I had to laugh... at someone who thinks they get it... but you know they haven't a clue. It is, in my opinion, a fact that no-one who has never experienced it will understand it. Because no-one in my experience believed what I told them. Things so bizarre the nobody believes it actually happened. It took me a while to put all the gaslighting together. dot dot dot
Married to a covert narcissist for 32 years. Lightbulb moment occurred about two years ago. Took me until November last year to leave. It has cost me my home, my children, my pets, my friends, my income, my health - mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. I'm now on medications for extremely high blood pressure. Living with my elderly mother. Seeing a counsellor every week, who told me recently that I still have a long way to go. I'm 61. It's very difficult to start over at my age. Narcissism, especially the covert form, is evil and destructive. It has even left me unable to trust anyone. I used to love being with people. Now I avoid social situations like the plague.
Yea, that sounds about right. But, I can't imagine 32yrs of Lying, Cheating, Gaslighting, Projecting what they know damn well, are false accusations onto you. Starting constant fights w/ you, seemingly out of nowhere, to force you to defend yourself against things that both of you know you're not doing. Until you're exhausted from that topic & off center so that you don't make those same accusations against them. One thing that I'm embarrassed it took me so long to figure out was, every false accusation is a confession. For me, the relationship was exhausting, & draining & like being slowly poisoned. But what I found even more jarring & confusing was the hot/cold shifts that came after our relationship. Basically what she described in these stages.
Yes completely remove them from your life and don't have any kind of communication with them Don't read your emails don't read their texts don't let anybody give you information of what they're doing Given in to finding out what they're doing and what they're saying only continues the negative bondage
Imagine living with a family full of variety of Narcissists since childhood, and then marrying a man for 27 years who was also a narcissist; Living in abusive environment since birth and Thinking of it as A Normal Life And Always trying to find a fault a mistake in myself And Then thinking of it that I deserved it Until now When I saw such informative videos and got to know that what actually was going through 😮 It makes a lot of sense and now I am living in doubts ; maybe it was not like that, Maybe they had good intentions Maybe this Maybe that, But now my family is in other places and my husband has died , and I am feeling less stressed; like life and natural awareness is coming back And I am feeling like There is some empty space where my brain is flowing through; Because the every second pressure and stress in my life , the walking on eggshells is gone And there is no pressure , no stress and anxiety, that I was accustomed to since my childhood and after marriage is left to keep me on earth . I am trying to figure out, how to live like a normal human being not walking on eggshells 24/7 Maybe it makes sense to you people too , what I am trying to say. Thanks for this nice video Thanks Allah that I am alive even after passing through almost all these stages. Take care good people. You are victims and Not abusers And that is best in you Value your life And treat yourself as you treat others with respect and kindness. You deserve your love too😊
@@onlychild4332 your fault??? as long as u have that mindset, you will drag them around, and they will continue to drag you down forever. #1 is education. i have no clue how well educated you are concerning narcissism? education is understanding. the more you understand, the more you can heal. #2 0 contact. as long as you are in contact with them, you are, and will always be, defeating your goals. contact = control.
I hear ya pal, but don't let the reality of such a global display get to you. Some people are narcassisTIC cos they know no better. In my experience, you can rather quickly gauge that by correcting them in some sort of way and also trying to get them to concede some sort of authority, ownership or role. You'll soon see the manson lamps flinch and flicker, the moment you challenge their so called controlled equilibrium. If it's a true "Cist" and not a "sisTic", you'll know. There's some genuine ring leaders who take on the role out of empathy and a wish for order. If they constantly "knee-jerk" in a defensive manner and let any input from you go over their head (deliberatly, with the page 404 look), yeah mate... take your eggs and find a new basket. Jill's right, no point confronting a narcissIST. They don't have the tools to deal with, accept and most definitely, succumb to your wishes or qualms. Make your excuses and move on. In the past, I've deliberately behaved in a way that has made THEM push me away. So much easier.... Literally no come backs on those, to date.
And we should be suspicious- once you been picked by a narc- know you’re narc bait! They’re pretty picky- they like too loving/ too forgiving - understanding too flexible too go the extra mile people!!!
Wow. It's important to never give a malignant narcissist the benefit of a doubt. And any sympathy given to a malignant narcissist is like having sympathy for the devil.
my brother in law is a pastor. always with god in his mouth. he is torturing my sister. he alone holds the supreme truth, no one is better then him, we are all some poor mortals in his eyes, he interrupts constantly when someone is speaking deviating the discussion to him. he needs constant validation. he is very envious if someone has a better car then him, better house. very jealous, he made a big scene in the mall at my sister cause the person at the perfume section was a male and she laugh with that guy and for sure now she wants to fuck the perfume guy. he never say im sorry, its not in his vocabulary. he never makes mistakes only the rest of the people. he polishes his social mask constant. at church everybody thinks he is a very good pastor and a kind human being. only the family knows how he is in his home. if god is on his side, i dont want god to be my refuge but therapy. also awareness, presence, knowledge. god wont help you with a narcissist. in this case it only aggravates. also his daughters record him on the phone how he was yelling at them at abusing verbally with harsh words. i was shocked when i heard the recording that an adult can talk so horrible and violent with a 14 year old girl. but hey, he is a pastor.and btw he pressure my sister to lose all her friends. she has no one to talk to now.
I can tell when people are lying. People aren't as good at lying as they think they are. I just play along and let them think they are fooling me. They will continue to lie and get tangled up in their own lies. Watch them explode when they realize they screwed up.
Yeah I love this one. And then when you calmly point out a contradiction in one of their lies it’s fun watching them squirm and lie more to get out of it
How to make a narcissist suffer forever. You need to destroy narcissist ego and pride. You need to bring them back to reality. And there is a way you can do that. Without harming them directly. And that is by working on yourself. And going back to being the person you were before you got involved with the narcissist. The person that they were attracted to. And then becoming a better version of yourself. If you do that and let them see it, but you reject their hoover attempts. It will destroy their ego. Because they can't deal with rejection. They can't deal with being ignored. Especially if it's from something that they believe they should have. Narcissists find pleasure in breaking you down. They find pleasure in your pain. It gives them satisfaction. So the last thing they want to see is you building yourself up. You being happy. Because what really destroys their ego is when they see that you're not affected by their attempts to destroy you. You're still able to do what you need to do. You're still able to live the life that you want to live. You're still able to laugh and smile. Which means that their efforts have gone to waste. Their plan has failed. They didn't get the result that they were intending for. Because now you're even more successful. You look better than you ever did before. You're in better condition than when they first met you. Which destroys them. Because they remember how good things were back then. That's why they love bombed you. And they would love to have that again. But if they can't, it will crush them. So you don't need to get revenge on the narcissist. You don't need to do anything to them. Just focus on yourself. Focus on your own life. Focus on building yourself up. Making your life better. And don't let them partake in it. Don't let them be a part of it. That is how you do it. All thanks to the cyber expert here on Facebook, username GEORGE CRACKTECH who was able to Spy and investigate on my narcissist partner's phone remotely with his knowledge and get me the information and evidence that I need to gain my freedom from the abusive relationship, contact him here on Facebook username 👉 GEORGE CRACKTECH If you're also suffering from a narcissist partner. Thanks for reading, stay safe 😢.
The narc ex with me made me have a mental breakdown after 2 years of gasmighting, abuse and complete torment.i was in the passenger seat of my moms car and she was messaging me arguing and I snapped and try to hump out the car, my mom had to hold onto me desperately trying to pull me back while the car was swerving and she was able to slow down and pulled me in..I ended up in the mental health ward the very next morning..in the ICU unit...Theyre truly evil and I cry remembering this cause I have QuietBPD and two inoperable brain tumors and I'm disabled so I suffered in silence has she turned everyone against me..then victimized herself telling everyone that I was telling ppl it was her fault I tried to jump out the car after news got back to her...
Unless you've experienced it, it is hard to believe. Someone will literally pretend to hate what is good about you, wreck you with negativity, then mimic all things good about you, all the while telling people lies about you saying you were acting like they were actually being. Unless you have experienced this, you would have a hard time even writing a sentence like the one you just read.😢🙏🏽
Actually the female npd will probably try to build up your image around her cycle but do the opposite to her partners friends and family. If she discards the partner completely then the revelation unfolds to her family and friends also. Remember image is everything to her on her side. She will build up his image around her side in such a way that when the card house collapse it’s not really surprising that he is such a bad person. How did you hold on for so long? 🤦♂️ poor you. Do you need help and support?
When it comes to the smear campaign they are absolutely vicious! It's very hard not to respond as people treat you like you strangled their mother, but that's the challenge set before us. It can be a very lonely experience but remember there are many of us having to deal with this evil. You are not alone.
My mother blamed me for my ex's bad relationship with our eldest daughter ( she was on his side) Trouble was my daughter is really smart and had him worked out
Yes. DO NOT TRY TO CONFRONT OR EXPOSE THEM. I learned this lesson the hard way too. There is nothing to be gained from doing this. Plan your escape quietly and do whatever needs to be done once you are out and a safe distance away. (There is no such thing as complete safety with these folks but the farther away you can get, the better.)
@kathyfoley397 it’s just not worth it. They are who they are and until and unless they are incarcerated or dead, they are going to keep doing what they are doing. That’s why the only solution to this problem is educating ourselves about how to never let these people in our lives in the first place.
The only upside to this is if you see they've been working an agenda against you for a long time but nobody else sees it, if you threaten to expose them they'll ultimately accelerate the process and expose themselves for all to see. You have to know what you're doing but obviously they like hiding in the shadows, but just threatening to expose them they have to turn it up to 11 out of nowhere and then they expose themselves for the crazy nuts they are. Otherwise it'll just be a slow burn. Just rip the band-aid off and rumble. That's where they take it anyway, might as well catch them with their pants down. They can't think straight once they perceive they're on blast. Again, you have to know what you're doing and anticipate going through hell anyway, but you're already going through hell, so keep going. They don't know whether to shit or go blind once they think they're going to be exposed and then they start making really obviously bad decisions which out themselves as a fucking nut. Just threaten to expose them, then don't do anything, let go andet God and the narcissist will do all the heavy lifting exposing themselves to everyone as the asshole they are.
I exposed covert narc sil at church and her flying monkey husband at church, went no contact , there's no point in explaining truthfully if they re strongly deluded and r meddlesome and projecting always
Yes. One mistake of me to confront and expose 😐 when you think they have done you so many vile things and cant go any worse, they will and do! Best is no contact, the hardest for us but fatal to them!
Narcs are vampires. They will feed off what makes you human for as long as possible. If they realize that you know what they are, they will throw all their little vampire tricks at you at once for one last feeding.
This is WHY I lived it out for 45 yrs. He died!!!! Thank God, for my freedom. And my Adult Children are whole, healthy and still close to me. Only by God grace could this have happened. Starting over at 71. Thanks Jill!!❤
Amen I also lived through it for 31 years he died from cancer 4 months after he was diagnosed March 7 2023 he waz 12 years older than me I’m 62 I’m free at last I’m free at last Thank God I’m free at Last
Ill never forget his smirk. I was with my covert narc ex for 8 years, only fully escaped 2 years ago and I'm still traumatized by it all. When i told him i was leaving to a womens shelter because i had noone left in my life who was willing to help me, he gave the most deliteful smile I'd ever seen him give. That smirk revealed a lot.
That smirk or smile is also known as dupers delight. They take pleasure in knowing they have been successful at deception. Bless you...Hope you're in a safe space.
This is 100% a narcissist summed up in less than 20 minutes. I told my mom- "I know I always talk about and try to explain what a narcissist is so watch this one video and you will completely understand what I mean. And anytime you come across a person who gives you a bad vibe think about this video because even if there is a slight possibility they are a narcissist then you need to remember this video and get the hell away from them ASAP".
My mother 100%. A thief, a chronic liar and even her grandchildren know she’s the centre of every drama as she starts it when she’s bored. 65 years old but acts like she’s 12 years old it’s completely insane to watch
Relatable with my mother. Whenever shes not getting enough attention she will pick arguments out of thin air. I will never understand how people will sink that low just to feel in control or centre of attention... can't they just find normal ways of getting attention? .. but that's the trick, they can't find normal ways because they dont feel they possess anything valuable in themself to do so. Dont pity them though they will exploit it
Sounds familiar My ex mother in law was just like this & my ex narc husband was the golden child. Never thought that grown adults can act like such jelouse, selfish spoilt rottern, liars. Thank God I was able to see the light eventually & eject myself from their demonic family dynamics.
The threatenign pose is so real. My soon-to-be ex girlfriend is very tall and slender and when I accused her of cheating she went into a rage and leaned over me, pointing a finger and with a bend in the hip, she looked like a snake. I could nearly see the slit eyes. It was really impressive how the mask fell off.
10:34 ... My girlfriend was married within a year of our relationship ending... Never waste time on anyone that does not respect you on a daily basis ... Life goes by too fast to be put LAST by a lover ...
@@lilfairycupcakeI’m sorry nothing is funny about what they do, it’s just pathetic. They do everything except for the right thing. The right thing being get fixed, like fix their heads in therapy. Nope they believe in work harder not smarter 😂😂😂
Such an accurate description of the narc demon's tactics! There is no way you can be normal or forget having these tactics used against you. All you can do is learn, heal, pick up the pieces of your heart and soul, and move on. 💨
This is exactly what they do Jill, you are SO accurate with absolutely everything you say. People would not believe just how vindictive and disordered their minds are ... it's an extremely horrendous time for the victim. They definitely want to totally destroy your life in every way they can. It's hell on earth. They are terrible people, once they realise the game is up and you've seen through them. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Thank you for putting this information out there. ❤❤❤
Hold your ground!! My friends turned into his flying monkies. I still held my ground!! It was a tough ride. I cried in private .... but i got through it. Physically bullied Car window smashed Smear campaigns I got everything thrown at me! Armour up your self worth!!
I really would like to thank to my covert narc ex-wife for all those 18 years "worth of friendship and loving marriage". I want my 18 years of my energetic youth back. 😠
Yep thats how we feel....years of wasted time effort and money and all for NO thank you's or appreciation at all. We are forced to look forward because looking back only causes us confusion.
@@Samaritan38 Amen to that. Any time we are speaking to someone who just silently stares back at us - theres the first sign you are in the midst of someone possessed.
Same!! Getting out in a year when my kid turns 18, but it will have been 19 married, 20 together at that time! What should have been the best years of my life-WHAT A CROCK OF SCHITT!!
I went through all of these things with my ex. Thank the Lord that He rescued me from all of that garbage. I am blessed now with a wonderful husband for almost twenty years.
Wow! Each and every behavior were spot on. Fortunately, my husband died and it ended. But of course, he left my daughter and I with bills and problems.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
To read your comment gives me hope. Going through that now. I divorced my wife for someone else. I made a mistake. I want to make things right with my wife again. Taking time to heal from the narcisstic abuse of the other woman. She had alot of tactics not mentioned online and that's how I got thrown off from her motives. The guilt trip method was her weapon of choice and penetrated my defenses. I couldn't figure out why I was so depressed and anxious. I let her use my personal secrets against me. She used it to win arguments and it cut too deep. I left the relationship last weekend after her mother started the same tactic on me without remorse. Sad pathetic people.
As you say, a mental ward, a prison or a cemetery! That's the truth of what they want for you! It's so very Sick and shocking that a person who has put you through hell already has this agenda. Please be careful all you women out there, that have ended a relationship with a narcissist. 😢
Yes, I can see it as far easier for women to be trapped by a narcissist due to physical aspects and society norms regarding jobs and raising kids .. the methods used by female narcissists are quite effective but rarely use the physical methods of intimidation if bullying that a female target of a narcisstic receives for that control thing .. but my much older brother did it to me during the convid downtowns even though I’m 65 lbs heavier than him and a former weightlifter . I feel sorry for his ex wife whom I never knew well but I know exactly what she was married to .. my brother .. the malignant overt narcissist with Machiavellian indications .. the most obvious sign that is subtle was his 3 kids rarely if ever visited him and I didn’t see ANY real friends of his .. now that he is aging and no one wants to or needs to be around his evil personality
True, narcs intuitively pick up on the energy shift of others when someone is pulling away from them. They will question them by asking "what's wrong, are you okay? or say things like, you look angry or sad". Some wil go to the extent of commanding you to smile. I've had this happened to me.
Nah what they recognise is that you’re healing and turning your energy onto yourself. That’s why when you start to do self-care and self-love like genuinely from the inside out, they feel this and that’s why the abuse gets worse.
I have so many narcs in my family. I had to move far away and rebuild my life with the new knowledge I have. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just as soon as we get away from the narcs!!
Same man, I changed my name and left the country, but I left the country only to end up in the arms of a psychopath. The thing is you can leave and run from your family, but you still have to do a lot of work so you can be strong enough to tell the narcissists to f-off. Now I have to change my name again, so this psychopath never finds me. It’s life on the run when the world is full of narcs 🏃🏻♀️💨😈👹👺
You sound a lot like my brother who does not want to be near any family members… The funny thing is that HE is a narcissist. Family has offered to go to therapy together but he won’t go.. I’m not saying you are a narcissist but the situation sounds familiar.
@@dmoneydmoney6050 Nah I’m not a narcissist. I’m more of an empath and want us all to try to heal. My family is in no way perfect but no family is. He manipulates to be a victim. Do You??
@@Harambes_Homeboyman cut it! I also went no contact with my narcissist family before I end up like my mom. I left behind my narcissistic family and the enablers. Never look back. Narcissists usually don’t leave their family of origin most times the family enables them. If anything you may be the narcissist and you’re brother got the hell up out of there from yall crazy folks😂😂😂
I have a narcissistic sister who has destroyed my image so much in the minds of our relatives that they all think I am a monster and a murderer. Finally, I just got away from all of them.
Very true. She left me without the kids, house. She had no issue just kicking me out of my home. Heartless is an understatement. Now I got her to let me stay in the garage while I find something. It was good seeing my kids again.
Be very careful and make sure to document everything! Expect false allegations, against her and the kids. You must document and take precaution. Don't make the mistake to think it's over or that you know her.
JT please be very careful. It’s very possible this person may try to set you up though to get arrested. for the sake of all of you, it’s best to get a divorce and try to come up with a visitation schedule to see your children as much as possible.
If you go through the comments there is a distinct pattern that victims of narcissists refer to their abuser as being evil, demonic, possessed & being spiritually vile because they're genius's at bringing out the primitive & dark self destructive side to our inner self. A narcissist's selfishness & need to control while also appearing to be the martyr will make it absolutely necessary that they stoop to a level that they lie in court , lie to the authorities & lie to anyone else in your life & then sit back & revel in the tormented behaviour we exhibit when their "use & then abuse" tactic gets force fed in our face. That's why even though we know deep down that the narcissist literally wants us to suffer from mental illness , lose our freedom , or have us be so overwhelmed with despair that we die , we have to remind our selves that the narcissist is nothing more than a obnoxious infant in an adults body that has no redeeming qualities & by continuing to take care of ourselves & genuinely continuing helping others (it's alright to take some time to heal first & get some personal positive momentum going again if necessary first) the narcissist will fail at making us into our own worst enemy.
This deeply resonated with me within the first minute of the video. “The reality is, narcissists and sociopaths are acutely aware when there is an energy shift within us, or when we start to pull away. Even if we are trying to make it seem as if everything is fine, they can usually tell.” Narcissists are particularly astute at noticing when individuals begin to grasp their manipulative ways. This heightened awareness stems from their accustomed expectation that others will unquestioningly submit to their desires and viewpoints out of fear. They figure out that their deceit and manipulation are falling flat when we no longer play along, make excuses for, or tolerate every toxic thing they say or do. Even if we start speaking up a bit or sharing our thoughts instead of blindly following their every word, they take it personally. They are overly sensitive and notice even the smallest changes, interpreting them as attacks. If they can't immediately put you back in your place, they see you as an enemy.
You fight or you die in their crazy world of your torment . Keep busy so to have an excuse of distancing from such people . And when they do not see you it is a good alibi for your disconnection from them just as they use such incidences for their backwardness that you do not see from them they say they were so tied up with work where you were not present to see their witchery .
My ex wife is 100% this . Everything you said, she did. I never thought I could allow myself to be used and abused as much as I was. I’m still trying to get my life back. And trying to maintain steady contact and communication with my now grown children has been a challenge. She fully used me and then used my children as pawns in her game. She told me “I will destroy your life” and other such control tactics. I tried to get away from her in the beginning too. She pursued me , seduced me, locked me down and tried to ruin me. And still my children’s well being and best interest are all I’m concerned with . I am 54, good looking, and have a career. However I will not date at all until I know my children are fully grown and in solid shape. My life turned tragic when I fell under the control of a covert narcissistic psychopath with tendencies of manipulating people and using violence or virtue signaling to get her way.!
My weirdo new coworker was being icky nice. Offering his home to sleep at because he lived close to the job, trying to buy me lunch, and fishing for compliments. I distanced myself and he didn’t catch the hint he asked me out. I told him no I dont want to ride on your motorcycle, he asked if I had boots to ride so he could take me to a restaurant his friend said was nice. I told him no and walked away. I went to my car and he walked up to my car and said we can take his car instead. I told him I do t want to go nowhere with him in any fashion. He said I was only trying to be nice. Next day he brought me food and a valentine card. I told him I don’t want it. He ignored me and started describing what he cooked for me. I yelled and said I don’t care I don’t want it, leave me alone. He said don’t be like that. I told him he’s being creepy I don’t want nothing from him. He walked to his car. Then came back to my car and told me. He doesn’t date his co workers and he was only trying to be my brother in Christ 🥴. He then said he hopes I get the help I need😩. I reported him and that was the last day he worked with me.
That's nuts, as the other commenter said. Next time, be very clear, don't send "hints" just tell them that it's very kind to them, but you're not interested in them. I know, I'm a guy, and we are usually very bad at getting hints, good ones, or bad ones. If you are uneasy, tell them directly at the start. It might save you a lot of troubles. I told my daughter these things, too. She was in a similar situation few years ago, since she didn't want to be rude, she tought the guy would get her hints, but some guys take these "stop it" hints as "try harder" hints.
I feel sorry for young men today that are going to get married to a woman that is a covert narcissist. He thinks she loves him, he thinks she is going to be loyal, he thinks he picked a good one, like I thought. Once the amount of babies she wants, the mask falls off. She starts cheating, disappearing and preparing to get his last dime by using the family court system. He does not know what a covert narcissist even is. He will learn the way I did.
Dear Sir I agree. I was once 27. I'm now 42. She was a vulnerable person who had a bit of depression. Liar. Since her childhood she has been in and out of psychological referrals. So many prior relationships. So many victim scenarios. Routinely faked pregnancy in several relationships . How stupid was I, thinking she wouldn't do the same to me. She set me up good. Financially abusing me by dragging me through family court over false allegations that I psychologically abused our son, totally disproved in court. But the court allowed her to rummage through her history and come up with any previous argument we had that she set up inthe past. She is calm and cool while she plans on hoe to destroy you and smear you . Very long story, can't write it here . But. You sir are right. I defended her to everyone who told me she was very cold and calculated. I protected her from the supposed abusive ex husband and ex boyfriends. She set up confrontation between me and them.. What a fool I was. Chivalrous, brave, loyal. All towards the wrong. In the end I am actually lucky, I learned about my own faults, my family of origin. And how to be the stronger better version of myself, for me and my son - who I hope will escape her insane controlling home one day.
My narcissistic mother did all these things to me. I would give this video a thousand likes so people can be aware and learn how to protect themselves. I sending people to this video! Much love to you, Jill. Thank you!
13:00 My family of origin has set my openly hacked my phone for years. I finally went off about it and I was told to stop hacking my own phone. It's hard not to take the bait when it happens every day. Like you say, they want to trap you make you look like the crazy one. At this point, I'm not really too worried about their fellow haters or their opinion of me that they're putting on a show for. This is what keeps me semi sane in all this madness that they're imposing on me
Thanks to your advice and that of others , I carefully planned my exit, left in secret and went dark , communicated solely through lawyers . This protected me from his threats and intimidation. Thankfully no children were involved, and because of his carefully crafted business and social reputation he did not try anything illegal. However I wasn’t totally spared , his smear campaign was viscous but I survived that .
That smear campaign! Its one of the most evil things they do imo - you can never roll back all those lies. I often wonder at how much potential is ruined by the vicious, lying narc.
I am exactly going through the end stages of the goal of these people. I have had every single thing that you’ve talked about done. In a mental hospital, prison or a cemetery… all of the above. They exhibit 💯of these characteristics and believe that is what I deserve. They are stalking me even here in my social media sites that I follow. I’m isolated and they are still trying to achieve their goal of me being in a mental hospital, prison or a cemetery. I was homeless for a year and managed to pull myself up and secure ( tenuous) employment and a place to live. I’m so grateful for a few people believing me and finding therapists like yourself here. Anyway thank you and your followers who share their stories with us…
This is really an eye-opener going through this garbage all right.....I'll be out in the street soon.....this person even deletes these little comments that I make.... I hope this message gets to you before it's deleted in 2 seconds have a good day good luck to you all
One word of advise - never give benefit of doubt and don’t play nice - you have to be ruthless. I regret not getting the police involved when my ex was stalking me. I was too nice and the abuse just got worse. You have to fight fire with fire.
He's already dead in the eyes and hearts of our children, and I did everything possible to prevent that. He brought this on himself. If God is with me, who can be against me?
Beloved, Whether in your life or not continue to pray for them. May the Lord God bless you and preserve you. In the mighty, matchless name of Jesus✝️🩸🕊🤍🪽🗡🙌🪔
Jill knows her stuff this is a very dangerous time to be in protect yourself and your sanity at all cost don't play into their games I truly hope that blessings love and light finds it's way back into the lives of those who have endured these kinds of horrible and heartbreaking things from people. great video Jill.🌟❤💞
BELIEVE IT OR N O T?!! YES, YES I DO BELIEVE EVERY SINGLE WORD, FROM THIS TAPE! WHAT'S WRONG, AGY? YOUR A NARCISST TO? YOUR SPYING, WHAT ARE THE DOCTORS REVEAL OF NARCISSISTIC NARCOS?! ++ JEALOUSSY - CURIOUSNESS - AND EGOISM IS THE MOS SELFDISTRUCTING EMOTIONS PUT TOGETHER,AND YOU'VE GOT THEM!!
So much to comment on here. Everything Jill says here is absolutely true. I found one of the most amazing things is that the NARC tells everyone about HERSELF when she is telling them about "things you did". She could take everything that she did to me, and tell everyone those are the things I did to her. Nothing she did in eight years of illusion was more confusing to me than that. Nothing she ever said or did pulled me more out of reality than being blamed for things that she did. Amazing. I paid all her bills, and she would come back at me as if she was the one who was "being used"...and on and on...the NARC is a very whacky and evil entity. Run away. Thank you for all you do Jill!
Yes - they don't make allegations, they make confessions. The truth will come out eventually - its just a pity it doesn't dissolve all those vicious. damaging lies told about us.
@@wayneelliott1180 Isn't it bizarre how they act? We must remember that everything about them is fakery. Yep, the smearing and lies are extremely difficult for us to hear and not be able to do anything about. The NARC is a very bizarre creature. Thank you for your comment!
@@mvbigmagic4048 Thanks for your post! What you wrote is absolutely true. Its amazing to learn how they operate. If only we understood this the day we met them. Thanks again for your post. People are learning about these NARCs because they read our comments!
My narc is withholding my daughter from my court ordered weekend parenting time and I have to video record our in person interactions for my protection against false accusations.
I thank Jesus i am away from my husband (working on divorce). My son is a narc as well and these points are on point. May God continue to give us wisdom, support and favor❤.
Wow! You are spot on with everything. Your words touched my soul. I'm going to take heed to ALL your recommendations. God is using you and your story to save lives. Thank you!
Wow Jill. You are totally spot on! So many of us targeted exes have gone through everything you so very articulately highlighted. Your videos are very helpful and validating.
12:41 To me, the worst part about it is the LOST TIME. Effort, work, facts. They absolutely twist reality. At a base, each one of these creatures is a hollow shell with no heart. 🤢🤙🏻💯
That last part about permanent address: I direct all of you to watch “The Invisible Man”. It’s required viewing for all of us!! We MUST outsmart THEM!!
I made the mistake of building my house next to covert narc mil. She was so wonderful when I met her.... fast forward 11 years (about 9 being terrible) and we're selling our house. Mil has slandered me to everyone in town, my inlaw family, everyone we know. Everything is my fault apparently. She's accused me of fraud, being a criminal, stealing from her, etc. I wish I could have just slunk away in the night to avoid all this but it's so complicated living next door. It has been 3 months of hell. Guilt trips, slander, verbal and emotional abuse etc. We are closing in 10 days and plan to go no contact forever. Our son deserves so much better, in fact so do my husband and I. It's scary how charming these people start off as. She said everything I wanted to hear.
Leah, I was in the same type of situation as you, only it was my father, who was a malignant narcissist. I lost 25 pounds being his round the clock caregiver when he had a terminal illness. I was gentle, kind, patient with him, and I did everything for him. He died 15 years ago and I haven't recovered yet from his abuse. He had hundreds of ways to hurt me and make me look bad. He told my 43-year-old nephew nephew, also a narc, that I was hitting him (not true), the nephew then called Adult Protective Services and I was investigated for "elder abuse"!!!!! Of course the case was closed when they found out what kind of person I really am, but the damage had been done, because the nephew and my father's narc 82-year-old "girlfriend" told everyone in town that I had been investigated for Elder Abuse. I was with him 20 hours out of every day when he was sick, I'm the one who drove him to all of his doctor's appointments, to dialysis three times a week, cooked for him, etc., etc., and I was in the house making his lunch, when I heard him on the phone telling my cousin who had called from out of state, that he hadn't seen me for years, that I had moved, and that he had no idea where I was. (She had asked about me.) My father got some kind of sick joy out of imagining how I would feel when I discovered things of mine missing. I have been looking for some precious photos of mine that had been in my personal photo albums for years. Just last year, 14 years after he died, I went to England to visit cousins of mine (I live halfway around the world in Washington state), and over in England, they pulled out some photos that had been in my photo albums, that my father had sent to them years ago, photos of me and my friends, and photos of me when I was a happy little girl. My father had taken a lot of them and sent them to various people around the world, without me knowing it, and I don't know who all has my pictures. These were all pictures that no one else would be interested in, my father just wanted to steal something from me. I have NO photos of me as a child, he got rid of all of them. He knew that my mother and I had been close, she had died 14 years earlier, and he got rid of every single photo of my mom that he had in his house, without me knowing it. She was also abused by him. I feel like I want to write to as many people as I can think of, that might have my photos, and ask them to send them to me. He sent people pictures of me and my friends to people who never even knew ME ! I want my pictures back. I have my father's ashes, he was cremated after he died, and I feel like taking a ferry ride and giving him a "burial at sea". It's an hour long ride across the water to another town, and I feel like taking all of his ashes in a plastic bag, going to the side of the big ferry, leaning over the side, and just letting all of his ashes fall into the water and out of the bag (I wouldn't let the plastic bag fall into the water). It's salt water out there, so the ashes would eventually get washed out to sea. I don't think my father really cared where he ended up after he died, but he thought that he was going into a niche at the cemetary where my mom is, the person he abused for 48 years. If I decide to throw his ashes into the water, and I pretty much already have, no one would ever know, as no one in 14 years has asked me where he is "buried", except one friend of his, that was 13 years ago, and I just never answered his question, and he didn't pursue it. Also, I checked, and giving him a burial at sea would be totally legal. It would be my way of getting him out of my life, not that the trauma of his abuse is ever going to go away. This one man who wanted to know where my father is buried also wanted me to send him my father's military records (I don't have them and have never seen them). My father was in the Marine Corps for only two years, and his friend wanted his military records, because apparently my father gave him the impression that he was out fighting in the Pacific Theater during World War II. His friend told me that "he must have seen a lot of fighting, because he doesn't like to talk about it much". I said nothing, but I thought, "Yeah, my father doesn't like to talk about being in World War II and fighting in the Pacific, because HE WAS NEVER THERE!!!" He never did any fighting, in fact, he never left the continental United States! I kind of wonder if his friend wanted his military records to see if my father had been telling him the truth about being in World War II. Malignant narcissists! They are so hurtful, dishonest, and mean. Heaven help us all. 😢😢😢
@@JT0007 Thank you so very much for your reply. It makes my day to know that there are people out there who are on MY side, because my father's flying monkeys are still everywhere. I didn't tell my father's friend (Randy) that he was never fighting out in the Pacific Theatre. I didn't like him, either, so I didn't really want to communicate with him. Randy thought that my father could "do no wrong", and he also had a case of what is called "toxic positivity". But I think I will tell him. I think he still has the same email address and lives at the same place. So, you were a Marine. Thank you for your service! That must have been quite an experience. I see that you put the British flag at the end of your reply. Were you born there? I love the UK, I was there just ten months ago for a month. I have a lot of British cousins on my mom's side, in London and other places in the UK. Have a great weekend!
@@galaxy98765 I just love my heritage but nope! I live in NorCal So what are you doing with your dad’s ashes? How about you give them to your family member? When my dad dies…if I had his ashes…ok my dude, come grab them before I dump them. 🫡🇺🇸🇬🇧 😉
I'm smiling because I won and she lost. My mother failed to make me a victim, crazy or dead. My brothers are not as lucky. Best thing is that it's been 5 years and I know she's declining. She has over mortgaged her house for the 5th time and as I'm no longer available to help with her finances, she will probably lose the house! It's been 6 years of no contact but I believe that others may start to see that I am not the abuser. I am the successful one. Actually, I don't care anymore what they see. Including my father who is just waiting to die. Good luck to them I wish them all well. I'll be over here being a survivor. 🏝😎
I am the same. I don't care anymore what happens to them, or what they see of me. Their opinions of me don't matter. They're not paying me. They're not an influence in my life anymore. No contact since January 27, 2024, after off and on low-contact since 1999. Narcissists only GET WORSE with age. It's terrifying! No contact is survival.
I woke up after 7 months and realized I was with a Covert Narcissist. After my research I decided to play with him. I watched him play the game and for sure he is Textbook. I was amused by the entire game. I future faked with him and then I Ghosted him exactly what he did to me. Then Blocked him for 2 months. I really didn’t care because this exactly what he planned for me. He F with the wrong one. We weren’t together that long so no common friends or close family involved. The addiction is real though. It’s getting better everyday and I just stay NO CONTACT!
This cycle describes my entire childhood. I saw through my mother from a very young age. I would stand up to her, call her out and try to reason with her from the time I was four. So things were hell for me but I keep doing even knowing that it made things worse because it was the right thing to do.
Do not tell them anything too personal about yourself, because they will use it against you in ways you could never imagine. I learnt that the hard way Oh and the narc rage is something else
I have been watching videos and trying to learn about this type of person for about 8 years now. And I must say this is one of the best videos I have seen on narcissism. It's amazing how much they are all alike. They all do basically the same things. It's insane.
I suffered under 4 narcs....husband: his mother: a so-called friend: and my father........all wanted to totally destroy me.......but finally I survived, and now understand the pain they put me through was because of their sickness and not mine!
Damn lady you're scaring the shit out of me! I took an ex back after 20 years now just find out that she's a malignant narcissist. Now that I'm older and can recognize weird behaviors I'm starting to get shook. We've only been back together about a year and a half and I've never been more regretful about anything I've ever done in my life! The constant Jabs and swipes at me trying to belittle me and saying weird things like you know women on menopause always kill their husbands is starting to really freak me out. She is the mother of my adult sons and we do have grandchildren l hoped to have a normal grandparent grandkids relationship with. I want her gone but she has nothing and nowhere to go I can't just put my son's mother out on the street. I've never felt more stuck in all my life.
Thank You so much, im currently in a 11 month ongoing divorce process from a covert cheating coward, its very clear he wants me destroyed. These people are ruthless, if they are even human!?? 🤷♀️
100% accurate .The stages are exhausting and I’ve been through it with two female relatives. When you are a sensitive and caring person, they hone in on your positive vibes immediately. The second time I really kept my distance but the hovering didn’t stop. Both of these narcs have never had successful relationships or married. In both instances the goal seems to be wanting me divorced. My lightbulb moment came when both tried to go after my kids asking for their phone numbers. Just mind blowing. They follow these stages to a T.
Wow! This is spot on!! Exactly everything that I went through with my ex husband when I left him. I got my life together and better than it was, and managed to get cleared of all allegations eventually, and survived, and the kids have disowned him. But I still have a dreadful reputation from his smear campaign. It’s unfair because it’s all lies.
Phew , listening to you , some 15 years after leaving a narcissistic marriage , I realise how text book the behaviour was . Im grateful I'm still here tbh.
Every single word is what I experienced with the 60years old textbook narcissist its really mindblowing accurate. I always had in mind he might be a narc during our 5 years relationship so I was prepared for the lightbulb moment and ended the relationship immidiatley by acting mental ill, depressed and not good enough for him knowing when his toy is broken he will go looking for a new one. It is a quite safe way to leave so I can recommend thus. They will smear you either so what.
I was raised by a narcissist. I'm 41 now, and just realizing it. It Explains a lot of my responses and demeanor. I have a long road ahead of me for recovery, but st least I know to look for pot holes and other hazards...just have to make repairs to what has been damaged.
Do not try to speak about this to anyone that has not been through it. It will be extremely invalidating.
It’s like talking in a foreign language to a person who doesn’t understand.
Agree, people who haven't experienced it first hand won't get it.
I had to laugh... at someone who thinks they get it... but you know they haven't a clue. It is, in my opinion, a fact that no-one who has never experienced it will understand it. Because no-one in my experience believed what I told them. Things so bizarre the nobody believes it actually happened. It took me a while to put all the gaslighting together. dot dot dot
Yes yes yes true people think that you make this stuff up. Even professional people if they’re not Familiar with this kind of behavior be careful
❤❤❤❤
They avoid, " accountability " like its a plague.
Truth is like poison to them
Perfect video. My husband has all the above mentioned, it's been 8 yrs now and it's getting worse by the day.
True oh. Exactly my husband.
He would choose the hardest lie to the easiest truth.
Truthhhhhh!!!
Amen to that... Truth and criticism of any kind... They can't take
Married to a covert narcissist for 32 years. Lightbulb moment occurred about two years ago. Took me until November last year to leave. It has cost me my home, my children, my pets, my friends, my income, my health - mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. I'm now on medications for extremely high blood pressure. Living with my elderly mother. Seeing a counsellor every week, who told me recently that I still have a long way to go. I'm 61. It's very difficult to start over at my age. Narcissism, especially the covert form, is evil and destructive. It has even left me unable to trust anyone. I used to love being with people. Now I avoid social situations like the plague.
I'm truly sorry this happened to you! What was the "lightbulb moment" you speak of, if I may ask?
the worst part is not knowing. the more you understand narcissism, you see the picture clearly, and just how screwed up they really are.
I'm so sorry you went through that. What would you tell a young unmarried woman in this situation?
get busy David [jobs/hobbies ,both] this strategy worked for me,do not sit and stew
Yea, that sounds about right. But, I can't imagine 32yrs of Lying, Cheating, Gaslighting, Projecting what they know damn well, are false accusations onto you. Starting constant fights w/ you, seemingly out of nowhere, to force you to defend yourself against things that both of you know you're not doing. Until you're exhausted from that topic & off center so that you don't make those same accusations against them.
One thing that I'm embarrassed it took me so long to figure out was, every false accusation is a confession. For me, the relationship was exhausting, & draining & like being slowly poisoned.
But what I found even more jarring & confusing was the hot/cold shifts that came after our relationship. Basically what she described in these stages.
No contact is the key to happiness.
That is what I had to do. It took me a while to decompress. My situation was only for a short time. Now I have peace.
I mean she’s not contacting me anyway so I guess it’s a win
Yes completely remove them from your life and don't have any kind of communication with them
Don't read your emails don't read their texts don't let anybody give you information of what they're doing
Given in to finding out what they're doing and what they're saying only continues the negative bondage
3 years no contact with the first one
With technology today, it's hard to have no contact order with him.
Wow. You are one of the few who actually discuss how DANGEROUS these non-people really are. It’s NO JOKE - they ARE dangerous.
Half the USA 😂😂😂😂😂😂where the doctors 😮
ive known many. stupid yes, dangerous no.
@@lilfairycupcakeExactly they are stupid.Its even easy to see through there lies.
Imagine living with a family full of variety of Narcissists since childhood, and then marrying a man for 27 years who was also a narcissist;
Living in abusive environment since birth and
Thinking of it as A Normal Life
And
Always trying to find a fault a mistake in myself
And
Then thinking of it that I deserved it
Until now
When I saw such informative videos and got to know that what actually was going through 😮
It makes a lot of sense and now I am living in doubts ; maybe it was not like that,
Maybe they had good intentions
Maybe this
Maybe that,
But now my family is in other places and my husband has died , and I am feeling less stressed; like life and natural awareness is coming back
And I am feeling like
There is some empty space where my brain is flowing through;
Because the every second pressure and stress in my life , the walking on eggshells is gone
And there is no pressure , no stress and anxiety, that I was accustomed to since my childhood and after marriage is left to keep me on earth .
I am trying to figure out, how to live like a normal human being not walking on eggshells 24/7
Maybe it makes sense to you people too , what I am trying to say.
Thanks for this nice video
Thanks Allah that I am alive even after passing through almost all these stages.
Take care good people.
You are victims and Not abusers
And that is best in you
Value your life
And treat yourself as you treat others with respect and kindness. You deserve your love too😊
@@onlychild4332 your fault??? as long as u have that mindset, you will drag them around, and they will continue to drag you down forever. #1 is education. i have no clue how well educated you are concerning narcissism? education is understanding. the more you understand, the more you can heal. #2 0 contact. as long as you are in contact with them, you are, and will always be, defeating your goals. contact = control.
This experience has left me permanently suspicious of anyone who appears to be any kind of ring leader.
The vast majority of leaders are.
I hear ya pal, but don't let the reality of such a global display get to you. Some people are narcassisTIC cos they know no better. In my experience, you can rather quickly gauge that by correcting them in some sort of way and also trying to get them to concede some sort of authority, ownership or role. You'll soon see the manson lamps flinch and flicker, the moment you challenge their so called controlled equilibrium. If it's a true "Cist" and not a "sisTic", you'll know. There's some genuine ring leaders who take on the role out of empathy and a wish for order. If they constantly "knee-jerk" in a defensive manner and let any input from you go over their head (deliberatly, with the page 404 look), yeah mate... take your eggs and find a new basket. Jill's right, no point confronting a narcissIST. They don't have the tools to deal with, accept and most definitely, succumb to your wishes or qualms. Make your excuses and move on. In the past, I've deliberately behaved in a way that has made THEM push me away. So much easier.... Literally no come backs on those, to date.
a Narcissist will wet the Bed and blame the mattress. 😮
@@RalphSmith-cj5he Hey! If the mattress wasn't so rigid... MAYBE the the wet bet would have different odds?!
And we should be suspicious- once you been picked by a narc- know you’re narc bait! They’re pretty picky- they like too loving/ too forgiving - understanding too flexible too go the extra mile people!!!
Wow. It's important to never give a malignant narcissist the benefit of a doubt. And any sympathy given to a malignant narcissist is like having sympathy for the devil.
Said perfectly! If they're not Satan himself, they certainly have been recruited by him and in fact his spawn
💯
They are demons and that's all I can say.
Even when it is your 51 year old son! It’s like living in hell!!
I agree totally!
I pray Father God over all of us dealing with Malignant
Narcissists. God alone is our refuge.
I have been praying for deliverance for my family member. God is the only one who can deliver them. 🙏
Amen en amen 😢
He has saved me from attempts to unalive me. No doubt. Miracilous!
my brother in law is a pastor. always with god in his mouth. he is torturing my sister. he alone holds the supreme truth, no one is better then him, we are all some poor mortals in his eyes, he interrupts constantly when someone is speaking deviating the discussion to him. he needs constant validation. he is very envious if someone has a better car then him, better house. very jealous, he made a big scene in the mall at my sister cause the person at the perfume section was a male and she laugh with that guy and for sure now she wants to fuck the perfume guy. he never say im sorry, its not in his vocabulary. he never makes mistakes only the rest of the people. he polishes his social mask constant. at church everybody thinks he is a very good pastor and a kind human being. only the family knows how he is in his home. if god is on his side, i dont want god to be my refuge but therapy. also awareness, presence, knowledge. god wont help you with a narcissist. in this case it only aggravates. also his daughters record him on the phone how he was yelling at them at abusing verbally with harsh words. i was shocked when i heard the recording that an adult can talk so horrible and violent with a 14 year old girl. but hey, he is a pastor.and btw he pressure my sister to lose all her friends. she has no one to talk to now.
@@Anlonn preachers are among the 1st to hit the pit. 😊
I can tell when people are lying. People aren't as good at lying as they think they are. I just play along and let them think they are fooling me. They will continue to lie and get tangled up in their own lies. Watch them explode when they realize they screwed up.
Lies: Fluttering eyelashes, the psychopth stare, or anger eyes/eyebrows just prior to screaming or running away to hide & plan.
Funny when you have all the receipts to their lies.
🎤 dropped ❤️🙏 x
@@TargttdGma😂spot on 😜🙏♥️
Yeah I love this one. And then when you calmly point out a contradiction in one of their lies it’s fun watching them squirm and lie more to get out of it
Yeah, they are crazy. As soon as they know you figured them out they will do everything to ruin your life if you confront them
Only the ones who have been with a narc can understand how perfect they are with changing your mentality. A true torture that would break anyone
How to make a narcissist suffer forever. You need to destroy narcissist ego and pride. You need to bring them back to reality. And there is a way you can do that. Without harming them directly. And that is by working on yourself. And going back to being the person you were before you got involved with the narcissist. The person that they were attracted to. And then becoming a better version of yourself. If you do that and let them see it, but you reject their hoover attempts. It will destroy their ego. Because they can't deal with rejection. They can't deal with being ignored. Especially if it's from something that they believe they should have.
Narcissists find pleasure in breaking you down. They find pleasure in your pain. It gives them satisfaction. So the last thing they want to see is you building yourself up. You being happy. Because what really destroys their ego is when they see that you're not affected by their attempts to destroy you. You're still able to do what you need to do. You're still able to live the life that you want to live. You're still able to laugh and smile. Which means that their efforts have gone to waste. Their plan has failed. They didn't get the result that they were intending for. Because now you're even more successful. You look better than you ever did before. You're in better condition than when they first met you. Which destroys them. Because they remember how good things were back then. That's why they love bombed you. And they would love to have that again. But if they can't, it will crush them. So you don't need to get revenge on the narcissist. You don't need to do anything to them. Just focus on yourself. Focus on your own life. Focus on building yourself up. Making your life better. And don't let them partake in it. Don't let them be a part of it. That is how you do it.
All thanks to the cyber expert here on Facebook, username GEORGE CRACKTECH who was able to Spy and investigate on my narcissist partner's phone remotely with his knowledge and get me the information and evidence that I need to gain my freedom from the abusive relationship, contact him here on Facebook username 👉 GEORGE CRACKTECH If you're also suffering from a narcissist partner. Thanks for reading, stay safe 😢.
The narc ex with me made me have a mental breakdown after 2 years of gasmighting, abuse and complete torment.i was in the passenger seat of my moms car and she was messaging me arguing and I snapped and try to hump out the car, my mom had to hold onto me desperately trying to pull me back while the car was swerving and she was able to slow down and pulled me in..I ended up in the mental health ward the very next morning..in the ICU unit...Theyre truly evil and I cry remembering this cause I have QuietBPD and two inoperable brain tumors and I'm disabled so I suffered in silence has she turned everyone against me..then victimized herself telling everyone that I was telling ppl it was her fault I tried to jump out the car after news got back to her...
14yr relationship Now 3 years into my individual mental recovery
Facts
Unless you've experienced it, it is hard to believe. Someone will literally pretend to hate what is good about you, wreck you with negativity, then mimic all things good about you, all the while telling people lies about you saying you were acting like they were actually being. Unless you have experienced this, you would have a hard time even writing a sentence like the one you just read.😢🙏🏽
Happened to me.
Me too.
Actually the female npd will probably try to build up your image around her cycle but do the opposite to her partners friends and family. If she discards the partner completely then the revelation unfolds to her family and friends also. Remember image is everything to her on her side. She will build up his image around her side in such a way that when the card house collapse it’s not really surprising that he is such a bad person. How did you hold on for so long? 🤦♂️ poor you. Do you need help and support?
@postalaka So sorry. Thank goodness for support. 🙏🏽
@melody5683 So sorry. Thank goodness for support. 🙏🏽
When it comes to the smear campaign they are absolutely vicious! It's very hard not to respond as people treat you like you strangled their mother, but that's the challenge set before us. It can be a very lonely experience but remember there are many of us having to deal with this evil. You are not alone.
My mother blamed me for my ex's bad relationship with our eldest daughter ( she was on his side) Trouble was my daughter is really smart and had him worked out
@Ann-eb8dp They are excellent at turning you family against you...He got to your Mom..😢
Yes. DO NOT TRY TO CONFRONT OR EXPOSE THEM. I learned this lesson the hard way too. There is nothing to be gained from doing this. Plan your escape quietly and do whatever needs to be done once you are out and a safe distance away. (There is no such thing as complete safety with these folks but the farther away you can get, the better.)
@kathyfoley397 it’s just not worth it. They are who they are and until and unless they are incarcerated or dead, they are going to keep doing what they are doing. That’s why the only solution to this problem is educating ourselves about how to never let these people in our lives in the first place.
The only upside to this is if you see they've been working an agenda against you for a long time but nobody else sees it, if you threaten to expose them they'll ultimately accelerate the process and expose themselves for all to see. You have to know what you're doing but obviously they like hiding in the shadows, but just threatening to expose them they have to turn it up to 11 out of nowhere and then they expose themselves for the crazy nuts they are. Otherwise it'll just be a slow burn. Just rip the band-aid off and rumble. That's where they take it anyway, might as well catch them with their pants down. They can't think straight once they perceive they're on blast. Again, you have to know what you're doing and anticipate going through hell anyway, but you're already going through hell, so keep going. They don't know whether to shit or go blind once they think they're going to be exposed and then they start making really obviously bad decisions which out themselves as a fucking nut. Just threaten to expose them, then don't do anything, let go andet God and the narcissist will do all the heavy lifting exposing themselves to everyone as the asshole they are.
agree,move away ,tell nobody if you can
I exposed covert narc sil at church and her flying monkey husband at church, went no contact , there's no point in explaining truthfully if they re strongly deluded and r meddlesome and projecting always
Yes. One mistake of me to confront and expose 😐 when you think they have done you so many vile things and cant go any worse, they will and do! Best is no contact, the hardest for us but fatal to them!
Narcs are vampires. They will feed off what makes you human for as long as possible. If they realize that you know what they are, they will throw all their little vampire tricks at you at once for one last feeding.
This is WHY I lived it out for 45 yrs. He died!!!! Thank God, for my freedom. And my Adult Children are whole, healthy and still close to me. Only by God grace could this have happened. Starting over at 71. Thanks Jill!!❤
Amen I also lived through it for 31 years he died from cancer 4 months after he was diagnosed March 7 2023 he waz 12 years older than me I’m 62 I’m free at last I’m free at last Thank God I’m free at Last
Me too! He died 6 months ago of a brain tumour. Freeeedommmmm ❤
Freedom is beautiful even by death
Wow! It's also the story of Abigail in the Bible! I'm at 36 yrs with narcissist
Our Heavenly Father SMILES onto you!!!
Ill never forget his smirk. I was with my covert narc ex for 8 years, only fully escaped 2 years ago and I'm still traumatized by it all. When i told him i was leaving to a womens shelter because i had noone left in my life who was willing to help me, he gave the most deliteful smile I'd ever seen him give. That smirk revealed a lot.
To much information. Say nothing. They love victims. Avoid. Silence.
That smirk or smile is also known as dupers delight. They take pleasure in knowing they have been successful at deception. Bless you...Hope you're in a safe space.
Mine does this grin as well
Had friend,mom,a lot of moms boyfriends, godfather do that stupid dust bucket smirk,I hate it
Take care beloved!
They may threaten to harm themselves. Pity Party is another tactic, they'll cry, emotionally manipulate to get you back. They're truly messed up.
its a very disturbed form of psychosis. they know right from wrong, everything they do is by choice. a normal person has a hard time understanding it.
Like oj
While destroying you, they have the nerve to "play victim" at every opportunity while manipulating everyone around them.
@@dawnsites4232their twisted mindset is unreal.
Damn, I experienced that.😮
This is 100% a narcissist summed up in less than 20 minutes. I told my mom- "I know I always talk about and try to explain what a narcissist is so watch this one video and you will completely understand what I mean. And anytime you come across a person who gives you a bad vibe think about this video because even if there is a slight possibility they are a narcissist then you need to remember this video and get the hell away from them ASAP".
And they make sure they say "they never wanted to divorce" but push you not only to do it but "hurry up" and do it.
My mother 100%. A thief, a chronic liar and even her grandchildren know she’s the centre of every drama as she starts it when she’s bored. 65 years old but acts like she’s 12 years old it’s completely insane to watch
Take her to local church build community she can tell her sad story's there they will fix the root
Relatable with my mother. Whenever shes not getting enough attention she will pick arguments out of thin air. I will never understand how people will sink that low just to feel in control or centre of attention... can't they just find normal ways of getting attention? .. but that's the trick, they can't find normal ways because they dont feel they possess anything valuable in themself to do so. Dont pity them though they will exploit it
@@TammBiancno. She'll convince them vs her child
Sounds familiar My ex mother in law was just like this & my ex narc husband was the golden child. Never thought that grown adults can act like such jelouse, selfish spoilt rottern, liars. Thank God I was able to see the light eventually & eject myself from their demonic family dynamics.
100% my mother too. Compulsive liar, attention seeker, divider and conquerer, martyr, hollow apologiser, perpetual victim. I'm done with her.
The threatenign pose is so real. My soon-to-be ex girlfriend is very tall and slender and when I accused her of cheating she went into a rage and leaned over me, pointing a finger and with a bend in the hip, she looked like a snake. I could nearly see the slit eyes. It was really impressive how the mask fell off.
10:34 ...
My girlfriend was married within a year of our relationship ending...
Never waste time on anyone that does not respect you on a daily basis ...
Life goes by too fast to be put LAST by a lover ...
I learned this in “so-called” friendship.
marry quick, before the mask falls off. surprise!
Man I felt this. Respect on a daily basis feels like a pipe dream at this point.
@@robertchadallison hell, the masses have a hard enough time respecting ones self, let alone others.
@@lilfairycupcakeI’m sorry nothing is funny about what they do, it’s just pathetic. They do everything except for the right thing. The right thing being get fixed, like fix their heads in therapy. Nope they believe in work harder not smarter 😂😂😂
Such an accurate description of the narc demon's tactics! There is no way you can be normal or forget having these tactics used against you. All you can do is learn, heal, pick up the pieces of your heart and soul, and move on. 💨
This is exactly what they do Jill, you are SO accurate with absolutely everything you say. People would not believe just how vindictive and disordered their minds are ... it's an extremely horrendous time for the victim. They definitely want to totally destroy your life in every way they can. It's hell on earth. They are terrible people, once they realise the game is up and you've seen through them. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Thank you for putting this information out there. ❤❤❤
I can feel their fake tears coming down. Excellent Job Mrs. Wise!
Hold your ground!! My friends turned into his flying monkies. I still held my ground!! It was a tough ride. I cried in private .... but i got through it.
Physically bullied
Car window smashed
Smear campaigns
I got everything thrown at me!
Armour up your self worth!!
I really would like to thank to my covert narc ex-wife for all those 18 years "worth of friendship and loving marriage". I want my 18 years of my energetic youth back. 😠
Yep thats how we feel....years of wasted time effort and money and all for NO thank you's or appreciation at all. We are forced to look forward because looking back only causes us confusion.
@@noverguy Never make dealings with the devil.
@@Samaritan38 Amen to that. Any time we are speaking to someone who just silently stares back at us - theres the first sign you are in the midst of someone possessed.
Same!! Getting out in a year when my kid turns 18, but it will have been 19 married, 20 together at that time! What should have been the best years of my life-WHAT A CROCK OF SCHITT!!
I want my 22 years back 😔
I went through all of these things with my ex. Thank the Lord that He rescued me from all of that garbage. I am blessed now with a wonderful husband for almost twenty years.
Wow! Each and every behavior were spot on. Fortunately, my husband died and it ended. But of course, he left my daughter and I with bills and problems.
Nice of you to spit on his Grave .
He killed her in life tho. Only fair
sounds like he deserved it ❤@@ceasarwright7567
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
Good luck!
To read your comment gives me hope. Going through that now. I divorced my wife for someone else. I made a mistake. I want to make things right with my wife again. Taking time to heal from the narcisstic abuse of the other woman. She had alot of tactics not mentioned online and that's how I got thrown off from her motives. The guilt trip method was her weapon of choice and penetrated my defenses. I couldn't figure out why I was so depressed and anxious. I let her use my personal secrets against me. She used it to win arguments and it cut too deep. I left the relationship last weekend after her mother started the same tactic on me without remorse. Sad pathetic people.
scam
@@neohermitist Are you calling PeterWilliams6361 a liar? Please support your claim with some detailed evidence.
This woman is so on point. She just literally described my 8 year marriage. She left me penniless and turned my son against me.
They are pure evil
So accurate! 💯 Viewers listen carefully.
As you say, a mental ward, a prison or a cemetery! That's the truth of what they want for you! It's so very Sick and shocking that a person who has put you through hell already has this agenda. Please be careful all you women out there, that have ended a relationship with a narcissist. 😢
Men too.. Narcissists come in all forms
Yes, I can see it as far easier for women to be trapped by a narcissist due to physical aspects and society norms regarding jobs and raising kids .. the methods used by female narcissists are quite effective but rarely use the physical methods of intimidation if bullying that a female target of a narcisstic receives for that control thing .. but my much older brother did it to me during the convid downtowns even though I’m 65 lbs heavier than him and a former weightlifter . I feel sorry for his ex wife whom I never knew well but I know exactly what she was married to .. my brother .. the malignant overt narcissist with Machiavellian indications .. the most obvious sign that is subtle was his 3 kids rarely if ever visited him and I didn’t see ANY real friends of his .. now that he is aging and no one wants to or needs to be around his evil personality
Dealing with this currently with a woman
All you women? I've been in a relationship with a severe covert narcissist for the last 3 years and it's been utter hell.
It’s all genders……..
True, narcs intuitively pick up on the energy shift of others when someone is pulling away from them. They will question them by asking "what's wrong, are you okay? or say things like, you look angry or sad". Some wil go to the extent of commanding you to smile. I've had this happened to me.
So true.
@@anneyoung2310boss just did this today, accused me of being weird and now asking me why I am not parking by him.
Nah what they recognise is that you’re healing and turning your energy onto yourself. That’s why when you start to do self-care and self-love like genuinely from the inside out, they feel this and that’s why the abuse gets worse.
@@talktothehand2012why you’re not parking by him? They are insane😂😂😂
I have so many narcs in my family. I had to move far away and rebuild my life with the new knowledge I have. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just as soon as we get away from the narcs!!
So true!
Same man, I changed my name and left the country, but I left the country only to end up in the arms of a psychopath. The thing is you can leave and run from your family, but you still have to do a lot of work so you can be strong enough to tell the narcissists to f-off. Now I have to change my name again, so this psychopath never finds me. It’s life on the run when the world is full of narcs
🏃🏻♀️💨😈👹👺
I divorced most of my family 20 years ago because of their narcissism.. now, my goal is to outlive them all!
You sound a lot like my brother who does not want to be near any family members… The funny thing is that HE is a narcissist. Family has offered to go to therapy together but he won’t go.. I’m not saying you are a narcissist but the situation sounds familiar.
@@dmoneydmoney6050 Nah I’m not a narcissist. I’m more of an empath and want us all to try to heal. My family is in no way perfect but no family is. He manipulates to be a victim. Do
You??
good for you - I know your life is peaceful
@@Harambes_Homeboyman cut it! I also went no contact with my narcissist family before I end up like my mom. I left behind my narcissistic family and the enablers. Never look back. Narcissists usually don’t leave their family of origin most times the family enables them. If anything you may be the narcissist and you’re brother got the hell up out of there from yall crazy folks😂😂😂
@@DaughterOfGod247 I’m telling you he’s a narcissist. He’s in therapy for it which is good 👍. You dont know us so to throw accusations is hilarious.
The we’ll never admit the truth.
I have a narcissistic sister who has destroyed my image so much in the minds of our relatives that they all think I am a monster and a murderer. Finally, I just got away from all of them.
It can be a hard move, but its the wisest. They will continue to feed the lies, but they can't manipulate you if you are absent.
@wayneelliott1180 Thanks for replying. Yes, it is almost 10 years that I have been absent
Very true. She left me without the kids, house. She had no issue just kicking me out of my home. Heartless is an understatement. Now I got her to let me stay in the garage while I find something. It was good seeing my kids again.
Hey watch out for the set ups! She will manufacture situations to get you either abusing her or the kids!! Watchout!!!
Be very careful and make sure to document everything! Expect false allegations, against her and the kids. You must document and take precaution. Don't make the mistake to think it's over or that you know her.
Yes, document everything and remain vigilant. I can only imagine how heart breaking it is for you to be in that situation.
JT please be very careful. It’s very possible this person may try to set you up though to get arrested. for the sake of all of you, it’s best to get a divorce and try to come up with a visitation schedule to see your children as much as possible.
🫂
Based on my observation, they will still try to contact you but they will still make you feel invalidated and dismissive
If you go through the comments there is a distinct pattern that victims of narcissists refer to their abuser as being evil, demonic, possessed & being spiritually vile because they're genius's at bringing out the primitive & dark self destructive side to our inner self.
A narcissist's selfishness & need to control while also appearing to be the martyr will make it absolutely necessary that they stoop to a level that they lie in court , lie to the authorities & lie to anyone else in your life & then sit back & revel in the tormented behaviour we exhibit when their "use & then abuse" tactic gets force fed in our face. That's why even though we know deep down that the narcissist literally wants us to suffer from mental illness , lose our freedom , or have us be so overwhelmed with despair that we die , we have to remind our selves that the narcissist is nothing more than a obnoxious infant in an adults body that has no redeeming qualities & by continuing to take care of ourselves & genuinely continuing helping others (it's alright to take some time to heal first & get some personal positive momentum going again if necessary first) the narcissist will fail at making us into our own worst enemy.
Correct it’s terrifying but keep the full armor of God on at all times
Your opinion on infants is very weird 😰
@@sevenseconds8652 It's a common descriptive analogy by mental health professionals that narcissists are like children in an adults body.
This deeply resonated with me within the first minute of the video.
“The reality is, narcissists and sociopaths are acutely aware when there is an energy shift within us, or when we start to pull away. Even if we are trying to make it seem as if everything is fine, they can usually tell.”
Narcissists are particularly astute at noticing when individuals begin to grasp their manipulative ways. This heightened awareness stems from their accustomed expectation that others will unquestioningly submit to their desires and viewpoints out of fear.
They figure out that their deceit and manipulation are falling flat when we no longer play along, make excuses for, or tolerate every toxic thing they say or do. Even if we start speaking up a bit or sharing our thoughts instead of blindly following their every word, they take it personally. They are overly sensitive and notice even the smallest changes, interpreting them as attacks. If they can't immediately put you back in your place, they see you as an enemy.
You fight or you die in their crazy world of your torment . Keep busy so to have an excuse of distancing from such people . And when they do not see you it is a good alibi for your disconnection from them just as they use such incidences for their backwardness that you do not see from them they say they were so tied up with work where you were not present to see their witchery .
My ex wife is 100% this . Everything you said, she did. I never thought I could allow myself to be used and abused as much as I was. I’m still trying to get my life back. And trying to maintain steady contact and communication with my now grown children has been a challenge. She fully used me and then used my children as pawns in her game. She told me “I will destroy your life” and other such control tactics. I tried to get away from her in the beginning too. She pursued me , seduced me, locked me down and tried to ruin me. And still my children’s well being and best interest are all I’m concerned with . I am 54, good looking, and have a career. However I will not date at all until I know my children are fully grown and in solid shape. My life turned tragic when I fell under the control of a covert narcissistic psychopath with tendencies of manipulating people and using violence or virtue signaling to get her way.!
I am going thorough this with my mother and sister. It is still shoking the lenght they can go in their abuse towards me.
Narcissists are the children of two devils, two vampires, or any combination of the two.
Facts! Well said 😂😂😂😂
My weirdo new coworker was being icky nice. Offering his home to sleep at because he lived close to the job, trying to buy me lunch, and fishing for compliments. I distanced myself and he didn’t catch the hint he asked me out. I told him no I dont want to ride on your motorcycle, he asked if I had boots to ride so he could take me to a restaurant his friend said was nice. I told him no and walked away. I went to my car and he walked up to my car and said we can take his car instead. I told him I do t want to go nowhere with him in any fashion. He said I was only trying to be nice. Next day he brought me food and a valentine card. I told him I don’t want it. He ignored me and started describing what he cooked for me. I yelled and said I don’t care I don’t want it, leave me alone. He said don’t be like that. I told him he’s being creepy I don’t want nothing from him. He walked to his car. Then came back to my car and told me. He doesn’t date his co workers and he was only trying to be my brother in Christ 🥴. He then said he hopes I get the help I need😩. I reported him and that was the last day he worked with me.
OMG. That's NUTS.
That's nuts, as the other commenter said. Next time, be very clear, don't send "hints" just tell them that it's very kind to them, but you're not interested in them. I know, I'm a guy, and we are usually very bad at getting hints, good ones, or bad ones. If you are uneasy, tell them directly at the start. It might save you a lot of troubles. I told my daughter these things, too. She was in a similar situation few years ago, since she didn't want to be rude, she tought the guy would get her hints, but some guys take these "stop it" hints as "try harder" hints.
Reminds me of my crazy ugly neighbour
you handled it perfect you are probably an empath and you felt it from the beginning always trust your gut aka the instinct
I feel sorry for young men today that are going to get married to a woman that is a covert narcissist. He thinks she loves him, he thinks she is going to be loyal, he thinks he picked a good one, like I thought. Once the amount of babies she wants, the mask falls off. She starts cheating, disappearing and preparing to get his last dime by using the family court system. He does not know what a covert narcissist even is. He will learn the way I did.
Dear Sir I agree. I was once 27. I'm now 42.
She was a vulnerable person who had a bit of depression. Liar. Since her childhood she has been in and out of psychological referrals. So many prior relationships. So many victim scenarios. Routinely faked pregnancy in several relationships .
How stupid was I, thinking she wouldn't do the same to me.
She set me up good. Financially abusing me by dragging me through family court over false allegations that I psychologically abused our son, totally disproved in court. But the court allowed her to rummage through her history and come up with any previous argument we had that she set up inthe past. She is calm and cool while she plans on hoe to destroy you and smear you . Very long story, can't write it here .
But. You sir are right. I defended her to everyone who told me she was very cold and calculated. I protected her from the supposed abusive ex husband and ex boyfriends. She set up confrontation between me and them..
What a fool I was. Chivalrous, brave, loyal. All towards the wrong.
In the end I am actually lucky, I learned about my own faults, my family of origin. And how to be the stronger better version of myself, for me and my son - who I hope will escape her insane controlling home one day.
Imagine how bad it'd be in a country like India in the arranged marriage family system
I learned the hard way too. Lost everything twice. I guess I did learn well enough for it to happen twice
My son, nothing I can do!!! Killing me!!!!! His spouse and her mother have his brain!!! We need miracles!!!! Devastating!!!!!
Man and women
My narcissistic mother did all these things to me.
I would give this video a thousand likes so people can be aware and learn how to protect themselves. I sending people to this video!
Much love to you, Jill. Thank you!
13:00 My family of origin has set my openly hacked my phone for years. I finally went off about it and I was told to stop hacking my own phone. It's hard not to take the bait when it happens every day. Like you say, they want to trap you make you look like the crazy one. At this point, I'm not really too worried about their fellow haters or their opinion of me that they're putting on a show for. This is what keeps me semi sane in all this madness that they're imposing on me
Not a mistake to expose a bully. Wishing you well Maxwell
Thanks to your advice and that of others , I carefully planned my exit, left in secret and went dark , communicated solely through lawyers . This protected me from his threats and intimidation. Thankfully no children were involved, and because of his carefully crafted business and social reputation he did not try anything illegal. However I wasn’t totally spared , his smear campaign was viscous but I survived that .
That smear campaign! Its one of the most evil things they do imo - you can never roll back all those lies. I often wonder at how much potential is ruined by the vicious, lying narc.
Thank you❤ you’re an inspiration and true warrior!
I am exactly going through the end stages of the goal of these people. I have had every single thing that you’ve talked about done. In a mental hospital, prison or a cemetery… all of the above. They exhibit 💯of these characteristics and believe that is what I deserve. They are stalking me even here in my social media sites that I follow. I’m isolated and they are still trying to achieve their goal of me being in a mental hospital, prison or a cemetery. I was homeless for a year and managed to pull myself up and secure ( tenuous) employment and a place to live. I’m so grateful for a few people believing me and finding therapists like yourself here. Anyway thank you and your followers who share their stories with us…
This is really an eye-opener going through this garbage all right.....I'll be out in the street soon.....this person even deletes these little comments that I make.... I hope this message gets to you before it's deleted in 2 seconds have a good day good luck to you all
One word of advise - never give benefit of doubt and don’t play nice - you have to be ruthless. I regret not getting the police involved when my ex was stalking me. I was too nice and the abuse just got worse. You have to fight fire with fire.
You have just described the last 16 years of my life. I am very concerned about my safety!
I am praying for you. Do whatever you need to do to protect yourself.
Leave.
Don't say when you are ready to leave, be careful and we trust God ❤
He's already dead in the eyes and hearts of our children, and I did everything possible to prevent that. He brought this on himself. If God is with me, who can be against me?
Beloved, Whether in your life or not continue to pray for them.
May the Lord God bless you and preserve you.
In the mighty, matchless name of Jesus✝️🩸🕊🤍🪽🗡🙌🪔
Amen!
Jill knows her stuff this is a very dangerous time to be in protect yourself and your sanity at all cost don't play into their games I truly hope that blessings love and light finds it's way back into the lives of those who have endured these kinds of horrible and heartbreaking things from people. great video Jill.🌟❤💞
Thanks
To the extent of saying : "No one is going to believe you"
BELIEVE IT OR N O T?!! YES, YES I DO BELIEVE EVERY SINGLE WORD, FROM THIS TAPE! WHAT'S WRONG, AGY? YOUR A NARCISST TO? YOUR SPYING, WHAT ARE THE DOCTORS REVEAL OF NARCISSISTIC NARCOS?! ++ JEALOUSSY - CURIOUSNESS - AND EGOISM IS THE MOS SELFDISTRUCTING EMOTIONS PUT TOGETHER,AND YOU'VE GOT THEM!!
Or, he said they called me and asked me if I was okay I said whatever and never talked him again
Or flat out telling you they are going to tell everyone what a bad person you are ! Threats & Smearing
Mine unfriended me on Facebook,then a week later blocked me for good measure. I didn't even let them know I knew.
So much to comment on here. Everything Jill says here is absolutely true. I found one of the most amazing things is that the NARC tells everyone about HERSELF when she is telling them about "things you did". She could take everything that she did to me, and tell everyone those are the things I did to her. Nothing she did in eight years of illusion was more confusing to me than that. Nothing she ever said or did pulled me more out of reality than being blamed for things that she did. Amazing. I paid all her bills, and she would come back at me as if she was the one who was "being used"...and on and on...the NARC is a very whacky and evil entity. Run away. Thank you for all you do Jill!
🙏🙏🙏
Yes - they don't make allegations, they make confessions. The truth will come out eventually - its just a pity it doesn't dissolve all those vicious. damaging lies told about us.
@@wayneelliott1180 Isn't it bizarre how they act? We must remember that everything about them is fakery. Yep, the smearing and lies are extremely difficult for us to hear and not be able to do anything about. The NARC is a very bizarre creature. Thank you for your comment!
They always project. Accusations are ALWAYS confessions. So it's scary what they reveal.......
@@mvbigmagic4048 Thanks for your post! What you wrote is absolutely true. Its amazing to learn how they operate. If only we understood this the day we met them. Thanks again for your post. People are learning about these NARCs because they read our comments!
My narc is withholding my daughter from my court ordered weekend parenting time and I have to video record our in person interactions for my protection against false accusations.
Has your lawyer said anything about how this can be enforced so she will have to stop doing that?
I thank Jesus i am away from my husband (working on divorce). My son is a narc as well and these points are on point. May God continue to give us wisdom, support and favor❤.
Wow! You are spot on with everything. Your words touched my soul. I'm going to take heed to ALL your recommendations. God is using you and your story to save lives. Thank you!
Thank you so much! 🙏
Wow Jill. You are totally spot on! So many of us targeted exes have gone through everything you so very articulately highlighted. Your videos are very helpful and validating.
So glad!
12:41 To me, the worst part about it is the LOST TIME. Effort, work, facts. They absolutely twist reality. At a base, each one of these creatures is a hollow shell with no heart. 🤢🤙🏻💯
That last part about permanent address: I direct all of you to watch “The Invisible Man”. It’s required viewing for all of us!! We MUST outsmart THEM!!
@El_Peto LITERALLY COVERT Narcissistic abuse and how the tables are turned to make the victim look like the crazy one
Thank ypu so much. You really explained this clearly. Lots of imformation. Wishing you peace .
Exactly what my family of origin did. Thanks for all your help, Jill ♥
I made the mistake of building my house next to covert narc mil. She was so wonderful when I met her.... fast forward 11 years (about 9 being terrible) and we're selling our house. Mil has slandered me to everyone in town, my inlaw family, everyone we know. Everything is my fault apparently. She's accused me of fraud, being a criminal, stealing from her, etc. I wish I could have just slunk away in the night to avoid all this but it's so complicated living next door. It has been 3 months of hell. Guilt trips, slander, verbal and emotional abuse etc. We are closing in 10 days and plan to go no contact forever. Our son deserves so much better, in fact so do my husband and I. It's scary how charming these people start off as. She said everything I wanted to hear.
Leah, I was in the same type of situation as you, only it was my father, who was a malignant narcissist. I lost 25 pounds being his round the clock caregiver when he had a terminal illness. I was gentle, kind, patient with him, and I did everything for him. He died 15 years ago and I haven't recovered yet from his abuse. He had hundreds of ways to hurt me and make me look bad. He told my 43-year-old nephew nephew, also a narc, that I was hitting him (not true), the nephew then called Adult Protective Services and I was investigated for "elder abuse"!!!!! Of course the case was closed when they found out what kind of person I really am, but the damage had been done, because the nephew and my father's narc 82-year-old "girlfriend" told everyone in town that I had been investigated for Elder Abuse.
I was with him 20 hours out of every day when he was sick, I'm the one who drove him to all of his doctor's appointments, to dialysis three times a week, cooked for him, etc., etc., and I was in the house making his lunch, when I heard him on the phone telling my cousin who had called from out of state, that he hadn't seen me for years, that I had moved, and that he had no idea where I was. (She had asked about me.)
My father got some kind of sick joy out of imagining how I would feel when I discovered things of mine missing. I have been looking for some precious photos of mine that had been in my personal photo albums for years. Just last year, 14 years after he died, I went to England to visit cousins of mine (I live halfway around the world in Washington state), and over in England, they pulled out some photos that had been in my photo albums, that my father had sent to them years ago, photos of me and my friends, and photos of me when I was a happy little girl. My father had taken a lot of them and sent them to various people around the world, without me knowing it, and I don't know who all has my pictures. These were all pictures that no one else would be interested in, my father just wanted to steal something from me. I have NO photos of me as a child, he got rid of all of them. He knew that my mother and I had been close, she had died 14 years earlier, and he got rid of every single photo of my mom that he had in his house, without me knowing it. She was also abused by him. I feel like I want to write to as many people as I can think of, that might have my photos, and ask them to send them to me. He sent people pictures of me and my friends to people who never even knew ME ! I want my pictures back.
I have my father's ashes, he was cremated after he died, and I feel like taking a ferry ride and giving him a "burial at sea". It's an hour long ride across the water to another town, and I feel like taking all of his ashes in a plastic bag, going to the side of the big ferry, leaning over the side, and just letting all of his ashes fall into the water and out of the bag (I wouldn't let the plastic bag fall into the water). It's salt water out there, so the ashes would eventually get washed out to sea.
I don't think my father really cared where he ended up after he died, but he thought that he was going into a niche at the cemetary where my mom is, the person he abused for 48 years.
If I decide to throw his ashes into the water, and I pretty much already have, no one would ever know, as no one in 14 years has asked me where he is "buried", except one friend of his, that was 13 years ago, and I just never answered his question, and he didn't pursue it. Also, I checked, and giving him a burial at sea would be totally legal. It would be my way of getting him out of my life, not that the trauma of his abuse is ever going to go away.
This one man who wanted to know where my father is buried also wanted me to send him my father's military records (I don't have them and have never seen them). My father was in the Marine Corps for only two years, and his friend wanted his military records, because apparently my father gave him the impression that he was out fighting in the Pacific Theater during World War II. His friend told me that "he must have seen a lot of fighting, because he doesn't like to talk about it much". I said nothing, but I thought, "Yeah, my father doesn't like to talk about being in World War II and fighting in the Pacific, because HE WAS NEVER THERE!!!" He never did any fighting, in fact, he never left the continental United States! I kind of wonder if his friend wanted his military records to see if my father had been telling him the truth about being in World War II.
Malignant narcissists! They are so hurtful, dishonest, and mean. Heaven help us all.
😢😢😢
Your dad was crazy. They’re so cruel.
lol that you told his friend he was never in WW2.
Throw the ashes. Next topic. I’m also a USMC veteran. 🫡🇺🇸🇬🇧
@@JT0007 Thank you so very much for your reply. It makes my day to know that there are people out there who are on MY side, because my father's flying monkeys are still everywhere.
I didn't tell my father's friend (Randy) that he was never fighting out in the Pacific Theatre. I didn't like him, either, so I didn't really want to communicate with him. Randy thought that my father could "do no wrong", and he also had a case of what is called "toxic positivity". But I think I will tell him. I think he still has the same email address and lives at the same place.
So, you were a Marine. Thank you for your service! That must have been quite an experience.
I see that you put the British flag at the end of your reply. Were you born there?
I love the UK, I was there just ten months ago for a month. I have a lot of British cousins on my mom's side, in London and other places in the UK.
Have a great weekend!
@@galaxy98765 I just love my heritage but nope! I live in NorCal
So what are you doing with your dad’s ashes? How about you give them to your family member? When my dad dies…if I had his ashes…ok my dude, come grab them before I dump them.
🫡🇺🇸🇬🇧 😉
Holy smokes... these traits didn't hit close to home; it is home! This is my life 😢
I'm smiling because I won and she lost. My mother failed to make me a victim, crazy or dead. My brothers are not as lucky. Best thing is that it's been 5 years and I know she's declining. She has over mortgaged her house for the 5th time and as I'm no longer available to help with her finances, she will probably lose the house!
It's been 6 years of no contact but I believe that others may start to see that I am not the abuser. I am the successful one. Actually, I don't care anymore what they see. Including my father who is just waiting to die. Good luck to them I wish them all well. I'll be over here being a survivor. 🏝😎
I am the same. I don't care anymore what happens to them, or what they see of me. Their opinions of me don't matter. They're not paying me. They're not an influence in my life anymore. No contact since January 27, 2024, after off and on low-contact since 1999. Narcissists only GET WORSE with age. It's terrifying! No contact is survival.
Jill, this video is spot on. Thank jo.
That is absolutely correct..When they can no longer control you the Will control how others see
you!!!💯🤞🏽
I woke up after 7 months and realized I was with a Covert Narcissist. After my research I decided to play with him. I watched him play the game and for sure he is Textbook. I was amused by the entire game. I future faked with him and then I Ghosted him exactly what he did to me. Then Blocked him for 2 months. I really didn’t care because this exactly what he planned for me.
He F with the wrong one.
We weren’t together that long so no common friends or close family involved. The addiction is real though. It’s getting better everyday and I just stay NO CONTACT!
This cycle describes my entire childhood. I saw through my mother from a very young age. I would stand up to her, call her out and try to reason with her from the time I was four. So things were hell for me but I keep doing even knowing that it made things worse because it was the right thing to do.
Do not tell them anything too personal about yourself, because they will use it against you in ways you could never imagine. I learnt that the hard way
Oh and the narc rage is something else
I am sick of their shit!! I called it out!!
I have been watching videos and trying to learn about this type of person for about 8 years now. And I must say this is one of the best videos I have seen on narcissism. It's amazing how much they are all alike. They all do basically the same things. It's insane.
🔥🎯incredibly succinct Jill ❤ People heed these words, if someone throws shade on another's name, let that be red flag you need. They fight dirty, run!
I’m so sorry for all the people here that have been emotionally harmed. My heart ❤️ goes out to you.
I suffered under 4 narcs....husband: his mother: a so-called friend: and my father........all wanted to totally destroy me.......but finally I survived, and now understand the pain they put me through was because of their sickness and not mine!
Damn lady you're scaring the shit out of me! I took an ex back after 20 years now just find out that she's a malignant narcissist. Now that I'm older and can recognize weird behaviors I'm starting to get shook. We've only been back together about a year and a half and I've never been more regretful about anything I've ever done in my life! The constant Jabs and swipes at me trying to belittle me and saying weird things like you know women on menopause always kill their husbands is starting to really freak me out. She is the mother of my adult sons and we do have grandchildren l hoped to have a normal grandparent grandkids relationship with. I want her gone but she has nothing and nowhere to go I can't just put my son's mother out on the street. I've never felt more stuck in all my life.
Thank You so much, im currently in a 11 month ongoing divorce process from a covert cheating coward, its very clear he wants me destroyed. These people are ruthless, if they are even human!?? 🤷♀️
human only in name. Get out.
@jans724 hes been gone
@@ladyvirgo013You free for a date
Wow... i have endured everything you mention. Spot on 👍
I'm going thru right now
100% accurate .The stages are exhausting and I’ve been through it with two female relatives. When you are a sensitive and caring person, they hone in on your positive vibes immediately. The second time I really kept my distance but the hovering didn’t stop. Both of these narcs have never had successful relationships or married. In both instances the goal seems to be wanting me divorced. My lightbulb moment came when both tried to go after my kids asking for their phone numbers. Just mind blowing. They follow these stages to a T.
Wow! This is spot on!! Exactly everything that I went through with my ex husband when I left him. I got my life together and better than it was, and managed to get cleared of all allegations eventually, and survived, and the kids have disowned him. But I still have a dreadful reputation from his smear campaign. It’s unfair because it’s all lies.
WOW!
All you said was 110% what ive experienced, heard and felt.
Yes, they hack into your devices. Yes, they want you to know. I do regret the day I ever laid eyes on them. So, I guess they win.
Make the rest of your life count ..... then YOU win.
@@manyhives Yeah, they didn't reach out in a bit. Let's see how long that lasts.
Phew , listening to you , some 15 years after leaving a narcissistic marriage , I realise how text book the behaviour was . Im grateful I'm still here tbh.
Every single word is what I experienced with the 60years old textbook narcissist its really mindblowing accurate. I always had in mind he might be a narc during our 5 years relationship so I was prepared for the lightbulb moment and ended the relationship immidiatley by acting mental ill, depressed and not good enough for him knowing when his toy is broken he will go looking for a new one. It is a quite safe way to leave so I can recommend thus. They will smear you either so what.
This is most definitely 💯 right on. 👍 Thank You for all your support and encouragement and enlightenment. 🙏♥️
This is true. It is unearthly badness.
My god,they are sick bullies.no one should put up with that abuse.Your 100% spot on.keep the info coming.how are they able to con so many ppl.
Story of Ben Hart's first marriage. Poor guy, but a total boss for always staying positive and real and never letting anyone beat him down
I was raised by a narcissist. I'm 41 now, and just realizing it. It Explains a lot of my responses and demeanor. I have a long road ahead of me for recovery, but st least I know to look for pot holes and other hazards...just have to make repairs to what has been damaged.