Agreed he deserves a Nobel Prize for humanitarianism. He brings hot topic subjects like addiction and brings humanity to why we do what we do! “Addiction is a solution to a problem!” Brilliant!
As a former political prisoner of the Pinochet dictatorship of Chile and exiled in California since 1976 I would like to thank Gabor Maté for his work. I understand now the effect of my personal traumas on my family. How my two girls have been affected by my personal story of incarceration, torture and exile. It’s not too late to do my own self work. Thanks !
Lamento mucho escuchar esto porque pasé por la misma mierda en Nueva York. Después del 11 de septiembre, tomaron medidas enérgicas contra todas las personas del Medio Oriente y la mayoría fueron encarceladas durante años y todos inocentes incluyéndome a mí. Soy fotoperiodista de la revista alemana más importante de Alemania. Así llegué a USA pensando que era el paraíso en la tierra, que decepción. Cuando has crecido en Europa, no hay nada igual aquí a menos que seas rico. Todavía estoy pasando por el trastorno de estrés postraumático, no he visto a mi hijo en 10 años justo después de que se casó y quiero ver a mis nietos.
When i had cancer, my husband showed his true colors that i could no longer ignore. The deceit and emotional neglect had always been there. The 2 woke me up and i got out.
I was given five years to live back in 2008 when I was diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis. One year later I married a wonderful kind man who failed to tell me he had been diagnosed with a colon mass in 2007. We had a beautiful loving nurturing 12 year marriage when I realized his health was failing and he told me that he had thought I would die before him. He was given six months to live but died in three weeks. I have had no signs or symptoms of pancreatitis since 2011. He has been gone for 18 months. I asked God to allow my joy to return so I could accomplish good in what time I have remaining. My joy was restored and I uncontrollably shouted with praise, song and dance as a close friend was eyewitness to the elation. So may wonders of which we are yet unaware.
I've never felt more understood by a stranger 😅 I am definitely a product of childhood trauma. I've always felt immense personal guilt and fault for my father's unhappiness growing up. I had no idea it was bc he was dealing with his own demons - I blamed myself. As an adult I am a people pleaser and never want to disappoint anyone. In reality, it's true. I have always secretly just wanted freedom from all the self suppression.
Dr Mate is ahead of his time. It is such a shame the leaders in our countries aren't able to be as enlightened and humble for the good of all people. May wisdom prevail in the world to this level.
If that's not the most beautiful thing I've heard today I will be surprised. When he said he wrote the book with his son and they had to work out their traumas while writing and then they had a better relationship afterwards! That is nothing less than a miracle.
It really struck home to me when Gabor alluded to the fact that coming out through the other side of intense suffering, whatever form that may have taken, a person may find themselves stripped of all the 'junk' that led them into that vortex of pain in the first place and find themselves in a mental place that affirms the truth of who they really are. I can attest to this - after a lifetime of finding myself in a state of clinical depression on a fairly regular basis, with the last one being sustained in my life for just over 3 1/2 years... when I finally emerged from that episode, it was akin to a rebirth. Within a year, I found the courage to leave a 39 year marriage that hadn't been working for years. I moved out, met a wonderful lady and my life completely changed for the better... I now have so much creative energy and feel so good about myself, my life, my relationships. I had previously not thought this kind of life was possible in those many past years, all the way back to my early teens. I had been lost to the world, but now I have really found myself and I feel SO grateful.
@@marialupu7770 Back in those early days of suffering from depression, I did not know of Gabor or his books. Rather, I had been following aspects of the Buddhist path for many years and I found that the most helpful practice, which I highly recommend for everyone, is the Tibetan Buddhist-based practice of Loving-Kindness meditation. I adapted it to my own practice and added to it. Here it is: LOVING KINDNESS MEDITATION By the grace of the beloved Creator, May I be well... May I be happy May I be free from negative thoughts, emotions and impulses May I be protected in body, mind, soul & spirit May I be free from all fear & suffering May I be filled with loving-kindness May I be filled with joy May I be at peace and at ease By the grace of the beloved Creator, may it be so! _____ By the grace of the beloved Creator, May < family, friends> be well... May they be happy May they be free from negative thoughts, emotions and impulses May they be protected in body, mind, soul & spirit May they be free from all fear & suffering May they be filled with loving-kindness May they be filled with joy May they be at peace and at ease By the grace of the beloved Creator, may it be so! _____ By the grace of the beloved Creator, May all beings be well... May they be happy May they be free from negative thoughts, emotions and impulses May they be protected in body, mind, soul & spirit May they be free from all fear & suffering May they be filled with loving-kindness May they be filled with joy May they be at peace and at ease By the grace of the beloved Creator, may it be so!
Yes I had a rebirth experience like that problem was I got retraumatused by the one I opened up to ! I'm away from them now but it's not been easy to recover although I'm still in touch with myself from the original recovery , I don't have an example to relearn things from
I was molested as a youngster, probably around 10 or something… don’t really remember the time frame. All I knew was it was inappropriate and I didn’t do anything about it, then. I wondered why other people were stronger than me, when they could talk about theirs or to say No, molester. I’ll be turning 40, in July and I’ just now told my Mom… it’s just dawning on me how traumatic this experiences with my cousin have been for me. And the joking that came with it and not feeling like anyone was ever looking out for me on my behalf. Job hopping, relationship ruining, alcohol, sex, cannabis. All of it because 30 years ago. I started secretly watching porn with my cousin and how that unraveled into a whole lot of what looked like disappointment from my dad and his side of the family. So, withdraw and isolation because “ no one understands.” I understand now, this is all part of my and “the,” plan. As unfortunate for my life as it’s been. I’m finally closing this damn chapter of my life BEFORE this next part of my life begins.
I feel your pain,at age 8-9 i looked at my would be 55+ old molestor and told him, I will tell your wife what you are doing to me,at that point he was pulling my tongue out of my face with his nasty kissing,It just felt like his entire mouth was covering my face,He was about to cone down on me fully clothed . He stopped dead in his tracts..he was my moms bestfriend,s husband,I am 67 and to this day wonder i why he stopped.Its a long story,but it stopped there,and my mom took me away from them,i was living with them temporarely.She believed me right away when i told her.I had a praying mother.whose prayers sent rescue angels to rescue me.
I wish you well and hope everything is going.. however, your problems didn't start with watching porn, your trauma is deeply connected to your parents and other figures who were or were t available. I'm not condemning them or making them "bad". But no, the trauma wasn't the problem or even being molested, the trauma was not feeling safe, which is why you were molested in the first place..no one is blaming by the way. However, the molester knew that you were were vulnerable. Again, we are not blaming you or your parents.
ok, I'm like 2-1/2 minutes in and Dr. Gabor Mate just gave me the answer to why I developed an eating disorder from my childhood. I am in tears. It's a good thing and I am taking notes! Thank you Dhru and Dr. Gabor for your wisdom.
And finished audio listening to his two books read by his son Daniel … myth of normal and in the realm of hungry ghost. Both are really really good books.
It doesn’t take dr mate to know every human was traumatized at birth … in our family of origin…. From dna passed trauma generations and from a screwed up society …. Nothing in life is affirming except nature and humans can’t seem to live on our own planet
I just bought this man’s 4 book set off Amazon to support his work. Absolute genius, and a endless amount of love coming your way from the people you are helping heal.
I think all addiction is a response to loneliness. Isolation. Every addict I know can be lonely even in the midst of a crowd. The isolation is a profound internal experience and it can only be ended from within.
One does NOT need be addicted to feel the Real sense of isolation or loneliness .. but to wake up & see that is what's "purposefully" imposed on western society. We're all addicted to something . The worst is UNSOCIAL MEDIA . God help the young generations..
Loneliness is a prison in and of itself and also extremely painful. Selfesteem, self-worth, and self-respect are usually absent and a deep sadness set's in.
For over a year and a half I have been agrophobic with immense anxiety issues and a panic disorder I’ve also been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and ocd and of course depression I watch this with interest and a growing realization that it’s not my fault all the abusive relationships all the self harm the hair pulling the want to continually not conform to any kind of normalcy was all a cry for help which was caused by an over critical mother and a father who being a firefighter was really available emotionally and had a very volatile relationship with his family but I also realized that they weren’t responsible that they too had difficulty in childhood and trauma from the past my dad died nearly ten years ago and I’ve never missed him or forgiven him for how he was my mum is nearly ninety and in the last year and a half has had to experience her daughter taking three overdoses and isolating herself to the point she can no longer go out where do we get off this emotional and traumatic merry go round yes it starts with ourselves I am gradually learning to try and live again and I hope for a full recovery I apologize for the long rant another habit of mine always apologizing hahaha 😢
My sons father had a train wreck of a childhood and he tortures us over it. It’s frustrating to say the least and modern laws tie my hands at times from the treatment kid gets on visits.
It's stunning how much a person is controlled by trauma. I've got CPTSD and don't even know who I am because of my programming. And as a rebellious artist I thought I was being myself. How wrong I was. Nothing but a coping mechanism.
I was born and raised in South Korea till six. Families then and even today in some homes slept on the heated floors. when I went back to Korea at 22 year old they still were sleeping on the heated floor and the all the family slept together. When I came to America through adoption I was put in a bed by myself and fell out of bed every night. My adopted father got up and put me back in bed when he heard the thud. I did go back and reunited with my biological family to visit when I had my own baby. When I had my baby she was put in a crib after nursing and fall asleep but stayed in bed with me when she woke up to be fed at night. Then she stayed in our bed till morning. I also homeschooled my daughters till they were 16 then they finished their education in a high school. My oldest daughter and I still 1 mile apart and I drove my granddaughters to school till last month when my oldest granddaughter got her drivers license last month. I took them to nursery care through junior in high school! Listen to the song by Cat Stevens Cats in the Cradle about a son and father and how the son treated his father just like his father treated his son. It’s a great song. How we treat our children is how they treat us!
Parkinsons disease is the final result of a traumatic childhood in Franco's Spain, the accumulation of bad choice relationships, and disastrous life choices trying to overcome the pain. Im listening carefully to you...looking for someone trained in compassionate inquiry so i may have some remaining years where 8 can enjoy life. Its been hell till now. Thanks for your work dr Matè.
Bless you. My mum had parkinsonism and of late, I have developed some of her first symptoms. I have learned to love myself, do gentle movements( somatic) to release trauma ,am eating well and supplementing some needed nutrients- via a good nutritionist. I am happier and I nourish my mind by listening to good people that I love to hear. I hope you achieve deep peace and joy in your time left on this earth. Talk to your angels,God, higher self often too and most importantly don't live to please others. Be your wonderful divine self. You are perfect.❤
Yesssss omg when you said women have more stress because we’re taking care of our big babies !! Yes! I’ve been taking care of one for 20 years and he has DRAINED me! I know have no power, love, happiness, for myself that I’ve given up. I’m DRAINED!!! I can’t raise someone who his mother and father should of.
Gabors lectures are always educational. My life was transformed by his book scattered minds. What a wonderful ,brilliant , humble man, a gift to the world!
Thank you Dhru for having Dr Mate on your podcast. You allowed Dr Mate to talk and with no interruptions. That’s a true excellent podcaster. You didn’t throw out conversation to make yourself look like the “know it all guy”. You respectfully allowed Dr Mate to converse openly. Great podcasting Dhru!!❤
My MOTHER raised 6 kids on her own and did a sterling job. NONE of us became psychologically troubled or blamed her or my late dad for our shit. We simply looked at our faults, corrected them, and changed course. I do not think they make mothers like that anymore. She said things as they were.
I am not sure "they" still make kids like you😊. Might it be possoble or even likely that your children speak about you the way you speak about your mother? Be blessed
Look deeper 😂 This seemingly innocuous comment is an indictment of all other mothers who fail to be as “sterling” as your own; did she suffer no pain abandoned with 6 kids? Or did she deny her pain and trauma, sacrificing her own health for her children? What lesson did her self-denial give to her daughters about motherhood? About the virtues of self-denial & “independence?” What did she teach you about deep empathy for yourself or others?
Good for your mother she sounds like everything your family needed, sadly not everyone is the same though, some people spend a lifetime working out they have the power to change things people like Gabor are here for those that don't get the good advice we need.
This types of videos help me become a better mother for my kids so much knowledge to absorb . Grateful for people like them who actually take the time of day to share with us . ❤
I’m just crying with truth . Touching my childhood memory and then my own children now my grandchildren. I am very grateful for this podcast I came across today .
I am being treated for addictions the support agencies have no qualifications in the underlying causes they make you feel like you're weak and pathetic I see it but there are those long term addicts who just take the prescriptions but will not stop because no one has told them what the cause of addiction is. That they are in pain
I agree, but wouldn’t say it’s his central thesis. Lots of people share this opinion on taking responsibility for our lives. Mate’s message is different.
1:02: 🔑 Dr. Gabor Maté explains that addictions are not a result of sin, mistakes, or bad choices, but rather survival mechanisms developed in childhood. 10:02: 💡 Cancer can function as a wake-up call, prompting individuals to pay attention to their own needs and true selves. 19:49: 💪 Everyone is doing their best and has the opportunity to continue working on themselves. 30:17: 💔 Trauma can have a profound impact on individuals, affecting how they live, think, and relate to others. 40:06: 🔍 The system profits off the stresses it creates through consumer goods and entertainment. 49:51: 🕐 Early imprints can have a significant impact on our lives and relationships. 58:59: 🔑 Autoimmune conditions are often developed by people who suppress their anger and prioritize others' emotions over their own, causing stress and illness. 1:08:45: 🧠 The addicted brain has circuits that don't work well, including the endorphin circuitry which provides pain relief, pleasure, reward, and connection to others. 1:18:55: 🌍 The speaker discusses the need for society to become conscious of trauma and its impact on both individual and societal levels. 1:28:02: 📚 The video discusses the book 'The Drama of the Gifted Child' by Alice Miller and explores the concept of being a sensitive child. 1:38:57: ! The speaker discusses the negative effects of interfering with natural processes in childbirth and the importance of meeting the physiological needs of infants. 1:48:20: 📊 The speaker questions why, despite advancements in resources, science, and wealth, people are living with chronic illness and experiencing high rates of COVID-19 deaths in the United States. 1:58:21: 🧬 Genetics are not the full picture when it comes to disease, as most diseases have very little genetic component. Recap by Tammy AI
Such a powerful truth about the childhood need to people please, the sense of isolation and the effect on the body. I remember feeling the loss of my life force at a very young age due to an unpredictable, critical and shaming environment. I’ve been struggling with debilitating chronic fatigue throughout my adulthood.
I'm not sure what the comment above me meant and I hope it's a language I'm ignorant of but you're not alone and I appreciate you showing that I'm not either.
I didnt have any idea who he was until I heard his name two yrs ago. I was flying with a lady who had been to his seminars in New York. It was only a couple months ago when I came across his name on the internet. Then it clicked what the lady had said to me previous. In all the years of therapy, counselling, groups and self pondering has anything been so profound to me as listening to his talks on different podcasts. It definitely is a game-changer and an eye-opener!! Thank-you Gabor for being so authentic to show us your human too! It gives me hope to press forward and finally give myself the recognition I truly deserve after 59yrs. I recieved many answers to questions I've thought about for years. It's all making sense now. Thank you ❤ May God bless and keep you to go onward with the gifts you've been given 😇🙏💗
I've never understood why on earth I repeated the same movie without being able to change it, new characters, new dialogues, new goals. I liked Arno Gruen's books and the way he shows how insane our society is. I've already seen Dr Gabor Mate on TH-cam but he looked so sad that I avoided dealing with my own pain/challenge 🙁 Avoiding pain and pretending I'm all right is my journey. My body tried to shake me about my own needs through my myopia at 6 years old and ten years ago my thyroid. I do meditation and some qigong. Then I remembered what Richard Gordon said *emotions are buried alive" 😳 I had to do the work and face the pain, accept it, express it and forgive myself. So, only recently I was ready to listen to Dr Gabor Mate. I"m really grateful for this opportunity 🙋 💛
I have listened to Dr Gabor for over a decade - & read his books but actually now that I think of it - never have seen him cry. Almost once I felt he was close - but he identifies the insanity in our culture & his perspectives are spot-on
i did start with childhood trauma when i found alice miller, she was one of the first with this concept. Unfortunally she passed away years ago at high age. Mr Gabor Maté made it logical and way more digestable. Alice miller was hard to follow. Also mr Maté goes more into detail and more into the current society. I bought his book and gave it to my daughter for her birthday. Its great. Thanks for this interview and im happy that alice miller is not forgotten.
I want to congratulate Dhru for your well prepared interview. You are privileged of having this conversation and getting the best of Dr. Maté’s insights. I have watched several of his interviews, but this one combined science, emotions, behaviours, social contents and a deep journey to the cores. You directed that . Way to go from both perspectives: you as an interviewer and Gabor’s projection as a human being!
I'm a podcast junkie. Dhru you are really great at this. Besides your stellar communication skills for a wide spectrum of topics your genuine respect for your guests really show. Rooting for your continuous success. All the best!
My Dad was mentally abusive growing up, then I married a very pysical abusive husband through three children, that had bylolar mental condition for 15 years, then lived single for awhile, then got remarried to a narcissist from hell, that put me through metal hell. I ended up with two mini strokes, and got fybromayalsia, through all this that I endured it messed up my central nervious system, and live wirh severe pain daily. I have been very happy for 8 years now in my life, but still have fybromayalsia, and on meds to deal with it. I have forgiven everyone that hurt me, but im still here suffering with the consequences of it all. My central nervious system doesnt know how to deal with no stress are chaos. I pray the healing comes soon. 🙏
Thanks to Dr. Maté, for giving eloquent words and validation to the inner wisdom that many people silently know and preserve themselves and try to transmit to their children. May the multitudes be healed and reunited in true authentic love, the agapé within us that has been surpressed by war, tragedy, and pain.
I admire Dr mate’s self awareness and willingness to own his behavior. I feel like his wife has helped him become the person he is by being a strong self aware person herself. His idea of women having much higher rates of autoimmune and other diseases because they are carrying the emotional load for their partners and families is right on. I think it’s also because women are conditioned to be critical of themselves, including judging their worth based on superficial and empty standards. In that way our society and many other patriarchal societies fetishize women’s bodies and cause shallow and unbalanced societies that are unable to build rooted and spiritually wise culture. Getting through the existential issues the world is facing requires strong partnerships of true adults. We’ve got to get it together and grow up. In part that will happen when men start to question their conditioning and let go of their ego dependence on being the “dominant” gender. Don’t believe your own press. It’s a trap to keep you a baby man. They need to start doing their personal psychological and spiritual work. It’s heartening to see Dr mate being a role model for this. Dhru , thanks for the great interview.
@@ClearMountainWay The question is not about how you do it for yourself, but how you understand another person's behaviour to admire it. By reading Dr. Maté's mind?
Dr. Gabor is amazing. I’m from Vancouver BC and was strung out in the Down Town East Side in Vancouver BC Canada for 4 yrs. Horrifying times in my life. 10 yrs ago I pulled myself out. I wish this man was still available for counseling at my time in this area. He’s the only one that understands how an addict really feels.
Brilliant talk thankyou. My gp looked at me like a crazy person when I mentioned the connection between trauma and disease, shows the lack of training they did. I've got Auto immune and had trauma so I've got a massive interest in this topic. Gabor you are amazing. ❤
Sabotage I'm sure is a huge problem with me and others expected to never show emotions or feelings. 1950s,60s most parents rarely showed any compassion whatsoever, as if it was the wrong thing to ever do, so wrong! Any wonder emotional intelligence is very low, why mental health is severely needed!
I love Dr Mate, I’ve been listening to him for 6 years. He is brilliant and has is a unique voice about health and mental wellness that is vital for us to know. We live in confusing times and he is a science based MD who shares his wisdom freely to benefit humanity.
He's so right. When I had my relapse it was because I couldn't deal with my surroundings,and my addiction numbed it out. I became very ill and decided ok I'm done. And the saddest thing is when it all wore off, my childhood memories,my father's suicide, it came flooding back to me harder than ever. So what I was really numbing out was the trauma I didn't even know I had that I need to work on. Everything he says is bang on
May I suggest listening to the meditations of Lauren ostrowski Fenton? I listen to her almost daily. She has a very nurturing demeanor. They’re on TH-cam. My father was alcoholic. I vowed to myself to never become an addict. I suffer from childhood trauma, too. I can totally see why people turn to substances to numb their pain. I totally get it. I guess I have chosen to live with the pain as it ebbs and flows. I know that if I were to become addicted to drugs or alcohol I’d be adding another problem on top of an already existing one. But the uneasiness of life is overbearing often. I commend anyone who overcomes an addiction. My father never did…. Wish he had.
My husband and i have envisoined and. Setting up a family structure that will make sure our grandchildren will be only brought up with love and abundant blessings and care so as not to keep passing trauma after trauma. It stops with us and my children. 🙏
I truly heard you about "the big scare." At age 10 I found out I was adopted and the axis of my world changed. In a split second I realised I'd been living with "strangers." I am now a recovered alcoholic of 40 years sobriety and very happy as a fulltime artist and poet. My body has also healed itself of things I never thought possible. Thank you for this wonderful ongoing journey of learning.
My addiction was suffering, feeling guilty and shame ...now I know why..I been listening for more than a year to videos and it helps learning about the self. I was a people pleaser. I would help them without them even asking for help. Otherwise I would feel guilty and down. Today I'm happy I did because I did touched hearts. For some I was their enemy for just being me. And those are out of my life
who else watched this in spurts? I started b4 work, then after, rewind.....whaaaat? SO great. So Real. This is a keeper, re watcher = so much depth easy to miss something on one pass thru
💥💜💥Thank you Dhru for sharing Gabor with the world with such eloquence. Wish everyone in our society would listen to Gabor. He's an earth angel so to speak. He's a MEGA HEALER❣️❣️❣️ The relationship with his son is so beautiful. LOVE YOU GABOR!
Dr Gabor you saved me & my daughter when her dad was dying of his late late stage addiction. Your words & even your voice & your book the realm of the hungry ghost kept me SANE. We were separated but he lived close & was still very much the centre of our world. He was a lovely man who’s terrible “disease cut his life down &dragged him into the depths of hell. With your book &12 step meetings helped us not fall into that pit too & helped. Us both because she loved her dad & frankly I still loved my kind heroic estranged husband who died of his addiction - but hating addicted people - is what we see in society. I didn’t hate him. I had compassion because I understood his trauma after reading in the realm of the hungry ghost
Thank you Doctor. You are one of my ALL TIME favorite, and have helped through one of most difficult time in my life. You gave me the gift of not hating myself.. ever greatful ❤❤❤
Hes soo Amazing ❤Look Brian Scoot , Michael Bernard Beckwith, Dr Joseph Murfy orh trend Shelton up if you don’t know them Already ❤they will make you Grow and Heal yourself even more ❤
Dr. Mate's display of his vulnerabilities and openess of past traumas and addictions is genuine and rare. Makes his research and views even more convincing and heartfelt. This particular webcam chat felt very intimate, and displayed Dr. Mate undisputed empathy and humbleness that would otherwise be muted in more staged settings. Thank you for the host and Dr. Mate for sharing this.
Well, my illness came as a child and I was diagnosed by twelve with Crohn's. I couldn't have this kind of epiphany at that age. Just now at 50 realizing that I've been walking around with clenched guts my whole life.
Yes..I relate..Crohn's at 16..blamed on bacteria in lake when I was camping. I believe the stress hat started with abuse at 6 from nuns..and always needing to "do better" by mom n teachers. Crohn's is misunderstood but treatable if done with the correct mindset.
7:18 woah!! Lacking self value becoming workaholics? THAT makes a load of sense as i zoom out a bit more and apply the new dound wisdoms to the knowledge i already have, how purely serene to have connectivity between matter and reason, thank you beautiful earth angel star brother
Dhru this is for you. Dr Gabor made a clever analogy for everything I suffered here and in other videos but your skills to navigate the conversation is astonishing and you helped the great man deliver this sacred message to the world. Great work man to say the least 🎉
Dr. Gabor, I can only image how many of us would give anything, travel anywhere to listen to one of your lectures and to ask a question. A life gift would be to be analyzed by you. Thank you.♥️
It just dawned on me... when I was a kid, my mom would try and get me to stop crying by saying, "what are you crying for? I'll give you something to cry about. Now, in consideration of generational trauma, possibly when her mother's family was living through and fleeing genocide, maybe crying could get you killed. I am trying to understand.
Thank you for this interview--and for repeating the previous interview content inside it (1:06:23 - 1:31:40). Humanity will change its habits and culture and use what we now know to support one another. We are waking up. And conversations like this is helping to make that happen. When people know better, they do better. Thank you, again, to both of you. 🙏
I have an addiction/dependency on daydreaming. It's a survival mechanism I guess, to avoid facing my reality. I want to face my reality but it's hard because I know that I my reality is based on my perception and not reality 🙄. So it's probably fear of the unknown, which kind of reminds me of codependency traits... being controlling. So I'm chillen, trying to be compassionate to myself, trying to be a good listener and pray for people but not try to fix them, and let God do what He's been doing, which is work my situations out for my good and His glory, grow me in Christ, and help me apply His principals to my circumstances daily as I opt to check my motives so that I learn to make wise decisions to have pure love for my neighbor as I learn to love myself. This is my second time watching this video. It encourages compassion. People look at me sideways when I categorize my daydreaming as an addiction.
Yes, maladaptive daydreaming (dissociation). I have tried to find information online about it because I think my ex would do this but I had no proof and my ex wouldn't admit to it. Professor Sam Vaknin says there's not enough data for "maladaptive daydreaming" to be considered a disorder. I don't know how anyone can say that because I've read a lot of comments from daydreamers on the rare video I can find on the topic. Sam Vaknin recently made a video titled "Attachment Styles of Fantasy Prone Personalities (Length, Intensity of Shared Fantasy)" which addresses it a little bit (he has many good videos).
❤i am so grateful for the time gabor spend on sharing his wisdom with us .i can only imagine the future when he is no longer here.. gabor mate you will live on forever thanks to all these amazing interviews and ❤ books etc
I’m right there with your thinking. 45 now been thinking it since I 5. Dr Gabor has the perfect platforms to allow others to tap into the same thinking. This awareness can only be but good.
I see Dr Gabor on TH-cam and i start watching all the latest podcasts and interviews. I am sure developing an addiction. What I feel hogging his lectures? Well it stops the pain I had been carrying around for a long time . I am embracing my authenticity without hiccups which I was doing before I listened to him. 🎉🎉!
Dealing with trauma, in my experience, when you allow time to sense these wounds, let it rise up like smoke from your being, allow your energy field or organ, to diffuse (loosen, disperse) through compassion of self, of circumstance, even of perpetrator or your need for the addiction. Allow, let go and give thanks for the shift. I love Dr. Mate's compassion.
Hey Dhru, can you start adding a list of the authors/books mentioned in the interviews? So we can do further reading or explore the works of those people. Thanks for the work you do!
I’m 80 yr old lady n studying Gabor for last 6 years and am doing work re self awareness, self care. Thanks for great episode here.. great facilitator…
I loved this opening sharing from both the speakers this was a impromptu healing for me & inspired to do my own healing. This is love that you are giving to world. Thank you for this wonderful space. Thumbs-up and keep it up your healing is the world's healing🎉❤
This is so powerful discussion. I wonder if you can have podcast about deep & clear communication techniques. I think with shortage of time of parents, good communication might make deep connection & will decrease emotional issues between parents & children & with other friends & relatives!
for me it was the burn of the inustice my familly was making me experience: I never feel lonely, I am never bored with myself, but being not only rejected for being intelligent/aware, but repeatedly attacked with no cause was creating a sense of injustice and helplessness that I felt I could COMBUST SPONTANEOULSY. So I was smoking to calm this sensation. Beware of new-age ideas, not everyone is the same, not everyone is lonely or irresponsible, etc.
.., it’s easy to judge, blame and criticise others, it justifies seperateness and inaction. That trigger⚡️ ~ what happened to you .., could be a cue to take a breath and learn to R.A.I.N (~53mins) This and another comment you made seem to be projecting how your ‘wounders’ made you feel onto someone ‘a wounded healer’ who’s made a huge difference in many lives. It would be kind and compassionate to ask yourself ‘where do I do this?’ …And get to work learning how to heal in the present w/o substances🕊️❤️🩹🙏🏼
I've never been lonely or bored my family has always been around how've I felt like the scapegoat the excuse the target for all their issues... I used to be so angry I used to self harm to avoid lashing out now i cant even touch normal anger I've been stuffing it so long I cannot even be. Upset when I'm unfairly treated and abused and the pain in my body is unrelenting
As someone who works in addiction medicine Gabor You are so right. I have always felt that as individuals we all need to work on our past trauma's. I have always seen addiction as a response to past trauma and as a survival mechanism. Lot's of what he says resonates with me.
This man is just amazing..... How I wish I'd found him years ago but at least I have and I love him . Absolutely Nobel prize for him - he deserves MORE than that. ❤️
5.35pm Sat 9July2023 I agree whole heartedly. Gabor has explained my child's whole life to me. Too late now for me to undo the past. I did my best......but that child - now in his 50's is full of rage and hate against me............
My wake up call @ 72 yrs young was my husbands inability to recover his addictions. He is 64 . I was with him 24 yrs & came to know relapse/recovery would be my demise in health. I surrendered,let go & am grateful I recognized the possible damage to me long term. I sought help,gained insight from these videos & work on my inner child. Thank you for speaking these truths
Dhru, I stumbled on your channel today & I truly loved your discussion with Dr. Gabor Maté. You're an excellent host and awesome orator! I look forward to seeing more of your videos with other guests! Thanks..
![[ ออกกอง ] วัยหนุ่ม 2544 โลกหลังลูกกรง..ทัวร์กองถ่ายหนังใน "คุกของจริง" | JUSTดูIT.](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/vB--aOkZCpw/mqdefault.jpg)
He deserves a Nobel prize for his work.
He really does!!
He recieved the "Order of Canada" the highest recognition of civilian honor.
Indeed! How to go about it! Let's do it!
Absolutely!
Agreed he deserves a Nobel Prize for humanitarianism. He brings hot topic subjects like addiction and brings humanity to why we do what we do! “Addiction is a solution to a problem!” Brilliant!
As a former political prisoner of the Pinochet dictatorship of Chile and exiled in California since 1976 I would like to thank Gabor Maté for his work. I understand now the effect of my personal traumas on my family. How my two girls have been affected by my personal story of incarceration, torture and exile. It’s not too late to do my own self work. Thanks !
So sorry to hear @Tome1973. Muchas bendiciones.
Ĺ
Lamento mucho escuchar esto porque pasé por la misma mierda en Nueva York. Después del 11 de septiembre, tomaron medidas enérgicas contra todas las personas del Medio Oriente y la mayoría fueron encarceladas durante años y todos inocentes incluyéndome a mí. Soy fotoperiodista de la revista alemana más importante de Alemania. Así llegué a USA pensando que era el paraíso en la tierra, que decepción. Cuando has crecido en Europa, no hay nada igual aquí a menos que seas rico. Todavía estoy pasando por el trastorno de estrés postraumático, no he visto a mi hijo en 10 años justo después de que se casó y quiero ver a mis nietos.
¿Te importaría agregarme? Tengo WhatsApp, MSN, Telegram. Me encantaría hablar de esto contigo. Dios te bendiga a ti y a tus hijos 💖🙏🏼
Have you read I SURRENDER by Kathleen Osberger?
So many people are walking through life with an orphaned spirit.
True story black mental health hard ride inna this uk Systerm.
So many injured children, injured by well-intentioned loving parents and schools 😢
Will do Denice as sometimes I come across one after listen to another but find it hard to find it again f I don’t remember the title .
@pamelamohn
God has been talking with me about this recently
When i had cancer, my husband showed his true colors that i could no longer ignore. The deceit and emotional neglect had always been there. The 2 woke me up and i got out.
I feel you
You will stay well
Me too ! 💝
May you be well always.
I've always found it ironic that John McCain walked out on his wife when she developed brain cancer. Then he died of brain cancer later in his life.
I was given five years to live back in 2008 when I was diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis. One year later I married a wonderful kind man who failed to tell me he had been diagnosed with a colon mass in 2007. We had a beautiful loving nurturing 12 year marriage when I realized his health was failing and he told me that he had thought I would die before him. He was given six months to live but died in three weeks. I have had no signs or symptoms of pancreatitis since 2011. He has been gone for 18 months. I asked God to allow my joy to return so I could accomplish good in what time I have remaining. My joy was restored and I uncontrollably shouted with praise, song and dance as a close friend was eyewitness to the elation. So may wonders of which we are yet unaware.
Amen 🙏🏻 Blessings
P
I've never felt more understood by a stranger 😅 I am definitely a product of childhood trauma. I've always felt immense personal guilt and fault for my father's unhappiness growing up. I had no idea it was bc he was dealing with his own demons - I blamed myself. As an adult I am a people pleaser and never want to disappoint anyone. In reality, it's true. I have always secretly just wanted freedom from all the self suppression.
Dr Mate is ahead of his time. It is such a shame the leaders in our countries aren't able to be as enlightened and humble for the good of all people. May wisdom prevail in the world to this level.
If that's not the most beautiful thing I've heard today I will be surprised.
When he said he wrote the book with his son and they had to work out their traumas while writing and then they had a better relationship afterwards!
That is nothing less than a miracle.
It really struck home to me when Gabor alluded to the fact that coming out through the other side of intense suffering, whatever form that may have taken, a person may find themselves stripped of all the 'junk' that led them into that vortex of pain in the first place and find themselves in a mental place that affirms the truth of who they really are. I can attest to this - after a lifetime of finding myself in a state of clinical depression on a fairly regular basis, with the last one being sustained in my life for just over 3 1/2 years... when I finally emerged from that episode, it was akin to a rebirth. Within a year, I found the courage to leave a 39 year marriage that hadn't been working for years. I moved out, met a wonderful lady and my life completely changed for the better... I now have so much creative energy and feel so good about myself, my life, my relationships. I had previously not thought this kind of life was possible in those many past years, all the way back to my early teens. I had been lost to the world, but now I have really found myself and I feel SO grateful.
By fallowing or just reading his book? Thank you!
@@marialupu7770 Back in those early days of suffering from depression, I did not know of Gabor or his books. Rather, I had been following aspects of the Buddhist path for many years and I found that the most helpful practice, which I highly recommend for everyone, is the Tibetan Buddhist-based practice of Loving-Kindness meditation. I adapted it to my own practice and added to it. Here it is:
LOVING KINDNESS MEDITATION
By the grace of the beloved Creator,
May I be well... May I be happy
May I be free from negative thoughts, emotions and impulses
May I be protected in body, mind, soul & spirit
May I be free from all fear & suffering
May I be filled with loving-kindness
May I be filled with joy
May I be at peace and at ease
By the grace of the beloved Creator, may it be so!
_____
By the grace of the beloved Creator,
May < family, friends> be well... May they be happy
May they be free from negative thoughts, emotions and impulses
May they be protected in body, mind, soul & spirit
May they be free from all fear & suffering
May they be filled with loving-kindness
May they be filled with joy
May they be at peace and at ease
By the grace of the beloved Creator, may it be so!
_____
By the grace of the beloved Creator,
May all beings be well... May they be happy
May they be free from negative thoughts, emotions and impulses
May they be protected in body, mind, soul & spirit
May they be free from all fear & suffering
May they be filled with loving-kindness
May they be filled with joy
May they be at peace and at ease
By the grace of the beloved Creator, may it be so!
That's a balanced person with hindsight and hope and knowledge from experience 😊
Yes I had a rebirth experience like that problem was I got retraumatused by the one I opened up to ! I'm away from them now but it's not been easy to recover although I'm still in touch with myself from the original recovery , I don't have an example to relearn things from
Q❤😅
If you only ever watch one of Gabor’s talks, this is the one. It is pure gold.
yes
I was molested as a youngster, probably around 10 or something… don’t really remember the time frame. All I knew was it was inappropriate and I didn’t do anything about it, then. I wondered why other people were stronger than me, when they could talk about theirs or to say No, molester. I’ll be turning 40, in July and I’ just now told my Mom… it’s just dawning on me how traumatic this experiences with my cousin have been for me. And the joking that came with it and not feeling like anyone was ever looking out for me on my behalf. Job hopping, relationship ruining, alcohol, sex, cannabis. All of it because 30 years ago. I started secretly watching porn with my cousin and how that unraveled into a whole lot of what looked like disappointment from my dad and his side of the family. So, withdraw and isolation because “ no one understands.” I understand now, this is all part of my and “the,” plan. As unfortunate for my life as it’s been. I’m finally closing this damn chapter of my life BEFORE this next part of my life begins.
You were a child dealing with a sick pervert. Do not take the blame or shame of that sexual abuse. It is NOT yours to own.
I'm happy for you embarking on the next chapter of your life. You deserve to feel joy, comfort and to have close nourishing relationships. Keep going
Yes go 🎉🎉🎉
I feel your pain,at age 8-9 i looked at my would be 55+ old molestor and told him, I will tell your wife what you are doing to me,at that point he was pulling my tongue out of my face with his nasty kissing,It just felt like his entire mouth was covering my face,He was about to cone down on me fully clothed . He stopped dead in his tracts..he was my moms bestfriend,s husband,I am 67 and to this day wonder i why he stopped.Its a long story,but it stopped there,and my mom took me away from them,i was living with them temporarely.She believed me right away when i told her.I had a praying mother.whose prayers sent rescue angels to rescue me.
I wish you well and hope everything is going.. however, your problems didn't start with watching porn, your trauma is deeply connected to your parents and other figures who were or were t available. I'm not condemning them or making them "bad". But no, the trauma wasn't the problem or even being molested, the trauma was not feeling safe, which is why you were molested in the first place..no one is blaming by the way. However, the molester knew that you were were vulnerable. Again, we are not blaming you or your parents.
ok, I'm like 2-1/2 minutes in and Dr. Gabor Mate just gave me the answer to why I developed an eating disorder from my childhood. I am in tears. It's a good thing and I am taking notes! Thank you Dhru and Dr. Gabor for your wisdom.
Please share your notes
All eating disorders like all addictions come from the domestic abuse.
And finished audio listening to his two books read by his son Daniel … myth of normal and in the realm of hungry ghost. Both are really really good books.
Much love to you and those you will be equipped to help. ❤
It doesn’t take dr mate to know every human was traumatized at birth … in our family of origin…. From dna passed trauma generations and from a screwed up society …. Nothing in life is affirming except nature and humans can’t seem to live on our own planet
I just bought this man’s 4 book set off Amazon to support his work. Absolute genius, and a endless amount of love coming your way from the people you are helping heal.
I think all addiction is a response to loneliness. Isolation. Every addict I know can be lonely even in the midst of a crowd. The isolation is a profound internal experience and it can only be ended from within.
But the reason they are lonely will lead back to insecurity and low self-worth, and to feeling unsafe. And that goes back to infancy and childhood.
One does NOT need be addicted to feel the Real sense of isolation or loneliness .. but to wake up & see that is what's "purposefully" imposed on western society.
We're all addicted to something . The worst is UNSOCIAL MEDIA . God help the young generations..
Loneliness is a prison in and of itself and also extremely painful. Selfesteem, self-worth, and self-respect are usually absent and a deep sadness set's in.
You literally wrote how I feel any advice on breaking out of said prison@@tazzywazzy7599
45 minutes in and I’m starting to understand why I shut down emotionally and become so harsh with my children when they are being “difficult”.
Amazing ❤😊
For over a year and a half I have been agrophobic with immense anxiety issues and a panic disorder I’ve also been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and ocd and of course depression I watch this with interest and a growing realization that it’s not my fault all the abusive relationships all the self harm the hair pulling the want to continually not conform to any kind of normalcy was all a cry for help which was caused by an over critical mother and a father who being a firefighter was really available emotionally and had a very volatile relationship with his family but I also realized that they weren’t responsible that they too had difficulty in childhood and trauma from the past my dad died nearly ten years ago and I’ve never missed him or forgiven him for how he was my mum is nearly ninety and in the last year and a half has had to experience her daughter taking three overdoses and isolating herself to the point she can no longer go out where do we get off this emotional and traumatic merry go round yes it starts with ourselves I am gradually learning to try and live again and I hope for a full recovery I apologize for the long rant another habit of mine always apologizing hahaha 😢
Yes. I was thinking similar.
My sons father had a train wreck of a childhood and he tortures us over it. It’s frustrating to say the least and modern laws tie my hands at times from the treatment kid gets on visits.
Best of luck! 🙏🌟
Dr. Gabor addresses the most important issues in our society. It's our Root Chakra. Thanks for having him as your guest.
yes Dr Gabor deserves the nobel prize for all his humanitarian work that has impacted the world 🙏
It's stunning how much a person is controlled by trauma. I've got CPTSD and don't even know who I am because of my programming. And as a rebellious artist I thought I was being myself. How wrong I was. Nothing but a coping mechanism.
Truth! Well said
I'm trying to get back into art, what's your medium
I was born and raised in South Korea till six. Families then and even today in some homes slept on the heated floors. when I went back to Korea at 22 year old they still were sleeping on the heated floor and the all the family slept together. When I came to America through adoption I was put in a bed by myself and fell out of bed every night. My adopted father got up and put me back in bed when he heard the thud. I did go back and reunited with my biological family to visit when I had my own baby. When I had my baby she was put in a crib after nursing and fall asleep but stayed in bed with me when she woke up to be fed at night. Then she stayed in our bed till morning. I also homeschooled my daughters till they were 16 then they finished their education in a high school. My oldest daughter and I still 1 mile apart and I drove my granddaughters to school till last month when my oldest granddaughter got her drivers license last month. I took them to nursery care through junior in high school! Listen to the song by Cat Stevens Cats in the Cradle about a son and father and how the son treated his father just like his father treated his son. It’s a great song. How we treat our children is how they treat us!
I am an ovarian cancer survivor. I have CPTSD. Narcissistic mother. Repeated trauma. = ovarian cancer at 37 years old. I 100 percent believe this.
I 100% believe you.
Parkinsons disease is the final result of a traumatic childhood in Franco's Spain, the accumulation of bad choice relationships, and disastrous life choices trying to overcome the pain. Im listening carefully to you...looking for someone trained in compassionate inquiry so i may have some remaining years where 8 can enjoy life. Its been hell till now. Thanks for your work dr Matè.
have you found any resources from mr mate or someone else on this correlation to parkinsons?
Bless you. My mum had parkinsonism and of late, I have developed some of her first symptoms. I have learned to love myself, do gentle movements( somatic) to release trauma ,am eating well and supplementing some needed nutrients- via a good nutritionist. I am happier and I nourish my mind by listening to good people that I love to hear. I hope you achieve deep peace and joy in your time left on this earth. Talk to your angels,God, higher self often too and most importantly don't live to please others. Be your wonderful divine self. You are perfect.❤
@@indigoqueen77 no. Not at all
Often things don’t make sense, then you listen to G Mate’ & it make sense. He’s brilliant & also been through so much 🙏 Brilliant man.
Yesssss omg when you said women have more stress because we’re taking care of our big babies !! Yes! I’ve been taking care of one for 20 years and he has DRAINED me! I know have no power, love, happiness, for myself that I’ve given up. I’m DRAINED!!! I can’t raise someone who his mother and father should of.
OMG Sister!!! Yes!!!
"Self-care is how I take my power back"
Hugs and strength to you/us!
Exactly ! So opt out . Look after you , choose you
Self care please. Pain makes us learn precious lessons without blaming.
This is SO powerful... understanding addiction as the solution to something you didn’t get in childhood. Addiction is not the problem ❤
Gabors lectures are always educational. My life was transformed by his book scattered minds. What a wonderful ,brilliant , humble man, a gift to the world!
Yes my daughter and i started reading that book,i see my role in her ADD dx .it saddened me.If onlybi had this info 26 years ago.
Yes, so True, he is a gift. 🙏
Thank you Dhru for having Dr Mate on your podcast.
You allowed Dr Mate to talk and with no interruptions. That’s a true excellent podcaster. You didn’t throw out conversation to make yourself look like the “know it all guy”. You respectfully allowed Dr Mate to converse openly.
Great podcasting Dhru!!❤
😊
Agreed💥
Gabor Mate is a treasure for this world.
My MOTHER raised 6 kids on her own and did a sterling job. NONE of us became psychologically troubled or blamed her or my late dad for our shit. We simply looked at our faults, corrected them, and changed course. I do not think they make mothers like that anymore. She said things as they were.
Awesome! 👍
I am not sure "they" still make kids like you😊. Might it be possoble or even likely that your children speak about you the way you speak about your mother? Be blessed
Look deeper 😂
This seemingly innocuous comment is an indictment of all other mothers who fail to be as “sterling” as your own; did she suffer no pain abandoned with 6 kids? Or did she deny her pain and trauma, sacrificing her own health for her children? What lesson did her self-denial give to her daughters about motherhood? About the virtues of self-denial & “independence?”
What did she teach you about deep empathy for yourself or others?
@spidehinshock88880 exactly, it's an interplay of genetics, connections, so much more.
Good for your mother she sounds like everything your family needed, sadly not everyone is the same though, some people spend a lifetime working out they have the power to change things people like Gabor are here for those that don't get the good advice we need.
This types of videos help me become a better mother for my kids so much knowledge to absorb . Grateful for people like them who actually take the time of day to share with us . ❤
I was very impressed by the book “When the body says no” 20 years ago, it is so nice to see the writer here.❤
Brilliant talk, I like how Dhru lets Dr Mate talk and not interrupting him, excellent
Good point!
I’m just crying with truth . Touching my childhood memory and then my own children now my grandchildren. I am very grateful for this podcast I came across today .
Love this man. He has helped me find myself and understand why I do what I do and reach for a better life. I love his truth and vulnerability.
Beneath Gabor's message lies the huge challenge of taking responsibility for our life without falling in the self blame trap
I am being treated for addictions the support agencies have no qualifications in the underlying causes they make you feel like you're weak and pathetic I see it but there are those long term addicts who just take the prescriptions but will not stop because no one has told them what the cause of addiction is. That they are in pain
I agree, but wouldn’t say it’s his central thesis. Lots of people share this opinion on taking responsibility for our lives. Mate’s message is different.
1:02: 🔑 Dr. Gabor Maté explains that addictions are not a result of sin, mistakes, or bad choices, but rather survival mechanisms developed in childhood.
10:02: 💡 Cancer can function as a wake-up call, prompting individuals to pay attention to their own needs and true selves.
19:49: 💪 Everyone is doing their best and has the opportunity to continue working on themselves.
30:17: 💔 Trauma can have a profound impact on individuals, affecting how they live, think, and relate to others.
40:06: 🔍 The system profits off the stresses it creates through consumer goods and entertainment.
49:51: 🕐 Early imprints can have a significant impact on our lives and relationships.
58:59: 🔑 Autoimmune conditions are often developed by people who suppress their anger and prioritize others' emotions over their own, causing stress and illness.
1:08:45: 🧠 The addicted brain has circuits that don't work well, including the endorphin circuitry which provides pain relief, pleasure, reward, and connection to others.
1:18:55: 🌍 The speaker discusses the need for society to become conscious of trauma and its impact on both individual and societal levels.
1:28:02: 📚 The video discusses the book 'The Drama of the Gifted Child' by Alice Miller and explores the concept of being a sensitive child.
1:38:57: ! The speaker discusses the negative effects of interfering with natural processes in childbirth and the importance of meeting the physiological needs of infants.
1:48:20: 📊 The speaker questions why, despite advancements in resources, science, and wealth, people are living with chronic illness and experiencing high rates of COVID-19 deaths in the United States.
1:58:21: 🧬 Genetics are not the full picture when it comes to disease, as most diseases have very little genetic component.
Recap by Tammy AI
Thankyou Tammy Al
Obrigada, pela tradução!!! Gratidão ❤
Thank you for taking the time to do this ❤👍🏾
Thank you !! ❤
Thank you
It's 10 min in and I'm crying like there is no tommorrow that's how deeply I relate to everything that's been said.😢
Me too 😢❤
Such a powerful truth about the childhood need to people please, the sense of isolation and the effect on the body. I remember feeling the loss of my life force at a very young age due to an unpredictable, critical and shaming environment. I’ve been struggling with debilitating chronic fatigue throughout my adulthood.
Gayyeee
I'm not sure what the comment above me meant and I hope it's a language I'm ignorant of but you're not alone and I appreciate you showing that I'm not either.
I didnt have any idea who he was until I heard his name two yrs ago. I was flying with a lady who had been to his seminars in New York. It was only a couple months ago when I came across his name on the internet. Then it clicked what the lady had said to me previous. In all the years of therapy, counselling, groups and self pondering has anything been so profound to me as listening to his talks on different podcasts. It definitely is a game-changer and an eye-opener!! Thank-you Gabor for being so authentic to show us your human too! It gives me hope to press forward and finally give myself the recognition I truly deserve after 59yrs. I recieved many answers to questions I've thought about for years. It's all making sense now. Thank you ❤ May God bless and keep you to go onward with the gifts you've been given 😇🙏💗
I like Gabor's peaceful, comfortable, centred tone of voice.
I've never understood why on earth I repeated the same movie without being able to change it, new characters, new dialogues, new goals.
I liked Arno Gruen's books and the way he shows how insane our society is.
I've already seen Dr Gabor Mate on TH-cam but he looked so sad that I avoided dealing with my own pain/challenge 🙁
Avoiding pain and pretending I'm all right is my journey.
My body tried to shake me about my own needs through my myopia at 6 years old and ten years ago my thyroid.
I do meditation and some qigong. Then I remembered what Richard Gordon said *emotions are buried alive" 😳
I had to do the work and face the pain, accept it, express it and forgive myself.
So, only recently I was ready to listen to Dr Gabor Mate.
I"m really grateful for this opportunity 🙋 💛
I have listened to Dr Gabor for over a decade - & read his books but actually now that I think of it - never have seen him cry. Almost once I felt he was close - but he identifies the insanity in our culture & his perspectives are spot-on
i did start with childhood trauma when i found alice miller, she was one of the first with this concept. Unfortunally she passed away years ago at high age. Mr Gabor Maté made it logical and way more digestable. Alice miller was hard to follow. Also mr Maté goes more into detail and more into the current society. I bought his book and gave it to my daughter for her birthday. Its great. Thanks for this interview and im happy that alice miller is not forgotten.
I want to congratulate Dhru for your well prepared interview. You are privileged of having this conversation and getting the best of Dr. Maté’s insights. I have watched several of his interviews, but this one combined science, emotions, behaviours, social contents and a deep journey to the cores. You directed that . Way to go from both perspectives: you as an interviewer and Gabor’s projection as a human being!
I cried twice through this beautiful honest conversation. Thanks from the heart to these two incredible people ❤
Cried too ❤️🩹
Gayyeee
Same here.✌️
I'm a podcast junkie. Dhru you are really great at this. Besides your stellar communication skills for a wide spectrum of topics your genuine respect for your guests really show. Rooting for your continuous success. All the best!
My Dad was mentally abusive growing up, then I married a very pysical abusive husband through three children, that had bylolar mental condition for 15 years, then lived single for awhile, then got remarried to a narcissist from hell, that put me through metal hell. I ended up with two mini strokes, and got fybromayalsia, through all this that I endured it messed up my central nervious system, and live wirh severe pain daily. I have been very happy for 8 years now in my life, but still have fybromayalsia, and on meds to deal with it. I have forgiven everyone that hurt me, but im still here suffering with the consequences of it all. My central nervious system doesnt know how to deal with no stress are chaos. I pray the healing comes soon. 🙏
Thanks to Dr. Maté, for giving eloquent words and validation to the inner wisdom that many people silently know and preserve themselves and try to transmit to their children. May the multitudes be healed and reunited in true authentic love, the agapé within us that has been surpressed by war, tragedy, and pain.
I admire Dr mate’s self awareness and willingness to own his behavior. I feel like his wife has helped him become the person he is by being a strong self aware person herself. His idea of women having much higher rates of autoimmune and other diseases because they are carrying the emotional load for their partners and families is right on. I think it’s also because women are conditioned to be critical of themselves, including judging their worth based on superficial and empty standards. In that way our society and many other patriarchal societies fetishize women’s bodies and cause shallow and unbalanced societies that are unable to build rooted and spiritually wise culture. Getting through the existential issues the world is facing requires strong partnerships of true adults. We’ve got to get it together and grow up. In part that will happen when men start to question their conditioning and let go of their ego dependence on being the “dominant” gender. Don’t believe your own press. It’s a trap to keep you a baby man. They need to start doing their personal psychological and spiritual work. It’s heartening to see Dr mate being a role model for this.
Dhru , thanks for the great interview.
How do you differentiate "willingness to own his behaviour" from "justifying his behaviour"?
@Vs Sm My guess is by asking oneself, "am I holding myself accountable, am i owning my own responsibility for contributing to x, y or z?".
@@ClearMountainWay The question is not about how you do it for yourself, but how you understand another person's behaviour to admire it. By reading Dr. Maté's mind?
No one does a better job of fetishizing female bodies with critique, comparisons, jealous profanities, subtle mockery than women themselves.
This went off-track pretty quickly..
Listening to Gabor has changed my life. Thank you so much. You deserve to get a noble
What an honest person. A true genius. I feel emotionally healed just by listening to him. He's interviewed by an excellent individual as well. ❤
Dr. Gabor is amazing. I’m from Vancouver BC and was strung out in the Down Town East Side in Vancouver BC Canada for 4 yrs. Horrifying times in my life. 10 yrs ago I pulled myself out. I wish this man was still available for counseling at my time in this area. He’s the only one that understands how an addict really feels.
Brilliant talk thankyou. My gp looked at me like a crazy person when I mentioned the connection between trauma and disease, shows the lack of training they did. I've got Auto immune and had trauma so I've got a massive interest in this topic. Gabor you are amazing. ❤
Sabotage I'm sure is a huge problem with me and others expected to never show emotions or feelings. 1950s,60s most parents rarely showed any compassion whatsoever, as if it was the wrong thing to ever do, so wrong! Any wonder emotional intelligence is very low, why mental health is severely needed!
So glad, this is finally being discussed, so important ❤ many years without knowing
When hurt we shut down our heart... When we see others suffer we are not as open to them as we might be.
I love Dr Mate, I’ve been listening to him for 6 years. He is brilliant and has is a unique voice about health and mental wellness that is vital for us to know. We live in confusing times and he is a science based MD who shares his wisdom freely to benefit humanity.
He's so right. When I had my relapse it was because I couldn't deal with my surroundings,and my addiction numbed it out. I became very ill and decided ok I'm done. And the saddest thing is when it all wore off, my childhood memories,my father's suicide, it came flooding back to me harder than ever. So what I was really numbing out was the trauma I didn't even know I had that I need to work on. Everything he says is bang on
I’m very sorry you had to experience what you describe. All the best to you
@@andrewsnow1933 thank you. It's a life long daily process, but will get there. All the best to you too.
May I suggest listening to the meditations of Lauren ostrowski Fenton? I listen to her almost daily. She has a very nurturing demeanor. They’re on TH-cam.
My father was alcoholic. I vowed to myself to never become an addict. I suffer from childhood trauma, too.
I can totally see why people turn to substances to numb their pain. I totally get it. I guess I have chosen to live with the pain as it ebbs and flows. I know that if I were to become addicted to drugs or alcohol I’d be adding another problem on top of an already existing one.
But the uneasiness of life is overbearing often. I commend anyone who overcomes an addiction. My father never did…. Wish he had.
I hope your work reaches millions because America has been broken for a long long time! Especially now😢😊
My husband and i have envisoined and. Setting up a family structure that will make sure our grandchildren will be only brought up with love and abundant blessings and care so as not to keep passing trauma after trauma. It stops with us and my children. 🙏
I truly heard you about "the big scare." At age 10 I found out I was adopted and the axis of my world changed. In a split second I realised I'd been living with "strangers." I am now a recovered alcoholic of 40 years sobriety and very happy as a fulltime artist and poet. My body has also healed itself of things I never thought possible. Thank you for this wonderful ongoing journey of learning.
My addiction was suffering, feeling guilty and shame ...now I know why..I been listening for more than a year to videos and it helps learning about the self. I was a people pleaser. I would help them without them even asking for help. Otherwise I would feel guilty and down. Today I'm happy I did because I did touched hearts. For some I was their enemy for just being me. And those are out of my life
who else watched this in spurts? I started b4 work, then after, rewind.....whaaaat? SO great. So Real. This is a keeper, re watcher = so much depth easy to miss something on one pass thru
💥💜💥Thank you Dhru for sharing Gabor with the world with such eloquence. Wish everyone in our society would listen to Gabor. He's an earth angel so to speak. He's a MEGA HEALER❣️❣️❣️
The relationship with his son is so beautiful.
LOVE YOU GABOR!
My takeaway: compassion is the cure for everything...
Agree, but for the self first otherwise nothing left for a balanced life.
Gabor mate is that last remaining light on the hill. He has studied oneself and provides professional and authentic work and information
Dr Gabor you saved me & my daughter when her dad was dying of his late late stage addiction. Your words & even your voice & your book the realm of the hungry ghost kept me SANE. We were separated but he lived close & was still very much the centre of our world. He was a lovely man who’s terrible “disease cut his life down &dragged him into the depths of hell. With your book &12 step meetings helped us not fall into that pit too & helped. Us both because she loved her dad & frankly I still loved my kind heroic estranged husband who died of his addiction - but hating addicted people - is what we see in society. I didn’t hate him. I had compassion because I understood his trauma after reading in the realm of the hungry ghost
Thank you Doctor. You are one of my ALL TIME favorite, and have helped through one of most difficult time in my life. You gave me the gift of not hating myself.. ever greatful ❤❤❤
Hes soo Amazing ❤Look Brian Scoot , Michael Bernard Beckwith, Dr Joseph Murfy orh trend Shelton up if you don’t know them Already ❤they will make you Grow and Heal yourself even more ❤
Dr. Mate's display of his vulnerabilities and openess of past traumas and addictions is genuine and rare. Makes his research and views even more convincing and heartfelt. This particular webcam chat felt very intimate, and displayed Dr. Mate undisputed empathy and humbleness that would otherwise be muted in more staged settings. Thank you for the host and Dr. Mate for sharing this.
Well, my illness came as a child and I was diagnosed by twelve with Crohn's. I couldn't have this kind of epiphany at that age. Just now at 50 realizing that I've been walking around with clenched guts my whole life.
Yes..I relate..Crohn's at 16..blamed on bacteria in lake when I was camping. I believe the stress hat started with abuse at 6 from nuns..and always needing to "do better" by mom n teachers. Crohn's is misunderstood but treatable if done with the correct mindset.
7:18 woah!!
Lacking self value becoming workaholics? THAT makes a load of sense as i zoom out a bit more and apply the new dound wisdoms to the knowledge i already have, how purely serene to have connectivity between matter and reason, thank you beautiful earth angel star brother
Dhru this is for you. Dr Gabor made a clever analogy for everything I suffered here and in other videos but your skills to navigate the conversation is astonishing and you helped the great man deliver this sacred message to the world. Great work man to say the least 🎉
Dr. Gabor Mate deserves the Order of Canada
Such a brilliant man sharing this knowledge to help millions .God bless you Dr Gabor
Such a wonderful host , wise , kind , listening , well articulated ! And Gabo such a knowledgeable man ❤. Thank u 🎉🎉🎉
Dr. Gabor, I can only image how many of us would give anything, travel anywhere to listen to one of your lectures and to ask a question. A life gift would be to be analyzed by you. Thank you.♥️
It just dawned on me... when I was a kid, my mom would try and get me to stop crying by saying, "what are you crying for? I'll give you something to cry about. Now, in consideration of generational trauma, possibly when her mother's family was living through and fleeing genocide, maybe crying could get you killed. I am trying to understand.
Yes makes sense
Thank you for this interview--and for repeating the previous interview content inside it (1:06:23 - 1:31:40). Humanity will change its habits and culture and use what we now know to support one another. We are waking up. And conversations like this is helping to make that happen. When people know better, they do better. Thank you, again, to both of you. 🙏
I have an addiction/dependency on daydreaming. It's a survival mechanism I guess, to avoid facing my reality. I want to face my reality but it's hard because I know that I my reality is based on my perception and not reality 🙄. So it's probably fear of the unknown, which kind of reminds me of codependency traits... being controlling. So I'm chillen, trying to be compassionate to myself, trying to be a good listener and pray for people but not try to fix them, and let God do what He's been doing, which is work my situations out for my good and His glory, grow me in Christ, and help me apply His principals to my circumstances daily as I opt to check my motives so that I learn to make wise decisions to have pure love for my neighbor as I learn to love myself. This is my second time watching this video. It encourages compassion.
People look at me sideways when I categorize my daydreaming as an addiction.
Yes, maladaptive daydreaming (dissociation). I have tried to find information online about it because I think my ex would do this but I had no proof and my ex wouldn't admit to it. Professor Sam Vaknin says there's not enough data for "maladaptive daydreaming" to be considered a disorder. I don't know how anyone can say that because I've read a lot of comments from daydreamers on the rare video I can find on the topic.
Sam Vaknin recently made a video titled "Attachment Styles of Fantasy Prone Personalities (Length, Intensity of Shared Fantasy)" which addresses it a little bit (he has many good videos).
❤i am so grateful for the time gabor spend on sharing his wisdom with us .i can only imagine the future when he is no longer here.. gabor mate you will live on forever thanks to all these amazing interviews and ❤ books etc
I’ve been saying this for 30 years …. Interesting that now this man is preaching what I’ve said for ever
I’m right there with your thinking. 45 now been thinking it since I 5. Dr Gabor has the perfect platforms to allow others to tap into the same thinking. This awareness can only be but good.
@@ailsa78yes, 100th Monkey!
I see Dr Gabor on TH-cam and i start watching all the latest podcasts and interviews. I am sure developing an addiction. What I feel hogging his lectures? Well it stops the pain I had been carrying around for a long time . I am embracing my authenticity without hiccups which I was doing before I listened to him. 🎉🎉!
Dealing with trauma, in my experience, when you allow time to sense these wounds, let it rise up like smoke from your being, allow your energy field or organ, to diffuse (loosen, disperse) through compassion of self, of circumstance, even of perpetrator or your need for the addiction. Allow, let go and give thanks for the shift. I love Dr. Mate's compassion.
Many thanks for this comment and please for my girl of 8 years how can i do in her trauma??
Hey Dhru, can you start adding a list of the authors/books mentioned in the interviews? So we can do further reading or explore the works of those people. Thanks for the work you do!
Yes please!!
I’m 80 yr old lady n studying Gabor for last 6 years and am doing work re self awareness, self care. Thanks for great episode here.. great facilitator…
I loved this opening sharing from both the speakers this was a impromptu healing for me & inspired to do my own healing. This is love that you are giving to world. Thank you for this wonderful space. Thumbs-up and keep it up your healing is the world's healing🎉❤
This is so powerful discussion. I wonder if you can have podcast about deep & clear communication techniques. I think with shortage of time of parents, good communication might make deep connection & will decrease emotional issues between parents & children & with other friends & relatives!
❤
Why do I want to hug this man?
Bc you're deluded.
for me it was the burn of the inustice my familly was making me experience: I never feel lonely, I am never bored with myself, but being not only rejected for being intelligent/aware, but repeatedly attacked with no cause was creating a sense of injustice and helplessness that I felt I could COMBUST SPONTANEOULSY. So I was smoking to calm this sensation. Beware of new-age ideas, not everyone is the same, not everyone is lonely or irresponsible, etc.
.., it’s easy to judge, blame and criticise others, it justifies seperateness and inaction.
That trigger⚡️ ~ what happened to you .., could be a cue to take a breath and learn to R.A.I.N (~53mins)
This and another comment you made seem to be projecting how your ‘wounders’ made you feel onto someone ‘a wounded healer’ who’s made a huge difference in many lives.
It would be kind and compassionate to ask yourself ‘where do I do this?’ …And get to work learning how to heal in the present w/o substances🕊️❤️🩹🙏🏼
I've never been lonely or bored my family has always been around how've I felt like the scapegoat the excuse the target for all their issues... I used to be so angry I used to self harm to avoid lashing out now i cant even touch normal anger I've been stuffing it so long I cannot even be. Upset when I'm unfairly treated and abused and the pain in my body is unrelenting
Sense of injustice and helplesnes you describe is a sense of profound lonelyness
Thank you for this interview. I appreciate that Dr. Gabor shared his own trauma and his vulnerable experiences ❤
What an unbelievable genius.
We need to learn all these before having children. ❤🎉❤
Excellent video. I highly recommend watching it. This contains the type of knowledge that can make your life better.
As someone who works in addiction medicine Gabor You are so right. I have always felt that as individuals we all need to work on our past trauma's. I have always seen addiction as a response to past trauma and as a survival mechanism. Lot's of what he says resonates with me.
Gabor's linguistics for a self introduction at a 12 step meeting is a game-changer for the million's or one person who adopts it. At 01:15:00 in.
This man is just amazing..... How I wish I'd found him years ago but at least I have and I love him .
Absolutely Nobel prize for him - he deserves MORE than that. ❤️
5.35pm Sat 9July2023 I agree whole heartedly.
Gabor has explained my child's whole life to me.
Too late now for me to undo the past. I did my best......but that child - now in his 50's is full of rage and hate against me............
35:29 so true. We are sooo broken. Society wise. So broken.
I love and respect Gabor’s honesty.
My wake up call @ 72 yrs young was my husbands inability to recover his addictions. He is 64 . I was with him 24 yrs & came to know relapse/recovery would be my demise in health. I surrendered,let go & am grateful I recognized the possible damage to me long term.
I sought help,gained insight from these videos & work on my inner child.
Thank you for speaking these truths
Dhru, I stumbled on your channel today & I truly loved your discussion with Dr. Gabor Maté. You're an excellent host and awesome orator!
I look forward to seeing more of your videos with other guests! Thanks..
He's the first person that got me to empathize with myself.
this talk is one of the best of DR, Mate.Thank you.
I am so happy for these you tube channels with Dr. Gabor Mate'. Thanks for sharing he is a Brilliant man.