You are like a doctor who saved someone who had no chance of survival. I am Alive and a good human because of people like you. I owe you a lot. I will never forget your kindness and help.😭❤❤❤❤
Well now you've gone and done it! You have revealed to me the reason why I betrayed every person with whom I was "romantically" involved. I just thought I was an a-hole, but now I understand. This is a keeper so I can rewatch and explain to my new therapist. I have so much shame for hurting SO many people who TRUSTED ME..... Many blessings for helping us all who want to unravel the mess in our heads! Thank you so much for these shorter vids. I can explore more content you offer!
This is extremely painful to hear and accept about myself. I am sitting here realizing that I am so alone, I have completely isolated from others as I feel so broken and unworthy of normal human activity anymore. I feel like I am so far from normal, what is the point of all this? This is massive for me, this is like everything and it is too much for me to get a handle on at once. The more I look into this stuff the more I realize how much I have been affected by my trauma. I am beginning to think the only way for me to truly heal is throw my entire laugh at healing, recovery, and ultimately helping others recover. Nothing else seems to matter anymore. I am tired of suffering.
It kind of sounds like you have hit bottom in your life. This is a good thing because that means the only way from here is up. I have been where you are now and it felt gravity pulled me so deep down that I couldn’t even move. That’s when I got really serious about turning my life around. It doesn’t just happen. You need to get a plan and begin with gratitude as the foundation. Find the good and praise it everyday. Even in bad times, search for the good. Gratitude is healing balm for the soul and you will eventually rise from the pit of despair if you persist on looking for the good and praising it. Be your own best friend.
Replace the thought processes with new ones. I was always interested in Hinduism which led me to mantra and a deeper understanding of me! Astrology helped, knowing cycles and reasons for why I’ve been given my set of challenges. Follow your interests and slowly and surely (!) as long as being committed to yourself and not being ashamed of being sensitive and a deep thinker!!! It takes all types. And build up your boundaries and knowledge of red flags and breaking of your set boundaries. You are loved you are here and you matter!!!
I will give always a portion trust at the beginning of a new contact/relationship, the most people are worthy of it, that's my experience ... And yes, if not - always they can earn it - as we might show for our self (the mirrors ;-), that they can trust us, so always the same is true, that we must become aware of it - if we are trust worthy, the response will work, too. Questionary: „Can I trust myself?“ Take Care. Good Luck. 😊✌️
Saw you on Theo Von. Very informative. Thank you for all the videos you do. It has helped to supplement my regular therapy. And a big thank you for starting this video off with the statement that this isn't about shaming oneself.
We can be on the other side where we blindly trust and don’t even see red flags because we were forced to trust untrustworthy parents. And I have swung both sides of blindly trusting to trusting no one. This video is very helpful to score where I am at. Thank you so much!
Thank you for saying this, I get why they said parents* all the time, but it’s not always them, it can be them, some other adults, other kids or siblings, for me it was my brother who’s 6 and a half years older than me, he was a terror growing up, verbal and emotionally abuses, there was nothing nice about him.
One can even have a high score and not be aware. I am quite aware in some areas but didn't realize that I didn't trust anyone until I recently realized that sooner or later I will push someone away if they come too close.
Same. I trusted ppl too easily in my teens early 20s but after my 1 child, at 22 23 I flipped and didn't even realize it till now at 32. Realized I didn't build any relationships after early 20s and isolated alot, in hindsight it's so obvious I trust no one. Always a skeptic
Of course that's bc I married a narc after already been raised by a narc mother. After that girl betrayed me in so many nasty ways while crying to my face stating her convincing lies, I couldn't imagine how totally destroyed I really was. All those learned codependency traits I got from my dad seemed to turn into an entirely different monster. I felt cast aside from society as I belonged nowhere
I wish I had had your advice when I was 20. I had severe shame issues and it took me decades to finally leave them behind, learn hard lessons about being trustworthy, and focus on cultivating healthy relationships. Religion helped me.
This hurts deeply and I’m feeling it today and it sucks I’m never going to feel better I’m always going to push away the people I love with being too needy even if they love me back. I hate this life so much.
You're not alone. It's hard but we have to keep trying. Personally I'm tired of running away. I want to heal and I'm willing to be patient with the process and I'm in a country where we don't have access to mental health experts, my resorts are TH-cam and books. Please don't give up!
It’s not easy…it’s really tough, but we’re all works in progress…just got to keep getting back on the healing Horse…hard AF I know…my belief is, it’s a lifelong job, learning ‘ourselves’…
I'm generally wary of the current trend to attribute every undesirable psychological state, trait, pattern and habit to CPTSD, but I have to admit that after watching a few of your videos, so far I feel incredibly called out. You seem to pin down a lot of issues I have far more specifically than therapists who I have had actual regular sessions with. I don't know what your background is, but you seem fairly competant with attachment theory and IFS, and you are very good at communicating things in a way that resonates very concretely. I'm finding you videos exceptionally eye openeing.
I still trust easily and continue to get hurt over and over. 5 bad marriages. Yes I am drawn to untrustworthy people. But I can't stop it. I scored real high.
I’m fine with now, not trusting. I am relieved and beyond relieved to not have to worry about trusting. My Dog, who has a heart murmur and has limited time, is only one whom I trust, and that is so relieving. I am grateful not to trust any Human. I don’t even contemplate it. I cannot imagine, even if ever healed, that I would trust a Human. Is that sad? No:)
This quiz makes no sense. 2 of the questions are simply about the nature of the life I have lived: yes, I have been abused by trusted people. This means the minimum I could ever achieve on this quiz is 20 (2 x 6= 12, plus 8 (1 for everything else) = 22). What is this based off of???
Need to be able to set and hold boundaries. Also, trust is on a spectrum and multifaceted. Trust is also not all or nothing. Myself, I don’t know how to set and hold boundaries.
Why i have to take responsibility but no my parent who hurt me? They are dead now. happy in heaven but why i have to do it, its not fair. They were adults they should take resnponsibility, heal themself, not throw all their trash on me. Its unjustice.
They did it but now it's your responsibility to get yourself out of this mess. There's no way around it. Otherwise you will keep repeating the same patterns of abuse. It won't be easy I think but it will be worth it.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. What taking responsibility means in this context: You have to take responsibitlity for healing, because nobody is going to do it for you. So even though it is utterly unfair that you ended up in this situation at all, the only two options you have now are to either wait for your abuser(s) to take responsibility (putting yourself at their mercy, with nothing you can do about it if they decide not to take responsibility), or to take responsibility yourself and heal. Hope you chose the latter, you're worth it 🖤
Mistrust is not a what’s the word, weakness, as it seems to suggest here. Mistrust is a strength. Trust has to be earned. You don’t give that away for free that’s nonsense. Even family has to earn trust as it’s been easily politically divided for centuries now. So many people giving out advice without any historical context and consideration. You can’t study sociology WITHOUT taking manipulation into account. It’s ALWAYS there.
Trauma in the social context most likely also plays a role with regard to social engineers, everyone should be aware of that! ("System Science", and the "Structural and Structureless Governance of Power", including Control and Profits. „Conceptions of Global Governance“! And the „Cognitive warfare“,. here (we can found): for example you can check these open and official Paperwork and Documentation from the „European Security Plans“. (EU-Office.) , the Insights of the Strategy papers and plans of/for the „NATO". „Cognitive warfare“,. - methods against their own population!?). "Human dignity - can only be created together, who else should do it for us, if not we together for all other people and animated living beings (vividly Souls ;-) in favour of and with each other? Every single person is called upon to participate in this, please. To be allowed to be human and to be able to live among humans ... Being human. To be loving. Being peace. Thank you for sharing your wonderful informations with us. Together we are strong. Best regards Beate ❤
Building wealth involves good habits and risks like putting money into solid investments like digital currencies,having a good financial manager is what people tend to shy away from,and it keeps hunting them in the near future after many losses, be disciplined and get certified advisor pray that anyone reading this will be successful!!!
I just found out Ive been cheated on throughout a 2 year committed relationship. Devastated and had a hard time trusting beforehand. Future looks bleak.
Many people don't innerstand the meaning of trust: When I trust someone, I'm capitalizing on their interest. This means that I'm an advocate of their support. So, when I say that I "trust" someone, it doesn't mean that I'm putting my faith in them to do right by me. It means that my intent is to look out for their benefit. So, the question then becomes: Are they in turn looking out for my interst, are they trusting me.🦋
You are like a doctor who saved someone who had no chance of survival. I am Alive and a good human because of people like you. I owe you a lot. I will never forget your kindness and help.😭❤❤❤❤
Thank you.He's been excellent supplement to my psychiatrist therapist
Well now you've gone and done it! You have revealed to me the reason why I betrayed every person with whom I was "romantically" involved. I just thought I was an a-hole, but now I understand. This is a keeper so I can rewatch and explain to my new therapist. I have so much shame for hurting SO many people who TRUSTED ME.....
Many blessings for helping us all who want to unravel the mess in our heads!
Thank you so much for these shorter vids. I can explore more content you offer!
your not an A hole. I really wish you love and healing on your journey
I pray you find peace. I feel the exact same way. This was my a-ha moment, now maybe we can heal and be healthy again.
This is extremely painful to hear and accept about myself. I am sitting here realizing that I am so alone, I have completely isolated from others as I feel so broken and unworthy of normal human activity anymore. I feel like I am so far from normal, what is the point of all this? This is massive for me, this is like everything and it is too much for me to get a handle on at once. The more I look into this stuff the more I realize how much I have been affected by my trauma. I am beginning to think the only way for me to truly heal is throw my entire laugh at healing, recovery, and ultimately helping others recover. Nothing else seems to matter anymore. I am tired of suffering.
It kind of sounds like you have hit bottom in your life. This is a good thing because that means the only way from here is up. I have been where you are now and it felt gravity pulled me so deep down that I couldn’t even move. That’s when I got really serious about turning my life around. It doesn’t just happen. You need to get a plan and begin with gratitude as the foundation. Find the good and praise it everyday. Even in bad times, search for the good. Gratitude is healing balm for the soul and you will eventually rise from the pit of despair if you persist on looking for the good and praising it. Be your own best friend.
Replace the thought processes with new ones. I was always interested in Hinduism which led me to mantra and a deeper understanding of me! Astrology helped, knowing cycles and reasons for why I’ve been given my set of challenges. Follow your interests and slowly and surely (!) as long as being committed to yourself and not being ashamed of being sensitive and a deep thinker!!! It takes all types. And build up your boundaries and knowledge of red flags and breaking of your set boundaries. You are loved you are here and you matter!!!
Am with you I feel the same 😢
I'm not giving away trust anymore I will let someone earn it.
I will give always a portion trust at the beginning of a new contact/relationship, the most people are worthy of it, that's my experience ...
And yes, if not - always they can earn it - as we might show for our self (the mirrors ;-), that they can trust us, so always the same is true, that we must become aware of it
- if we are trust worthy, the response will work, too.
Questionary:
„Can I trust myself?“
Take Care.
Good Luck.
😊✌️
Saw you on Theo Von. Very informative. Thank you for all the videos you do. It has helped to supplement my regular therapy. And a big thank you for starting this video off with the statement that this isn't about shaming oneself.
We can be on the other side where we blindly trust and don’t even see red flags because we were forced to trust untrustworthy parents. And I have swung both sides of blindly trusting to trusting no one. This video is very helpful to score where I am at. Thank you so much!
It’s oddly reassuring to know I’m not alone in feeling my parents were untrustworthy. 😅
Also teachers. It’s not always the parents that do this to children
Thank you for saying this, I get why they said parents* all the time, but it’s not always them, it can be them, some other adults, other kids or siblings, for me it was my brother who’s 6 and a half years older than me, he was a terror growing up, verbal and emotionally abuses, there was nothing nice about him.
We have lots of work to do, the one who did this to us just have calm and nice life.
Your mom has lots of work to do....
Best video I’ve seen on TRUST for the CPTSD kid/adult
One can even have a high score and not be aware. I am quite aware in some areas but didn't realize that I didn't trust anyone until I recently realized that sooner or later I will push someone away if they come too close.
Same. I trusted ppl too easily in my teens early 20s but after my 1 child, at 22 23 I flipped and didn't even realize it till now at 32. Realized I didn't build any relationships after early 20s and isolated alot, in hindsight it's so obvious I trust no one. Always a skeptic
Of course that's bc I married a narc after already been raised by a narc mother. After that girl betrayed me in so many nasty ways while crying to my face stating her convincing lies, I couldn't imagine how totally destroyed I really was. All those learned codependency traits I got from my dad seemed to turn into an entirely different monster. I felt cast aside from society as I belonged nowhere
Thank you. Just thank you.
I wish I had had your advice when I was 20. I had severe shame issues and it took me decades to finally leave them behind, learn hard lessons about being trustworthy, and focus on cultivating healthy relationships. Religion helped me.
Our parents make the mess but it is up to us to clean up the mess.
Wow, so true. This is explained so well. Thank you.
This hurts deeply and I’m feeling it today and it sucks I’m never going to feel better I’m always going to push away the people I love with being too needy even if they love me back.
I hate this life so much.
You are not alone.
It' s me hier!
Greetings from Vienna
You're not alone. It's hard but we have to keep trying. Personally I'm tired of running away. I want to heal and I'm willing to be patient with the process and I'm in a country where we don't have access to mental health experts, my resorts are TH-cam and books. Please don't give up!
@@branan6935 💙sendin you love & Support!
It’s not easy…it’s really tough, but we’re all works in progress…just got to keep getting back on the healing Horse…hard AF I know…my belief is, it’s a lifelong job, learning ‘ourselves’…
I'm generally wary of the current trend to attribute every undesirable psychological state, trait, pattern and habit to CPTSD, but I have to admit that after watching a few of your videos, so far I feel incredibly called out. You seem to pin down a lot of issues I have far more specifically than therapists who I have had actual regular sessions with. I don't know what your background is, but you seem fairly competant with attachment theory and IFS, and you are very good at communicating things in a way that resonates very concretely. I'm finding you videos exceptionally eye openeing.
Nice and informative video 😊
I still trust easily and continue to get hurt over and over. 5 bad marriages. Yes I am drawn to untrustworthy people. But I can't stop it. I scored real high.
That's me all of them
OMG!! Your reading me
I need to get concrete tips on how to get out of it please
You are one of the best on TH-cam explaining the effects of CPTSD, if not the best Tim. Thanks.
I think I max out on the score by default as each question feels like an attack/gut punch.
I’m fine with now, not trusting. I am relieved and beyond relieved to not have to worry about trusting. My Dog, who has a heart murmur and has limited time, is only one whom I trust, and that is so relieving. I am grateful not to trust any Human. I don’t even contemplate it. I cannot imagine, even if ever healed, that I would trust a Human. Is that sad? No:)
Your mom is sad, for not trusting you.
8:00 lust greed power drives
I really appreciate how Tim is able to articulate these concepts in such an easy to understand and concise manner! I'm SO grateful!!!
❤
This quiz makes no sense. 2 of the questions are simply about the nature of the life I have lived: yes, I have been abused by trusted people. This means the minimum I could ever achieve on this quiz is 20 (2 x 6= 12, plus 8 (1 for everything else) = 22). What is this based off of???
I used to trust easily, believing few would have reason for me not to trust them. Now I've learned trust is not something i can do anymore.
You're not alone.
The same here. 😢
I think we should trust people until they give us a reason to doubt them or we notice a red flag.
Yeah, I'm 60.I trust god and that's it and that's earned
7:28 the trusting people as you described sounds like classical easy people to abuse and take advantage of. It sounds like a description of fools
Need to be able to set and hold boundaries. Also, trust is on a spectrum and multifaceted. Trust is also not all or nothing. Myself, I don’t know how to set and hold boundaries.
Why i have to take responsibility but no my parent who hurt me? They are dead now. happy in heaven but why i have to do it, its not fair. They were adults they should take resnponsibility, heal themself, not throw all their trash on me. Its unjustice.
They were likely passing on their toxic ipbringing. You now know better for you child and your own healing.
They did it but now it's your responsibility to get yourself out of this mess. There's no way around it. Otherwise you will keep repeating the same patterns of abuse. It won't be easy I think but it will be worth it.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. What taking responsibility means in this context: You have to take responsibitlity for healing, because nobody is going to do it for you. So even though it is utterly unfair that you ended up in this situation at all, the only two options you have now are to either wait for your abuser(s) to take responsibility (putting yourself at their mercy, with nothing you can do about it if they decide not to take responsibility), or to take responsibility yourself and heal. Hope you chose the latter, you're worth it 🖤
But this is overall the truth I’m almost 40. I think I’m still nice but you can have boundaries
58 score 😬
😢
life does that just fine. 😂
Mistrust is not a what’s the word, weakness, as it seems to suggest here. Mistrust is a strength. Trust has to be earned. You don’t give that away for free that’s nonsense. Even family has to earn trust as it’s been easily politically divided for centuries now. So many people giving out advice without any historical context and consideration. You can’t study sociology WITHOUT taking manipulation into account. It’s ALWAYS there.
The Chuck Norris of psychology!!!!!
Love and respect from Australia mate 🤠💎
Me too 😂
Good analogy
Brilliant to understand and digest this! Ty❤❤❤
Trauma in the social context most likely also plays a role with regard to social engineers, everyone should be aware of that!
("System Science", and the "Structural and Structureless Governance of Power", including Control and Profits.
„Conceptions of Global Governance“!
And the
„Cognitive warfare“,.
here (we can found):
for example you can check these open and official Paperwork and Documentation from the „European Security Plans“. (EU-Office.) ,
the Insights of the Strategy papers and plans of/for the „NATO".
„Cognitive warfare“,.
- methods against their own population!?).
"Human dignity
- can only be created together, who else should do it for us, if not we together for all other people and animated living beings (vividly Souls ;-) in favour of and with each other? Every single person is called upon to participate in this, please.
To be allowed to be human and to be able to live among humans ...
Being human.
To be loving.
Being peace.
Thank you
for sharing your wonderful informations with us.
Together we are strong.
Best regards
Beate
❤
I am open to trust until there are reasons not to. Then i back off. It doesnt take much to shake my trust.
Natural with age I think especially if you attract the same bs over and over
Yup same….
Yes!
I'm favored financially with Bitcoin ETFs approval, Thank you anna . $32,000 weekly profit regardless of how bad it gets on the economy.
Building wealth involves good habits and risks like putting money into solid investments like digital currencies,having a good financial manager is what people tend to shy away from,and it keeps hunting them in the near future after many losses, be disciplined and get certified advisor pray that anyone reading this will be successful!!!
Thank so much for the advice been seeking means of being successful in the digital market,do you recommend any professional ?
I don’t really do but luckily Anna Dorris Arthur is the best I can recommend so far..
Hey everyone! 👋 Just starting my investment journey in crypto and stocks. 🚀 how do I reach Anna Dorris Arthur? Let’s grow together.
+1🇺🇸
I just found out Ive been cheated on throughout a 2 year committed relationship. Devastated and had a hard time trusting beforehand. Future looks bleak.
I don't trust anyone, not even myself.
Many people don't innerstand the meaning of trust: When I trust someone, I'm capitalizing on their interest. This means that I'm an advocate of their support.
So, when I say that I "trust" someone, it doesn't mean that I'm putting my faith in them to do right by me. It means that my intent is to look out for their benefit.
So, the question then becomes: Are they in turn looking out for my interst, are they trusting me.🦋
His name is Frank 🤦♀️
I have trust issues
Please May I see you as 1:1