Thank you for making this video. It gave me some closure. The last two points hit home. I was called lazy for watching some TV after spending the majority of the day helping the narcissist. He also blamed me when he got splinters from picking up a piece of wood. How it was my fault for returning the wood and not being able to remove the splinters initially.
I relate to her song wo much i have a narcissistic mother i could write a book off my trauma but dont know how or if it would do any good or just make things worse.
I thought I knew what a narcissist was until I met one. It took me a bit of giving him the side eye and saying to myself " wait a minute this isn't right". So knowing what a narcissist to actually being with one is a big difference. I call them fun stealers.
Great analysis! Can you do an analysis on her new song “Karma”? I have a feeling that she’s had experience with NPDs. Her lyric “I keep my side of the street clean. You wouldn’t know what I mean” is striking. Narcissists leave a lot of wreckage behind.
I am having trouble identifying potential narcissism in a person I recently met. He ignored one of my messages suddenly (before responding frequently), then potentially made up that he didn't get the message. I'll just list a few more concerning traits here (aside from that he SEEMS empathic and asks a lot of healthy questions) : He once yelled at me in a voicemail before we even met, he asked me uncomfortable questions about divorce and bad experiences in a public social setting with other people present at the table, he tried to downplay narcissism in his colleagues, he most certainly made up a story about a person he knows and that I was romantically interested in. Ideas?
Once you have been in a relationship with a narcissist and sought "Counseling" due to it (belive me you will need it to overcome the truma). After therepy you will be able to spot a NARCISSIST immediately and RUN as far away as you can.
Omg. I’m watching this to figure out if I’m a narcissist. I abhor lying. That should be my first clue that I’m not. As the Dr G says, the fact that I’m questioning it, means I’m not. My mom (16years of hell; I ran away at 16) and husband (6 years of hell) definitely were. My current spouse (wife), is Not! (13 years of bliss) ❤️🏳️🌈
I kinda envy the narcissist mental prosses. Must bee good to always feel good about yourself and never feel responsible for your actions. It's hell for other people for for them it's comfy I guess
Dr. G, I’m so passionate about mental health and want to pursue a degree in social work but I can’t pass college algebra so I can move forward!!!! Any suggestions? (I’m on my third attempt and it’s my second to last class, besides statistics before moving on to my BA!!!)
1. talk to professor and tell him/her how important this is to you, ask how to study it, find out is there is extra work you can do to increase your grade (change teachers if you've had the same one), 2. get a tutor to watch you work and see where you're going wrong, 3. If you've forgotten your multiplication tables learn them right away so you aren't bogging down on that when your trying to figure out the algebra. Relax knkwing rhat in some way statistics is easier. Best wishes.
@@tardigrade9493 Aww well thank you so much!!! I decided to go back to school since my daughter is raised up and graduating high school. Im not so youthful anymore, I’m 40 this year! 😅🫢 Much love to ya!!
Taylor most certainly is aware that she is a narcissist. The meaning of the song is she's mocking people who think she doesn't know that she's a narcissist. She knows she's smarter than everybody else.
Be careful of the words you use. She is absolutely not “smarter” than most people. That indicates that no one else could do what she did. That’s ridiculous. She is below average singer and is a basic song writer. So we know she didn’t get where she got by means of talent. She got where she is by manipulation, perception management, and by leaning into playing the victim. The best thing that ever happened to Taylor was Kanye West. He made her the biggest victim. 99% of the world knew when Kanye went on stage we agreed with how he was feeling, but not how he went about it. If he never went on stage, Taylor would have had to face the media the next day questioning her win over Beyoncé. She wouldn’t have been the victim, Beyoncé would have been the victim. Instead we spiraled a mediocre talent into a cause. She made being a victim fun and popular and lucrative. Today, we have a 20-30 somethings who think honesty is a bullying attack. Taylor leaned in hard. When it was slipping out of the news, there would be a new interview. Taylor was caught asking interviewers to bring it up. She wanted it in the news because it helped her. We easily dismissed it because Kanye was the dick in the situation, but Taylor’s behavior was very telling. She enjoys and needs to be the victim in order for her to be successful. As soon as she starts slipping from the news, she’ll break up with the football player and the victim song will come. I am the type who could very easily do what Taylor does because I can see it. I usually can predict what Taylor will do next because she has a predictable pattern. The difference is I couldn’t live with myself if my entire career was manipulating and managing perceptions. That is why highly successful people are usually garbage people. They need to have the ability to hurt and use others consistently. 95% of us could never do it because we were not “lucky” enough to be born with a selfish brain or taught to lose our empathy for others.
@@JCJMC21Be careful of what? You misunderstand. The commenter is speaking from the narcissist’s viewpoint-Swift thinks she smarter than everyone else, that is what the narcissist thinks. It is not an objective fact nor was it posed as such. The comment is putting you in the narcissist’s shoes. Did you not understand that?
I'm a self-diagnosed Covert Narc. I am endowed with superior introspection and conscience to admit myself thus. The long history of mental illness, diagnosed through out my life as eating disorder/depression/BPD, long, long suffering and not seeing a light. And then, I came across Self-Psychology. It was a light-bulb moment when I made the realisation, several years ago. I live in a rural area and trained professionals are scarce, but sought a formal diagnosis far and wide and got it a year ago at an institution of Personality Disorders in the capital city. Run-of-the-mills psychologists in my area couldn't see passed my avoidant style of coping. So, I believe there are quite a few self-aware Narcs out there, just not telling you that they are.
@@rawlin1881 My behaviours? I don't externalise my issues, projecting my own sense of failure onto others like it is prevalent to Grandiose Narcs. For me, my narcissistic pathology is ego-dystonic(awareness that something is wrong with me) as opposed to ego-syntonic Grandiose narcs, ie: there's always somebody else to blame. I suffer inside.
Yes, mine is covert and never seems arrogant quite the opposite and they way I SEE THEM is so special but never fail to tear me down and make me feel small, and good but not good enough for him to stay. 💔 Most emotionally and physically draining feeling in life. Glad you were willing to get help to self reflect!!! We need more of you!
The entire song is SCREAMING of her suffering from BPD. My stbx wife has BPD and the first time I heard this song, my jaw hit the floor. I would bet my entire life savings that she has borderline personality disorder. Not to say she hasn’t been abused, because I’m sure she has and that can (in part) cause BPD but she is the common denominator in all of her failed relationships.
I’m Gen X. The only Taylor Swift album I’ve ever listened to is the current one. I’ve gone back to university for a career change so am studying psychology as an adult. I don’t think that stacks up. It doesn’t stack up with her trajectory through life. There are zero reports of her ever acting out in a professional context, and the way that she has dealt with the industry and made very clear, conscious choices and demonstrates a lot of internal stability. It just doesn’t align with BPD. I mean, none of us really know but given that she became famous in adolescence when BPD symptoms are typically most extreme, yet she acted out the least of her cohort of the era, and has had the most longevity, it doesn’t stack up.
The lyric that seems to be overlooked is “I’ll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.” My take on Taylor is that she is extremely sensitive to what others think of her. She sings a lot about her reputation and the fact that she burns through love interests often. She assumes that the majority of people see her as the antihero and that she is doing so much for us that it exhausts her. She is the ultimate victimized martyr who uses performative introspection to get attention and garner sympathy. She would rather stare at the sun than acknowledge that the person reflected in the mirror needs to let go of her spiteful attacks on her failed relationships and emotional immaturity. I think she would likely meet criteria for borderline personality disorder with vulnerable narcissistic traits.
So true they ruined your self esteem self confidence. My narc watch movies and ignore and is very good nice have nice image outside house but horrible to me and my kids always blaming lieing even our kids.they think they are heros and call you mental. The flip situations blame it on you... These peple cant be seen unless you live with them they have different personailty for outside world very good kind soft spoken and generous but to wife and kids horrible unempathic horrible hide cheat lie manipulate and only takes from you. never gives you anything in reltionships you are lrft in reltionship to do everything by your own and they cant handle to be exposed they are miser and generous only in people. They would ignore hurt and devalue you and treat you as you having them is a privilege to have them and you are so much below them and they are some kind of vvip or superior to you in all ways... Bring you down and by purpose hurt you ... My experience is very bad with narc husband... They finicially emtionally mentally torture and groom you isloate you from everyone and have no love no empathy no care no appreciation no support you get you are left to do everything making you feel horrible being in single reltionship while being married to them they dnt care for kids or wife ... And they by purpose create fights problembs hurdles in your life. compete and are jealous of you. They cant see you happy successful they will make sure to keep you under thee thumb ... They plot plan and can smile at your face and can be carrying inferiority complex inside to keep you down and not let you grow... Something is wrong with these narc... They stay in marriage reltionship for money and images and perks they get from person government or by there job and abuse it ... They would act calm infront of people but would scream and would go days months without talking to you dealing you like strangers and even there own children. They are miser and extremely selfish self centered they put them first and hold wife kids needs and wants.and they are extremely greedy everyone in narc life have purpose after they achieve it they discard you as bothing cheat lie manipulate and spread rumours about you steal from you money job time good enegery and left you when you need them the most.they are cruel and punish you for having to soeak for your rights and kids rights and having boundaries. Speaking for your self respect. Nobody desrive to be married to narc. Having kids is life sentences with the inhumanic cruel people they will go any length to give you hard time in divorce custody battle and still wont stop torturing you.they copy your traits and through there negativity to you. You have to agree and must say yes othereise you will suffer hell ... Thankyou for the amazing video...
You did ribs to the T what I went through. Even though years have passed you remind me what I went through but thank God I left when I did and never looked back.
And the context is the rest of the songs she wrote; How she is always the victim. That's why she referred this song as the one that is very honest for the first time. Taylor is becoming a self-aware narcissist. She has seemed to write this during a waking point.
No she’s no where near a narcissist. She’s speaking from self-loathe and self doubt. The theme of the song is how her mind always twists everything she does and makes it negative. Happens to a lot of us
Awesome video. Thank you very much. I liked and subscribe. What's going to happen to my brain if i stick around with a narcissist? I know im miserable but what else can happen that i might not be aware of? Thank you.
Thank you for making this video. It gave me some closure. The last two points hit home. I was called lazy for watching some TV after spending the majority of the day helping the narcissist. He also blamed me when he got splinters from picking up a piece of wood. How it was my fault for returning the wood and not being able to remove the splinters initially.
I'm sorry you had to go through this and I'm glad I could help you in some way!
Your name is Karen, so maybe it is your fault! 😅😅
@@Clark1967calling someone "Karen" is racist and sexist. Sstfhuyssoaboiwfky
I relate to her song wo much i have a narcissistic mother i could write a book off my trauma but dont know how or if it would do any good or just make things worse.
Great addition at the end. Forensic SW in Cola, SC. ❤❤❤
I thought I knew what a narcissist was until I met one. It took me a bit of giving him the side eye and saying to myself " wait a minute this isn't right". So knowing what a narcissist to actually being with one is a big difference. I call them fun stealers.
A perfect breakdown!
Thank you for watching!
Great analysis! Can you do an analysis on her new song “Karma”? I have a feeling that she’s had experience with NPDs. Her lyric “I keep my side of the street clean. You wouldn’t know what I mean” is striking. Narcissists leave a lot of wreckage behind.
I am having trouble identifying potential narcissism in a person I recently met. He ignored one of my messages suddenly (before responding frequently), then potentially made up that he didn't get the message. I'll just list a few more concerning traits here (aside from that he SEEMS empathic and asks a lot of healthy questions) : He once yelled at me in a voicemail before we even met, he asked me uncomfortable questions about divorce and bad experiences in a public social setting with other people present at the table, he tried to downplay narcissism in his colleagues, he most certainly made up a story about a person he knows and that I was romantically interested in. Ideas?
He also asked wether I am talking to my family. Seemed suspicious to me in terms of "Would there be anyone to save you?"
I think you should get away from him. Just my opinion.
I could be wrong.
You deserve a great guy 😊
Run!
Just the fact that you are uncomfortable with him. Diffently RUN!!!
This falls under “when someone shows you who they are, believe them” category. 🩶💯🙏
Once you have been in a relationship with a narcissist and sought "Counseling" due to it (belive me you will need it to overcome the truma).
After therepy you will be able to spot a NARCISSIST immediately and RUN as far away as you can.
Wow Great break down!
Thank you for watching!
@@drgexplains you're welcome 🙏
Glad a stumbled across this/you.
I'm glad it made sense to you!
Omg. I’m watching this to figure out if I’m a narcissist. I abhor lying. That should be my first clue that I’m not. As the Dr G says, the fact that I’m questioning it, means I’m not.
My mom (16years of hell; I ran away at 16) and husband (6 years of hell) definitely were. My current spouse (wife), is Not! (13 years of bliss) ❤️🏳️🌈
Hell to the yea- made it thru all the storms & got ur happy ending 💯🩶
Love you Dr. You are Brilliant and fare
the way you have explained🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Thank you! Come back later for more content!
love this!
Right on the money. Having been married to an N, what you say is true. Thank you
Taylor's the Narcissist
I kinda envy the narcissist mental prosses. Must bee good to always feel good about yourself and never feel responsible for your actions. It's hell for other people for for them it's comfy I guess
Cue sweaty palms and hard to breathe after watching this 😳
Dr. G, I’m so passionate about mental health and want to pursue a degree in social work but I can’t pass college algebra so I can move forward!!!! Any suggestions? (I’m on my third attempt and it’s my second to last class, besides statistics before moving on to my BA!!!)
1. talk to professor and tell him/her how important this is to you, ask how to study it, find out is there is extra work you can do to increase your grade (change teachers if you've had the same one), 2. get a tutor to watch you work and see where you're going wrong, 3. If you've forgotten your multiplication tables learn them right away so you aren't bogging down on that when your trying to figure out the algebra. Relax knkwing rhat in some way statistics is easier. Best wishes.
@@tardigrade9493 I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@tardigrade9493 I just have statistics to tackle. I’m moving forward little by little!!!
Whooo Hooo, so glad to hear of your success.. I'm74 and am tickled to hear of your youthful success. May you flourish in your career and life. 👩🎓 💐
@@tardigrade9493 Aww well thank you so much!!! I decided to go back to school since my daughter is raised up and graduating high school. Im not so youthful anymore, I’m 40 this year! 😅🫢 Much love to ya!!
Taylor most certainly is aware that she is a narcissist. The meaning of the song is she's mocking people who think she doesn't know that she's a narcissist. She knows she's smarter than everybody else.
Be careful of the words you use. She is absolutely not “smarter” than most people. That indicates that no one else could do what she did. That’s ridiculous. She is below average singer and is a basic song writer. So we know she didn’t get where she got by means of talent. She got where she is by manipulation, perception management, and by leaning into playing the victim. The best thing that ever happened to Taylor was Kanye West. He made her the biggest victim. 99% of the world knew when Kanye went on stage we agreed with how he was feeling, but not how he went about it. If he never went on stage, Taylor would have had to face the media the next day questioning her win over Beyoncé. She wouldn’t have been the victim, Beyoncé would have been the victim. Instead we spiraled a mediocre talent into a cause. She made being a victim fun and popular and lucrative. Today, we have a 20-30 somethings who think honesty is a bullying attack.
Taylor leaned in hard. When it was slipping out of the news, there would be a new interview. Taylor was caught asking interviewers to bring it up. She wanted it in the news because it helped her. We easily dismissed it because Kanye was the dick in the situation, but Taylor’s behavior was very telling. She enjoys and needs to be the victim in order for her to be successful. As soon as she starts slipping from the news, she’ll break up with the football player and the victim song will come.
I am the type who could very easily do what Taylor does because I can see it. I usually can predict what Taylor will do next because she has a predictable pattern. The difference is I couldn’t live with myself if my entire career was manipulating and managing perceptions. That is why highly successful people are usually garbage people. They need to have the ability to hurt and use others consistently. 95% of us could never do it because we were not “lucky” enough to be born with a selfish brain or taught to lose our empathy for others.
@@JCJMC21Be careful of what? You misunderstand. The commenter is speaking from the narcissist’s viewpoint-Swift thinks she smarter than everyone else, that is what the narcissist thinks.
It is not an objective fact nor was it posed as such.
The comment is putting you in the narcissist’s shoes. Did you not understand that?
I'm a self-diagnosed Covert Narc. I am endowed with superior introspection and conscience to admit myself thus. The long history of mental illness, diagnosed through out my life as eating disorder/depression/BPD, long, long suffering and not seeing a light. And then, I came across Self-Psychology. It was a light-bulb moment when I made the realisation, several years ago. I live in a rural area and trained professionals are scarce, but sought a formal diagnosis far and wide and got it a year ago at an institution of Personality Disorders in the capital city. Run-of-the-mills psychologists in my area couldn't see passed my avoidant style of coping. So, I believe there are quite a few self-aware Narcs out there, just not telling you that they are.
Do you operate a facade?
Can you shed insight on some of your covert narc behaviors?
@@rawlin1881 My behaviours? I don't externalise my issues, projecting my own sense of failure onto others like it is prevalent to Grandiose Narcs. For me, my narcissistic pathology is ego-dystonic(awareness that something is wrong with me) as opposed to ego-syntonic Grandiose narcs, ie: there's always somebody else to blame. I suffer inside.
@@sayurii2526 thank you for replying to help me understand. What covert narc characteristics do you have?
Yes, mine is covert and never seems arrogant quite the opposite and they way I SEE THEM is so special but never fail to tear me down and make me feel small, and good but not good enough for him to stay. 💔
Most emotionally and physically draining feeling in life.
Glad you were willing to get help to self reflect!!!
We need more of you!
The entire song is SCREAMING of her suffering from BPD. My stbx wife has BPD and the first time I heard this song, my jaw hit the floor. I would bet my entire life savings that she has borderline personality disorder. Not to say she hasn’t been abused, because I’m sure she has and that can (in part) cause BPD but she is the common denominator in all of her failed relationships.
What is stbx and how is someone certain they have it?
I’m Gen X. The only Taylor Swift album I’ve ever listened to is the current one. I’ve gone back to university for a career change so am studying psychology as an adult. I don’t think that stacks up. It doesn’t stack up with her trajectory through life. There are zero reports of her ever acting out in a professional context, and the way that she has dealt with the industry and made very clear, conscious choices and demonstrates a lot of internal stability. It just doesn’t align with BPD.
I mean, none of us really know but given that she became famous in adolescence when BPD symptoms are typically most extreme, yet she acted out the least of her cohort of the era, and has had the most longevity, it doesn’t stack up.
The lyric that seems to be overlooked is “I’ll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.”
My take on Taylor is that she is extremely sensitive to what others think of her. She sings a lot about her reputation and the fact that she burns through love interests often. She assumes that the majority of people see her as the antihero and that she is doing so much for us that it exhausts her. She is the ultimate victimized martyr who uses performative introspection to get attention and garner sympathy. She would rather stare at the sun than acknowledge that the person reflected in the mirror needs to let go of her spiteful attacks on her failed relationships and emotional immaturity. I think she would likely meet criteria for borderline personality disorder with vulnerable narcissistic traits.
No no no this is complete off.
@@JackieThacker
How so?
So true they ruined your self esteem self confidence.
My narc watch movies and ignore and is very good nice have nice image outside house but horrible to me and my kids always blaming lieing even our kids.they think they are heros and call you mental.
The flip situations blame it on you...
These peple cant be seen unless you live with them they have different personailty for outside world very good kind soft spoken and generous but to wife and kids horrible unempathic horrible hide cheat lie manipulate and only takes from you.
never gives you anything in reltionships you are lrft in reltionship to do everything by your own and they cant handle to be exposed they are miser and generous only in people.
They would ignore hurt and devalue you and treat you as you having them is a privilege to have them and you are so much below them and they are some kind of vvip or superior to you in all ways...
Bring you down and by purpose hurt you ...
My experience is very bad with narc husband...
They finicially emtionally mentally torture and groom you isloate you from everyone and have no love no empathy no care no appreciation no support you get you are left to do everything making you feel horrible being in single reltionship while being married to them they dnt care for kids or wife ...
And they by purpose create fights problembs hurdles in your life.
compete and are jealous of you.
They cant see you happy successful they will make sure to keep you under thee thumb ...
They plot plan and can smile at your face and can be carrying inferiority complex inside to keep you down and not let you grow...
Something is wrong with these narc...
They stay in marriage reltionship for money and images and perks they get from person government or by there job and abuse it ...
They would act calm infront of people but would scream and would go days months without talking to you dealing you like strangers and even there own children.
They are miser and extremely selfish self centered they put them first and hold wife kids needs and wants.and they are extremely greedy everyone in narc life have purpose after they achieve it they discard you as bothing cheat lie manipulate and spread rumours about you steal from you money job time good enegery and left you when you need them the most.they are cruel and punish you for having to soeak for your rights and kids rights and having boundaries.
Speaking for your self respect.
Nobody desrive to be married to narc.
Having kids is life sentences with the inhumanic cruel people they will go any length to give you hard time in divorce custody battle and still wont stop torturing you.they copy your traits and through there negativity to you.
You have to agree and must say yes othereise you will suffer hell ...
Thankyou for the amazing video...
You did ribs to the T what I went through. Even though years have passed you remind me what I went through but thank God I left when I did and never looked back.
I thank you so much as my wife is 100% what you describe you could have not said it any better… in jesus name amen 🙏🏽
Please now do a Video analyzing the Body Language of Taylor with travis kelce and find out if they are a couplle or is it just pr 😅😁😎…
She literally just started dating an exact person who she always cries about lol she needs therapy
This makes me feel so much better about cutting my mother out of my life
Isn’t the more obvious conclusion is that Taylor is the narcissist, she’s flaunting what she is-And laughing at the fans for not getting it.
True Trump personality description
But in the song, the main persona is a narcissist.
And the context is the rest of the songs she wrote; How she is always the victim. That's why she referred this song as the one that is very honest for the first time. Taylor is becoming a self-aware narcissist. She has seemed to write this during a waking point.
No she’s no where near a narcissist. She’s speaking from self-loathe and self doubt. The theme of the song is how her mind always twists everything she does and makes it negative. Happens to a lot of us
@@willsonsaints455no she isn’t always the victim in her songs. You’d know that if you bothered to listen to her music instead of other idiots on ljne
Awesome video. Thank you very much. I liked and subscribe. What's going to happen to my brain if i stick around with a narcissist? I know im miserable but what else can happen that i might not be aware of? Thank you.
You can suffer health problems from prolonged stress
Ask yourself this why would you want to be in a unhealthy relationship? There goes your answer.
I guess i fear being alone, etc. I have to work on my fears.