She didn't ask him to give her money for her haircut: she asked him if she could BORROW it. I hope she sues him in small claims for the rest of the money she paid out to support his sorry self.
The first story drove me insane. I have a 9 year old, he is autistic and can struggle to understand boundaries. He was outside playing one day and we got a knock on the door from a neighbour saying that he had climbed our wall and ventured into their garden. What happened? We explained boundaries ad nauseum and it was clear he wasnt mature enough to be outside alone so we were always supervising from then on. It was almost a year ago and i still make sure he is always in my eye line 🤷🏻♀️
Teacher here. Parent should always notify school and teacher if there are dietary restrictions. Then the teacher should follow the instructions provided by parents. It’s ultimately up to parents to share this information.
To be fair, the only person we heard mention allergies was OPs son, so, it’s possible he didn’t remember or communicate it accurately. OP didn’t say the kid or her parents ever said she was gluten free.
As for the girl who went "below the belt" that girl was NTA. She stood her ground. The guys who insulted her and her friends are absolutely assholes. Also, wild to assume that her insult towards his nether regions is race specific. If they had been any other nationality and she made the same insult, what energy would they have brought?
I don’t think she did mean it as a racial insult, I honestly think she meant it as a male centered insult. It didn’t sound like she went in on that specifically because of his race to me, and it was only after her friend pointed it out that she realized it, but maybe I misinterpreted it.
While , I think it was racial it did feel like a fighting fire with fire thing. Also, her friend is trash for being more concerned about her response then a guy calling her ugly unprovoked. It doesn’t matter that not everyone will find her attractive, no one needs to voice that.
It's not such a wild assumption since it happens to Asian men all the time, but in this case, speaking as an Asian woman, I'd be looking the other away regardless. The only problem is that, as is the case with any other situation like this, fighting fire with fire like this only perpetuates the stereotypes being used. So I'm conflicted, but not enough to call her the a-hole.
People should not be able to sue you for trespassing onto your property then having an accident. It’s private property. I’m not bringing in anymore snacks. Easy as that.
My son is 8. If he did that, I would have been PISSED at my kid because I would already be assuming I would be paying for damages and don't have that type of money right now.
On the second story, as a extremely picky eater, with sensory issues (autistic), I've learned my entire life to just bring my own snacks in case the place I'm going don't offer anything to my taste. If it was actual allergy that would be dangerous, what if I eat something mistake or got cross contamination. But I never stop my entire class from having something they enjoy if there's a easier solution.
21:29 Gluten allergy and celiac disease are two completely different things. Celiac is an autoimmune disease that the smallest intake (even cross contamination) causes the body to attack itself. The only cure is a gluten free diet. Failure to do so can cause more health issues (GI issues, fatigue, low bone density, infertility, cancer, mental health issues, etc.) As a celiac, I’m used to people saying it’s “not a real disease” Love how you tried to understand the difference.
It is very good to see. My friend's mom has celiac. The amount of times we've yelled at her boyfriend for touching/eating gluten items and then touching something else without washing his hands could be a novel. Poor mom had issues for a year before he finally learned. People really don't understand how severe celiacs is and how different allergies are from diseases. Also, really appreciate the knowledge of how gluten affects PCOS. The body craves the bread, but at what cost 😅 As someone with it, it's really nice seeing people be more aware of the nuances.
Saying something is “an attractive nuisance” and that’s why someone can’t control themselves and therefore the victim of the crime is actually to blame is wildly similar to blaming the victims of SA because of their level of attractiveness and dress. Also why don’t the parents of the kid with allergies in the second story just take over snack responsibility since they know what snacks their kid is allowed to eat? There actually are really great snacks for gluten free and nut free kids but they tend to be more expensive because they usually come from healthier stores like Natural Grocers or Sprouts… so asking for the original volunteer to do that for the whole class in order to accommodate one kid seems a little unfair. Especially when he’s unaware of absolutely everything their kid needs. It seems like the simplest option is for them to take over (without bringing just saltines and buttered noodles because that’s not healthy for every day.)
Excellent comparison about SA victims and their clothing. And I mostly agree about the snacks; however, I think the parents of the picky child should just send that kid with their own "special" snack every day. Imagine changing what everyone eats for that one kid, and changing it to saltines. Do you think the other 20 kids are going to be happy with that every day? Absolutely not. You cannot please everyone, so the one outlier has to figure out what to do for themselves instead of trying to make everyone else change for them. ESPECIALLY when they're just picky and there is no danger involved. Peanut allergy? Absolutely. Don't allow nuts in the classroom, but if someone simply does not enjoy many foods, that's a them problem.
@ that’s kinda what I’m getting at. The parents of the picky kid are essentially demanding the dad do just that - send snacks for every kid in that class that their kid can eat… but he doesn’t know what he can send because there’s so many restrictions. So why wouldn’t they be the ones to take it over? Instead of him being responsible for it. That doesn’t make any sense to me. I absolutely agree your idea is the simplest solution but it sounds like that was shot down already in the story (unless I’m misunderstood.) Otherwise, if one parent is supposed to provide for the whole class while still including that kid, I think the most common sense solution is to have the parents of the picky kid take over with the rule that it can’t be saltines.
@@funnyfoxbird it might not apply legally, but I'm just explaining the meaning of the term. Sometimes some fences, especially tall ones with locked gates (or no gates), will be legally enough, sometimes more it required.
Parents telling their kids to just lie about being allergic to a certain food when the kid just doesn't like that food is actually more common than you might think. Those kids then often grow up thinking everyone who says they have an allergy are just picky eaters who don't want to eat that food, something that is a very big issue as other stories might have showed..
Story 6: What’s weird is John said that OP is NTA, but then goes onto describe a time when he gave up a tradition to make sure his partner was able to do something she needed in a compromise. Basically his story is saying she IS the AH for not being willing to compromise. He may not think that he’s going to lose the relationship because the guy is mad that he’s trying to please his wife. But people drift apart if you refuse too many invites, I think that’s what he’s worried about. Lastly, it is so weird to be captivated by the date. The tradition literally could happen at any time before the holiday. The date shouldn’t be the only thing that makes the tradition special, what if she gets pregnant around that time and they can’t follow through, is she so rigid that that ruins the tradition forever? It does also sound like she’s trying to make him feel the same way about that tradition, and it’s fine for him to not feel that it’s special.
John’s “SAY IT!” reverberated within my petty soul 😂 p.s. I’m a petty b*tch so I’ll still make snacks that I want for the kids but I will give 2 Saltines to that one kid.
Story about the guy who wanted to go to a trip with his friend. I think OP is somewhat an AH. Its not like he goes out everyday. He even proposed an alternative but OP was just selfish. She could have gone a weekend later or earlier.
I had a similar situation to the first story. Growing up, we lived in the countryside (no neighbors for about a mile and a half), and a new family moved into the closest homes. The sons of the family would hike up to our house when no one was home and just do whatever they wanted. One day, my dad found two of his coy fish dead on the ground, and the pool net was next to them. These kids had just left them there to die. The neighbors refused to admit their sons did it even though the front door security camera had shown them on the property that day; fast forward to a year later, when we got a call from the dad, who was threatening to sue us. We had a serious rattlesnake infestation where a bunch of rattlesnakes lived under where the automatic pool cover would retract. It wasn't uncommon for rattlesnakes to be on the first few steps into the pool cooling off. One of these dumbass kids stepped on one while breaking into our pool and got bit. The dad accused us of it being our fault (using the same language of it being an attractive nuisance, which, btw is a legal term for something dangerous and attractive to children) because we hadn't closed the pool cover that day. Btw there were like 4 of these boys, all aged over 12...
@ my dad and their dad both kept telling each other to go f themselves and nothing ever actually happened 😅 then like 3 years later the entire neighborhood burned down in a wildfire and we moved so they aren’t neighbors anymore
I don’t agree with “no politics or controversial topics” because me (and people like me) literally just existing, is seen as political and controversial
The last OP was the AH. The husband finally found a friend (and friends are really important and for some people hard to find) and she insists on this specific weekend for something they can do at another weekend in the holiday season.
Okay so the story about dissing the man's size.... Confuses me. A man dissing a girl like that should expect to have his "manhood" dissed, regardless of color. That's the first thing that would pop into my head... women find "pride" in their total body beauty but hey! It's even CALLED manhood. On another note: lighter skin has traditionally been valued throughout the world. It's also a statement of wealth. Back in the day wealthy people could spend the day inside, not working in the sun. However, NOW wealthy people can AFFORD to be outside. Spending so much time outside lying around tanning EVENLY is a HUGE sign of privilege in America so its changed
With the contract story, how is it being enforced? If the sister isn't the host how does she expect to enforce those expectations? It wouldn't be her place to kick out someone who breaks the rules. That makes it relatively meaningless.
Sorry but gotta disagree with the guys on the last story, I do think OP is a bit of an AH. Making friends when you're an adult is difficult, especially for men. It doesn't sound like the husband has an active social life, so it's really important to try to foster those opportunities when they come up (because it's healthy to have a social life outside your marriage!). The husband offered compromise (like moving it to another weekend), but OP wouldn't budge at all and was mostly just thinking about her own feelings. Which I'd be more understanding if it was an activity that could only happen that weekend (which it doesn't) OR it was the only tradition they have around that time of year... but it's the weekend before Thanksgiving and the start of the holiday season - there's loads of traditions people do as families during that time. The fact the husband had to reschedule the trip for JANUARY implies to me that they already have many holiday traditions that they do that OP neglected to mention, so that weekend really was the only time they could do that trip. Like traditions are nice, but not every tradition should be set in stone. You gotta allow for some flexibility.
The story with the snacks…while it’s not unheard of young kids to express “this makes me hurt/feel itchy” as “I don’t like that,” it does seem a little sus that the allergies are all of the sudden coming up after expressing that they don’t like the provided foods, with “safe” foods that are typically preferred by picky eaters, and the “safe” foods are foods that would need to be carefully evaluated to accommodate her allergies. Buttered noodles? You’d have to make sure they were gluten free. Saltines? They aren’t gluten free but you could get an analog with gluten free table crackers, but they’re specifying SALTINES. Fruit snacks? Most are made with gelatin. If I were her parents and her allergies were actually severe, I’d pack that myself. I wouldn’t trust it to strangers.
I am a new listener within the last 6 months and I love listening to you guys but as someone with an anaphylactic peanut allergy I feel attacked LOL (all jokes and all love 🥰) thanks for the laughs.
I thought kolachys were a cookie. I think OP is NTA because the school should have sent something home with all allergies and since it was only noted that peanuts needed to be avoided, they're okay. Unless there's a new rule sent to all parents of the class, she's not doing anything wrong
And as a parent I wouldn’t cater to ONE kid’s dietary needs unless it’s a life threatening one- like peanut allergy. Gluten or dairy free- no, let that kid’s parents take care of their snack & I’ll take care of the rest of the class.
Am I missing something?? Why are we assuming that the comment about the guy’s size at the mall is about his race?? It’s normal for a woman that’s feeling insulted by a man to comment that he probably has a small package, literally nothing to do with their race.
By the way, Pig in a blanket in the UK is a sausage wrapped in bacon 😅 so that comparison threw me a bit because you were talking about a bread type food. Also, is parents bringing in snacks a common thing in the US? That's so odd, even on birthdays it's starting to be discouraged to send your kid in with food for the class now due to dietary requirements and allergies
Yeah, even 20 years ago, it was discouraged in the US. And nothing homemade, it had to be store/bakery bought or fruit. Here pigs in a blanket are sausages in a pastry wrap.
Hair cutting IS essential for you. It's physically and emotionally beneficial to go to a salon or barber, not to mention many people with disabilities or difficult to manage hair need to see their hair people. And this is coming from someone who trims their own hair and just sees her hair stylist every 12-18mon for a good cut
The third story, those are not your friends. Anyone who is perfectly fine allowing someone to disrespect their friends especially in front of them. NOPE
The way I was IMMEDIATELY yelling on the third story. Why is it EVERY. DAMN. TIME. that poor as fuck men have minor stability they then claim the WOMAN WHO KEPT HIM CLOTHED AND FED is a gold digger. SIR?! WITH WHAT MONEY IS SHE DIGGING FOR???? You are in debt TO her!!! Literally! What money?! You are at negative monies right now!! What tf?!?!
I’m autistic, and as a kid we didn’t know I had been gifted with the ✨tism rizz✨, we just knew I had the attention span of a newt, the impulse control of a caffeinated squirrel, and approximately 1 fear: my mama. My mom went out of her way to make sure I knew that just because I thought it was cool doesn’t mean I got to touch it without permission, and if it’s behind a fence/barrier/glass/a fuckin moat, I have to ask an adult first. It wasn’t that hard to watch her kid. It’s literally easier to accidentally invade Lichtenstein twice.
Re: dietary restrictions, I have kids with a major medically necessary restrictive diet. The ENTIRE staff knows and have been briefed on the situation. They have a 504 accommodation. I was asked to be present at all elementary events. We and the teachers tried to keep appropriate snacks available for mine if needed. I am my child's best advocate. I rarely allow anyone else to even try unless they have proven themselves. I do not get that parent at all. The snack providing parent could just get a box of saltines for the one girl and keep providing the good snacks for the rest of the class 🤷🏻♀️ but it's all very sus 🙄
This is so dumb. Bring the snacks you used to bring, and then if you want to be nice, get something small for the allergy kid. I grew up with celiacs, and it was normal for me that i couldn’t always partake because of allergies. For the birthdays i got invited to, they had options for me, or made the cake gluten-free, which was the right thing to do. Some didn’t invite me, but they’d leave out a part of the class for the parties, så it was never JUST me not invited, but for my closest friends, i always was. As for school, either the parents (the allergic child) send extra treats this kid can also eat, or the school should step up. Either way, i don’t think this parent is a butthole, but i do think they’re the butthole for not considering bringing something small for this one child. You don’t know if they have allergies, or overprotective parents, but don’t sink to their level, and ignore their child. The kid is just a kid
I just think they were rude in the way they said it but the sentiment is understandable. ETA: it also sounds like food aversion rather than allergies. It's easier to say allergies because too many people wouldn't take food aversion seriously. Food adverse people will literally die rather than eat the foods they're adverse to.
Story 4 doesn’t sound like it was racially charged in the moment, more of a snark back for being called “not the beauty standard.” Penis size usually tends to be something a lot of men are insecure about just as women are worried about their appearance more often than not. What the guy said out of the blue was honestly a terrible thing to say to someone and the friend sounds crappy for not standing up for her and telling them to get lost after talking to someone like that.
@@elaexplorer nope, I've been vegetarian. Ovo-lacto vegetarian: Excludes meat, fish, and poultry, but includes dairy products and eggs Vegetarian: A general term that refers to diets that exclude meat, fish, and poultry Vegan: Excludes all animal products, including meat, fish, poultry, eggs, dairy products, and foods that contain them. Also avoiding silk, leather, and other animal based, non-food, products. Google is free.
@@5210smile🙄 there are people that are vegan when it comes to because of morality, sometimes use it for their health. I don’t know why you’re splitting hairs
The term “attractive nuisance” is a legal term. The neighbor Karen is in the right here. I’m not a lawyer but I do remember this from my business law class.
ARFID is a legit medical reason for dietary needs. Perhaps this is a case of that? ARFID is often seen as “pickiness” and not legit. Inclusivity and accessibility for kids is paramount. However that is achieved, it should be the focus. There are gluten free saltines. Celiac disease can affect the immune system and not show digestive/skin issues and increases the risk of cancer a lot. It’s considered an autoimmune disease and not an allergy. But gluten allergies and intolerances are also valid.
Bea is Bay-uh if it's the Spanish pronunciation, (short for Beatriz) Bea is pronounced bee in English, right? Short for Beatrice. And Beau with a u is pronounced Bo if it's a French pronunciation. But if it's just a pseudo, could be almost anything and I have no idea. Hope that helps. 😂
In story #6 with the husband and wife, I think both the husband and wife had valid concerns and feelings I think the issue really happens when the husband told the wife that she was overreacting. She's allowed to feel how she feels just as he's allowed to feel how he feels. He should have validated how she felt about the situation. He couldve told her that this would be a one-time situation and he could let his new friend know that normally this isn't something he would do because he has a tradition. He could have told her that he doesn't want to stop the tradition, it is important to him too, and he can still be sure keep to the tradition next week. Compromise was totally possible! Especially if the wife was already empathetic to his having few friends and being excited for a new one! But I truly think the real issue is that he called it overreacting when she wasn't. Thats the fastest way to ensure that your spouse feels dismissed and unsupported. I think in a very general sense, a lot men need to work on not immediately dismissing their spouses feelings. Everyone benefits from knowing how women work (ie being "more emotional" aka being willing to openly communicate their feelings) and it would help guys to better express themselves, too! Win win :3
With the snacks, they never mentioned allergies, but "dietary restrictions" which, sadly, a LOT of people use as an excuse when they are just being picky. And with the very short list of "acceptable snacks" it is CLEAR that it is just pickiness on the child's part and so the parents are trying to force the rest of the class to have to eat the few things that their child will eat. If they want those snacks in the classroom - THEY can provide them! Simple solution! But, I have a feeling that those parents are not included in the snack-providing volunteers. Beggars can't be choosers. For the 3rd story - GIRL - RUN!!!!! Seriously! After supporting a man for 3.5 years - I can promise you that your relationship will not get better and will never be a true partnership. You will continue to be used as long as you are in this relationship. Go take your car back and just write everything else off as a life lesson. Save yourself the headache, heartache and credit score.
The code of contact one I sort of think I would do something similar. But I would probably just make personalized glass or something like they have wine glasses that are cute. That way it’s a gift with the strategy of making sure Grandma stays away from my brother who will get irritated easily. It’s better to be strategic than to presented as a control. And normally the host is the one that will call the shots on if conversation are allowed.
1:01:52 but also at an introvert, if someone couldn’t understand this, I’d dip. This could be an age thing tho, cuz by my 30s I was more comfortable being alone than dealing with BS
Story 2, definitely NTA and neither is the teacher. My son has tree nut allergies and I gave the teacher a bag of snacks he can have, it is up to the parents to inform on your kids allergies, and supply something for them if they are not allowed to eat what someone else brings. Has he brought peanuts on purpose or something like that maybe but that wasn’t the case,
Told myself that I was gonna get Kolaches after I got off work today at 7am.. now this is my sign that a f’d up by not getting some 😭 the jalepeno cheese ones are my faaaavvvvveeeeee. Def getting some after work tomorrow! Haha. Didn’t know they were just a Texas things though, that’s so sad 😢
The last story erks me. 1. I cant shake the feeling if the genders were reversed people would feel differently. 2. Its not like the reason is the weekend before Thanksgiving my loved ones were r worded and m worded the weekend before Thanksgiving. The op chose an arbitrary date with no actual meaning. Im so confused why op can't do the trip two weeks prior to thanksgiving, or the weekend after???
The second story sounds fake too. Schools can’t require parents to bring snacks for all kids. And when parents volunteer, you get what you get. It’s the parents’ job to provide special snacks when the food is not provided by the school…at least in the USA.
Bro, u r from SEA and you blame the beauty standard on Hollywood. I'm gonna call bs on u living here in SEA. That shit was part of Asia even before we knew the western world. And the more I listen the more I'm like what??? U r giving the average white guy view of Asia. Many problems in the world have nothing to do with them. Asian beauty standard is one of them. Like if you lived in SEA really (and not the US ur whole life) how do you not know this???🤔🤔🤔
The first story is fake. Aint no way there's a 22 YO out there with an expensive Koi pond that's his pride n joy. The whole thread calls out OP as well
“No Trespassing signs everywhere” is sus. Also, a simple Google search shows that koi fish are not very difficult to care for and are hardy fish. Many public parks have them and people feed them all the time. I’m not convinced that one child can cause the death of several koi.
She didn't ask him to give her money for her haircut: she asked him if she could BORROW it. I hope she sues him in small claims for the rest of the money she paid out to support his sorry self.
The first story drove me insane. I have a 9 year old, he is autistic and can struggle to understand boundaries. He was outside playing one day and we got a knock on the door from a neighbour saying that he had climbed our wall and ventured into their garden.
What happened? We explained boundaries ad nauseum and it was clear he wasnt mature enough to be outside alone so we were always supervising from then on. It was almost a year ago and i still make sure he is always in my eye line 🤷🏻♀️
That kid LITERALLY KILLED YOUR FISH!!!!!
Teacher here. Parent should always notify school and teacher if there are dietary restrictions. Then the teacher should follow the instructions provided by parents. It’s ultimately up to parents to share this information.
She’s gluten free but can eat saltines and buttered noodles? They’re lying about allergies to cater to her pickiness
To be fair, the only person we heard mention allergies was OPs son, so, it’s possible he didn’t remember or communicate it accurately. OP didn’t say the kid or her parents ever said she was gluten free.
As for the girl who went "below the belt" that girl was NTA. She stood her ground. The guys who insulted her and her friends are absolutely assholes. Also, wild to assume that her insult towards his nether regions is race specific. If they had been any other nationality and she made the same insult, what energy would they have brought?
I don’t think she did mean it as a racial insult, I honestly think she meant it as a male centered insult. It didn’t sound like she went in on that specifically because of his race to me, and it was only after her friend pointed it out that she realized it, but maybe I misinterpreted it.
@beepboop8374 I agree.
While , I think it was racial it did feel like a fighting fire with fire thing. Also, her friend is trash for being more concerned about her response then a guy calling her ugly unprovoked. It doesn’t matter that not everyone will find her attractive, no one needs to voice that.
@ absolutely agree
It's not such a wild assumption since it happens to Asian men all the time, but in this case, speaking as an Asian woman, I'd be looking the other away regardless. The only problem is that, as is the case with any other situation like this, fighting fire with fire like this only perpetuates the stereotypes being used. So I'm conflicted, but not enough to call her the a-hole.
28:03 So for a year and a half she spent her haircut money on him and now he's whining that she wants him to pay for it now.
Latina v Asian...
He was being racist 100% and her comeback is standard *regardless of the man's race*.
Her friends are racist assholes too.
Yeah- I was confused as to why no one was picking up on his racism as well.
People should not be able to sue you for trespassing onto your property then having an accident. It’s private property.
I’m not bringing in anymore snacks. Easy as that.
My son is 8. If he did that, I would have been PISSED at my kid because I would already be assuming I would be paying for damages and don't have that type of money right now.
On the second story, as a extremely picky eater, with sensory issues (autistic), I've learned my entire life to just bring my own snacks in case the place I'm going don't offer anything to my taste.
If it was actual allergy that would be dangerous, what if I eat something mistake or got cross contamination.
But I never stop my entire class from having something they enjoy if there's a easier solution.
21:29 Gluten allergy and celiac disease are two completely different things. Celiac is an autoimmune disease that the smallest intake (even cross contamination) causes the body to attack itself. The only cure is a gluten free diet. Failure to do so can cause more health issues (GI issues, fatigue, low bone density, infertility, cancer, mental health issues, etc.) As a celiac, I’m used to people saying it’s “not a real disease” Love how you tried to understand the difference.
It is very good to see. My friend's mom has celiac. The amount of times we've yelled at her boyfriend for touching/eating gluten items and then touching something else without washing his hands could be a novel. Poor mom had issues for a year before he finally learned. People really don't understand how severe celiacs is and how different allergies are from diseases.
Also, really appreciate the knowledge of how gluten affects PCOS. The body craves the bread, but at what cost 😅 As someone with it, it's really nice seeing people be more aware of the nuances.
Saying something is “an attractive nuisance” and that’s why someone can’t control themselves and therefore the victim of the crime is actually to blame is wildly similar to blaming the victims of SA because of their level of attractiveness and dress.
Also why don’t the parents of the kid with allergies in the second story just take over snack responsibility since they know what snacks their kid is allowed to eat? There actually are really great snacks for gluten free and nut free kids but they tend to be more expensive because they usually come from healthier stores like Natural Grocers or Sprouts… so asking for the original volunteer to do that for the whole class in order to accommodate one kid seems a little unfair. Especially when he’s unaware of absolutely everything their kid needs. It seems like the simplest option is for them to take over (without bringing just saltines and buttered noodles because that’s not healthy for every day.)
Excellent comparison about SA victims and their clothing.
And I mostly agree about the snacks; however, I think the parents of the picky child should just send that kid with their own "special" snack every day. Imagine changing what everyone eats for that one kid, and changing it to saltines. Do you think the other 20 kids are going to be happy with that every day? Absolutely not. You cannot please everyone, so the one outlier has to figure out what to do for themselves instead of trying to make everyone else change for them. ESPECIALLY when they're just picky and there is no danger involved. Peanut allergy? Absolutely. Don't allow nuts in the classroom, but if someone simply does not enjoy many foods, that's a them problem.
@ that’s kinda what I’m getting at. The parents of the picky kid are essentially demanding the dad do just that - send snacks for every kid in that class that their kid can eat… but he doesn’t know what he can send because there’s so many restrictions. So why wouldn’t they be the ones to take it over? Instead of him being responsible for it. That doesn’t make any sense to me. I absolutely agree your idea is the simplest solution but it sounds like that was shot down already in the story (unless I’m misunderstood.) Otherwise, if one parent is supposed to provide for the whole class while still including that kid, I think the most common sense solution is to have the parents of the picky kid take over with the rule that it can’t be saltines.
How dare she need money for a haircut after she paid for everything for you.
In the club, we are all poor needs to be merch
Attractive nuisance is a legal term for a dangerous thing that can entice a child to trespass. Usually pools.
Ah, I confused at how this applies when he fenced it in.
Exactly. Also, trampolines are a big one.
@@funnyfoxbird it might not apply legally, but I'm just explaining the meaning of the term. Sometimes some fences, especially tall ones with locked gates (or no gates), will be legally enough, sometimes more it required.
@ I get ya. I’m not in opposition to you, I think her argument is dumb.
Parents telling their kids to just lie about being allergic to a certain food when the kid just doesn't like that food is actually more common than you might think.
Those kids then often grow up thinking everyone who says they have an allergy are just picky eaters who don't want to eat that food, something that is a very big issue as other stories might have showed..
The point of having a Koi pond is to see the fish, also if you put a covering over the pond, a person that falls in is more likely to drown
Wouldn’t a cover be bad for the fish too? Don’t the plants in the pond and the fish need sunlight during the day?
True true
Story 6: What’s weird is John said that OP is NTA, but then goes onto describe a time when he gave up a tradition to make sure his partner was able to do something she needed in a compromise. Basically his story is saying she IS the AH for not being willing to compromise.
He may not think that he’s going to lose the relationship because the guy is mad that he’s trying to please his wife. But people drift apart if you refuse too many invites, I think that’s what he’s worried about.
Lastly, it is so weird to be captivated by the date. The tradition literally could happen at any time before the holiday. The date shouldn’t be the only thing that makes the tradition special, what if she gets pregnant around that time and they can’t follow through, is she so rigid that that ruins the tradition forever? It does also sound like she’s trying to make him feel the same way about that tradition, and it’s fine for him to not feel that it’s special.
Thought this the whole time
John’s “SAY IT!” reverberated within my petty soul 😂
p.s. I’m a petty b*tch so I’ll still make snacks that I want for the kids but I will give 2 Saltines to that one kid.
And not good saltines. The whole grain low sodium ones.
Story about the guy who wanted to go to a trip with his friend. I think OP is somewhat an AH. Its not like he goes out everyday. He even proposed an alternative but OP was just selfish. She could have gone a weekend later or earlier.
Yeah, this is the first time he's asking to go on a trip but they've done the tradition every year.
Absolutely! He went to his wife first (as far as we know) because he knows their schedule and knows they can do it another weekend
I had a similar situation to the first story. Growing up, we lived in the countryside (no neighbors for about a mile and a half), and a new family moved into the closest homes. The sons of the family would hike up to our house when no one was home and just do whatever they wanted. One day, my dad found two of his coy fish dead on the ground, and the pool net was next to them. These kids had just left them there to die. The neighbors refused to admit their sons did it even though the front door security camera had shown them on the property that day; fast forward to a year later, when we got a call from the dad, who was threatening to sue us. We had a serious rattlesnake infestation where a bunch of rattlesnakes lived under where the automatic pool cover would retract. It wasn't uncommon for rattlesnakes to be on the first few steps into the pool cooling off. One of these dumbass kids stepped on one while breaking into our pool and got bit. The dad accused us of it being our fault (using the same language of it being an attractive nuisance, which, btw is a legal term for something dangerous and attractive to children) because we hadn't closed the pool cover that day. Btw there were like 4 of these boys, all aged over 12...
How did that pan out? I'm interested.
@ my dad and their dad both kept telling each other to go f themselves and nothing ever actually happened 😅 then like 3 years later the entire neighborhood burned down in a wildfire and we moved so they aren’t neighbors anymore
I don’t agree with “no politics or controversial topics” because me (and people like me) literally just existing, is seen as political and controversial
Fair point.
I empathized somewhat with the "no overlapping conversation" because that's a sensory nightmare for me, but BOY did it go downhill from there
The last OP was the AH. The husband finally found a friend (and friends are really important and for some people hard to find) and she insists on this specific weekend for something they can do at another weekend in the holiday season.
Okay so the story about dissing the man's size.... Confuses me. A man dissing a girl like that should expect to have his "manhood" dissed, regardless of color. That's the first thing that would pop into my head... women find "pride" in their total body beauty but hey! It's even CALLED manhood.
On another note: lighter skin has traditionally been valued throughout the world. It's also a statement of wealth. Back in the day wealthy people could spend the day inside, not working in the sun. However, NOW wealthy people can AFFORD to be outside. Spending so much time outside lying around tanning EVENLY is a HUGE sign of privilege in America so its changed
With the contract story, how is it being enforced? If the sister isn't the host how does she expect to enforce those expectations? It wouldn't be her place to kick out someone who breaks the rules. That makes it relatively meaningless.
46:57 he was also racist because the BEAUTY standard is white Anglo-Saxon and because she is not that then she’s not good enough
Sorry but gotta disagree with the guys on the last story, I do think OP is a bit of an AH. Making friends when you're an adult is difficult, especially for men. It doesn't sound like the husband has an active social life, so it's really important to try to foster those opportunities when they come up (because it's healthy to have a social life outside your marriage!). The husband offered compromise (like moving it to another weekend), but OP wouldn't budge at all and was mostly just thinking about her own feelings.
Which I'd be more understanding if it was an activity that could only happen that weekend (which it doesn't) OR it was the only tradition they have around that time of year... but it's the weekend before Thanksgiving and the start of the holiday season - there's loads of traditions people do as families during that time. The fact the husband had to reschedule the trip for JANUARY implies to me that they already have many holiday traditions that they do that OP neglected to mention, so that weekend really was the only time they could do that trip.
Like traditions are nice, but not every tradition should be set in stone. You gotta allow for some flexibility.
Came to say the same thing
46:23 but her not being light and blond, so there for she is not beautiful, is not stereotyping?!
MUSTARD!! Seriously guys it’s been going through my head all week too.
The story with the snacks…while it’s not unheard of young kids to express “this makes me hurt/feel itchy” as “I don’t like that,” it does seem a little sus that the allergies are all of the sudden coming up after expressing that they don’t like the provided foods, with “safe” foods that are typically preferred by picky eaters, and the “safe” foods are foods that would need to be carefully evaluated to accommodate her allergies. Buttered noodles? You’d have to make sure they were gluten free. Saltines? They aren’t gluten free but you could get an analog with gluten free table crackers, but they’re specifying SALTINES. Fruit snacks? Most are made with gelatin.
If I were her parents and her allergies were actually severe, I’d pack that myself. I wouldn’t trust it to strangers.
I am a new listener within the last 6 months and I love listening to you guys but as someone with an anaphylactic peanut allergy I feel attacked LOL (all jokes and all love 🥰) thanks for the laughs.
I thought kolachys were a cookie.
I think OP is NTA because the school should have sent something home with all allergies and since it was only noted that peanuts needed to be avoided, they're okay. Unless there's a new rule sent to all parents of the class, she's not doing anything wrong
And as a parent I wouldn’t cater to ONE kid’s dietary needs unless it’s a life threatening one- like peanut allergy. Gluten or dairy free- no, let that kid’s parents take care of their snack & I’ll take care of the rest of the class.
I loved the Kolache mention! My dad and I make them for the holidays, its a tradition from his Czech grandparents
50:08 tbh, while he was TA, Asian beauty standards are known to be harsh AF, so I can’t comment on that part. He was just TA overall tho
Talking about Kendrick, his album references Andrew Shults and the 2 English black dudes who didn't call him on his shit lol
Am I missing something?? Why are we assuming that the comment about the guy’s size at the mall is about his race?? It’s normal for a woman that’s feeling insulted by a man to comment that he probably has a small package, literally nothing to do with their race.
By the way, Pig in a blanket in the UK is a sausage wrapped in bacon 😅 so that comparison threw me a bit because you were talking about a bread type food.
Also, is parents bringing in snacks a common thing in the US? That's so odd, even on birthdays it's starting to be discouraged to send your kid in with food for the class now due to dietary requirements and allergies
Yeah, even 20 years ago, it was discouraged in the US. And nothing homemade, it had to be store/bakery bought or fruit.
Here pigs in a blanket are sausages in a pastry wrap.
Hair cutting IS essential for you. It's physically and emotionally beneficial to go to a salon or barber, not to mention many people with disabilities or difficult to manage hair need to see their hair people. And this is coming from someone who trims their own hair and just sees her hair stylist every 12-18mon for a good cut
The third story, those are not your friends. Anyone who is perfectly fine allowing someone to disrespect their friends especially in front of them. NOPE
The way I was IMMEDIATELY yelling on the third story. Why is it EVERY. DAMN. TIME. that poor as fuck men have minor stability they then claim the WOMAN WHO KEPT HIM CLOTHED AND FED is a gold digger. SIR?! WITH WHAT MONEY IS SHE DIGGING FOR???? You are in debt TO her!!! Literally! What money?! You are at negative monies right now!! What tf?!?!
The fact she didn't even ask for her hair to be colored and style and extensions or anything but just a simple haircut. What's that like 50$? Lol
I’m autistic, and as a kid we didn’t know I had been gifted with the ✨tism rizz✨, we just knew I had the attention span of a newt, the impulse control of a caffeinated squirrel, and approximately 1 fear: my mama.
My mom went out of her way to make sure I knew that just because I thought it was cool doesn’t mean I got to touch it without permission, and if it’s behind a fence/barrier/glass/a fuckin moat, I have to ask an adult first.
It wasn’t that hard to watch her kid. It’s literally easier to accidentally invade Lichtenstein twice.
I've listened to too many reddit stories because i was half expecting the new friend in the last story to secretly be an affair partner. 🙃
Re: dietary restrictions, I have kids with a major medically necessary restrictive diet. The ENTIRE staff knows and have been briefed on the situation. They have a 504 accommodation. I was asked to be present at all elementary events. We and the teachers tried to keep appropriate snacks available for mine if needed. I am my child's best advocate. I rarely allow anyone else to even try unless they have proven themselves. I do not get that parent at all. The snack providing parent could just get a box of saltines for the one girl and keep providing the good snacks for the rest of the class 🤷🏻♀️ but it's all very sus 🙄
This is so dumb. Bring the snacks you used to bring, and then if you want to be nice, get something small for the allergy kid.
I grew up with celiacs, and it was normal for me that i couldn’t always partake because of allergies.
For the birthdays i got invited to, they had options for me, or made the cake gluten-free, which was the right thing to do.
Some didn’t invite me, but they’d leave out a part of the class for the parties, så it was never JUST me not invited, but for my closest friends, i always was.
As for school, either the parents (the allergic child) send extra treats this kid can also eat, or the school should step up. Either way, i don’t think this parent is a butthole, but i do think they’re the butthole for not considering bringing something small for this one child. You don’t know if they have allergies, or overprotective parents, but don’t sink to their level, and ignore their child. The kid is just a kid
I just think they were rude in the way they said it but the sentiment is understandable.
ETA: it also sounds like food aversion rather than allergies. It's easier to say allergies because too many people wouldn't take food aversion seriously. Food adverse people will literally die rather than eat the foods they're adverse to.
Y'all need to deep fat fry that turkey. They won't be dried out. Unless your hubs leave it in too long lol
Story 4 doesn’t sound like it was racially charged in the moment, more of a snark back for being called “not the beauty standard.” Penis size usually tends to be something a lot of men are insecure about just as women are worried about their appearance more often than not. What the guy said out of the blue was honestly a terrible thing to say to someone and the friend sounds crappy for not standing up for her and telling them to get lost after talking to someone like that.
Fifth story: I didn't know that was a stereotype. Learned something new today.
As a none American woman, I can't imagine not feeling or not being safe in my car in front of my own house or anywhere for that matter... 😅
When he said not THE Beauty Standard, he was being racist first. FAFO
part of the 2%! i love the wrestle talk lol
me too!
dipping our toes into the koi fish biz i see 🐡
Sean has to be right that Bea is pronounced bee like Bea Arthur instead of like beau/bo or bayuh. 😂
There are lacto-ovo (milk and egg) eating vegetarians, but not all vegetarians eat those things.
You've got it backwards. Most vegetarians eat eggs and milk, excluding eggs and milk it becomes veganism.
@@elaexplorer nope, I've been vegetarian.
Ovo-lacto vegetarian: Excludes meat, fish, and poultry, but includes dairy products and eggs
Vegetarian: A general term that refers to diets that exclude meat, fish, and poultry
Vegan: Excludes all animal products, including meat, fish, poultry, eggs, dairy products, and foods that contain them. Also avoiding silk, leather, and other animal based, non-food, products.
Google is free.
@@5210smile🙄 there are people that are vegan when it comes to because of morality, sometimes use it for their health.
I don’t know why you’re splitting hairs
Happy Friday peeps!
The term “attractive nuisance” is a legal term. The neighbor Karen is in the right here. I’m not a lawyer but I do remember this from my business law class.
ARFID is a legit medical reason for dietary needs. Perhaps this is a case of that? ARFID is often seen as “pickiness” and not legit. Inclusivity and accessibility for kids is paramount. However that is achieved, it should be the focus.
There are gluten free saltines. Celiac disease can affect the immune system and not show digestive/skin issues and increases the risk of cancer a lot. It’s considered an autoimmune disease and not an allergy. But gluten allergies and intolerances are also valid.
It didn't say he didn't try to get the friend to change the trip. It might be something unchangeable.
Bea is Bay-uh if it's the Spanish pronunciation, (short for Beatriz) Bea is pronounced bee in English, right? Short for Beatrice. And Beau with a u is pronounced Bo if it's a French pronunciation. But if it's just a pseudo, could be almost anything and I have no idea. Hope that helps. 😂
In story #6 with the husband and wife, I think both the husband and wife had valid concerns and feelings I think the issue really happens when the husband told the wife that she was overreacting. She's allowed to feel how she feels just as he's allowed to feel how he feels. He should have validated how she felt about the situation. He couldve told her that this would be a one-time situation and he could let his new friend know that normally this isn't something he would do because he has a tradition. He could have told her that he doesn't want to stop the tradition, it is important to him too, and he can still be sure keep to the tradition next week. Compromise was totally possible! Especially if the wife was already empathetic to his having few friends and being excited for a new one! But I truly think the real issue is that he called it overreacting when she wasn't. Thats the fastest way to ensure that your spouse feels dismissed and unsupported. I think in a very general sense, a lot men need to work on not immediately dismissing their spouses feelings. Everyone benefits from knowing how women work (ie being "more emotional" aka being willing to openly communicate their feelings) and it would help guys to better express themselves, too! Win win :3
With the snacks, they never mentioned allergies, but "dietary restrictions" which, sadly, a LOT of people use as an excuse when they are just being picky. And with the very short list of "acceptable snacks" it is CLEAR that it is just pickiness on the child's part and so the parents are trying to force the rest of the class to have to eat the few things that their child will eat. If they want those snacks in the classroom - THEY can provide them! Simple solution! But, I have a feeling that those parents are not included in the snack-providing volunteers. Beggars can't be choosers.
For the 3rd story - GIRL - RUN!!!!! Seriously! After supporting a man for 3.5 years - I can promise you that your relationship will not get better and will never be a true partnership. You will continue to be used as long as you are in this relationship. Go take your car back and just write everything else off as a life lesson. Save yourself the headache, heartache and credit score.
The code of contact one I sort of think I would do something similar. But I would probably just make personalized glass or something like they have wine glasses that are cute. That way it’s a gift with the strategy of making sure Grandma stays away from my brother who will get irritated easily. It’s better to be strategic than to presented as a control. And normally the host is the one that will call the shots on if conversation are allowed.
Karen is lucky her son hasn't been hurt. Maybe CPS needs a call.
I would personally love a rule of no overlapping conversations. But that’s on audio processing disorder 😅🤣
Sean is right, I DO want you all to say SEAN is the only appropriate to spell Sean 😂
Scorched Earth Sean is lit. Vibes
This whole time I thought you were saying “Josh L” and today I thought, “Why did he drag out the ‘sh’ like that? OH 🤯”
put bear trap around the yard 😂
1:46 👀 I know who you’re talking about😂
1:01:52 but also at an introvert, if someone couldn’t understand this, I’d dip. This could be an age thing tho, cuz by my 30s I was more comfortable being alone than dealing with BS
1:05:20 You know what, fair point 💯🎯
Story 2, definitely NTA and neither is the teacher. My son has tree nut allergies and I gave the teacher a bag of snacks he can have, it is up to the parents to inform on your kids allergies, and supply something for them if they are not allowed to eat what someone else brings. Has he brought peanuts on purpose or something like that maybe but that wasn’t the case,
Told myself that I was gonna get Kolaches after I got off work today at 7am.. now this is my sign that a f’d up by not getting some 😭 the jalepeno cheese ones are my faaaavvvvveeeeee. Def getting some after work tomorrow! Haha. Didn’t know they were just a Texas things though, that’s so sad 😢
12:22 CZECHIA MENTIONED‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
The last story erks me. 1. I cant shake the feeling if the genders were reversed people would feel differently.
2. Its not like the reason is the weekend before Thanksgiving my loved ones were r worded and m worded the weekend before Thanksgiving. The op chose an arbitrary date with no actual meaning. Im so confused why op can't do the trip two weeks prior to thanksgiving, or the weekend after???
The second story sounds fake too. Schools can’t require parents to bring snacks for all kids. And when parents volunteer, you get what you get. It’s the parents’ job to provide special snacks when the food is not provided by the school…at least in the USA.
I actually house sat for someone who breed koi fish
Gluten, fibromyalgia flare-ups and rashes here.
The comment on Sean’s podcast is a bit mean spirited 😢 Idk why they’d add that
Bro, u r from SEA and you blame the beauty standard on Hollywood. I'm gonna call bs on u living here in SEA. That shit was part of Asia even before we knew the western world. And the more I listen the more I'm like what??? U r giving the average white guy view of Asia. Many problems in the world have nothing to do with them. Asian beauty standard is one of them. Like if you lived in SEA really (and not the US ur whole life) how do you not know this???🤔🤔🤔
The first story is fake. Aint no way there's a 22 YO out there with an expensive Koi pond that's his pride n joy. The whole thread calls out OP as well
@@XMooMooMonkeyX HARD disagree. My parents had a koi pond and passed their love of them to my sister and I.
As a 22 yo it's totally possible. Depending on what field you go into some companies have great paying student positions that result in full time hire
Its not impossible, he could have inherited it or is just born rich. @jkjyum
Is it impossible for me to have a garden then? Yes, it could be expensive, but parents often willingly help their early 20's children
“No Trespassing signs everywhere” is sus. Also, a simple Google search shows that koi fish are not very difficult to care for and are hardy fish. Many public parks have them and people feed them all the time. I’m not convinced that one child can cause the death of several koi.