The 9 Key Components of Reprogramming Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)
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The 9 Key Components of Reprogramming Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)
This video is part of a series on Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, (CPTSD), if you haven't watched previous videos on this topic, I highly recommend taking some time to learn more about CPTSD by watching the previous videos.
Causes of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) & Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES)
• Causes of Complex Post...
The 9 Key Components of Reprogramming Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)
• The 9 Key Components o...
In this video, I will give you tools to reprogram CPTSD, this is however simply information to help guide your treatment with a therapist. If you think you have CPTSD I recommend you discuss your possible diagnosis and treatment with a certified therapist.
Enjoy!
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Thank you for watching!
I often feel unseen, unheard, excluded and unworthy and easily taken advantage of. I struggle to create boundaries and get triggered and angered when I feel people cross boundaries. I feel people should know, and when I express it, I come across as harsh and rude. I have severe low self confidence or self esteem... I have challanged myself to 1yr of no dating while I work on myself. This content is the next step for me.... Thank You Thais.
That's amazing the effort and energy you are going to put into yourself. You deserve to be happy :)
-PDS team member
I can completely identify with how you feel about yourself. If it makes you feel any better, you’re definitely not alone and your feelings are valid and understood❤️
I've been there and I'm still affected by it. Trust me when I tell you it will get better. But be patient.. it doesn't happen overnight. :)
Hey this rude word became a misery for me. I was given mixed information. When I asked her, please respond you said you will talk to me tomorrow. But she warned me before if she gets overwhelmed. She won't answer. I said I will hate you now, after 3 days. Now she calls me rude , immature and all statements deflected at me triggers. And gone no contact. Feels really unheard man. I sent paras to explain my pov. She said it's irrational. I was giving hints. Grow up :(
So, I have build resentment but after understanding her. It affected my life badly. Her Inability to take responsibility makes me feel sad for her. Avoidant people. But I'm giving myself the hardest path which is right one. To choose compassion and full time self growth without fearing judged by my next steps.
So yeah it's relatable :)
But keep trying. You are never alone. And we keep learning :) we don't deserve any less 😊
One thing that people often don't consider as a source of boundary issues is social isolation during childhood/adolescence. My abuser was a single parent; I had no siblings; I didn't realize I could tag along with my friends after school if I wasn't explicitly invited. So I was alone in the house or alone with my abuser trying not to get triggered every 5 seconds.
Given this, it was so frustrating as a teenager when people would talk about "healthy boundaries". You want to put up MORE walls between me and and my friends, and you want to brainwash me into building the walls myself? Um, fuck no. That state of "um, fuck no" persisted into my early 20s. I think most people who talked to me about boundaries had no idea how cut-off I was from everyday intimacy and affection, and how soulless and cruel the concept sounded.
oh man! You just described my own experience.
9 steps to start healing from CPTSD in the video -
*Strong advice* : Please seek local professional help if some of the symptoms seem familiar to you in addition to taking the steps mentioned.
1. Notice the types of meaning you give to the events today. Take inventory of your core wounds by asking what are the things that trigger me the most and what meaning am I giving it?
2. Do the reprogramming work on your core wounds that keep coming up frequently.
3. Understand your own needs. Take inventory of 7 areas of your life and your needs there. Plan ways to meet those needs.
4. Learn how to self care. (core level) Check in with yourself, how do you feel about something, do you want to do it etc and then act on your need. (high level) body care, good food, good sleep regime, cleanliness etc.
5. Develop boundaries in 7 areas of life
6. Develop emotional literacy in relation to yourself by doing self check-in work.
7. Needs - learn to identify your own needs, learn to express your needs in a clear way, set ways to meet your own needs and allow yourself to receive and have your needs met by others ("I am worthy" reprogramming)
8. Ability to take yourself into consideration when you make a decision.
9. Learn how to down-regulate. Take relaxing activities at the end of day, take regular breaks.
I want to thank you for outlining this video, and I want to thank Thais for covering CPTSD because I finally am seeking help through psychotherapy and I was just diagnosed with CPTSD in my last session. Now I can go back and nose dive into the issues I really need to work on.
@@nataliaestrella8609 You're so welcome. All the healing and love to you ❤️
Hurt people hurt people
I find it excruciatingly difficult to relax.
Can you do a video on that alone?
The only time I am actually able to relax is when I am forced to put my technology down on the Sabbath and I don't have to decide to relax. If it's at any other time during the week, I could stay up till 5am just because I don't want to stop doing something other than going to sleep, even if it's not important.
I will forward this suggestion to Thais and the team :)
-PDS team member
@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool super, thanks!
Hey, I used to struggle with sleep as well. Things that helped me: Learning about secondary gain, which for me was that I felt the early hours of the morning was the only time I wouldn't be watched or judged, I felt I could let my guard down and breathe. It was also a form of self-sabotage, being exhausted for the next day. I had a lot of rules around strict sleep regimens as a child and so I felt a lot of unconscious anger towards sleeping. Taking the time to do somatic experiencing (focussing on the uncomfortable emotions in your body, to release that trapped anger) really helped me to relax. I hope you're doing better now.
@@anxietyhealing doing it would help me. I have a strong internal fight against it.
This content is GOLD. I can't thank you enough!
Right, I’m showing it to my therapist lol.
I needed this so bad...I cannot afford any proper care in Texas. Even basic medical is SCARY bad here...So giving your time, knowledge and help is one of the most selfless acts you're doing...This is another bit of the patchwork of what's saving my life....Thank you isnt good enough. 💕
am I the only person who has muscle twitches that get bad when anxiety is present. I feel like its trauma related but I honestly dont know what is wrong with me nowadays.
Yes. Both me and my partner get muscle twitches, he get serious leg spasms that keeps him from sleeping and it's all stress trauma related, you're not alone , it's a signal to find ways to ground and wind down.
All I did to find self worth was working too many hours for money so I could have my own money and not depend on anyone. After 20 years of non stop I hit an emotional brick wall. Currently not working. Running doesnt make it go away. No boundaries, no self care, cannot stand emotions or relationships with most people. Havent had my own children, scared to even have a dog to care for.
Thank you so much for clearing out CPTSD, I could help myself a lot through your videos Thais! You are such an angel!
also, they say, trauma is trapped in your body, your body never forgets even though your mind forgets. I think it is really important that we start telling ourselves that whatever trauma has been stored inside us, we are not the one to be blamed. Rather shame on those who created those traumas for us. We shouldn’t feel bad or unworthy because someone wronged us and wounded. For a long time since childhood I have been carrying all those wounds and meanings inside me and finally i am learning to forgive myself and not fighting with my demons rather dancing with them. It’s a beautiful beautiful feeling of finally healing the deep core wounds
I have cPTSD. I am 60 year daughter and am taking care of my mother, who emotionally neglected me as a child. My feelings were not heard, never good enough, and never told "I love you". I am still living this daily as my mother is still the same and I am as a caregiver, still not good enough. I am an only child and cannot put her in a nursing home. I feel I am walking on eggshells trying to please her and I know she cannot be pleased. Money of course is an issue and our mental health care in our community is very poor. Any suggestions? Your videos are the best I can resonate with. Thank you
The anxiety about having anxiety thing!😭🙈! I could actually write a book about it!!(not a very good one🤣) I felt I dealt with my crap childhood, abusive relationships, past traumas and I just kept revisiting them over and over and over thinking it would stop my anxiety and it didnt! I just kept thinking WHY am I still dealing with anxiety and panic when I am doing everything to deal with what has caused it! It was driving me absolutely crazy, I was exhausted !! Learning about disregulated emotional responses really helped me to get off the exhausting emotionally triggering roundabout I was on . To anyone struggling with this check out crappy childhood fairy on TH-cam. Learning how to deal with the emotional responses directly rather than the cause (bad childhood, traumatic events etc) really helps me to get a happy and healthy brain and that's what we all want I think! Thanks so much thais! You are amazing!! XOXO
Thank you so much! I've been having so many light bulb moments and learning so much about who I've become over the years, since having discovered your channel! I wish I had know these things 30 years ago! It feels like a gift!!! I feel so much hope!
I've continued in life too long continuing as normal. Now I am off sick from work to sort my life out with therapy, taking time for myself, learning about myself rather than living the fast paced life and burning out without self care. Sometimes put your life on pause and evaluate your needs to take care of you rather than the unhelpful motivation advice, keep going. It's good to stop, assess and change your life's direction rather than keep going in the same wrong direction.
I am doing the same. I cannot work while doing the work on myself. I just can't do it all right now. Wishing you all the luck in the world. You deserve to be happy 😊
@@kirstysewell367 Thank you, we're not alone and I wish you the very best on your journey 🙂
18:33 You say “get the proper help.” Where does one find this? How does one look for this? Is there a directory somewhere? Does health insurance cover this?
I am just beginning to accept that I was truly abused as a child. I thought if i processed it, it would go away. I see that this was a child hope but still told myself maybe i'm better. However, I'm finally learning to admit that I have been in very deep denial and am beginning to open this door and am seeking help. Saying it's hard is an understatement. Thank you for this video because I don't know where to start an this helped.
You are saving lives
For me a huge start was asking the simple question after a clear trigger happens. Why did I feel this? What does it mean? Where did this feeling come from? Then it typically goes down several layers. Finding the root of problems helps to avoid triggers and heal.
I have solved so many problems linked to cptsd. 2 I still struggle with is rejection and betrayal. Very difficult to find answers for those parts.
Going through this process right now as we speak, Man it hasnt been easy i will tell you that much, barely standing on my feet. Started off with constantly shaking and unable to leave the house. Later on different faces for way too many people feeling like i had no sense of core identity, classified as a doormat or people pleaser. Yesterday i finally said goodbye to one of the biggest narcs I had in my life, ive never cried that much before. Funny thing is I had so much more in common with the narcs roommate i met for the first time then ive ever had with him during the last 3 years, but I guess its some sort of growth if I can make that assumption now. Ive never felt as crazy as I have been feeling lately, if you are going through this process know that the amount of courage you possess for actually going through the healing process makes you one very small percentage of this very earth. The majority of people dont have the balls to go through this process thats why we see narcs almost everywhere, know your worth and work on yourself everyday, you owe it to yourself nobody else!
I would appreciate if the speaker were to slow down by 10%...she is talking faster than I can process it!
Loved this video! Emotional literacy and developing boundaries was a game-changer in my recovery. Thank you for everything that you do for the community Thais! 😊
Is there a pill to make it go away so I can have a normal life?
What are "needs"? How do we know what our needs are?
What do u do when u advocate for urself and then my mother who is a big part of my emotional needs being fulfilled being stunted.. for example I wasn't allowed to cry growing up. It was viewed as weakness. Or she would get defensive if I was upset because she would perceive it as I saw her as a failure and she would get defensive.
I know I'm able to be loved but only by family. Anyone outside of family it's really difficult to comprehend.
The one time I let my guard down my ex husband demolished my heart beyond what I can express. I have so much that I really can't dump out here. I have been learning to set boundaries over the past 5 years.
Back to advocating... When I get emotionally and verbally put down for trying to advocate for myself because it makes me weak or a failure etc to my mom like she's projecting onto me it's hard. I am starting counseling back up this next week.
I have no idea what my needs even are. Sometimes I think I don't really have any real "needs." I just don't want to be abused, degraded, or disrespected by others.
How do you know what your needs are?
Thank you, your content really helped me during the early summer of covid. I had just started group therapy for CPTSD which helped me but this was in groups and halted for a while because of Covid. It was really hard and still is now I've restarted the therapy sessions. It just feels like I've opened a wound and my brain doesn't know how to cope with it. So I feel depressed again and stuck in numbing behaviours. But I'm trying to stay compassionate with myself and accept that I am doing everything I can for myself. Hoping this difficult painful period will pass and I will come out of it more healed and more connected with myself
8i
So concise and well packaged this whole CPTSD series thank you Thais. Incredible insights. Which of your courses specifically do you suggest for those with CPTSD. Along with outside professional help as you mentioned.
Knowing you've healed from CPTSD yourself gives me so much hope. There are lots of youtubers making content on CPTSD who have experienced it themselves, but I see more of myself in you than the rest of them. (Partly because I'm female, in my twenties, highly sensitive, and majoring in psychology.) And you really walk the talk. Thanks, Thais!
Thank you! I'm beginning this work and this is very helpful.
THANK YOU for this video - seriously the step by step instructions are SO insanely helpful. I took 4 pages of notes lol. Does Thais see private clients for therapy?
thank you so much for this kind energy!!!! feels so good to actually feel ready to reprogram the scariest of my triggers (worked from lightest/most accessible triggers down to the real core fears and major ones). i have one quick request: can you numerically define all 9 components in the comment section? i think I/you stopped numbering them (I was writing down notes throughout the video and was surprised to get to number 9 eheh)
It's amazing how timely this video is. I started seeing a professional today but watching this video gives me clearer steps to take towards healing. x
so good to hear you say that Adesola :)
-PDS team member
Thank you for this. Because CPTSD is not in the DSM I cannot get any treatment, so listening to videos like these is the best I can do. It helps.
You can. To run through insurance, therapists can classify as PTSD
Can you heal the tendency to lie bcos of cptsd?
Could Thais make a video about cPTSD startle response that triggers anxiety? In the Personal Development FB group some people have the same issue as me. A startle response triggered through neighbors noises. I can't relax, it feels like my body trying to survive, can't focus on anything. Feels like my body is in surviving mode. I need to reprogram that bodily startle response some how.
This is so helpful. I thank you so much for this.
I couldn’t focus on video because of her eyelashes..
wow, the way i needed this today
so nice to hear that!
-PDS team member
Thank you Thais 😢
Thank u so much
Thank you 🙏 this is very helpful
I especially like when you describe checking in with oneself. And plucking the weeds out… that is so helpful
🙏🏾
Thank you 😊
Thank you for the video, but your eye lashes and eyeliner look a mess and are a bit distracting to be honest