Over the years, MatPat has been teaching his audience how to survive: • pandemic crises (like a zombie outbreak) • TH-cam (as both creator and consumer) • literal gunfights (also see his *ancient* medkits video) • dates with real people (one frying pan is enough, though) • the all consuming rise of Disney (without losing all your money in the process) • and MORE The man and his research team have the beefiest brains for surviving 2020 and beyond EDIT: please add more to this list, I want as comprehensive a list of this stuff as possible!
honestly, I think he has made the sacrifice for us, so we may survive, while he being marked by every major organization in existence Military (teaching us how to counter BP armors) Government (pretty sure they have a few bones with him as well at this point) Disney (need I say more?) Skynet (or just evil AI in general) Aliens, evil scientist wishing for world domination using bio-engineer weapons some hidden Necromancer plotting their undead uprising take over. for humanity's future and survival, MatPat had bestowed upon us the knowledge at the risk of making himself the target. All hail our savior MatPat. #SaviorPat2020
@@warfacebreakout4274 NO NOT AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE MAKE IT TRULY REAL!!!!and make an armor that has flower texture so when combined it looks like your character is a grandma!
@@yuvalshohat3836 well, we do listen and our colleagues from other WF titles also. They will be happy to have a conversation about what made you unhappy - please, just ping st_vi #3221 in official Discord. As for F2P monetization model you mentioned - Breakout is B2P title with respectetive economics changes.
Grandma walks back out after a few drinks, having silenced the mob of ruffians. She looks at her pair of knitting needles and smiles. They have served her well today, and many times before.
Enemy : *trying to steal cookies* Grandmama : "Oh hoho... sweet peach...What has Granny tell you bout cookies before dinner?" Enemy : "No!! Wait!! I'll put it back please!! I swear!!!" Grandmama : "Time to knit some scrafs ;> "
Me: hey Gramma why do these scarves feel odd? Grandma: organic material :) Me: *enderman teleports away as crying child* Grandma: well sweetie couldn't handle scarves being made of human flesh.
Grandma's Knitting Needle, Though some may think it may not do much damage, it can puncture a lung or other vital organs causing internal bleeding and other effects not easily seen from an external wound. Most often, this causes slow painful death if not caught in time. If pierced in compressed areas like near the belts, may cause damage to occur after you remove the armor at the end of the day. (I watch murder mysteries like Sherlock and Detective Conan. Both have had episodes on Needles and Ice Picks.)
if the Devs are like: "Sounds funny, why not" then they are totaly my Cup of Tea. Dammit now i have to follow them so that i can find out if it Happens :)
@@abrakadabra4966 Dude, if that's the case make a retirement home map, or a custom end screen emote, where you're using one of those really old walkers. But yea, both teams, full grandma. It would have to be like a super high level unlock.
I presume the whole “knitting needle” concept is how flechettes work? (Most commonly seen in an armor penetrating shotgun shell that launches tiny needle like darts instead of the traditional rounded pellets)
@@caleba8645 the bullest resitant vests are not spike proof, spike proof armour is rare, and knitting needles count as spikes and can penetrate bullet and stab resistant armour
My family has an old nail gun that has to turn on a large machine in order to use the nail gun. Imagine having to lug a large pressurizer just to fire those nails lmao
That...wait...actually, that does explain why in battlefield hardline, the nail gun is so powerful. Considering it fires incredibly sharp projectiles, they can certainly pierce traditional kevlar body armor.
The grip used in Warface is called the “ice pick” grip named for the spike weapon commonly used in this way, the ice pick. Knitting needles tend to have a duller point, larger diameter, or are hollow. Thus reducing their effectiveness. I still back “Grandma’s knitting needles as an unlockable.
That said, assuming you have a solid needle, it wouldn't be hard to sharpen it pretty good. Plus, with a decent amount of force behind it (which the ice pick grip is excellent at achieving) even the fairly dull point of a knitting needle could penetrate quite deep into someones chest, so long as you miss the ribs.
I manufacture ballistic vests and I can tell you for a fact, the poly weave we use for bullet resistance is ABSOLUTELY stab resistant. Anything wider than a sewing needle is going to have a very hard time getting thru that stuff. And even then we have to use a specially designed sewing machine to get thru that material.
Just imagine a grandma on the battlefield, cackling maniacally and dashing around at blazing speeds with oversized knitting needles, stabbing her enemies with little mercy. "Honey dearest, you shouldn't be shooting at frail women like me."
10:54 Back in Ye Olde Days, leather armor used to be worn with silk underneath. This was because good silk was woven so well that piercing it was difficult. Leather was slash-resistant but not good for being pierced with a blade. Silk could be slashed right through, so people who wore leather armor wore silk underneath to be protected from both forms of attack. That is if they could afford the materials.
Gambeson actually holds up pretty well against sharp objects. It's just pointy stuff (i.e. spears) that you had to worry about. And that is why you use a shield. Also, even though Medieval Europe didn't use leather as a primary form of protection, they did use it in the making of Brigandine, which is comprised of many tiny metal plates riveted to an outer layer of leather.
2:34 So your team calls you spray and pray. Well that's nothing, cause my team calls me deadlock.(Mostly because by the the time I lock onto my enemy, I'm already dead.)
My teammates always have called me "md" which stands for medic dozer because in games like battlefield, tf2, and rainbow six siege I'm a medic character while in games like payday 2, battlefront 2, and call of duty I'm the very definition of the bulldozer while yelling into the mic sometimes "make way for the dozer."
_zumzumzum transition sound_ The date is 1100 BC. Egyptian army is in a need for a new close combat weapon, to replace the old bronze swords. _zumzumzum transition sound_ The knitting needle was invented by Sinuhe Egyptian. At first, it was popular with knitters for its effective and simple usage in knitting. After a couple of years, things would be different. _zumzumzum_ It's 2020. Sinuhe's weapon arouse interest among militaries around the world, for it's unique look and armour-penetrating stopping power. Its design is, actually quite perfect. Reliable, durable, mobile. And top of all else, It never runs out of ammo. _dudududu dududududu_ Silent Compact 14 inches, of pure steel The perfect choice for any aspiring knitter, or soon to be hitman. _Yes I did write an entire episode of Iconic Arms about knitting needles_
The thing about the Karambit is that because of its curved blade it can easily stab through the side of the armor, which as you said is a weak point, and when you pull it out you it would leave a gaping slash wound because of the curved blade once again.
Just gonna throw this out here: Warface Classic Free on Switch Almost no toxicity Certain gamemodes have infinite respawns Gives you the option of using MOTION CONTROLS to aim around, which I've never seen In Short: Good Game
MatPat: "I've been told by certain legally minded individuals on this channel..." Me: "Wait wait wait. Do you mean to tell me that legal authorities are just sitting over your shoulder as you record? Creepy"
Not true. Military gear is soft armor to sorta hold up the plate. If you are not wearing the plates you are out of uniform. Basicly all rifle rounds go threw soft armor. 9mm will be stopped by soft armor, everything else is very iffy but most likely will not be stopped. You are hoping they are hollow point.
"Spikes nullify armor," see also: why armor fell out of favor amongst sword fighters to begin with, the Rapier. A long, thin, flexible spike that could get between the plate joints on a suit of armor (or, in the case of a triangular serrated poignard, could be thrust THROUGH the plates themselves,) or between the rings of a chainmail, almost entirely invalidating the need TO wear armor. See Also: Cross bows and Long bows. See Also: Pikeman. See also: literally centuries of overcoming armor with spiked weapons.
the rapier was designed to be a Anti-chain mail weapon, not and Anti-plate armor weapon. the skinny point was so it could go through the holes in the chains. The plate's ended up making the rapier weaker as they could no longer attack anywhere at the body, only your opponents joints.
I just imagine a granny knitting little vests for the soldiers on her side before sneaking off to stab someone in the neck with her needles, then cleaning it off with a little lace kerchief.
There are no bots on [website name]. By the way, have you heard about [insert name of scammy site]? It's really cool game, that million of players all over the world are enjoying. If you visit the website today you'll get free [insert reward, that sounds cool, but isn't] Go to the link [insert virus link] and enjoy.
“Grandma’s Knitting Needles,” God matpat really does have some of the best game design ideas.
70 like
70 like
I'd get the game just for the knitting needles
I wanna see that in the game
He isn't wrong though
Petition for My Games to add Grandma's knitting needles to the armory.
Signed
I'm the 319th like, (assumption that the voting system is likes).
Signed, this is a great petition.
375th
@@IzukuMidoriya-yq4hb Agreed, this is among the greatest petitions in history.
Grandma's knitting needles actually does seem like an effective way to humiliate your enemies
yes
Then as an added taunt, you knit a sweater for his dead body.
It’s like getting killed by your grandma
Angel: “Hello, welcome to heaven brave soldier. So tell me, how did you die?”
Soldier: “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
yes this is true
I actually low key hope Grandma’s Knitting Needle makes it into the game.
Floor gang
I high key want it
AGREED
Same
If I hear that they did that I would actually play that game.
Imagine you see a guy sneaking up behind your team and he starts using grandmas knitting needles to kill your whole team
Omg I would be utterly shocked and confused I'd also be laughing my head off as well 😂🤣
“GUYS RUN THAT GUY’S STACKED”
“Whats he got”
“GRANDMA’S KNITTING NEEDLES”
"Knives only make you run faster if you're at the pointy end" That made me chuckle
Over the years, MatPat has been teaching his audience how to survive:
• pandemic crises (like a zombie outbreak)
• TH-cam (as both creator and consumer)
• literal gunfights (also see his *ancient* medkits video)
• dates with real people (one frying pan is enough, though)
• the all consuming rise of Disney (without losing all your money in the process)
• and MORE
The man and his research team have the beefiest brains for surviving 2020 and beyond
EDIT: please add more to this list, I want as comprehensive a list of this stuff as possible!
Scams too
And freaking killer robots that somehow are possessed by vengeful children 😅
honestly, I think he has made the sacrifice for us, so we may survive, while he being marked by every major organization in existence
Military (teaching us how to counter BP armors)
Government (pretty sure they have a few bones with him as well at this point)
Disney (need I say more?)
Skynet (or just evil AI in general)
Aliens,
evil scientist wishing for world domination using bio-engineer weapons
some hidden Necromancer plotting their undead uprising take over.
for humanity's future and survival, MatPat had bestowed upon us the knowledge at the risk of making himself the target. All hail our savior MatPat. #SaviorPat2020
• The hunger games
Also how to survive the literal HUNGER GAMES
“Knives only help you run faster when you’re on the pointy end”😂😂😂 touché mattpatt touché
Is it touchè or touch e????
Warface: Breakout developers if you see this, add Grandma's knitting needles and I promise you your sales will triple.
Tentuple
Actually a good idea to try out on April 1st!
@@warfacebreakout4274 NO NOT AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE MAKE IT TRULY REAL!!!!and make an armor that has flower texture so when combined it looks like your character is a grandma!
You guys haven't tried the regular warface right? Get ready for a shitty p2w game with shitty developers that won't listen to a thing you say
@@yuvalshohat3836 well, we do listen and our colleagues from other WF titles also. They will be happy to have a conversation about what made you unhappy - please, just ping st_vi
#3221 in official Discord. As for F2P monetization model you mentioned - Breakout is B2P title with respectetive economics changes.
Run from, dread it
*The Grandma Needle always arrives*
And now it is here.
How was your reply commented first? TH-cam drunk?
How?
Moral of the story: grandmas are as deadly as guns and only outranked in danger by explosions
@@dweebie seems dangerous to me m.th-cam.com/video/jEexefuB62c/w-d-xo.html
Okay, hear me out- grandma's equipped with grenades.
So that new Watch Dogs game is spot on then? Cool
Now I know why Nail Bombs exist!
@@idothings4091 Ok dat got me good i was like hm prob some small explosions coming but then the 1 sec BOOM
“Grandma’s knitting needles.” Me, a knitter: **Melee Assassin**
Me, a carver/whittler: *Ninja*
@@calvinscarvings.66 Wrong.
Edward Bo and how is that?
@@calvinscarvings.66 that wouldn't make you a ninja, simple as that, if your were a gardener/ farmer, then you would be.
Edward Bo ok and having knitting needles and being a knitter does?
MatPat: Researches for this video
FBI agent: Oh this guy again
Honestly, the FBI allows MatPat everything ATP
MatPat: Research’s for this video
FBI agent: FBI! Open up!
Fun fact: FBI doesn't flag this stuff. That's our job here at the NSA.
Payperheirplain
That is a fun fact tbh
Payperheirplain implying that you work at the nsa although if you did it would be illegal to release that information?
*Everbody was fighting with knives, while wearing soft body armor, till Grandma walks into the bar.*
Grandma walks back out after a few drinks, having silenced the mob of ruffians. She looks at her pair of knitting needles and smiles. They have served her well today, and many times before.
@@mrstorch5068 😆
Grandma: Ima show you the real deal stuff.
I'll only play this game if "Grandma's Knitting Needle" is added.
Agreed. If I hear they are added I will 100% buy it. Might not play but I will show support lol
same i will play it
Mee too xD just for grandma's knitting needles
I will buy it as well only if the knitting needles are added
same
Enemy : *trying to steal cookies*
Grandmama : "Oh hoho... sweet peach...What has Granny tell you bout cookies before dinner?"
Enemy : "No!! Wait!! I'll put it back please!! I swear!!!"
Grandmama : "Time to knit some scrafs ;> "
Me: hey grandma I love these scarves what are they mad of?
Grandma: a special material, don't worry it's all organic made with real animal products
turns on waffle maker with malicious intent
Its a totally organic material from your brothers *whispers* "skin" now lets what you want for dinner pancake face
Me: hey Gramma why do these scarves feel odd?
Grandma: organic material :)
Me: *enderman teleports away as crying child*
Grandma: well sweetie couldn't handle scarves being made of human flesh.
“Hey there sonny. That’s some nice armor you got there. You might want to backup otherwise you’ll find out why I love to knit so much.”
Low key heard that in your narrators pervy voice
"knit"
@pinkchicken are u stupid or dumb? thats the american way of spelling armor and the comment isnt edited
@@atomicks3467 are u stupid or dumb? When they say English, they mean British-English.
Everyone, your fighting over the way a stranger on the internet spelled the word armor.Think about that.....
Developer: Let's make the grandma knitting needle
Player: AAA crap, I got killed by a freaking grandma
Game: You were killed by player Ethel333
"Been playing since the cretaceous boiiiiiii!!"
-Grandma (probably)
This is out of context but I appreciate the ritsu pfp
I too don't like tripple A crap
Grandma's Knitting Needle, Though some may think it may not do much damage, it can puncture a lung or other vital organs causing internal bleeding and other effects not easily seen from an external wound. Most often, this causes slow painful death if not caught in time. If pierced in compressed areas like near the belts, may cause damage to occur after you remove the armor at the end of the day.
(I watch murder mysteries like Sherlock and Detective Conan. Both have had episodes on Needles and Ice Picks.)
I was just thinking as i read "hm this reminds me of a detectiv conan episode", when i saw the end of your comment. a person of culture as well
People greatly underestimate the deadliness of long needles.
its a shark piece of metal, of course it would do damage
Just modify a nail gun to fire knitting needles, long distance home made spike launcher
Dude.
Wtf.
This is how I realized how my grandma survived wars.
I'm just saying, if "Grandma's Knitting Needle" makes it into the game, I'll legit get and play this game in a heartbeat lol
Same
Amen.
same
Ikr
Grandmother's knitting needles is definitely a way to humiliate players using soft armour
Ok ok real talk. Ill actually play this game if Grandmas Knitting Needles become a thing
Same and I hate playing shooters on console
@@ShiranaiNeko yeah thats not what I said. Interject your own unrelated opinions on someone else's comment
if the Devs are like: "Sounds funny, why not" then they are totaly my Cup of Tea. Dammit now i have to follow them so that i can find out if it Happens :)
*Prays for that to happen*
Same
When Warface actually adds the Knitting Needles, Add a Grandma skin. Maybe the other team will feel guilty
Edit: Thanks for all the likes!
only until the grandma destroys them XD
As if both teams wouldn't be full grandma
MURDEROUS GRANDMA
@@abrakadabra4966 Dude, if that's the case make a retirement home map, or a custom end screen emote, where you're using one of those really old walkers. But yea, both teams, full grandma. It would have to be like a super high level unlock.
YES!
I literally thought that when mat said “grandmas knitting needles” he had a sponsor related to that
I presume the whole “knitting needle” concept is how flechettes work? (Most commonly seen in an armor penetrating shotgun shell that launches tiny needle like darts instead of the traditional rounded pellets)
Exactly. Won't do a lot of damage like buckshot or a slug from a shotgun or FMJ or hollow points from pistols and rifles.
I did not know those types of bullets exist thx
i got an effective weapon. An italian dagger called a stiletto. Its got no blade but a really fine point.
The one thing I hate is he didn’t mention that you can just avoid the armor, so karambit would prolly be best bc of the deep cuts
Orion Foxx the problem is knowing where to attack to avoid the armour, which isn’t always possible in real world scenarios
I think “Grandma’s knitting needle” was Matpat’s way of making a Sherlock video without actually making a Sherlock video.
What's a Sherlock video?
Daniel Irwin woosh
@@iterumconare4258 Matpat constantly references BBC's Sherlock within his videos, but he has never actually made a video about the series.
Soldiers be like: "Hey did you bring your grandma's knitting needles?"
yes..........why
does your grandma need them
The maker of this vest knit them neatly, and I'm gonna undo it with Nan's knitting needles and dad's 9 inch nail gun
yEs tO mAkE a mAsSaCrE
@@caleba8645 the bullest resitant vests are not spike proof, spike proof armour is rare, and knitting needles count as spikes and can penetrate bullet and stab resistant armour
Game Theory is the show that teaches us that sometimes grandma is the real assassin.
Me in a fight: * brings a nail gun * haha, thanks Matt
take scrapnel nades. those will most surtainly pack a punch~
Same thought. Bring a nail gun to a riot
There used to be a nail gun weapon in cod
Bring a Requiem arrow
-Giorno Giovanna Probably
My family has an old nail gun that has to turn on a large machine in order to use the nail gun. Imagine having to lug a large pressurizer just to fire those nails lmao
Mat Pat: I may have over thought this game... a little to much
Mat Pat 2 years ago: *Literally makes a theory about a meme*
Wich one?
I could miss my guess, but i think it was the buff-suki meme from doki doki litterature club.
He’s made theories on multiple memes
Tarkanamastecito probably the super saiyan shaggy
*makes a theory on luigi's pp size*
Me: Sees knitting needles are effective against kevlar.
This whole Skyrim grandma thing is getting out of hand
Actually, he didn't say it's effective against kevlar but against polyethylene fibers made soft armor
@@Nautiliam isn't kevlar also a kind of viber?
Verto No the PE fibers are different. Kevlar is stronger and tighter than the Polyethylene fibers. Not just fibers in general. Fiber. fiBer.
@@james737er I had to read your name several times to figure out what was going on.
Someone: ( get stabbed in the back with two needles)
Grandma: get wrecked sonny
Me: hey gran gran
Grandma: yes sweetie?
Me: can I borrow your needles?
Grandma: why?
Me: *I gotta go to war*
lol
Grandma: Ok, but make sure you pick up some milk on your way back! Also, here's a scarf i made for you.
Grandma says or then her grabs needles that cut anything
@lazarlazarwantfiveothemyeet mysecondaccount but would larger needles really be good at sliding their way through the fibers??
Xd
*swat team breaks in my house*
*Swat team* "we have you surrounded and we are wearing body armor"
Me:*LAUGHS IN NAIL GUN*
the crusader *yells in grandma’s knitting needles*
*LAUGHS IN HEADPHONE JACK*
That...wait...actually, that does explain why in battlefield hardline, the nail gun is so powerful. Considering it fires incredibly sharp projectiles, they can certainly pierce traditional kevlar body armor.
Nah laughs whilst knitting
Johnny Joestar: Tusk Act 4
I’m too early that most of the comments are bots saying “who else is a fan of *insert random youtuber *”
Before may
The problem of being faster than the speed of light is that you always live in darkness
Who else is a fan of wadzee
Such is the struggle of the notification squad 😅
Sir Nerdy are you a member of the wahwah army?
11:35
As someone who played Far Cry 3 and knows about this knife, this was a suprise to be sure, but a welcome one
oh man "P.E.W.P.E.W" got me real good. laughed for a solid 10 min
#Pewdiepie
@@wowkay6220 no
Foggy NightZ yes
I really don't think you should be laughing that long
The grip used in Warface is called the “ice pick” grip named for the spike weapon commonly used in this way, the ice pick. Knitting needles tend to have a duller point, larger diameter, or are hollow. Thus reducing their effectiveness.
I still back “Grandma’s knitting needles as an unlockable.
That said, assuming you have a solid needle, it wouldn't be hard to sharpen it pretty good. Plus, with a decent amount of force behind it (which the ice pick grip is excellent at achieving) even the fairly dull point of a knitting needle could penetrate quite deep into someones chest, so long as you miss the ribs.
Imagine Grandma’s Knitting needles are added to one of the most toxic communities ever such as CSGO
that would be good lmao
It dose bonus shame damage
@@saltywhite that's not how you spell does
@@vicejacob776
Cuul
@@vicejacob776 You forgot to put a period at the end of the sentence.
I manufacture ballistic vests and I can tell you for a fact, the poly weave we use for bullet resistance is ABSOLUTELY stab resistant. Anything wider than a sewing needle is going to have a very hard time getting thru that stuff. And even then we have to use a specially designed sewing machine to get thru that material.
People who use Knives and Riot shields in Call of Duty: “Allow us to introduce our selves.”
Call of duty: am I a joke to you?
*knives and selves
Brandon Wilde Just let the guy say selfs
Brandon Wilde sometimes you gotta live with your mistakes and learn from them.
Edit: Screw it, it bugs me.
Nah bruh. Sheilds are cheating
NAIL-gun: “I am inevitable”
scout from tf2 abandonned the nail gun, smh
Laughs in tf2 Classic.
Railway rifle.
@@mgamerpapadakis1448 from fallout 4
Wait there are nail gun
So what you’re saying is that I should wear medieval armor at all hours of the day to avoid getting mugged?
yes. yes he is.
ᗷᑌT ᘜᖇᗩᑎᗪᗰᗩ ᑕᗩᑎ ՏTIᒪᒪ ᑭIᗴᖇᑕᗴ Tᕼᗴ Տᗰᗩᒪᒪ ᒍOIᑎTՏ
Chainmail armour has small holes in it. Knitting needles are going right through that stuff.
@@Sleepy-yp4wx That is why you wear silk!
Well the first gun was made in medieval times. But apparently it was a big problem for those who had a castle.
"Grandma's Knitting Needle" sounds like an easter egg in some other games lol
Just imagine a grandma on the battlefield, cackling maniacally and dashing around at blazing speeds with oversized knitting needles, stabbing her enemies with little mercy.
"Honey dearest, you shouldn't be shooting at frail women like me."
Oh god thats terrifying
*maniacal laugh intensifies* Dearest, you've chosen the wrong grandma to Knit with!
Shes Naruto running at 900 miles per hour stabbing her enemies with needles and wearing her sweater that she made
@@shrek5485 scientist proved naruto run makes you slower try nezuko upside down V pose run.
*RESPECT YOUR ELDERS*
Breaking News: New grandma bingo team gunning down authorities with modified knitting needle rifles.
10:54 Back in Ye Olde Days, leather armor used to be worn with silk underneath. This was because good silk was woven so well that piercing it was difficult. Leather was slash-resistant but not good for being pierced with a blade. Silk could be slashed right through, so people who wore leather armor wore silk underneath to be protected from both forms of attack. That is if they could afford the materials.
Nice to know thanks.
Saddly that almost no one used leather armor, they use gambeson armor which is way cheaper and easier to make and repair
"if they could afford"
Hit me hard man
@@TheZenytram and a bullet resistant vest is the same thing except on a smaller scale.
Gambeson actually holds up pretty well against sharp objects. It's just pointy stuff (i.e. spears) that you had to worry about. And that is why you use a shield.
Also, even though Medieval Europe didn't use leather as a primary form of protection, they did use it in the making of Brigandine, which is comprised of many tiny metal plates riveted to an outer layer of leather.
MatPat teaching us how to take down military units in heavy armor is crazy. I absolutely adore it.
The knitting needle is an elegant weapon for a more civilized age...
_hello_ _there_
you got the high ground
@@tatotaytoman5934 General Kenobi...
I don't like knitting needles
@@chrishansen1842 hush
2:34 So your team calls you spray and pray. Well that's nothing, cause my team calls me deadlock.(Mostly because by the the time I lock onto my enemy, I'm already dead.)
My teammates always have called me "md" which stands for medic dozer because in games like battlefield, tf2, and rainbow six siege I'm a medic character while in games like payday 2, battlefront 2, and call of duty I'm the very definition of the bulldozer while yelling into the mic sometimes "make way for the dozer."
I have no games i can play a team on :P
@@smallgyro4932 same
My team calls me jump and bump of just the assassin cause I like to sneak attack
@@smallgyro4932 u probably have TF2-
The knitting needle;
Old school
Classic
Deadly
Yes I’ve been rewatching Ahoy
Silent
Compact
14 inches of pure steel
The perfect choice for any aspiring knitter, or soon to be hitman.
OCD
_zumzumzum transition sound_
The date is 1100 BC.
Egyptian army is in a need for a new close combat weapon, to replace the old bronze swords.
_zumzumzum transition sound_
The knitting needle was invented by Sinuhe Egyptian.
At first, it was popular with knitters for its effective and simple usage in knitting.
After a couple of years, things would be different.
_zumzumzum_
It's 2020. Sinuhe's weapon arouse interest among militaries around the world, for it's unique look and armour-penetrating stopping power.
Its design is, actually quite perfect.
Reliable, durable, mobile.
And top of all else,
It never runs out of ammo.
_dudududu dududududu_
Silent
Compact
14 inches, of pure steel
The perfect choice for any aspiring knitter, or soon to be hitman.
_Yes I did write an entire episode of Iconic Arms about knitting needles_
Aurinkomakkara Ahoy, hire this man
The thing about the Karambit is that because of its curved blade it can easily stab through the side of the armor, which as you said is a weak point, and when you pull it out you it would leave a gaping slash wound because of the curved blade once again.
Just gonna throw this out here:
Warface Classic
Free on Switch
Almost no toxicity
Certain gamemodes have infinite respawns
Gives you the option of using MOTION CONTROLS to aim around, which I've never seen
In Short: Good Game
Goldenboy I Lowkey really want it
I play it all the time
Ooooo free on switch
Is it available (free) on other platforms? Good practice until I can afford this game *wink-wink
True
Theory: how do the plants in ‘Plants Vs Zombies” exist
they just do
that's a good idea. matpat should do that theory.
Zombie's exist, so it's feasible that the same thing that brought the dead back to life also brought the plants to life.
Isn’t there an explanation? Like Crazy Dave spilled something on the plants and they came to life or something like that
@@thatonesentientbagel4043
Sure, but what did he spill? What is that good stuff made out of? What if a human drinks it?
Swat team : hands in the air get down on the floor
Grandma : no , i dont think i will
Call the ambulance But not for me
Grandma: Mostly because I'll break my back if I try, but I also got this knitting needle so no.
Grandma doesn't want to dance with us
No matter how old this video is, it's still relevant that teams are never balanced in classes. As a support medic, this makes me go insane.
MatPat: that’s me, the MVP, definitely
Me: press X to doubt
X
X
x
X
X
"What harm is she gonna do? She's just an o- OH GOD SHE'S GOT A NEEDLE"
*Killed By grandma1965*
Jah'Kir Lane XD
1969
Grandma's still in her 50s?
Ok matpat, you convinced me. I'll bring my grandma knitting needles next time when I return to school.
Hol up!
@@endernightthedrokain1770 it's just to defend against the quiet kid
I just straight up said "oh no!" out loud and my parents thought that it was actually something serious I'm so embarrassed rn XD
Wut? Oh no
r/cursedcomments
11:08
*flashbacks to when Gerard said "It's pretty stabby" at the Return show*
MatPat: "I've been told by certain legally minded individuals on this channel..."
Me: "Wait wait wait. Do you mean to tell me that legal authorities are just sitting over your shoulder as you record? Creepy"
Together with him in the closet
After his recent web searches yes, yes they do.
I’m only gonna buy this game, ONLY if they add grandma’s knitting needle
Well it’s free so just get it..
@ConnorBennett shhhh It’s so they add it
Same
@orang Oops, sorry
2020: Us soldiers be bringing guns and knives
2025: Us soldiers be raiding grandams house for ww3
"I'm sorry ma'am, but we need your supply of army weapons."
@@hahani17 Don't forget the cookies
Bro its knitting
@@hahani17 "What army weopons? Young man, I'm not a criminal."
@@nataliamidzio did we say army weapons, we mean knitting needles
" grandmas needles "
" screw drivers "
Grandma archers and engineer crossbowers who watch matpat : *its showoff time*
Looks like we'll be building sentries and makin cookies with dell and grandma
@@strengthcoachsc8669 until they get sapped
*SPAHS SAPPIN MY COOKIES*
My brain: bow in modern combat???? That could work
*just comes in with a massive bow and swords that have been bent to become aerodynamic*
time to show this lot how its realy done
Never knowing the games doesn’t affect the enjoyment of the theories 🤣
I watch all of game theory videos even though I don’t know a tenth of the games
Same 😂😂
Epikturtle yep
Matt just a lovable man
It just came out today i think
The US: spent millions of dollar on military spending and bulletproff vest
Grandma's knitting neddle: I'm about to ruin this country whole carrier
@pinkchicken it's a joke...
pinkchicken A terrible uneducated joke but a joke that you aren’t supposed to take seriously
pinkchicken bet you’re fun at parties
Not true. Military gear is soft armor to sorta hold up the plate. If you are not wearing the plates you are out of uniform.
Basicly all rifle rounds go threw soft armor. 9mm will be stopped by soft armor, everything else is very iffy but most likely will not be stopped. You are hoping they are hollow point.
@pinkchicken so what? Why do you care how he spells a word. Are you that miserable?
Nothing better than an ad with Matt pats voice before an entire episode of Matt Pat!
I can picture it now: "You were killed by _______ using knitting needles."
Best joke ever
You were killed by TheLegend27 using Knitting Needles.
You killed NoobMaster69 with Knitting Needles!
You were killed by SkyrimGrandma using Knitting Needles
“Grandma’s death”
"Grandma's knitting needles"
Ah yes, the sweater is defeated by the knitting tools
This made me laugh. Thanks
"I brought you into this world, and by God I can take you out of it!"
* smacks lips * noice the delectable taste of irony.
You cannot surpass the creator
The very thought of Grandma’s knitting needles gives me the shivers
Grandma's hat pin is even more terrifying.
grandmas knitting needle: is the best choice
Spy: another lightsaber for my collection
10:10 Even full suits of armour have vulnerable areas, usually at the joints and neck.
He specifically mentioned that in the video
Matpat: “wanna humiliate your opponent? Use grandma's knitting needles!”
Me: *WHEZE*
Not gonna lie, I laughed so hard I blew snot on my phone.
Matpat: "grandmas knitting needles"
Me: *looks at my knitting needles*
"grandma's knitting needles"?
how about john wick's pencils.
Corporate needs you to find the difference between this picture and this picture
They're the same picture
Have you guys seen my dog lately?
Too OP.
I dont want a autograph of john wick...
Graphite would actually break after a few times of use and it wouldnt deliver as much damage
"Spikes nullify armor," see also: why armor fell out of favor amongst sword fighters to begin with, the Rapier. A long, thin, flexible spike that could get between the plate joints on a suit of armor (or, in the case of a triangular serrated poignard, could be thrust THROUGH the plates themselves,) or between the rings of a chainmail, almost entirely invalidating the need TO wear armor. See Also: Cross bows and Long bows. See Also: Pikeman. See also: literally centuries of overcoming armor with spiked weapons.
Nice!
What about one of those Roman wall shields
@Kaiser Franz von Lappen der 2. Not normally at least, an arrow might just do it
the rapier was designed to be a Anti-chain mail weapon, not and Anti-plate armor weapon. the skinny point was so it could go through the holes in the chains. The plate's ended up making the rapier weaker as they could no longer attack anywhere at the body, only your opponents joints.
It was the firearm that made armor obsolete, and even that took a while.
Nobody:
Not even matpat:
Me: you posted a video on a weekday? That’s illegal!
Nobody:
Unfunny people who use this dead and unfunny meme format: (That's you Jevil)
It always feels great when Matpat's getting onto something and you know before he says it
My opponent: has a shotgun Me: has a kntting needle. also me: kills them
America:*is having a lot of civil unrest and riots*
Matpat: "here's the best way to pierce the armor of swat and police officers!"
And how to protect yourself from them.
Edit: From the weapons.
"Grandma's knitting needles"
MEGA YIKES
How did he not mention this😂
You have to get up close to them, and assuming that they will just stand there and take it instead of pumping you with lead.
Me: qeues up for ranked as a solo
My team: all DMRs
Enemy Team: all shields
matpat I like your theories but Karambit can be used as 1 hit KO by hookyng the neck because it is not protected by a vest
Me not even knowing this game: InTEreStIng TheOrY
Same
It's sponsored, jackfrags also made a video about this game
Same
Yep
I always wondered why my grandma keeps a needle in her bag 😂
Me: *Sees title of video*
Also Me: Hmmmmm.....
Still Me: He's got to be on soo many FBI watchlists...
I don't think he is never not on the FBI's watchlist with everything both he and Austin look up.
Particularly their TH-cam subscription list
I've never played this, but if they add Grandma's knitting needle I'll definitely give it a try
Same
I play it but they still did not add it :(
I just imagine a granny knitting little vests for the soldiers on her side before sneaking off to stab someone in the neck with her needles, then cleaning it off with a little lace kerchief.
Lol
Calling a game ‘the tiktok of fps’ isn’t exactly a compliment
True
Fortnite is the Tik Tok of video games.
@@Vinnay94 FACTS
yep
@@Vinnay94 words cannot be expressed as wise as this
heres how: knives can't run out of ammo
Aidan Snyder
Vietnam is very humid. Optimal for jamming.
Knives are always more reliable. Especially when they can also double as survival tools to make pretty much anything you need.
They can run out of sharpness or durability
why does this video feel like it was made in 2016? It just gives me the old school game theory vibes and i love it!
So really what you're saying is to bring a rapier to a gunfight.
@cookie kingdom The foil might have issues dealing with the armor, being far too pliable, the Rapier is your better choice.
Me: *watching video*
Granny: where are you?
me: *intense sweating intensefies*
You forgot the most deadly weapon in the world...
*Lego caltrops* =_=
bro your the only one that will make a simple question into a complacated question, i love it.
FBI when they look at MatPat’s search history: OwO
It’s probably just, “what is in body armor” “what is soft armor” “what is hard armor” “can gramma knitting needles Pericles body armor”
FBI: owo what's this?
Has he gotten a sponsorship from NordVPN yet?
What’s this?
@N VL What do you Mean ?
His username was “Portable_Drama5”.
That username would fit with a Karen.
?
RhysDX **sigh**
Ajahha 😂
Heh
hehe penguinz0 karen hehe
So early that it’s just the bots, wow.
Remember when there were no bots on TH-cam?
Nah, me neither.
There are no bots on [website name]. By the way, have you heard about [insert name of scammy site]? It's really cool game, that million of players all over the world are enjoying. If you visit the website today you'll get free [insert reward, that sounds cool, but isn't]
Go to the link [insert virus link] and enjoy.
Plot twist: you are also a bot
I remember when there weren’t children on TH-cam.
I actually remember though
Plot twist: We are bots.
Matpat: Trys his best to make the game seem unique
Me, who plays COD and PUBG:
When cops watching this start busting into grandma's house to confiscate the needle
Or, Tuesday in the UK...
Yeah, not in good ol merica
Be careful soldier, there are a lot of bots down there
You’ll need these: 🏹 🛡 🗡
Thanks man
i will use these weapons with honor... and GLORY
Thanks 😌
I will use this better 🔫
Thanks!
Please tell me they added "Grandma's Kniting Needles"
I hope so
Nope