I was and am still in the same boat. My computer has always been my escape and way to cope. This video is very much so how I feel and i'm glad there's others out there who seem to understand.
You're kind of cute👀 I know you will eventually find the happiness you deserve. It's also a mindset thing. I remember not leaving my house for a whole year, unemployed and stuff, but after getting the things I needed to get done and playing my cards right I am in a good place now. You got this!
And he’s able to actually talk about it. A lot people just shut down or blame everyone for their problems. What things did you do? I have definitely gone deep into escapism/isolation the past year due to some messed up things. Even though I am okay now, I still choose escapism and it’s like an addiction:/
Appreciate hearing your thoughts and feelings. It’s really relatable to me and I hope you feel better man. Being able to talk about this and even post a video is very inspirational. ❤
I've been slowing isolating myself more and more over the years, and it has made my problems so much worse. I've never seen someone else talk about this so openly, and I appreciate your videos so much.
A few things I observe you have going for you is.... You are very well spoken, smart, empathetic, kind, and strong for sharing your story online. If you live near San Diego I'd enjoy hanging out. I can relate to social anxiety, esp in the workplace. For me it's worst around guys. Also, I am an expert at escapism. I am 43 with no real friends. I just started getting counseling again. You should consider it if you aren't getting help right now. We don't have to do it alone and can improve/overcome anxiety. I have two online counselors right now, one on Better Help and another free counselor for problem gambling (but actually for compulsive spending).
yep thoughtfully said and encapsulated my life. For me, as a teen, isolation was both lostness within my own state of mind and an embodiment of the person I was unknown and becoming at different stages of my teen years. I was myself breaking down and analysing how I became so damaged when my mental state was going from yellow to red. I would always see the type of person I wanted to become and saw myself becoming but this version of myself I am tormented by it. being here and existing in this life is quite something.
You got that right, it's quite something! I just self medicated with marijuana for most of this year. But too much, too often (everyday) and now I am in a worse position than when I was sober for the previous 2 years. I am 30 days sober now and definitely feeling the affects of low dopamine and serotonin. Considering consuming weed again to feel more positive.
Thanks so much dude! You don't just talk about how to be a perfect human being and don't talk about life hacks. You just confront people with reality in a calm and comfortable, peacful way. When I watch your channel I get a feeling of confidence. Keep it up!
I'm 37, I first moved out when I was like 28, I've only moved out twice, and I wanna go back home now, because it's hard to live independently and actually save money. I'm doing psychology Honours, so I don't have time to work. But when I lived at home I didn;t always have work.
I was always bullied in school even in college. It’s hard to socialize with other people. I was always called ugly and don’t feel comfortable talking to certain people because I was always picked on
My problem was never being sociable. Its the fact that my positive energy has attracted more negative energy. Now everywhere I go I am seen in a negative light. Mostly because I do not have the same positive energy I had before. Life really sucks. I do not know what to do.
Heres something I did that helped me. Become friends with an elder person. They wanna talk and talk and you can learn so much from them and they will never judge you and will always uplift you when you talk negatively.
The moment I came home from school I hopped onto the xbox and binge ate chips. I watched tv. I never did any homework despite all the trouble and suffering it caused me at school and at home. Even in college/uni after travelling one hour instead of networking, trying to find internships, studying I would much rather take an hour home commute the moment the classess ended to hurry back to my bedroom just to avoid any pain. Yeah. I definitely had some moments when I wasn't distracted and realised like damn I really messed up.
During my teenage years, "Computer stuff/Internet of things" has become my escape. It has its PROS & CONS - a time killer, a place you feel much freedom and solitude (learn, explore, discover, etc.) and it can also make you feel sad, alone or lonely (isolation became a habit). Since I don't like, hanging out, too much exposure on the outside world with most of the extroverts do (the talking and socialization), it drains me. Though now on my 30's I've fallen to the white-collar job category, I was just an encoder until your workloads evolved - assisting & talking to people (a lot of socialization) physically & thru online. And yes you were right, Social Skills/Good Communication Skills can be master/learn.(This one is on your other video) Listening and rehearsing/practice makes it better. I still feel good to just have my "me time" hehe after the long day of work. Though, I sometimes(not often) do socialize and have some meaningful talks with friends personally (dine out). I guess, my piece of advice is not to focus on the shyness/the anxiety of social interaction and feel too bothered about it. I think, you just have to set and focus more on your goals of becoming the better version of yourself, overcoming fear and the things you want to do in your life. Much love, I wish you all the best!
If this channel had a greater reach, the amount of more people that would relate to this content is unprecedented. The strange thing is, this very well may be the person I relate to the most out of seemingly anyone, simply by the things he says. Amazing. Keep up the work.
I always wanted to make TH-cam videos, you make me think that maybe if I just talk about my life experiences, that would be interesting to people. Rerally want to see more videos of you talking about psychology stuff
Hey man! Cheer up! You have a place, a shelter, an internet access, a device, food for sure, you're gonna do just fine! As long as you're able to support yourself now, that's an achievement to be proud of. I am sorry that you're feeling this way and you've gone through, but you don't have to overthink because you're not what most people are or how people normally behave. As long as you're providing stuffs for yourself, you're good. We need to be thinking of the present and just learn from the past. But thank you for sharing you're experiences! Hugs!
Wanting to be alone or away from people is a defence mechanism. Society looks down on people who don’t want to socialise however for some people it can be a very healthy way to live and they a perfectly happy not being surrounded by people who just want to manipulate and control you
ive been unemployed for a few years now and ive been just playing video games on my pc. I struggle with keeping a routine and everytime i think about getting a job i get nervous and stressed because I dont like socializing at any work environment. i did have a bad childhood but im not sure if its because of that. But when i talk to ppl through video games i dont have much of an issue because i can be myself. but eventually i unfriend because its just a weird thing that i do. im still slowly trying to take a step at a time. i started doordashing and i do it once in a while but it helps with some cash. im very fortunate having family that helps me out. i hope one day i get to be successful in whatever i decide to do and return the favor back to my family.
4:08 That's how I've been feeling a lot lately. I'm 19 and have a job but I only work three to four days late at night so I feel like I have almost every day free now and nothing to do. I feel like all my dreams and aspirations are flowing away. I want to make friends and get out to do stuff but I'm not sure where to start.
Gaming gives them dopamine for free. What do you, the school, the society offer ? Additionally living isolated is not bad. I learned very much about myself without being distracted from outside. There is a reason why some monks in Tibet even go further and live for decades in caves for themselves. “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” - Buckminster Fuller I think AR Sports gaming is one step in the correct direction. I learned to overcome many things through sports (thai boxing). Augmented Reality/Virtual Reality gaming would probably lead the kids to play outside with others (e.g. in a real forest playing fantasy games within a projected environment with others). They will never give away gaming for your painful advice.
For those who are young dealing with this , try school and a job at the same time .. that leads to you getting experience all around . You won’t feel useless or like you’re not getting anywhere .. try and go out and do things so you can have experiences to talk about with people , if when you meet them . I’ve been through this and still struggle .. but I’m aware of what I’m doing wrong and the mistakes and the TIME LOST . Go out people and try to live your life not all the time but try to do it as often as you can . because remember the clock doesn’t stop ( talking about time ) life is beautiful man , find a hobby other than video games 24/7 , I have a ps5 and trust me I’ve lost all will to game .. ( this is for those that escape with video games ) because remember the games will never end , but one’s time is borrowed . I’m not perfect I had / have issues and they stunted my growth as a person .. and it makes me sad … but I try to be better and I see that change 🙏 Take care y’all
Oh Ben. I wish i had a friend like you in real life. I thought the same things . I don’t like being around people, i can’t socialize 😢 it’s so hard for me to communicate with people even though i do really want to
I would like to be your friend at least online chat or just playing video games. I think that's the only way we can communicate as Socially awkward person.
I really appreciate the time and the courage to make this and upload it for people to see. I too have social anxiety and it's been rough for months since I got back to school. I hope It gets better for me very soon. I want to give up right now and stop this. But what would happen to my life if I did that?
i think it's time for both of us to start working out. i was seriously working out a few years ago but i stopped because it is kinda the thing i do :( ... , anyway i got a huge confidence boost back than and i want to feel good again. my role model is Gerardo Gabriel (my height) if he can do it, so can i. no more escaping (compared to 10 years ago i was waaaaay more worse, i guess i'm "adapting" quicker to the persons around me.
School was the worst thing that ever happened to my life the only time I was happy in my life was after school. I never got bullied by students I was by teachers though telling my parents to put me on pills that made me have self harming thoughts
Hi Ben, i know exactly how you feel. I‘ve been struggling a lot with my social anxiety. Just so you know, that anxiety is definitely treatable and can be reduced to a minimum (or even completely healed). Have you considered doing therapy? All the best to you!
just found your channel bro and i really like the videos were you just talk like that. i feel like you have a lot more potential than you give yourself credit for man.
I hate shorts. F**k the shorts. I spend all day scrolling instagram and watching full length videos instead of shorts. I used to use them to escape too but i stopped escaping and started keeping myself busy. You do the same, it'll help.
This is been going on for years before gaming became popular most young adults would turn to drugs and alcohol to escape their problems you find a lot of them have emotional problems, mental illness, learning disabilities, being gay, and poor social skills.
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 1 John 2:15sinloveFather And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:2blamelessobediencelife For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Mark 8:36greedmaterialismlife Its not easy. I understand completely. Know however that Jesus is the only one who will keep us company and whole. I prsy you and other people who goes through the same will be delivered and know Him. Take care.
My life is peaceful and I have troubles but Jesus Christ gives strength through each difficult situation. He is my God, he gives me peace and Joy but I still suffer. He was crucified for my sins, he died and was resurrected on the 3rd day. He ascended In to heaven and will come again to Judge the world. My heart goes out to you. Jesus Christ is the only reason for why I choose to live my life every single day. Ask him to help you learn the truth about him so you also can believe he is God and he is good. He never leaves nor forsakes his followers. You should also seek therapy. You seem deeply hurt. It makes me sad and it's unhealthy for you. You remind me of my brother.💖🫂💖❤️.
I was close to being like this but I got a good job for my age at 16 I saved up all my money and got a fix up sailboat.I’m learning fiber glass Diesel engine basics and electrical.what everyone needs is a good labor hobby and good skills that can me valued to you and other ppl. with my boat I have learn so much and met meany ppl that I can help and can help me.video games drawing and stuff like is great and healthy but if you don’t a good in to the big world it’s all pointless. Being a shut in is going to get you know where I was a shut for 8 years and from my view at my current age I feel completely embarrassed it’s a endless dead end of loneliness and no excitement. If you say to your self I relate to this guy I strongly recommend getting a system going for your self weight lifting and picking a sport like surfing biking or swimming is a great start. And the guy in the video I recommended doing this to but it looks like you just don’t care any more but pls try to get something out of my comment every one deserves a happy and productive life. If any one wants to talk more this is my twitter is @tristanparkes4.
You’ve been open about your anxiety but you have a pleasantly calm demeanor.
I don't have friends. I'm an introvert with social anxiety. I have always avoided social events. I'm currently broke right now. I hope I'll be ok
I was and am still in the same boat. My computer has always been my escape and way to cope. This video is very much so how I feel and i'm glad there's others out there who seem to understand.
You're kind of cute👀 I know you will eventually find the happiness you deserve. It's also a mindset thing. I remember not leaving my house for a whole year, unemployed and stuff, but after getting the things I needed to get done and playing my cards right I am in a good place now. You got this!
And he’s able to actually talk about it. A lot people just shut down or blame everyone for their problems. What things did you do? I have definitely gone deep into escapism/isolation the past year due to some messed up things. Even though I am okay now, I still choose escapism and it’s like an addiction:/
I really enjoy hearing your perspective on subjects such as these - thank you for sharing :)
Thanks for sharing. I can relate since all I did was run away from problems and I never spoke to anybody about them
Appreciate hearing your thoughts and feelings. It’s really relatable to me and I hope you feel better man. Being able to talk about this and even post a video is very inspirational. ❤
Wow Ben thank you for sharing, I do feel the same way at times where my hobbies are more like chores than where I am actually enjoying it. 🙂
I've been slowing isolating myself more and more over the years, and it has made my problems so much worse. I've never seen someone else talk about this so openly, and I appreciate your videos so much.
A few things I observe you have going for you is.... You are very well spoken, smart, empathetic, kind, and strong for sharing your story online. If you live near San Diego I'd enjoy hanging out. I can relate to social anxiety, esp in the workplace. For me it's worst around guys. Also, I am an expert at escapism. I am 43 with no real friends. I just started getting counseling again. You should consider it if you aren't getting help right now. We don't have to do it alone and can improve/overcome anxiety. I have two online counselors right now, one on Better Help and another free counselor for problem gambling (but actually for compulsive spending).
yep thoughtfully said and encapsulated my life. For me, as a teen, isolation was both lostness within my own state of mind and an embodiment of the person I was unknown and becoming at different stages of my teen years. I was myself breaking down and analysing how I became so damaged when my mental state was going from yellow to red. I would always see the type of person I wanted to become and saw myself becoming but this version of myself I am tormented by it. being here and existing in this life is quite something.
You got that right, it's quite something! I just self medicated with marijuana for most of this year. But too much, too often (everyday) and now I am in a worse position than when I was sober for the previous 2 years. I am 30 days sober now and definitely feeling the affects of low dopamine and serotonin. Considering consuming weed again to feel more positive.
I just wanna hug you right now, hope you can feel the warmth i'm spreading
Thanks so much dude! You don't just talk about how to be a perfect human being and don't talk about life hacks. You just confront people with reality in a calm and comfortable, peacful way. When I watch your channel I get a feeling of confidence. Keep it up!
I'm 37, I first moved out when I was like 28, I've only moved out twice, and I wanna go back home now, because it's hard to live independently and actually save money. I'm doing psychology Honours, so I don't have time to work. But when I lived at home I didn;t always have work.
I'm so glad I found your channel
I was always bullied in school even in college. It’s hard to socialize with other people. I was always called ugly and don’t feel comfortable talking to certain people because I was always picked on
My problem was never being sociable. Its the fact that my positive energy has attracted more negative energy. Now everywhere I go I am seen in a negative light. Mostly because I do not have the same positive energy I had before. Life really sucks. I do not know what to do.
Heres something I did that helped me. Become friends with an elder person. They wanna talk and talk and you can learn so much from them and they will never judge you and will always uplift you when you talk negatively.
i feel calmer when i watch your video
The moment I came home from school I hopped onto the xbox and binge ate chips. I watched tv. I never did any homework despite all the trouble and suffering it caused me at school and at home. Even in college/uni after travelling one hour instead of networking, trying to find internships, studying I would much rather take an hour home commute the moment the classess ended to hurry back to my bedroom just to avoid any pain.
Yeah. I definitely had some moments when I wasn't distracted and realised like damn I really messed up.
During my teenage years, "Computer stuff/Internet of things" has become my escape. It has its PROS & CONS - a time killer, a place you feel much freedom and solitude (learn, explore, discover, etc.) and it can also make you feel sad, alone or lonely (isolation became a habit). Since I don't like, hanging out, too much exposure on the outside world with most of the extroverts do (the talking and socialization), it drains me.
Though now on my 30's I've fallen to the white-collar job category, I was just an encoder until your workloads evolved - assisting & talking to people (a lot of socialization) physically & thru online.
And yes you were right, Social Skills/Good Communication Skills can be master/learn.(This one is on your other video)
Listening and rehearsing/practice makes it better.
I still feel good to just have my "me time" hehe after the long day of work. Though, I sometimes(not often) do socialize and have some meaningful talks with friends personally (dine out).
I guess, my piece of advice is not to focus on the shyness/the anxiety of social interaction and feel too bothered about it.
I think, you just have to set and focus more on your goals of becoming the better version of yourself, overcoming fear and the things you want to do in your life.
Much love, I wish you all the best!
If this channel had a greater reach, the amount of more people that would relate to this content is unprecedented. The strange thing is, this very well may be the person I relate to the most out of seemingly anyone, simply by the things he says. Amazing. Keep up the work.
Great videos super relatable. Wish you had more videos
I always wanted to make TH-cam videos, you make me think that maybe if I just talk about my life experiences, that would be interesting to people. Rerally want to see more videos of you talking about psychology stuff
Hey man! Cheer up! You have a place, a shelter, an internet access, a device, food for sure, you're gonna do just fine! As long as you're able to support yourself now, that's an achievement to be proud of. I am sorry that you're feeling this way and you've gone through, but you don't have to overthink because you're not what most people are or how people normally behave. As long as you're providing stuffs for yourself, you're good. We need to be thinking of the present and just learn from the past. But thank you for sharing you're experiences! Hugs!
Wanting to be alone or away from people is a defence mechanism. Society looks down on people who don’t want to socialise however for some people it can be a very healthy way to live and they a perfectly happy not being surrounded by people who just want to manipulate and control you
This is me to a T. Escapism and denial is how I live my life... :(
ive been unemployed for a few years now and ive been just playing video games on my pc. I struggle with keeping a routine and everytime i think about getting a job i get nervous and stressed because I dont like socializing at any work environment. i did have a bad childhood but im not sure if its because of that. But when i talk to ppl through video games i dont have much of an issue because i can be myself. but eventually i unfriend because its just a weird thing that i do. im still slowly trying to take a step at a time. i started doordashing and i do it once in a while but it helps with some cash. im very fortunate having family that helps me out. i hope one day i get to be successful in whatever i decide to do and return the favor back to my family.
Best of luck friend.
Take time to escape this hell man
4:08 That's how I've been feeling a lot lately. I'm 19 and have a job but I only work three to four days late at night so I feel like I have almost every day free now and nothing to do. I feel like all my dreams and aspirations are flowing away. I want to make friends and get out to do stuff but I'm not sure where to start.
Fascinating
Gaming gives them dopamine for free. What do you, the school, the society offer ? Additionally living isolated is not bad. I learned very much about myself without being distracted from outside. There is a reason why some monks in Tibet even go further and live for decades in caves for themselves.
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” - Buckminster Fuller
I think AR Sports gaming is one step in the correct direction. I learned to overcome many things through sports (thai boxing). Augmented Reality/Virtual Reality gaming would probably lead the kids to play outside with others (e.g. in a real forest playing fantasy games within a projected environment with others). They will never give away gaming for your painful advice.
For those who are young dealing with this , try school and a job at the same time .. that leads to you getting experience all around . You won’t feel useless or like you’re not getting anywhere .. try and go out and do things so you can have experiences to talk about with people , if when you meet them . I’ve been through this and still struggle .. but I’m aware of what I’m doing wrong and the mistakes and the TIME LOST . Go out people and try to live your life not all the time but try to do it as often as you can . because remember the clock doesn’t stop ( talking about time ) life is beautiful man , find a hobby other than video games 24/7 , I have a ps5 and trust me I’ve lost all will to game .. ( this is for those that escape with video games ) because remember the games will never end , but one’s time is borrowed . I’m not perfect I had / have issues and they stunted my growth as a person .. and it makes me sad … but I try to be better and I see that change 🙏 Take care y’all
Oh Ben. I wish i had a friend like you in real life. I thought the same things . I don’t like being around people, i can’t socialize 😢 it’s so hard for me to communicate with people even though i do really want to
I would like to be your friend at least online chat or just playing video games. I think that's the only way we can communicate as Socially awkward person.
I can't stop thinking about you, Ben, and hoping you're doing alright. Do you have any other socials we can follow you on?
I wanna know too !
I resonate with this heavily. I just wish there was something to do to get out of this situation. Other than getting or a girlfriend or you know what.
I feel like we are the same type.
❤️
I really appreciate the time and the courage to make this and upload it for people to see. I too have social anxiety and it's been rough for months since I got back to school. I hope It gets better for me very soon. I want to give up right now and stop this. But what would happen to my life if I did that?
And I just realized that I felt less alone with these thoughts bc of you ❤️ thank you!
i think it's time for both of us to start working out. i was seriously working out a few years ago but i stopped because it is kinda the thing i do :( ... , anyway i got a huge confidence boost back than and i want to feel good again. my role model is Gerardo Gabriel (my height) if he can do it, so can i. no more escaping (compared to 10 years ago i was waaaaay more worse, i guess i'm "adapting" quicker to the persons around me.
School was the worst thing that ever happened to my life the only time I was happy in my life was after school. I never got bullied by students I was by teachers though telling my parents to put me on pills that made me have self harming thoughts
Hi Ben, i know exactly how you feel. I‘ve been struggling a lot with my social anxiety. Just so you know, that anxiety is definitely treatable and can be reduced to a minimum (or even completely healed). Have you considered doing therapy? All the best to you!
Also, you come off as such a pleasant guy. You have a lot going for yourself
just found your channel bro and i really like the videos were you just talk like that. i feel like you have a lot more potential than you give yourself credit for man.
Obsessive thoughts.
I hate shorts. F**k the shorts. I spend all day scrolling instagram and watching full length videos instead of shorts. I used to use them to escape too but i stopped escaping and started keeping myself busy. You do the same, it'll help.
Great video, thank you for ur time and thoughts.
its ok, yyour not alonee ..... im kiind off tthee ssame boat..
Do you live with your parents still? or did it help moving away
This is been going on for years before gaming became popular most young adults would turn to drugs and alcohol to escape their problems you find a lot of them have emotional problems, mental illness, learning disabilities, being gay, and poor social skills.
Have you checked out Game Quitters on TH-cam?
I highly recommend getting some exercise, running or lifting weights, it does wonders for your mental outlook on life.
i see myself to you
You have a guidance system, don’t beat up on yourself. Have you tried meditating?
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
1 John 2:15sinloveFather
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Romans 12:2blamelessobediencelife
For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
Mark 8:36greedmaterialismlife
Its not easy. I understand completely. Know however that Jesus is the only one who will keep us company and whole. I prsy you and other people who goes through the same will be delivered and know Him. Take care.
I want to live with you we should be friend, i want job , and place to stay could i stay at your home?
🤍
Have you got any sort of income aside from this yet?
Do you think you're neurodivergent?
probably
My life is peaceful and I have troubles but Jesus Christ gives strength through each difficult situation.
He is my God, he gives me peace and Joy but I still suffer. He was crucified for my sins, he died and was resurrected on the 3rd day. He ascended In to heaven and will come again to Judge the world. My heart goes out to you. Jesus Christ is the only reason for why I choose to live my life every single day. Ask him to help you learn the truth about him so you also can believe he is God and he is good. He never leaves nor forsakes his followers.
You should also seek therapy. You seem deeply hurt. It makes me sad and it's unhealthy for you. You remind me of my brother.💖🫂💖❤️.
I was close to being like this but I got a good job for my age at 16 I saved up all my money and got a fix up sailboat.I’m learning fiber glass Diesel engine basics and electrical.what everyone needs is a good labor hobby and good skills that can me valued to you and other ppl. with my boat I have learn so much and met meany ppl that I can help and can help me.video games drawing and stuff like is great and healthy but if you don’t a good in to the big world it’s all pointless. Being a shut in is going to get you know where I was a shut for 8 years and from my view at my current age I feel completely embarrassed it’s a endless dead end of loneliness and no excitement. If you say to your self I relate to this guy I strongly recommend getting a system going for your self weight lifting and picking a sport like surfing biking or swimming is a great start. And the guy in the video I recommended doing this to but it looks like you just don’t care any more but pls try to get something out of my comment every one deserves a happy and productive life. If any one wants to talk more this is my twitter is @tristanparkes4.
❤
♥️
💛
❤️