I'm cis, but I feel like I find myself following more and more trans men. And I've been trying to figure out why and I think it's (generally, not to paint with too broad a brush or anything) because y'all are some of the best examples of non-toxic masculinity out there. Anyway, thanks for putting yourself out there Jackson, I've learned a lot from you.
That’s a really interesting perspective. I’m always curious about how people deconstruct their identity in terms of society’s gender assumptions. How much of that is superficial gendered cultural norms and how much reflects, as with Jackson, being intrinsically male? Eg are you drawn to dressing a certain way because that’s how people dress in our culture? How different would it be in a culture where it’s very different? What drives the choices that are made which have changed along with the transition?
Toxic masculinity 🤣😂🤣😂 When a guy says eat me,or bite me ,he is not being literal... Don't bite men and no matter how toxic they might be,you should be fine... You don't actually eat a Loli pop, you suck on it,so stuff like that should be fine...
@@fragolegirl2002 Yeah same, I've been subbed for a bit now and his videos are always a good watch. Plus he's from DFW, which is where I'm from. So that's neat, lol.
I remember seeing a post about a trans guy talking with his dad about feeling insecure because his facial hair hadn't filled in much, and his dad said, "That's because you're 23, wait until you're 40."
It truly can take forever to grow in... Which was a blessin for me tho, esp combined with my bein XXY, as my beard hair nvr rly filled in on my face before i started HRT... and i honestly love havin a mane of red beard hair encirclin my prty and feminised face :3 Its a unique look and one that truly befits me and makes me feel more otherkin on my high kingender days.
I was scared af, excited as hell, and just a general ball of nerves for my first HRT appt. I got the testosterone cream (I didn't feel comfortable starting out with injections) and the first application i slapped it on really quick and had to sit on my hands to keep from washing it off i was so nervous 😂 I'm almost six months in now, and i count starting T as probably the best decision of my life to date. The changes aren't happening super fast for me, but just having those "right" hormones in my body makes me feel more like myself than i have in many years (I'm in my early 30's). I know starting is hard. It's complex, and emotionally messy. I'm gonna pass on what my trans momma told me: enjoy the process, because you only get to do it the first time once 😉
You and Ash Hardell were both hugely important to me when I started self-realizing, and I'm really glad both of you have recently resurfaced and started making videos again. I'm glad you're doing well and surviving the pandemic, and I'm really glad to see you so happy with where you're at in your transition. You're also looking real good these days bud, T's working wonders for you. Good luck with the garden.
@@jackisnotabird Gods yee; both of yall are fantastic and Ash's vid is just all that and more. So glad they were willin to put all that out there cuz it needs to be listened to.
Hey, Jackson. Your 5-year timeline was instrumental in cracking my egg and I'm just about ready to come out and begin socially and medically transitioning, and this video is gold. You have been and will continue to be a major inspiration to me. Thank you for this video and I hope your journey continues to reward you.
This was likewise for me. I’m glad to see someone else met with a tough yet amazing realization/acknowledgement from the same video. If you’d ever like to share our experiences as we go on, I can give you my email and we can become pen pals. :)
I sent my Mum the link to Jackson’s 5 years video and it really helped her to understand a little bit more although she kinda already knew years ago! 🤓
I have my first appointment with a gender therapist on my birthday next month ! If all goes well I’ll be able to start T at the end of this year and i’m so fucking excited !! Thank you so much for sharing parts of your journey; your videos have helped me so so much in figuring out who I am and always remind me that even though its hard transitioning is possible and I’m not alone in this.
Even though I'm a trans woman, a lot of what you have shared over the years have resonated with me. There's a lot of commonality in what drives us to transition, despite heading in opposite directions.
Yes! I've learned so much from listening to trans women as well. I'm glad some of this still resonates even though I center it so much on trans masculine experiences---just don't want to speak for an experience I haven't had, y'know.
@@jackisnotabird The experience is shared. Regardless of the starting point, we are all answering the call to authenticity. It is not the beginning nor the end that defines us, ...it is the road.
I've been working with some teen trans guys and I find myself being a bit of a dad, too. I guess this is what it is to be a trans person in our 30s... Kinda diggin' it! Also, Jackson, you have to connect with a museum or something, because your dedication to documentation is going to be really useful to someone a century from now when they are writing about the early Gender Deconstruction period. I'm just guessing at what they might call this time period one day... Transgender Revolution of the early 21st century? Whatever. Just tell the Smithsonian you've got some data for them in your will or something and I thank you in advance, because I am the worst at documenting my life and I want someone to know about us and what it was like.
I totally agree with this. Of all the videos and info I've seen, yours seems to be the most informative and educational. And it does document so much with so much honesty as well.
Oh, hey! I've got an update on queer (and sometimes trans) history stuff, if anyone is into that. There's this awesome podcast, from Australia, called, "Queer as Fact," about queer and trans world history. It's fantastic!
Thank you for being so open! Good luck! I'm not trans, but I definitely feel like once we unlearn the societal crap we think we want in our lives and are able to learn what we actually want out of life, life opens up and true happiness is attainable. Once I stopped fighting becoming my dad and once I started wearing my joy on my sleeve and accepted and embraced being asexual I've been living my best life! 😁
My aceness was the first step on a long and windin journey, but it rly did lay down the foundational beliefs, esp thanks to the online communities i joined, that allowed me to, once aware of nonbinary existence, become my truer self and keep bein even truer to myself. Im even open about my kinks and kink adjacent stuff now which wudve shocked my baby ace self for many reasons but mostly cuz it was truly my grtest shame... But it was also the only way i cud feel like my gender self instd of the gender forced on me. So its all rather intertwined for me but turns out thats a good thing as it made it much easier to open up about it all; as each time i opened up more there was a little bit more about some other part of me that was there for others in the know to see. Thus i attracted other NDs and other similarly kinky folks and other polyamorous folks. They saw the hints and helped me to open up about more of me and they celebrated my existence and celebrated me gettin to experience myself freely. Nearly none were exactly the same as me either; in every case some were always allies, often most were allies who were aware cuz of tangential reasons. Thats the best part of the journey, seein the vastly growin number of allies that often outnumber those of us in communities... Tho the allies dont outvoice us, they lift up our voices for all to hear.
Amazing video! 😊 I’m a trans girl…When I started Estrogen hormone therapy in 2017. I remember all the changes in my body…I felt reborn!!! My breasts started developing, my skin softened, hips widened and I grew my hair out. And I just had (post-op) bottom surgery last year. Both my parents and friends support me since I transitioned 5 years ago. I love the authentic me 😊
I’ve been out and on T for a little over a year now and the confidence boost is unreal. I have always been kind of a meek, quiet, people pleaser but now I feel strong enough mentally and emotionally to stand up for myself and my needs when I need to. It’s an amazing thing!
I'm always floored by how well-worded, relatable and frankly relieving these videos are, there is such a comforting sense to know that there's someone else who gets it
Thank you so much for making these videos Jackson. I’ve been feeling pretty dysphoric recently about my voice after a year on T, but it’s so nice to be reminded that everyone’s transition timeline is different. I remember rewatching your 5 years on T video last fall, when I was 6 months on T. Now just over half a year later, I’m four weeks post top surgery! Which still kinda shocks me as I got it two weeks after my insurance approved it! Anyway, thank you for being you, and for using your platform to help people like me. 😊❤️
Yeah, I'm a trans woman and I get SO MANY ads for period pants. I mean, nice that the algorithm knows, I'm a woman, but I really have no use for period products 🤷♀ And thank you for sharing your journey. I feel like we mostly only get to see the struggle and the first few years, but it just makes me so happy to see trans people just getting older and enjoying their lifes.
@@1st1anarkissed You don't need to transition to get ads for tools and machinery. You just need to be interested in them, whether you're a man or a woman.
I've been on T since July 2016. My speaking voice ended up landing in a place other folks have called androgynous, which is what I wanted - my original main purpose with T was to banish my "squeaky girl voice". I was surprised by how low my *singing* voice got, not in a bad way, just in a "I did NOT expect that based on my speaking register" way. Back when it was in any degree of 'shape' as a chorus kid in high school, I was a 2nd soprano. I'm now squarely a baritone...and have NO idea how to make this new instrument work. It does NOT respond to the remnants of muscle memory for how singing used to work. My facial hair I knew going in - thanks to both poor genetics in that regard AND previous total-body irradiation that fried my hair follicles everywhere - was going to be...dodgy at best, and it does remain comedically patchy. Masks for pandemic + an absence of fucks to give means I don't really bother with it beyond the eyeballing it in the mirror sometimes to commend it for still being weird. As for targeted ads, I haven't had to deal with them...probably because I avoid, mostly by blocking, them where and whenever possible.
Muscle memory with singing is so real! I still haven't figured out how to sing again (I haven't put any effort into it), but often a song comes on that I was used to singing pre-T and my vocal chords try to do what they used to for that song and it's a disaster, haha.
@jackson There are lots of TH-cam videos that can help with voice placement for singing; it's taken me awhile, but I'm finally starting to find all my notes again (also a baritone, but have like 4 octaves with falsetto, which is insane!). Basically, slides and/or scales are the way to go! Practicing that every day will make a huge difference. I also like Jeff Rolka's vocal warm-ups. 😊
Wonderful video as always! I started T 5 months ago and it's been wild to see some of the changes that have taken place and to realise the ones that I didn't notice at the time. I saw my sister for the first time in ages after 4 months on T and she just stared at me for a minute and said "your body looks different". I didn't notice before then that my shoulders had gotten broader and my face had changed shape. Sometimes an outside perspective helps
Its been so fun to watch you grow into yourself over the years, thanks for taking the time to share Jackson! Also I love the Our Flag Means Death shoutout. Taika Watiti CAN Get It in those leather pants.
Please make a video on the slumps. I am 8 months on T and dysphoria has spiked and it's that strange in-between period and my depression has become a lot worse, where it had been non-existent the prior months of transition. Thank you so much for this video - needed this. You are wonderful with your words and I am so proud of you.
Just keep reminding yourself it's temporary, totally normal, and happens to most people. That's what helped me, anyways. I definitely plan on making a video about the slumps at some point. I've been drafting parts of it for years. Just want to get it right. Thanks for watching and your kind words. I'm rooting for you.
@@juliuspearson9390 Thank you, Julius. I think it's because I feel like the changes have slowed/are not happening fast enough, but I've read that's common from 6-12 months in. Definitely waiting for the better!
@@jackisnotabird Thank you, Jackson. I really appreciate that. I don't have any trans friends IRL so I haven't ever really seen anyone like me in person. It gets tough that way. (I have some online, however!) I am positive you'll get it right - your content is very thorough and detailed and I really appreciate that. I like that you take the time to really articulate what was happening when and exactly how you were feeling with transparency.
As a cis gay man, I'd like to remind you trans guys out there: it takes cis guys between 10 to 13 years to fully see all the effects of puberty take hold too. Puberty may start at 12-13, and might be mostly finished in 5 years, but you won't get your full shoulder breadth until 25, and lots of guys don't have much more than whispy peach fuzz until their early twenties, and chest hair takes forever. So if it takes us cis guys so long, don't get discouraged if your results don't happen overnight. We get butt hair before chest hair too. And by the time you hit 40, you'll start wondering why you ever asked for body hair. Ear and nose hair and bushy eyebrows start getting real, and are terribly annoying. You guys are valid, just as you are. I guarantee there are some cis male teens wishing they could look as masculine as you guys do.
thank you so much for this video! i started t and so far haven’t seen or felt any difference and have been frustrated with seeing posts by other people who started around the same time as me already experiencing changes (tho i am happy for them!!). this was a good reminder to remember there’s lots of others like me that just don’t post it
As a person who is now deciding if they want to do a mastectomy, I already feel so much surer in being non-binary and much more settled in my identity. Listening to you getting this kind of routine and being able to prioritze other issues - it gives me a lot of hope and joy to experience the next years. Sometimes, going through hard decisions and phases and hurtful, sometimes violent experiences, people just want to have a boring life.
this last year, while i still don't bind and haven't come out properly, i feel like i made a lot of advancements with my presentation. I've become a lot more comfortable with not being digestible to people, and no longer feel the need to justify or explain my queerness and gender to other people. I've developed a few new insecurities, but i know they're temporary, and overall I'm happier with the way i present. I've put my foot down when it comes to presenting more authentically at family functions, and surprise! my family didn't tear itself apart. it's such a lovely feeling to look at pictures of Christmas and birthdays and actually recognize myself and feel happy about the picture. I've found colognes and clothing that i like, and I think i look nicer and more confident. i really pushed myself to become more social, and it makes me so happy that my friends recognized it and support me. i still am terrified of romantic love, but I've come to accept that i need to work on myself first instead of numbing reality with pointless crushes and relationships only based on physicality. i also introduced myself with my chosen name and was open about being queer with several new people i met, and it felt great. im not where i want to be, and in some aspects my mental health has declined a lot, but progress was made and i feel better about my queerness
I just hit two years on testosterone at the end of February! It's good to know I'm not alone in the hair loss, it was the side effect that scared me the most when starting hormones. I also had top surgery at the start of February this year and finally feel a bit more like myself. It's funny for me because somehow while transitioning to be "more masculine" I realized that I'm not trans masc, but gender queer instead. It's great to hear an update about everything, especially since you were such an inspiration for me to feel more comfortable in being transgender. (Also, OFMD is SO good.)
Hi Jackson, I have desisted from being trans but your videos and experience was something I could really relate to and I thank you for making such good videos that are thoughtful and reflective I really love your videos still and I think they're extremely important to everybody, not just trans people. Your story is amazing and don't stop telling it. Thank you so much for providing solace for me when I identified as trans and for many other trans individuals. I do wish though that detrans people were included within the lgbt community though, or talked about more in a respectful and helpful way
I completely agree tbh. There needs to be more space and acceptance (and less weaponization) for people who do detransition. We cannot embrace the complexity of gender without also embracing the unique paths people can have with it.
I am excited for you Jackson! I am actually only a week on T gel and it's intrigued to see how things will be 7 years on T! Thank you for sharing your experiences with us!
Jackson, your openness and sharing are comforting and inspiring to your subscribers. I'm happy that you are content with yourself rather than angsting over perceived imperfections. You provide a more normal role model than those Instagram guys!
Well put!! Every time I thought about something else to accompany your thoughts, you then brought that up as well. Nothing but love for you buddy! Thanks for being here!
it's amazing how much damage the lack of diversity in (trans) experiences can do to you mentally. Thanks for this video, it came at the time I needed it most, Jackson. A hug from Argentina.
this video came at such a good time since i just made my appointment to start t! i've been stressed about changes and how fast/slow they'll come based on how other people experience them but it can be very hard to predict. like you said, it's important to have realistic expectations and be present, in any moment of transition, in order to stay grateful and know that you're getting to where you want to be. thanks for the great words as always!
i watched your stuff religiously right before i came out last year and im happy to say im 4 months on t. im glad i saw this video because i was going through a slump because i didnt have the luxury as most trans masc ppl to start on a normal dose. so changes are coming slowly but surely and you helped me feel better about it and i appreciate you so much
Hello jackson, my name is grey. ty for all the info. After all these years. Ur videos have helped me come out and realize who i am. I recently had top surgery like 2 days ago. And now im working on changing my name legally. And ive seen ur video about that topic too, my teacher is in that video mr rooke. Well what im trying to get at is that im just grateful for all the videos .
Your videos were incredibly important to me when I was figuring myself out and I just hit 9 months on T last week. It's sort of incredible to see how much change I still get to look forward to everytime it feels to slow.
I appreciate the honest update!! Have been following for so many years and have grown to find your videos to be comforting, like chatting with an old friend. Also I love all of your plants and bookshelves and cute little decorations! :)
I’m about to turn 18 and will soon be able to start T! Came out about 2 years ago and never looked back. You and many other transmasc influencers really helped me find out who I really am
It's so strange to be here again. 4 years ago I came out as trans and around that time I subscribed to your channel, and I'm back here again because I have an appointment for testosterone so I've been doing more last minute research on peoples trans timelines. Wild. Happy to be back
I came out as a trans man December 14th 2019 and as of May 19th 2022: I've socially transitioned. Change the s3x marker on my ID (I live in Arkansas, where it's considered a safety hazard for individuals to not have their preferred gender marker.) Getting enough in savings that I might be able to start T soon💖 Know for certain that my transition plan is what I want. And started being able to actually set boundaries that don't cave for other people's convenience. (They're only around my gender and transition but that's a good starting point, right?) I started crying at the end of this video... thank you, Johnson💖
Since coming out, I get ads for men's black sheer shirts, gender neutral jewelery, and men's underwear that make your package look impressive, and I don't hate it.
OMG Yassssss, the comment about the change in targeted adds is the best!!! I get all makeup, motherhood, or if I'm watching specific trans content, then it will show me ketch beauty laser, or biktarvey for hiv treatment (like thanks youtube for assumeing i have or will get hiv because im mtf). the funny part is when I get like car stuff adds and I start thinking, have I been watching too much male content? More female, more female!
Learning to love your body as it is post medical transition can be such a struggle. Like you said, cis bodies are just as different. Some don’t grow facial hair, or not until they’re much older. Some have wide hips, round faces, higher voices. And that’s ok. Take the steps you want/need and watch your body grow into who you are. 🥰
This video is so gold! Especially the last two to three minutes gave me so much euphoria and hope for my present and future. Thank you so much sharing!
Jackson you are awesome, thank you for sharing your life, much appreciated, my teen is ready to take the step so I'm doing my homework.. Oh hi from New Zealand and we all love Taika 😊
This video is awesome, thanks so much for sharing. I had knee replacement and I can tell you why you had the hair growth on your scars. Along the scar there is extra concentration of bloodflow for the healing process, and you know how annoying and hairy legs are! So imagine now with a scar on your leg, and increased bloodflow, and now extra hair growing there too, lol. Same for your top surgery, and with your t boosting, it also increased the hair growth. You look AMAZING!!!
Hi man,I just randomly clicked on your video and I feel it resonates with me so much. I'm now 2 months shy from being 6 Y on T and I'm still having times of disphoria which mostly concerns my face. It took me about 3 years to not being misgendered. At that time I was frustrated, knowing that my changes will probably stop soon, like for so many guys on YT. But that is not true, I can see small but very noticable changes that are happening this year. Those subtle changes are "big" enough to change my whole face! And only now I am starting to feel comfortable enough to date or to let my friend makes photos with me and then share it on social media. I heard T changes may take from 5 to 10 years, so anyone still not happy with changes. Wait for it!
Thank you for such a comforting, thoughtful video. I needed to see something like this today. You're right about how meeting other transmasc people irl can totally widen your perspective, vs what you see or read on the internet. I also feel called out by those Progressive commercials, but I disagree with them- the one I keep getting is the movie theater one, and it's just like, if becoming like my parents means being maybe overly courteous or cautious, or whatever, I'm ok with that. XD Being 'boring' can be really exciting, in a way? Because yeah. Maybe you never thought you'd get to that point. I really like the quote you brought up, judging yourself by what seeds you plant, not what you harvest. If you're only doing things and waiting for the harvest, it's going to be frustrating. Be proud of the work you're doing now! I love it. I've been trying to do more of that lately, and it's satisfying. So thank you for giving me another idea for my mental toolbox. :)
I was so disconnected from myself I didn’t even know I was trans until my mid 30s. I didn’t know I had lived my entire life numb, I had nothing to compare it to. I only knew how to be what I hoped others expected of me, and I was so dissociated I didn’t know what joy felt like. I worked myself to the bone into a corporate manager position, finished a bachelors at the same time, got married, bought a house, did weekly yoga, daily meditations. But my mental health kept declining over years and I couldn’t figure out why. Got divorced, left my job, sold the house, spent 2 years in a dark night of the soul and was lucky enough to have the resources for therapy. It was only when i learned to love myself that I started having dreams I was a man. I lived for 6 months socially transitioning which did help. Now I’m 1 month on T and I can see it’s what I’m meant to run on. It’s the first time in my life I’m grateful to be alive and can connect with others. Before all this I said gender was only a social construct. I think how our culture understands expression largely is, but the need to express is not.
It’s so wonderful and inspirational seeing your journey Jackson! During your book tour stop in Boston years ago, I told you that you inspired me to start my own transition and I’m happy to report that it’s honestly going pretty great. Even if E hasn’t given me the all the changes I wanted, I’m happier when I look in the mirror and I have FFS on the horizon On the subject of targeted advertising, I am getting so many more ads for clothing that looks cute as hell, but I know if I buy it, it will just be cheap crap
Honestly, I love seeing transmen's results. It makes me happier and prouder to be one I'm a young trans guy I can only dream of getting transition early and just think of the possibilities . On how amazing the results are absolutely amazing honestly man you are handsome I would love to dream to be like you someday I was just feeling down about myself this week because of stuff, dysphoria and something my mom said related to "You weren't like this before where's my little girl.." but watching your video about this just helps me physically and mentally to always stay proud about it. You are a inspiration for me now to look forward even if its a slow path and stay strong.
At the start of the video, something struck me as odd, unusual. Only when you started talking about queer people embracing change, I realised it was because I was watching you, a man, reflect on your life - and doing so openly. One rarely see men do it (for this and the following comment: SOME men, not none). Because introspection and knowing yourself is considered - I don't know - feminine or weak: A culture of "Real men don't feel", and if life hurts they soldier on or become alcoholics. Or at most confide to only their wife*, and only when at the breaking point. While reflection and introspection is of course a sign of true strength and balance. I notice again and again with transmen; that they reflect without fear and share about it as a natural thing. It makes me sad for people socialised as men growing up. It makes their lives so much harder than they have to be. Cis men yes, but I also notice it in several trans women I know: The amount of reflection that they are often willing to open themselves for, when they embrace their gender, is often overwhelming to them (being transgender can be overwhelming for us all, but not having been given good tool s for reflection doesn't make it easier).
It's been seven years already?! The changes are amazing, especially the self awareness and calm confidence that has grown alongside your transness. Regarding ads: I've been getting a ton of pregnancy ads combined with ivf ads. We truly live in a wild cyber dystopia.
The funniest thing about ads for me is I don't get any targeted ads anymore. Cause youtube is the only media I use that has them, and I have youtube premium so I don't typically get any. Therefore my "targeted ads" since graduating college are just sponsors for the people I watch. Aka a lot of Gfeul, Skillshare and VPNs and for quite a while a lot of Raid Shadow Legends XD though the last time I had a targeted ad it was for Dr. Squatch Soap so I'd say they had me pretty well pegged there. Targeted ads have lots of trouble figuring me out though cause my folks use my account for online pick up orders and I have a hyper fixation problem, and a "random curiosity" problem where I go down google rabbit holes. So one minute it was giving me playtex ads (finally got those to stop cause they made me uncomfortable) the next toys and video games, and other kids products/activities and then like Oldspice or Dr. Squatch and Manscaped etc. It literally couldn't learn as fast as my search and purchase history fishtailed before I went ad-free
Wow I haven't been on this channel for years even though I was still subscribed! I remembered back in the day when you started testosterone and something in the news made me think of you so I came back! Right (3weeks 😂) after you published a video explaining the past 7 years! Great coincidence for me and great transformation for you, waow! Congratulations 🎊
I also grow my own vegetables and herbs and the taste of it if you cook with it is just so good and thank you fot the analogy with the seed it helps a lot.💚
Thankfully I no longer get targetted ads after clearing the ads because they started showing me baby formula and beer and I need neither since I'm not a parent nor do i drink
I really relate to this. I'm a nonbinary person who got top surgery but no T. While I am perceived as a cis woman, at this point, I don't care. Like you, my dysphoria is as low as ever. I do see myself planning for the future & doing just boring adult life stuff. I actually feel normal with my chest flat, but have a feminine presentation. So yeah, my medical transition saved my life, & made myself more normal than ever.
I'm a cis straight aro lady and I am also turning into my dad now that I'm in my mid-30s. It's pretty great, not gonna lie. So glad to see you doing so great, hope you keep having the most chill, 'just-a-random-guy' time, and I look forward to more videos!
Thank you for your vids - they always help me stay positive and I love how you often look at transitioning situations in a different way than most others do and that's very empowering for me. Yes, I am in a dysphoria slump right now despite finally being on t and your video helped. And not just a little, but lots. Thank you for this!
Hey Jack. Thank you so much for this video. I am nonbinary and considering microdosing T now that I have a doctor who has a history of working with trans folks. I super appreciate hearing about the different effects it has on peoples bodies. Also, in regards to the question about targeted ads, mine actually tend to cause a lot of gender euphoria. Mainly because they can’t seem to decide how to peg me. Am I a young child? Someone in need of a good IPA, or a fancy razor? Or am I a mom of young kids? None of those are remotely true, but it makes me so happy that the ads can’t figure out my gender either.
Hi Jackson. I just found you. I m a CIS MAN. The is the only vid of yours (so far) that I have seen. Many thoughts are going through my head. Yet six words stand out in my head: I am so proud of you.
Oh wow we have the same T day. it was 7 years this year for me too. I was hoping to meet you at HavenCon in Austin but sadly can't make it. Have a great time!
9:00 Honestly one of the biggest reasons that rly sealed the deal on HRT for me, as i wasnt sure if some aspects wud make me more dysphoric as an enby (turns out, nope), was the fact that it wud almost certainly mean i wudnt lose my hair. I grew my hair long startin in freshman yr of high school and it not long after got to a couple ft length down to the middle of my back where it has stayed since. My whole exfams AMAB side of the line has hair loss in their thirties. I started HRT when i was 29. I am glad i waited as long as i did tho bcuz it meant my beard hair had plenty of time to grow in, even despite my bein XXY and thus havin much less T than others. It nvr filled in on my face beyond a moustache and a few cheek hairs. Which is fine by me as i both get a cool mane look to my beard but i also get to keep my prty and feminised face visible much easier.
I've had more gay man ads and "man spiritual meeting" ads :p I've been 1 year on T, my changes are going well but my confidance and the things I enjoy are all feeling uncertain. I am really in the emo teenage phase which is difficult but it is what it is. And this video gave me the hope again, thank you 🖤
You look & sound fantastic! Advice about the hair loss thing. Research indicates that diet, mostly increasing insulin resistance & its repercussions, is a huge contributive factor. So it might be worth your while to investigate this. Keto & IF should not only help with the hair loss but your health in general. All the best mate! 😁
I’m trans nonbinary (AFAB, they/them) and I’ve been feeling so dysphoric lately being 1.5 years on T. I actually kinda cried from relief a little bit. I’m feeling defeated about it and the changes being so slow. But I just gotta say that your video has helped me so so much
I’ve recently started getting targeted ads about hair loss and I’m already paranoid about it since I’m early on T. 🥺 I’m also getting more Carhart jackets and workout gear ads.
It's been amazing to watch your journey Jackson! You were essential in my own Gender exploration and provided a wonderful example of trans men existing and doing what they love! All the best!
It you are transitioning there is a very good reason to focus on the change. Once you arrive at the destination, or take too long and you actually pause and reflect on what you have done, it can be catastrophic BUT it might also be inspirational and fulfilling. The best thing EVER. Take your time, go through puberty and absolutely understand your sexuality and the enjoyment that brings. Be clear on what living as an adult really means. Your life could be like Jackson's or even Arthur Rockwell. Note they waited until mid-20's! Learning from that. Everyone is different but at 21 you can begin to think this through.. For some the post-surgery results of transition are VERY difficult given its hard to survey individuals after suicide: Henry Berg-Brousseau (24) Kayleigh Scott (25) Vanessa Vincenzo Barrett (33) and Ruby Taverner (22). Taverner is a tricky one given he first shot his transgender partner Ray Muscat (24) and then his brother before focusing on himself. This isnt how it ends when you wait and are absolutely sure. If you socially transitioned as a child - your head could be MESSED UP badly. Just be careful. You need to grow up before you made life changing adult decisions.
I'm cis, but I feel like I find myself following more and more trans men. And I've been trying to figure out why and I think it's (generally, not to paint with too broad a brush or anything) because y'all are some of the best examples of non-toxic masculinity out there. Anyway, thanks for putting yourself out there Jackson, I've learned a lot from you.
That’s a really interesting perspective. I’m always curious about how people deconstruct their identity in terms of society’s gender assumptions. How much of that is superficial gendered cultural norms and how much reflects, as with Jackson, being intrinsically male? Eg are you drawn to dressing a certain way because that’s how people dress in our culture? How different would it be in a culture where it’s very different? What drives the choices that are made which have changed along with the transition?
Toxic masculinity 🤣😂🤣😂 When a guy says eat me,or bite me ,he is not being literal... Don't bite men and no matter how toxic they might be,you should be fine... You don't actually eat a Loli pop, you suck on it,so stuff like that should be fine...
@@clarkkentsuperman5911 Bro, what the fuck are you on about?
Jackson is a very amazing guy. He’s good and kind. I really like him
@@fragolegirl2002 Yeah same, I've been subbed for a bit now and his videos are always a good watch. Plus he's from DFW, which is where I'm from. So that's neat, lol.
I remember seeing a post about a trans guy talking with his dad about feeling insecure because his facial hair hadn't filled in much, and his dad said, "That's because you're 23, wait until you're 40."
It truly can take forever to grow in... Which was a blessin for me tho, esp combined with my bein XXY, as my beard hair nvr rly filled in on my face before i started HRT... and i honestly love havin a mane of red beard hair encirclin my prty and feminised face :3
Its a unique look and one that truly befits me and makes me feel more otherkin on my high kingender days.
Holy crap, did I need to watch this right now. I just booked my first HRT appointment, and the emotions are COMPLEX
I was scared af, excited as hell, and just a general ball of nerves for my first HRT appt. I got the testosterone cream (I didn't feel comfortable starting out with injections) and the first application i slapped it on really quick and had to sit on my hands to keep from washing it off i was so nervous 😂
I'm almost six months in now, and i count starting T as probably the best decision of my life to date. The changes aren't happening super fast for me, but just having those "right" hormones in my body makes me feel more like myself than i have in many years (I'm in my early 30's).
I know starting is hard. It's complex, and emotionally messy. I'm gonna pass on what my trans momma told me: enjoy the process, because you only get to do it the first time once 😉
You and Ash Hardell were both hugely important to me when I started self-realizing, and I'm really glad both of you have recently resurfaced and started making videos again. I'm glad you're doing well and surviving the pandemic, and I'm really glad to see you so happy with where you're at in your transition. You're also looking real good these days bud, T's working wonders for you. Good luck with the garden.
I was so glad to see Ash back too! Their latest video is very heavy, but so important and well-done.
@@jackisnotabird Gods yee; both of yall are fantastic and Ash's vid is just all that and more. So glad they were willin to put all that out there cuz it needs to be listened to.
Hey, Jackson. Your 5-year timeline was instrumental in cracking my egg and I'm just about ready to come out and begin socially and medically transitioning, and this video is gold. You have been and will continue to be a major inspiration to me. Thank you for this video and I hope your journey continues to reward you.
good luck coming out. i am not quite there but i wish u the best of luck
This was likewise for me. I’m glad to see someone else met with a tough yet amazing realization/acknowledgement from the same video. If you’d ever like to share our experiences as we go on, I can give you my email and we can become pen pals. :)
@@seven1589 would you be willing to email me too? No worries if not I’d just like to chat with some like minded people 🤓
I sent my Mum the link to Jackson’s 5 years video and it really helped her to understand a little bit more although she kinda already knew years ago! 🤓
🤮🤮🤮
I have my first appointment with a gender therapist on my birthday next month ! If all goes well I’ll be able to start T at the end of this year and i’m so fucking excited !! Thank you so much for sharing parts of your journey; your videos have helped me so so much in figuring out who I am and always remind me that even though its hard transitioning is possible and I’m not alone in this.
Happy almost-birthday, and good luck on your journey!
Hii ? What happened? Are u on hormone now
I'm going to a gender therapist too !! Next week !
Even though I'm a trans woman, a lot of what you have shared over the years have resonated with me. There's a lot of commonality in what drives us to transition, despite heading in opposite directions.
Yes! I've learned so much from listening to trans women as well. I'm glad some of this still resonates even though I center it so much on trans masculine experiences---just don't want to speak for an experience I haven't had, y'know.
@@jackisnotabird The experience is shared. Regardless of the starting point, we are all answering the call to authenticity. It is not the beginning nor the end that defines us, ...it is the road.
I've been working with some teen trans guys and I find myself being a bit of a dad, too. I guess this is what it is to be a trans person in our 30s... Kinda diggin' it!
Also, Jackson, you have to connect with a museum or something, because your dedication to documentation is going to be really useful to someone a century from now when they are writing about the early Gender Deconstruction period. I'm just guessing at what they might call this time period one day... Transgender Revolution of the early 21st century? Whatever. Just tell the Smithsonian you've got some data for them in your will or something and I thank you in advance, because I am the worst at documenting my life and I want someone to know about us and what it was like.
I totally agree with this. Of all the videos and info I've seen, yours seems to be the most informative and educational. And it does document so much with so much honesty as well.
I totally agree!!
Oh, hey! I've got an update on queer (and sometimes trans) history stuff, if anyone is into that. There's this awesome podcast, from Australia, called, "Queer as Fact," about queer and trans world history. It's fantastic!
Feminists deconstructed 'gender' hundreds of years ago. You guys are putting it all back in place. That's not revolution. It's the opposite.
Thank you for being so open! Good luck!
I'm not trans, but I definitely feel like once we unlearn the societal crap we think we want in our lives and are able to learn what we actually want out of life, life opens up and true happiness is attainable.
Once I stopped fighting becoming my dad and once I started wearing my joy on my sleeve and accepted and embraced being asexual I've been living my best life! 😁
this is lovely to hear! thank you for sharing
My aceness was the first step on a long and windin journey, but it rly did lay down the foundational beliefs, esp thanks to the online communities i joined, that allowed me to, once aware of nonbinary existence, become my truer self and keep bein even truer to myself.
Im even open about my kinks and kink adjacent stuff now which wudve shocked my baby ace self for many reasons but mostly cuz it was truly my grtest shame... But it was also the only way i cud feel like my gender self instd of the gender forced on me.
So its all rather intertwined for me but turns out thats a good thing as it made it much easier to open up about it all; as each time i opened up more there was a little bit more about some other part of me that was there for others in the know to see. Thus i attracted other NDs and other similarly kinky folks and other polyamorous folks. They saw the hints and helped me to open up about more of me and they celebrated my existence and celebrated me gettin to experience myself freely.
Nearly none were exactly the same as me either; in every case some were always allies, often most were allies who were aware cuz of tangential reasons. Thats the best part of the journey, seein the vastly growin number of allies that often outnumber those of us in communities... Tho the allies dont outvoice us, they lift up our voices for all to hear.
What??? How has it been 7 years!
Congrats, dude! Love your content!
Amazing video! 😊 I’m a trans girl…When I started Estrogen hormone therapy in 2017. I remember all the changes in my body…I felt reborn!!! My breasts started developing, my skin softened, hips widened and I grew my hair out. And I just had (post-op) bottom surgery last year. Both my parents and friends support me since I transitioned 5 years ago. I love the authentic me 😊
I’ve been out and on T for a little over a year now and the confidence boost is unreal. I have always been kind of a meek, quiet, people pleaser but now I feel strong enough mentally and emotionally to stand up for myself and my needs when I need to. It’s an amazing thing!
I'm always floored by how well-worded, relatable and frankly relieving these videos are, there is such a comforting sense to know that there's someone else who gets it
The entire community is obsessed with gay pirates and I love that for us
Thank you so much for making these videos Jackson. I’ve been feeling pretty dysphoric recently about my voice after a year on T, but it’s so nice to be reminded that everyone’s transition timeline is different. I remember rewatching your 5 years on T video last fall, when I was 6 months on T. Now just over half a year later, I’m four weeks post top surgery! Which still kinda shocks me as I got it two weeks after my insurance approved it! Anyway, thank you for being you, and for using your platform to help people like me. 😊❤️
Yeah, I'm a trans woman and I get SO MANY ads for period pants. I mean, nice that the algorithm knows, I'm a woman, but I really have no use for period products 🤷♀
And thank you for sharing your journey. I feel like we mostly only get to see the struggle and the first few years, but it just makes me so happy to see trans people just getting older and enjoying their lifes.
The number of erectile dysfunction ads I get...
A Budweiser ad came on during the middle of your video, @Jackson ! 😄
I'm finally getting the interesting ads for tools and machinery. Not that I can ever afford a CAT dozer but I love to watch them work.
@@1st1anarkissed You don't need to transition to get ads for tools and machinery. You just need to be interested in them, whether you're a man or a woman.
What the hell are period pants?
I've been on T since July 2016. My speaking voice ended up landing in a place other folks have called androgynous, which is what I wanted - my original main purpose with T was to banish my "squeaky girl voice". I was surprised by how low my *singing* voice got, not in a bad way, just in a "I did NOT expect that based on my speaking register" way. Back when it was in any degree of 'shape' as a chorus kid in high school, I was a 2nd soprano. I'm now squarely a baritone...and have NO idea how to make this new instrument work. It does NOT respond to the remnants of muscle memory for how singing used to work.
My facial hair I knew going in - thanks to both poor genetics in that regard AND previous total-body irradiation that fried my hair follicles everywhere - was going to be...dodgy at best, and it does remain comedically patchy. Masks for pandemic + an absence of fucks to give means I don't really bother with it beyond the eyeballing it in the mirror sometimes to commend it for still being weird.
As for targeted ads, I haven't had to deal with them...probably because I avoid, mostly by blocking, them where and whenever possible.
Muscle memory with singing is so real! I still haven't figured out how to sing again (I haven't put any effort into it), but often a song comes on that I was used to singing pre-T and my vocal chords try to do what they used to for that song and it's a disaster, haha.
@jackson There are lots of TH-cam videos that can help with voice placement for singing; it's taken me awhile, but I'm finally starting to find all my notes again (also a baritone, but have like 4 octaves with falsetto, which is insane!). Basically, slides and/or scales are the way to go! Practicing that every day will make a huge difference. I also like Jeff Rolka's vocal warm-ups. 😊
Wonderful video as always! I started T 5 months ago and it's been wild to see some of the changes that have taken place and to realise the ones that I didn't notice at the time. I saw my sister for the first time in ages after 4 months on T and she just stared at me for a minute and said "your body looks different". I didn't notice before then that my shoulders had gotten broader and my face had changed shape. Sometimes an outside perspective helps
Its been so fun to watch you grow into yourself over the years, thanks for taking the time to share Jackson! Also I love the Our Flag Means Death shoutout. Taika Watiti CAN Get It in those leather pants.
Please make a video on the slumps. I am 8 months on T and dysphoria has spiked and it's that strange in-between period and my depression has become a lot worse, where it had been non-existent the prior months of transition.
Thank you so much for this video - needed this. You are wonderful with your words and I am so proud of you.
Just keep reminding yourself it's temporary, totally normal, and happens to most people. That's what helped me, anyways. I definitely plan on making a video about the slumps at some point. I've been drafting parts of it for years. Just want to get it right. Thanks for watching and your kind words. I'm rooting for you.
i went through that phase too around 6-8 months, it gets better xx
@@juliuspearson9390 Thank you, Julius. I think it's because I feel like the changes have slowed/are not happening fast enough, but I've read that's common from 6-12 months in.
Definitely waiting for the better!
@@jackisnotabird Thank you, Jackson. I really appreciate that.
I don't have any trans friends IRL so I haven't ever really seen anyone like me in person. It gets tough that way. (I have some online, however!)
I am positive you'll get it right - your content is very thorough and detailed and I really appreciate that. I like that you take the time to really articulate what was happening when and exactly how you were feeling with transparency.
As a cis gay man, I'd like to remind you trans guys out there: it takes cis guys between 10 to 13 years to fully see all the effects of puberty take hold too.
Puberty may start at 12-13, and might be mostly finished in 5 years, but you won't get your full shoulder breadth until 25, and lots of guys don't have much more than whispy peach fuzz until their early twenties, and chest hair takes forever.
So if it takes us cis guys so long, don't get discouraged if your results don't happen overnight.
We get butt hair before chest hair too.
And by the time you hit 40, you'll start wondering why you ever asked for body hair.
Ear and nose hair and bushy eyebrows start getting real, and are terribly annoying.
You guys are valid, just as you are.
I guarantee there are some cis male teens wishing they could look as masculine as you guys do.
Me, a cis, 29-year-old man, who’s had the same level of facial hair since his teens and same voice since, like, birth: 😐
honestly, the changing of targeted ads is so fucking funny. The gender euphoria of passing enough to fool the robots is goals.
I am about a week on T and I'm constantly getting *insert afab lower body part* cream ads lmao
thank you so much for this video! i started t and so far haven’t seen or felt any difference and have been frustrated with seeing posts by other people who started around the same time as me already experiencing changes (tho i am happy for them!!). this was a good reminder to remember there’s lots of others like me that just don’t post it
As a person who is now deciding if they want to do a mastectomy, I already feel so much surer in being non-binary and much more settled in my identity. Listening to you getting this kind of routine and being able to prioritze other issues - it gives me a lot of hope and joy to experience the next years. Sometimes, going through hard decisions and phases and hurtful, sometimes violent experiences, people just want to have a boring life.
Delighted that you’ve reached this happy state. I have enjoyed watching your transition into a lovely young man.
this last year, while i still don't bind and haven't come out properly, i feel like i made a lot of advancements with my presentation. I've become a lot more comfortable with not being digestible to people, and no longer feel the need to justify or explain my queerness and gender to other people. I've developed a few new insecurities, but i know they're temporary, and overall I'm happier with the way i present. I've put my foot down when it comes to presenting more authentically at family functions, and surprise! my family didn't tear itself apart. it's such a lovely feeling to look at pictures of Christmas and birthdays and actually recognize myself and feel happy about the picture. I've found colognes and clothing that i like, and I think i look nicer and more confident. i really pushed myself to become more social, and it makes me so happy that my friends recognized it and support me.
i still am terrified of romantic love, but I've come to accept that i need to work on myself first instead of numbing reality with pointless crushes and relationships only based on physicality.
i also introduced myself with my chosen name and was open about being queer with several new people i met, and it felt great.
im not where i want to be, and in some aspects my mental health has declined a lot, but progress was made and i feel better about my queerness
I just hit two years on testosterone at the end of February! It's good to know I'm not alone in the hair loss, it was the side effect that scared me the most when starting hormones. I also had top surgery at the start of February this year and finally feel a bit more like myself. It's funny for me because somehow while transitioning to be "more masculine" I realized that I'm not trans masc, but gender queer instead. It's great to hear an update about everything, especially since you were such an inspiration for me to feel more comfortable in being transgender. (Also, OFMD is SO good.)
Also my targeted ads have gotten so weird? I get a lot of manscaping ads and testosterone boosters but I also get birth control ads. It's a good mix.
"Try to enjoy the ride" Well said 🙏
You are a pure soul, Jackson! Thank you for making this video--it was sweet and soothing and inspirational. And I love seeing all your plants!
Hi Jackson, I have desisted from being trans but your videos and experience was something I could really relate to and I thank you for making such good videos that are thoughtful and reflective
I really love your videos still and I think they're extremely important to everybody, not just trans people.
Your story is amazing and don't stop telling it. Thank you so much for providing solace for me when I identified as trans and for many other trans individuals.
I do wish though that detrans people were included within the lgbt community though, or talked about more in a respectful and helpful way
I completely agree tbh. There needs to be more space and acceptance (and less weaponization) for people who do detransition. We cannot embrace the complexity of gender without also embracing the unique paths people can have with it.
@@Poppamunz right! Gender is so complex and people each experience it differently or not at all, and some people feel different a couple years later
Detrans and desisters are a hugely important area to study and feel compassion for
I am excited for you Jackson! I am actually only a week on T gel and it's intrigued to see how things will be 7 years on T! Thank you for sharing your experiences with us!
congrats on nearly two weeks! a year is gonna pass in no time homie
@@juliuspearson9390 thanks man!
Jackson, your openness and sharing are comforting and inspiring to your subscribers. I'm happy that you are content with yourself rather than angsting over perceived imperfections. You provide a more normal role model than those Instagram guys!
Well put!! Every time I thought about something else to accompany your thoughts, you then brought that up as well.
Nothing but love for you buddy! Thanks for being here!
it's amazing how much damage the lack of diversity in (trans) experiences can do to you mentally. Thanks for this video, it came at the time I needed it most, Jackson. A hug from Argentina.
this video came at such a good time since i just made my appointment to start t! i've been stressed about changes and how fast/slow they'll come based on how other people experience them but it can be very hard to predict. like you said, it's important to have realistic expectations and be present, in any moment of transition, in order to stay grateful and know that you're getting to where you want to be. thanks for the great words as always!
i watched your stuff religiously right before i came out last year and im happy to say im 4 months on t. im glad i saw this video because i was going through a slump because i didnt have the luxury as most trans masc ppl to start on a normal dose. so changes are coming slowly but surely and you helped me feel better about it and i appreciate you so much
Your changes are very noticeable, it’s great you do register them over the time
Thank you, for doing the video, i really needed it, and also i was missing your videos, you are a grat inspiration jackson😸
Happy 7 year anniversary.
Hello jackson, my name is grey. ty for all the info. After all these years. Ur videos have helped me come out and realize who i am. I recently had top surgery like 2 days ago. And now im working on changing my name legally. And ive seen ur video about that topic too, my teacher is in that video mr rooke. Well what im trying to get at is that im just grateful for all the videos .
You’re an inspiration! So glad you’re finally your true self❤ You’re so handsome!
Your videos were incredibly important to me when I was figuring myself out and I just hit 9 months on T last week. It's sort of incredible to see how much change I still get to look forward to everytime it feels to slow.
I appreciate the honest update!! Have been following for so many years and have grown to find your videos to be comforting, like chatting with an old friend. Also I love all of your plants and bookshelves and cute little decorations! :)
Always such a joy to see a video from you, Jackson!
Very insightful and wise comments. I’m sure you helped a lot of people!
I’m about to turn 18 and will soon be able to start T! Came out about 2 years ago and never looked back. You and many other transmasc influencers really helped me find out who I really am
I've watched your channel for years and loved watching you grow! ❤❤
It's so strange to be here again. 4 years ago I came out as trans and around that time I subscribed to your channel, and I'm back here again because I have an appointment for testosterone so I've been doing more last minute research on peoples trans timelines. Wild. Happy to be back
Can't believe it's been 7 years! I've watched you since the early days and what a joy it's been to see you become a more comfortable you :)
I came out as a trans man December 14th 2019 and as of May 19th 2022:
I've socially transitioned.
Change the s3x marker on my ID (I live in Arkansas, where it's considered a safety hazard for individuals to not have their preferred gender marker.)
Getting enough in savings that I might be able to start T soon💖
Know for certain that my transition plan is what I want.
And started being able to actually set boundaries that don't cave for other people's convenience. (They're only around my gender and transition but that's a good starting point, right?)
I started crying at the end of this video... thank you, Johnson💖
Since coming out, I get ads for men's black sheer shirts, gender neutral jewelery, and men's underwear that make your package look impressive, and I don't hate it.
OMG Yassssss, the comment about the change in targeted adds is the best!!! I get all makeup, motherhood, or if I'm watching specific trans content, then it will show me ketch beauty laser, or biktarvey for hiv treatment (like thanks youtube for assumeing i have or will get hiv because im mtf). the funny part is when I get like car stuff adds and I start thinking, have I been watching too much male content? More female, more female!
Learning to love your body as it is post medical transition can be such a struggle. Like you said, cis bodies are just as different. Some don’t grow facial hair, or not until they’re much older. Some have wide hips, round faces, higher voices. And that’s ok. Take the steps you want/need and watch your body grow into who you are. 🥰
Jackson, you've just earned yourself another follower.
This video is so gold! Especially the last two to three minutes gave me so much euphoria and hope for my present and future. Thank you so much sharing!
Jackson you are awesome, thank you for sharing your life, much appreciated, my teen is ready to take the step so I'm doing my homework.. Oh hi from New Zealand and we all love Taika 😊
What a truly great episode ♡♡♡
loved this video thank you - it's great to see the real side of transition 7 years on
This video is awesome, thanks so much for sharing. I had knee replacement and I can tell you why you had the hair growth on your scars. Along the scar there is extra concentration of bloodflow for the healing process, and you know how annoying and hairy legs are! So imagine now with a scar on your leg, and increased bloodflow, and now extra hair growing there too, lol. Same for your top surgery, and with your t boosting, it also increased the hair growth. You look AMAZING!!!
You are the best insufferably motivational person ever
I so needed this! Thank you so very much.
Hi man,I just randomly clicked on your video and I feel it resonates with me so much. I'm now 2 months shy from being 6 Y on T and I'm still having times of disphoria which mostly concerns my face. It took me about 3 years to not being misgendered. At that time I was frustrated, knowing that my changes will probably stop soon, like for so many guys on YT. But that is not true, I can see small but very noticable changes that are happening this year. Those subtle changes are "big" enough to change my whole face! And only now I am starting to feel comfortable enough to date or to let my friend makes photos with me and then share it on social media. I heard T changes may take from 5 to 10 years, so anyone still not happy with changes. Wait for it!
Thank you. I needed your messages about different bodies and I'm (mostly) cisgender.
Thank you for such a comforting, thoughtful video. I needed to see something like this today. You're right about how meeting other transmasc people irl can totally widen your perspective, vs what you see or read on the internet. I also feel called out by those Progressive commercials, but I disagree with them- the one I keep getting is the movie theater one, and it's just like, if becoming like my parents means being maybe overly courteous or cautious, or whatever, I'm ok with that. XD Being 'boring' can be really exciting, in a way? Because yeah. Maybe you never thought you'd get to that point.
I really like the quote you brought up, judging yourself by what seeds you plant, not what you harvest. If you're only doing things and waiting for the harvest, it's going to be frustrating. Be proud of the work you're doing now! I love it. I've been trying to do more of that lately, and it's satisfying. So thank you for giving me another idea for my mental toolbox. :)
I was so disconnected from myself I didn’t even know I was trans until my mid 30s. I didn’t know I had lived my entire life numb, I had nothing to compare it to. I only knew how to be what I hoped others expected of me, and I was so dissociated I didn’t know what joy felt like. I worked myself to the bone into a corporate manager position, finished a bachelors at the same time, got married, bought a house, did weekly yoga, daily meditations. But my mental health kept declining over years and I couldn’t figure out why.
Got divorced, left my job, sold the house, spent 2 years in a dark night of the soul and was lucky enough to have the resources for therapy. It was only when i learned to love myself that I started having dreams I was a man. I lived for 6 months socially transitioning which did help. Now I’m 1 month on T and I can see it’s what I’m meant to run on. It’s the first time in my life I’m grateful to be alive and can connect with others. Before all this I said gender was only a social construct. I think how our culture understands expression largely is, but the need to express is not.
It’s so wonderful and inspirational seeing your journey Jackson! During your book tour stop in Boston years ago, I told you that you inspired me to start my own transition and I’m happy to report that it’s honestly going pretty great. Even if E hasn’t given me the all the changes I wanted, I’m happier when I look in the mirror and I have FFS on the horizon
On the subject of targeted advertising, I am getting so many more ads for clothing that looks cute as hell, but I know if I buy it, it will just be cheap crap
Honestly, I love seeing transmen's results. It makes me happier and prouder to be one I'm a young trans guy I can only dream of getting transition early and just think of the possibilities . On how amazing the results are absolutely amazing honestly man you are handsome I would love to dream to be like you someday I was just feeling down about myself this week because of stuff, dysphoria and something my mom said related to "You weren't like this before where's my little girl.." but watching your video about this just helps me physically and mentally to always stay proud about it. You are a inspiration for me now to look forward even if its a slow path and stay strong.
At the start of the video, something struck me as odd, unusual. Only when you started talking about queer people embracing change, I realised it was because I was watching you, a man, reflect on your life - and doing so openly.
One rarely see men do it (for this and the following comment: SOME men, not none).
Because introspection and knowing yourself is considered - I don't know - feminine or weak:
A culture of "Real men don't feel", and if life hurts they soldier on or become alcoholics. Or at most confide to only their wife*, and only when at the breaking point.
While reflection and introspection is of course a sign of true strength and balance.
I notice again and again with transmen; that they reflect without fear and share about it as a natural thing.
It makes me sad for people socialised as men growing up. It makes their lives so much harder than they have to be.
Cis men yes, but I also notice it in several trans women I know:
The amount of reflection that they are often willing to open themselves for, when they embrace their gender, is often overwhelming to them (being transgender can be overwhelming for us all, but not having been given good tool s for reflection doesn't make it easier).
It's been seven years already?! The changes are amazing, especially the self awareness and calm confidence that has grown alongside your transness.
Regarding ads: I've been getting a ton of pregnancy ads combined with ivf ads. We truly live in a wild cyber dystopia.
The funniest thing about ads for me is I don't get any targeted ads anymore. Cause youtube is the only media I use that has them, and I have youtube premium so I don't typically get any. Therefore my "targeted ads" since graduating college are just sponsors for the people I watch. Aka a lot of Gfeul, Skillshare and VPNs and for quite a while a lot of Raid Shadow Legends XD though the last time I had a targeted ad it was for Dr. Squatch Soap so I'd say they had me pretty well pegged there. Targeted ads have lots of trouble figuring me out though cause my folks use my account for online pick up orders and I have a hyper fixation problem, and a "random curiosity" problem where I go down google rabbit holes. So one minute it was giving me playtex ads (finally got those to stop cause they made me uncomfortable) the next toys and video games, and other kids products/activities and then like Oldspice or Dr. Squatch and Manscaped etc. It literally couldn't learn as fast as my search and purchase history fishtailed before I went ad-free
I love hearing you be insufferably motivational. ❤️❤️
Wow I haven't been on this channel for years even though I was still subscribed! I remembered back in the day when you started testosterone and something in the news made me think of you so I came back! Right (3weeks 😂) after you published a video explaining the past 7 years! Great coincidence for me and great transformation for you, waow! Congratulations 🎊
Great video. I enjoyed the balance of subtopics within!
I also grow my own vegetables and herbs and the taste of it if you cook with it is just so good and thank you fot the analogy with the seed it helps a lot.💚
Thankfully I no longer get targetted ads after clearing the ads because they started showing me baby formula and beer and I need neither since I'm not a parent nor do i drink
I really relate to this. I'm a nonbinary person who got top surgery but no T. While I am perceived as a cis woman, at this point, I don't care. Like you, my dysphoria is as low as ever. I do see myself planning for the future & doing just boring adult life stuff. I actually feel normal with my chest flat, but have a feminine presentation. So yeah, my medical transition saved my life, & made myself more normal than ever.
I'm a cis straight aro lady and I am also turning into my dad now that I'm in my mid-30s. It's pretty great, not gonna lie. So glad to see you doing so great, hope you keep having the most chill, 'just-a-random-guy' time, and I look forward to more videos!
Thank you for your vids - they always help me stay positive and I love how you often look at transitioning situations in a different way than most others do and that's very empowering for me. Yes, I am in a dysphoria slump right now despite finally being on t and your video helped. And not just a little, but lots. Thank you for this!
I opened this thinking it was "7 years old on testosterone" and questioning the wisdom of that.
I'm going to use that William Arthur Ward quote for my motivational tonight. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and process.
"Insufferably motivational" Lol
I love your work.
Hey Jack. Thank you so much for this video. I am nonbinary and considering microdosing T now that I have a doctor who has a history of working with trans folks. I super appreciate hearing about the different effects it has on peoples bodies. Also, in regards to the question about targeted ads, mine actually tend to cause a lot of gender euphoria. Mainly because they can’t seem to decide how to peg me. Am I a young child? Someone in need of a good IPA, or a fancy razor? Or am I a mom of young kids? None of those are remotely true, but it makes me so happy that the ads can’t figure out my gender either.
Thank you Jack 💜
Thank you so much for this you’re content is amazing. Thank you.
I really like your wording; your descriptions: have you thought about writing?💕
Embracing change is a positive for me, too.
Hi Jackson. I just found you. I m a CIS MAN. The is the only vid of yours (so far) that I have seen. Many thoughts are going through my head. Yet six words stand out in my head: I am so proud of you.
The beginning gives John Green energy I like it 💙🏳⚧
Oh wow we have the same T day. it was 7 years this year for me too. I was hoping to meet you at HavenCon in Austin but sadly can't make it. Have a great time!
9:00 Honestly one of the biggest reasons that rly sealed the deal on HRT for me, as i wasnt sure if some aspects wud make me more dysphoric as an enby (turns out, nope), was the fact that it wud almost certainly mean i wudnt lose my hair.
I grew my hair long startin in freshman yr of high school and it not long after got to a couple ft length down to the middle of my back where it has stayed since. My whole exfams AMAB side of the line has hair loss in their thirties. I started HRT when i was 29.
I am glad i waited as long as i did tho bcuz it meant my beard hair had plenty of time to grow in, even despite my bein XXY and thus havin much less T than others.
It nvr filled in on my face beyond a moustache and a few cheek hairs. Which is fine by me as i both get a cool mane look to my beard but i also get to keep my prty and feminised face visible much easier.
I've had more gay man ads and "man spiritual meeting" ads :p I've been 1 year on T, my changes are going well but my confidance and the things I enjoy are all feeling uncertain. I am really in the emo teenage phase which is difficult but it is what it is. And this video gave me the hope again, thank you 🖤
You have a great voice! Thank you for being inspirational 🔥
Happy T Anniversary!
You look & sound fantastic! Advice about the hair loss thing.
Research indicates that diet, mostly increasing insulin resistance & its repercussions, is a huge contributive factor.
So it might be worth your while to investigate this. Keto & IF should not only help with the hair loss but your health in general.
All the best mate! 😁
I’m trans nonbinary (AFAB, they/them) and I’ve been feeling so dysphoric lately being 1.5 years on T. I actually kinda cried from relief a little bit. I’m feeling defeated about it and the changes being so slow. But I just gotta say that your video has helped me so so much
I’ve recently started getting targeted ads about hair loss and I’m already paranoid about it since I’m early on T. 🥺
I’m also getting more Carhart jackets and workout gear ads.
appreciate this update and hearing your reflections! & yes our flag means deathhh, the fan art has been so fun.
It's been amazing to watch your journey Jackson! You were essential in my own Gender exploration and provided a wonderful example of trans men existing and doing what they love! All the best!
thank you so much for this incredible video
Brilliant. Thank you
It you are transitioning there is a very good reason to focus on the change. Once you arrive at the destination, or take too long and you actually pause and reflect on what you have done, it can be catastrophic BUT it might also be inspirational and fulfilling. The best thing EVER.
Take your time, go through puberty and absolutely understand your sexuality and the enjoyment that brings. Be clear on what living as an adult really means. Your life could be like Jackson's or even Arthur Rockwell. Note they waited until mid-20's! Learning from that. Everyone is different but at 21 you can begin to think this through..
For some the post-surgery results of transition are VERY difficult given its hard to survey individuals after suicide: Henry Berg-Brousseau (24) Kayleigh Scott (25) Vanessa Vincenzo Barrett (33) and Ruby Taverner (22). Taverner is a tricky one given he first shot his transgender partner Ray Muscat (24) and then his brother before focusing on himself.
This isnt how it ends when you wait and are absolutely sure. If you socially transitioned as a child - your head could be MESSED UP badly. Just be careful. You need to grow up before you made life changing adult decisions.