I wish I'd known about ADHD when I was a child. So many skills that I missed out on due to people thinking I was just lazy instead of giving me step by step instruction.
It was their IMPATIENCE for me...they would go too slow, not adjust to my intelligence, and i would get bored and wander away, followed by them not encourahing or following up with me. "Benign neglect" they call it.
Diagnosed at or around 6 yrs old here... but got taken off the meds around my teens. Forced to try to be normal in a world wildly not accepting of those issues I literal always had, heck my school ignored my Individual Education Plan or IEP, basically entirely to be flat about it.. I'min my late thirties now. BUT, back to my point... Just the diagnosis if it's not accepted and recognized, sadly means Jack diddly. At this point I'm still learning to accept my struggles weren't all my fault and the worlds state of treatment and approach/ acceptance for the mental health of others was more often than not at fault, all without holding a resentment as that's a poison I'm seriously done drinking... it's still incredibly hard, diagnosis or not., to reiterate...
Yes, I totally agree with you. Being misunderstood all my childhood and teenage right up till I was 49 then I was officially diagnosed. I feel as if I've missed a life. I'm more relaxed now about myself. It was my eldest daughter who noticed.
ADHD Love is a brilliant channel that helps me to understand my ADHD and to laugh at myself rather than get upset or frustrated. The world is a better place with people like Roxanne and Richard in it.🥰
As is her partner & best friend. Dynamite dynamic couple 🥰 Watching her vids was like watching a stranger across the pond, act out a part of my life I hide from most everyone. Was t diagnosed til mid 30’s
I am loving these two atm!! Although I haven’t been diagnosed yet, I ticked every box of my Adult ADHD screening, someone finally took me seriously, didn’t fob me off, didn’t say I am just a over the top drama queen, I didn’t get made to feel lazy, I don’t get called retarded by co workers anymore or called a b*^ch when I am having a meltdown I see a lot of similar symptoms that I have due to watching ADHD love thank you so much for helping others Rox, you are wonderful never forget that ❤❤❤❤❤
I was diagnosed with cptsd since my teenage, spent my whole life fighting cptsd. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Can you help me with the reliable source . I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Austria. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
Ive done shrooms last month in my house. It taught me how severely traumatized I was from alcohol. I healed from many mental traumas from my past and was able to forgive, let go. Shrooms to me is a remedy not a vice. I even felt more refreshed the morning after. So no hangovers. No depression mood for days. No anxiety.I now have a more calm mind
From my experience it really works excellently! It doesnt even need to be a full hit. With potent shrooms 2-3 small ones will still make a clear difference. It will be a few hour cosy rumbling moment around rest time, but afterwards its just calm and you feel amazing and gain your freedom. Psilocybin is different dudes, its the only "treatment" I would recommend to someone who genuinely wants to get better. There is no addiction, withdrawal, or negative side effects. It's just pure healing., far more effective than any anti-depressant and any other thing. I went on a microdose treatment for a couple of months and within the first week, every sight of a cigarette got me questioning why I was doing all that to myself. It really works. you can thank me later.
I'm 63 and recently got diagnosed with ADHD and it made so much sense about what I have lived through all these years. I guess I recognised I was 'different' when I was around 8/9 so the rest of my life has been filled in a mental marble-run and I closed (myself) down. Dirty Laundry is a great book and really helps pull things together.
Ian, I was dx’d one year ago, age 60. I can so relate to your statement about feeling different since age 8 or 9. For me, my Mom’s shaming me for being lazy settled in as a personal defect belief. “If only” is a futile exercise yet I can’t help but thinking how different the trajectory of my life might have been with an earlier diagnosis.
Richard -- you really did CHANGE THE CONVERSATION. I lovve the exemplary way Richard FRAMES WITH REAL LOVE every behavior of his wonderful Roxanne. Much better understanding of ourselves nad others, and that is a way to healthy and peaceful relationships. Praise GOD for what you are doing. And thank you to the host for artfully presenting this wonderful couple and topic. School or any social /performance-based setting can be kryptonite-like. Prefrontal cortex info is a plus.
Absolutely loving the positivity and destigmatisation. Neurodivergence is a necessary and beautiful variance of the human brain. Sleep is soooo important. Our brains work so hard. I cannot go without 8 hours or even 12 when my fatigue is particularly bad. That makes it hard for kids to get enough sleep while fitting in school and needing down time.
I couldn't manage to not to burst into tears. Both for happiness for her, because my soul is just like that, but also, of sadness(what a neurodivergent thing to do haha), for the struggles for this in my own life, and for not having someone to SEE me and do the effort for comprehension in my life, at least, not atm or past. But I enjoyed the happiness hehe
Yep I'm 49 and got my ADHD diagnosis 2 week's ago. 100% is the maximum amount you can score for the hyperactive component and I scored 100% lol. I have the hyper focus, but I don't have the forgetfulness, being late, don't clean up etc. I get overwhelmed by chores, work, responsibility etc, but I've always snarled my way through it. And I've always loved discipline, routine, keeping time's and date's etc, "punctuality being the politeness of king's." Cueing up is to overwhelming for me unless I'm tapping my fingers. My body is always moving even when I'm sleeping. I have to wear sunglasses cos of ADHD lightphobia outside and inside the house, special tinted anti-glare glasses for the TV, computer phone etc. If I'm in a restaurant and I hear people stirring their tea with a spoon, knives and forks cutting on a plate, I hear it really loud and I turn homicidal in my head with rage cos of the loudness (thankfully I don't lash out physically or verbally). I'm also a daredevil adrenaline junkie, absolutely fearless. Sadly in the 1970's and 1980's the teachers just hit sh-t out of you for being naughty and interrupting the class. Also I was always climbing, and from age 2 to 16 I spent at least 6 time's a year in head with serious head injuries, concussion, -coma fighting for my life. I got a laser interlect, photographic memory, and cat like super fast physical reflexes. I don't stop talking or I interrupting people either, lol. Thanks dudes. Great vid.
I'm 48 and I have an ADHD pre-assessment next month. I always knew there was something wrong but couldn't work out what. But ADHD just fits. Unlike you, I have the inattentive symptoms more than the hyperactivity ones.
@@chriswilson1853 good for you. Go for it. Allow yourself to grieve after your diagnosis to, feel every feeling and accept them as grieving feelings. Don't resist or fight against them. They will pass. Put a PIP benefits claim in also, even if your working, your entitled to PIP because ADHD is a mental disability. If you fail it keep reapplying until you get it, your local citizens advice bureau will help you. Stay cool and be proud of yourself.
I had to get tinted glasses this time around. They help a lot. I have to constantly be in motion, moving my foot, changing positions, posture, looking around, I sit next to a window (I’m disabled) so it gets bad some days.
ADHD LOVE clips on TH-cam have made such a HUGE impact on me in my life, and hundreds of thousands of others as well! Discovering which behaviors are directly influenced by ADHD helps to normalize and make sense of actions which are looked upon as "shameful" by those who are neurotypical and have taught us that we are "wrong" for being affected in a non-standard manner. It's so true that many of us were never taught how to do things which are considered "basic" or "ordinary" to those who have done them for decades, but if you've never been taught the steps, it's perplexing to be bombarded with "information overload" without breaking it down into manageable, easy to comprehend actions. Being shunned, mocked, and discriminated against for simply "not knowing" or going about a task in a different manner is so hard on one's emotions, and THAT is even further alienating. BLESS YOU BOTH for giving people an opportunity to be seen, understood, normalized, and explained to both neurotypicals and neurodivergents alike. You literally help save lives! ❤
How awesome are they? Rox confirms my diagnosis in every video. I'm 54 so I went through the wringer as a child. So many things have been answered since. If everyone was like Rich what a wonderful world it would be.
I dont even havn't ticktock, i found these two on FB, I bought their book. (best choice i have made recently)..... Made me see myself in a more understanding light. Also made me realise that my partner struggles too. We have made scheduled to help day to day. Thank you R and R. :)
This channel was extremely helpful for me. I was also a late diagnoses like Rox and my husband is neurotypical like Rich. We also have a neurodivergent child. Having this channel and their book to help explain certain things to him (my husband), it’s almost like having a buddy in Rich who is helping give him advice because he’s been there and it’s difficult explaining it myself. And having comedy mixed in helps so much because it takes so much of the strain off. And we can laugh and talk about it without the pressure. We watch their videos (well I do and then either send them or we watch them together) and we listen to the audio book together, they have opened up so many topics of conversation for us. ❤
Rich isn't neurotypical. He has strong Autism traits. Are you sure your Husband is neurotypical? Or is he just different from you? Neurodivergent often attracts neuro divergent.
I am 51, diagnosed at 47 with Adhd combined and ASD. I have been up all night as sleep is still a battle. For some reason looking at recipes was far more important then closing my eyes. The funny thing is, I am a 'can cook but won't ever cook, even if your life depends on it' kinda girl! So no matter how much I try and convince myself that I am going to make that Oreo cake, or bake those biscuits, it is never going to happen 🙄 Totally related to Roxy, people's judgments have become my sins and I am still working on removing the shame! We are a paradoxical tribe and our brain functions on an unusual frequency. Most struggle to find our place in society because the world has been designed by farmers whilst we are the hunters! It doesn't work for us no matter how many times they say it should! 😂
Roxanne and Richard you have validated my experience in every way! I can NEVER THANK YOU ENOUGH! Also, I tell everyone about you I know/meet whom I know either has, or they suspect that they might, have ADHD. Your channel has helped myself and my partner to be able to laugh at these challenges, which takes the sting out of them and also redirects the negative dialog I have with myself.
The teeth thing...I have struggled with that for all my life (almost 50 now). I can be sitting here at midnight, trying to find the energy/focus to get up and move the 3 metres and brush my teeth. Some nights I lose the battle and just go to sleep. And brush after lunch? That doesn't even enter into my brain. I am lucky I can do it once a day at the end. It's not just being lazy...it's just an inability to either do something, or it just doesnt even enter my brain to do it.
Omg this is so funny...and so true..lemme just say, I've always thought brushing too close to the meal would leave a funny taste un your mouth or would prevent you from eating/drinking again soon after. Being Italian we looove to eat and we love shifts of food every couple hours like coffee/cake, then another dessert, then antipasto, then meal again. Luckily Im naturally very skinny 😂😂😂 but yeah, that sort of confuses it for me.
A lot of that just sounds like exhaustion. Dude, it's okay, just fall asleep comfortably, when you wake up, important thing is a nice full teeth cleaning with electric toothbrush, flossing, mouthwash and tooth whitening paste!! You have limitations, when you need to decompress, or sleep, don't fault or guilt yourself!!!
@@kendobc hmm ..i dunno, im adhd asd and near your age and i experience the same as you describe if i read it correctly. And i have loads of energy maybe half the time? maybe, but the other half is me forcong myself to sleep, eat, calm, relax, talk on phone ,care for hygiene etc. All those things then reinvigorate me- giving me more energy- however i need to stay mindfully-aware when i get that zombie, zone out feeling you describe to do them. I think the issue is we are often taught to associate "exhaustion" asa purely physical. Mental exhaustion occurs too very often in neurodivergent people. The other option i suppose is some sort of ocd/medication issue where youre totally overstimulated. I dunno but it sounds like youre simply trying to attain perfection.
Thank you for doing your bit, Jeremy Vine's producers and host. Thank you Rox and professor. And Rox, you didn't blag your 2:1, you earned it with a lot of hard work. Quit not acknowledging your successes.
oh wow I cried when your video aired and Richard said "so it's like you have two different brains"...Im convinced that me AND my partner of 15 years have adhd..we have different manifestations but the more Ive taken this seriously the more I understand us..like R&R, we were very destructive sometimes in our relationship. It is on a better road now x
Just came across your channel here on TH-cam and I’m so emotional and grateful, THANK you Rox and Richard for being wise and loving and persistent to create the videos - there’s tons of love and understanding. I’ve needed this so much ❤❤❤❤
That's a way too fast paced program for that sort of conversation X'D But all participants did as good as they could within that setting! As a super late diagnosed woman with ADHD this is all so relatable, I can't!
Oh my days - I watched this on subtitles, and when the host starts talking to Richard, instead of 'you don't have ADHD Richard', it says 'you don't have idiots Richard' 🤣🤣🤣
Also its VERY important to understans that attendance, lateness and deadlines arent just issues of hyperfocus, timeblindness, dopamine or frontal brain development BUT ACTUAL BRAINWAVES. When you sleep, your brainwaves NEED TO SHIFT IN ORDER TO WAKE UP. If youre adhd, you WILL OVERALEEP REGARDLESS OF HOW EARLY BEDTIME WAS
Mixed beauty. I appreciate what you said there. Everyday is the most difficult day and its wading through mental mud, but suddenly i can write a song or poem out of nowhere most days. Not feeling shame, especially when parenting.
Im 53 and I have never made a bed. BTW: shared your youtube w/ my new psychiatrist just to let him know "ADHD Love" resonates with me hard. When I watch ur stuff; yes that has happed to me. yes. yes. yes. yes.
Im sure there's some great discussions here but i just tuned in to say i love your hat! Yes, I'm autistic and ADHD (undiagnosed but i don't need a white coat to tell me). Keep on doing what you're doing! X
The brushing teeth issue reminds me of when as a child making myself late to leave for school trying to make a decision whether to brush before going to kitchen with other family members to be considerate as opposed to wanting to eat first & brush afterwards. Silly as this may sound I struggled with this. Of course the obvious solution is a bit of attention to the mouth before AND after eating .. avoiding a strong taste ( maybe a swish with warm salt water ) BEFORE the food so as not to ruin the taste but be presentable to others. As a kid that didn't occur to me & is just one example how my brain fought with itself.
At 62 years old in Los Angeles California I am fighting for my life.... I only have ADHD... And I'm being attacked by my family the authorities my neighbors... They say I'm schizophrenic and dangerous because I'm not acting "right" I need a lawyer I need resources I'm so frustrated I fought this shame my entire life.... And I've lived a very productive life with degrees and recognition... I taught school for almost 40 years Many teachers have ADHD But my community here in Glendora California are convinced that I am crazy because I am different Please help me I just can't do this anymore
49 and it finally has me paralyzed. Been diagnosed for a decade and tried all medications but it doesn't get better. Seeing things like this doesn't help if you can't implement the suggestions and it's really hard to keep up hope all alone.
Just diagnosed age 42 I think we have to follow our own path once we are diagnosed we just need to explore what works and doesn’t work for each individual
This was wonderful until the host started to rush things at the 2nd question. Getting insight from somebody struggling and not just a professional would have helped a lot more. The woman from ADHD love was far more relatable.
The bit about late developing prefrontal cortex was helpful. I'm in my late 70s, either out about 4 years ago that i have a lot of iADHD symptoms, found it difficult to persuade my GP to refer me because I'm not hyperactive, and then lost the referral. I'd read that parts of the ADHD brain develop more slowly, but i was always a fairly bright kid, but crashed at University when i was 17-19, learnt more Latvian than Lagrangian multipliers in maths classes, read up on mediaeval Frisian in the library instead of learning about radii of gyration... With a record of failure, i never thought I'd get back in, but at 23, having had my arm twisted repeatedly, i have it another try, and ended up with three degrees and a couple of other qualifications. But I was always late to lectures, a last minute essayist, and a taker of copious notes -- it kept me moving and helped me maintain attention. It has only struck me today that those years between high school and restarting Uni were brain-growing years.
I'm not diagnosed with ADHD but my older sister and my son is diagnosed with ADHD though and this is so interesting to know. I'm diagnosed with PTSD, borderline personality disorder, bi polar disorder 1, and Insomnia.
she is being very conservative with the age of maturation. The info I read in the USA is 25-28 for normal development. If ADHD is "behind" then they would be older, more like the age of maturation in the Jewish tradition, which is 30-33.
It was as good as you can expect for a short segment on dead media like daytime telly lmao would have been way better as a podcast for like an hour and without the callers. I think there was so much more to discuss and a lot more that could have been achieved but it was definitely better than nothing. Unrelated but Roxanne's music under the name 'RØRY' is really good if you like alternative stuff like pop punk etc
Some ND people can’t tune into podcasts though just doesn’t work for us. I have dual diagnosis of ASD (Aspergers) and combined ADHD and cannot for the life of me tune into podcasts
@Dancestar1981 True, I think all discussion is a step in the right direction but it wasn't in depth enough for me. I enjoy a lot of short form content on here for example.
Diet is so important as well as sleep. Not just medicine. Ugh, food today… 😩 Whoever coined “sleep when you’re dead” wanted to take out their competition. 🕊️ 🤗 🫶
"Food today"??????? I mean... i do live on the gulf coast but you could grow your own too... seeds are cheap on ebay... choose your food, it's common sense..
@@yogidevendrabiriyani1777 I wish…boy do I wiiiiisssshhhhh. My body stopped allowing me to do that fun💩 years ago sadly. As luck would have it, right when I finally “bought a home” amd was truly able to. Please, cannot assume everyone’s situation. I’m working my way, slowly, back to having a life again, but…blah…it’s a long story. Extenuating circumstances and all dat…as we all must experience those lifebergs & just “pray” we don’t sink. Can still find decent food out there, but I just don’t wanna eat to begin with; I now take no pleasure in food cuz I don’t know what I’m doing beyond regular- bad for me -staple meals, so I eat the same thing every day til I can’t. 🫠🫤🥱 And then, pick a new meal and start all over again. Will eat a new menu for about a year or so. 🤷🏻♀️ Oh. I’m north of ya. Waaay north. Pennsyltucky. My parents just moved back. Winter birds in Port Ritchey FL, for 20+ years. Best of luck w ur gardening! Take care. 🕊️
One of the eaisest things for me is see how they react to coffee or caffeine. If they are more energetic then they typical. If they fall asleep they most likely a candidate for adhd
I feel like some of those callers weren't very specific. The one that said her grandson acted like he was 8, did she mean he just liked "childish" things or did she mean it literally? Cause that feels like a different diagnosis.
....a little tip for you, given my years of life experience. It gets a lot easier the sooner you stop blaming your parents for your life. Its not a dig, just a factual comment 👍
There’s nothing wrong with mourning what might have been, I’m sorry for your struggles. Getting a diagnosis involved a fair bit of mourning as well as learning and moving forward.
@@Alloneword-cp2xw why are your "years of experience" an assumptuon? Maybe I'm older than you. Youre not even intelligent enough to read my comment and realize Gen X is 45 to 59 years old. And the less intelligent are always on about "not blaming", and religious concepts like "forgiveness". I will continue to blame, hate and fight as much as I want. Im not weak like you. So stop judging and moralizing cuz no one cares.
It would be nice if programs like this discussed chronic illness that is very rarely given a voice. There are a huge amount of people out there suffering with no help. I have ME and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. And no one has heard about it, unlike ADHD. We seem to be very focused nowadays on mental health. Whereas people who have suffered chronic illness like ME have been put in the corner and left to rot
I'm 54 years old and I have had a career of 31 years in the military. Its only now, because I have a girlfriend with ADHD, that I discover that I have most of the symptoms 🙄🙄😳
Sleep. What is that? I've been prescribed Guanfacine for night meds, and on top of that I have tried Methyl Phenidate (10mg) before sleep, I have tried 4mg Melatonin, back on 10mg of MP, and I still cannot sleep through the night. The Dr is going to try some other drug if this (and it isn't) doesn't work. I miss using cannabis, that used to help.
If managing adhd based on sleep then I won’t agree sleeping making me uncomfortable and very tired after sleeping his more a part of anxiety and depression
How about they sort together, he runs the loads and she folds and puts away? He keeps track of the swap and she only thinks about it when he hands it off.
I wish I'd known about ADHD when I was a child. So many skills that I missed out on due to people thinking I was just lazy instead of giving me step by step instruction.
I try to share with older adults but most are locked into not even recognizing it. Many of whom seem to be deflecting it
100% this
It was their IMPATIENCE for me...they would go too slow, not adjust to my intelligence, and i would get bored and wander away, followed by them not encourahing or following up with me. "Benign neglect" they call it.
Diagnosed at or around 6 yrs old here... but got taken off the meds around my teens. Forced to try to be normal in a world wildly not accepting of those issues I literal always had, heck my school ignored my Individual Education Plan or IEP, basically entirely to be flat about it.. I'min my late thirties now. BUT, back to my point... Just the diagnosis if it's not accepted and recognized, sadly means Jack diddly. At this point I'm still learning to accept my struggles weren't all my fault and the worlds state of treatment and approach/ acceptance for the mental health of others was more often than not at fault, all without holding a resentment as that's a poison I'm seriously done drinking... it's still incredibly hard, diagnosis or not., to reiterate...
Yes, I totally agree with you. Being misunderstood all my childhood and teenage right up till I was 49 then I was officially diagnosed. I feel as if I've missed a life. I'm more relaxed now about myself. It was my eldest daughter who noticed.
ADHD Love is a brilliant channel that helps me to understand my ADHD and to laugh at myself rather than get upset or frustrated. The world is a better place with people like Roxanne and Richard in it.🥰
Yes!!!😮😮
Agreed
Absolutely! ❤
So true pixywings, these two are wonderful!! ❤❤❤❤
Roxanne Emery (aka røry) is bloody fabulous!
So is your username! 🌹🌹
I ABSOLUTELY AGREE ❤😊👍🏻👌🏻
As is her partner & best friend. Dynamite dynamic couple 🥰
Watching her vids was like watching a stranger across the pond, act out a part of my life I hide from most everyone.
Was t diagnosed til mid 30’s
Came to comments to say the same thing!
I am loving these two atm!! Although I haven’t been diagnosed yet, I ticked every box of my Adult ADHD screening, someone finally took me seriously, didn’t fob me off, didn’t say I am just a over the top drama queen, I didn’t get made to feel lazy, I don’t get called retarded by co workers anymore or called a b*^ch when I am having a meltdown I see a lot of similar symptoms that I have due to watching ADHD love thank you so much for helping others Rox, you are wonderful never forget that ❤❤❤❤❤
I was diagnosed with cptsd since my teenage, spent my whole life fighting cptsd. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Can you help me with the reliable source . I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Austria. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
Ive done shrooms last month in my house. It taught me how severely traumatized I was from alcohol. I healed from many mental traumas from my past and was able to forgive, let go. Shrooms to me is a remedy not a vice. I even felt more refreshed the
morning after. So no hangovers. No
depression mood for days. No anxiety.I now
have a more calm mind
Mushrooms helped my son get off opioid
From my experience it really works excellently! It doesnt even need to be a full hit. With potent shrooms 2-3 small ones will still make a clear difference. It will be a few hour cosy rumbling moment around rest time, but afterwards its just calm and you feel amazing and gain your freedom. Psilocybin is different dudes, its the only "treatment" I would recommend to someone who genuinely wants to get better. There is no addiction, withdrawal, or negative side effects. It's just pure healing., far more effective than any anti-depressant and any other thing. I went on a microdose treatment for a couple of months and within the first week, every sight of a cigarette got me questioning why I was doing all that to myself. It really works. you can thank me later.
Hey! I got mine shipped to me here in CA
I'm 63 and recently got diagnosed with ADHD and it made so much sense about what I have lived through all these years. I guess I recognised I was 'different' when I was around 8/9 so the rest of my life has been filled in a mental marble-run and I closed (myself) down.
Dirty Laundry is a great book and really helps pull things together.
I knew I was different at age 5 I have dual diagnosis of ASD and combined ADHD and didn’t get my diagnosis until late adulthood
Ian, I was dx’d one year ago, age 60. I can so relate to your statement about feeling different since age 8 or 9. For me, my Mom’s shaming me for being lazy settled in as a personal defect belief. “If only” is a futile exercise yet I can’t help but thinking how different the trajectory of my life might have been with an earlier diagnosis.
Best wishes to you
@@Dancestar1981
It's a frustration we must try and 'accept' - so hard but good luck @@brendatomlinson
@@brendatomlinsonbut meanwhile those a$$h0les were lazy Themselves, never doing the work of PARENTING (ie responding to your needs). Projecting!!!
Richard -- you really did CHANGE THE CONVERSATION. I lovve the exemplary way Richard FRAMES WITH REAL LOVE every behavior of his wonderful Roxanne. Much better understanding of ourselves nad others, and that is a way to healthy and peaceful relationships. Praise GOD for what you are doing.
And thank you to the host for artfully presenting this wonderful couple and topic. School or any social /performance-based setting can be kryptonite-like. Prefrontal cortex info is a plus.
Absolutely loving the positivity and destigmatisation. Neurodivergence is a necessary and beautiful variance of the human brain.
Sleep is soooo important. Our brains work so hard. I cannot go without 8 hours or even 12 when my fatigue is particularly bad. That makes it hard for kids to get enough sleep while fitting in school and needing down time.
True
The psychologist explained it it in such a SIMPLE put way !!! & it was comforting way of putting it !!
This is the definition of unconditional love and understanding!! This is the perfect example of true love !!
I couldn't manage to not to burst into tears. Both for happiness for her, because my soul is just like that, but also, of sadness(what a neurodivergent thing to do haha), for the struggles for this in my own life, and for not having someone to SEE me and do the effort for comprehension in my life, at least, not atm or past. But I enjoyed the happiness hehe
It has nothing to do with “the soul”.
Go back and register. She says in the video that it does something to her “soul” when the lady talks kindly about ADHD
*relisten, stupid autocorrect
Yep I'm 49 and got my ADHD diagnosis 2 week's ago. 100% is the maximum amount you can score for the hyperactive component and I scored 100% lol.
I have the hyper focus, but I don't have the forgetfulness, being late, don't clean up etc. I get overwhelmed by chores, work, responsibility etc, but I've always snarled my way through it.
And I've always loved discipline, routine, keeping time's and date's etc,
"punctuality being the politeness of king's."
Cueing up is to overwhelming for me unless I'm tapping my fingers. My body is always moving even when I'm sleeping.
I have to wear sunglasses cos of ADHD lightphobia outside and inside the house, special tinted anti-glare glasses for the TV, computer phone etc.
If I'm in a restaurant and I hear people stirring their tea with a spoon, knives and forks cutting on a plate, I hear it really loud and I turn homicidal in my head with rage cos of the loudness (thankfully I don't lash out physically or verbally).
I'm also a daredevil adrenaline junkie, absolutely fearless.
Sadly in the 1970's and 1980's the teachers just hit sh-t out of you for being naughty and interrupting the class.
Also I was always climbing, and from age 2 to 16 I spent at least 6 time's a year in head with serious head injuries, concussion, -coma fighting for my life.
I got a laser interlect, photographic memory, and cat like super fast physical reflexes. I don't stop talking or I interrupting people either, lol.
Thanks dudes. Great vid.
Thank you for the like.
I'm 48 and I have an ADHD pre-assessment next month. I always knew there was something wrong but couldn't work out what. But ADHD just fits. Unlike you, I have the inattentive symptoms more than the hyperactivity ones.
@@chriswilson1853 good for you. Go for it.
Allow yourself to grieve after your diagnosis to, feel every feeling and accept them as grieving feelings. Don't resist or fight against them. They will pass.
Put a PIP benefits claim in also, even if your working, your entitled to PIP because ADHD is a mental disability.
If you fail it keep reapplying until you get it, your local citizens advice bureau will help you.
Stay cool and be proud of yourself.
I had to get tinted glasses this time around. They help a lot. I have to constantly be in motion, moving my foot, changing positions, posture, looking around, I sit next to a window (I’m disabled) so it gets bad some days.
56 here, diagnosed 5 years ago. You just described my life exactly.
I LOVE THE WAY THEY SAY BUBBY TO EACH OTHER
ADHD LOVE clips on TH-cam have made such a HUGE impact on me in my life, and hundreds of thousands of others as well! Discovering which behaviors are directly influenced by ADHD helps to normalize and make sense of actions which are looked upon as "shameful" by those who are neurotypical and have taught us that we are "wrong" for being affected in a non-standard manner. It's so true that many of us were never taught how to do things which are considered "basic" or "ordinary" to those who have done them for decades, but if you've never been taught the steps, it's perplexing to be bombarded with "information overload" without breaking it down into manageable, easy to comprehend actions. Being shunned, mocked, and discriminated against for simply "not knowing" or going about a task in a different manner is so hard on one's emotions, and THAT is even further alienating. BLESS YOU BOTH for giving people an opportunity to be seen, understood, normalized, and explained to both neurotypicals and neurodivergents alike. You literally help save lives! ❤
How awesome are they? Rox confirms my diagnosis in every video. I'm 54 so I went through the wringer as a child. So many things have been answered since. If everyone was like Rich what a wonderful world it would be.
Yea i need a man like this. Jfc
I dont even havn't ticktock, i found these two on FB, I bought their book. (best choice i have made recently)..... Made me see myself in a more understanding light. Also made me realise that my partner struggles too. We have made scheduled to help day to day. Thank you R and R. :)
I have just started reading it today, and tears are flowing. Thanks to Rich and Rox.
This channel was extremely helpful for me. I was also a late diagnoses like Rox and my husband is neurotypical like Rich. We also have a neurodivergent child.
Having this channel and their book to help explain certain things to him (my husband), it’s almost like having a buddy in Rich who is helping give him advice because he’s been there and it’s difficult explaining it myself.
And having comedy mixed in helps so much because it takes so much of the strain off. And we can laugh and talk about it without the pressure.
We watch their videos (well I do and then either send them or we watch them together) and we listen to the audio book together, they have opened up so many topics of conversation for us.
❤
Rich isn't neurotypical. He has strong Autism traits. Are you sure your Husband is neurotypical? Or is he just different from you? Neurodivergent often attracts neuro divergent.
I am 51, diagnosed at 47 with Adhd combined and ASD. I have been up all night as sleep is still a battle. For some reason looking at recipes was far more important then closing my eyes. The funny thing is, I am a 'can cook but won't ever cook, even if your life depends on it' kinda girl! So no matter how much I try and convince myself that I am going to make that Oreo cake, or bake those biscuits, it is never going to happen 🙄 Totally related to Roxy, people's judgments have become my sins and I am still working on removing the shame! We are a paradoxical tribe and our brain functions on an unusual frequency. Most struggle to find our place in society because the world has been designed by farmers whilst we are the hunters! It doesn't work for us no matter how many times they say it should! 😂
Roxanne, you make me feel like I’m not alone. ❤️😭
Roxanne and Richard you have validated my experience in every way! I can NEVER THANK YOU ENOUGH! Also, I tell everyone about you I know/meet whom I know either has, or they suspect that they might, have ADHD. Your channel has helped myself and my partner to be able to laugh at these challenges, which takes the sting out of them and also redirects the negative dialog I have with myself.
The teeth thing...I have struggled with that for all my life (almost 50 now). I can be sitting here at midnight, trying to find the energy/focus to get up and move the 3 metres and brush my teeth. Some nights I lose the battle and just go to sleep. And brush after lunch? That doesn't even enter into my brain. I am lucky I can do it once a day at the end. It's not just being lazy...it's just an inability to either do something, or it just doesnt even enter my brain to do it.
Once a day is better than not at all
Omg this is so funny...and so true..lemme just say, I've always thought brushing too close to the meal would leave a funny taste un your mouth or would prevent you from eating/drinking again soon after. Being Italian we looove to eat and we love shifts of food every couple hours like coffee/cake, then another dessert, then antipasto, then meal again. Luckily Im naturally very skinny 😂😂😂 but yeah, that sort of confuses it for me.
A lot of that just sounds like exhaustion. Dude, it's okay, just fall asleep comfortably, when you wake up, important thing is a nice full teeth cleaning with electric toothbrush, flossing, mouthwash and tooth whitening paste!! You have limitations, when you need to decompress, or sleep, don't fault or guilt yourself!!!
@@yogidevendrabiriyani1777 It's not exhaustion at all dude. I have been exhausted in my life. Nothing at all like that.
@@kendobc hmm ..i dunno, im adhd asd and near your age and i experience the same as you describe if i read it correctly. And i have loads of energy maybe half the time? maybe, but the other half is me forcong myself to sleep, eat, calm, relax, talk on phone ,care for hygiene etc. All those things then reinvigorate me- giving me more energy- however i need to stay mindfully-aware when i get that zombie, zone out feeling you describe to do them. I think the issue is we are often taught to associate "exhaustion" asa purely physical. Mental exhaustion occurs too very often in neurodivergent people.
The other option i suppose is some sort of ocd/medication issue where youre totally overstimulated. I dunno but it sounds like youre simply trying to attain perfection.
NO MEMOREY..OMG WHY IS IT LIKE THE FIRST TIME IVE HEARD THIS AT 47YO????
Love this interviewer, she really got the best out of everyone.
Why have I only heard ppl speak now of "no memory" for the first time now??? Cuz i alwqys assumed i had frontal lobe memory damage
Thank you for doing your bit, Jeremy Vine's producers and host. Thank you Rox and professor. And Rox, you didn't blag your 2:1, you earned it with a lot of hard work. Quit not acknowledging your successes.
oh wow I cried when your video aired and Richard said "so it's like you have two different brains"...Im convinced that me AND my partner of 15 years have adhd..we have different manifestations but the more Ive taken this seriously the more I understand us..like R&R, we were very destructive sometimes in our relationship. It is on a better road now x
Just came across your channel here on TH-cam and I’m so emotional and grateful, THANK you Rox and Richard for being wise and loving and persistent to create the videos - there’s tons of love and understanding. I’ve needed this so much ❤❤❤❤
That's a way too fast paced program for that sort of conversation X'D But all participants did as good as they could within that setting! As a super late diagnosed woman with ADHD this is all so relatable, I can't!
These two are, saving my brain and learning to understand my husband better. I thought I knew about adhd....not nearly as much as I needed
Attention
Dialled into a
Higher
Dimension
🙄
Worx for me!! 🎉
You guys are AMAZING!!!!!
Oh my days - I watched this on subtitles, and when the host starts talking to Richard, instead of 'you don't have ADHD Richard', it says 'you don't have idiots Richard' 🤣🤣🤣
Roxanne and Richard are such a sweet couple and lucky to have found each other.
Thank you so much for this! i wish we were taking it this seriously here in the States. Please keep up the good work! Many Blessings 💜🙏🏽🕊️
Also its VERY important to understans that attendance, lateness and deadlines arent just issues of hyperfocus, timeblindness, dopamine or frontal brain development BUT ACTUAL BRAINWAVES. When you sleep, your brainwaves NEED TO SHIFT IN ORDER TO WAKE UP. If youre adhd, you WILL OVERALEEP REGARDLESS OF HOW EARLY BEDTIME WAS
Great interview. I just wish it was an hour instead of 15 minutes!!!
Mixed beauty. I appreciate what you said there. Everyday is the most difficult day and its wading through mental mud, but suddenly i can write a song or poem out of nowhere most days. Not feeling shame, especially when parenting.
Im 53 and I have never made a bed. BTW: shared your youtube w/ my new psychiatrist just to let him know "ADHD Love" resonates with me hard. When I watch ur stuff; yes that has happed to me. yes. yes. yes. yes.
You're just going to have to unmake it again at night. Ive never seen a reason to
The video of understanding is SO CONFORTING !! , definitely my favorite!! 😃 😲 felt uplifted!!
14.04 I'm weeping. it could have saved my years.
Love these two. So helpful.
Their videos have been amazing!
Im sure there's some great discussions here but i just tuned in to say i love your hat! Yes, I'm autistic and ADHD (undiagnosed but i don't need a white coat to tell me). Keep on doing what you're doing! X
The brushing teeth issue reminds me of when as a child making myself late to leave for school trying to make a decision whether to brush before going to kitchen with other family members to be considerate as opposed to wanting to eat first & brush afterwards. Silly as this may sound I struggled with this. Of course the obvious solution is a bit of attention to the mouth before AND after eating .. avoiding a strong taste ( maybe a swish with warm salt water ) BEFORE the food so as not to ruin the taste but be presentable to others. As a kid that didn't occur to me & is just one example how my brain fought with itself.
They have certainly helped me. I love them.
Oh god, translation fail. "Richard, you dont have *idiots*" made me laughcry 😅😂😮😂 (3.22)
Best channel I’ve watched, ADHD or otherwise. #ADHDlove🥰 🕊️
Well done Rich and Rox! Massive well done also on getting to the studio on time 😂😂
At 62 years old in Los Angeles California I am fighting for my life.... I only have ADHD... And I'm being attacked by my family the authorities my neighbors... They say I'm schizophrenic and dangerous because I'm not acting "right"
I need a lawyer
I need resources
I'm so frustrated
I fought this shame my entire life.... And I've lived a very productive life with degrees and recognition... I taught school for almost 40 years
Many teachers have ADHD
But my community here in Glendora California are convinced that I am crazy because I am different
Please help me
I just can't do this anymore
49 and it finally has me paralyzed. Been diagnosed for a decade and tried all medications but it doesn't get better. Seeing things like this doesn't help if you can't implement the suggestions and it's really hard to keep up hope all alone.
Hey. I hope you're doing okay. *any wanted hugs* I'm struggling with mine, too.
Just diagnosed age 42 I think we have to follow our own path once we are diagnosed we just need to explore what works and doesn’t work for each individual
Here to support røzry ❤go girl 🎉
Bless these rwo. They changed my life.
I have only been diagnosed with combined type ADHD in June 2024 at 55. Now I’m adjusting and finding my way.
I love how hard Roxanne is laughing listening to the description.
Rox when she talks, reminds me of Sharon Osbourne.
The amount of callers and the huge differences in them...just shows how much society is longing for answers here. It's overwhelming
Love this couple! I just enjoy how they support each other’s neurodivergent eccentricities ❤🎉
This was wonderful until the host started to rush things at the 2nd question. Getting insight from somebody struggling and not just a professional would have helped a lot more. The woman from ADHD love was far more relatable.
The bit about late developing prefrontal cortex was helpful.
I'm in my late 70s, either out about 4 years ago that i have a lot of iADHD symptoms, found it difficult to persuade my GP to refer me because I'm not hyperactive, and then lost the referral.
I'd read that parts of the ADHD brain develop more slowly, but i was always a fairly bright kid, but crashed at University when i was 17-19, learnt more Latvian than Lagrangian multipliers in maths classes, read up on mediaeval Frisian in the library instead of learning about radii of gyration...
With a record of failure, i never thought I'd get back in, but at 23, having had my arm twisted repeatedly, i have it another try, and ended up with three degrees and a couple of other qualifications.
But I was always late to lectures, a last minute essayist, and a taker of copious notes -- it kept me moving and helped me maintain attention.
It has only struck me today that those years between high school and restarting Uni were brain-growing years.
I'm not diagnosed with ADHD but my older sister and my son is diagnosed with ADHD though and this is so interesting to know. I'm diagnosed with PTSD, borderline personality disorder, bi polar disorder 1, and Insomnia.
Great video
she is being very conservative with the age of maturation. The info I read in the USA is 25-28 for normal development. If ADHD is "behind" then they would be older, more like the age of maturation in the Jewish tradition, which is 30-33.
SMDH
We fairy fairy fairy love you this fairy Godmother is 52 and just been diagnosed and you have kept me sane thank you so much the fairies
I am obsessed with nails. NAIL ART😮 ITS ALL ABOUT NAIL ART RIGHT NOW!!! ❤💅
Talk about late my husband waited 2 hours for me on our first date 😂
Lol me 2
People showed me how to make a bed on the fly but one of my partners actually showed me. Changed the game (until I got bed posts😂)
Anyone else think the caller sounded like Karen Dunbar from Chewin' the Fat?
luv their channel, still don't know about dinasaur walk 🤣
It was as good as you can expect for a short segment on dead media like daytime telly lmao would have been way better as a podcast for like an hour and without the callers. I think there was so much more to discuss and a lot more that could have been achieved but it was definitely better than nothing.
Unrelated but Roxanne's music under the name 'RØRY' is really good if you like alternative stuff like pop punk etc
Some ND people can’t tune into podcasts though just doesn’t work for us. I have dual diagnosis of ASD (Aspergers) and combined ADHD and cannot for the life of me tune into podcasts
@Dancestar1981 True, I think all discussion is a step in the right direction but it wasn't in depth enough for me. I enjoy a lot of short form content on here for example.
Diet is so important as well as sleep. Not just medicine. Ugh, food today… 😩
Whoever coined “sleep when you’re dead” wanted to take out their competition.
🕊️ 🤗 🫶
Exactly. If I sleep less than 9 hours I will not be able to do anything the next day. Also taking days off for doing nothing. So good.
Also working within your own circadian rhythm patterns if that means going to bed at 3pm and not getting up until 12pm the next day so be it
"Food today"??????? I mean... i do live on the gulf coast but you could grow your own too... seeds are cheap on ebay... choose your food, it's common sense..
@@Dancestar1981omg yall so young!!!
@@yogidevendrabiriyani1777 I wish…boy do I wiiiiisssshhhhh. My body stopped allowing me to do that fun💩 years ago sadly. As luck would have it, right when I finally “bought a home” amd was truly able to. Please, cannot assume everyone’s situation.
I’m working my way, slowly, back to having a life again, but…blah…it’s a long story. Extenuating circumstances and all dat…as we all must experience those lifebergs & just “pray” we don’t sink.
Can still find decent food out there, but I just don’t wanna eat to begin with; I now take no pleasure in food cuz I don’t know what I’m doing beyond regular- bad for me -staple meals, so I eat the same thing every day til I can’t. 🫠🫤🥱
And then, pick a new meal and start all over again. Will eat a new menu for about a year or so. 🤷🏻♀️
Oh. I’m north of ya. Waaay north. Pennsyltucky. My parents just moved back. Winter birds in Port Ritchey FL, for 20+ years.
Best of luck w ur gardening!
Take care. 🕊️
Hi , thanks so much for this interview. As a 55 year old menopause and dyslexia ADHD is really stressful. Is there advice for this situation
He ‘discovered ADHD,’ she quietly cracks up 😂
It's amazing...I feel like maybe sone people will like us x
"It was so easy for him to be not talked about and it was so easy me to feel attacked." - A big worry for people diagnosed with ADHD
Yes scored high or a few tests the last one with Adhd West Yorks. I don't fit the criteria. Absolutely sickening tbh😢
One of the eaisest things for me is see how they react to coffee or caffeine. If they are more energetic then they typical. If they fall asleep they most likely a candidate for adhd
Eh? I'e always had coffee, even just before bed and it's never given my a caffeine buzz. It's a warm relaxing drink before bed for me.
"..all of the bad bits, around the bad bits..."😂😢
I feel like some of those callers weren't very specific. The one that said her grandson acted like he was 8, did she mean he just liked "childish" things or did she mean it literally? Cause that feels like a different diagnosis.
Roxanne Nd Richard are just wonderful. And Nancy is a breath of fresh air! So nice to hear from ND professionals.
I wish i could go to london and hang out with a cool adhd people like them...i could be the funny american 😂😂😂
“Bad bits” let’s not put a negative connotation on this!
She says 'Way more', LOL.
It sounded strange coming from the Phycologist.
She was bussin. So Rad. LOL!
Diagnosed ADHD a month ago.
Rox and Rich are great
The mother whose son needed a diagnosis may also want to get checked out herself. Sounds like she may have it too.
2020 lockdown... And internet algorithms..are THE only way i knew IT must be ADHD ... Flash forward to 2023... And it may be AuDHD. 😮👍😜
I simply can't get over how little patience, knowledge or structure we Gen Xers were offered as childre. THANKS MOM DAD AND FAMILY!! 😢😢😢
It’s just it wasn’t recognised then
@@Dancestar1981 WRONG. THey recognized it, they chose to NOT PARENT OR care for children including "normal" kids. This was generational.
....a little tip for you, given my years of life experience. It gets a lot easier the sooner you stop blaming your parents for your life. Its not a dig, just a factual comment 👍
There’s nothing wrong with mourning what might have been, I’m sorry for your struggles. Getting a diagnosis involved a fair bit of mourning as well as learning and moving forward.
@@Alloneword-cp2xw why are your "years of experience" an assumptuon? Maybe I'm older than you. Youre not even intelligent enough to read my comment and realize Gen X is 45 to 59 years old. And the less intelligent are always on about "not blaming", and religious concepts like "forgiveness".
I will continue to blame, hate and fight as much as I want. Im not weak like you. So stop judging and moralizing cuz no one cares.
It would be nice if programs like this discussed chronic illness that is very rarely given a voice.
There are a huge amount of people out there suffering with no help.
I have ME and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. And no one has heard about it, unlike ADHD.
We seem to be very focused nowadays on mental health. Whereas people who have suffered chronic illness like ME have been put in the corner and left to rot
Very good
I'm 54 years old and I have had a career of 31 years in the military. Its only now, because I have a girlfriend with ADHD, that I discover that I have most of the symptoms 🙄🙄😳
There lovely ❤
The doctor said one thing incorrectly. Not all of us a hyperactive. Hence the reason why I never got diagnosed.
Just wished i was more focused and not have such a busy mind. 😢 Its like having a fragmented mind 🤪
What test did the second caller say? Was that MMS? What is the official test for ADHD? Thanks!
Sleep. What is that? I've been prescribed Guanfacine for night meds, and on top of that I have tried Methyl Phenidate (10mg) before sleep, I have tried 4mg Melatonin, back on 10mg of MP, and I still cannot sleep through the night. The Dr is going to try some other drug if this (and it isn't) doesn't work. I miss using cannabis, that used to help.
Why cant u use Cannabis any more?
@@constantpresent It did not mix well with Methyl Phenidate (sp) plus I no longer know anyone I would trust to buy it from.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
If managing adhd based on sleep then I won’t agree sleeping making me uncomfortable and very tired after sleeping his more a part of anxiety and depression
Sweet doggy I hope he gets taken care of
Regarding money matters amd adhd...how can you help a person who struggles with wants and needs and the budget required to do it.
Perhaps he is more on spectrum, towards autism, than ADHD 11:58
I wondered that as well. Of course the doctor couldn’t suggest that on a quick call-in.
It's hard sister
How about they sort together, he runs the loads and she folds and puts away? He keeps track of the swap and she only thinks about it when he hands it off.