hi colleen!! my mom has been a NICU nurse for 20+ years and she wanted to me to tell you to PLEASE ask your nurses to try different bottles types, different feeding “routines”, different surroundings, different boobs- every baby reacts to stimulation from milk a different way. ask your nurses to explore those options for maisy. and please ask if there is any way for you to learn to operate the feeding tube because some hospitals will let you bring a baby home with that. maisy is perfectly healthy and doing exactly what her body needs her to do. love to your family always. EDIT: thank you to every single person that replied or shared their experience under this comment. i hope that each of you found peace knowing you were helping a mama who was in distress and looking for advice, find answers. you are the reason people struggling through their NICU journey, make it through-- support from friends AND family. me and my mama are sending the warmest regards to colleen and every one of you, again. so much love
Have they tried a sns? It was amazing for my nicu baby. It’s literally a feeding tube you wear and attaches to your breast and allows premies or those having feeding issues to eat. And I tried different nipples, bottles, flows, etc. I’m so sorry you are going through this. It truly is hell.
Don’t forget that all babies develop at different paces. Twins or not. Premature or not. I know it’s hard. You’re doing the absolute best you can and I wish I could make time go faster for you. You’re such a good mom and your children are SO LUCKY to have you ❤️
Yes!....I was just about to comment the same thing. My coworker is a grandmother to twin boys and, from the moment they were born, she would comment, "I think something is wrong with boy A cause boy B is starting to eat solids and boy A hasn't yet." or "Boy A is already taking steps to learn how to walk and boy B still shows no desire to even want to walk." I kept reminding her that EVERY SINGLE BABY grows at their own pace in their own time. I told her to stop comparing them because when they grow up, comments like that can make one feel inferior to the other and it won't help to encourage them. It was driving me nuts how she expected both boys to develop at the exact same time.
Yes! This! Colleen is amazing, and deserves to give herself a little grace. She’s dealing with a whole heck of a lot and giving everything/everyone 100%. Wish I could reach through the screen and give her a hug!
Colleen. Breathe, love. Your baby's brain is creating new synapses and connections every single day. There is no roadmap that says "these synapses will form before these". It's different for every baby. So when the nurses say one day it'll just "click", this is what they're referring to. Maisy has her own neurological system. She's literally becoming herself right before your very eyes. She's more expressive. Those neurons have joined. They're firing at full speed. Taking a bottle is JUST around the corner. Embrace the beauty of all her new synapses and abilities until those last few pesty ones fall in line. We're all cheering you and Maisy on!
I love this!! Thank you for explaining the science behind it. I work with little ones and they all learn differently and in their own time all through their lives. That’s why we can not compare them.
I think it’s important to point out that Colleen says she’s a lot more alert than Wesley, I think that shows another big difference between the two, and how differently they are developing.
I can just imagine Wes and Maisy watching this years from now admiring how much their mom fought for them and so wholeheartedly loved them. You’re a great momma Colleen. Sending all the love
Or maybe they'll watch it and wish that somebody wouldn't have put their lives on display for hundreds of millions of strangers to view and contribute money to. Documentation is one thing. Exploiting that for views and profit is quite another.
@@worshipcatalyst1 this is her job and its what allows them to live in the beautiful house they live in right now. I think they'd come to appreciate her for that.
**YOU ARE EXHAUSTED** Please make yourself close the door and sleep for at least (2)3 hrs, and let Eric/ mom fully take over for 2 feedings. The lack of sleep is A HUGE factor in how you feel. THERES A REASON WHY HORIBBLE COUNTRIES USE SLEEP DEPRIVATION AS TORTURE! Not that it will change the situation, but your mind is rebelling.
YES. NICU life will always be stressful and awful and that won’t change but getting some rest will absolutely help and everything won’t be as overwhelming and you’ll be able to think more clearly.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------💜 NUDE.SNAPGIRLS.TODAY/PIIT 𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥 💜 THREE IN ONE L...❤❤❤... TH-cam: THIS IS FINE. THREE IN ONE SOMEONE: SAYS ''HECK''. TH-cam: BE GONE Life's story is a short journey so have fun before sleeping forever #Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков .#垃圾. Megan: ''Hotter'' Hopi: ''Sweeter'' Joonie: ''Cooler'' Yoongi: ''Butter'' Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались. Megan: "Hotter" Hopi: "Sweeter" Joonie: "Cooler" Yoongi: "Butter" . ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！今後は気を付けないとね. . !💖🖤❤️#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！#１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！ #１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！ #まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #垃圾 今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした,. 💖🖤在整個人類歷史上，強者，富人和具有狡猾特質的人捕食部落，氏族，城鎮，城市和鄉村中的弱者，無`'守和貧窮成員。然而，人類的生存意願迫使那sfdsd些被拒絕，被剝奪或摧毀的基本需求的人們找到了一種生活方式，並繼續將其DNA融入不斷發展的人類社會。. 說到食物，不要以為那些被拒絕的人只吃垃圾。相反，他們學會了在被忽視的肉類和蔬菜中尋找營養。他們學會了清潔，切塊，調味和慢燉慢燉的野菜和肉類，在食品``
Wesley started the labour process. She was absolutely not ready to come out yet. It makes sense that Wesley was further along in development and got to come home quicker. But don’t let Wesley coming home early let you crowd your judgement on Maisy needing the time. I know it’s hard but she’s still developing. She’s not even meant to be out yet, focus on those extra cuddles for now. She’ll be home soon ❤️
This. Chin up Colleen. Being patient for the sake of Maisy is the key to her coming home. Babies develop in their own time, please let the doctors and nurses ease your mind by letting them get to the point where Maisy can come home safe in your arms 💜 love and strength to you each minute of each hour of each day to you and your amazing family
this is exactly what i keep wanting to say. Wesley was always the bigger one in the womb, its normal for twins to be at developmentally different places, Maisey was the furthest thing from ready, she just needs longer.
She simply isn’t ready yet. She wasn’t ready to be delivered, and she is taking her time getting comfortable and growing. They’re different beings and grow differently, you can’t compare them because they are always going to be different. You’re an amazing mother, and letting yourself realize she is different and is doing it her way will help in the long run
One day you'll tell your babies the story of how they came home, and you will replace all of this pain with new memories and love and crafts. I was in the NICU for four months and everything turned out okay. It was hard but it wasn't forever. Love you Colleen.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------💜 NUDE.SNAPGIRLS.TODAY/PIIT 𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥 💜 THREE IN ONE L...❤❤❤... TH-cam: THIS IS FINE. THREE IN ONE SOMEONE: SAYS ''HECK''. TH-cam: BE GONE Life's story is a short journey so have fun before sleeping forever #Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков .#垃圾. Megan: ''Hotter'' Hopi: ''Sweeter'' Joonie: ''Cooler'' Yoongi: ''Butter'' Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались. Megan: "Hotter" Hopi: "Sweeter" Joonie: "Cooler" Yoongi: "Butter" . ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！今後は気を付けないとね. . !💖🖤❤️#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！#１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！ #１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！ #まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #垃圾 今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした,. 💖🖤在整個人類歷史上，強者，富人和具有狡猾特質的人捕食部落，氏族，城鎮，城市和鄉村中的弱者，無`'守和貧窮成員。然而，人類的生存意願迫使那sfdsd些被拒絕，被剝奪或摧毀的基本需求的人們找到了一種生活方式，並繼續將其DNA融入不斷發展的人類社會。. 說到食物，不要以為那些被拒絕的人只吃垃圾。相反，他們學會了在被忽視的肉類和蔬菜中尋找營養。他們學會了清潔，切塊，調味和慢燉慢燉的野菜和肉類，在食品``
do you know why you stay there for so long??? Like really there is nothing doctors can do to get the baby out kicker??? It was all up to you??? How did your parents do it??
@@zairabandy8695 they probably came very early. Or had developmental delays maybe. Some babies are born before 30 weeks and can’t do anything on their own at all yet.
NICU MAMA HERE Hi Colleen, sweet mama. You said it right “I think it’s something that just sucks.” That’s exactly it. It just sucks. I PROMISE YOU IT IS WORTH IT. She is worth it, it will be ok. Picture yourself this summer laying in the backyard, babies rolling around, Flynn jumping in the pool with dada. Such a beautiful image, hold onto it!
Yes!! I don’t have babies in the nicu but what I’m going through right now in life this helped me to picture the moments that I will have that Hod promised me once I’m thought this
You have to remember that Maisy is fine and that she’s totally unaware that she’s by herself in the room and she’s not thinking about missing Xmas morning. You are so exhausted and that makes all your thoughts so much bigger! You will look back at this one day and really see it. You are such an awesome mother!
She is overTIRED; therefore, she is overly emotional. She needs to not worry about when Maisey will be home; she should just enjoy the time she has with Flynn, Wesley, Eric and her family. Maisey is on her own time, so she should just be patient. Christmas can be emotional for many people, so I know that Colleen’s emotions are working overtime.
Baby Maisy is going to be compared to Wesley her whole life, she was born with a built in set of expectations and as much as it’s almost impossible, I think the best think to remember is that you don’t have to hold those expectations for her. She is physically swallowing and things seem okay, so now she’s just waiting for that mental leap to get her motor skills where they need to be. She seems like a fighter, like a soul that wouldn’t fall short of a challenge, as long as you give her the space to surprise you. Good luck and I’m rooting for her and you!
As an identical twin myself who has had society put these comparisons and expectations on me , I could not have said that better. As much as I cannot fathom how difficult this is, I think the “why” is that she is a unique individual to her brother and is on her own timeline. Sending you all of my love Colleen 💛
@@courtneyzaccagna8508 I am a twin too - not identical, but we look a lot alike, and the comparison + expectation thing is...so real. Maisy is her own person
When my niece was in the nicu, we put a bead on a necklace for every day she was there. That way as she grows up, she has a reminder that she is strong and can get through anything. Maybe you and Maisy (and Wesley) could have matching necklaces to remind yourselves that you are strong and can get through anything.
My preemie had the same feeding issue! Doctors said that she would just “figure it out one day” and you know what… they were right. They are just SO sleepy and it takes them a while to really figure it out. Please have the nurses experiment with nipple flows, my daughter did best on the “newborn” flow rather than preemie. It’s fully up to you, but I personally made the decision in the final weeks of her stay to pause the breastfeeding and just practice bottles so that she could get the green light to go home faster, since BFing seemed to just tire her out. I promise you, she will come home before you know it and you will be so happy to be done with this time in your life. Please take care of yourself 💗
Yes. I work with horses in veterinary medicine and we have a syndrome in foals where they aren’t strong or aware enough to nurse. A vet created what’s called the “Madigan squeeze” where we apply pressure around the chest with a harness. This “wakes” them up bc in the womb all the hormones prevent them from running around in there. The squeeze of the birth canal triggers them to “wake up” essentially. The squeeze simulates the birth canal. And these are full term offspring. Maisy isn’t. This is going to take time bc she was so premature compared to her brother.
Same!! A NICU nurse came up to me and said “when you are here just bottle feed so he doesn’t get tired and he will go home faster.” So I breastfed only a few times a week. Breastfeeding really tires them out and then they have a hard time with bottles
I wonder about their birth order and the fact that Wesley was so ready to come into the world while Maisy was warm, comfy, and cozy.. not ready to leave the womb. She might just still be in that state of mind. And when she gets closer to her due date, all her instincts will just kick in suddenly & she'll come home! 🙏🏼✨
It’s important to remember that Maisy wasnt ready to be born when she was. Wesley broke his water and she had no choice but to come out too. You’re not a mad momma, your worries reflect how amazing of a mom you are ♥️
The twins weren’t supposed to come out until after Christmas. Maisy just isn’t ready for the wide world yet, but she will get there. You are not a bad mom. If anything, you are a super mom since you not only visit Maisy every day, but still have time for your boys as well. ❤️
I’m a NICU nurse… & it’s so hard to explain, but every single preemie is different, even siblings. I can tell parents what I’ve seen before & what to kind of expect but it will always change & always be different. Babies are the boss!! As NICU nurses we focus on eating being fun & enjoyable. If she’s not ready, it’s best to not push her. She’ll get there!
Maisy is a FIGHTER. She’s human, and we all need a small break every once in a while. I think that Maisy is taking a small break to gain even more strength. Your 3 babies are BEAUTIFUL and cute!
As the baby who was slower than her twin brother, I'm so sorry you're feeling so upset with yourself. You're feelings of sadness for dear Maisy is valid. Wesley was the one who broke his water, and the same happened with my brother. Maisy and I just weren't as ready as our brothers. My thoughts are with you and the babies. You're so strong and beautiful. Keep doing what you can, that's all that matters.
Colleen has a bad case of the "Shoulds". The truth is, neither of them _should_ even be out of her body, yet. So, Maisy is not behind, Wesley is ahead of... Say wait a minute Clio. _Babies_ can't write TH-cam comments. 😒 What are you trying to pull, here?
"I don't know how people do this. How do you do this?" You're doing it, mama. You're DOING IT. You'll make it through. Cry, cry all you need, get those emotions out into the world, process them in any way you can. And keep moving forward. You'll make it past this and someday soon it will be a distant memory. Rooting for you every step of the way. One step at a time.
Colleen, you are over tired. You are a wonderful mother. Maisy will be home soon. Have confidence. She has no health deficits. There are many pokey eaters. She is over 6 pounds, she can gain slowly now. Just try to get more rest. Insomnia can really undermine your mental health. Trust you are doing great. You have a great team, Erik, your mom, Coco, etc. These kids ( infants and toddler) won’t recall this as a bad time at all. Give yourself a break and RELAX!
Colleen, the worst thing that happened to a lot of folks is losing grandparents and parents during the pandemic, losing their jobs, unable to have kids --- please get some perspective. NONE of your kids are suffering, and they are beautiful, healthy babies who should not be compared to each other. You are clearly very stressed in a way that you don't need to be - please do get help, I mean this in a compassionate way. You are not reacting in a manner that seems healthy.
@asceticacid also to your point that she hasn't lost anything: there are always worse fortunes people have to deal with. But as some people say: whether the water you're drowning in is 20 or 90 foot deep - you're still drowning. I'm sure she has that perspective and she keeps expressing gratitude for her babies being healthy; still, it sucks. I think those emotions and reactions are valid. Just wanted to share my thoughts, i hope you won't read this as any form of attack
@@olivependergast9311 Thanks Olive! My point is merely that her reaction doesn’t seem healthy and she may need to get help if this situation seems so profoundly dire and miserable to her.
@@acidicascetic She is reacting in a HUMAN way. Almost anyone going through this would react the same way, even if they say they won’t. Individual pain isn’t mitigated by thinking about how others may “have it worse”, so cut it with that. You lack compassion and empathy, and while Colleen could maybe use a therapist as an additional outlet who could give her other healthy coping mechanisms, you need the help of a therapist to awaken kindness and empathy within you.
Colleen, I'm a NICU RN, first of all you're doing amazing and you will get through this! I'm wondering if there is a feeding team at your hospital? Have they tried different type of bottles for her? Sometimes they do better with a different type! Ask your nurses if this hasn't been done yet! ❤️
Colleen, I’m not sure what your hospital’s policy is on this, but in my NICU, I saw babies going home with NG tubes if the parents were willing to learn how to use it. My daughter was sent home at 37 weeks on a heart monitor because we were willing to learn to use that until her bradycardia of prematurity resolved. You may be able to ask if it’s possible to bring her home on the tube and pump until she’s ready. We just had to have a nurse visit us at home once a week to make sure everything was going well
Bump! I was sent home with a tube 25 years ago as a preemie. I know it may differ now because of the time and covid, but I know it helped my mom to have me home for her piece of mind, not to mention my growth in learning how to eat and be a normal baby.
Colleen listen, I know you probably won’t read this but as a NICU mama i can tell you: it will get better. Always remember “everything is temporary“ and just a stage…Think absolut all the cool stuff you will do when all your kids are united❤️you’re doing an amazing job😘 so proud of you ❤️❤️
the fact that you think you’re a bad mom because of this situation shows how AMAZING of a mom you are. you care about your babies SO deeply and love them more than anything.
@@amaya6824 what a horrible thing to say. she’s a mother who is going through a very very tough time and sharing it to help other NICU mamas know theyre not alone. i hope you never become a parent.
As someone who has to work a lot of holidays, I learned years ago that your personal celebration doesn’t have to be tied to a date on the calendar. If you can’t imagine doing Christmas morning without Maisy, then don’t. Do something scaled back for Flynn, and go all out once everyone is together. Try not to stress about everything not being perfect. The imperfect parts aren’t what anyone is going to remember a year from now.
Maybe a way to think of Maisy still being at the hospital cause she’s a “premie” is because Wes was ready to come out he’s the one who popped the water. Maisy was still needing to cook in there. I can understand the feeling of wanting to fast forward and it’s so difficult when you can do nothing but endure life. Even though the days are gunna be hard time will always go by and there will be good moments that help that time move along :) you’ll get through it Colleen
These are my exact thoughts. Wesley was the one who broke her water and Maisy only came out because she had to. Also it's so common for one twin to be more advanced than the other one because they just hog everything in utero.
Colleen, please go back and watch your psychic video about the twins. Has it occurred to you that everything she said about Maisy’s speech could in fact have been about her eating? She refers to her “holding her mouth”, being later to reach milestones etc. She literally says “there’ll be moments where you’re thinking ‘What’s wrong with her??’, but she’s FINE”. I believe Maisy is absolutely fine and will be home with you before you know it- you’re being so strong.
I've been following your whole journey & let me tell you....my Mama heart breaks with you every single time you're crying!! sending you so much love!! xo
Right Miss C you need to listen now! You can not do it ALL! If you burn yourself out you will be no good to anyone! No sleep with all this back and forth!! Are you kidding me, that is not safe for any of you. If you’re insisting on pumping after feeding the baby then someone else is going to have to feed him in the night or someone else is going to have clean your bottles and pump when you finish or maybe give yourself a break and use formula there should no feelings of failure that’s what the stuff is made for! Why, once you’ve put that new milk away are you cleaning up in the night anyway? There’s really no need Just leave it and sleep!!! I’m telling you this from experience of someone who nearly killed her self doing more or less the same as you! I made my self so Ill!!! I’ve watched it time and time again as I now offer support to others who are suffering!! YOU CAN NOT DO THIS ALONE WITH NO SLEEP YOU WILL BE VERY ILL!!!! Either pay for extra support at night or ask people to help like your mum etc they can take it different days, use formula as as good as your milk is it’s USELESS if you’re Burt out and ill!! You have nothing to prove we can’t do it all! You can not do this alone!!! You don’t need to…It takes a village to raise a baby as they say!!
@@naimorgs Yes rest Colleen you have dark, dark circles under your eyes. Your not looking to well. Dont try to do everything, you have Eric and your mom there and they will help you. Take the help.
You’re allowed to feel heartbroken. Just because a different situation could be “worse” doesn’t mean your situation isn’t hard and draining for you. You don’t have to justify being sad. Love you and waiting for the moment your family is together and you can breathe again.
This made me think of the following quote: "There is no secret. You endure what is unbearable and you bear it. That is all." (written by Cassandra Clare) I wish I could fix things for you, Colleen, but I can't and I have no clue how to make it better. Sending you a thousand hugs and good vibes ❤️
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------💜 NUDE.SNAPGIRLS.TODAY/PIIT 𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥 💜 THREE IN ONE L...❤❤❤... TH-cam: THIS IS FINE. THREE IN ONE SOMEONE: SAYS ''HECK''. TH-cam: BE GONE Life's story is a short journey so have fun before sleeping forever #Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков .#垃圾. Megan: ''Hotter'' Hopi: ''Sweeter'' Joonie: ''Cooler'' Yoongi: ''Butter'' Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались. Megan: "Hotter" Hopi: "Sweeter" Joonie: "Cooler" Yoongi: "Butter" . ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！今後は気を付けないとね. . !💖🖤❤️#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！#１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！ #１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！ #まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #垃圾 今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした,. 💖🖤在整個人類歷史上，強者，富人和具有狡猾特質的人捕食部落，氏族，城鎮，城市和鄉村中的弱者，無`'守和貧窮成員。然而，人類的生存意願迫使那sfdsd些被拒絕，被剝奪或摧毀的基本需求的人們找到了一種生活方式，並繼續將其DNA融入不斷發展的人類社會。. 說到食物，不要以為那些被拒絕的人只吃垃圾。相反，他們學會了在被忽視的肉類和蔬菜中尋找營養。他們學會了清潔，切塊，調味和慢燉慢燉的野菜和肉類，在食品``
Twins or not every baby’s different honestly. She will get better she’ll skyrocket she’s amazing. Don’t worry, Wes IS a premie but he’s not maisy. No one is Maisy but her. ❤️
Hi colleen! Remember when the psychic said baby girl would take longer to hit milestones, but not worry because she's still perfectly fine? She was right, again. Maisy is being the sweet girl boss and taking her time. That in no way makes you a bad mom. You are amazing and strong
oh honey, you are NOT a bad mom. you are doing YOUR BEST, and Erik is doing HIS BEST. you all are doing the best you can. you are still human, and what you're feeling is valid.
Colleen, I’m not a doctor but my family friend is and she offered up some advice. I asked her since you’re looking for more than just a “it’ll click” response: By 35-37 weeks, a preterm baby should exhibit sucking-swallowing-breathing coordination in a 1-1-1 or a 2-2-1 ratio. If you see there are inconsistencies (maybe Maisy is finding it difficult to breathe in between for example), perhaps ask the NICU nurses if they can use M-CNSA to see if there are indeed inconsistencies in the coordination. There are apparently case studies where the baby showed signs of a nasal blockage, so they removed the NG tube and used neosynephrene & a humidifier to treat the baby- after which the baby was able to perform rhythmic sucking. Also she said to add color to why the nurses say “one day it will click”: She says the baby has to go through so many phases, from developing the physical structures necessary to oral feed, to practicing non-nutritive sucking and finally to nutritive sucking where the baby has to perform both expression and suction in a rhythmic way. The rhythm is controlled by the central pattern generators in the brain, so naturally the more mature the CPGs, the better she can get at all of these things. This may explain for why there’s a difference in pace between Wesley and Maisy. SO all that to say- Sounds like Maisy is gradually learning how to consistently perform nutritive sucking and is most likely doing JUST FINE but just needs a little bit more time
Wow - all of this seems like really good advice, but especially the part about not setting Christmas as an imaginary deadline. It’s going to be hard no matter what time of year to have her stay even longer in the hospital, but adding in the pressure of her going home for the holidays might feel like it’s taking even longer and making it more frustrating/draining. Trying not to make it harder on yourself by holding onto that timeline seems like it would so much gentler on yourself and your little ladybug. Patience and her mother’s love will get her home whenever she’s ready.
As a twin, try not to compare your lovely twins. They are different, unique people and so they are healing and growing differently. Maisy needs a little time but she will come home mama! Twins are some of the strongest babies
Hi Colleen, I was a preemie baby and was born 8 weeks early with my twin brother. My twin brother was born first and my mum had us both in he NICU too. My brother progressed quicker than me and he was born first. I think just like all babies developmental goals like talking, walking, etc each baby is an individual and there is a range, of course you know all this. It's hard not to compare because Wesley is home but Maisy will of course get there. This is hard right now having to split your time and I personally think you should be so proud of yourself. Sending love and support, this time will pass. There is always darkness before the Dawn. Big love and cuddles to all of you.
Can we appreciate Colleen’s mom for a second? She’s letting Colleen hold Wesley while she cleans up the house for Colleen! DREAM VISITOR! Always let mama hold her baby while you do the chores for them so they don’t have to stress!😍💕
I think the reason Maisy can't grasp it is simply bc she's a different person, her brain works differently and that's not a bad thing she might just not be there yet. And ik you've heard it a thousand times but she WILL come home. I understand how much this hurts but this hell will pass and you'll get to move on and see these amazing, strong, adorable babies become their own person. Also your doing so amazing, you're such a great mom wheather you believe it or not we all know that it's true. One day you'll look back at these times mabey as the hardest and worst days, but also as the days that made you stronger. Sending love❤️
The staff who are saying "it will just click one day" are right. It's just the way of the preemie world. My Baby B was a very lazy eater and was taking very little by mouth maybe 25-30%. One day it was like someone flipped a switch and he started eating all on his own. It'll be the same for Maizy. Be prepared because Baby B is the wildcard! They may just call you to pick her up tomorrow!
Twin hormones are very different…. It will feel like absolute peace when they are together again. Our twins were separated for two weeks and 2 hours away from each other. I thought I would never be ok again but it’s been a beautiful two years and that pain is gone. You are a extremely strong and a amazing mama.❤️ We also told them we weren’t messing around and we were taking her home so get every doctor in the room to get on the same page. We all in that room made our plan. We changed bottles, we changed formula, we mixed breast milk and formula we told everyone to leave so we could feed her peacefully we had alarms turned down so she was calm. You will find your plan mama
I love how Colleen always asks Flynn "Can I eat this one?" because it's his candy. That's so cool that she teaches him that he can decide over his own things
As a home health nurse I wish they would just let you do the tube feeding at home. You could totally do it after training. I have taken care of babies with there parents doing tube feeding at home. My heart breaks so bad for you. I don't think I have ever wanted to give someone a hug so bad before. I Understand you are feeling like you suck, but we all see you are truly doing amazing with the cards you have been dealt. Love you!!!🥰🥰🥰
Hey Colleen, this isn't exactly advice, but something we did as a family this year was have Christmas on our own timeline. Due to some health issues in the family and the desire to have everyone together, we did Christmas two weeks early, and last year we did it two weeks late for the same reasons. Christmas morning was perfect and complete- even if it wasn't on the 25th. Of course not everyone has such flexibility around the holidays, but it's an option we have and it's a great solution for our family.
The fact that you are so upset is normal but you also have to understand that you are only thinking about yourself with this whole story Maisie does not know that there is a Christmas you are putting that burden upon yourself Maisy does not know that there is a home waiting for her you are putting that stress on yourself and transferring that stress to everybody else you're transferring that stress over to your other kids the rest of your family and all of us Maisie is safe Maisy is in hospital because she has to be the fact that you want her home earlier and very selfish because you are taking a chance away for her to get stronger you are wanting her home for yourself and the longer she stays in the hospital the stronger she'll get under the proper care if something were to happen at home because you brought her home to early that's on you you would never forgive yourself you need to stop being so selfish you need to start thinking about Maisy your daughter her health and you are only wanting her to be home so that you can have it easier so that you can have your Christmas she doesn't know about that only you do you are the only one with stress you are the only one being selfish right now you need to think about that and put your daughter first before yourself I am not saying this to be cruel I'm saying this because if you look at it from a different perspective you will feel much better please try it please think about it
@@justsayinhi dude she’s not saying that she wants her to go home early and not get the care that she needs she just wants Maisy to not need that extra care and be able to go home-
just like the psychic said don’t be worried if it takes baby girl longer to hit milestones, nothing is wrong with her! You can get through this Colleen! Hope little maisy comes home soon 🥺
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------💜 NUDE.SNAPGIRLS.TODAY/PIIT 𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥 💜 THREE IN ONE L...❤❤❤... TH-cam: THIS IS FINE. THREE IN ONE SOMEONE: SAYS ''HECK''. TH-cam: BE GONE Life's story is a short journey so have fun before sleeping forever #Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков .#垃圾. Megan: ''Hotter'' Hopi: ''Sweeter'' Joonie: ''Cooler'' Yoongi: ''Butter'' Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались. Megan: "Hotter" Hopi: "Sweeter" Joonie: "Cooler" Yoongi: "Butter" . ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！今後は気を付けないとね. . !💖🖤❤️#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！#１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！ #１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！ #まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #垃圾 今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした,. 💖🖤在整個人類歷史上，強者，富人和具有狡猾特質的人捕食部落，氏族，城鎮，城市和鄉村中的弱者，無`'守和貧窮成員。然而，人類的生存意願迫使那sfdsd些被拒絕，被剝奪或摧毀的基本需求的人們找到了一種生活方式，並繼續將其DNA融入不斷發展的人類社會。. 說到食物，不要以為那些被拒絕的人只吃垃圾。相反，他們學會了在被忽視的肉類和蔬菜中尋找營養。他們學會了清潔，切塊，調味和慢燉慢燉的野菜和肉類，在食品``
You are literally splitting yourself in four trying to be an equal good mom to the three of them AND working in the meantime. Please be gentle with yourself, you are doing the best you can and it is enough. ❤️ When I was in the NICU my mum was very underweight because she had had a problem with her placenta towards the end of the pregnancy and she lost a lot of blood during delivery. It was so cold and she kept coming to the NICU every day against medical advice because she was in a fragile state and she needed to rest. Then she told me “Chiara, get stronger soon so you can come home with me” and within days I was gaining weight and was out. I must have understood what she meant!❤️ Things are getting better, I know it. I will pray for Maisie to come home super soon. you can do this Coleen.
It's okay girl, Masie is developing she's taking her own time to get better. She's strong, she just needs you to be strong for her. Remember she was the weakest, she's trying her best, she's not going to let you down
"I would ask for advice, but I don't think there is advice to be given in this situation right now. I think it just sucks." Colleen, you couldn't have hit the nail harder with the hammer on how I feel lately. I lost my dad to a terminal illness a couple days before your twins were born, and I have been his caregiver for the last four years. I even dropped out of college to care for him when covid hit and mainly focused on working at the hospital and caring for him. I'm only 24 and Thanksgiving was just gut-wrenching for me without him, and with Christmas and my sister and I's birthdays in January coming up it's just devastating to think he won't be here. When you say it gets worse every day leaving Maisy at the hospital, that's how I feel waking up without having to care for my dad. I know I'm supposed to be young and enjoy life while I can, but to have a world without him in it just feels like a nightmare. I miss him so much and I would give anything to hear him laugh and hug me one last time. I can only relate so much because I have never been a mom, never mind a NICU mama, but as a healthcare worker and a daughter I feel your pain so much. And I am so thankful I can cry with you and know you feel a similar emptiness even at home and lack of control in your life right now. I am praying Maisy comes home sooner than later, sounds like you have a stubborn beautiful little girl on your hands along with your two boys. Praying for you all the time, and sending all the love.
i’m so sorry for your loss & you are an amazing person!!! i’m a healthcare worker too & family members who are caretakers are super hero’s!! i can’t imagine losing my dad and i’m sending you lots of love!!!
Colleen, don’t minimize your feelings. This is HARD and a really, really stressful time for you. You’re also EXHAUSTED. Sending you so much love. As a NICU mama, all I can say is I understand. Hugs mama ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Awww the little sounds Maisy makes in her sleep proves she’s genuinely happy. You are doing great Colleen and you are so strong!!! Whenever beautiful Maisy gets to come home and your babies are together all this pain will go away and you will be so extremely happy!! You got this!!!
Please like this so it gets to the top so colleen sees this!!! Our nicu told me that if you switch between breast feeding and bottle feeding it confuses them and they take way longer to learn how to eat! I understand you want to breastfeed because it’s so important but bottle feeding would get her home faster! I love you so much. You have so many people that have your back. 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
While Maisy and Wesley are twins they’re not going to progress the exact same. They’re different babies so they’ll hit their milestones at different times. That’s why she’s not home yet. I know it must be so hard but like the nurses say you just have to wait for it to click with her. Sending love❤️❤️
If I were you, I’d push Christmas back to when she’s home and just act like it hasn’t happened yet. Flynn’s too young to know what day it is. It might help your heart to wait.
I was thinking the same thing. Christmas doesn't have to be the 25 it can be any day you want it to be. I know you feel that was as you has Christmas for bday and you had Christmas last year in summer! So whenever you celebrate it, it will be magical. I know it's not the same but if this pandemic has taught me anything celebration can happen whenever however. My heart goes out to you and your family.
GREAT idea... the actual "date" doesn't matter! We did that for Easter + my son's bay that followed right after, one year when he was really ill. Nearly a month later, on one weekend & then the following. No one but those of us there, ever knew or felt ANY difference... most of all, my son. + Tbh, if anything, looking back.. made it stand out in my memory & even more special.
The situation absolutely sucks but YOU do not suck as a mother. There's literally nothing more you could be doing right now. Go easy on yourself & know that Flynn is resilient and will get through this time even if he doesn't have his usual level of attention. It's going to be ok 💕
Colleen babe, with all the love in the world, they are two completely different human beings. You gotta stop comparing them NOW or you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment. She is not Wesley, or anyone else, so THAT is why she is still where she is at. She will be ready in her own time.
She’s really just wanting them both home, I don’t at all think she’s setting herself up for a lifetime of disappointment? Do you think Colleen, which is literally the most understanding and accepting parent I’ve ever seen, would continue to compare them? She’s even said she’s okay with her children being trans, and always brings up that they can decide and figure out for themselves & that she will love them no matter what. I can see without a doubt that she’s just upset that one came home, and the other didn’t. It’s hard when both are born at the same time and start life together, then having to leave one behind? That sucks. I just don’t think it’s fair to say she’s setting herself up for a lifetime of disappointment by saying she just wishes they were both home .
@@BrookeKatherine. I do think also that she’s an amazing mother and there’s no doubt that she loves her children, but stopping the comparison will spare her mental health, as well as theirs.
Colleen, you are NOT a bad mother! You have the patience of a saint. I am constantly judging my parenting when I watch you with your kids. I get frustrated constantly and you seem to always be calm and amazing. My second baby was in the NICU for two weeks. It’s awful, but it will be over soon. Please be gentle with yourself. Xoxoxo
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------💜 NUDE.SNAPGIRLS.TODAY/PIIT 𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥 💜 THREE IN ONE L...❤❤❤... TH-cam: THIS IS FINE. THREE IN ONE SOMEONE: SAYS ''HECK''. TH-cam: BE GONE Life's story is a short journey so have fun before sleeping forever #Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков .#垃圾. Megan: ''Hotter'' Hopi: ''Sweeter'' Joonie: ''Cooler'' Yoongi: ''Butter'' Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались. Megan: "Hotter" Hopi: "Sweeter" Joonie: "Cooler" Yoongi: "Butter" . ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！今後は気を付けないとね. . !💖🖤❤️#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！#１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！ #１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！ #まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #垃圾 今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした,. 💖🖤在整個人類歷史上，強者，富人和具有狡猾特質的人捕食部落，氏族，城鎮，城市和鄉村中的弱者，無`'守和貧窮成員。然而，人類的生存意願迫使那sfdsd些被拒絕，被剝奪或摧毀的基本需求的人們找到了一種生活方式，並繼續將其DNA融入不斷發展的人類社會。. 說到食物，不要以為那些被拒絕的人只吃垃圾。相反，他們學會了在被忽視的肉類和蔬菜中尋找營養。他們學會了清潔，切塊，調味和慢燉慢燉的野菜和肉類，在食品``
Hey Colleen, don't know if this will be helpful at all, but a lot studies I've read say that fraternal twins are known to develop at a different pace more than identical twins. So Maisy just needs some more time than Wesley but it's perfectly ok. I know doctors may have already told you this, and really nothing anyone can say will make this any better for you, but it will be over soon and your family will be reunited again ❤
Fraternal twins are not always conceived at the same time, so that makes sense. They're even cases of them being conceived weeks apart, Maisie could actually be younger than Wesley.
Someone pointed out too, that it was Wesley who broke Colleen's water. Maisy came out because she had no choice, so it could be that she needed a bit more time to develop and thus why Wesley is a bit ahead.
I work with preemies on their development after they’re discharged from the NICU, and I can tell you it is 100% normal for preemies to have differences in their development. That absolutely includes feeding. It’s a super tough skill to learn and while it is wonderful that it clicked for Wesley and he came home, it’s also normal that it is taking Maisy some more time, especially since she was smaller. Later on, you might see this continue with Wes doing some things ahead of Maisy. But she may also be doing different things ahead of Wes, like how she seems to be more interactive and have more awake alert periods! I also see a pattern in their development for other things where they seem like they’re just not doing something, like sitting up or crawling, and then right when their families are super worried one day it just clicks and they can sit or crawl or whatever it is! It may be hard to see that she’s making progress, but she is building strength, coordination, and endurance with each feeding and you’ll see it soon! You are right, it totally sucks and is unfair that she’s not home, but she is okay and (unfortunately) from what I see in my work is that twins go home separately more often than they go home together. I don’t know how you and other parents do it when it happens, but they all do, and I see everything good that comes after and it will be wonderful when it happens for you and your family. You are doing so amazing with these tiny babies and managing your time between everywhere you need to be. All of your babies look so loved, which is the #1 that they need and a thing that no one but their parents can give them.
As a NICU mom, it feels like you are a bad mom but you aren't. It is absolute hell. Vent. Speak your feelings so they don't bottle up. Naturally, we feel like we are the ultimate provider for children but realistically, sometimes they need additional help. Your journey isn't going the way you wanted to but because of your platform, your journey can help others. I didn't have anyone that went through this when I did. That's was 2009. Maisy will come home, you have 3 beautiful amazing kids and you are helping out so many mamas. It's hard to find silver linings, but there's a few to focus on.
THISSS. Colleen has done Christmas in July, why not Christmas in February??? The stress of the Christmas deadline is the one thing she can control- throw another Christmas on Maisy-time :)
Like others already said, Maisy was forced to be born by her brother, who was clearly already more advanced than her... It's unfair to compare their progress. They're twins yes, but also two separate human beings. She's not a problem, there's no issue with her, she's just taking her time, as she should.
Thats pretty presumptuous of you. Not once did Colleen say that Maisy was a problem, or that she had something wrong with her. She knows theyre to separate people, but she is upset that she cant have both of them home.
I've seen several comments like this and want to gently encourage people to use more passive language when describing the twins delivery. Wesley didn't "force" Maisy to be born. His water broke (due to cholestasis, his breech position, or maybe just due to being a twin and twins often are born preterm, etc.) and that triggered an early delivery for both of them. Truly not trying to nitpick, just think language is important and can imply intent/conscious thought when neither of those things are possible for a 32 gestational week baby. ❤ Fully agree with everything else you said though!
Thank you for addressing that they are two separate human beings. This is also how ableism starts, certain behaviors are prioritized and praised and others are treated as a deficit. Two different humans have two different needs and that should be the end of the story. All too often it's communicated to disabled folks that we are not good enough because we are not "doing enough" instead of having the community just create space for our needs and meeting us right where we are at. It also gets incredibly irritating when parents have disabled kids make our identities and lives all about them. I exist separately from said DNA donors. And I don't appreciate their identities and self-worth getting wrapped up in my existence..
She’s knows this, she was a worried mom, freaking out because she wanted her baby girl. She was in a desperate state looking for an answer that she could accept even tho there probably wasn’t one at all. You must know this logically & yet you say this to her where it gains so much attention to where she will see it. You really had to be heard so badly that it didn’t matter how this would make this mother who was falling apart feel?? I don’t understand.
"Sometimes when you're in a dark place you think you've been buried, but you've actually been planted.” There's nothing to say to make it better right now but just know that everything you are going through is helping you turn into the ultimate fierce mother that those children will look up to and emulate for lifetimes.
As a Mom what I see is utter exhaustion. Everything you feel you feel with so much more intensity because you are so tired. I have been there- most of us have been there! You are a wonderful mother- look at Flynn- how sweet and well adjusted he is! And so smart and funny! I know you know this but it will get better and you have a wonderful support system. Hang in there sweet girl! You have many many people out here who love and support you! Lots of love to you and your sweet family!🥰🥰🥰
This. For real though. I feel like we all joke so much about not sleeping that we kinda forget how truly damaging sleep deprivation can be. Can't balance anything if the foundation's unstable 😓
Every baby is truly sooo so different! NICU nurse here, twins always go home weeks apart. She truly will have a light bulb day and start eating more!! I get that it’s so hard to see the difference between the two and having to split your time that is so hard ❤️
Colleen, I used to nurse on a high risk antepartum unit. Almost all of our patients delivered premature, lots of emergency c-sections, lots of twins. We used to remind our twin mammas that developmentally, twins/multiples are like popcorn kernels. They go into the pot all at once, but they never pop at the same time. This is true for full term twins too. She will come home. She’s working hard to catch up to Wesley who just happened to pop first. She just needs a little more heat in the pot than he did. Maisy will come home.
You are a good mom. You are also an exhausted mom. Maisy is herself. She is going at her own speed. She is not the same little person as Wesley, or Flynn, and she is going to hit her milestones when she hits them. You can’t compare them to each other, they’re different people. She hasn’t even reached her due date. The only way out is through. You have support. You have Erik, and Coco, and your mom. You have people to lean on. Lean on them.
I've never wanted anything so badly for someone I've never met as much as I want Maisy to come home for Colleen and Erik. YOU CAN DO THIS, MAMA!!! Just hold on a little bit longer!
This is so true! ❤ We love you colleen! YOU ARE A GIRLBOSS I've never experienced anything remotely similar to this but I think your feelings are valid
@@carinagoldstein9085 my mum gave birth to me at 34 weeks and i was in the NICU for 7 weeks and she felt so emotional cuz she couldn't look after my 2 sisters and brother
Knowing something logically does not make your emotions and feelings invalid. You don't need a disclaimer for your feelings, and don't let people make you feel bad for how you're handling this stressful and upsetting situation. Feel your feels, girl.
I was a preemie and from what I heard I took freaking forever to be ready to come home. I was born 3 pounds and 11 ounces so it took a while. But I’m fine now, and my mom too. My moms my best friend. Everything is gonna be ok Colleen, and one day you’re gonna look at Maisy and say “I remember when you were as small as ____”. Trust me I get it all the time. I love you babes and I’m keeping you, Maisy, Wesley, Flynn, Erik and the rest of your family in prayer. You got this love🤍
It's going to be okay. I was torn between the NICU and home. One of my twins went home separately and it sucked. My smaller twin was the same way that he would try so hard and I felt like the doctors didn't have any answers but trust me you will get your answers. It is hell it's something you cant imagine your babies to go through. You have a whole community here for you and you are doing a great job.
Push Christmas till she’s home! Spend dec 25 as a normal day and celebrate together when everyone is home. You’re doing great, it’s all going to come together soon ❤️❤️
All your feelings are valid, everything you’re saying makes sense and I completely “understand” what you’re talking about (like I haven’t gone thru this but I understand how you’re expressing your emotions for a very understandable reason. You’re entitled to these feelings and thoughts. I couldn’t even imagine being as strong as you, that’s why you’re a literal role model to me. I know this is something you hear all the time but you’ve got this 💕✨ sending all the loving protection guiding and grounding energy to you and yours 💕✨love y’all.
I couldn’t believe my ears when she said she feels like she is a bad mum because if you watch through all the videos since Flynn was born in every single video every second of it the whole family has the biggest smile on their faces and I can wait until we see Wesley, Maisie and Flynn’s biggest rosey little smiles. Remember we all love you Colleen and we think you are awesome
I saw a comment and it was so good to hear: Wesley and maisy will spend their whole lives being compared to eachother so maybe embrace the different pace they’re at, stay strong! you are superwoman
This is really great to think about. Of course it’s hard to not be sad about having a baby in the NICU but you’re right! Don’t compare them and expect the same results. They are different people they go at their own pace.
Yup! I'm a twin girl with a brother! Can confirm you are compared against eachother constantly. Even at 27. It's got less as we've started to ago but maaaaan it happens a lot.
Hi Colleen - It makes so much sense that this is so hard. I'm sorry. Maisy had a lot of predictability before 5.5 weeks ago, and then a traumatic birth, and then she got used to things going a certain way again - being close to Wesley and hearing him, seeing / hearing and feeling both you and Erik at the same time. And now, things have changed for her again. In much the same way you're struggling as an adult human, Maisy is struggling to cope with all of these changes and stresses as a tiny, premature human. Remember how you didn't even remember putting the laundry into the washer? That level of stress? She's dealing with a ton of stress too, as someone brand-new to the world. The gentleness and kindness that you and Erik need is what Maisy needs too. She wants safety and stability. Focus on providing that. You can do that part. Sending so much love your way. - Tara, twin and former NICU preemie
^ Yes, all of this! As lucedelsole47s twin (who was in Maisy's place) absolutely. She's living through a lot of life changes and it's hard on a little one. Just keep being there for her. She doesn't know about calendars or holidays. She just knows about you and Wesley and Erik. Keep doing what you're doing. Being there for her the way you are is SOOOO vital.
I haven't even thought about this, but you're so right. Maisy is going through so much. Colleen, you've been doing amazing, providing her with all of the comfort and safety that you're able to. You're already spread so thin and yet you're still doing the absolute most. You're being an incredible mama.
Been there! My son was a 28 weeker and was in the NICU for 2 months. It was awful and postpartum hormones didn’t help. Trust me, you’ll forget this moment and this hurt. My son is almost 4 now and the NICU is a distant memory. Hugs and love to your family!
she's not a bad mom, she's a perfect mom who deserves the world and who should never give up bc she has a purpose in life and people love her a lot more than she thinks
Oh gosh Colleen, my hearts breaking for you! I’m praying that God comforts you and gives you peace and strength. I’m so sorry, wish I could help. You helped me through the loss of my Mom. We would watch your Miranda videos together and crack up as she was sick in bed. Some joyful memories for me sharing that laughter with her. Praying that you get some joyful moments to sustain you through this and your sweet daughter is home soon!
I'm a NICU nurse and I just wanted to let you know that you are amazing and your feelings are 100% valid, it is so hard watching mothers go through this heartbreak. Where I work we actually teach and show parents how to do tube feeds if that is the only thing holding them back from coming home, is this something the hospital may be willing to do for you so you can have your baby girl home and she can then take her time learning to feed?
Their entire lives you’ll have to try and not compare them. I’m a twin and you have to remember your babies are totally different people, and will reach milestones at different times 🤍
Colleen, part of the reason you're feeling this way is because of your extreme lack of sleep. It's hard but the sleeplessness makes it so much worse. Maybe you can get Erik to do bottles with Wes one night so you can get a really good sleep? You have enough milk saved up that not pumping one night won't have a negative effect on your supply. Get up and pump once so you're not in pain and then go back to bed. Trust me, after you get 8 hours in a row you will feel so much better. It will still be the worst thing in the world to have your babies apart and in the NICU, but you'll at least not feel like you're drowning. Speaking from experience here, my fellow NICU mum. Sleep.
She's got so much help at home, yet she hardly puts Wesley down. She doesn't seem to realize that not taking care of herself is a detriment to her children. I think maybe she has some control and trust issues. Sooner than later, her body will force her to rest. She will get sick or have a mental breakdown. I hope it doesn't have to get to that point, though.
Maisy wasn’t the one that activated labour, Wesley was the one who was developed enough as a twin to want to get out when maisy needed more time to develop, that’s why she’s still learning because she needed the extra cooking time to catch up. As a premie mum of a girl I was worried when she wasn’t hitting the expected marks but one day she just bloomed quickly, it doesn’t seem like it now but maisy is just taking the ride slowly now and then she’ll be full force later :)
Christmas is just a concept, it can be any day you want it to be. You can even celebrate it twice. When my parents split a few years ago, I started traveling with my dad during the Christmas break, and then my mom and I would have our Christmas dinner in January. If Maisy can't be home next week, keep some gifts and do a Christmas morning do-over with all your kids when they are all home :) That way if you don't have her with you on the 25th you will still have this second Christmas to look forward to for when she’s ready!
Exactly! I only celebrate with my mom and I only see her on weekends so christmas is always a few days later for me and it still feels just as amazing! Sure it's not on December 25th, but that doesn't matter, bc its still christmas.
I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, just know you're an amazing person, mother and wife and I want nothing more than to give you a big hug.
Mama please take a breath. Stop and see your situation from the outside. Your partner is supportive and with you 100% has your back. Your oldest gets to have a slow intro into big brotherhood which will help him adjust better long term. Your baby girl is getting attention and care from trained professionals and you're lucky enough to have the means to see her everyday. You have a whole gang of family and friends who here for you. And know that you are crushing it! As a mom myself I can confirm you are. You are up and about clean self, tidy home, happy Flynn . Go watch the predictions video and remember the positive vibes, how strong she said Maisey Jo will be. One day at a time is enough, you are enough. Feel your feelings and then keep doing you and pushing through.
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hi colleen!! my mom has been a NICU nurse for 20+ years and she wanted to me to tell you to PLEASE ask your nurses to try different bottles types, different feeding “routines”, different surroundings, different boobs- every baby reacts to stimulation from milk a different way. ask your nurses to explore those options for maisy. and please ask if there is any way for you to learn to operate the feeding tube because some hospitals will let you bring a baby home with that. maisy is perfectly healthy and doing exactly what her body needs her to do. love to your family always.
EDIT: thank you to every single person that replied or shared their experience under this comment. i hope that each of you found peace knowing you were helping a mama who was in distress and looking for advice, find answers. you are the reason people struggling through their NICU journey, make it through-- support from friends AND family. me and my mama are sending the warmest regards to colleen and every one of you, again. so much love
Colleen needs to see this comment....Please boost....
signal boost this so she sees it!!!!!
Hoping this boosts this comment xxx
Boost!
Have they tried a sns? It was amazing for my nicu baby. It’s literally a feeding tube you wear and attaches to your breast and allows premies or those having feeding issues to eat.
And I tried different nipples, bottles, flows, etc.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. It truly is hell.
Don’t forget that all babies develop at different paces. Twins or not. Premature or not. I know it’s hard. You’re doing the absolute best you can and I wish I could make time go faster for you. You’re such a good mom and your children are SO LUCKY to have you ❤️
Yes!....I was just about to comment the same thing. My coworker is a grandmother to twin boys and, from the moment they were born, she would comment, "I think something is wrong with boy A cause boy B is starting to eat solids and boy A hasn't yet." or "Boy A is already taking steps to learn how to walk and boy B still shows no desire to even want to walk." I kept reminding her that EVERY SINGLE BABY grows at their own pace in their own time. I told her to stop comparing them because when they grow up, comments like that can make one feel inferior to the other and it won't help to encourage them. It was driving me nuts how she expected both boys to develop at the exact same time.
Yes! This! Colleen is amazing, and deserves to give herself a little grace. She’s dealing with a whole heck of a lot and giving everything/everyone 100%. Wish I could reach through the screen and give her a hug!
THIS!!!!
Hang in there colleen ❤❤❤❤
Best comment 🥺
Colleen. Breathe, love. Your baby's brain is creating new synapses and connections every single day. There is no roadmap that says "these synapses will form before these". It's different for every baby. So when the nurses say one day it'll just "click", this is what they're referring to. Maisy has her own neurological system. She's literally becoming herself right before your very eyes. She's more expressive. Those neurons have joined. They're firing at full speed. Taking a bottle is JUST around the corner. Embrace the beauty of all her new synapses and abilities until those last few pesty ones fall in line. We're all cheering you and Maisy on!
I love this!! Thank you for explaining the science behind it. I work with little ones and they all learn differently and in their own time all through their lives. That’s why we can not compare them.
This! ❤️
This is a good explanation
I think it’s important to point out that Colleen says she’s a lot more alert than Wesley, I think that shows another big difference between the two, and how differently they are developing.
This is an amazing comment. I hope she sees.
I can just imagine Wes and Maisy watching this years from now admiring how much their mom fought for them and so wholeheartedly loved them. You’re a great momma Colleen. Sending all the love
Or maybe they'll watch it and wish that somebody wouldn't have put their lives on display for hundreds of millions of strangers to view and contribute money to. Documentation is one thing. Exploiting that for views and profit is quite another.
@@worshipcatalyst1 😐😐
@@worshipcatalyst1 there's always that one person in the comment section 🙄
@@worshipcatalyst1 this is her job and its what allows them to live in the beautiful house they live in right now. I think they'd come to appreciate her for that.
**YOU ARE EXHAUSTED** Please make yourself close the door and sleep for at least (2)3 hrs, and let Eric/ mom fully take over for 2 feedings. The lack of sleep is A HUGE factor in how you feel. THERES A REASON WHY HORIBBLE COUNTRIES USE SLEEP DEPRIVATION AS TORTURE! Not that it will change the situation, but your mind is rebelling.
YES. NICU life will always be stressful and awful and that won’t change but getting some rest will absolutely help and everything won’t be as overwhelming and you’ll be able to think more clearly.
Listen
I agree
So true, please read Colleen
100% yes, exhaustion makes every emotion 20x more intense!! If you get some good sleep then this will help you handle the emotional pain a bit better.
I am blown away by mom strength. The sentence “I just can’t do this anymore, but I will cause I’m there for my babies” 😢 incredible strength!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------💜 NUDE.SNAPGIRLS.TODAY/PIIT
𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥 💜
THREE IN ONE
L...❤❤❤...
TH-cam: THIS IS FINE.
THREE IN ONE
SOMEONE: SAYS ''HECK''.
TH-cam: BE GONE
Life's story is a short journey so have fun before sleeping forever
#Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде
#однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков .#垃圾.
Megan: ''Hotter''
Hopi: ''Sweeter''
Joonie: ''Cooler''
Yoongi: ''Butter''
Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались.
Megan: "Hotter"
Hopi: "Sweeter"
Joonie: "Cooler"
Yoongi: "Butter" .
ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！今後は気を付けないとね. .
!💖🖤❤️#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！#１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！ #１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！ #まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #垃圾 今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした,. 💖🖤在整個人類歷史上，強者，富人和具有狡猾特質的人捕食部落，氏族，城鎮，城市和鄉村中的弱者，無`'守和貧窮成員。然而，人類的生存意願迫使那sfdsd些被拒絕，被剝奪或摧毀的基本需求的人們找到了一種生活方式，並繼續將其DNA融入不斷發展的人類社會。. 說到食物，不要以為那些被拒絕的人只吃垃圾。相反，他們學會了在被忽視的肉類和蔬菜中尋找營養。他們學會了清潔，切塊，調味和慢燉慢燉的野菜和肉類，在食品``
Ikr 🥺 she is such a good person and an EXCELLENT mum!
Absolutely
Exactly, crying from this comment
Wesley started the labour process. She was absolutely not ready to come out yet. It makes sense that Wesley was further along in development and got to come home quicker. But don’t let Wesley coming home early let you crowd your judgement on Maisy needing the time. I know it’s hard but she’s still developing. She’s not even meant to be out yet, focus on those extra cuddles for now. She’ll be home soon ❤️
this comment puts it in such good perspective!!
Can we bump this comment to the top somehow?
This. Chin up Colleen. Being patient for the sake of Maisy is the key to her coming home. Babies develop in their own time, please let the doctors and nurses ease your mind by letting them get to the point where Maisy can come home safe in your arms 💜 love and strength to you each minute of each hour of each day to you and your amazing family
BUMP!
this is exactly what i keep wanting to say. Wesley was always the bigger one in the womb, its normal for twins to be at developmentally different places, Maisey was the furthest thing from ready, she just needs longer.
She simply isn’t ready yet. She wasn’t ready to be delivered, and she is taking her time getting comfortable and growing. They’re different beings and grow differently, you can’t compare them because they are always going to be different. You’re an amazing mother, and letting yourself realize she is different and is doing it her way will help in the long run
This. One baby will walk first. One will talk first. They are different people. Hang in there, she'll get there xx
One day you'll tell your babies the story of how they came home, and you will replace all of this pain with new memories and love and crafts. I was in the NICU for four months and everything turned out okay. It was hard but it wasn't forever. Love you Colleen.
Okay
th-cam.com/video/zuK1qwWY-2g/w-d-xo.html
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------💜 NUDE.SNAPGIRLS.TODAY/PIIT
𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥 💜
THREE IN ONE
L...❤❤❤...
TH-cam: THIS IS FINE.
THREE IN ONE
SOMEONE: SAYS ''HECK''.
TH-cam: BE GONE
Life's story is a short journey so have fun before sleeping forever
#Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде
#однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков .#垃圾.
Megan: ''Hotter''
Hopi: ''Sweeter''
Joonie: ''Cooler''
Yoongi: ''Butter''
Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались.
Megan: "Hotter"
Hopi: "Sweeter"
Joonie: "Cooler"
Yoongi: "Butter" .
ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！今後は気を付けないとね. .
!💖🖤❤️#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！#１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！ #１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！ #まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #垃圾 今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした,. 💖🖤在整個人類歷史上，強者，富人和具有狡猾特質的人捕食部落，氏族，城鎮，城市和鄉村中的弱者，無`'守和貧窮成員。然而，人類的生存意願迫使那sfdsd些被拒絕，被剝奪或摧毀的基本需求的人們找到了一種生活方式，並繼續將其DNA融入不斷發展的人類社會。. 說到食物，不要以為那些被拒絕的人只吃垃圾。相反，他們學會了在被忽視的肉類和蔬菜中尋找營養。他們學會了清潔，切塊，調味和慢燉慢燉的野菜和肉類，在食品``
do you know why you stay there for so long??? Like really there is nothing doctors can do to get the baby out kicker??? It was all up to you??? How did your parents do it??
@@zairabandy8695 they probably came very early. Or had developmental delays maybe. Some babies are born before 30 weeks and can’t do anything on their own at all yet.
I was 10 weeks early, 2 pounds, and in the NICU for 2 months :(
NICU MAMA HERE
Hi Colleen, sweet mama. You said it right “I think it’s something that just sucks.” That’s exactly it. It just sucks. I PROMISE YOU IT IS WORTH IT. She is worth it, it will be ok. Picture yourself this summer laying in the backyard, babies rolling around, Flynn jumping in the pool with dada. Such a beautiful image, hold onto it!
This should be the top comment
I was picturing as I was reading
+
Yes!! I don’t have babies in the nicu but what I’m going through right now in life this helped me to picture the moments that I will have that Hod promised me once I’m thought this
@@joannaandrews4780 Yes!! Hold on tight to those images! You'll get there!
You have to remember that Maisy is fine and that she’s totally unaware that she’s by herself in the room and she’s not thinking about missing Xmas morning. You are so exhausted and that makes all your thoughts so much bigger! You will look back at this one day and really see it. You are such an awesome mother!
She is overTIRED; therefore, she is overly emotional. She needs to not worry about when Maisey will be home; she should just enjoy the time she has with Flynn, Wesley, Eric and her family. Maisey is on her own time, so she should just be patient. Christmas can be emotional for many people, so I know that Colleen’s emotions are working overtime.
@@Tami_L96 Oh shut up
@@Tami_L96 oh please, YOUR opinion is irrelevant
@@Tami_L96 they’re trying to reassure Colleen.
I’m a former NICU mom and OP is 100% correct ;).
My family is praying that your baby girl will be home sooner than expected. Praying for your Christmas miracle 🎄🙏
same! she will come
She will come!!!
Baby Maisy is going to be compared to Wesley her whole life, she was born with a built in set of expectations and as much as it’s almost impossible, I think the best think to remember is that you don’t have to hold those expectations for her. She is physically swallowing and things seem okay, so now she’s just waiting for that mental leap to get her motor skills where they need to be. She seems like a fighter, like a soul that wouldn’t fall short of a challenge, as long as you give her the space to surprise you. Good luck and I’m rooting for her and you!
Well said!!
So well said, thank you for existing
Boosting this wonderful comment ❤️
As an identical twin myself who has had society put these comparisons and expectations on me , I could not have said that better. As much as I cannot fathom how difficult this is, I think the “why” is that she is a unique individual to her brother and is on her own timeline. Sending you all of my love Colleen 💛
@@courtneyzaccagna8508 I am a twin too - not identical, but we look a lot alike, and the comparison + expectation thing is...so real. Maisy is her own person
When my niece was in the nicu, we put a bead on a necklace for every day she was there. That way as she grows up, she has a reminder that she is strong and can get through anything. Maybe you and Maisy (and Wesley) could have matching necklaces to remind yourselves that you are strong and can get through anything.
That is such an amazing idea, I love it
I love this idea
for some reason i feel like thatd make colleen sad to see a physical representation of the time maisy isnt home
I love this!!!
@@DianaD113 perhaps but each bead could also represent another day closer to Maisy coming home
My preemie had the same feeding issue! Doctors said that she would just “figure it out one day” and you know what… they were right. They are just SO sleepy and it takes them a while to really figure it out. Please have the nurses experiment with nipple flows, my daughter did best on the “newborn” flow rather than preemie. It’s fully up to you, but I personally made the decision in the final weeks of her stay to pause the breastfeeding and just practice bottles so that she could get the green light to go home faster, since BFing seemed to just tire her out. I promise you, she will come home before you know it and you will be so happy to be done with this time in your life. Please take care of yourself 💗
I hope she sees this!
Yes. I work with horses in veterinary medicine and we have a syndrome in foals where they aren’t strong or aware enough to nurse. A vet created what’s called the “Madigan squeeze” where we apply pressure around the chest with a harness. This “wakes” them up bc in the womb all the hormones prevent them from running around in there. The squeeze of the birth canal triggers them to “wake up” essentially. The squeeze simulates the birth canal. And these are full term offspring. Maisy isn’t. This is going to take time bc she was so premature compared to her brother.
Same!! A NICU nurse came up to me and said “when you are here just bottle feed so he doesn’t get tired and he will go home faster.” So I breastfed only a few times a week. Breastfeeding really tires them out and then they have a hard time with bottles
Bump
Great Advice! 💚💚
I wonder about their birth order and the fact that Wesley was so ready to come into the world while Maisy was warm, comfy, and cozy.. not ready to leave the womb. She might just still be in that state of mind. And when she gets closer to her due date, all her instincts will just kick in suddenly & she'll come home! 🙏🏼✨
Actually good point just cause he kicked his way out doesn't mean she was ready to come out
It’s important to remember that Maisy wasnt ready to be born when she was. Wesley broke his water and she had no choice but to come out too. You’re not a mad momma, your worries reflect how amazing of a mom you are ♥️
❤❤
We all needed to read this ❤
❤
You are speaking such truth about this situation.
The twins weren’t supposed to come out until after Christmas. Maisy just isn’t ready for the wide world yet, but she will get there. You are not a bad mom. If anything, you are a super mom since you not only visit Maisy every day, but still have time for your boys as well. ❤️
I’m a NICU nurse… & it’s so hard to explain, but every single preemie is different, even siblings. I can tell parents what I’ve seen before & what to kind of expect but it will always change & always be different. Babies are the boss!! As NICU nurses we focus on eating being fun & enjoyable. If she’s not ready, it’s best to not push her. She’ll get there!
Thank you so much for sharing 💖
Bump
Thank you so much for helping out!
Maisy is a FIGHTER. She’s human, and we all need a small break every once in a while. I think that Maisy is taking a small break to gain even more strength. Your 3 babies are BEAUTIFUL and cute!
As the baby who was slower than her twin brother, I'm so sorry you're feeling so upset with yourself. You're feelings of sadness for dear Maisy is valid. Wesley was the one who broke his water, and the same happened with my brother. Maisy and I just weren't as ready as our brothers. My thoughts are with you and the babies. You're so strong and beautiful. Keep doing what you can, that's all that matters.
🙌🏼❤️❤️❤️
same thing happened to me
Colleen has a bad case of the "Shoulds".
The truth is, neither of them _should_ even be out of her body, yet.
So, Maisy is not behind, Wesley is ahead of...
Say wait a minute Clio.
_Babies_ can't write TH-cam comments. 😒
What are you trying to pull, here?
@@TheNoiseySpectator I think she was talking about when she was born
I've seen so many comments from NICU mommas but not so many, if any from former NICU babies themselves!!!! A lovely comment Cilo❤️❤️❤️
"I don't know how people do this. How do you do this?" You're doing it, mama. You're DOING IT. You'll make it through. Cry, cry all you need, get those emotions out into the world, process them in any way you can. And keep moving forward. You'll make it past this and someday soon it will be a distant memory. Rooting for you every step of the way. One step at a time.
THIS. this. this. this.
Cheers to this! It is so hard to see when you are in the fog, but you are DOING it mama. And you are doing it so well! ❤
This 💜
😍🥰
This is beautiful ❤️
Colleen, you are over tired. You are a wonderful mother. Maisy will be home soon. Have confidence. She has no health deficits. There are many pokey eaters. She is over 6 pounds, she can gain slowly now. Just try to get more rest. Insomnia can really undermine your mental health. Trust you are doing great. You have a great team, Erik, your mom, Coco, etc. These kids ( infants and toddler) won’t recall this as a bad time at all. Give yourself a break and RELAX!
All this. And also remember the hormones from your pregnancy are still also wrecking havoc for months afterwards.
I want to hug you so BAD.
me too
as glennon doyle once said “Every time I’ve said to myself “I can’t take this anymore” - I was wrong.”
you can do this. you are incredible
Colleen, the worst thing that happened to a lot of folks is losing grandparents and parents during the pandemic, losing their jobs, unable to have kids --- please get some perspective. NONE of your kids are suffering, and they are beautiful, healthy babies who should not be compared to each other. You are clearly very stressed in a way that you don't need to be - please do get help, I mean this in a compassionate way. You are not reacting in a manner that seems healthy.
@@acidicascetic this ^^^^^
@asceticacid also to your point that she hasn't lost anything: there are always worse fortunes people have to deal with. But as some people say: whether the water you're drowning in is 20 or 90 foot deep - you're still drowning. I'm sure she has that perspective and she keeps expressing gratitude for her babies being healthy; still, it sucks. I think those emotions and reactions are valid.
Just wanted to share my thoughts, i hope you won't read this as any form of attack
@@olivependergast9311 Thanks Olive! My point is merely that her reaction doesn’t seem healthy and she may need to get help if this situation seems so profoundly dire and miserable to her.
@@acidicascetic She is reacting in a HUMAN way. Almost anyone going through this would react the same way, even if they say they won’t. Individual pain isn’t mitigated by thinking about how others may “have it worse”, so cut it with that. You lack compassion and empathy, and while Colleen could maybe use a therapist as an additional outlet who could give her other healthy coping mechanisms, you need the help of a therapist to awaken kindness and empathy within you.
Colleen, I'm a NICU RN, first of all you're doing amazing and you will get through this! I'm wondering if there is a feeding team at your hospital? Have they tried different type of bottles for her? Sometimes they do better with a different type! Ask your nurses if this hasn't been done yet! ❤️
I was wondering if at some point they will consider send her home with the feeding tube? If that's the only thing preventing her from being home
Boosting this so she can see!
Boostin’
i loved this comment
Boosting this!
Colleen, I’m not sure what your hospital’s policy is on this, but in my NICU, I saw babies going home with NG tubes if the parents were willing to learn how to use it. My daughter was sent home at 37 weeks on a heart monitor because we were willing to learn to use that until her bradycardia of prematurity resolved. You may be able to ask if it’s possible to bring her home on the tube and pump until she’s ready. We just had to have a nurse visit us at home once a week to make sure everything was going well
Bump!!!
Yesss bump!! She needs to see this and advocate for this
@@jesilee1301 I agree!!! ❤❤❤
Agreed!!!!!
Bump! I was sent home with a tube 25 years ago as a preemie. I know it may differ now because of the time and covid, but I know it helped my mom to have me home for her piece of mind, not to mention my growth in learning how to eat and be a normal baby.
Colleen listen, I know you probably won’t read this but as a NICU mama i can tell you: it will get better. Always remember “everything is temporary“ and just a stage…Think absolut all the cool stuff you will do when all your kids are united❤️you’re doing an amazing job😘 so proud of you ❤️❤️
the fact that you think you’re a bad mom because of this situation shows how AMAZING of a mom you are. you care about your babies SO deeply and love them more than anything.
So true she really is. All her feelings are valid and Maisy will be home when she's ready.
amazing i mean
It’s called attention seeking
@@amaya6824 what a horrible thing to say. she’s a mother who is going through a very very tough time and sharing it to help other NICU mamas know theyre not alone. i hope you never become a parent.
As someone who has to work a lot of holidays, I learned years ago that your personal celebration doesn’t have to be tied to a date on the calendar. If you can’t imagine doing Christmas morning without Maisy, then don’t. Do something scaled back for Flynn, and go all out once everyone is together. Try not to stress about everything not being perfect. The imperfect parts aren’t what anyone is going to remember a year from now.
This!
This!!! Military too. We were ready to celebrate thanksgiving in august
I love this! ✨
THIS!
Nice! I hope She sees this comment! Great advice!
Maybe a way to think of Maisy still being at the hospital cause she’s a “premie” is because Wes was ready to come out he’s the one who popped the water. Maisy was still needing to cook in there. I can understand the feeling of wanting to fast forward and it’s so difficult when you can do nothing but endure life. Even though the days are gunna be hard time will always go by and there will be good moments that help that time move along :) you’ll get through it Colleen
These are my exact thoughts. Wesley was the one who broke her water and Maisy only came out because she had to. Also it's so common for one twin to be more advanced than the other one because they just hog everything in utero.
This!
Colleen, please go back and watch your psychic video about the twins. Has it occurred to you that everything she said about Maisy’s speech could in fact have been about her eating? She refers to her “holding her mouth”, being later to reach milestones etc. She literally says “there’ll be moments where you’re thinking ‘What’s wrong with her??’, but she’s FINE”. I believe Maisy is absolutely fine and will be home with you before you know it- you’re being so strong.
I've been following your whole journey & let me tell you....my Mama heart breaks with you every single time you're crying!! sending you so much love!! xo
Right Miss C you need to listen now! You can not do it ALL! If you burn yourself out you will be no good to anyone! No sleep with all this back and forth!! Are you kidding me, that is not safe for any of you. If you’re insisting on pumping after feeding the baby then someone else is going to have to feed him in the night or someone else is going to have clean your bottles and pump when you finish or maybe give yourself a break and use formula there should no feelings of failure that’s what the stuff is made for! Why, once you’ve put that new milk away are you cleaning up in the night anyway? There’s really no need Just leave it and sleep!!! I’m telling you this from experience of someone who nearly killed her self doing more or less the same as you! I made my self so Ill!!! I’ve watched it time and time again as I now offer support to others who are suffering!! YOU CAN NOT DO THIS ALONE WITH NO SLEEP YOU WILL BE VERY ILL!!!!
Either pay for extra support at night or ask people to help like your mum etc they can take it different days, use formula as as good as your milk is it’s USELESS if you’re Burt out and ill!! You have nothing to prove we can’t do it all! You can not do this alone!!! You don’t need to…It takes a village to raise a baby as they say!!
@@naimorgs I agree with you wow you wrote a lot😐😐😐😐
You and colleens channels have helped me a lot with my anxiety and struggles when it comes to being a mom. It helps me know I’m not alone
@@naimorgs Yes rest Colleen you have dark, dark circles under your eyes. Your not looking to well. Dont try to do everything, you have Eric and your mom there and they will help you. Take the help.
@@andshewas296 I’ve been hoping she gets a good sleep she’s looked like this for about a week & I hope she takes a TH-cam break she needs it.
The fact that other people have it worse doesn’t minimize your pain. You’re doing an AMAZING job, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
THIS.
You’re allowed to feel heartbroken. Just because a different situation could be “worse” doesn’t mean your situation isn’t hard and draining for you. You don’t have to justify being sad. Love you and waiting for the moment your family is together and you can breathe again.
100%. Everything could always be “worse” but that doesn’t make anyones feelings less valid!
This made me think of the following quote: "There is no secret. You endure what is unbearable and you bear it. That is all." (written by Cassandra Clare)
I wish I could fix things for you, Colleen, but I can't and I have no clue how to make it better. Sending you a thousand hugs and good vibes ❤️
The fact that you care so deeply, proves you’re an AMAZING mom.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------💜 NUDE.SNAPGIRLS.TODAY/PIIT
𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥 💜
THREE IN ONE
L...❤❤❤...
TH-cam: THIS IS FINE.
THREE IN ONE
SOMEONE: SAYS ''HECK''.
TH-cam: BE GONE
Life's story is a short journey so have fun before sleeping forever
#Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде
#однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков .#垃圾.
Megan: ''Hotter''
Hopi: ''Sweeter''
Joonie: ''Cooler''
Yoongi: ''Butter''
Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались.
Megan: "Hotter"
Hopi: "Sweeter"
Joonie: "Cooler"
Yoongi: "Butter" .
ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！今後は気を付けないとね. .
!💖🖤❤️#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！#１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！ #１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！ #まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #垃圾 今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした,. 💖🖤在整個人類歷史上，強者，富人和具有狡猾特質的人捕食部落，氏族，城鎮，城市和鄉村中的弱者，無`'守和貧窮成員。然而，人類的生存意願迫使那sfdsd些被拒絕，被剝奪或摧毀的基本需求的人們找到了一種生活方式，並繼續將其DNA融入不斷發展的人類社會。. 說到食物，不要以為那些被拒絕的人只吃垃圾。相反，他們學會了在被忽視的肉類和蔬菜中尋找營養。他們學會了清潔，切塊，調味和慢燉慢燉的野菜和肉類，在食品``
Amen!!!! 😊
@@faniapita6169 bro wtf... stop??? this is so inappropriate
@@amalshaikh2292 its a bot
So true
Twins or not every baby’s different honestly. She will get better she’ll skyrocket she’s amazing. Don’t worry, Wes IS a premie but he’s not maisy. No one is Maisy but her. ❤️
I agree
She knows that, she just sad about it.
Hi colleen!
Remember when the psychic said baby girl would take longer to hit milestones, but not worry because she's still perfectly fine? She was right, again. Maisy is being the sweet girl boss and taking her time. That in no way makes you a bad mom. You are amazing and strong
Did she actually say that? Wow 🤩
oh honey, you are NOT a bad mom. you are doing YOUR BEST, and Erik is doing HIS BEST. you all are doing the best you can. you are still human, and what you're feeling is valid.
Colleen, I’m not a doctor but my family friend is and she offered up some advice. I asked her since you’re looking for more than just a “it’ll click” response:
By 35-37 weeks, a preterm baby should exhibit sucking-swallowing-breathing coordination in a 1-1-1 or a 2-2-1 ratio. If you see there are inconsistencies (maybe Maisy is finding it difficult to breathe in between for example), perhaps ask the NICU nurses if they can use M-CNSA to see if there are indeed inconsistencies in the coordination. There are apparently case studies where the baby showed signs of a nasal blockage, so they removed the NG tube and used neosynephrene & a humidifier to treat the baby- after which the baby was able to perform rhythmic sucking.
Also she said to add color to why the nurses say “one day it will click”: She says the baby has to go through so many phases, from developing the physical structures necessary to oral feed, to practicing non-nutritive sucking and finally to nutritive sucking where the baby has to perform both expression and suction in a rhythmic way. The rhythm is controlled by the central pattern generators in the brain, so naturally the more mature the CPGs, the better she can get at all of these things. This may explain for why there’s a difference in pace between Wesley and Maisy. SO all that to say- Sounds like Maisy is gradually learning how to consistently perform nutritive sucking and is most likely doing JUST FINE but just needs a little bit more time
I hope she sees this 🤍🤍🤍
Wow - all of this seems like really good advice, but especially the part about not setting Christmas as an imaginary deadline. It’s going to be hard no matter what time of year to have her stay even longer in the hospital, but adding in the pressure of her going home for the holidays might feel like it’s taking even longer and making it more frustrating/draining. Trying not to make it harder on yourself by holding onto that timeline seems like it would so much gentler on yourself and your little ladybug. Patience and her mother’s love will get her home whenever she’s ready.
Boosting so hopefully she sees 💗
Boostingggggg
Best comment I’ve ever read. I hope Colleen sees it!
As a twin, try not to compare your lovely twins. They are different, unique people and so they are healing and growing differently. Maisy needs a little time but she will come home mama! Twins are some of the strongest babies
I am a twin too! I always hated getting compared to my sister. I am a completely separate person. So I agree with what you say
Hi Colleen, I was a preemie baby and was born 8 weeks early with my twin brother. My twin brother was born first and my mum had us both in he NICU too. My brother progressed quicker than me and he was born first. I think just like all babies developmental goals like talking, walking, etc each baby is an individual and there is a range, of course you know all this. It's hard not to compare because Wesley is home but Maisy will of course get there. This is hard right now having to split your time and I personally think you should be so proud of yourself. Sending love and support, this time will pass. There is always darkness before the Dawn. Big love and cuddles to all of you.
This 100% needs to be boosted so Colleen can see! Thank you for sharing your perspective
This is everything 🙌❤
Commenting to boost this comment!!
❤️❤️❤️
Can we appreciate Colleen’s mom for a second? She’s letting Colleen hold Wesley while she cleans up the house for Colleen! DREAM VISITOR! Always let mama hold her baby while you do the chores for them so they don’t have to stress!😍💕
I wish I had this so bad. Everyone came to hold the baby and I did the cleaning. 🥴
I think the reason Maisy can't grasp it is simply bc she's a different person, her brain works differently and that's not a bad thing she might just not be there yet. And ik you've heard it a thousand times but she WILL come home. I understand how much this hurts but this hell will pass and you'll get to move on and see these amazing, strong, adorable babies become their own person. Also your doing so amazing, you're such a great mom wheather you believe it or not we all know that it's true. One day you'll look back at these times mabey as the hardest and worst days, but also as the days that made you stronger. Sending love❤️
she's a calm quite genius who's gonna make everyone damn proud.. love
The staff who are saying "it will just click one day" are right. It's just the way of the preemie world. My Baby B was a very lazy eater and was taking very little by mouth maybe 25-30%. One day it was like someone flipped a switch and he started eating all on his own. It'll be the same for Maizy. Be prepared because Baby B is the wildcard! They may just call you to pick her up tomorrow!
+ bump
💗💗
Same I work in a NICU and just one day they figure it out in there time
Twin hormones are very different…. It will feel like absolute peace when they are together again. Our twins were separated for two weeks and 2 hours away from each other. I thought I would never be ok again but it’s been a beautiful two years and that pain is gone. You are a extremely strong and a amazing mama.❤️ We also told them we weren’t messing around and we were taking her home so get every doctor in the room to get on the same page. We all in that room made our plan. We changed bottles, we changed formula, we mixed breast milk and formula we told everyone to leave so we could feed her peacefully we had alarms turned down so she was calm. You will find your plan mama
Poor I u got one of those horrible bot comments :(
I love how Colleen always asks Flynn "Can I eat this one?" because it's his candy. That's so cool that she teaches him that he can decide over his own things
And teaching him manners about asking/sharing
As a home health nurse I wish they would just let you do the tube feeding at home. You could totally do it after training. I have taken care of babies with there parents doing tube feeding at home. My heart breaks so bad for you. I don't think I have ever wanted to give someone a hug so bad before. I Understand you are feeling like you suck, but we all see you are truly doing amazing with the cards you have been dealt. Love you!!!🥰🥰🥰
Bump!!!
Yes! I do not understand why they aren’t!
Bump
BUMP!
Bump
Hey Colleen, this isn't exactly advice, but something we did as a family this year was have Christmas on our own timeline. Due to some health issues in the family and the desire to have everyone together, we did Christmas two weeks early, and last year we did it two weeks late for the same reasons. Christmas morning was perfect and complete- even if it wasn't on the 25th. Of course not everyone has such flexibility around the holidays, but it's an option we have and it's a great solution for our family.
Yaaay or 2 Christmas plz n tyty... Great Advice.
The fact that you are so upset is normal but you also have to understand that you are only thinking about yourself with this whole story Maisie does not know that there is a Christmas you are putting that burden upon yourself Maisy does not know that there is a home waiting for her you are putting that stress on yourself and transferring that stress to everybody else you're transferring that stress over to your other kids the rest of your family and all of us Maisie is safe Maisy is in hospital because she has to be the fact that you want her home earlier and very selfish because you are taking a chance away for her to get stronger you are wanting her home for yourself and the longer she stays in the hospital the stronger she'll get under the proper care if something were to happen at home because you brought her home to early that's on you you would never forgive yourself you need to stop being so selfish you need to start thinking about Maisy your daughter her health and you are only wanting her to be home so that you can have it easier so that you can have your Christmas she doesn't know about that only you do you are the only one with stress you are the only one being selfish right now you need to think about that and put your daughter first before yourself I am not saying this to be cruel I'm saying this because if you look at it from a different perspective you will feel much better please try it please think about it
@@justsayinhi dude she’s not saying that she wants her to go home early and not get the care that she needs she just wants Maisy to not need that extra care and be able to go home-
@theinquirer13 I KNOW RIGHT. That's the longest run on sentence I've ever seen
@@justsayinhi I think your message is very, very hurtful and not helpful at all. I really hope Colleen doesn't see it.
just like the psychic said don’t be worried if it takes baby girl longer to hit milestones, nothing is wrong with her! You can get through this Colleen! Hope little maisy comes home soon 🥺
She did say that and she’s always been right!
Omg yes she did!💕
I was coming here hoping that someone had said this.
OH MY GOOD GOSH SHE DID SAY THAT!!!! I didn’t believe it at first but HOLY SHIZZ EVERYTHING SO FAR HAS BEEN RIGHT!!!
I keep thinking that too. Hold on Colleen! She'll be home soon.
Just thought about the fact that the cats names are very similar to the babies, and I'm here for it. Daisy=Maisy Gus= Wes ❣️
No wonder I was so confused, my airhead preggo brain literally thought they named their daughter after their cat 🙈
I can’t imagine how hard this is on you. Praying baby girl gets to come home soon
Okay
th-cam.com/video/zuK1qwWY-2g/w-d-xo.html
Aa
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------💜 NUDE.SNAPGIRLS.TODAY/PIIT
𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥 💜
THREE IN ONE
L...❤❤❤...
TH-cam: THIS IS FINE.
THREE IN ONE
SOMEONE: SAYS ''HECK''.
TH-cam: BE GONE
Life's story is a short journey so have fun before sleeping forever
#Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде
#однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков .#垃圾.
Megan: ''Hotter''
Hopi: ''Sweeter''
Joonie: ''Cooler''
Yoongi: ''Butter''
Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались.
Megan: "Hotter"
Hopi: "Sweeter"
Joonie: "Cooler"
Yoongi: "Butter" .
ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！今後は気を付けないとね. .
!💖🖤❤️#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！#１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！ #１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！ #まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #垃圾 今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした,. 💖🖤在整個人類歷史上，強者，富人和具有狡猾特質的人捕食部落，氏族，城鎮，城市和鄉村中的弱者，無`'守和貧窮成員。然而，人類的生存意願迫使那sfdsd些被拒絕，被剝奪或摧毀的基本需求的人們找到了一種生活方式，並繼續將其DNA融入不斷發展的人類社會。. 說到食物，不要以為那些被拒絕的人只吃垃圾。相反，他們學會了在被忽視的肉類和蔬菜中尋找營養。他們學會了清潔，切塊，調味和慢燉慢燉的野菜和肉類，在食品``
Ikr
Me tooooo!!!! 🙌
You are literally splitting yourself in four trying to be an equal good mom to the three of them AND working in the meantime. Please be gentle with yourself, you are doing the best you can and it is enough. ❤️ When I was in the NICU my mum was very underweight because she had had a problem with her placenta towards the end of the pregnancy and she lost a lot of blood during delivery. It was so cold and she kept coming to the NICU every day against medical advice because she was in a fragile state and she needed to rest. Then she told me “Chiara, get stronger soon so you can come home with me” and within days I was gaining weight and was out. I must have understood what she meant!❤️ Things are getting better, I know it. I will pray for Maisie to come home super soon. you can do this Coleen.
@@faniapita6169 what the-
@@faniapita6169 no wtf
@@LolahBlue It's a bot. Just report them.
Mothers love will always prevail through everything
It's okay girl, Masie is developing she's taking her own time to get better. She's strong, she just needs you to be strong for her. Remember she was the weakest, she's trying her best, she's not going to let you down
That's such a sweet comment ❤
Maisy. Like Daisy
"I would ask for advice, but I don't think there is advice to be given in this situation right now. I think it just sucks." Colleen, you couldn't have hit the nail harder with the hammer on how I feel lately. I lost my dad to a terminal illness a couple days before your twins were born, and I have been his caregiver for the last four years. I even dropped out of college to care for him when covid hit and mainly focused on working at the hospital and caring for him. I'm only 24 and Thanksgiving was just gut-wrenching for me without him, and with Christmas and my sister and I's birthdays in January coming up it's just devastating to think he won't be here. When you say it gets worse every day leaving Maisy at the hospital, that's how I feel waking up without having to care for my dad. I know I'm supposed to be young and enjoy life while I can, but to have a world without him in it just feels like a nightmare. I miss him so much and I would give anything to hear him laugh and hug me one last time. I can only relate so much because I have never been a mom, never mind a NICU mama, but as a healthcare worker and a daughter I feel your pain so much. And I am so thankful I can cry with you and know you feel a similar emptiness even at home and lack of control in your life right now. I am praying Maisy comes home sooner than later, sounds like you have a stubborn beautiful little girl on your hands along with your two boys. Praying for you all the time, and sending all the love.
i’m so sorry for your loss & you are an amazing person!!! i’m a healthcare worker too & family members who are caretakers are super hero’s!! i can’t imagine losing my dad and i’m sending you lots of love!!!
I’m so so sorry for your loss. Sending you so much love.
Aww I’m so sorry for your loss I hope you feel better
Colleen, don’t minimize your feelings. This is HARD and a really, really stressful time for you. You’re also EXHAUSTED.
Sending you so much love. As a NICU mama, all I can say is I understand. Hugs mama ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Awww the little sounds Maisy makes in her sleep proves she’s genuinely happy. You are doing great Colleen and you are so strong!!! Whenever beautiful Maisy gets to come home and your babies are together all this pain will go away and you will be so extremely happy!! You got this!!!
Please like this so it gets to the top so colleen sees this!!!
Our nicu told me that if you switch between breast feeding and bottle feeding it confuses them and they take way longer to learn how to eat! I understand you want to breastfeed because it’s so important but bottle feeding would get her home faster! I love you so much. You have so many people that have your back. 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
"I'm thinking of a vehicle" had me smiling from ear to ear. Flynn knows so much more about vehicles than me 😃
While Maisy and Wesley are twins they’re not going to progress the exact same. They’re different babies so they’ll hit their milestones at different times. That’s why she’s not home yet. I know it must be so hard but like the nurses say you just have to wait for it to click with her. Sending love❤️❤️
If I were you, I’d push Christmas back to when she’s home and just act like it hasn’t happened yet. Flynn’s too young to know what day it is. It might help your heart to wait.
I was thinking the same thing. Christmas doesn't have to be the 25 it can be any day you want it to be. I know you feel that was as you has Christmas for bday and you had Christmas last year in summer! So whenever you celebrate it, it will be magical. I know it's not the same but if this pandemic has taught me anything celebration can happen whenever however.
My heart goes out to you and your family.
GREAT idea... the actual "date" doesn't matter! We did that for Easter + my son's bay that followed right after, one year when he was really ill. Nearly a month later, on one weekend & then the following. No one but those of us there, ever knew or felt ANY difference... most of all, my son. + Tbh, if anything, looking back.. made it stand out in my memory & even more special.
Great idea!!!!
Or just celebrating twice
The situation absolutely sucks but YOU do not suck as a mother. There's literally nothing more you could be doing right now. Go easy on yourself & know that Flynn is resilient and will get through this time even if he doesn't have his usual level of attention. It's going to be ok 💕
This comment right here 😭
Colleen babe, with all the love in the world, they are two completely different human beings. You gotta stop comparing them NOW or you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment. She is not Wesley, or anyone else, so THAT is why she is still where she is at. She will be ready in her own time.
This!!!
She’s really just wanting them both home, I don’t at all think she’s setting herself up for a lifetime of disappointment? Do you think Colleen, which is literally the most understanding and accepting parent I’ve ever seen, would continue to compare them? She’s even said she’s okay with her children being trans, and always brings up that they can decide and figure out for themselves & that she will love them no matter what.
I can see without a doubt that she’s just upset that one came home, and the other didn’t. It’s hard when both are born at the same time and start life together, then having to leave one behind? That sucks. I just don’t think it’s fair to say she’s setting herself up for a lifetime of disappointment by saying she just wishes they were both home .
@@BrookeKatherine. I do think also that she’s an amazing mother and there’s no doubt that she loves her children, but stopping the comparison will spare her mental health, as well as theirs.
Colleen, you are NOT a bad mother! You have the patience of a saint. I am constantly judging my parenting when I watch you with your kids. I get frustrated constantly and you seem to always be calm and amazing. My second baby was in the NICU for two weeks. It’s awful, but it will be over soon. Please be gentle with yourself. Xoxoxo
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------💜 NUDE.SNAPGIRLS.TODAY/PIIT
𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥 💜
THREE IN ONE
L...❤❤❤...
TH-cam: THIS IS FINE.
THREE IN ONE
SOMEONE: SAYS ''HECK''.
TH-cam: BE GONE
Life's story is a short journey so have fun before sleeping forever
#Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде
#однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков .#垃圾.
Megan: ''Hotter''
Hopi: ''Sweeter''
Joonie: ''Cooler''
Yoongi: ''Butter''
Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались.
Megan: "Hotter"
Hopi: "Sweeter"
Joonie: "Cooler"
Yoongi: "Butter" .
ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！今後は気を付けないとね. .
!💖🖤❤️#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！#１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！ #１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！ #まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #垃圾 今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね！１万人を超える人が見ていたもん（笑）やっぱり人参最高！まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした,. 💖🖤在整個人類歷史上，強者，富人和具有狡猾特質的人捕食部落，氏族，城鎮，城市和鄉村中的弱者，無`'守和貧窮成員。然而，人類的生存意願迫使那sfdsd些被拒絕，被剝奪或摧毀的基本需求的人們找到了一種生活方式，並繼續將其DNA融入不斷發展的人類社會。. 說到食物，不要以為那些被拒絕的人只吃垃圾。相反，他們學會了在被忽視的肉類和蔬菜中尋找營養。他們學會了清潔，切塊，調味和慢燉慢燉的野菜和肉類，在食品``
Hey Colleen, don't know if this will be helpful at all, but a lot studies I've read say that fraternal twins are known to develop at a different pace more than identical twins. So Maisy just needs some more time than Wesley but it's perfectly ok. I know doctors may have already told you this, and really nothing anyone can say will make this any better for you, but it will be over soon and your family will be reunited again ❤
Fraternal twins are not always conceived at the same time, so that makes sense. They're even cases of them being conceived weeks apart, Maisie could actually be younger than Wesley.
@@MollyPrewittWeasley That's really weird to think about lol :D
Someone pointed out too, that it was Wesley who broke Colleen's water. Maisy came out because she had no choice, so it could be that she needed a bit more time to develop and thus why Wesley is a bit ahead.
You’re really tired hunny, remember that your lack of sleep is factoring into these feelings 💙 you’ve got this Colleen!!!
Yes she needs at least four hours of sleep a day especially with the emotions running high ! I’m super worried about her :(
she needs a pause
And hormones!
just regular lack off sleep can make a person depressed, but with additional stress it is almost guaranteed
@@Kaykay04822 i don't think that a few minutes of vlogging is the problem. besides: it makes her happy anyways
I work with preemies on their development after they’re discharged from the NICU, and I can tell you it is 100% normal for preemies to have differences in their development. That absolutely includes feeding. It’s a super tough skill to learn and while it is wonderful that it clicked for Wesley and he came home, it’s also normal that it is taking Maisy some more time, especially since she was smaller. Later on, you might see this continue with Wes doing some things ahead of Maisy. But she may also be doing different things ahead of Wes, like how she seems to be more interactive and have more awake alert periods! I also see a pattern in their development for other things where they seem like they’re just not doing something, like sitting up or crawling, and then right when their families are super worried one day it just clicks and they can sit or crawl or whatever it is! It may be hard to see that she’s making progress, but she is building strength, coordination, and endurance with each feeding and you’ll see it soon! You are right, it totally sucks and is unfair that she’s not home, but she is okay and (unfortunately) from what I see in my work is that twins go home separately more often than they go home together. I don’t know how you and other parents do it when it happens, but they all do, and I see everything good that comes after and it will be wonderful when it happens for you and your family. You are doing so amazing with these tiny babies and managing your time between everywhere you need to be. All of your babies look so loved, which is the #1 that they need and a thing that no one but their parents can give them.
As a NICU mom, it feels like you are a bad mom but you aren't. It is absolute hell. Vent. Speak your feelings so they don't bottle up. Naturally, we feel like we are the ultimate provider for children but realistically, sometimes they need additional help. Your journey isn't going the way you wanted to but because of your platform, your journey can help others. I didn't have anyone that went through this when I did. That's was 2009. Maisy will come home, you have 3 beautiful amazing kids and you are helping out so many mamas. It's hard to find silver linings, but there's a few to focus on.
If she’s not home by Christmas, just have another Christmas! Make it even cooler!
I was thinking the same! Just re-do Christmas whenever Marist gets home. I know Colleen could go allllll out too. ❤️
* Maisy!! Autocorrect 🤦🏼♀️
THISSS. Colleen has done Christmas in July, why not Christmas in February??? The stress of the Christmas deadline is the one thing she can control- throw another Christmas on Maisy-time :)
I was also going to add that these babies including Flynn have no concept of the date so just wait to celebrate Christmas after Maisy comes home.
I love that. Didn't they celebrate Christmas in August once? They could totally do another when she comes home.
I've never wanted to hug someone I've never met so badly. You got this Colleen, and we're all pulling for Maisy to come home soon xxx
Like others already said, Maisy was forced to be born by her brother, who was clearly already more advanced than her... It's unfair to compare their progress. They're twins yes, but also two separate human beings. She's not a problem, there's no issue with her, she's just taking her time, as she should.
Thats pretty presumptuous of you. Not once did Colleen say that Maisy was a problem, or that she had something wrong with her. She knows theyre to separate people, but she is upset that she cant have both of them home.
I've seen several comments like this and want to gently encourage people to use more passive language when describing the twins delivery. Wesley didn't "force" Maisy to be born. His water broke (due to cholestasis, his breech position, or maybe just due to being a twin and twins often are born preterm, etc.) and that triggered an early delivery for both of them. Truly not trying to nitpick, just think language is important and can imply intent/conscious thought when neither of those things are possible for a 32 gestational week baby. ❤ Fully agree with everything else you said though!
Agreed
Thank you for addressing that they are two separate human beings. This is also how ableism starts, certain behaviors are prioritized and praised and others are treated as a deficit. Two different humans have two different needs and that should be the end of the story. All too often it's communicated to disabled folks that we are not good enough because we are not "doing enough" instead of having the community just create space for our needs and meeting us right where we are at. It also gets incredibly irritating when parents have disabled kids make our identities and lives all about them. I exist separately from said DNA donors. And I don't appreciate their identities and self-worth getting wrapped up in my existence..
She’s knows this, she was a worried mom, freaking out because she wanted her baby girl. She was in a desperate state looking for an answer that she could accept even tho there probably wasn’t one at all. You must know this logically & yet you say this to her where it gains so much attention to where she will see it. You really had to be heard so badly that it didn’t matter how this would make this mother who was falling apart feel?? I don’t understand.
"Sometimes when you're in a dark place you think you've been buried, but you've actually been planted.”
There's nothing to say to make it better right now but just know that everything you are going through is helping you turn into the ultimate fierce mother that those children will look up to and emulate for lifetimes.
Absolutely. The challenges and suffering we go through make us whobwe are; stronger, evolved souls.
Perfectly said
As a Mom what I see is utter exhaustion. Everything you feel you feel with so much more intensity because you are so tired. I have been there- most of us have been there! You are a wonderful mother- look at Flynn- how sweet and well adjusted he is! And so smart and funny! I know you know this but it will get better and you have a wonderful support system. Hang in there sweet girl! You have many many people out here who love and support you! Lots of love to you and your sweet family!🥰🥰🥰
The sleep deprivation makes all of this even harder. Sending love to you and yours.
This. For real though. I feel like we all joke so much about not sleeping that we kinda forget how truly damaging sleep deprivation can be. Can't balance anything if the foundation's unstable 😓
THIS. My heart is breaking for you Colleen. I've never had a NICU baby but I HAVE been newborn exhausted. You are so so strong, girl. ❤️
Yes. You can’t definitely tells she sleep deprived and stress.
Every baby is truly sooo so different! NICU nurse here, twins always go home weeks apart. She truly will have a light bulb day and start eating more!! I get that it’s so hard to see the difference between the two and having to split your time that is so hard ❤️
Colleen, I used to nurse on a high risk antepartum unit. Almost all of our patients delivered premature, lots of emergency c-sections, lots of twins. We used to remind our twin mammas that developmentally, twins/multiples are like popcorn kernels. They go into the pot all at once, but they never pop at the same time. This is true for full term twins too. She will come home. She’s working hard to catch up to Wesley who just happened to pop first. She just needs a little more heat in the pot than he did.
Maisy will come home.
You are a good mom. You are also an exhausted mom.
Maisy is herself. She is going at her own speed. She is not the same little person as Wesley, or Flynn, and she is going to hit her milestones when she hits them. You can’t compare them to each other, they’re different people. She hasn’t even reached her due date.
The only way out is through. You have support. You have Erik, and Coco, and your mom. You have people to lean on. Lean on them.
@suzan stop that's disgusting
The only way out is through.. haven’t heard that in a long time❤️
I've never wanted anything so badly for someone I've never met as much as I want Maisy to come home for Colleen and Erik.
YOU CAN DO THIS, MAMA!!! Just hold on a little bit longer!
This is so true! ❤
We love you colleen! YOU ARE A GIRLBOSS
I've never experienced anything remotely similar to this but I think your feelings are valid
@@carinagoldstein9085 my mum gave birth to me at 34 weeks and i was in the NICU for 7 weeks and she felt so emotional cuz she couldn't look after my 2 sisters and brother
Knowing something logically does not make your emotions and feelings invalid. You don't need a disclaimer for your feelings, and don't let people make you feel bad for how you're handling this stressful and upsetting situation. Feel your feels, girl.
I was a preemie and from what I heard I took freaking forever to be ready to come home. I was born 3 pounds and 11 ounces so it took a while. But I’m fine now, and my mom too. My moms my best friend. Everything is gonna be ok Colleen, and one day you’re gonna look at Maisy and say “I remember when you were as small as ____”. Trust me I get it all the time. I love you babes and I’m keeping you, Maisy, Wesley, Flynn, Erik and the rest of your family in prayer. You got this love🤍
Boost this so Colleen can see it
It's going to be okay. I was torn between the NICU and home. One of my twins went home separately and it sucked. My smaller twin was the same way that he would try so hard and I felt like the doctors didn't have any answers but trust me you will get your answers. It is hell it's something you cant imagine your babies to go through. You have a whole community here for you and you are doing a great job.
That must be one of the hardest things to go thru as a Mom. Hope your twins are doing well today. 💗
We need to boost this so Colleen can see it
Commenting so she sees this!
⬆️
Push Christmas till she’s home! Spend dec 25 as a normal day and celebrate together when everyone is home. You’re doing great, it’s all going to come together soon ❤️❤️
Love this idea!
Great idea! 💡
That’s what we did last year with our daughter. We had it a month later when she was home. It was a great day for all of us! 💖
Great idea!
I love this too. I was remembering that time when all the Ballingers were sick and did Christmas on like Jan 8 or something?
All your feelings are valid, everything you’re saying makes sense and I completely “understand” what you’re talking about (like I haven’t gone thru this but I understand how you’re expressing your emotions for a very understandable reason. You’re entitled to these feelings and thoughts. I couldn’t even imagine being as strong as you, that’s why you’re a literal role model to me. I know this is something you hear all the time but you’ve got this 💕✨ sending all the loving protection guiding and grounding energy to you and yours 💕✨love y’all.
I couldn’t believe my ears when she said she feels like she is a bad mum because if you watch through all the videos since Flynn was born in every single video every second of it the whole family has the biggest smile on their faces and I can wait until we see Wesley, Maisie and Flynn’s biggest rosey little smiles. Remember we all love you Colleen and we think you are awesome
Shes the best!
I saw a comment and it was so good to hear: Wesley and maisy will spend their whole lives being compared to eachother so maybe embrace the different pace they’re at, stay strong! you are superwoman
This is really great to think about. Of course it’s hard to not be sad about having a baby in the NICU but you’re right! Don’t compare them and expect the same results. They are different people they go at their own pace.
This is a amazing way to look at it!
Yup! I'm a twin girl with a brother! Can confirm you are compared against eachother constantly. Even at 27. It's got less as we've started to ago but maaaaan it happens a lot.
Hi Colleen -
It makes so much sense that this is so hard. I'm sorry. Maisy had a lot of predictability before 5.5 weeks ago, and then a traumatic birth, and then she got used to things going a certain way again - being close to Wesley and hearing him, seeing / hearing and feeling both you and Erik at the same time. And now, things have changed for her again. In much the same way you're struggling as an adult human, Maisy is struggling to cope with all of these changes and stresses as a tiny, premature human. Remember how you didn't even remember putting the laundry into the washer? That level of stress? She's dealing with a ton of stress too, as someone brand-new to the world. The gentleness and kindness that you and Erik need is what Maisy needs too. She wants safety and stability. Focus on providing that. You can do that part. Sending so much love your way.
- Tara, twin and former NICU preemie
^ Yes, all of this! As lucedelsole47s twin (who was in Maisy's place) absolutely. She's living through a lot of life changes and it's hard on a little one. Just keep being there for her. She doesn't know about calendars or holidays. She just knows about you and Wesley and Erik. Keep doing what you're doing. Being there for her the way you are is SOOOO vital.
this is one of the most helpful comments I've seen
I love this comment and hope Colleen reads it and it resonates with her ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I haven't even thought about this, but you're so right. Maisy is going through so much. Colleen, you've been doing amazing, providing her with all of the comfort and safety that you're able to. You're already spread so thin and yet you're still doing the absolute most. You're being an incredible mama.
so well said
Been there! My son was a 28 weeker and was in the NICU for 2 months. It was awful and postpartum hormones didn’t help. Trust me, you’ll forget this moment and this hurt. My son is almost 4 now and the NICU is a distant memory. Hugs and love to your family!
You are NOT a bad mom. Your daughter will be home. Just pray, everything will workout; huge, huge hugs.
she's not a bad mom, she's a perfect mom who deserves the world and who should never give up bc she has a purpose in life and people love her a lot more than she thinks
Oh gosh Colleen, my hearts breaking for you! I’m praying that God comforts you and gives you peace and strength. I’m so sorry, wish I could help. You helped me through the loss of my Mom. We would watch your Miranda videos together and crack up as she was sick in bed. Some joyful memories for me sharing that laughter with her. Praying that you get some joyful moments to sustain you through this and your sweet daughter is home soon!
Amen!!!!
I hope you're doing well 💕
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother but I am glad Colleen's videos were able to help you through. I hope you're doing well right now 💕
Debi, hello sweet lady. I can see you with your mom watching Miranda. 😁 That is a lovely memory. See you on your channel. 😘
“the only way out is through.” she will get there, on her own time. sending love. x
I'm a NICU nurse and I just wanted to let you know that you are amazing and your feelings are 100% valid, it is so hard watching mothers go through this heartbreak. Where I work we actually teach and show parents how to do tube feeds if that is the only thing holding them back from coming home, is this something the hospital may be willing to do for you so you can have your baby girl home and she can then take her time learning to feed?
Hi Samantha
Their entire lives you’ll have to try and not compare them. I’m a twin and you have to remember your babies are totally different people, and will reach milestones at different times 🤍
Colleen, part of the reason you're feeling this way is because of your extreme lack of sleep. It's hard but the sleeplessness makes it so much worse. Maybe you can get Erik to do bottles with Wes one night so you can get a really good sleep? You have enough milk saved up that not pumping one night won't have a negative effect on your supply. Get up and pump once so you're not in pain and then go back to bed. Trust me, after you get 8 hours in a row you will feel so much better. It will still be the worst thing in the world to have your babies apart and in the NICU, but you'll at least not feel like you're drowning. Speaking from experience here, my fellow NICU mum. Sleep.
Yess I agree! She’s need to rest!
She's got so much help at home, yet she hardly puts Wesley down. She doesn't seem to realize that not taking care of herself is a detriment to her children. I think maybe she has some control and trust issues. Sooner than later, her body will force her to rest. She will get sick or have a mental breakdown. I hope it doesn't have to get to that point, though.
You are doing EVERYTHING you can for your children - That. Is the definition of a wonderful mother to me! You are amazing Colleen.
Maisy wasn’t the one that activated labour, Wesley was the one who was developed enough as a twin to want to get out when maisy needed more time to develop, that’s why she’s still learning because she needed the extra cooking time to catch up.
As a premie mum of a girl I was worried when she wasn’t hitting the expected marks but one day she just bloomed quickly, it doesn’t seem like it now but maisy is just taking the ride slowly now and then she’ll be full force later :)
you definitely are NOT a bad mother, in fact, that this is so hard on you is a HUGE sign of how great of a mother you are 💕
Christmas is just a concept, it can be any day you want it to be. You can even celebrate it twice. When my parents split a few years ago, I started traveling with my dad during the Christmas break, and then my mom and I would have our Christmas dinner in January. If Maisy can't be home next week, keep some gifts and do a Christmas morning do-over with all your kids when they are all home :) That way if you don't have her with you on the 25th you will still have this second Christmas to look forward to for when she’s ready!
You are so clever omg this is the best comment ive ever seen ommmmmg
The pressure people put on Christmas is so damaging for us all :(
My thoughts too. The holiday is what they make of it.
Exactly! I only celebrate with my mom and I only see her on weekends so christmas is always a few days later for me and it still feels just as amazing! Sure it's not on December 25th, but that doesn't matter, bc its still christmas.
I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, just know you're an amazing person, mother and wife and I want nothing more than to give you a big hug.
Mama please take a breath. Stop and see your situation from the outside. Your partner is supportive and with you 100% has your back. Your oldest gets to have a slow intro into big brotherhood which will help him adjust better long term. Your baby girl is getting attention and care from trained professionals and you're lucky enough to have the means to see her everyday. You have a whole gang of family and friends who here for you. And know that you are crushing it! As a mom myself I can confirm you are. You are up and about clean self, tidy home, happy Flynn . Go watch the predictions video and remember the positive vibes, how strong she said Maisey Jo will be. One day at a time is enough, you are enough. Feel your feelings and then keep doing you and pushing through.
Yes!! This is GOOD advice! There is a sense of perspective required here at some point.
Yes, this!
Beautifully said ✨