12:26 Yes he is faking it dude. I've been playing guitar for 39 years, Seagal doesn't even know how to hold the guitar properly. I saw him play live and honestly he is the equivalent of a child learning to walk on guitar. He once said he was a Blues man because he plays with his fingers and doesn't use a pick. But first it's because it's hard to learn how to use a pick and he doesn't even play with his fingers he just brushes the strings with his thumb which is actually nothing, basically among musicians he doesn't know how to play.
That should be the name of his next movie. Hell, it fits perfectly with his little movie name convention too(supposedly his movie titles all need to describe HIM, so that the title can be read as "Steven Seagal is Attrition", "Steven Seagal is Above the Law", "Steven Seagal is Out for Blood", "Steven Seagal is A Good Man", "Steven Seagal is The China Salesman", "Steven Seagal is Falling apart")
@@nignamedmutt7270 Nah. It should be a kind of Hallmark X-mas schlock, with a half-arsed action movie plot lazily tagged on to make up the minutes. Called "Snatch Every Mother Fuckin' Boxing Day"
Segal's friend in this movie (guy with axes) is actually one of the few modern day actors in china that actually studied Kung Fu before getting into acting. Just a little trivia.
I'm a glutton for punishment, I can't get enough of these segal movies. They're so bad they're good. You're doing us all a great service suffering through them for our enjoyment, it does not go unappreciated. Also it's awesome seeing how quickly your channel is growing! All the best from OR!
The old guy at 8:05 who played their master, is actually an absolute Hong Kong legend. His name is Mei Sheng Fan and he played in a lot of Jackie Chan’s movies and other Kung Fu flicks from the 70’s and 80’s. Keep up the good work Red Eye, always looking forward for new reviews. Cheers 👌🤘👍
Binge-watched this series in less than 1 week. Watched all the Seagal movies without going through the enormous hurdle that is having to actually watch them. Thanks, RedEye!
4:26 this scene was hilarious. The feeble fall-down while the guy holds his chest like he’s having a heart attack; then of course Seagal needs to sit down after lightly waving his arms around for 5 seconds. This is perfection!
"The war.....must be fought....from within." Well, the entire world war must be happening within your belly judging from the size of it, Stephen. Good job.
New subscriber here. As someone who grew up watching these awful Seagal movies on HBO back in the 90s I really appreciate you picking them apart so brutally one by one. You deserve way more views & subscribers.
Not gonna lie, the production value of this movie actually seem way higher than the usual Seagal B-movies over the last two decades, he must be getting more funding for movies outside of the US. Glad to see his genius is being spread around the world.
The speech that Seagal gives to the old kung fu masters at the end is actually kind of epic. If it were done by Donnie Yen or Chow Yun Fat it would have more gravitas, but because it's Seagal, his incredible ego just makes it that much more insanely epic!
The fact that he's talking all like he's Ip Man with all these wise sayings and stuff yet he flushes it all down the toilet at the end when he's armed to the teeth.
The entire storyline made me laugh. He's special forces turned Ip man. He goes to a random village to become like the village protector who goes around and beats people up like a 2nd grader. Then at the end, he flushes all he's been saying right down the toilet by going crazy shooting everyone.
Prior “special forces,” check. Living abroad now, check. Weird accents and a bullshit storyline, check. Steven being Steven in every movie, check. Yep it’s a Seagal movie 😂🤣😂🤣😂
It's such a shame that so many cool shots were wasted on this movie, I really liked the style. I'm bingeing your Seagull series again, it's what got me subbed to your channel almost two years ago, how time flies. Now I hear from time to time in my head your Seagal voice and I love it, thank you for existing my man!
6:50 about that disease: People who have an extreme sensitivity to sunlight are born with a rare disease known as xeroderma pigmentosum (XP). They must take extreme measures to protect their skin from ultraviolet (UV) light. Anything that emits UV light, including the sun and some lightbulbs, can damage their skin. People who have XP need this extreme protection because their bodies cannot protect them from UV light. This happens because they inherit genes that prevent their bodies from repairing damage caused by UV light. Because the body cannot protect itself from UV light, a person’s risk of getting skin cancer skyrockets. It’s estimated that XP can raise the risk of getting skin cancer 10,000-fold. Most children who have XP develop skin cancer before reaching 10 years of age. At an even younger age, these children can have pre-cancerous growths on their skin. Skin cancers and pre-cancerous growths develop because it takes time to diagnose XP. You cannot look at a newborn and tell that the child has XP. People who have XP may also develop eye problems. Sunlight can cause cancers to form on their eyes or eyelids. Cataracts and other eye problems may also arise.
Do they easily burn in the sun as well? It sounds a lot like the toxin from giant hogweed that basically makes your skin blister after like 5 min in the sun.
Seagal wearing that hat and the long robe-like garment (I sadly don't know what they are called) just makes me think he saw the movie, "The Grandmaster," and wanted an excuse to rip off the look. That's the closest he will ever get to being Ip Man.
Aaaand I'm gonna call bullshit on Steven actually playing that guitar lick himself. The guy leaves standing up to his stunt-doubles. I'm willing to bet he is just as lazy behind the microphone.
You sir, deserve so much more recognition. Your videos are the best thing on TH-cam. Even my wife, who doesn't like "stupid movies", can't help but laugh when you're on. She tries not to watch. But she hears, she laughs.
Thanks RedEye. This is my favourite late era Seagal movie. The Master went full on Beverly Hills Ninja with all his Buddhist wisdom in this one. He was just trying to mind his own business and be one with the universe, but they wouldn't leave him alone. So he killed them.
I'm almost 100% sure that Seagal watched Ip Man when he initially wrote the script for this, being the medicine man respected in the village but then saw John Wick and threw in the special ops/club scene for this mess of a movie
Seagal must be high as shit when he writes these films. It also seems like he tried to be Ip Man in this movie based on the choreography and fighting sound effects. Happy to see your channel growing 👍!!
Hey man, I unironically liked Seagal movies growing up. In India in the early 90's, you had very weird movie release schedules. A list movies sometimes would not release for months or even years, and you had to depend on crappy VHS. Seagal and Van Damme movies though, every single one of them released in theatres and as a 12-15 yo I watched them all. Love your reviews, funny and also I get all nostalgic at the same time
“Attrition” is also the name of Seagals career spanning retrospective box set. Available on 57 VHS tapes ... 189 videoCDs, 14 burnt dvds or “a” blurry um 1 blurry rather, all glorious restored to full 360p with um sound um sometimes. :p region free ... w/ macro vision.
Of all the many things I dislike about Seagal movies is that there is absolutely no dramatic tension or suspense to any of them. He goes through each film like a bulldozer, never taking any punishment. At least Van Damme understood the meaning of conflict and didn't just coast through his movies without taking a single hit. This shows just how arrogant Seagal is in real life, I believe. At least Van Damme can blame the drugs for some of his...
I always heard in his contracts he cant take more then one hit to the face,just in case it's not pulled correctly,since I believe Above The Law,his nose is realy broken in that scene,where the villian punches him,when he's in the chair,director loved it,so they kept it in
Also, Van Damme eventually got this shit together, cleaned up and is in extreme good shape for somebody in his age. He also can take a lough at himself, judging from that Van Johnson show, where he basically parodies himself. Seagal on the hand, takes all this BS serious and really believes the greatest martial artist eva or something.
Van Damme actually tries doing different roles, characters and movies. Seagal's movies and his character in them is fully templated. You know he will never have any trouble biting up someone, no one will be able to hit him, he always ends up with 1/3 of his age girl, and always mostly seats these days.
i agree with your idea about different directors, it seems like they decided to start with a normal seagal war movie, then moved to IP Man, then it became a heist movie for a few minutes before it had a Matrix gun fight and he kills the bad guy like its a Blade movie and then another weird seagal rant where people just listen while he monologues, and a credits scene from roadhouse, its fascinating
I the character being pelted with powder in this movie was being punished. In real life, there was once a ruthless gangster in India that used to g-rape and prostitute young women in the village that he lived in. He eventually got arrested and went on trial for his crimes. A mob of mature Indian women got their own justice by killing him in court. They did it by throwing super hot spices on him. He subsequently breathed in the spices thrown on him, his sinuses were overwhelmed by the heat, so he never made it out of that courtroom and perished.
Thank you for making these, I laugh hysterically every time! I’m waiting for him to fight Dracula at some point to see who gets to keep the widow’s peak 😂
Dude, you need to get through Reb Brown's filmography, its a trip. So many awesome movies. And to stay on topic, Steven Seagal Lawman is just... amazing.
@@RedEyeReviews you wont be disapointed. Strike Commando, Howling 2, Robowar, Yor Hunter from the Future, Cage and Cage 2, Uncommon Valor... the list goes on but those are my favs, there are some duds here and there but overall its solid. He is the best action hero no one knows, a shame really.
Yo, I love these reviews! Just found your channel today and these reviews of Steven Seagal movies are so funny lol. You're Seagal voice sounds like the English Dubbed version of King Kai from Dragon Ball Z XD
@@RedEyeReviews keep up the good work, these channels take a ton of dedication and patience to sit through an entire film and then have to edit the video while making it entertaining. Way harder than me editing my gaming/discussion videos on my channel XD
In my opinion this is one of the best films Seagal has done since *Pistol Whipped*. Sure he still isn't as active here but as an overall film I feel he was putting in a bit more effort here than he usually is these days. He even promoted this film somewhat which is something he doesn't do with his films. Or hasn't since around 2002 anyways.
Haven't seen like.... any of his movies(maybe seen 3-4 from his younger days) but I've watched tons of these reviews(and other channels with identical reviews) but after seeing clips from all his movies, this one at least has some artistic direction to it, the cinematography and coloring is well done and this movie actually carries the appearance of being a good movie. The acting, scripting and delivery all have their flaws, but this movie at least looks like everything behind the scenes was done competently, and it deserves credit for that. This movie makes me think of when the Syfy channel actually airs a good movie for once, as compared to the usual shit they have where no one actually watches(which would be pretty much all his other recent movies that have been flops)
Bruh, you are too funny. That's big reason why I subscribed. And the way you make fun of S.S, specially the way he talks. It always makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. Thank you for the great entertainment and content. Much appreciated..
This trivia brought by That Guy Info: The swords Seagulls buddy uses at start are called "Butterfly Knives." Intentional or not, leading to butterfly scene. Both swords and the staff, and the wooden dummy seems to indicate Seagals character practices Wing Chun. That sexy mandance at 2:55 looks like Chi Sao, or "Sticky Hands" training. Training to sense opponents intentions by touch. And that not meaning reading his mind, but how he is going to move. I can´t explain it clearer, because it´s been ages since I did that.
This movie sounds potentially interesting. Not having seen it, maybe there's some metaphorical reason why the villain's motivation for kidnapping the healer is being unable to walk in the sun, but it is his motivation. As for the cast and crew party at the end, my guess is that Seagal is playing the guitar, but that, for whatever reason, the portion that's being shown doesn't correspond to that point in the song (e.g., they decided to play that song over the credits and needed video to go with it).
Steven doing absolutely everything fully clothed, check. (In this case it's sleeping, in other movies its sex scenes). Steven wearing those ridiculous yellow glasses in almost every scene, check. Steven barely moving in fight scenes, and not getting hit once, check. Steven doing everything to make sure he's almost always seated, check. (Did he really have to sit down on chair for this? 4:29)
I saw the thumbnail and immediately thought “buckle up kids. This is going to be one of those films“. The parts involving the shop and the fight outdoors while he’s wearing that hat would have been legitimately artistic scenes had it been anyone else but whale blubber fu Manchu.
I've got to imagine that if (and this is a big "if") Seagal was ever shot in a movie made today (last time that happened was Under Siege 2 i think) he wouldn't wheeze or yell in pain and fall over, he'd probably sound like a balloon when you untie the knot and let it loose. Just a big "PHPHHHHHHHPPBBBBLLLLLLPHPHP"
This was the movie that misled me into thinking watching bad Seagal movies might actually be fun. Don't fall for it. But do watch this movie, if you're into that.
Here we go. Before I even watch this, as I recall, he actually likes this movie a lot. He spent an interview hyping it, while also talking about how much he loved Putin. Gotta love this wacky dude.
He must be chomping at the bit to make Under Siege 3, but probably because an actual studio with actual lawyers owns the rights ... um IP and I’m using the term Intellectual Property in the loosest sense possible ... he may never get to be Cody Rybacker, Casey Barebaker, The Cook? or whatever he was called ... again. And that’s gotta burn ... just like when seagal takes a slash! Still ... if it does happen ... hopefully it’s called ABOVER THE LAW! Though I’d love to see The China Salesmen Too ... they barely scratched the surface of that wasps nest of ideas.
Cool series of reviews. I've also seen all of the Seagal movies - not that I'm his fan, on the contrary - and I really enjoy watching your vids. "General Commander" is one of his worst btw, meant to be another TV show originally. "True Justice" had decent 1st season, not on the level of cop dramas like Homicide or The Wire of course, but in the category of simple police action it was much better than I expected (esp. given it's a Seagal show). Sarah Lind was really cool there imo. 2nd season was pretty bad though, they changed the focus from ensemble cast and made it more centered on Seagal, which was not a good idea in the slightest. Have you seen Sheep Impact? BTW I thought it could be cool to go through Big Swede Dolph Lundgren filmography next, he was in some pretty bad flicks, though him I genuinely like.
Thank you so much! I've heard "great" things about General Commander lol I can't wait. And yes absolutely be adding the legend of Dolph Lundgren to the channel. I love his movies and they need a good rewatching
The day Steven Seagal is just an average dude in a movie or doesn't get to have a young women wanting to sleep with him will be the first sign of the Apocalypse
12:26 Yes he is faking it dude. I've been playing guitar for 39 years, Seagal doesn't even know how to hold the guitar properly. I saw him play live and honestly he is the equivalent of a child learning to walk on guitar. He once said he was a Blues man because he plays with his fingers and doesn't use a pick. But first it's because it's hard to learn how to use a pick and he doesn't even play with his fingers he just brushes the strings with his thumb which is actually nothing, basically among musicians he doesn't know how to play.
Never ever disrespect mister Seagull again 👊
I saw him play live and he really wasn’t that bad 🎸
"My Steven Seagal voice is falling apart today"
... lets be honest, "falling apart" is probably the best description of his actual voice
Lol so true
Aww, no. He was starting to get kinda lohooneleee. mayaahaan!
*working from symphonic theory. Spell it how it sounds*
That should be the name of his next movie.
Hell, it fits perfectly with his little movie name convention too(supposedly his movie titles all need to describe HIM, so that the title can be read as "Steven Seagal is Attrition", "Steven Seagal is Above the Law", "Steven Seagal is Out for Blood", "Steven Seagal is A Good Man", "Steven Seagal is The China Salesman", "Steven Seagal is Falling apart")
@@nignamedmutt7270 "STEVEN SEAGAL IS FALLING APART"
I'M CRYING, THIS IS GREAT😂
@@nignamedmutt7270 Nah. It should be a kind of Hallmark X-mas schlock, with a half-arsed action movie plot lazily tagged on to make up the minutes. Called "Snatch Every Mother Fuckin' Boxing Day"
you, sir, deserve a medal for going through every Seagal movie ever! i don't think anybody else has managed that
Not even seagal has seen all of these!
Thank you friend! You've been here for most of it too. I appreciate it :)
I agree
Man. Wholesome exchange.
Oh boy :D movie reviewers all over yt are covering this for years.
“Machine gunning your enemies from behind is ok” - Budda, by way of Segal.
Segal's friend in this movie (guy with axes) is actually one of the few modern day actors in china that actually studied Kung Fu before getting into acting. Just a little trivia.
Thanks for the facts :)
Isn't this the guy who played Riki-Oh.
@@japethspeaketh7034 yep its him ( Fan Siu Wong)
His movies are like a war of attrition. Who gives up first, him or the viewer. I love it :P
Well, if IMDb is reporting correctly what Seagal has been involved with of late, he HAS given up, apparently some time in 2019…
I swear to God RedEye is one of the funniest channels on TH-cam. As a Seagal fan, I'm in a position to know.
I'm a glutton for punishment, I can't get enough of these segal movies. They're so bad they're good. You're doing us all a great service suffering through them for our enjoyment, it does not go unappreciated. Also it's awesome seeing how quickly your channel is growing! All the best from OR!
Thank you so much! I've really appreciate all your support :) Happy Holidays friend
Oh man, are you almost done with the epic Seagal catalogue of lolz? What a journey!
Hahahaha can this be my new channel motto?
@Jonathan Harrison amazing
The acting range of Seagal is amazing.. sometimes I can't even tell its him in most of his movies since his characters are so different
The old guy at 8:05 who played their master, is actually an absolute Hong Kong legend. His name is Mei Sheng Fan and he played in a lot of Jackie Chan’s movies and other Kung Fu flicks from the 70’s and 80’s. Keep up the good work Red Eye, always looking forward for new reviews. Cheers 👌🤘👍
Oooo that is great to know! Thank you so much :)
And by the way, they are father and son in real life 😁
@Maximilian Berkowitz oh shit for real?!
Yeah 😁
The son is also in Ip Man 1 & 2, he's really cool.
Binge-watched this series in less than 1 week. Watched all the Seagal movies without going through the enormous hurdle that is having to actually watch them. Thanks, RedEye!
So glad I could help! :)
Just did the same thing
“Bulletproof Michelin man.” Nice.
The cinematography in this is actually surprisingly good lol
The cinematography is the _only_ good thing about this movie.
4:26 this scene was hilarious. The feeble fall-down while the guy holds his chest like he’s having a heart attack; then of course Seagal needs to sit down after lightly waving his arms around for 5 seconds. This is perfection!
The whales sleeping part had me in stitches! You have a gift for comedy, these videos really raise my spirits.
Lol I couldn't help it. I'm so glad you liked it. What a great compliment
"The war.....must be fought....from within."
Well, the entire world war must be happening within your belly judging from the size of it, Stephen. Good job.
Damn
New subscriber here. As someone who grew up watching these awful Seagal movies on HBO back in the 90s I really appreciate you picking them apart so brutally one by one. You deserve way more views & subscribers.
Thank you friend!!
I genuinely screamed out with laughter when that card was turned over.
Lol things heated up real quick
@@RedEyeReviews Well...I guess SOME people are into that. LOL
@@RedEyeReviews
Not gonna lie, the production value of this movie actually seem way higher than the usual Seagal B-movies over the last two decades, he must be getting more funding for movies outside of the US. Glad to see his genius is being spread around the world.
Russian funding?
The speech that Seagal gives to the old kung fu masters at the end is actually kind of epic. If it were done by Donnie Yen or Chow Yun Fat it would have more gravitas, but because it's Seagal, his incredible ego just makes it that much more insanely epic!
The fact that he's talking all like he's Ip Man with all these wise sayings and stuff yet he flushes it all down the toilet at the end when he's armed to the teeth.
Love how he speaks English to someone who's talking to him in Mandarin. :P
The entire storyline made me laugh. He's special forces turned Ip man. He goes to a random village to become like the village protector who goes around and beats people up like a 2nd grader. Then at the end, he flushes all he's been saying right down the toilet by going crazy shooting everyone.
I highly agree.
Prior “special forces,” check. Living abroad now, check. Weird accents and a bullshit storyline, check. Steven being Steven in every movie, check. Yep it’s a Seagal movie 😂🤣😂🤣😂
It's such a shame that so many cool shots were wasted on this movie, I really liked the style. I'm bingeing your Seagull series again, it's what got me subbed to your channel almost two years ago, how time flies. Now I hear from time to time in my head your Seagal voice and I love it, thank you for existing my man!
6:50 about that disease:
People who have an extreme sensitivity to sunlight are born with a rare disease known as xeroderma pigmentosum (XP). They must take extreme measures to protect their skin from ultraviolet (UV) light. Anything that emits UV light, including the sun and some lightbulbs, can damage their skin. People who have XP need this extreme protection because their bodies cannot protect them from UV light. This happens because they inherit genes that prevent their bodies from repairing damage caused by UV light.
Because the body cannot protect itself from UV light, a person’s risk of getting skin cancer skyrockets. It’s estimated that XP can raise the risk of getting skin cancer 10,000-fold.
Most children who have XP develop skin cancer before reaching 10 years of age. At an even younger age, these children can have pre-cancerous growths on their skin.
Skin cancers and pre-cancerous growths develop because it takes time to diagnose XP. You cannot look at a newborn and tell that the child has XP.
People who have XP may also develop eye problems. Sunlight can cause cancers to form on their eyes or eyelids. Cataracts and other eye problems may also arise.
Oh damn that sounds intense. So it's definitely not just a silly reason to call him a vampire. Lol got it.
That sounds terrifying. Damn.
Do they easily burn in the sun as well? It sounds a lot like the toxin from giant hogweed that basically makes your skin blister after like 5 min in the sun.
Seagal wearing that hat and the long robe-like garment (I sadly don't know what they are called) just makes me think he saw the movie, "The Grandmaster," and wanted an excuse to rip off the look. That's the closest he will ever get to being Ip Man.
That ending with the guitar is like seagal watched groundhog day the day before wrapping up the film and just decided to do the ending of that film.
Steven Seagal Larping out his Weeabo Fantasy: The Motion Picture
My man is also a Futurama fan. Congrats on breaking 6000 subs, that didn't take long! Great video as always.
Oh I love Futurama. Have seen every episode a few too many times.
Aaaand I'm gonna call bullshit on Steven actually playing that guitar lick himself. The guy leaves standing up to his stunt-doubles. I'm willing to bet he is just as lazy behind the microphone.
@@nonapplicable8817 very good point
You sir, deserve so much more recognition. Your videos are the best thing on TH-cam. Even my wife, who doesn't like "stupid movies", can't help but laugh when you're on. She tries not to watch. But she hears, she laughs.
Awww thank you! Im so glad you both enjoy it
My husband and I just discovered your channel and been binging on the Seagal stuff. Love your content .
That is so kind of you. Thank you. :)
Segal was describing the Feathers of Gossip: “Mean words, like blowing feathers, go out into the world and cannot be taken back.”
I’ve been waiting for this thank you red eye reviews. I literally cannot get enough of these reviews.
Absolutely! So glad you enjoyed it
today's whiskey bent Seagal voice over you provided was priceless. the best yet.
Hahah thank you, friend.
This is one of your funniest videos and I've somehow missed it until now. It's like finding money in a pants pocket.
Thanks RedEye. This is my favourite late era Seagal movie. The Master went full on Beverly Hills Ninja with all his Buddhist wisdom in this one. He was just trying to mind his own business and be one with the universe, but they wouldn't leave him alone. So he killed them.
I'm almost 100% sure that Seagal watched Ip Man when he initially wrote the script for this, being the medicine man respected in the village but then saw John Wick and threw in the special ops/club scene for this mess of a movie
I also got some Ip Man Vibes...except Steven must have watched it while it played on a McDonalds with its sound turned of
Have you checked the runtime until the credits? Sometimes "extras" as the concert are added to stretch out the running time...
You're probably right. I think it is included
@@RedEyeReviews OMG...what if the only "payment" the other actors got was the concert...and they taped it as a proof if they ever complaint
@@A_Toastonawhiteplate hahah that would be incredible
Seagal must be high as shit when he writes these films. It also seems like he tried to be Ip Man in this movie based on the choreography and fighting sound effects. Happy to see your channel growing 👍!!
Oh he definitely wanted to be IP Man. He does the multiple face punching and everything.
Thank you friend!
Ah! Jin from Ip Man! That's why that dude looks so familiar!
Great movie!
"Bullet-proof Michelin Man" is the best Seagal moniker.
Hey man, I unironically liked Seagal movies growing up. In India in the early 90's, you had very weird movie release schedules. A list movies sometimes would not release for months or even years, and you had to depend on crappy VHS.
Seagal and Van Damme movies though, every single one of them released in theatres and as a 12-15 yo I watched them all.
Love your reviews, funny and also I get all nostalgic at the same time
That is crazy. But makes sense. His later releases have always done better outside of the United States.
I'm so glad I can provide some nostalgia:)
Surprised there wasnt any stripclub scenes in a movie he wrote himself
“Attrition” is also the name of Seagals career spanning retrospective box set. Available on 57 VHS tapes ... 189 videoCDs, 14 burnt dvds or “a” blurry um 1 blurry rather, all glorious restored to full 360p with um sound um sometimes. :p region free ... w/ macro vision.
Of all the many things I dislike about Seagal movies is that there is absolutely no dramatic tension or suspense to any of them. He goes through each film like a bulldozer, never taking any punishment. At least Van Damme understood the meaning of conflict and didn't just coast through his movies without taking a single hit. This shows just how arrogant Seagal is in real life, I believe. At least Van Damme can blame the drugs for some of his...
I always heard in his contracts he cant take more then one hit to the face,just in case it's not pulled correctly,since I believe Above The Law,his nose is realy broken in that scene,where the villian punches him,when he's in the chair,director loved it,so they kept it in
Also, Van Damme eventually got this shit together, cleaned up and is in extreme good shape for somebody in his age. He also can take a lough at himself, judging from that Van Johnson show, where he basically parodies himself.
Seagal on the hand, takes all this BS serious and really believes the greatest martial artist eva or something.
Van Damme actually tries doing different roles, characters and movies. Seagal's movies and his character in them is fully templated. You know he will never have any trouble biting up someone, no one will be able to hit him, he always ends up with 1/3 of his age girl, and always mostly seats these days.
I love that no matter what, without fail, every single movie Seagal does his character is some sort of special forces/ex special forces guy 😂😂
i agree with your idea about different directors, it seems like they decided to start with a normal seagal war movie, then moved to IP Man, then it became a heist movie for a few minutes before it had a Matrix gun fight and he kills the bad guy like its a Blade movie and then another weird seagal rant where people just listen while he monologues, and a credits scene from roadhouse, its fascinating
Right! He took 6 script ideas and threw the pages up in the air and whatever he caught. Made it into the movie.
I the character being pelted with powder in this movie was being punished.
In real life, there was once a ruthless gangster in India that used to g-rape and prostitute young women in the village that he lived in. He eventually got arrested and went on trial for his crimes. A mob of mature Indian women got their own justice by killing him in court. They did it by throwing super hot spices on him. He subsequently breathed in the spices thrown on him, his sinuses were overwhelmed by the heat, so he never made it out of that courtroom and perished.
Thank you for making these, I laugh hysterically every time! I’m waiting for him to fight Dracula at some point to see who gets to keep the widow’s peak 😂
Haha of course! I am waiting for that fight as well
Dude, you need to get through Reb Brown's filmography, its a trip. So many awesome movies. And to stay on topic, Steven Seagal Lawman is just... amazing.
Ooooo I'll start looking into him for sure. Thank you!
@@RedEyeReviews you wont be disapointed. Strike Commando, Howling 2, Robowar, Yor Hunter from the Future, Cage and Cage 2, Uncommon Valor... the list goes on but those are my favs, there are some duds here and there but overall its solid. He is the best action hero no one knows, a shame really.
@@Darkja uncommon valor was a drama movie and he’s actually not bad in it or at least not bad to me
Yo, I love these reviews! Just found your channel today and these reviews of Steven Seagal movies are so funny lol. You're Seagal voice sounds like the English Dubbed version of King Kai from Dragon Ball Z XD
Hey! I'm so glad you like the channel :) yeah my Seagal voice has taken on a mind of its on lol
@@RedEyeReviews keep up the good work, these channels take a ton of dedication and patience to sit through an entire film and then have to edit the video while making it entertaining. Way harder than me editing my gaming/discussion videos on my channel XD
@@MugenLord thank you so much! It is a ton of work, but being a creative like yourself, I just love the whole process :)
This had to be one of the funniest reviews ever - love it!
Man, all these reviews are gold, great job
Thank you!
Keep it up red eye! This has become one of my favorite channels!
Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoy it :)
In my opinion this is one of the best films Seagal has done since *Pistol Whipped*. Sure he still isn't as active here but as an overall film I feel he was putting in a bit more effort here than he usually is these days. He even promoted this film somewhat which is something he doesn't do with his films. Or hasn't since around 2002 anyways.
Agreed! Its leagues better than most anything he's done in recent years
Haven't seen like.... any of his movies(maybe seen 3-4 from his younger days) but I've watched tons of these reviews(and other channels with identical reviews) but after seeing clips from all his movies, this one at least has some artistic direction to it, the cinematography and coloring is well done and this movie actually carries the appearance of being a good movie.
The acting, scripting and delivery all have their flaws, but this movie at least looks like everything behind the scenes was done competently, and it deserves credit for that.
This movie makes me think of when the Syfy channel actually airs a good movie for once, as compared to the usual shit they have where no one actually watches(which would be pretty much all his other recent movies that have been flops)
Bruh, you are too funny. That's big reason why I subscribed. And the way you make fun of S.S, specially the way he talks. It always makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. Thank you for the great entertainment and content. Much appreciated..
I'm so glad you like it :) thanks for the kind words
“Store-brand Galadriel” got me good
@14:09 omg I spit out my water. The lead up was stealthy, and the delivery was spot on. ROFL
Haha I'm so sorry I am getting in the way of your hydration!
This trivia brought by That Guy Info:
The swords Seagulls buddy uses at start are called "Butterfly Knives." Intentional or not, leading to butterfly scene. Both swords and the staff, and the wooden dummy seems to indicate Seagals character practices Wing Chun.
That sexy mandance at 2:55 looks like Chi Sao, or "Sticky Hands" training. Training to sense opponents intentions by touch. And that not meaning reading his mind, but how he is going to move. I can´t explain it clearer, because it´s been ages since I did that.
That flipping of the card scene commentary had me rolling 😂✊
Lol some times the fist card turns everything around.
Steven Seagal and Dan Bilzerian should make a movie called "Fake Ops. Special Ed Forces".
@La Verdad yup. Lmao
@La Verdad he's a fake navy seal
This movie sounds potentially interesting. Not having seen it, maybe there's some metaphorical reason why the villain's motivation for kidnapping the healer is being unable to walk in the sun, but it is his motivation. As for the cast and crew party at the end, my guess is that Seagal is playing the guitar, but that, for whatever reason, the portion that's being shown doesn't correspond to that point in the song (e.g., they decided to play that song over the credits and needed video to go with it).
Love your work with Ste “chair fu” master.
Steven doing absolutely everything fully clothed, check. (In this case it's sleeping, in other movies its sex scenes).
Steven wearing those ridiculous yellow glasses in almost every scene, check.
Steven barely moving in fight scenes, and not getting hit once, check.
Steven doing everything to make sure he's almost always seated, check. (Did he really have to sit down on chair for this? 4:29)
I’ve been binging your SS vids. It has been brutal.
Each individual episode or the series as a whole?
Great video as always
Each episode. But if an episode doesn't have alot to it. Then I might do 2 episodes per video or something like that.
@@RedEyeReviews I was hoping you would say that super excited never seen his cops show before
Steven has been living his best life for a long time 😂💯
I saw the thumbnail and immediately thought “buckle up kids. This is going to be one of those films“. The parts involving the shop and the fight outdoors while he’s wearing that hat would have been legitimately artistic scenes had it been anyone else but whale blubber fu Manchu.
Haha that is an amazing nickname
"He then goes full Kaleidoscope on us".......BAAAHAHAHA I cant breathe. Seagal is just an endless comedy material producer:)))))
It's really bizarre what he puts in his movies sometimes lol.
"Terrible things, I have done." - He should be a bit softer about summarizing his movie career.
OMFG! Can't wait for your videos about Lawman!
I've got to imagine that if (and this is a big "if") Seagal was ever shot in a movie made today (last time that happened was Under Siege 2 i think) he wouldn't wheeze or yell in pain and fall over, he'd probably sound like a balloon when you untie the knot and let it loose. Just a big "PHPHHHHHHHPPBBBBLLLLLLPHPHP"
Nothing like playing the blues in an Asian outfit.......
The most active I've seen Segal in over a decade
Man I laughed so hard during this review. The butterfly bit had me cracking up!!
I have to confess that I'm becoming addicted to your Steven Seagul videos.
Still waiting for Jiu Jitsu with Nicholas Cage though.
Oh thank you! Nic Cage will come very shortly
The General Commander trailer is pure gold 👌🏽
Steven Seagal: The only guy to put on more clothes during love scenes. Smdh
This was the movie that misled me into thinking watching bad Seagal movies might actually be fun. Don't fall for it. But do watch this movie, if you're into that.
Merry Christmas Lord RedEye
& The RedEye Nation.
Merry Christmas friend
Really good channel. One day your channel is going to blow up.
Thank you friend
Here we go. Before I even watch this, as I recall, he actually likes this movie a lot. He spent an interview hyping it, while also talking about how much he loved Putin. Gotta love this wacky dude.
Haha brilliant
He's just a silly ol' fella
Absolutely love this channel. I get great comedy but fill like I watched a whole movie, all in short time
Yay! Glad you like it
Great work as always. I heard he was going to make above the law 2. Now, that could be something worth reviewing.
I have all the notifications turned on lol. So if he does, I'll know
He must be chomping at the bit to make Under Siege 3, but probably because an actual studio with actual lawyers owns the rights ... um IP and I’m using the term Intellectual Property in the loosest sense possible ... he may never get to be Cody Rybacker, Casey Barebaker, The Cook? or whatever he was called ... again. And that’s gotta burn ... just like when seagal takes a slash!
Still ... if it does happen ... hopefully it’s called ABOVER THE LAW!
Though I’d love to see The China Salesmen Too ... they barely scratched the surface of that wasps nest of ideas.
@@RedEyeReviews I heard something about an Under Siege 3 a while back, although it might just be a reboot with a different actor.
Cool series of reviews. I've also seen all of the Seagal movies - not that I'm his fan, on the contrary - and I really enjoy watching your vids. "General Commander" is one of his worst btw, meant to be another TV show originally. "True Justice" had decent 1st season, not on the level of cop dramas like Homicide or The Wire of course, but in the category of simple police action it was much better than I expected (esp. given it's a Seagal show). Sarah Lind was really cool there imo. 2nd season was pretty bad though, they changed the focus from ensemble cast and made it more centered on Seagal, which was not a good idea in the slightest. Have you seen Sheep Impact?
BTW I thought it could be cool to go through Big Swede Dolph Lundgren filmography next, he was in some pretty bad flicks, though him I genuinely like.
Thank you so much! I've heard "great" things about General Commander lol I can't wait.
And yes absolutely be adding the legend of Dolph Lundgren to the channel. I love his movies and they need a good rewatching
@@RedEyeReviews Great, can't wait to watch'em. And then you could go through films with Don Wilson, Loren Avedon, Matthias Hues, Reb Brown...
@Mister_M some great name drops lol. I think for every video I do, 10 more ideas come up haha. I'll never run out of content
This review and your Seagal voice made me cry laugh, this was absurdly funny and I don't know why! I am mesmerised by the magic of Seagal's butterfly!
Lol thank you so much. His voice just takes over me sometimes
The bodydouble at 4:23 had The easyiest Day at work.
Steven Seagal's most epic line (said in his real voice for full effect 😄) in this movie: "Unless you have emptiness, the butterfly will leave." 🤪🤣
The day Steven Seagal is just an average dude in a movie or doesn't get to have a young women wanting to sleep with him will be the first sign of the Apocalypse
He surprisingly didn’t write in a scene where he gets laid. Buuuuut he did add a song about him getting laid. Boom, nice save Steven. Nice save.
I spit out my food when he said "have you ever seen a whale sleep?"
lol. nature documentaries at their finest
2:53 Man, Steven has really been working on his dancing.
Attrition; the action or process of gradually reducing the strength or effectiveness of someone or something through sustained attack or pressure.
Correlation is not causation
"Yeah, f#$k it, why not!!" That feckin killed me hahhahaa
Almost finishing the segal filmography is an impressive feat of human endurance.
I'm not even kidding, in comparison to all the other Steven Somal movies this one isn't horrible.
So that hand dancing is actually a practice in Tai chi called push hands or tui shou. It’s used to train being able to be fluid while fighting
Seagal’s guitar playing abilities are about as real as his hair