Also they use Government to PSYOP YOU AKA push their agenda to "test' you as if you were the narcissist and even TH-cam Algorithm or other Tools to villify you as a cover up
You are so right! I divorced my covert ex at age 72. I am now 75, happy and thriving for the first time in my life thanks to helpful therapy videos like yours! God help and bless those who need to get out of narcissistic relationships no matter what age, but especially as they get older!
Oh my gosh. Good for you. I m still eneshed with the aged narc mother but her whole family gang was like that and my brother is worse. It's a nightmare. I am low contact with my mom and no contact with her relatives and my brother
There are many narcissists ending up in Senior residential homes thrown in there where their children and grandchildren are not frequently visiting them. And one wonders why? And the answer is very evident after watching this video. Thank you!
Please don’t assume the old folks abandoned by their adult kids into senior housing are the real narcs in this scenario. Sometimes it is the adult family members who are the narcs, warehousing their mom on the taxpayers dime while they loot and pillage, while abandoning them.
@@dontbelongherefromanother right, having a narcissist in ones life is like making friends with terminal cancer. They are death to the spirit, a constant uncontrollable death. The only solution is to walk away and don't look back
@@errickflesch5565 they know that they’re empty. They know it very well, my ex would always very randomly say my brain is not right. I just thought he was just moping around as usual, but nope he knew he was a sick individual and his whole family knew too, but the goal is to always cover it up.
My father has literally destroyed my mental health, and keeps up the abuse, even with no contact, he tries to hurt me when he can. He has gone out of his way to make sure everyone hates me and doesn't speak to me, then he acts like he cares just to get me back into his web. When I caught onto this game (among many), I realized there's no turning back for me. I have no words for this monster.
Pro tip: Narcissistic mothers will take that bitterness, anger, jealousy, greed, ALL the way to the grave with them. You’ll never hear what you need to hear from them. You’ll never ‘finally’ get kindness, apologies, encouragement, gratitude, signs of regret, or any form of love from them. If you can get away before they’re financially and physically dependent on you, DO IT! There’s not one reason to stick around. And know this, as the last attachment can sometimes be an inheritance or something, they’ve already written you out of the will. Just RUN.
I'm having a fight inside me....I'm her only daughter, it's my responsibility to take care of her, she is now 75, but now long can I really handle being her servant and bite my tongue when she disrespects me all day long...all the way to hitting on my husband...trying to get away now and her games are coming right and left
Once they get in their 50's/60's/70's, their body doesn't work the way it used to (either menopause or achy joints). They become more negative, bitter, sour, vindictive and controlling, especially if they feel their "power" is being taken away. They suck the life out of the room, and instead of aging into mentors/role models, they become desperate for total control of everything/everyone around them. Younger people/leaders piss them off, because they begin to realize that time is not on their side: they have one foot in the grave. Dealing with the aging/elderly narcissist is tricky, because misery loves company. They age horribly and rapidly: all of that negativity, hatred, anger, and their need for control eventually catches up with them. Not to mention all of the health issues that are brought on from the stress they put themselves through: it all starts from within. I recommend keeping your distance respectfully, or zero contact for the truly deranged/malignant ones that can't be reasoned with.
@@MauriceRivers415 I'm actually healthier and happier in 50s and don't see it as "old." Neither do I see 60's that way or even early 70s, doesn't matter they are "spring chickens."I work with true elderly as a professional and just don't see it as you do. Narcs are never happy at any age.
@@nryane I don’t know that depends I know people that aged pretty good and they took care of themselves and worked out and stop now you’re telling me that all them people throwing that filler in your face and stuff yeah they start looking like crap sometimes I was that thing can go wrong.
@@Portia620 Somatic narcissists are often going to workout to look good especially lifting weights. Remember their narcissism is directed at looking good. I worked with a narcissist who constantly lifted weights. He might have looked good on the outside but was nasty as hell on the inside. Male or female just because it looks good doesn't mean it is good.
My elderly mother has gotten much worse in recent years. I have had to end contact with her to save my sanity. Please don’t allow a narcissistic parent destroy your important relationships . That’s their ultimate goal . Understand that narcissists only get worse . My wealthy mother tried to string me along promising me that all that she owns would eventually be mine . She tried to convince me not to pursue a lucrative career . I ignored her. At this point she has probably changed her will. Narcissists are full of surprises. Never forget that .
I call it the dangling money over your head to control you. Believe me I dealt with it for years because I'm on disability. I would say I'm going to buy a bathroom rug and this person would appear with a rug then go tell everyone they had to help me just to look good for others. I wanted to make my own purchases and go shopping. I could afford a rug even though they made it sound like I couldn't.
I've posted on your channel before and I have to tell you that your expertise on this subject is 200% on the money. On December 13, 2019 after three decades of abusive behavior my divorce was final. So glad to say, Happy Anniversary to me!🦋🦋🐞💐💐
12 years and mine think I'm sick your my wife you have to take care of me he has scleroderma also ànd I Said No he 50 I'm 54 and I didn't even know nothing about this
I went NO CONTACT in June 2020 after 8 years of Narc abuse, his lying, physical attacks , put downs, sex addiction . I still didn’t know him after all those years. He said he worked in London 3 days a week , he was with another woman . I went NO CONTACT in June, I have stayed strong . NO CONTACT !!! It’s the only way. Trust me if you really want to be free.
I’ve got 20 years I wish it was only 8 .what evil cruel people .and mate I had no idea he’s a narcissist it took me 20 years to work him out .he’s so cunning and sly oh and the lies .I’ve left him finally .
@@michelleg5371 Wow! So glad you are finally free! They are insidious and cunning . They hide it well, my gut instinct was going over time , but so hard to escape. It’s like he holds you down under water then lifts you up again and you are grateful to him and forgiving , that’s how it felt for me. Be free , Be You, Be happy . Trust your Gut instinct it will ever let you down . All the very best to you 💐✨
They have separate lives and not always are they GQ or beauty queens! They can be the nice guy that is hell on wheels after the honeymoon stages as they slowly and insidious prepare you for the NIGHTMARES!!!!! I have two kids (I because he picks when it’s confident to play daddy) and both are super traumatized and been in therapy weekly! One has withdrew from 2nd semester of college she is such a mess and it became apparently when she started seeing him again. The pandemic separated them. He was so sad over the divorce he couldn’t talk to him for two months in the middle of a worldwide crisis where you don’t know if you’ll die or your kids will. Actually what he was doing was he had his nose up somebody else’s butt trying to make the deal and seal it she has two children to and it’s very apparent once you know who they are and easy to see through the game when you wake up out of the La La Land they put you in because it is truly brainwashing. I have no doubt I was completely brainwashed I was not in love I was brainwashed!!! It’s overwhelming and a hard pill to swallow when you start seeing everything in the house that he had or did and I found three pairs of scissors he was cutting sheets and things things were hidden it was crazy making constantly. He was always gone and then when he was home it was always my fault for starting the argument. It’s quiet now it’s taking me almost 7 years or eight years to figure this out and I will be divorced when we start a divorce in 2019 it’ll be four years and I haven’t even dated! Best life ever!!! ❤️
I'm on year 11 and I can tell you the "PTSD" is real.....I still don't know who I was ever even married to. It's like a "running movie set " that plays in my head all day. Some days? wondering to myself "was the whole marriage" just a LIE?????
@@amandagarcia6320 sadly yes. That was the biggest hurdle for me to get over also was realizing that somebody that I've known since I was 17 years old my first everything somebody that I invested in and cared for didn't give two schitts about me the whole time. His children even less. Im the only one he's ever had kids with, in spite of his many relationships.. Still trying to figure that one out, because children are an anchor. To keep you around. It's been 8 years since the divorce, and happily free. Only God can tell me why. I have no idea. He hates me but keeps me locked in theough lawsuits?
@@TrinketStarz Thank You for taking the time to share this with us. You sound like you're much, much better off without that individual in your life. Good for you for continuing to move forward with your life with courage, self-respect and dignity!
I’m so blessed that I found Jill on here , she has helped me understand the nightmare I lived with my ex-wife … what I realized is you never stop unfolding the reality of things in the relationship that you now discover because you were constantly kept spinning and gas lighted , it’s unbelievable once the spinning stops how devastated you really are . I don’t know that I will ever really trust again , I hate saying that , I just pray this gets easier. God Bless and stay strong!
I knew my mother was a narcassist when she told me I had a “cheek” for opening a savings account to buy my first home. She’s a covert narcasist so she started threatening me with suicide over text. I’m 23 and we are no longer in contact. My NM has never owned a house so she is obviously bitter rather than happy for me for taking responsible steps
Thank you for confirming what l have thought for some time I believe the best revenge is success They hate that Also build a good relationship with your children if possible They hate that as well because they Never had that
What about when the narcissist in your life does everything in their power to stop you from reaching any of your goals in life? I’ll tell you... you sit there and look back on 20 wasted, empty years and realise you are nothing to them and never were 😔
Yep, I can relate! Dealing with the anger about lost opportunities is tough. I regret not knowing earlier...it sux basically, without redemption. Hopefully still young enough to take this knowledge with me for the future, whatever it may hold
I can also relate. My covert narc father has been holding me back all the time. He only cares about my last born malignant narc sister. He appears in my dreams barging in my house being accompanied by my narc sister and her son. He wants me to support them financially because that's how he was raised by his siblings. But now, I'm employing defiant self love above everyone else. I also stick to the bulletproof boundaries that I have created.
@chronicreader Good for you getting out. And to be able to keep your mind strong enough to come up with an idea to start a business well done. I wonder if have a form of bipolar .?
yea been there... notice it but dident realy believe it ..30 years for me...now 20 years later i realize there was no love just a constant struggle for her to be on top ..its the women ive been involved with after her that made it so clear ,there just so much easier to get on with ..for her a chain of disasters with men ..i realize now she cant love anybody cos she needs to be in control all the time
So sorry to read Graham. I was raised by narcissist mother,,, so of course chose a narcissistic man for a husband... hate to stay, afraid to leave..,meanwhile, years keep slipping away. I mean something to my husband...a paycheque, an audience to listen to his verbal diahharea and a slave to clean up after him... I Don't even remember my dreams and even if I did, I'm so drained and crushed by this person, I don't have the energy.
Recently got rid of one who is also a pathological liar. Thank God I got him out of my life before he could do any real damage to me or my life. And looks wise, he is no prize. And when you talk about bigotry, you are spot on. And everything bad that happens to them is always somebody else's fault. Whew, glad I dodged that bullet.
Very accurate. Both my parents are narcissists. Mom is a diagnosed, high level NPD. Dad is covert but won't let himself be diagnosed. They are in their 80's now. I'm on my 50's and was always the scapegoat but don't contact them anymore. They are unbearable to be around because they are hostile, aggressive manipulative and jealous they are towards me because I'm younger. They tried to scare me with endless horror stories of all the health problems (they have) "I will get" when I age. They told me they hope I die before them. They stole my grandmother's estate money from her when they were younger and want my money, tried to manipulate me for it but I refused and let go. I have strong boundaries, which they hate. They hate me because I don't share in their fantasy of thinking they are omnipotent/royalty/superior/whatever. Nope. Mom was always very vain and all about beauty. Dad was all about status. They had money and brilliant careers. Being retired their rich friends aren't around and mom desperately scrounged for supply. They bought a large house and new car then have no money left for other things. I'm doing well and live within my means. They (well, mostly mom but dad too sonewhat) never wanted me to succeed in my career. She sabotaged my education by making dad stop paying for college when I was doing well. She laughed as I struggled to get my education and find off campus housing, telling me I couldn't come home because she wanted her privacy. So I worked HARD. Multiple jobs and taking school too on my own. My career flourished from perserverence. They hate that, too. I was supposed to be her flunkie servant. Nope. They belittled and attacked me every step of the way. I stayed in therapy for the C-PTSD their abuse gave me. Learned to be strong. I've been on my own living away from them since 16. Now I have a nice home and peaceful life. They know that they will be told to leave if they visit and try to start anything. Their hatred is strong yet they smile and come bearing gifts briefly once in awhile. I will talk to them but cannot trust them so I am on guard. They know I will get a restraining order if they attack or abuse so it's just a fake momentary grab for supply then they go back to shunning me again. They shunned and blew me off all my adult life but cannot stand that I no longer care.
To add, they die making all around them as miserable as possible. Seen it. Ripping hearts out as their main goal with their last breath. Leave them asap and olan on never looking back. Did that with "mommie dearest" and many others. Save yourself!!!
My father did that prior to his death. He made everyone's life miserable and then complained when we wouldn't visit him. I have his diary so he knew what he was doing, but then again at the same time it was like he was a moth to a flame. He simply couldn't get over himself. I'm sorry but also glad you got your needed separation from your mother.
@@Fenrir-uv9ib Sorry, it is so painful... My mother did the same. When she got the message about her death, one should think she would be better... but not at all. Blessings 💞
@@SilentFigure1 Marylynne was quite plain without the makeup mand hair dye, but this lady has natural good looks. Good cheekbones etc. Doesn't have to dress up to look good.
Absolutely 100% accurately describes my experience. The only way is out or risk your own sanity. For anyone feeling trapped, please seek help as Kim advises.
it is so sad to watch it all unfold and watch them totally fall apart...and yet I know the best thing for me is to stay away...I am not going down with that rapidly sinking ship.
Brazil, I love how you said, collect "it's" due. That's what I call them, too. An "IT" ! A creature, a monster, a beast, a dragon, an evil spirit, no gender, an "IT".
Narcissists rely heavily on their physical attraction, so ageing for them is a nightmare. The only time my narc displayed any real vulnerability was when the subject of getting older cropped up. It scared the shit out of her. Narcissists burn bridges with people throughout their lives so when their physical appearance is no longer their trump card they are going to struggle. They are invariably unpleasant individuals whose "personality" is their achilles heal. Anyway, my ex narc can rot in hell for all I care. May the later decades of her miserable existence be the hell that she deserves.
Not all Narcissists are good looking!!! Just a head up!!!! I was married to a man that was a good guy very covert narcissistic man he was not overt at all and he definitely wasn’t a GQ guy I married him because I thought he was a great guy super sweet thanks to the love bombing and I’m poetry and everything and he was a hard worker and he used me and used my family.
@@Portia620 There are different types of narcissists. My sister is married to a covert cerebral narcissist. He even told her to think of him as the "absent minded professor". That has been his schtick for as long as I've know him. He thinks himself of superior intelligence. He had me fooled. I just thought him a naer do well until I figured out what a cerebral narcissist is. My sister doesn't want to believe it still, yet she is absolutely destroyed and owned by this idiot. I was married to a covert somatic narcissist and my older brother was this as well.
My oldest daughter is having a problem with that now having recently turned 48. She is continuously taking selfies and telling everyone how great she looks for her age. She’s gone as far as posting that she looks better than some in their 20’s.
So true! My 93 year old mother has no gratitude. Never had to work, nagged and embarrassed my Dad and me without mercy. Now she is in care and we all visit every week, but she tells each of us she has seen no family in weeks. She is delusional and angry most of the time and insisists that the staff steal her property, even underwear, and that none of the other patients want to be friendly. It is very hard to visit, knowing what s in store each time.
That is the exact description of my ex who is now 60 - Thank God I was recently discarded after spending almost 17 years with him. A week after I saw a movie where someone was called a narcissist and I began investigating and now EVERYTHING that happened from our first meeting makes so much sense! May he be struck by karma and lightning ...
My experience was so similar to yours. So sorry you had to go through this. Happy to say I met the live of my life at age 60 and he’s not a narcissist, actually he’s a great man and very loving. And I have very healthy boundaries now❤️
I met mine at age 17. Oh they should teach kids in school about narcs. He neatly ruined my life but Thank God he discarded me. 20 years later he shows back up. Located me, I still didn't know about narc abuse ( 2002) thought he matured. Nope same old same old. But this time I'm 51, and he doesn't scare me a bit. Now it's on and he's bleeding money. Even the judge saw through him.
Definitely, I think to have hope when it comes to narcissistic people is dangerous no matter what age. The hope I had before I discovered what I was truly dealing with has nearly destroyed me. We have to face reality to be able to make the best decisions for ourselves, to be able to heal and move forward.
Thought we could mature gracefully together. After six years I had to call it quits. Our son and I needed stability. Leaving him was absolutely the right choice ! Seems that I was secretly hoping for his awakening and self realization and we could be that loving family....if only.
I just got away from a narcissist who decimated my self esteem. He was a decade older than me and use to chip away at me by telling me about the girls he'd dated in the past and how a couple had even been models, he'd call them 'beautiful' and 'supermodel beauty queen types'....then turn around and call me 'attractive'. It was like a knife to the gut, because he was creating a very clear divide between how he saw the girls from his younger years and me, bearing in mind that I'm only 36 and I'm in great shape. I went from being confident to feeling unattractive in 8 months and like I desperately wanted him to see me as beautiful. Then it all fell into place- he controlled me by keeping me insecure, he was trying to make me feel like I was with someone out of my league by being with him. He had been a very attractive guy in his twenties and thirties, but at 46 his life choices had caught up with him. So to make himself feel better he bragged about the past and whittled down my self esteem. But now that I'm free of him it's as clear as day, I'm not ugly, he's just got an ugly heart that's full of utter poison.
That video was perfect in describing older Narcs. It really does get worse and the word Pathetic describes them to the T. The mask comes off because of their inability to manipulate and control and reality sets in. Thank you so much for your insight and knowledge on an issue that continues to devastate our society.
I’m 61, my narcissistic mom lives with us for health reasons-biggest mistake ever and now, with Covid, we’re stuck. We’ve been away from her 1 day since March. Sometimes I think I’m going crazy!
You are so right…the last five years of his life became even more filled with rages and temper tantrums which were unpredictable and almost non-stop! After he passed, I finally realized that I was suffering from PTSD that took me several years to overcome.
I can definitely relate. This video helps to understand more about the weird things he does. It is getting weirder by the day. Everyone keeps saying he might be getting Alzheimer’s, but I doubted it. Thank you, this video has been very insightful.
I have both parents with narcissistic disorder. undiagnosed. I suffered so did both my brothers, one committed suicide while he was still living in their home at 23 years of age. I failed to help him the last year when he needed help because I did not have a therapist. So I have some insight into this area. my advice for anyone going through this is to spend a good year finding a therapist that works for you because you will need one just to touch base with and maintain a stable center for yourself. As a sufferer of narcissistic abuse we are both prone to repeat it and prone to fear a therapist because we feel something is wrong with us. But don’t forgo getting help, you have no idea how much it will help you to have support. One thing I’ve noticed about therapists is that they are better if they have gone through it themselves. But any of them can offer support. This video was pretty good. I have noticed that a lot of these videos don’t have it all correct. But the videos are a good learning tool. Look for regular people who have gone through it, this is the best therapy. Talk to your siblings about it only if it’s safe to do so don’t talk to them if it causes danger for you or more family rift. My third tip is don’t take the advice that is floating around out there about no contact. This isn’t true and it’s too extreme unless you feel your life is in danger or your abusive family member is doing extreme psychological damage to you and this usually happens when some other psychiatric illness is present like we could suffer major depression plus be dealing with the narcissistic parent or person. In this case, it could be a good idea to separate for long periods of time if the narcissist is a parent or totally separate if the narcissist is a partner. It depends on the type of tie they have to you and how severe the abuse. For myself, I have found that there is a certain amount of good in our relationship with the bad. And temporary separations work best for me. I will do my duty to them as a daughter but I won’t be a doormat for them.
Thank you…as he aged, we met when he was 60, and ended it when was he 73, he got nastier and nastier. I thought it was my imagination, and frustration with the relationship, however this video validates his downward spiral. Broke, physical maladies, and normal aging, turned this narc into an animal. I did hope until my counselor confirmed he was a narc and no amount of therapy would help. I was just a woman that fell head over heels in love. 😢
Dont be a prisoner to your family. Live your life. Heal your soul. Stay healthy. God will change their circumstances. HE will give you wisdom what to do next.
I have a nearly 40 year old son I have deemed a lost cause. Of my 3 kids he is just as narcissist as his dad. Sad but true. Nothing will dissuade him. Only God can fox tjat and be prepared that not all will see the light.
This rings true. I watched my MN mother (from afar) end up dying alone. Some people would say who were not in the know dementia was why she was acting so violently and poorly, but doctors would say no. She could not keep her lies together; all faults were amplified overshadowing any of the good aspects. It really felts as if she was trying to destroy everyone's life she could before she died even possibly taking a few of us with her. It was a very sad time for my entire family. She had a life of suffering and left sadness and confusion in her wake.
Your post struck a sadness within me, thank you for sharing it, and I wondered how you have felt differently (or if you even have felt differently) now that she is gone.
You nailed my ex right on the head. I thought it was dementia! Thankfully he replaced me with his new supply. Finally at 62, I'm out. Phew. It all makes sense now.
Yeah you’re lucky because she stuck with hell my ex ended up with his brother-in-law‘s younger sister she’s been married twice and has kids from two different men started dating my ex during our divorce you would think she would know better being a social worker she’s about ready to get a PhD in hell. I even sent her flowers for her surgery because you know what I’m so freaking thankful that girl but I just wish she keep them a little busier because he came back to me and he still in my family and my dad‘s friends it’s so messed up!! These people get so in Ashton your family there delusional they need to like get a life
This was really helpful. As I approach 70 I've tried to understand why the narcissists I know become hyper critical and even more difficult. It makes sense they may be desparately struggling to hold onto the last vestiges of their superiority and entitlement. I am so glad for these videos that give us all the tools to avoid their abuse. Thank you!
You have just described my narcissistic mother who made hell of my childhood and who I had cut off for most of my adult life. Unfortunately, she is 90 and needs help with many things and I'm the only one who's able to take care of her. She doesn't bother to hide how much of disappointment and disgrace I'm for her. Still hurts 😕
Two words. Nursing home. My mother's nightmare is her own image. The narc sister she groomed, will be picking out her nursing home. My own mother asked me to kill her if she ever went in a nursing home nevermind the legal ramifications for me and how her Golden Child would inherit all she had. That thing didn't give one Whit about me so she can rot as far as I'm concerned. You're more than a saint than I'll ever be that woman disgust me to even think about
Omg my mom says shady things to me then she oh girl you know I’m proud of you 👏🏽 and love my daughter! I’m like after calling me loud etc she always deflect especially when I say anything about her Golden eggs (her son’s) it’s okay it makes me stronger! Nonetheless I still love her very much she’s good and bad at times especially emotionally!
You are describing the malignant narcissist dad of my children. He sabotages and maligns all of their progress and efforts at becoming independent secure Happy peaceful and well adjusted And coercively controls them from pursuing THEIR Passions and dreams
Been through all that!!! That’s sooo sick! It literarily made me 🤢! And it did. They are stick ,sick,sick people!!! My mom was jealous of me, and she destroyed 2 of my relationships!! Now I am left empty and lost and all my joy is out of me!!! Trying to find the way back! I transformed into a person I never thought I would! Aggressive and sad, empty full of hate sometimes. There even more things I don’t even want to mention!!! Psychopathisch stufff .All the best!!! God bless
@@lonewolf3828 I’m so sorry. It’s beyond imaginable. I too am aggressive and full of anger, but I have decided at this point in my life I cannot do this anymore I cannot live this way. I am going to therapy. I did inherit a depressive Mindset which makes it twice as hard to fight
Thank you! What a great video. I have a narcissistic father and now a partner that I'm looking for a way away from. It's making me pysically ill. I'm with a Covert narcissist my first husband was a malignant narcassist and now a Covert snuck in before I knew about narcissists at all. I'm devistated but have come to the realization that I've gotta call it quits. We are middle aged and he's only getting worse. I'm disabled and it's really tricky how I'm gonna do this.
Praying for you to safely escape. I am 72 and have been married 36 yrs to my second narcissistic husband. Didn’t know about narcissism until a few yrs ago either. Only after researching bi polar did I realize that my husband is definitely a narcissist. Anyway they do get worse as they age I believe. My husband will be 69 in April and still works thank goodness but of course he can’t keep working forever. I believe he is a good worker. I am definitely his scapegoat. He rages and carries on then we have Mr Nice Guy that will do some thoughtful things. I should have left a long time ago but now our home is paid for and I am on his health insurance with diabetes and other health issues. So if you believe God is leading you to leave you should do so of course❤️🙏
My heart goes out to you. After recently escaping the first week of lockdown, it dawned on me "OMG what about the targets that will be trapped in the shituation?!" Not a day goes by that I don't think of you & the others. I try to spread awareness on social media.
I didn't go home with my husband and he went full blown and I now have a No Contact with him and he was doing okay then I found a check on the door he was standing on camera about ten minutes and still didn't knock on the doorI'm going to get an order of protection on my husband
Lived many, many years as an empath with a covert narcissist. So thankful for your divine work. It's literally opened my eye's and probably saved my life. However, now that I've identifed her as a covert narcissist the monster has really come fourth! To the extreme point of saying, "I'll have you killed", if I had a gun you'd be dead long ugo", " if I had a bat I'd bash you fing, brains out"! and on and on. This is real and extremely dangerous. I will definitely be moving ASAP. THANK YOU SO MUCH! 😘💖
I went NC finally after 59 years of that behavior. That first year was acceptance that I made the right choice. After I went no-contact then I got educated on narcissism, scapegoating, flying monkey, I had no idea what it was called. Over the years I looked into and worked on my own personal and professional development that came along with my new chiropractic career at age 40. all that resulted in the folks calling me arrogant. .While they sat in front of the tv. Never attended my graduation btw. And since I got that piece of paper, degree I think I’m so much better than the rest of the kids, aka flying monkeys, golden children. My narcissistic parents will never harm me again. I heard that they had to bury their golden child, oldest flying monkey sister age 67 a few months back.
How sad, but how blessed you are. Better late than never. I have a niece who is a full blown Narc, resulting in 2 of her kids as one. The 3 are trapped for life. Thank God for putting their mother to sleep 27 years ago by her husband another Narc murdering her. If she was alive, she'd have slowly died. Narcissism, is of the devil as is ALL diseases.
My old man recently told my sister the reason he is so awful to us is "tough love. I'm there to keep you grounded". Wow. Same thing, wont go to graduations, sneers at new vehicles, told mr to drop out of school, my health problems are "annoyance" on and on and on. I now have kids, and this horrible person has the gall to criticize me. I honestly thought that even he knew he was a garbage father. He ignored us all, restoring old cars and swilling beer with friends. When I point out that he knows nothing about us he says "well, those are not my interests". He loves my older brother though, because he had a failed marriage and prefers alcohol and muscle cars to his own children. But I'm a loser for buying my kids musical instruments because " no one in the family plays music". I've been playing guitar for 30 years have been in bands and am on CD's. It is my passion. Yet It never happened.
@@saltpeter7429 my accident go to his little kid‘s birthday partyies because it didn’t interest him it was boring I said that’s what you do for your kids when you love them it’s not about you. I didn’t notice that that was a problem years ago I just thought he was a selfish jerk. I’m gonna mask fill off when I got sick I learned a lot he used me to get where he was in my dad and my dad was still friends with him after he threaten my life and coerced the attorney into me to drop the charges what was it and do I didn’t have a job my dad told me I should stop working on my brother was found dead because my mom couldn’t babysit my daughter it’s a hot mess of hell. I’m glad it’s over and I have a lot to do though divorced gonna be three years still working on Learning all I can about these sickos
Thank you for this helpful and healing session. My father is a covert narc and my younger sister is a malignant narc. You can imagine the situation I'm dealing with at the moment. I thank God that you have created this helpful and healing channel. May He bless you more than He has already done.
When a narcissist serves us from time to time over the years we can expect that help to end as soon as they are offended by a criticism. Their service to others is based on how much praise and supply they are getting out of it. They bank their good deeds and expert continual adulation from doing the good deeds. When we have a complaint about how they are doing something, even if it is just asking them to change the way they are doing it they will rage and stop helping anymore. This tells me that their help was supply and not genuine caring. I sense that all the happy words and good deeds were fake without real concern for others.
I think everybody’s getting little confused here in the number one fear what the human being is death this is a number one. People are human and they’re gonna fear their and mortality is Dr. came in tomorrow and said you were gonna die that would be devastating news to you probably even need therapy to deal with this. I don’t think this is a narcissistic trait for sa I think maybe what she saying it’s an extreme concern because again everyone cares about their own mortality. I think this is more pertinent for the Narcissistic cares about the way they look but I’m not an expert what do I know I just know in psychology from studying at the biggest fear and human beings deaths were there in mortality so that’s common. It’s just not a good indicator that somebody’s a narcissist nor is being obsessed with their luxe I know some people that care way more than normal but they’re not narcissistic. I know narcissist that are not good looking and wrinkled all over but they play the good guy and it’s a covert type of narcissism. I think many narcissistic people get looked past because people are looking for this stereo typical model.
Fantastic analysis and you really nailed it on their pathetic behavior. My adopted mother is 94yrs old. Her lashings and judgements literally spew from her abusive tongue. She snarled at me for the last time about 2 yrs ago. I have never felt freer since cutting off all contact. My 67yrs have been hellish. Me, my husband, 7 children & numerous grandchildren are never good enough in her eyes. Her son is her caretaker. They are mirror images of each other. I wish them well, but I'm through trying to please her.
My ex narricisst is 60 and very immature like a child and said he hasn't grown up yet it takes time unbelievable shocked a grown man would say something like that immature behavior always playing the victim I'm in recovery healing rebuilding my life
They get even more hateful and blame others for their wrong doings. Ignore the beasts they don’t deserve recognition! Let them suffer from their mistakes and do not look back! Be happy and go on with your life, not theirs.
I know I'm loving your video ! Vengeance is mine says the Lord our GOD .. AND now every Hellbound Narcissi st gets just what they Get!! 👍 So , Throw that Wretched human in a home and god go live.
OMG!!! I was just about to ask about their bigotry. I'm seeing this part of her personality with more frequency as of late (daily, actually). While she's always been bit of a colorist and classist, it's worse as of late. I'm not sure if the presence of my Father had helped me get past this part of my Mother's behavior when I was growing up. But now, the b.s. is intolerable. Her behavior is off the charts. And I have no tolerance for it -- and don't mind calling her out at every turn. And my refusal to hear the b.s. -- let alone agree with the b.s. -- has been the cause of quite a few days of "the silent treatment". Of course, I've learned to make a vacation of those moments of "silence".
Spot on. Mum definitely a nightmare atm. I'm 60 and I'm in lockdown with 81 year old mum. I'm her carer as she was diagnosed with vascular dementia several years ago. I'm in hell. All her resentment is at me. She even started physically attacking me now during her ever increasing rages. My poor dad tries to pacify her as she screams she's she's not happy and being ignored. She's a mad mad woman
I get exhausted trying to figure them out, I just want to heal my wounds so I can stop all the hate that I have from betrayal and try to trust people again. It's such a heavy dragging feeling.😣😟
This explains my husbands ex to a T. She is still trying to make our lives miserable and she is still trying to alienate the children. She’s only 46 and the amount of plastic surgery, injections and rage she is exhibiting is unbelievable. Thank you for posting.
Thank you so much for this video.. My father is a nightmare to deal with and a classic malignant narcissist. He is 80 years old and last year tried to marry a 30 year old illegal immigrant from El Salvador to give him his nardacisstic feed. Nightmare situation.... The Dr. Phil show even called about it.
I needed to watch this video due to the fact my Mother in Law was your malignant narcissist. She passed in 2018 but she also made some of her wrongs right, I still couldn't be around her, her energy was always thick and vile, when I was younger I had it out with her, she knew better than to pull her crap on me because I was on her like a fly on you know, I wouldn't allow my children alone with her, she did so much damage to her two sons it took yrs for them to understand she wasn't normal by any means. So thank you, you confirmed everything I knew and witnessed.
I love this one 👌🏾❤️. Really timely for me because I am with an ageing Narcissist. Sometimes you maybe surprised to know know what age constitutes an ageing Narcissist......the madness starts at an age lower than you think .
So true! And we call that senility. But it ain't. It is what they do since childhood but when they are old they don't mix it anymore with commun sense, because they lack the energy.
They become '' Pathetically desperate ! '' ... Their supply starts drying up as they age and they begin to starve . Pathetic describes them perfectly . Thank you Jill for another perfectly spoken video . Like me and many others , you are a real survivor ... and i thank God for that . Praying for all those who are struggling to find a way out . Your videos are a big help . Thanx for sharing :)
😳thank you. Just found the description of my husband. It cannot be more accurate than you presented. My eyes 👀 were getting bigger with every statement and so were my ears from listening so hard… ❤️🙏
Thank You for this educated video. My 82 year old narcissist Mom lives with me and my wife, and also our 12 year old son. Every Holiday gets ruined all the birthdays and special occasions, she makes everybody on edge. She does have her flying monkeys, and the three of us have been through all the campaign smearing . I have learned the best is no contact thank God for a related living setup. And if there is any communication the grey rock method works the best. I have not talked with her since last Easter of 2022 because she blew up calling me a A-Hole and my wife and son stupid. My Aunt told me years back to be careful around her and don't jump every time she wants you to, and live your life. Alot of people don't understand this and blow it off as some kind of dementia and feel sorry for her. I had issues 30 years ago with the same things, I guess that was dementia too?
Well done! You have described my almost 83 year old malignant narcissist mother perfectly. I recently went 'no-contact' with her mean, petty self, and feel like Forrest Gump when the leg braces came off. I feel free for the first time in more than 50 years! Thank you.
After years of torment and lately violence from a family sibling who is, I know, malignant narcissist, I have cut off all contact with her and I now feel liberated and free.
Great video! You are so right. They become so desperate as they age...I have witnessed this first hand. They were so good at abusing and being in control...they lose it when they can't do this any longer. Rotten to the core... just like a bad apple..x
Feeling sorry for her, especially in her old age as she is getting feeble, knowing she became this way through her own childhood has made it difficult to break away. However, I realize, intellectually at least, it's dangerous to be in relationship with her for my own mental health. Thanks for the video.
I have had a life of one discard after another, 9 "soulmates". Finally at age 52 I woke up. Im 55 now. These guys were all gorgeous. I saw 3 of them, and now they are butt ugly. It is like their inside ended up on the outside. Now, at age 55, i look and feel more handsome than ever. I love it.
Cant wait to hear about this. I heard it and learned so so much. I have left my narcissist husband about 4 times in 2 years. Im 48 and he is 64. He says he changed but every time I go back to him he is a butthole still. Im kinda happy for this information knowing he will always be a butthole. I know that I need a therapist but I haven't went yet. I just didn't want to admit another failed marriage but i believe that it is failed. He was amazing when we met and turned into a different man about 10 years into our marriage. I tried figuring out what happened to him for the next 8 years. I came up with a narcissist. Final answer 💔💔💔💔💔 I don't think he will ever change no matter how much he claims to love me. Thank you so much for the information
I love hearing this. It’s cathartic for me. My mother and I left my narc dad 30 years ago in the most abandoning, epic way. Back then I almost felt bad for him but after listening to this I can see it was perfection. And the fact that he was never able to get back to us. Mmm. Chefs kiss. He told me once about how he went into a deep darkness after that and wrote a paper about it and I read it and I thought “oh so u do know how we feel then.” Ha. I grieve that he was once a precious innocent boy, but beyond that, he has definitely paid a price. And I’m glad for that.
I worked tirelessly for years to heal my codependency. I was finally divorcing my emotionally abusive covert narcissist husband of 25 years - and he killed himself on 12/7, abandoning our two children.
Wow! U nailed it, my husband to a T. Im done after 24 years, now after being at home and secluded, Im stepping out! Im going to get a job, and hopefully fulfill some of my dreams.........4 grown children and 2 step grown children........... 6 grands altogether, but, im done being drained of the life he sucks from me. All of my friends are gone, my family is uncomfortable..........Thank u 4 confirming what i was thinking! Empowerment!
LOVE your hair in this video. It really fits you. Again, I cannot thank you enough for the pearls of wisdom you keep dropping on us. You are appreciated more than you will ever know.
I see this so clearly now. Thank you. Perfect description. I have been trapped by a Narc before. But never again. Not only have I escaped, and gone no contact and am experiencing total indifference to him and his hoovering; I stand back and watch his pathetic desperate behaviour unfold in text book style. 2 months into our ‘relationship’ he abused me with angry tirades. I was so shocked I was in tears and then I had the courage to say No More. He is a 63 year old falling down drunk who says he’s is ugly now. I’ve put him in my phone as Humpty Dumpty. The only reason he is there is because we have mutual friends who have not yet witnessed his paranoid demise. But they will in time. There is no HOPE and I pray anyone watching this who thinks there is will get this one very valid and life saving message.
@@Celt_Downunder be ever so careful of the Hoover. Mine just last week. Handle with care. Use... “I’m sorry to hear that.” “That’s interesting” “I’m sorry you feel that way” “Whatever” These statements stop them right in their tracks to try to lure u in as another supply.
Thank you for this video. It explains my mom's obsession with getting older. She is not accepting aging at all. Anytime she's excluded from anything she thinks it's because of her age and ironically not her narcissistic behavior 🙄. I hate to admit that I have dreaded her becoming dependent on me or my sister as she ages but here we are. I'm praying for some sort of compassion towards her because at this point I don't have much.
I sure needed to watch this video. I feel secure enough about the future because my 4 children are sensible adults and so all I have to do now is encourage and support their parenting and careers. Starting with having extra space in my home too just in case something goes wrong for one of them starting out in their career.
Something I realized is that they will go to the grave unapologetic. Never wait for a sorry, it’s never going to come. Move on.
Also they use Government to PSYOP YOU AKA push their agenda to "test' you as if you were the narcissist and even TH-cam Algorithm or other Tools to villify you as a cover up
Narcissism is prevalent in Military
"The most damaging emotion that a victim can have is....hope." OMG!
Very true hope when you do ......it will be better. Hope when you try .......it will be better. Rinse and repeat
See Spartan Life Coach's video on Hope. Very freeing.
So true brother.
I am a victim of the same and I would like to know how can I support such a person to come out of such problem or how to handle the person as a whole.
@@ealiyammajohnswan5874 you can't please believe me.
Narcissists grow old, but they never grow up.
My mother, husband sister,, brother. All are dead. Self destructed
Omg you hit it on the nail .!!!I call my ex a peter pa 11:34 n cause he's always trying to act like he's a teenager when he's 55 yes old .😅
@@JanieceRileyThey are also called 'baby head'.
That’s correct!✅
@miker4430 Thanks but I didn't coin that couplet. Wish I had!!
You are so right! I divorced my covert ex at age 72. I am now 75, happy and thriving for the first time in my life thanks to helpful therapy videos like yours! God help and bless those who need to get out of narcissistic relationships no matter what age, but especially as they get older!
Oh my gosh. Good for you. I m still eneshed with the aged narc mother but her whole family gang was like that and my brother is worse. It's a nightmare. I am low contact with my mom and no contact with her relatives and my brother
Well done, very inspirational.
why did you wait so long ?
God bless you.
@@cassandrastornoway5445 This seems pretty judgemental. I'm sure it's none of your business and she doesn't have to defend how long she stayed.
Move the heck away and go no contact. Don’t look back and live a new existence without their terrible abusive voice in your head. ♥️
I went no contact with my narcissistic Mother. Best decision ever. I feel free.
You might be interested in Toxic Parents and Mothers Who Can't Love by Susan Forward and It's Not Your Fault by Beverly Engel.
Toxic Children and Daughters who can't love by Every Mother is great too
@@cassandrastornoway5445 I'm sure you're quite right. Toxicity works in all kinds of directions.
Me too. The most toxic evil creature imaginable.
Same here, no contact is the only way
There are many narcissists ending up in Senior residential homes thrown in there where their children and grandchildren are not frequently visiting them. And one wonders why? And the answer is very evident after watching this video. Thank you!
Yes as a geriatric nurse there's a reason there's no family around
My parents were the worst and my sisters kiss there ass
Yes I don’t care when I where they go.
Please don’t assume the old folks abandoned by their adult kids into senior housing are the real narcs in this scenario. Sometimes it is the adult family members who are the narcs, warehousing their mom on the taxpayers dime while they loot and pillage, while abandoning them.
@@isay207 unless their the scapegoat child
Great message, Jill!🌺 So, narcs NEVER change no matter how old they are. What a sad, sad state of affairs.😢 Such a miserable, empty existence.
They become worse due to their brain's ability to reshape itself
@@dontbelongherefromanother right, having a narcissist in ones life is like making friends with terminal cancer. They are death to the spirit, a constant uncontrollable death. The only solution is to walk away and don't look back
They don't know/awknolege they are emty.....it's all about them.
@@errickflesch5565 they know that they’re empty. They know it very well, my ex would always very randomly say my brain is not right. I just thought he was just moping around as usual, but nope he knew he was a sick individual and his whole family knew too, but the goal is to always cover it up.
😂😂😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉
My father has literally destroyed my mental health, and keeps up the abuse, even with no contact, he tries to hurt me when he can. He has gone out of his way to make sure everyone hates me and doesn't speak to me, then he acts like he cares just to get me back into his web. When I caught onto this game (among many), I realized there's no turning back for me. I have no words for this monster.
Same
Pro tip: Narcissistic mothers will take that bitterness, anger, jealousy, greed, ALL the way to the grave with them. You’ll never hear what you need to hear from them. You’ll never ‘finally’ get kindness, apologies, encouragement, gratitude, signs of regret, or any form of love from them. If you can get away before they’re financially and physically dependent on you, DO IT! There’s not one reason to stick around. And know this, as the last attachment can sometimes be an inheritance or something, they’ve already written you out of the will. Just RUN.
I'm having a fight inside me....I'm her only daughter, it's my responsibility to take care of her, she is now 75, but now long can I really handle being her servant and bite my tongue when she disrespects me all day long...all the way to hitting on my husband...trying to get away now and her games are coming right and left
I ran 3 years ago
They do not change if anything their behaviours get increasingly worst. They are a curse on decent people. Bitter and twisted,
Once they get in their 50's/60's/70's, their body doesn't work the way it used to (either menopause or achy joints). They become more negative, bitter, sour, vindictive and controlling, especially if they feel their "power" is being taken away. They suck the life out of the room, and instead of aging into mentors/role models, they become desperate for total control of everything/everyone around them.
Younger people/leaders piss them off, because they begin to realize that time is not on their side: they have one foot in the grave. Dealing with the aging/elderly narcissist is tricky, because misery loves company. They age horribly and rapidly: all of that negativity, hatred, anger, and their need for control eventually catches up with them. Not to mention all of the health issues that are brought on from the stress they put themselves through: it all starts from within.
I recommend keeping your distance respectfully, or zero contact for the truly deranged/malignant ones that can't be reasoned with.
I totally agreed. Stay away. Zero contact.
Do they ever suicide ?
50s are a little young for your list lol
@@dawntreader815 Hardly. Your body at 50 is not the same as 20 or even 30. You're not a spring chicken anymore.
@@MauriceRivers415 I'm actually healthier and happier in 50s and don't see it as "old." Neither do I see 60's that way or even early 70s, doesn't matter they are "spring chickens."I work with true elderly as a professional and just don't see it as you do. Narcs are never happy at any age.
God, you are spot on re: the ageing process, especially for certain men. The key word is pathetic
Individuals, male or female, who rely on their looks and physique(s), eventually ALL age badly, due to their focus on the externals.
Amen 🙏
@@nryane I don’t know that depends I know people that aged pretty good and they took care of themselves and worked out and stop now you’re telling me that all them people throwing that filler in your face and stuff yeah they start looking like crap sometimes I was that thing can go wrong.
@@Portia620 Somatic narcissists are often going to workout to look good especially lifting weights. Remember their narcissism is directed at looking good. I worked with a narcissist who constantly lifted weights. He might have looked good on the outside but was nasty as hell on the inside. Male or female just because it looks good doesn't mean it is good.
There's a misconception that all narcissists are wealthy,beautiful,intelligent....
It's a misconception that they have themselves there are a legend in their own mind
Definitely.
Lol. My bm looks exactly on the outside as she looks on the inside 😂
Yes
Age was not kind to my adopted mother, she was eternally jealous of her mothers looks.
My elderly mother has gotten much worse in recent years. I have had to end contact with her to save my sanity.
Please don’t allow a narcissistic parent destroy your important relationships . That’s their ultimate goal . Understand that narcissists only get worse . My wealthy mother tried to string me along promising me that all that she owns would eventually be mine . She tried to convince me not to pursue a lucrative career . I ignored her. At this point she has probably changed her will.
Narcissists are full of surprises. Never forget that .
I call it the dangling money over your head to control you. Believe me I dealt with it for years because I'm on disability. I would say I'm going to buy a bathroom rug and this person would appear with a rug then go tell everyone they had to help me just to look good for others. I wanted to make my own purchases and go shopping. I could afford a rug even though they made it sound like I couldn't.
I've posted on your channel before and I have to tell you that your expertise on this subject is 200% on the money. On December 13, 2019 after three decades of abusive behavior my divorce was final. So glad to say, Happy Anniversary to me!🦋🦋🐞💐💐
Happy Exaversary l call it!!😀yay...freedom ..after 40 years for me !!! Congrats to you x
@@wendyguymer5327 😂😂Thanks and Congratulations to you as well!!!
Your divorce was on my birthday... Congrats!
Hope you had BETR conditions than my Fri Dec 13th birth was bc my ENTIRE FAMILY was EVIL upon my arrival...
Congratulations 🎉 I hope true love and happiness will find you now. Amen 🙏
This is EXACTLY what is going on with my aging,narcissistic, Ex-Husband!!!He just CANNOT believe that he doesn't get a second look anymore!!!!
call him "fat boy"
@@pauljones5066 lol!
12 years and mine think I'm sick your my wife you have to take care of me he has scleroderma also ànd I Said No he 50 I'm 54 and I didn't even know nothing about this
🤣🤣😂😂😂
Time for grandpa to bite the dust. Safe landings. Rock on girls.
A very articulate explanation of how narcissists decline with age.
Your absolutely right! Having "Hope" in a narcissistic relationship is the most damaging thing to do towards ourselves!
It's a slow motion implosion.
I went NO CONTACT in June 2020 after 8 years of Narc abuse, his lying, physical attacks , put downs, sex addiction . I still didn’t know him after all those years. He said he worked in London 3 days a week , he was with another woman .
I went NO CONTACT in June, I have stayed strong .
NO CONTACT !!!
It’s the only way. Trust me if you really want to be free.
I’ve got 20 years I wish it was only 8 .what evil cruel people .and mate I had no idea he’s a narcissist it took me 20 years to work him out .he’s so cunning and sly oh and the lies .I’ve left him finally .
@@michelleg5371 Wow!
So glad you are finally free!
They are insidious and cunning . They hide it well, my gut instinct was going over time , but so hard to escape. It’s like he holds you down under water then lifts you up again and you are grateful to him and forgiving , that’s how it felt for me.
Be free , Be You, Be happy . Trust your Gut instinct it will ever let you down . All the very best to you 💐✨
@@michelleg5371 it’s taken me 20 years to see through her too. How can we miss that for so long? I feel like a fool 😣
They have separate lives and not always are they GQ or beauty queens! They can be the nice guy that is hell on wheels after the honeymoon stages as they slowly and insidious prepare you for the NIGHTMARES!!!!! I have two kids (I because he picks when it’s confident to play daddy) and both are super traumatized and been in therapy weekly! One has withdrew from 2nd semester of college she is such a mess and it became apparently when she started seeing him again. The pandemic separated them. He was so sad over the divorce he couldn’t talk to him for two months in the middle of a worldwide crisis where you don’t know if you’ll die or your kids will. Actually what he was doing was he had his nose up somebody else’s butt trying to make the deal and seal it she has two children to and it’s very apparent once you know who they are and easy to see through the game when you wake up out of the La La Land they put you in because it is truly brainwashing. I have no doubt I was completely brainwashed I was not in love I was brainwashed!!! It’s overwhelming and a hard pill to swallow when you start seeing everything in the house that he had or did and I found three pairs of scissors he was cutting sheets and things things were hidden it was crazy making constantly. He was always gone and then when he was home it was always my fault for starting the argument. It’s quiet now it’s taking me almost 7 years or eight years to figure this out and I will be divorced when we start a divorce in 2019 it’ll be four years and I haven’t even dated! Best life ever!!! ❤️
@@TheGra325 I will keep asking that question forever...how I missed it for 20 years... ohhh😪
I needed to hear this; I kept thinking my husband was getting worse as he aged. It’s disgusting.
I’ve been divorced for 6 years and I still find myself dealing with recovery over my ex the narcissist. It’s was a horror story.
I'm on year 11 and I can tell you the "PTSD" is real.....I still don't know who I was ever even married to. It's like a "running movie set " that plays in my head all day. Some days? wondering to myself "was the whole marriage" just a LIE?????
@@amandagarcia6320 sadly yes. That was the biggest hurdle for me to get over also was realizing that somebody that I've known since I was 17 years old my first everything somebody that I invested in and cared for didn't give two schitts about me the whole time. His children even less. Im the only one he's ever had kids with, in spite of his many relationships.. Still trying to figure that one out, because children are an anchor. To keep you around. It's been 8 years since the divorce, and happily free. Only God can tell me why. I have no idea. He hates me but keeps me locked in theough lawsuits?
@@TrinketStarz Thank You for taking the time to share this with us. You sound like you're much, much better off without that individual in your life. Good for you for continuing to move forward with your life with courage, self-respect and dignity!
I agree
I’m so blessed that I found Jill on here , she has helped me understand the nightmare I lived with my ex-wife … what I realized is you never stop unfolding the reality of things in the relationship that you now discover because you were constantly kept spinning and gas lighted , it’s unbelievable once the spinning stops how devastated you really are . I don’t know that I will ever really trust again , I hate saying that , I just pray this gets easier. God Bless and stay strong!
I knew my mother was a narcassist when she told me I had a “cheek” for opening a savings account to buy my first home. She’s a covert narcasist so she started threatening me with suicide over text. I’m 23 and we are no longer in contact. My NM has never owned a house so she is obviously bitter rather than happy for me for taking responsible steps
You won't regret it..I waited until I was 56 ...I should have done it earlier...good luck with your house plans...do not go back to her ..xx
This lady has what I call " film star looks."
My moms a Narc. Too.
Thank you for confirming what l have thought for some time I believe the best revenge is success They hate that Also build a good relationship with your children if possible They hate that as well because they Never had that
They're so jealous.
What about when the narcissist in your life does everything in their power to stop you from reaching any of your goals in life? I’ll tell you... you sit there and look back on 20 wasted, empty years and realise you are nothing to them and never were 😔
Yep, I can relate! Dealing with the anger about lost opportunities is tough. I regret not knowing earlier...it sux basically, without redemption. Hopefully still young enough to take this knowledge with me for the future, whatever it may hold
I can also relate. My covert narc father has been holding me back all the time. He only cares about my last born malignant narc sister. He appears in my dreams barging in my house being accompanied by my narc sister and her son. He wants me to support them financially because that's how he was raised by his siblings. But now, I'm employing defiant self love above everyone else. I also stick to the bulletproof boundaries that I have created.
@chronicreader Good for you getting out. And to be able to keep your mind strong enough to come up with an idea to start a business well done. I wonder if have a form of bipolar .?
yea been there... notice it but dident realy believe it ..30 years for me...now 20 years later i realize there was no love just a constant struggle for her to be on top ..its the women ive been involved with after her that made it so clear ,there just so much easier to get on with ..for her a chain of disasters with men ..i realize now she cant love anybody cos she needs to be in control all the time
So sorry to read Graham. I was raised by narcissist mother,,, so of course chose a narcissistic man for a husband... hate to stay, afraid to leave..,meanwhile, years keep slipping away. I mean something to my husband...a paycheque, an audience to listen to his verbal diahharea and a slave to clean up after him... I Don't even remember my dreams and even if I did, I'm so drained and crushed by this person, I don't have the energy.
Pathetic is the perfect word for them. .
Recently got rid of one who is also a pathological liar. Thank God I got him out of my life before he could do any real damage to me or my life. And looks wise, he is no prize. And when you talk about bigotry, you are spot on. And everything bad that happens to them is always somebody else's fault. Whew, glad I dodged that bullet.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Since it's an aging parent, my heart breaks on hearing that they're only going to get worse.
Very accurate. Both my parents are narcissists. Mom is a diagnosed, high level NPD. Dad is covert but won't let himself be diagnosed. They are in their 80's now. I'm on my 50's and was always the scapegoat but don't contact them anymore. They are unbearable to be around because they are hostile, aggressive manipulative and jealous they are towards me because I'm younger. They tried to scare me with endless horror stories of all the health problems (they have) "I will get" when I age. They told me they hope I die before them. They stole my grandmother's estate money from her when they were younger and want my money, tried to manipulate me for it but I refused and let go. I have strong boundaries, which they hate. They hate me because I don't share in their fantasy of thinking they are omnipotent/royalty/superior/whatever. Nope. Mom was always very vain and all about beauty. Dad was all about status. They had money and brilliant careers. Being retired their rich friends aren't around and mom desperately scrounged for supply. They bought a large house and new car then have no money left for other things. I'm doing well and live within my means. They (well, mostly mom but dad too sonewhat) never wanted me to succeed in my career. She sabotaged my education by making dad stop paying for college when I was doing well. She laughed as I struggled to get my education and find off campus housing, telling me I couldn't come home because she wanted her privacy. So I worked HARD. Multiple jobs and taking school too on my own. My career flourished from perserverence. They hate that, too. I was supposed to be her flunkie servant. Nope. They belittled and attacked me every step of the way. I stayed in therapy for the C-PTSD their abuse gave me. Learned to be strong. I've been on my own living away from them since 16. Now I have a nice home and peaceful life. They know that they will be told to leave if they visit and try to start anything. Their hatred is strong yet they smile and come bearing gifts briefly once in awhile. I will talk to them but cannot trust them so I am on guard. They know I will get a restraining order if they attack or abuse so it's just a fake momentary grab for supply then they go back to shunning me again. They shunned and blew me off all my adult life but cannot stand that I no longer care.
KEEP Your Eyes on The PRAYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You might be interested in Toxic Parents and Mothers Who Can't Love by Susan Forward and It's Not Your Fault by Beverly Engel.
Wow. So hard when it's your parents. Glad you saw it and got away
keep up your protection. Cut their control out of your life. DO NOT LOWER YOUR GUARD.
Wow, you caught on young, I wasn't so perceptive.
To add, they die making all around them as miserable as possible. Seen it. Ripping hearts out as their main goal with their last breath. Leave them asap and olan on never looking back. Did that with "mommie dearest" and many others. Save yourself!!!
You are so right.
My father did that prior to his death. He made everyone's life miserable and then complained when we wouldn't visit him. I have his diary so he knew what he was doing, but then again at the same time it was like he was a moth to a flame. He simply couldn't get over himself. I'm sorry but also glad you got your needed separation from your mother.
@@Fenrir-uv9ib Sorry, it is so painful... My mother did the same. When she got the message about her death, one should think she would be better... but not at all.
Blessings 💞
Omg. I am going through crazy shit with my aged mother and abusive riche brother
At the bottom of Dante's inferno, Satan flapping his wings in an attempt to break free of the cocytus is a good analogy.
You look like a movie star today 😘 thanks for your inspiring words
Coolest haircut ever! Mine is a covid cut, raggedy but soon to be amended. Caring for an aging narcissist will shift one's priorities in a bad way!
Just about has the Marilyn Monroe look. Just like a movie star
@@kimsmith819 that is it she really looks like Marilyn Munroe.
That's what I thought. Jill has what I call " film star looks .
@@SilentFigure1 Marylynne was quite plain without the makeup mand hair dye, but this lady has natural good looks. Good cheekbones etc. Doesn't have to dress up to look good.
Absolutely 100% accurately describes my experience. The only way is out or risk your own sanity. For anyone feeling trapped, please seek help as Kim advises.
💯👏👏👏
it is so sad to watch it all unfold and watch them totally fall apart...and yet I know the best thing for me is to stay away...I am not going down with that rapidly sinking ship.
They tell the most lies.Old wicked Satan.
Thank you for this - I am married to an aging narcissist, and this helped tremendously
Have you left yet?
they sold their souls to the devil,and the devil always come to collect its due,
They are the devil.
Exactly exactly 💔😥🤮🐍🚩🚩🚩👹👺💀💀💀👽👽👽
Go Brazil!!! You hit the nail on the head. Seems like narcs are their own worst enemy.
AMEN ! THEY ARE DARK DARK SPIRITS. SCAREY. HEAD FOR THE HILLS & DON'T LOOK BACK !
Brazil, I love how you said, collect "it's" due. That's what I call them, too. An "IT" ! A creature, a monster, a beast, a dragon, an evil spirit, no gender, an "IT".
Thank you Lord for not making me a malignant narc like my aging brother and sister! Amen ❤️
The Lord didn't "make anyone a malignant narc"......the devil is responsible for that.
@@reesedaniel5835 So true!
Thank you
Narcissists rely heavily on their physical attraction, so ageing for them is a nightmare.
The only time my narc displayed any real vulnerability was when the subject of getting older cropped up. It scared the shit out of her.
Narcissists burn bridges with people throughout their lives so when their physical appearance is no longer their trump card they are going to struggle. They are invariably unpleasant individuals whose "personality" is their achilles heal.
Anyway, my ex narc can rot in hell for all I care. May the later decades of her miserable existence be the hell that she deserves.
Not all Narcissists are good looking!!! Just a head up!!!! I was married to a man that was a good guy very covert narcissistic man he was not overt at all and he definitely wasn’t a GQ guy I married him because I thought he was a great guy super sweet thanks to the love bombing and I’m poetry and everything and he was a hard worker and he used me and used my family.
Do they ever burn in hell because it seems like they just move on and trick other people? Mine’s even going to church now
@@Portia620 There are different types of narcissists. My sister is married to a covert cerebral narcissist. He even told her to think of him as the "absent minded professor". That has been his schtick for as long as I've know him. He thinks himself of superior intelligence. He had me fooled. I just thought him a naer do well until I figured out what a cerebral narcissist is. My sister doesn't want to believe it still, yet she is absolutely destroyed and owned by this idiot.
I was married to a covert somatic narcissist and my older brother was this as well.
My oldest daughter is having a problem with that now having recently turned 48. She is continuously taking selfies and telling everyone how great she looks for her age. She’s gone as far as posting that she looks better than some in their 20’s.
Or lord money over you
So true! My 93 year old mother has no gratitude. Never had to work, nagged and embarrassed my Dad and me without mercy.
Now she is in care and we all visit every week, but she tells each of us she has seen no family in weeks. She is delusional and angry most of the time and insisists that the staff steal her property, even underwear, and that none of the other patients want to be friendly. It is very hard to visit, knowing what s in store each time.
My Dad is the same but I live with him. . .
Keep the visits short don’t go in your own x
@@jamalsalim4349 how do you do it?
That is the exact description of my ex who is now 60 - Thank God I was recently discarded after spending almost 17 years with him. A week after I saw a movie where someone was called a narcissist and I began investigating and now EVERYTHING that happened from our first meeting makes so much sense! May he be struck by karma and lightning ...
My experience was so similar to yours. So sorry you had to go through this. Happy to say I met the live of my life at age 60 and he’s not a narcissist, actually he’s a great man and very loving. And I have very healthy boundaries now❤️
I met mine at age 17. Oh they should teach kids in school about narcs. He neatly ruined my life but Thank God he discarded me. 20 years later he shows back up. Located me, I still didn't know about narc abuse ( 2002) thought he matured. Nope same old same old. But this time I'm 51, and he doesn't scare me a bit. Now it's on and he's bleeding money. Even the judge saw through him.
And lightning 😝
I don’t normally co-sign strangers words but for this I’ll make an exception. May karma and lightning strike him twice.
🤣🤣🤣
Definitely, I think to have hope when it comes to narcissistic people is dangerous no matter what age. The hope I had before I discovered what I was truly dealing with has nearly destroyed me. We have to face reality to be able to make the best decisions for ourselves, to be able to heal and move forward.
This video hits the nail on the head so true about aging narcissist have dealt with them OMG
Who says this?
Re: suicide
@@jackiepowell7513 Hi Jackie, I'm not sure. There was a reply to my comment that mentioned it I can't see it here now I'm not sure why that was said.
Let me see, I 'll find it? Not sure?
Thought we could mature gracefully together. After six years I had to call it quits. Our son and I needed stability.
Leaving him was absolutely the right choice ! Seems that I was secretly hoping for his awakening and self realization and we could be that loving family....if only.
I just got away from a narcissist who decimated my self esteem.
He was a decade older than me and use to chip away at me by telling me about the girls he'd dated in the past and how a couple had even been models, he'd call them 'beautiful' and 'supermodel beauty queen types'....then turn around and call me 'attractive'. It was like a knife to the gut, because he was creating a very clear divide between how he saw the girls from his younger years and me, bearing in mind that I'm only 36 and I'm in great shape. I went from being confident to feeling unattractive in 8 months and like I desperately wanted him to see me as beautiful.
Then it all fell into place- he controlled me by keeping me insecure, he was trying to make me feel like I was with someone out of my league by being with him. He had been a very attractive guy in his twenties and thirties, but at 46 his life choices had caught up with him. So to make himself feel better he bragged about the past and whittled down my self esteem.
But now that I'm free of him it's as clear as day, I'm not ugly, he's just got an ugly heart that's full of utter poison.
I left the narca demon the 9th of May. We haven't talked since. He looks terrible & has aged 20 years!
Good for you!,,,,
Because of how wicked they are,they aged in a day. My ex soon needs a wheel chair it's nine months now and he walks bend and is only 54years.
That video was perfect in describing older Narcs. It really does get worse and the word Pathetic describes them to the T. The mask comes off because of their inability to manipulate and control and reality sets in. Thank you so much for your insight and knowledge on an issue that continues to devastate our society.
I’m 61, my narcissistic mom lives with us for health reasons-biggest mistake ever and now, with Covid, we’re stuck. We’ve been away from her 1 day since March. Sometimes I think I’m going crazy!
how old is your mother now...
@@elchhangte dealing with my 84 year old narc father. A horrible person mean vindictive and jealous. Satanic!!!
Get a home nurse if you can
drain cleaner in her cereal...just saying.
You are not legally responsible for her Ive seen people dropped off at hospitals or nursing homes and left there
This is so sad. They will never be happy. Truly happy. No matter what.
You are so right…the last five years of his life became even more filled with rages and temper tantrums which were unpredictable and almost non-stop! After he passed, I finally realized that I was suffering from PTSD that took me several years to overcome.
I can definitely relate. This video helps to understand more about the weird things he does. It is getting weirder by the day. Everyone keeps saying he might be getting Alzheimer’s, but I doubted it. Thank you, this video has been very insightful.
Paige,your pretty smile ☺️ can make the news!
My narcissistic father got really bad as he got older and died of alzcheimers.
My parent got sooooo much worse after dementia.
I have both parents with narcissistic disorder. undiagnosed. I suffered so did both my brothers, one committed suicide while he was still living in their home at 23 years of age. I failed to help him the last year when he needed help because I did not have a therapist. So I have some insight into this area. my advice for anyone going through this is to spend a good year finding a therapist that works for you because you will need one just to touch base with and maintain a stable center for yourself. As a sufferer of narcissistic abuse we are both prone to repeat it and prone to fear a therapist because we feel something is wrong with us. But don’t forgo getting help, you have no idea how much it will help you to have support. One thing I’ve noticed about therapists is that they are better if they have gone through it themselves. But any of them can offer support.
This video was pretty good. I have noticed that a lot of these videos don’t have it all correct. But the videos are a good learning tool. Look for regular people who have gone through it, this is the best therapy. Talk to your siblings about it only if it’s safe to do so don’t talk to them if it causes danger for you or more family rift.
My third tip is don’t take the advice that is floating around out there about no contact. This isn’t true and it’s too extreme unless you feel your life is in danger or your abusive family member is doing extreme psychological damage to you and this usually happens when some other psychiatric illness is present like we could suffer major depression plus be dealing with the narcissistic parent or person. In this case, it could be a good idea to separate for long periods of time if the narcissist is a parent or totally separate if the narcissist is a partner. It depends on the type of tie they have to you and how severe the abuse. For myself, I have found that there is a certain amount of good in our relationship with the bad. And temporary separations work best for me. I will do my duty to them as a daughter but I won’t be a doormat for them.
Thank you…as he aged, we met when he was 60, and ended it when was he 73, he got nastier and nastier. I thought it was my imagination, and frustration with the relationship, however this video validates his downward spiral. Broke, physical maladies, and normal aging, turned this narc into an animal. I did hope until my counselor confirmed he was a narc and no amount of therapy would help. I was just a woman that fell head over heels in love. 😢
Wow gives me hope my older children will see this and come back into my life at some point
Dont be a prisoner to your family. Live your life. Heal your soul. Stay healthy. God will change their circumstances. HE will give you wisdom what to do next.
I have a nearly 40 year old son I have deemed a lost cause. Of my 3 kids he is just as narcissist as his dad. Sad but true. Nothing will dissuade him. Only God can fox tjat and be prepared that not all will see the light.
My mom was a geriatrics nurse for 30 plus years. Narcissistic alzheimer and dementia patients were fascinating.
This rings true. I watched my MN mother (from afar) end up dying alone. Some people would say who were not in the know dementia was why she was acting so violently and poorly, but doctors would say no. She could not keep her lies together; all faults were amplified overshadowing any of the good aspects. It really felts as if she was trying to destroy everyone's life she could before she died even possibly taking a few of us with her. It was a very sad time for my entire family. She had a life of suffering and left sadness and confusion in her wake.
Your post struck a sadness within me, thank you for sharing it, and I wondered how you have felt differently (or if you even have felt differently) now that she is gone.
You nailed my ex right on the head. I thought it was dementia! Thankfully he replaced me with his new supply. Finally at 62, I'm out. Phew. It all makes sense now.
Yeah you’re lucky because she stuck with hell my ex ended up with his brother-in-law‘s younger sister she’s been married twice and has kids from two different men started dating my ex during our divorce you would think she would know better being a social worker she’s about ready to get a PhD in hell. I even sent her flowers for her surgery because you know what I’m so freaking thankful that girl but I just wish she keep them a little busier because he came back to me and he still in my family and my dad‘s friends it’s so messed up!! These people get so in Ashton your family there delusional they need to like get a life
Celebrate your freedom. You made it❤
This was really helpful.
As I approach 70 I've tried to understand why the narcissists I know become hyper critical and even more difficult.
It makes sense they may be desparately struggling to hold onto the last vestiges of their superiority and entitlement.
I am so glad for these videos that give us all the tools to avoid their abuse.
Thank you!
💯
You have just described my narcissistic mother who made hell of my childhood and who I had cut off for most of my adult life. Unfortunately, she is 90 and needs help with many things and I'm the only one who's able to take care of her. She doesn't bother to hide how much of disappointment and disgrace I'm for her. Still hurts 😕
You might be interested in Toxic Parents and Mothers Who Can't Love by Susan Forward and It's Not Your Fault by Beverly Engel.
I hate to hear things like this- my thought is "if I ever needed help would she have?" No....
Nursing Home! And free yourself
Let her rot, she will screw you in the will and "get you" from the grave.
Two words. Nursing home. My mother's nightmare is her own image. The narc sister she groomed, will be picking out her nursing home. My own mother asked me to kill her if she ever went in a nursing home nevermind the legal ramifications for me and how her Golden Child would inherit all she had. That thing didn't give one Whit about me so she can rot as far as I'm concerned. You're more than a saint than I'll ever be that woman disgust me to even think about
My mom started a "sweet old lady" persona...I can see right through her when she takes shots at me
True. My ex is now playing the sweet caring father he never was for 29 years. Grandpa of the centuary. Circus act i laugh at. Vomit. Vomit.
Omg my mom says shady things to me then she oh girl you know I’m proud of you 👏🏽 and love my daughter! I’m like after calling me loud etc she always deflect especially when I say anything about her Golden eggs (her son’s) it’s okay it makes me stronger! Nonetheless I still love her very much she’s good and bad at times especially emotionally!
Narcissistic parent who is jealous of their child’s development
You are describing the malignant narcissist dad of my children.
He sabotages and maligns all of their progress and efforts at becoming independent secure
Happy peaceful and well adjusted
And coercively controls them from pursuing THEIR
Passions and dreams
Been through all that!!! That’s sooo sick! It literarily made me 🤢! And it did. They are stick ,sick,sick people!!! My mom was jealous of me, and she destroyed 2 of my relationships!! Now I am left empty and lost and all my joy is out of me!!! Trying to find the way back! I transformed into a person I never thought I would! Aggressive and sad, empty full of hate sometimes. There even more things I don’t even want to mention!!! Psychopathisch stufff .All the best!!! God bless
@@lonewolf3828
I’m so sorry. It’s beyond imaginable. I too am aggressive and full of anger, but I have decided at this point in my life I cannot do this anymore I cannot live this way. I am going to therapy. I did inherit a depressive Mindset which makes it twice as hard to fight
@@Contessa998 feel you there man!! Thank you for you’re comment!!!!!!! I am in therapy too! God is good more than good!!!
Omg yes. My entire life. ❤️💪🏼❤️
Thank you! What a great video. I have a narcissistic father and now a partner that I'm looking for a way away from. It's making me pysically ill. I'm with a Covert narcissist my first husband was a malignant narcassist and now a Covert snuck in before I knew about narcissists at all. I'm devistated but have come to the realization that I've gotta call it quits. We are middle aged and he's only getting worse. I'm disabled and it's really tricky how I'm gonna do this.
Praying for your way out.
Praying for you to safely escape. I am 72 and have been married 36 yrs to my second narcissistic husband. Didn’t know about narcissism until a few yrs ago either. Only after researching bi polar did I realize that my husband is definitely a narcissist. Anyway they do get worse as they age I believe. My husband will be 69 in April and still works thank goodness but of course he can’t keep working forever. I believe he is a good worker. I am definitely his scapegoat. He rages and carries on then we have Mr Nice Guy that will do some thoughtful things. I should have left a long time ago but now our home is paid for and I am on his health insurance with diabetes and other health issues. So if you believe God is leading you to leave you should do so of course❤️🙏
I've been trapped with one for months now. Thanks, Covid!
Prayers you get free 🙏
Drive him covid crazy Starve him and have fun doing it..Wink ! Stay strong Valerie.. sending you love and light💗 🦸♀️🦸♀️🦸♀️🦸♀️🦸♀️🦸♀️🦸♀️🦸♀️💗
@@terri412 THANK YOU, TERRI!!!
My heart goes out to you. After recently escaping the first week of lockdown, it dawned on me "OMG what about the targets that will be trapped in the shituation?!" Not a day goes by that I don't think of you & the others.
I try to spread awareness on social media.
I didn't go home with my husband and he went full blown and I now have a No Contact with him and he was doing okay then I found a check on the door he was standing on camera about ten minutes and still didn't knock on the doorI'm going to get an order of protection on my husband
Lived many, many years as an empath with a covert narcissist. So thankful for your divine work. It's literally opened my eye's
and probably saved my life.
However, now that I've identifed her as a covert narcissist the monster has really come fourth!
To the extreme point of saying, "I'll have you killed", if I had a gun you'd be dead long ugo", " if I had a bat I'd bash you fing, brains out"! and on and on.
This is real and extremely dangerous.
I will definitely be moving ASAP.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
😘💖
I went NC finally after 59 years of that behavior. That first year was acceptance that I made the right choice.
After I went no-contact then I got educated on narcissism, scapegoating, flying monkey,
I had no idea what it was called. Over the years I looked into and worked on my own personal and professional development that came along with my new chiropractic career at age 40. all that resulted in the folks calling me arrogant. .While they sat in front of the tv. Never attended my graduation btw.
And since I got that piece of paper, degree I think I’m so much better than the rest of the kids, aka flying monkeys, golden children.
My narcissistic parents will never harm me again.
I heard that they had to bury their golden child, oldest flying monkey sister age 67 a few months back.
You might be interested in Toxic Parents and Mothers Who Can't Love by Susan Forward and It's Not Your Fault by Beverly Engel.
How sad, but how blessed you are. Better late than never.
I have a niece who is a full blown Narc, resulting in 2 of her kids as one. The 3 are trapped for life.
Thank God for putting their mother to sleep 27 years ago by her husband another Narc murdering her.
If she was alive, she'd have slowly died.
Narcissism, is of the devil as is ALL diseases.
My old man recently told my sister the reason he is so awful to us is "tough love. I'm there to keep you grounded". Wow. Same thing, wont go to graduations, sneers at new vehicles, told mr to drop out of school, my health problems are "annoyance" on and on and on. I now have kids, and this horrible person has the gall to criticize me. I honestly thought that even he knew he was a garbage father. He ignored us all, restoring old cars and swilling beer with friends. When I point out that he knows nothing about us he says "well, those are not my interests". He loves my older brother though, because he had a failed marriage and prefers alcohol and muscle cars to his own children.
But I'm a loser for buying my kids musical instruments because " no one in the family plays music".
I've been playing guitar for 30 years have been in bands and am on CD's. It is my passion. Yet It never happened.
What is the drug addiction because these narcissist don’t give a crap about their own children
@@saltpeter7429 my accident go to his little kid‘s birthday partyies because it didn’t interest him it was boring I said that’s what you do for your kids when you love them it’s not about you. I didn’t notice that that was a problem years ago I just thought he was a selfish jerk. I’m gonna mask fill off when I got sick I learned a lot he used me to get where he was in my dad and my dad was still friends with him after he threaten my life and coerced the attorney into me to drop the charges what was it and do I didn’t have a job my dad told me I should stop working on my brother was found dead because my mom couldn’t babysit my daughter it’s a hot mess of hell. I’m glad it’s over and I have a lot to do though divorced gonna be three years still working on Learning all I can about these sickos
Thank you for this helpful and healing session. My father is a covert narc and my younger sister is a malignant narc. You can imagine the situation I'm dealing with at the moment. I thank God that you have created this helpful and healing channel. May He bless you more than He has already done.
When a narcissist serves us from time to time over the years we can expect that help to end as soon as they are offended by a criticism. Their service to others is based on how much praise and supply they are getting out of it. They bank their good deeds and expert continual adulation from doing the good deeds. When we have a complaint about how they are doing something, even if it is just asking them to change the way they are doing it they will rage and stop helping anymore. This tells me that their help was supply and not genuine caring. I sense that all the happy words and good deeds were fake without real concern for others.
My narc father is trying to evade the jaws of time. He fears his own mortality, so he's become a super health nut.
I think everybody’s getting little confused here in the number one fear what the human being is death this is a number one. People are human and they’re gonna fear their and mortality is Dr. came in tomorrow and said you were gonna die that would be devastating news to you probably even need therapy to deal with this. I don’t think this is a narcissistic trait for sa I think maybe what she saying it’s an extreme concern because again everyone cares about their own mortality. I think this is more pertinent for the Narcissistic cares about the way they look but I’m not an expert what do I know I just know in psychology from studying at the biggest fear and human beings deaths were there in mortality so that’s common. It’s just not a good indicator that somebody’s a narcissist nor is being obsessed with their luxe I know some people that care way more than normal but they’re not narcissistic. I know narcissist that are not good looking and wrinkled all over but they play the good guy and it’s a covert type of narcissism. I think many narcissistic people get looked past because people are looking for this stereo typical model.
Fantastic analysis and you really nailed it on their pathetic behavior. My adopted mother is 94yrs old. Her lashings and judgements literally spew from her abusive tongue. She snarled at me for the last time about 2 yrs ago. I have never felt freer since cutting off all contact. My 67yrs have been hellish. Me, my husband, 7 children & numerous grandchildren are never good enough in her eyes. Her son is her caretaker. They are mirror images of each other. I wish them well, but I'm through trying to please her.
Jill , I absolutely love your new haircut and style ! Beautiful ❤️
My ex narricisst is 60 and very immature like a child and said he hasn't grown up yet it takes time unbelievable shocked a grown man would say something like that immature behavior always playing the victim I'm in recovery healing rebuilding my life
They get even more hateful and blame others for their wrong doings. Ignore the beasts they don’t deserve recognition! Let them suffer from their mistakes and do not look back! Be happy and go on with your life, not theirs.
I know I'm loving your video ! Vengeance is mine says the Lord our GOD .. AND now every Hellbound Narcissi
st gets just what they Get!! 👍 So , Throw that Wretched human in a home and god go live.
OMG!!! I was just about to ask about their bigotry. I'm seeing this part of her personality with more frequency as of late (daily, actually). While she's always been bit of a colorist and classist, it's worse as of late. I'm not sure if the presence of my Father had helped me get past this part of my Mother's behavior when I was growing up. But now, the b.s. is intolerable. Her behavior is off the charts. And I have no tolerance for it -- and don't mind calling her out at every turn. And my refusal to hear the b.s. -- let alone agree with the b.s. -- has been the cause of quite a few days of "the silent treatment". Of course, I've learned to make a vacation of those moments of "silence".
Old farts are racist AF🙄
@@IvorMektin1701 Exhausting... Truly...
I heard a while back that older people lose their filters..so the racist stuff is just more apparent but not new to them
Spot on. Mum definitely a nightmare atm. I'm 60 and I'm in lockdown with 81 year old mum. I'm her carer as she was diagnosed with vascular dementia several years ago. I'm in hell. All her resentment is at me. She even started physically attacking me now during her ever increasing rages. My poor dad tries to pacify her as she screams she's she's not happy and being ignored. She's a mad mad woman
Please seek help asap! Your comment scares me for your well being! Many blessings and take care!😇🙏❤
I get exhausted trying to figure them out, I just want to heal my wounds so I can stop all the hate that I have from betrayal and try to trust people again. It's such a heavy dragging feeling.😣😟
This explains my husbands ex to a T. She is still trying to make our lives miserable and she is still trying to alienate the children. She’s only 46 and the amount of plastic surgery, injections and rage she is exhibiting is unbelievable. Thank you for posting.
Thank you so much for this video..
My father is a nightmare to deal with and a classic malignant narcissist. He is 80 years old and last year tried to marry a 30 year old illegal immigrant from El Salvador to give him his nardacisstic feed. Nightmare situation.... The Dr. Phil show even called about it.
I needed to watch this video due to the fact my Mother in Law was your malignant narcissist. She passed in 2018 but she also made some of her wrongs right, I still couldn't be around her, her energy was always thick and vile, when I was younger I had it out with her, she knew better than to pull her crap on me because I was on her like a fly on you know, I wouldn't allow my children alone with her, she did so much damage to her two sons it took yrs for them to understand she wasn't normal by any means. So thank you, you confirmed everything I knew and witnessed.
I love this one 👌🏾❤️. Really timely for me because I am with an ageing Narcissist.
Sometimes you maybe surprised to know know what age constitutes an ageing Narcissist......the madness starts at an age lower than you think .
You described my aging bio dad to a tee! God bless you for bringing this to light!
So true! And we call that senility. But it ain't. It is what they do since childhood but when they are old they don't mix it anymore with commun sense, because they lack the energy.
this was great.
in the old days the emphasis was keep the relationship together.
Now we learn, best to go No Contact.
They become '' Pathetically desperate ! '' ... Their supply starts drying up as they age and they begin to starve . Pathetic describes them perfectly . Thank you Jill for another perfectly spoken video . Like me and many others , you are a real survivor ... and i thank God for that . Praying for all those who are struggling to find a way out . Your videos are a big help . Thanx for sharing :)
😳thank you. Just found the description of my husband. It cannot be more accurate than you presented. My eyes 👀 were getting bigger with every statement and so were my ears from listening so hard… ❤️🙏
Thank You for this educated video. My 82 year old narcissist Mom lives with me and my wife, and also our 12 year old son. Every Holiday gets ruined all the birthdays and special occasions, she makes everybody on edge. She does have her flying monkeys, and the three of us have been through all the campaign smearing . I have learned the best is no contact thank God for a related living setup. And if there is any communication the grey rock method works the best. I have not talked with her since last Easter of 2022 because she blew up calling me a A-Hole and my wife and son stupid. My Aunt told me years back to be careful around her and don't jump every time she wants you to, and live your life. Alot of people don't understand this and blow it off as some kind of dementia and feel sorry for her. I had issues 30 years ago with the same things, I guess that was dementia too?
Well done! You have described my almost 83 year old malignant narcissist mother perfectly. I recently went 'no-contact' with her mean, petty self, and feel like Forrest Gump when the leg braces came off. I feel free for the first time in more than 50 years! Thank you.
After years of torment and lately violence from a family sibling who is, I know, malignant narcissist, I have cut off all contact with her and I now feel liberated and free.
I love your new look. Very sophisticated
Sharon Reese Chud,hope you are not with a narc 😈!
@@oscarwilliamson1264 no now. 3 years out
@@sharonreesechud7881 oh ok my dearest 🌹🌷🌷🥀.I'm Oscar Williamson from the States.You?
@@sharonreesechud7881 Which country are you from?
Great video! You are so right. They become so desperate as they age...I have witnessed this first hand. They were so good at abusing and being in control...they lose it when they can't do this any longer. Rotten to the core... just like a bad apple..x
My sister 😢I have been through the abuse and wish no longer to save the relationship. Sappy one minute and evil the next.
Feeling sorry for her, especially in her old age as she is getting feeble, knowing she became this way through her own childhood has made it difficult to break away. However, I realize, intellectually at least, it's dangerous to be in relationship with her for my own mental health. Thanks for the video.
I have had a life of one discard after another, 9 "soulmates". Finally at age 52 I woke up. Im 55 now. These guys were all gorgeous. I saw 3 of them, and now they are butt ugly. It is like their inside ended up on the outside. Now, at age 55, i look and feel more handsome than ever. I love it.
Cant wait to hear about this. I heard it and learned so so much. I have left my narcissist husband about 4 times in 2 years. Im 48 and he is 64. He says he changed but every time I go back to him he is a butthole still. Im kinda happy for this information knowing he will always be a butthole. I know that I need a therapist but I haven't went yet. I just didn't want to admit another failed marriage but i believe that it is failed. He was amazing when we met and turned into a different man about 10 years into our marriage. I tried figuring out what happened to him for the next 8 years. I came up with a narcissist. Final answer 💔💔💔💔💔 I don't think he will ever change no matter how much he claims to love me. Thank you so much for the information
I love hearing this. It’s cathartic for me. My mother and I left my narc dad 30 years ago in the most abandoning, epic way. Back then I almost felt bad for him but after listening to this I can see it was perfection. And the fact that he was never able to get back to us. Mmm. Chefs kiss. He told me once about how he went into a deep darkness after that and wrote a paper about it and I read it and I thought “oh so u do know how we feel then.” Ha. I grieve that he was once a precious innocent boy, but beyond that, he has definitely paid a price. And I’m glad for that.
I worked tirelessly for years to heal my codependency. I was finally divorcing my emotionally abusive covert narcissist husband of 25 years - and he killed himself on 12/7, abandoning our two children.
He has done the children a favor
@@krissmith7500 I hear you and I agree, Kris. One big period of grief now, in exchange for lifetime of disappointment, hypocrisy, and heartbreak.
Wow! U nailed it, my husband to a T. Im done after 24 years, now after being at home and secluded, Im stepping out! Im going to get a job, and hopefully fulfill some of my dreams.........4 grown children and 2 step grown children........... 6 grands altogether, but, im done being drained of the life he sucks from me. All of my friends are gone, my family is uncomfortable..........Thank u 4 confirming what i was thinking! Empowerment!
So relatable. Thank you Jill.
LOVE your hair in this video. It really fits you. Again, I cannot thank you enough for the pearls of wisdom you keep dropping on us. You are appreciated more than you will ever know.
I see this so clearly now. Thank you. Perfect description. I have been trapped by a Narc before. But never again. Not only have I escaped, and gone no contact and am experiencing total indifference to him and his hoovering; I stand back and watch his pathetic desperate behaviour unfold in text book style. 2 months into our ‘relationship’ he abused me with angry tirades. I was so shocked I was in tears and then I had the courage to say No More. He is a 63 year old falling down drunk who says he’s is ugly now. I’ve put him in my phone as Humpty Dumpty. The only reason he is there is because we have mutual friends who have not yet witnessed his paranoid demise. But they will in time. There is no HOPE and I pray anyone watching this who thinks there is will get this one very valid and life saving message.
Thank you! I’m so sorry u went through this. Me, over 14 years! I’m out
@@findingdori6219 I did 8 years with a previous one and thought he was bad. I wonder if they up the anti when they know we are on to them.
@@Celt_Downunder be ever so careful of the Hoover. Mine just last week. Handle with care.
Use...
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“That’s interesting”
“I’m sorry you feel that way”
“Whatever”
These statements stop them right in their tracks to try to lure u in as another supply.
@@findingdori6219 love it.
Thank you for this video. It explains my mom's obsession with getting older. She is not accepting aging at all. Anytime she's excluded from anything she thinks it's because of her age and ironically not her narcissistic behavior 🙄. I hate to admit that I have dreaded her becoming dependent on me or my sister as she ages but here we are. I'm praying for some sort of compassion towards her because at this point I don't have much.
I sure needed to watch this video. I feel secure enough about the future because my 4 children are sensible adults and so all I have to do now is encourage and support their parenting and careers. Starting with having extra space in my home too just in case something goes wrong for one of them starting out in their career.
Pathetic is the best description of them !
Perfectly correct!! 👍🏾👍🏾