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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ก.ค. 2024
- Are you mistaking a fantasy bond for real love?
A “fantasy bond” describes an illusion of connection between two people that is substituted for feelings of real love and intimacy.
In today's video, we will talk about what a fantasy bond looks like, its impact on mental health, and how to distinguish it from genuine love.
Whether you're single, have a secret crush, just broken up, navigating dating or long-term relationships, understanding the nature of the fantasy bond can shed light on common relationship dynamics. Watch to learn the key signs that might indicate you're in a fantasy bond rather than experiencing authentic love.
#mentalhealth #love #relationship #psychology
Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Editor: Kelly Soong
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Julie Ma
TH-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
Question for everyone, how is everyone liking the topics lately? Is there a topic you wish us to cover on? Let us know below!
I'd like you to cover more on verbal abuse and how it'll affect you in adulthood since verbal abuse can cause stuff like depression, anger issues, and anxiety
Im an INFJ, but still suspicious if i am an INFP. Could you make a test for it please?
Anger Issue :D
Personally I’ve loved all the videos I’ve seen you guys posting lately. Love this channel :3
I'm enjoying there being less sexual related topics
1:01 you fall inlove with potential, not people
1:43 you ignore red flags
2:24 you use them to escape reality
3:45 there's no emotional intimacy
4:30 theres no sacrifice or compromise
5:00 you've lost yourself in love
5:27 a superficial relationship
5:52 you feel an empty happiness
3:02 you avoid conflict
Empty happiness is one I feel to much, not that I'm in any relationships though 🫤
Thank you 💙
Thank you!!😊
Thank you 😊
It feels wrong to watch myself being called out in a video.
FRRR
Same 😭😭
Trust that I've been watching psych2go since middle school. You must trust you'll get used to the pain of reality. Lol
Same…
Right 😭
This is actually perfect for me rn because I’ve been being confused on my feelings for a few years.
Glad we released at the right time! If there's another you'd like us to cover more on, do let us know! :)
I love this female’s voice
Thanks so much J1!
same.
Same makes me more comfortable
Sameee!
That's fantasy not love 😅
Honestly I think that sometimes being too dreamy and dreaming a lot about crushes isn't actually a bad thing. As long as you know that it's just a fantasy and could not be exactly true. Because the feeling is still extremely positive and sweet. For a lot of people it really helps them cope with the hardships of life and actually feel a lot of happiness. So I'd say it's actually a good thing! 😊🥰💕
I just dream about MONEY and my HOBBIES . . . Totally HAPPINESS
Yes, everything in moderation.
I thought it was genuine love because we never got into any conflicts or arguments. But when i saw that avoiding conflict was one of the signs, it hit me. While he’s sweet and all, there were many times where his attitude was.. concerning, to say the least. I dont think he did it deliberately, but ive shed tears because of the things he has said and done. But i never mentioned it because i thought it would be healthier to avoid it, rather than stirring up, what i thought, were “unnecessary” disputes. I've also started letting go of my hobbies, because now all i do is text and talk to him. I guess there’s a chance this was all a fantasy bond after all. Thank you for this, Psych2Go
That last part got me.
Self centred narcissist.
have a look into attachment theory. It deals with the things youre speaking about
This actually educates me since I've never known what a fantasy bond is, so this really gets me to truly know that I'm not in a fantasy bond. If you want to ask somebody out, go right ahead and have the confidence!
Crazy how this has been happening for the last few days and this pops up as soon as I wonder why I'm doing this so much
I genuinely hate how much reality this video shattered for me.
Well, now you can begin learning how to form real, meaningful bonds and eventually experience real love.
@@elvinfp peachy.
What the point in doing anything though
Knowing everything I do for her has been a facade
Some of my best changes came from the idea of eventually changing enough to where I'd be with her
Knowing this is all a ruse, now what.
There's no point in taking care of my body.
No point in running for class president.
No point in going out for sports.
What am I supposed to do without any motivation?
You know I've always felt this type of way but never had the words. It felt like I was so in love that when I was alone I would be so confused on why the happiness I felt never felt as deep as it seemed.. I always wondered why I felt better when I was by myself feeling that empty happiness but never knowing why and realizing now part of it is my fantasy of what our relationship could be and only seeing the potential of the person and not the person themselves.. gives me a lot to think about but more clarity. It hurts but I'm thankful. It's hard to say where to go from here but it's nice to know an explanation
Well, the idea of love is all I've ever really had, so I guess a fantasy bond would be a step up for me. It's funny... I've learned so many things about keeping a relationship together. If only I knew how to start one.
I have no idea why i got automatic japanese subtitles, but i am loving it
I just got out of a relationship, realizing that the connection between us wasn't love. This video was something that I needed to see since I was afraid that I did the wrong thing by breaking up even after he begged me not to.Ngl I was blaming myself thinking that I was acting selfish and immature until I saw this vid.Thanks ❤
People don’t like being and vibing alone because for a very long time being alone = is viewed as a something negative and being with someone = something positive or seeing as a happiness.
But strategically, and demographically, for centuries, men and women were encouraged to live together simply to have children, that is to say to put more people in this world ! It took centuries after some people began to see that happiness depends on each person !
Even nowadays, the mentality of some people in society does not yet change on this subject and thinks that living alone is depressing or negative, etc because there mentality and the perception of each person are different !
There will never have videos that will encourage people to live and vibing alone in an advertisement for example and seeing as happiness.
I’m starting to see little by little in TH-cam videos but it’s very rare ! Most videos is how to be with someone, or like this video fantasy bond, or you have to breakup with your bf, blah blah blah . . . How much you see people very desperate, lunatic, delusional from nonsense thing . . . And think that living alone and vibing alone are the same as loneliness . . . (Which is completely different) The reason why they search some people or feelings to complete inside them . . .
what if your fantasy together is your goal? making it better, efficient, satisfying...What if you and another person have a place that is just for the two of you that you can nourish like a garden?
A fantasy bond is an ideal vision of the relationship you both must work hard for... it's the same as people who believe in a utopia, and people who are inspired by utopian ideas to makes something less than perfect but still amazing.
The amount of eye opening to see a video describe your life is crazy.
This actually helped me understand the reason why my last relationship ending really didn’t affect me that much and honestly I feel like the majority of these things were happening throughout both sides of the relationship
As a BPD person, this is so difficult to notice. Thanks for this vid, it helps a lot ❤
Oh wow, I didn't expect to find this video as relatable as I did...however, I was absolutely led astray by those ex's because they lied constantly! I did learn to stop ignoring red flags, though....eventually
I clicked this video immediately after getting the notification, because I feel like I have this type of bond with a girl I have a crush on. Even spoke about this (indirectly) with one of my friends from band. I'm starting to reconsider ever getting her phone number (which I got before my junior year ended) and I may just be wasting my time...I may need to look at this video again and see what signs apply to me...
Take your time and watch it again. You may want to write down the "pro's & con's" of your relationship. 😊
Wow this could not have been timed better, i just got out of a 6year narcissistic abusive relationship and these videos during this tough breakup is showing me so much. How little i know. Thankyou for making these videos. I feel more educated and somewhat safe talking more to people with this information
Another day another Psych2Go video. This is the life.
Thanks for being here! How do you like this topic so far?
@@Psych2goIve always loved your videos that covered the topics of love and so far I like the video. Keep up the great work! :3
Timestamps
1). You fall in love with potential not people 1:00
2). You ignore red flags 1:42
3). To use them to escape reality 2:22
4). You avoid conflict at all costs 3:01
5). There's no emotional intimacy 3:44
6). There's no sacrifice or compromise 4:29
7). You're lost yourself in love 5:00
8). A superficial relationship 5:26
9). You feel an empty happiness 5:51
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
These are so helpful, thank you ❤
The voice is so comforting 😭🩷
This is Amanda Silvera 😊
This was in my suggestions, & I’m so glad it was. I really needed this.
I LOVE THIS VIDEO SO MUCH!
these videos become more for me every time you guys post
Why is ur voice so calming and beautiful😭
This honestly helped so much, just knowing how I became so attached and confused on why I fell so hard for my ex, because getting over her has been hard but at least I can see clearly now and this video really made me open my eyes.
This video made me realize that most of my past relationships have been nothing but fantasy bonds. All I wanted from the person was love, but I never saw deeper into them until it was too late. This video was very helpful to me.
This has open my eyes a little on my relationship. Thank you for this.
I've been following you for a few years and i feel your videos always come to me at the right time
Thanks for interesting and valuable video as always ❤❤❤
Been in a “relationship” like this for 10 years, and it was definitely unrequited. Learned my lesson!
Very good topic. ❤
Love the style of this video💕 cute visuals really help😊
I was in a fantasy bond for a while and eventually me and that person talked things through:) I this helps me understand what was going on at that moment:) thank you very much for your supportive videos
Very helpful!
Thanks for the information, I’ll keep that in mind, so I can let this knowledge help others
Very helpful thank you 🙏🏽❤
I've been in fantasy bond since. . .probably before I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia because I've been delusional of having a relationship with some handsome male celebrities I've seen on TV or TH-cam. But after I learned about mindfulness and self love, I realized that those kind of bond is toxic and it's a fantasy bond after I watch this video. 😩 I think I need to learn how to control my delusions with the help of my routine medication that I've got from my psychiatrist. 🤧 It's hard to not thinking and feeling a fantasy bond for me, but I gotta try after I watch this video 😔
Stop being so insufferably superficial and shallow.
@@MichaelF-cc8ri You think? Well, I gotta say. I can't do that instantly. It needs process, and it's gonna take a long time. Got it? 😊
Love the video!
Thank you!!
Thank you very much. I have not come across fantasy bond idea but it describes very well what I have experienced in my life - admiration of somebody without physical attraction but idealising the person and getting everything done for them.
This described my exact experience. I’m definitely over it. Thank you for putting this into words to help me describe this particular situation and giving it a name.
Geee, I identified a lot with this video. Thank you so much!!
Omg your videos actually helped me
Your voice is so calming 😖💓
Thanks for your love!
I don't think I was ready for this one 😭😭
real.
My approach to love might be romantic/fantasizing in theory but practical and patient in practice, like close caring relationships are beautiful but you gotta give it all your nurturing and dedication to sustain them instead of using the other person as a fantasy.
Your voice is soooo relaxing and you're videos are super good love you 💝
This means a lot! Thank you!
grate video ❤ thanks!!😊
This video was really helpful, I've always wondered about my feelings with my partner, and i might think we had a fantasy bond. and it honestly makes much more sense that i expected and explains so much
Been confused and feeling conflicted for years, this really explains a lot and helps me understand more. Thanks Psych2Go ❤Your videos are always great at helping me put words to my feelings
Interesting video ❤
I feel like you made this for me! I am working on not being in a fantasy relationship. It's hard but I will make it!
I think I had this kind of bound in my last relationship but I never realised it was a real thing. I was so blinded.. now I know better, thank you. ❤
Fantasy is VERY needed for a single person (especially that there is no family and persons to rely on). Without it many people could even commit suicide.
Very true, it's a strong, self made drug, it's like fear, it protects you in many cases.
i love the art in this thumbnail and the art i’m gonna explode
Amazing video
this being posted right after the last video was like a shot through the heart
I think my ex and I had a fantasy bond. I think she loved her idea of me, not the real me, then the instant I fell off the pedestal she set me on, she took it as total betrayal.
Me this time last year. He left me and mum died and it was my birthday and I was vulnerable and had no income of my own. I was caught up in the fantasy of him and been a cougar and I forgot about me and my happiness. This year I'm with a man nearer to my age and it's as real as it can be and yes messy and imperfect but nice and amazing . We both have trauma from our pasts but he's amazing . He's fun to be with also . I'm 56 and never thought I would find anyone like him. He messages me daily to reassure me as he knows I've got trauma from insecure bad past exes like the one I've mentioned and he understands me more than any man I've known. Only one other like him I used to know yrs ago. Men like this are rare and I know.
I definitely needed this. I've been traped in a fantacy for a few months now and I need to realize it has to end and move on from it.
I think using sacrifice and compromise interchangeably isn't the best way to look at it. Compromise denotes a mutually beneficial agreement where sacrifice is one sided. I would never sacrifice anything completely, but find a compromise that allows both our needs and wants to be met. Perhaps not the exact way we envisioned, but still meeting our needs.
Keep in mind that if you know you can't fully commit to something that's critically important to your partner, it's better to just end things before they start. Always start out what might be a relationship as a close friendship, get to know each other really well before anything serious starts. Make sure you and whoever your partner may be can find a healthy and honest compromise, and if not then just stay friends.
I've seen polyamorous (or however you spell that) people who claimed to genuinely love someone who wasn't polyamorous, say that they would stop being polyamorous for that person alone, and pledge loyalty to them alone because they "truly love them". But obviously, every single time in those scenarios, the polyamorous person ends up cheating on their non-polyamorous partner instead of just breaking up with them, most of the time they don't let them know either because they don't want that relationship to end. If that doesn't make sense, forgive me, it's just what I've personally seen 100% of the time, I've yet to see a different outcome. I know that isn't the best example, but it's the most common one I've seen.
Also youtube is probably going to remove my comment because it's "hateful" (It's not, it's a cautionary tale based on real life experience. And I have nothing against anyone's opinions, beliefs, etc.)
Omg...THANK GOD IM NOT DREAMING. I didn't even realized I have that. I'm glad I found this vid
Thank you for this video because I don't know what was happening in my relationship and if it was not real
From the last video, I kept heartbroken, not because it's not true, but it's true. I always into someone who I be delulu, limerence like a celeb I meet and know in X. Reason why I believe, is one of a friend who also a fan, had meet and married one of the members. So I keep hoping if it become real to me too or not. I know, I'm hopeless
Psych2go thank you for always being here whenever I had doubt about relationship and everything your knowledgeble videos are always come to educates me and informe me about various things that I can't even know before that's help a lot for me for everyone ❤❤ and your voice always my favourite girl I wish you happiness 😊
Yes sadly it is my greatest flaw, that I desperately need to fix
This video randomly showed up on my notification and I feel attacked. is this a sign?! 😭
Your animations are really cute.
I cherish them. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
This is a lot to think about
This video made me self reflect on my own reelationship
Thank you, im in a fantasy bond. Hes still not single tho. I can wait years for him.
Jeez. This is crazy...
And so true.
1:02-- You fall in love with potential,......
1:43--- You ignore red flags
2:25-- You use them to escape reality
3:02-- You avoid conflict
3:45-- there is no emotional intimacy
4:30-- There is no sacrifice or compromise
5:00-- You have lost yourself in love
5:30-- A superficial relationship
5:54-- You feel an EMPTY happiness
0:50 wow it’s crazy to think I,m no y alone no matter how horrible it seems well I fall on love with people I hate most of the time and also imagine that he would try to notice me but he can’t for whatever reason
You never know how anything is going to turn out! That's what makes things exciting, but also extremely challenging and frightening! Life is quite a 🎢🛼 roller coaster ride, and our destinations are not known to us! Let's hope for a happy ending, and try to be compassionate and empathetic individuals in the meantime! Have a good one!
I don't even watch these because I need them, they're just interesting.
I don't believe in fantasy. I believe in humanity and the way love can exist.
After watching this, I'd say to fall usually into fantasy love rather than real love :(
Some fantasy sure is good and helpful but most failed scenarios really was me daydreaming too much, given what you've said in this video which I too can now see being put well into words.
I literally had the best day with my crush today, and this comes..
Oh, I understand something now
From personal experience, it does make you feel emptier inside, bc you have no real connection, you can only miss the surface level things, and the only meaning they give you is physical and visual comfort. Tbh you become disillusioned to who they are, and have an idea of them more than understanding them as a whole.
Considering that I might be slightly neurodivergent--this means that all of my past relationships were just fantasy bonds formed from trauma/trying to fill a void/formed for the wrong reasons. It doesn't help that school & church didn't make it less confusing--even therapy was a disaster. Thank you P2G.
wow. this is exactly what im going through. i have been a hopeless romantic for a long time but ive stopped and now im in a relationship but i am just confused. I related to some of the things in this video for example me trying to mold my partner into what i want them to be at the same time we sacrifice for eachother its like all of them mixed together. I think since its quite early i should give it a little bit and try to be more open and vulnerable about my feelings to them ?
One question: can fantasy bond sometimes be paired with a clumsy attempt of creating a true bond with the same person?
Honestly this video mostly felt like me and my ex... After awhile I ended up getting tired of it and left.. Now I stay single for myself..
Huh, I was worried I could be having a fantasy bond given how much I idealize my partner (I should change that probably), and how clingy I am with them.
But, seeing this, I think our relationship is pretty healthy. I am even more in love with them now.
Yes thank you
The first sign I saw was that the captions that showed for this video when I began watching it were in Japanese, lol
Otherwise, great and helpful advice! ^-^
Having to have to choose between the two, and it’s either your family, friends, and loved ones, or all natural being left in a disabling condition’s. Well I kind of guess just because I can medicate for my symptoms doesn’t mean I still don’t have a disability, or my conditions are cured. It just means I’m able to treat, and manage certain symptoms with a better quality of life. Care is definitely something that has been a bit too difficult to have access to, especially when it comes to therapy of something besides ABA, or someone trying to sabotage the the results of things due to it’s not the other persons preferred treatment, and medications when the professionals don’t even speak to me about a care, or treatment plan. Not much of it makes any sense to me in the slightest. Thanks for some insight, and some of the information has been a bit helpful on things.
This video is so relatable that it made me scared 😂😂😂😂
Damn, just yesterday, o was going to confess but then BAM, this video pops up..
I ACTUALLY HAD DOUBTS ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP YESTERDAY OMFG
I've had this with one girl where even when we agreed to be platonic we were doing things that I never experienced with a girl and my head interpreted it as a relationship and she cut it off because it became a codependency. Now I'm into a girl who also doesn't like me back and we get along really well as friends and have shared a lot of deep personal connections in both directions (though I feel like I push too hard for it), but she just doesn't feel the same way romantically and partially because of her past. I deeply crave deep emotional connections but even when I think I've formed one it doesn't seem to be returned and I wonder if it was ever love or just a crush. I'm trying to unlike her now to be the platonic friend she needs now, but it's honestly really difficult to let go when this kind of relationship is almost impossible to come by. It doesn't fit the "fantasy bond" described here, but nevertheless I keep being told it's not real and will never be reciprocated. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong if I have all the emotional connection and everything else they say you need to have for a romantic relationship...
My 15 year old has a question how to not let your negative thought sneak up in your mind and how to not let your negative thoughts come true.
not psych to go making me question my daily life with each upload for the past month 🙃
I'm in love with the woman behind this voice 😂❤