addiction. Inner pain and turmoil or similar if not synonymous with sadness and loss.
@@okthennone Oh okay. Well allow me to clarify where I'm coming from.
I saw addictive substances for what they are. No matter where I came from or what I've been thru - I got addicted thru enough usage and time. That's the nature of addictive substances. One day I did it to have a good time / forget, and before I knew it I became an an addict. Still it's a cop out to say Everyone gets hooked bc they're trying to fill a hole, a spiritual need. No. I kept feeding the habit until it became a chemical dependency. I don't need to seek therapy or medical treatment.
I quit or cut down on my own. My whole thing is I fly solo and stay sober, and other addicts can do the same. I know this is sacrilege in many formal programs - the idea that we can quit on our own with no formal support network or medical treatments. Well I'm here to say not only did I quit, but once in a while I can still drink or get high. It's not a relapse either. I simply have my priorities in order
No, it isn't.
I’m blown away each time I hear Gabor speak.
Finally an explanation I agree with. Addiction is a response to suffering. It is a simple as that. What we all have is a broken heart, and we find what we find to help manage that broken heart.
This has been a theory of mine. First time I've heard anything like this!!!!
Rehab to me is useless for me personally. Never been. Never will.
Interventions? Worst idea EVER. The addict goes to treatment for wrong reason. Can't be for your kids, spouse,fam, etc. Has to b 4 you
I have seen more in my 40 yrs that no human being should have to endure. So I decided this is the reason for addiction, if you get to the core of the trauma, relapse chance is slim. But I have decided that I'm going to be a substance abuse counselor. Bc there is literally nothing a person can walk in and tell me that ive not experienced
May sound far fetched. But I think of everything. I tell myself I've been through all these years of pure hell, abuse, trauma, everything, so I can relate to anyone that will come in my office to see me. That's my purpose. I've been through hell so I could ease others away from passing through it's threshold. I have extreme childhood trauma. As well as the rest of my life until now. I have lost over 25 FRIENDS to the opiate epidemic. I don't want a spot on that list . God bless everyone. Keep ur heads up. Don't be ashamed of WHO YOU ARE. Be ashamed of decisions and actions. Life didn't get this bad overnight....... Gonna take more than overnight to clean up ur mess. Start by literally making a list of everything u need to do. Starting with easiest to the hardest. Work ur way from top to bottom. After a few things work out easily, ur whole attitude will change. Bc u now know little things we take for granted are things that can help us more than we think.......... Working on med ins bc unfortunately I'll need replacement therapy for a bit. Suboxone works if you let it honestly. Then I found out I only have 4 tickets to pay to get license back. There were 8 or 9.....
Health/sobriety
Mend relationships
License
GED
Loan for classes/Enroll College
Small HUD loan so I don't ever have to live this way again.....
I'm excited for the first time in a very long time.....
Sorry for the novel. But I felt compared to share.
Good luck to anyone and everyone with whatever journey ur on. Even the ppl that think being 5,6 or even 7 days clean is nothing......
Its a hell of a start loves 💜
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I believe there is hope for me then.
I recently had a deep conversation about addiction arriving at the conclusion that there has to be another angle that we aren't seeing outside of the two predominant modes of thought. Thank you for this. This is a solid alternative explanation.
Extra phone, my best wishes that you achieve your goal of becoming a counsellor. The wounded healer is always the best healer.
God bless you on your journey-
Suboxone worked for me, miracle drug.
That was the best description of addiction I’ve ever heard . This guy gets it.
Addiction is from so many things...emotional abandonment, suppressing familial stress from parental alcoholism and illness. Covering up the pain in whatever way that soothes...whether nail biting, shopping, smoking pot, over exercising and sexing, fixing others, but not self are all ways we can anesthesize suppressed feelings and deny our need to self reflect on the destruction our negative habit patterns that run our lives. Cultivating self love is the answer and for many a life long process to finally get that inner boundaries count aligned with the integrity of our word, that we are worthy of the good, the beautiful and the true, that we have value and can finally love both ourselves and others without Co dependency and dysfunctional mirroring of our unprocessed wounds. Living a Spiritual life of surrender in the constant becoming...has led me to my inner prayer. " Thank you God for Me, Because of You, I AM! Journey Well!
I remember my friend's response to my having told her I had tried cocaine when I was in my early 20's.
"You're lucky you didn't get addicted" she said. "No chance of that. I wasn't emotionally dependent upon it" I replied. I was an addict, cocaine just wasn't my "drug" of choice.
Stunned by my response she reacted with "you know, all the years I'd been in AA, no one ever brought up the emotional part of addiction".
Just from my own experience I always knew there was an emotional element to why people become addicted to some substances/activities, yet not others. The abscence of genuine love and all it contains (peace, acceptance, value, joy, dignity), drives you to seek out relief for the trauma you endure.
The right questions, at the right time, and in the right manner - can be life-transforming!
Well stated. This is my current experience. What my therapist says. I relapsed on pills after 14 years. But I still never drank … Until I did! We all have a story and mine was neglect and rejection. Can’t believe I haven’t “mastered” my past yet. I don’t even get the connection but I believe what my therapist says about my brain storing past pains … way in the back. Hope to connect it all one day. But even if I don’t, I pray God relieves of the bondage of myself 🙏
@@lisadixon6617 I pray for that for you, too. Thank you for sharing this with me.
This bought tears to my eyes because it is so true. A person that has been thru this is not understood and the pain you feel and the shame you feel is hard to escape so you find a way...
I look for a way every day just to make it w/ out the pain... then after awhile or years you realize you’re addicted and try to remember why you started or what pain
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Absolutely. No one does 'wrong' in their right mind. I've noted that way too many's suffering was from past traumas which the street drugs are a temporary outlet to escape.....which is addictive. Emotional traumas (sexual abuse is a very HUGE part of emotional/physical/psychological traumas) which are painful in many ways...then the gaslighting, ie blaming the child...stealing their self esteem/worth...etc., the degrading the child's id....making them ashamed of themselves & more. This speaker knows exactly what he's talking about. Then, also, abusers band against the child which gives the victim a fully gossiped degrading tortue of lies that are overwhelming, hence way too often they just 'give up' as hope, aspirations were stolen from them by the lies/cons/various abuses by the guilty. Unless a 'counselor' has lived thru abuses they'll never understand.....no matter their degees!! Which is another reason too many sufferers don't get assistance. It's much easier to blame the victim & prescribed pills are not the answer either. Hugs go a very long way in a compassionate attitude towards lifting a victim out of their hell by stepping outside yourself...listen, hear & feel their pain to even get a small grip of their suffering. "Never look down upon another unless you are looking for their hand to raise them up....even if that is above yourself!" I know!....my father was a pedophile (a narcsisstics killer & more), starting on me b4 I could crawl as a baby. No, I didn't do drugs BUT I didn't start to live/heal til I was 72 yrs, 1 mo. & 4 days old....a life wasted! I made poor choices in settling for less as I felt so unworthy of anything better. 2 things my father said to me as a teen (among decades of other degration by him & my relatives), that still haunts my mind: "no decent man will ever want you....you are damaged goods"......&, "your mother told me she was sexually abused as a child....but....I forgave her for that." Any degreed counselor should not talk with any sexually abused victim UNLESS they've a trained survivor with them to assist them in comprehension, unless they have survived such cruelties personally....otherwise you'll never get it & will not be able to help. No one, truly, does 'wrong' in their right mind (emotionally).....unless you're narcsisstic, which is a whole 'nother issue. HUGS2U
Well I'm 63 and I feel what you are saying. My shits to long to go into I just want to go out this life substance free .its about time someone with his compassion explains the depth of childhood abuse. I will write a book on surviving my outrageously abusive childhood into my adulthood as it's been suggested by everyone who knows my past. But first I have to be d and a free. My prayers to all suffering in any form.
This is the most honest video I have ever seen about addiction some people don't even realize that they've been traumatized because it's buried so deep. The saddest thing in our universe is that we have spirits locked up in prison because of their addiction
this is so heartbreaking that we punish people for their pain. may everyone heal rather than adjust.
Dr Gabor Maté it's one of the most intelligent psychologists I've ever seen. Absolutely astonishing
Defo up there
Jordan Peterson?
@@user-yn2ct2ie9m Jordan Peterson is a genius, but he struggled bad with benzos. Also, find Gabor Mate's talk about him
Except he's not a psychologist, though, he's a physician that understands and treats traumatized humans better than most psychologists.
And frequently wrong. He has never offered an example a person he or anyone else has healed the trauma and went on to be substance free. Especially CONTROLLED DRINKING.
Wow. Amazing. I’m addicted to hiking & summiting mountains now.
When I was lost I used, when I found myself I started walking away.
14 years I've struggled to answering the question, myself.
I am blown away with how easily they put it in words.
I've long thought that we spend a good part of our lives recovering from our childhood. I was sexually abused by an uncle until the age of 11. I buried the memories so successfully that when I started to have flashbacks in my 40's I was shocked. When I finally let the pieces of the puzzle fall into place in therapy, everything made sense. The relationships I chose, the drinking, the trust issues. My point being that there are a lot of us who are genuinely perplexed by our own behavior until the memories start to come back.
I am terribly sorry to hear about your childhood. I was also molested until about the same age.
Im 22 years old now and I finally realized what had happened to me at about 18ish. I was on lsd and told a friend.. god man,do you remember the first time you told someone? Didnt it feel like a weight off your chest? I remember crying so hard when i told my friend, that feeling was unmeasurable. Can you tell me about your break through or epiphany if you would? Im curious how you dealt with it and if youve recovered from these memories.
We are definitely a rare breed for having gone through that
@@zmoo3788 You didnt know you where molested until you where 18 how come?
@@josefcosta5269 Our brains and nervous systems are wired to dissociate us from experiences that are extremely horrible and painful in order for us to survive. The dissociation remains and blocks memories of the event. Even perpetrators can disassociate from their actions.
Most if not all perpetrators are traumatized people as well...and so the cycle goes.
@@savvybytes3748 So you mean some people dont know if they have been molested as kids because the brain has blocked it.... So how can some1 know if they hav been molested if the brain have blocked it? ...
@@josefcosta5269 very good question.
For me, I hit almost an epiphany. And it's not like you completely forget it happened, but you realize what happened was traumatic and you relive it when youre older(after becoming more intelligent) and realize it's wrong.
For example, I had blocked these memories until I talked to my friend about exposing our own secrets (we were 18 and it was a deep 5 am conversation). He told me a funny secret and I told him my molestation memories. When I told him, it sounded fucked up saying it outloud and when I saw his reaction, i cried like a baby. I realized everything that happened to me wasnt normal, I thought everyone faced difficult hardships like myself until I had this conversation with my friend. And when you remember these blocked memories, they come in a flurry, you relive it.
It was a huge break through for me, it's hard to explain but thats the most accurate way I can describe it
His perception is beautiful... This world needs more people like him ❤️
The more humans suffer the more they seek pleasures to compensate for it. When those pleasure consists of drugs, a vicious downwards spiral often begins
The solution is to reason the trauma out. Like how does one get counseling for this trauma.
Beautifully put
Agree .. when we have problems .. we need the strength to avoid turning towards a quick fix.. sometimes we need to feel those bad feelings simply to move through them
nowadays people seek leisure through video games lol
@@cautarepvp2079 Video games can be addictive.
This guy is beyond brilliant. He has a great mind. I only wish people like him would want to become leaders in this world and others were smart enough to start a movement in the right direction. However I feel too much of this world is already f***** to the point beyond help and others are too lazy to join in the fight. I thank you for this video and it has opened my eyes immensely. Keep publishing great work like this. You have the utmost respect from me and many others I'm sure. Thank you for sharing your work and research.
I fought addiction for many years, in and out of prison the whole nine yards. Sometime in my mid 40s I just lost my want to get high. I can't explain it or put my finger on it. I guess I just had enough. Now when a junkie asks me for money on the streets I dont judge them I give them money. I understand than even though it is killing them at least I can help them be well even if only for a moment. I have had so many friends die young, it is a sad way of life.
Happy for you !! Stay on course and God Bless
I do the same thing. I know so many who have recovered I figure if a few bucks helps them get through the day, then I'm all for that.
Stop giving them money to keep being a addict. Instant talk to them. Keep talking until they come back to reality and can laugh again
@@salometipsandtricks2786 stop giving them money won’t stop them...they’ll just turn to,stealing and robbing at gun point...which would you rather have??
Give them food or something to wear instead
The best thing you can give an addict is positive and fun social interaction... At least, if you want to help improve their lives.
This is beautifully made and so profound. I cried for about 75% of the clip!
What a wise and kind person is Gabor Mate, i live in Armenia and im an addict, they dont now how to help addicted youth here they just ruine peoples life, my goal is to translate this speech and try to help addicted people here and help myself!!! It is horrible to be an addict in a place like here no help whatsoever,im very very grateful to Gabor, unimaginable help, carried me through the darkest times, i wish everybody who reades this to get clean soon it is possible with the help of God and people like Gabor!!!!!
Forgiveness is the best way to win back life
YES!!!!! I 155% AGREE!!!! Until I could forgive myself and others I could not STAY SOBER!!!!! Clean and Sober since 5-10-2015.
I was a traumatized little girl sexually abused from ages 2-5 then lived a great upbringing with excellent school grades very talented. However at 24 I was trafficked because deep down I felt yucky no real sense of self love. At 29 I got away from the evil handlers and God sent me a beautiful Soul Gentleman to LOVE ME BACK TO LIFE UNTIL I COULD LOVE MYSELF!!!!! We were married 21 blissful years then on 5-10-2019 I got my 4 years sobriety at 6am then at 11:11am I was burying my Beautiful Beloved!!!!! I really had to seek a Power greater than myself and keep believing for myself. Today I live very happy joyous and free 💜 THANK YOU GOD!!!!! Don’t give up on yourself because GOD LOVES YOU!!!!! I take very good care of myself my mind my heart ♥️ and my Soul!!!!! JESUS CHRIST SET ME FREE!!!!!!
@@monicaramirez51015 i quit smokoing until i am super angry ...then i do LORD PRAYER ...lol ..forgiveness is the best way of life
Forgiveness to who?? To those who make you suffer everyday???
@@lazeppelini123God please forgive me, I am sinner, I willing to forgive who make me suffer, please God, let me enter heaven, please forgive me God
@@lazeppelini123 planet earth is full of suffering, I just want to enter heaven,
This is exactly what addiction was for me. I stopped drinking 12 years ago because I’m an alcoholic. However, I didn’t deal with my emotional trauma, until I met the right therapist, 2 years ago. He helped me to heal my soul and it was life-changing. 🙌 I love how normal it's becoming to talk about mental health. I never understood why there’s such a stigma attached to seeing a therapist and wanting to better yourself.
I'm doing my 2nd session in therapy..I'm learning to become more emotional intelligent..it's a cost In south africa 🇿🇦 conserdering that we are one of the most unequal country in the world ..I will push and persevere..I got this 👍
This is what I hope for my husband, to seek help, he is in denial that he has emotional trauma of neglect. He has being drinking for decades. Today it would be his 3rd day sober. I pray he continues standing firm in the fight and gets help.
Im of alcohol& Tobacco for 6 & 4months.
On a nofap journey which are going very well also.
Heard this quote that make me think twice.
“When i get the urge i know something else is stressing me out & i need to focus on that. It was very powerfull for myself to realise.
STAYHARD!
Thats great. Thanks for sharing and all the best for you
Stay hard? Nofap? I see what I did there.
He literally just told me why I’m at this very moment tho I’m ashamed to say I’m addicted to alcohol and drugs myself. He just said what happened to me in my life and how I tried to handle it and what my consequences were. He also made me think very deeply and now I can honestly say I know that I can get over my problems and be productive
Such brave words, my friend! I wish you the best of luck in your decision 🙏🏽
So true once I shared my childhood trauma I started to heal and have been clean for 2.5 yrs after a 20 yr marijuana habit.
This guy is very intelligent about addiction, I've overcome alcoholism and smoking‼️ Now I'm a professional swimmer‼️ParaS10
Amazing! well done!
Yeah I’m trying to stop smoking cigarettes
@@martinhall3315 think of the money you'll save and better health you'll have, you can do it.
@@martinhall3315 you can do it! make sure to deal with your emotional needs first
But only by the Grace of God
One word. Fantastic! This doctor really knows what he's talking about.
His approach to addiction is so compassionate. I never really thought much about this stuff until I became emotionally dependent on prescription benzodiazepines. My dad was an alcoholic, and I did my share of drinking in my 20s, but I stopped when I began blacking out. It was easy because I never liked the taste of alcohol. It didn’t occur to me that I might have a predisposition to addiction.
However, when I became severely depressed later, I began extra dosing with the benzos originally prescribed for anxiety and insomnia. That’s the first time I experienced what it’s like to zone out of the pain that was my life at the time, and man, I loved how they made me feel.
I began extra dosing more and more and lying about why I was going through my prescriptions so quickly. I eventually started planning my weekends around my drug use. I finally had to be hospitalised to manage the withdrawal when my shrink pulled the plug on the benzos. But I remember thinking if this is what heroin feels like, I totally get why people take it.
The experience completely altered the way I think about addiction and addicts, and I have a lot more compassion now.
I did a lot of drugs in my life, speed, flakka, cocaine, GHB, tramadol, oxycodin, alcohol. But the thing that maked me a real addict were the benzos, oh that stuff just got me and made me feel like a real addict for the first time, the brutal withdrawals multi-day blackouts, seizures.. no not that 'dangerous' illegal street drugs, nope the legal presscription drugs. Now im clean and in recovery.
@@agceh I hear you. Sometimes the cure really is worse than the disease. I’m glad you’re doing well now and are in recovery. Much love to you. ❤️
A deeply empathetic and compassionate man. It boggles the mind how society can judge substance abuse as they gorge on food, sex, consumerism, work, alcohol, netflix.. I mean the list goes on and on as to what we use nowadays to escape and numb ourselves.
Remember: what others say/think about you often times has nothing to do w U= it’s suppression, repression, projection & judging is just another form of escaping their own addiction that’s either hidden & denied or sociably acceptable such as working exercising = addiction in and of itself isn’t bad, it’s the addict and the consequences of having such addiction
Loneliness and lack of connection with loved ones is cause of addiction.
Would be considered a form of “trauma”
As a single parent of three kids, i thought i spent all my life protecting my children from harm, but listening to this, i was probably part of the stress and trauma on my kids. Only one is an addict and could never really figure it out. But i was unhappy and stressed when they were small, it is an eye opener.
Well said. After years of study, I traced my addiction back to childhood trauma. There are many layers to an onion.
I'm quit smoking Cigarette and Weed cold turkey exactly one week ago.
I would smoke a pack a day and a zip of kush in 3 days.
Addiction is nothing nice.
ITS BY THE GRACE OF GOD!
I want to celebrate one year free this time next year!
Take it one day at a time buddy. If you feel the urge, say you’ll smoke tomorrow. When tomorrow comes, say the same thing.
@@ShadowyBlink I'll smoke tomorrow? Thats counter intuitive but I like it. Thanks
@@kingbiibii it does feel counterintuitive. After being completely sober for a whole year, I thought I was free at last. But the hardest time was after a year, because I felt a really strong urge to smoke. I felt like I had no choice. No control.
In that desperate moment, the only comforting thing I can say is “Ok. I can smoke if I want to. But I’ll do it tomorrow instead”.
When the day after comes, the urge to smoke usually dissipates. If it doesn’t, I tell myself the same thing. It really works
@@ShadowyBlink I can peek into your perspective. I've been down this road before too. I quit for a good year when I gave my life to Christ Oct 11 2018. After I backslid in Dec 2019, I started saying to myself "I guess I've sinned, i'll just continue in my old ways" MORE SIN, MORE ADDICTIONS. I hated myself!
I still prayed often, till I reconnected with Christ again and I can easily find my reason to not smoke because I laid it all on him. Yes!
For cigarettes, what made me relapse after 6 months was drinking. You get tempted to smoke when you're buzzed. Not only are you cognitively impaired but the sensations of craving are stronger too since you associate smoking with drinking quite strongly. I suggest avoiding alcohol is possible. If not, do not give in to the voice that says just one drag. Stay strong buddy. You're doing great!