I always think about this. Men should be able to like things considered by society "feminine" without necessarily being an LGBTQ man. And women should be able to like things considered by society "masculine" without necessarily being an LGBTQ woman. They're just material, they don't have consciousness and thus they don't have a personality. Everyone should have the freedom to like any material equally.
Still, being a masculine trans woman or a feminine trans man is really hard - many other trans men and women kick them down for "giving trans people a bad name".
My bf is better at doing his eyebrows than I am at doing mine. Sometimes he does mine! He is a wonderful father to our child and his step children. I love it that that he always dresses well and looks good. He always looks amazing! We take turns with child care, chores and errands. We fix things together and make the best of what we have.
I work in a pub where I get a lot of come-ons from lary so-called "men's men" - I call them totally void of personality clones. One day a guy comes in with his buddies and orders a wine, to a chorus of: "GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY!" He simply looked up and said "Yes, yes I am gay." Now, the guy probably wasn't gay, he was being facetious, and this made me like him so much that I served him first all night.
@@janejane1154 Yeah, every alpha female (hot, healthy, pretty face and nice body) I know likes big, strong men. That's all I've ever experienced, too-- but, obviously if they are going to date me, they also like (crave) what I look like.
I am a dude that is so frustrated with these gender roles, I’ve isolated myself, become depressed in the past, questioned my gender, had a literal identity crisis... it’s been insanely hard to be at all comfortable with who I am; and it’s still not easy to feel normal, or happy because of male stereotypes.
Nick Hyde once you do whatever you feel like doing you'll feel so much better. Just don't care what people think and go for it man. Do what you think will make you happy. ❤
Nick Hyde You gotta accept yourself and disregard what people say. I'm a man, I know that but I don't do things that most men do and that's fine. I like my life, I like the way I am, and I'm successful doing what I'm doing. Being an average man has so many limitations. Be proud and happy that you happened to be different and didn't fall into that boring and limiting life.
Hmmm I know how all of the comments here seem to be reinforcing your idea that gender roles are somehow bad. However, all, and I really do mean all, of the data shows that people who show signs of gender dysphoria suffer from a whole gamut of mental health issues. Gender roles work and those who dont adhere to them do much worse in all areas of life.
I found it so sexy. And I find guys like this guy, Nick, TRULY strong guys, internally strong, not succumbing to stereotypes and disrespecting women ESPECIALLY sexy. And I think a lot of women do.
Real men don't "want to be pretty". None I know and lots of my closest friends are world class athletes. People can "like" whatever they want. No one is stopping you.
lockandloadlikehell Your comment contradicts itself. Real men can’t like feminine stuff but everyone can be feminine. You’re an example of what this man is talking about. Society tells him he can’t be a real man if he’s pretty. You prove that point.
No we really don't... It is perfectly acceptable for people to be themselves in modern society, all this dude is doing is screeching in the wind because some people can me mean...
Whenever I'm out for a drink with my boyfriend in a pub and I push myself back form laughing. I like beer, he doesn't, but the waiter or the waitress, regardless the order we made, systematically will hand me his cola and him my beer. OOh, man u.u
Daniel Kö thats why I never assume. I’m a server and if I’m taking drinks to a table where I don’t know who ordered what, I’ll ask. Also, I’m a woman and I quite prefer beer to wine. I also really like bourbon and whiskey.
19.272 views and it's 2017 now. I hope Nick Thornton will do another Ted Talk about this subject in the future. More people should watch this and recognise that it is truth what he said.
I don't disagree. But despite the points on gender seeming self evident, our culture continues to manufacture art, business and society that does not reflect who we are. Despite it being self evident to you and I, there's a lot of people who have genuinely never though about gender constructions and my hope was that humour would help them feel less attacked and ready to engage with something that, despite your enlightened view, is still a major hurdle for most.
As a trans and gender non conforming person this talk is my existence. When you don't fit in the neat boxes it scares people, which is both really sad but also really funny. Like is my makeup paired with my tie and muscles really too much? How dare I shave my head AND do ballet!!?? THE HORROR
There's all ridiculous stuff about "Women are attracted to guys with their shirt off and big muscles" But to be honest? Boys with earrings, or heels, are way more attractive to me
EndrGirl6! There’s a name for women attracted to the feminine. It’s fine, but it’s just your personal preference. Most straight women are attracted to the masculine.
You missing the point here. It's exactly not about this gender bender nonsense, it's the middle ground. You can be a masculine man without enjoying beer and football and be a feminine woman without drinking wine and enjoying shopping. These miner differences are just silly to over judge, like we do in society.
Oh I think just I saw my twin flame. Kudos to you! And thank you for putting yourself out there. And for putting into words so much of what I have been thinking and feeling for years.
Longhaired (goth/metal) transguy watching this while knitting a scarf ^-^ It's honestly fun to break these norms, and as a bonus I'll have a super cozy scarf next winter ^-^
This is beautiful and so very true. What a confident and strong man Nick is. This is the beauty that comes from inner growth and healing. We become free to just be.
And a guy that adores me I can't even get serious with, because he doesn't show me ANY emotions, any vulnerabilities, anything at all except surface talk.
It's all well and good and a step in the right direction, but I wish he had gone into the harmful aspects that gender roles place on out society. Men are 3:1 times more likely to commit suicide than women, which is no shocker when you realize that from a young age boys are taught that they have to be masculine, tall, muscled and aren't allowed to cry or show emotion, because "only girls cry". Suppressing your emotions builds up, especially if you have a mental disorder like depression. They're taught that only "masculine" emotions are allowed to be expressed, that they have to be angry or aggressive. And it's harmful to everyone. If men are taught that being "feminine" is weak or shameful, then women are automatically painted as weak and lesser. Think about it. If a boy is called a "pussy" it's this terrible awful thing. A woman's genitals. However if you're called a "dick" it's less of an insult. Because at least THEN you're MALE genitals. I dunno, I'm going off on a tangent. Point is; feminism.
And don't you think that opposite factor might be at work as well. That radicalfeminism has created atmosphere where masculine traits are somehow shameful and are supressed? Think elementary schools where traits exhibited typically by boys are punished and berated while traits more typical for girls are rewarded. Add to the stew fact that a lot of boys lack male figures when growing up who would teach them how to handle being man. For example very natural testosterone-fueled agressive traits almost every boy/man will feel in his life at some points need to be managed and released in socially acceptable manner. I am sorry but I think it might be very hard for female parent and/or educator to truly understand and relate... In part I agree with you. Culture of toxic masculinity and machism is definitely harmful. (Interestingly enough it is fairly modern western invention. In a lot of "primitive" cultures men were able to hunt and fight and so on but at the same time had no shame when crying about death of loved one and so on..) But so is Looking at masculinity through our fingers and not letting boys just be boys.
I dont think it is gender roles that makes men act like that. When you have more testosterone you are more likely to be violent, etc especially women are actually more suicidal its just that men are more successful. Women would most likely kill themselves passively like by taking pills while men would do something more like shoot themselves.
in response to this second part, no one's debating biology here. Gender and sex are two different things and much of what we deem "thinking different" is culturally based, not biologically determined. I suggest Cordelia Fine's excellent book "Delusions of Gender: How our Minds, Society and Nuerosexism Create Difference" for a very readable and interesting discussion on this. Send me your email and I'd be glad to explain why "showing" isn't always an option but you're not wrong. Cheers, Nick
Lol 😂 I’m a Femboy, and I have a lot of followers on TikTok and Instagram, many of which are teenage girls who say “why the HECK does this man look better in a dress than me 😠” 😂😂😂 . It’s who I am, and I’m straight and cisgender. Many people love that I’m “unapologetically myself.” . Having said this, I prefer “feminine” women over “tomboys,” HOWEVER! I respect every woman expressing herself as she desires, and will give anybody a chance. It’s just, I kinda want someone who expresses herself similarly to me . But I’m happy people are being more accepting of a breaking from gender roles on any gender
God forbid that I ever comment again on how handsome a TV, or movie star happens to be. I have done that in the past and I received a stern rebuke from my wife.
I might be wierd, but I don't really want to date a guy who doesn't want to be pretty, over masculinity is over rated and honestly I'm tired of it. Although I'm too young to decide on s sexaul label just yet, I think I'm pansexual, and although perfectly OK with being a female, would like to be able to play both of the classic gender roles in whatever relationship, the damsel AND the prince.
Pansexual people are the best. I'm a really feminine trans guy and my last girlfriend (who was pan) never ever made me feel unmasculine but happily celebrated my femininity with joy and support, she just liked every side of my feminine-masculine spectrum. She is so sweet and we're still good friends who talk all the time.
my dad cooks, cleans, takes care of the grandkids when they get sick, and always picked my siblings and i up from school. my mom went to university, works late nights, is generally the family breadwinner, gives the punishments/groundings, and sports a short haircut with (usually) a fairly masculine outfit. however, my mom has always been very sentimental and my dad caring, but stoic. they are comfortable within their roles, not because their roles were what society assigned to them, but because they chose the roles that suit them, individually, the best. they are not strictly masculine or feminine. they are who they are and I love them.
I agree that this is true for a lot of people but not for me, I love the notebook and shoes, "mens" one's granted but I also find little babies cute. So instead of trying to TELL everyone that it's not cool or useful to stick to very precise gender roles, how about being the change and SHOWING them that it is cool and interesting to stray away from them?
Have you ever seen the movie Predestination? The main character (John/Jane) is also intersex. It's a really great movie about a paradox. It has a deep, often confusing plot, but it's legit my favorite movie ever.
We have a family friend with the husband who calls himself a “house husband”, cooking, cleaning, watching the kids, and drinking wine and is proud of it while his wife contentedly fixes the furnace and kills the spiders
I think the problem is really that people don't spend enough time being introspective. Although to some degree stereotypes hold true (men tending toward things, women tending towards social interactions), it isn't always true, and when it is true, there are varying degrees of it. But the weird culture of shaming for not holding to societal norms is something I've never understood. I don't get why people feel the need to govern how other people act. As long as people aren't getting hurt, what is the problem?
I'm a closeted trans man. I kept denying that I was a man because I occasionally like to feel pretty, and because I like the feeling of swishing skirts. I'm still closeted, but my femininity does not challenge my masculinity anymore. Most of the time, I am required to wear drag, and I mostly hate it. I have to interview as a woman, because I have not transitioned, and most employers don't want to hire a tr*nny. But, there are occasions when I want to wear drag. So woe betide anyone who keeps me or any other man from dressing in a flouncy pink dress. I have seen people with luxurious beards absolutely rock dresses. I hope that when I transition, I too can wear a beautiful beard and dress.
My masculine boyfriend and I love shopping together. We pick things out for each other m, help each other decide. We like cool fashion and art. He cooks. He makes beautiful wild flower bouquets. He also chops wood for our fire. Builds buildings on our property, fixes engines, changes my oil, surfs big waves. I’m more likely to defend a stranger and get into a conflict. I’m a writer an intellectual (sometimes hyper logical) as well as a dancer and other stereotypically fem things.
Funny, brave, insightful & speaks about so many elements of perception in how we all define what it is to be a man and woman. Why don't we all just strive to be "hu-man" lol.....Loved it!!
Friends often tell me I'm the man in my relationship, and my boyfriend is the woman. 😂 I like to be big spoon, help him through mood swings, and don't mind sometimes paying for dinner. He is bravely himself. And that is what's manly ❤ 🙂
Great commentary on gender boundaries! Loved the presentation. I'm not entirely sure how these gender roles could be minimized though - what suggestions do you have?
I wish we’d just let people like what they like and do what they do without trying to cram them into boxes for it. The only thing society should judge people for is harming others. That’s it. Otherwise, be free! Be you! The world is better with ALL of the colors.
Speaking as a person who doesn't fit into any of the boxes out there, thank you. Don't know if I'll ever be free, but at least I get to be me, and occasionally find a person who is cool with that. XD
I think that a guy who is doing things that are considered “feminine” out of free will, just cuz he wants to or because he enjoys it, is more respectable and manly. He does what he finds enjoyable and satisfying and he doesn’t give two shits about what people are gonna say. Same with women. If it’s something that you TRULY want to do, if it brings you joy - do it. A girl fixing up a car or doing wrestling? A guy spending hours shopping and taking care of his looks? Whatever! You like it? You go do it!
In just a few decades, many of the bigots, haters, and religious terrorists from the baby boomer generation and the one that followed, will have finally croaked and will have been replaced with forward-thinking, compassionate, loving people. This amazing gender bending momentum will continue its forward advance, and people will be allowed to be themselves at long last. It's going to be a bright future. Thanks Nick Thornton for your contribution.
Have you heard of David Bowie? Have you heard of Annie Lennox? There were more out-there gender-bending prominent figureheads during their time than ours.
I hope you don't count yourself among those compassionate, loving people. Waiting for the last generation to die isn't exactly forward-thinking, either
This is fantastic. Really affirmed my position on gender and its role in society. I think these outdated gender stereotypes are damaging so many lives that we can't afford to ignore their impact. Thanks for the upload!
from what I know, Koreans are a bit more conservative when it comes gender roles. However, what they do better than us in the West, is letting go of strict gender dresscodes. Certainly in the Kpop industry, it is no exception to see a man wear more elegant blouses and accessories and make-up. I think that's really cool
My experience has not been like this since maybe high school. I'm in touch with my femininity and it has never been an issue. And it's also possible a guy simply doesn't enjoy aimless shopping, which is the case for me.
Clearly alot of thought went into this ... so kinda wish I had something more intelligent to say than just... this makes me happy!! : ) Haha. Being a chick in auto and welding course with a bumper sticker awaiting a car project that says "f*** gender roles" ... may have swayed me a little though : P It is pretty cool to see more dudes speaking out on this subject too!! Yay for anyone that helps promote self acceptance!! : D
it does not have to be same or similar characteristics to be woman or man, it simply is if you are a woman and you are attracted to a man then you are female, vice versa.
This guy is very clever, has a way of elucidating truths in a humorous manner that makes them clear.
I always think about this. Men should be able to like things considered by society "feminine" without necessarily being an LGBTQ man. And women should be able to like things considered by society "masculine" without necessarily being an LGBTQ woman. They're just material, they don't have consciousness and thus they don't have a personality. Everyone should have the freedom to like any material equally.
Still, being a masculine trans woman or a feminine trans man is really hard - many other trans men and women kick them down for "giving trans people a bad name".
Thats the politicians trying to rise statistics of new baby's. They use that prejudices in country sides with low education rates
Who told you you don't have freedom?
They do have the freedoms you mentioned... Everyone does what ever they want to nowadays...
They can, most just don't, It's not like those things are illegal, generalizations are based in reality
My bf is better at doing his eyebrows than I am at doing mine. Sometimes he does mine! He is a wonderful father to our child and his step children. I love it that that he always dresses well and looks good. He always looks amazing! We take turns with child care, chores and errands. We fix things together and make the best of what we have.
sounds like a keeper :)
Sounds like Bruce, I mean Caitlyn Jenner
" Step-children"
Bahahaha :'D
Sounds like a nice guy.
Congratulations!
I work in a pub where I get a lot of come-ons from lary so-called "men's men" - I call them totally void of personality clones. One day a guy comes in with his buddies and orders a wine, to a chorus of: "GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY!" He simply looked up and said "Yes, yes I am gay." Now, the guy probably wasn't gay, he was being facetious, and this made me like him so much that I served him first all night.
thats funny because i sure do seem to have no shortage of partners
female partners*
@@janejane1154
Yeah, every alpha female (hot, healthy, pretty face and nice body) I know likes big, strong men.
That's all I've ever experienced, too-- but, obviously if they are going to date me, they also like (crave) what I look like.
I think your example might be an american thing ! In Italy almost everyone drinks wine 😂😂😂
@@janejane1154 s
I am a dude that is so frustrated with these gender roles, I’ve isolated myself, become depressed in the past, questioned my gender, had a literal identity crisis... it’s been insanely hard to be at all comfortable with who I am; and it’s still not easy to feel normal, or happy because of male stereotypes.
Nick Hyde once you do whatever you feel like doing you'll feel so much better. Just don't care what people think and go for it man. Do what you think will make you happy. ❤
Nick Hyde You gotta accept yourself and disregard what people say. I'm a man, I know that but I don't do things that most men do and that's fine. I like my life, I like the way I am, and I'm successful doing what I'm doing. Being an average man has so many limitations. Be proud and happy that you happened to be different and didn't fall into that boring and limiting life.
I feel for you brother. I'm the same.
I've opened up about this - my femininity - to my wife. I'm 39, father of a 9 y.o. It's never too late. Do what feels right for YOU.
Hmmm I know how all of the comments here seem to be reinforcing your idea that gender roles are somehow bad. However, all, and I really do mean all, of the data shows that people who show signs of gender dysphoria suffer from a whole gamut of mental health issues. Gender roles work and those who dont adhere to them do much worse in all areas of life.
I found it so sexy. And I find guys like this guy, Nick, TRULY strong guys, internally strong, not succumbing to stereotypes and disrespecting women ESPECIALLY sexy. And I think a lot of women do.
Oh sure. I haven't been able to find a girlfriend for years.
Kate Girl I know how you feel....BUT one day you will find her and lover her unconditionally, have a cute family with lots of cats!!!
Yas!
Absolutely!
You say you do but you'll go home with Stereotype Chad
I love this so much. This video was made years ago and it's more relevant than ever. It would be more successful too if it was released now
Real men don't "want to be pretty".
None I know and lots of my closest friends are world class athletes.
People can "like" whatever they want. No one is stopping you.
@@lockandloadlikehell Um..you'd be surprised what/who stops an individual from being themselves.
lockandloadlikehell
Your comment contradicts itself.
Real men can’t like feminine stuff but everyone can be feminine.
You’re an example of what this man is talking about.
Society tells him he can’t be a real man if he’s pretty. You prove that point.
We need more men like Nick
LTProductionsInc more humans like him ouo
I could enjoy having a nick for myself, who could also stand me lol
No we really don't... It is perfectly acceptable for people to be themselves in modern society, all this dude is doing is screeching in the wind because some people can me mean...
yes
I like this guy and would love to hear more from him!
a woman in an over-sized flannel shirt fixing my car while I was the dishes in a french maid outfit.... why does that turn me on?
Because you're rad
Isn't that completely normal in Northern Quebec?
because it is hot?
I was the dishes
how did it feel being dishes?
Whenever I'm out for a drink with my boyfriend in a pub and I push myself back form laughing. I like beer, he doesn't, but the waiter or the waitress, regardless the order we made, systematically will hand me his cola and him my beer. OOh, man u.u
federica chiti same thing happens to us
I’m the male and I rarely drink alcohol
Lol
But they always bring me the whiskey and coke
Well probably most of the time that's correct. You can't blame them if you're more the exception from the rule.
Daniel Kö thats why I never assume. I’m a server and if I’m taking drinks to a table where I don’t know who ordered what, I’ll ask. Also, I’m a woman and I quite prefer beer to wine. I also really like bourbon and whiskey.
OMG, life is so unfair, em ay right gurlz ?
@@deez-neuf bruh
"We want rebels we can package, and sell."
No, *you're* perfect. Well done, sir.
A beautiful man with beautiful ideas... 💖
Can I marry this guy? Lol
Strong message and I really liked his unique brand of humor. Loved his analogies and stories. Will be following his work.
19.272 views and it's 2017 now. I hope Nick Thornton will do another Ted Talk about this subject in the future. More people should watch this and recognise that it is truth what he said.
boi, he speaks knowledge man
Rick Astley And he's a seriously sexy Prince Harry look alike.
ok the expression " we want rebels we can package and sell" was pretty interestin
I don't disagree. But despite the points on gender seeming self evident, our culture continues to manufacture art, business and society that does not reflect who we are. Despite it being self evident to you and I, there's a lot of people who have genuinely never though about gender constructions and my hope was that humour would help them feel less attacked and ready to engage with something that, despite your enlightened view, is still a major hurdle for most.
UnboringLearning heyy, 4-years-ago Nick, you are awesome :) what are you up to these days
As a trans and gender non conforming person this talk is my existence. When you don't fit in the neat boxes it scares people, which is both really sad but also really funny. Like is my makeup paired with my tie and muscles really too much? How dare I shave my head AND do ballet!!?? THE HORROR
Non-Binary people are beautiful.
Just know there are only two biological genders okay
intersex people exist Todd Howard
Todd Howard Okay, cool. You can just go back to calling us Queer. I'm down with that.
Meadow Rae You’ll get offended and I’ll get arrested for hate speech.
There's all ridiculous stuff about "Women are attracted to guys with their shirt off and big muscles"
But to be honest? Boys with earrings, or heels, are way more attractive to me
EndrGirl6! There’s a name for women attracted to the feminine. It’s fine, but it’s just your personal preference. Most straight women are attracted to the masculine.
You missing the point here. It's exactly not about this gender bender nonsense, it's the middle ground. You can be a masculine man without enjoying beer and football and be a feminine woman without drinking wine and enjoying shopping. These miner differences are just silly to over judge, like we do in society.
My sister gets visibly uncomfortable when she sees a shirtless man and I don't care about shirtless men
I like men with both muscles and a nice dress
Fun fact! Heels were originally worn by men
"you don't need to develop a dynamic and interesting personality, here's a man cave!"-oh geez, I lost it. have you considered a career in comedy?
He is a very engaging speaker
This talk happened 7 years ago & it's more relevant now than ever.
Perfectly delivered!
I'm a girl and I dig big swords and embroidery, and I refuse to be ruled by my ovaries. Preach brother.
Oh I think just I saw my twin flame. Kudos to you! And thank you for putting yourself out there. And for putting into words so much of what I have been thinking and feeling for years.
Is it ironic that this guy is really pretty? Who wouldn't say yes to him?
Let's have a throwback to the old times when man would all gladly wear clothing with intricate floral embroidery please
and heels!
I mean, Hawaiian shirts are a staple among dad's
Or, you know, we just let everyone wear whatever *they* want, and don't push for any kind of specific fashion to please *your* eyes.
@@drsnova7313 dude chill, it was a suggestion, not an order. i just like floral designs.
One of the best talks I've watched!
Longhaired (goth/metal) transguy watching this while knitting a scarf ^-^
It's honestly fun to break these norms, and as a bonus I'll have a super cozy scarf next winter ^-^
He looks like Thor after he got his hair cut
I clicked the video thinking that this guy is Chris Hemsworth !! Anyway. He spoke good things.
@Clayton Shearer What does that even mean??
Clayton Shearer everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, I don’t happen to agree. But that’s my opinion.
@Clayton Shearer oooooh, name calling. Also lets forget Thor is a fictional character.
@Clayton Shearer Do you have historical and archeological proof he existed?
"The five inch heels if he doesn't know what he's doing"
😂
I did not know who this gorgeous man was before researching; he has given the best “ TED” lecture of all those that I have viewed so far!
This is beautiful and so very true. What a confident and strong man Nick is. This is the beauty that comes from inner growth and healing.
We become free to just be.
And a guy that adores me I can't even get serious with, because he doesn't show me ANY emotions, any vulnerabilities, anything at all except surface talk.
This is so important. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT.
It's all well and good and a step in the right direction, but I wish he had gone into the harmful aspects that gender roles place on out society. Men are 3:1 times more likely to commit suicide than women, which is no shocker when you realize that from a young age boys are taught that they have to be masculine, tall, muscled and aren't allowed to cry or show emotion, because "only girls cry". Suppressing your emotions builds up, especially if you have a mental disorder like depression. They're taught that only "masculine" emotions are allowed to be expressed, that they have to be angry or aggressive. And it's harmful to everyone. If men are taught that being "feminine" is weak or shameful, then women are automatically painted as weak and lesser. Think about it. If a boy is called a "pussy" it's this terrible awful thing. A woman's genitals. However if you're called a "dick" it's less of an insult. Because at least THEN you're MALE genitals. I dunno, I'm going off on a tangent. Point is; feminism.
And don't you think that opposite factor might be at work as well. That radicalfeminism has created atmosphere where masculine traits are somehow shameful and are supressed? Think elementary schools where traits exhibited typically by boys are punished and berated while traits more typical for girls are rewarded. Add to the stew fact that a lot of boys lack male figures when growing up who would teach them how to handle being man. For example very natural testosterone-fueled agressive traits almost every boy/man will feel in his life at some points need to be managed and released in socially acceptable manner. I am sorry but I think it might be very hard for female parent and/or educator to truly understand and relate...
In part I agree with you. Culture of toxic masculinity and machism is definitely harmful. (Interestingly enough it is fairly modern western invention. In a lot of "primitive" cultures men were able to hunt and fight and so on but at the same time had no shame when crying about death of loved one and so on..) But so is Looking at masculinity through our fingers and not letting boys just be boys.
I dont think it is gender roles that makes men act like that. When you have more testosterone you are more likely to be violent, etc especially women are actually more suicidal its just that men are more successful. Women would most likely kill themselves passively like by taking pills while men would do something more like shoot themselves.
Lydi@ I blame women.
@@user-zu1ix3yq2w dude don't blame women in fact don't blame anybody. Instead take steps to reduce this, however small it maybe.
@@Galaxy-gx9fp lol, white knight. good luck on your quest.
in response to this second part, no one's debating biology here. Gender and sex are two different things and much of what we deem "thinking different" is culturally based, not biologically determined. I suggest Cordelia Fine's excellent book "Delusions of Gender: How our Minds, Society and Nuerosexism Create Difference" for a very readable and interesting discussion on this. Send me your email and I'd be glad to explain why "showing" isn't always an option but you're not wrong.
Cheers,
Nick
This is honestly so entartaining but also informative
wow. impressed by the content and delivery xD excellent speech and thoughts
such a good ted talk I love my gurly self so much!!!
I think I would find flannel shirt and oil stains on the girls extremely attractive, just saying...
It was called the 90s.
Lol 😂 I’m a Femboy, and I have a lot of followers on TikTok and Instagram, many of which are teenage girls who say “why the HECK does this man look better in a dress than me 😠” 😂😂😂
.
It’s who I am, and I’m straight and cisgender. Many people love that I’m “unapologetically myself.”
.
Having said this, I prefer “feminine” women over “tomboys,” HOWEVER! I respect every woman expressing herself as she desires, and will give anybody a chance. It’s just, I kinda want someone who expresses herself similarly to me
.
But I’m happy people are being more accepting of a breaking from gender roles on any gender
One of my favorite ted talks.
God forbid that I ever comment again on how handsome a TV, or movie star happens to be. I have done that in the past and I received a stern rebuke from my wife.
Pretty men and handsome women for the win!
Nick, you could have a career in comedy-you're very insightful, funny, and not arrogant! Keep up the great insights about us humans.
This speech was delivered amazingly.
I might be wierd, but I don't really want to date a guy who doesn't want to be pretty, over masculinity is over rated and honestly I'm tired of it. Although I'm too young to decide on s sexaul label just yet, I think I'm pansexual, and although perfectly OK with being a female, would like to be able to play both of the classic gender roles in whatever relationship, the damsel AND the prince.
I feel the exact same! Awesome :>
Pansexual people are the best. I'm a really feminine trans guy and my last girlfriend (who was pan) never ever made me feel unmasculine but happily celebrated my femininity with joy and support, she just liked every side of my feminine-masculine spectrum. She is so sweet and we're still good friends who talk all the time.
my dad cooks, cleans, takes care of the grandkids when they get sick, and always picked my siblings and i up from school. my mom went to university, works late nights, is generally the family breadwinner, gives the punishments/groundings, and sports a short haircut with (usually) a fairly masculine outfit. however, my mom has always been very sentimental and my dad caring, but stoic. they are comfortable within their roles, not because their roles were what society assigned to them, but because they chose the roles that suit them, individually, the best. they are not strictly masculine or feminine. they are who they are and I love them.
I agree that this is true for a lot of people but not for me, I love the notebook and shoes, "mens" one's granted but I also find little babies cute. So instead of trying to TELL everyone that it's not cool or useful to stick to very precise gender roles, how about being the change and SHOWING them that it is cool and interesting to stray away from them?
i had to stop this at the truck joke... the martians could hear me laughing like a madman and falling off my bed
The idea of being so neutral of gender will allow us to focus on more important things . Like ideas and poetry that no one else had though before.
Yeah
Poetry is do important lmao
Gender roles are natural
Going against it is going against nature
This is exactly what feminism is about...busting those gender roles. Nothing hotter than a guy wearing eyeliner. Love this!
One name :- magnus bane
I'm lucky I was born with one testis and one ovary, so I don't need to pretend
wait how does that work? if you dont mind me asking
Tf
Have you ever seen the movie Predestination? The main character (John/Jane) is also intersex. It's a really great movie about a paradox. It has a deep, often confusing plot, but it's legit my favorite movie ever.
Jennafer Huffstetler I'll definitely check it out!!
Hannah mich honey I wish,
The future I'm ready for.
We have a family friend with the husband who calls himself a “house husband”, cooking, cleaning, watching the kids, and drinking wine and is proud of it while his wife contentedly fixes the furnace and kills the spiders
I think the problem is really that people don't spend enough time being introspective. Although to some degree stereotypes hold true (men tending toward things, women tending towards social interactions), it isn't always true, and when it is true, there are varying degrees of it. But the weird culture of shaming for not holding to societal norms is something I've never understood. I don't get why people feel the need to govern how other people act. As long as people aren't getting hurt, what is the problem?
One and a half minutes in and I'm loving this already.
So true!!! Great speaker, proves how disarming humour can be!!
need people like this person
I'm a closeted trans man. I kept denying that I was a man because I occasionally like to feel pretty, and because I like the feeling of swishing skirts.
I'm still closeted, but my femininity does not challenge my masculinity anymore.
Most of the time, I am required to wear drag, and I mostly hate it. I have to interview as a woman, because I have not transitioned, and most employers don't want to hire a tr*nny.
But, there are occasions when I want to wear drag. So woe betide anyone who keeps me or any other man from dressing in a flouncy pink dress. I have seen people with luxurious beards absolutely rock dresses.
I hope that when I transition, I too can wear a beautiful beard and dress.
Sorry to respond so late....but...I really love the beard!
Love this speech ❤
this is only the vestibule , open the door to the house , AND SET IT ON FIRE ! BRAVO BRAVO
Imagine if a woman gave this speech. All those "alpha rational males" would be going nuts in the comment section whining about SJWs.
Lol my boyfriend and I have matching nail polish. Are there really people who police each other that much?
My masculine boyfriend and I love shopping together. We pick things out for each other m, help each other decide. We like cool fashion and art. He cooks. He makes beautiful wild flower bouquets. He also chops wood for our fire. Builds buildings on our property, fixes engines, changes my oil, surfs big waves. I’m more likely to defend a stranger and get into a conflict. I’m a writer an intellectual (sometimes hyper logical) as well as a dancer and other stereotypically fem things.
Great talk. More people need to hear this.
this guys amazing and this ted talk is so underrated
Funny, brave, insightful & speaks about so many elements of perception in how we all define what it is to be a man and woman. Why don't we all just strive to be "hu-man" lol.....Loved it!!
Friends often tell me I'm the man in my relationship, and my boyfriend is the woman. 😂 I like to be big spoon, help him through mood swings, and don't mind sometimes paying for dinner. He is bravely himself. And that is what's manly ❤ 🙂
Everything he says sums it up perfectly.
Very well spoken!
Fixing my car while wearing my flannels? I would be scared. I don't want oil on my flannels :)
Just be yourself. Do what you want to do (as long as it's not illegal). Wear what you want to wear.
I'm soooo glad my fiance and I are both queer. Even still, my poor partner still questions whether he is "man enough." It's sad.
Great commentary on gender boundaries! Loved the presentation. I'm not entirely sure how these gender roles could be minimized though - what suggestions do you have?
OMG how we have changed. Loving the future we are creating right now.
Look at this awesome human!
Well..... I REALLY do hate shopping but..... Alot of this is true
He has the most beautiful hair...I wonder what he would look like if he grew it down to his shoulders?
Best TED talk ever
I wish we’d just let people like what they like and do what they do without trying to cram them into boxes for it. The only thing society should judge people for is harming others. That’s it. Otherwise, be free! Be you! The world is better with ALL of the colors.
Speaking as a person who doesn't fit into any of the boxes out there, thank you. Don't know if I'll ever be free, but at least I get to be me, and occasionally find a person who is cool with that. XD
Man spittin facts at 12:05 "We want rebels that we can package and sell, not rebels that would make us question ourselves"
I’m attracted to him. But I also really like pink pens 🤷🏻♀️
I think that a guy who is doing things that are considered “feminine” out of free will, just cuz he wants to or because he enjoys it, is more respectable and manly. He does what he finds enjoyable and satisfying and he doesn’t give two shits about what people are gonna say. Same with women. If it’s something that you TRULY want to do, if it brings you joy - do it. A girl fixing up a car or doing wrestling? A guy spending hours shopping and taking care of his looks? Whatever! You like it? You go do it!
I like him, he speaks my mind
Hilarious & Relevant
In just a few decades, many of the bigots, haters, and religious terrorists from the baby boomer generation and the one that followed, will have finally croaked and will have been replaced with forward-thinking, compassionate, loving people. This amazing gender bending momentum will continue its forward advance, and people will be allowed to be themselves at long last. It's going to be a bright future. Thanks Nick Thornton for your contribution.
K. Alan Ball you are 100000% I can’t wait until those assholes die so our country will finally be great!!!
Have you heard of David Bowie? Have you heard of Annie Lennox? There were more out-there gender-bending prominent figureheads during their time than ours.
Yeah, but they had their own kids before they die, which they've indoctrinated with their bigotry and so the cycle continues...
???? I mean, I'm generation z but that's truly terrible. (You might be being sarcastic but still)
I hope you don't count yourself among those compassionate, loving people. Waiting for the last generation to die isn't exactly forward-thinking, either
Awesome. This is awesome. You are awesome.
Really appreciate this talk, thanks Nick!
This man is brilliant.
This is fantastic. Really affirmed my position on gender and its role in society. I think these outdated gender stereotypes are damaging so many lives that we can't afford to ignore their impact. Thanks for the upload!
from what I know, Koreans are a bit more conservative when it comes gender roles. However, what they do better than us in the West, is letting go of strict gender dresscodes. Certainly in the Kpop industry, it is no exception to see a man wear more elegant blouses and accessories and make-up. I think that's really cool
My experience has not been like this since maybe high school. I'm in touch with my femininity and it has never been an issue. And it's also possible a guy simply doesn't enjoy aimless shopping, which is the case for me.
Clearly alot of thought went into this ... so kinda wish I had something more intelligent to say than just... this makes me happy!! : ) Haha. Being a chick in auto and welding course with a bumper sticker awaiting a car project that says "f*** gender roles" ... may have swayed me a little though : P It is pretty cool to see more dudes speaking out on this subject too!! Yay for anyone that helps promote self acceptance!! : D
there's something called balance
it does not have to be same or similar characteristics to be woman or man, it simply is if you are a woman and you are attracted to a man then you are female, vice versa.
Every man at one xmas or another will receive an electric drill. The fact is 96% of these will be used by their owners for just 7 MINUTES.
I do want to be pretty
LOOK
IT’S IMPORTANT
IT’S IN MY SHOPPING BASKET