Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/ & FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) HERE: whatrealmenwant.com/
I agree with many of Dr Gray's advice, but disagree that just because a man is attractive and you're attracted to him, that rules him out as a potential partner. I've only been intimate with a man if he was in a committed relationship with me and had earned the right to be my partner. I've had attractive and unattractive partners, and my attraction level to them held no bearing on how hard they worked on earning my love. In fact the MORE ATTRACTIVE partners I had treated me the best and worked the hardest to show me they love me. Even going on dates recently, the men I found more attractive put in the most effort and pursued the hardest. The unattractive men put in the least amount of effort, were the most entitled, bad at banter, were the stingiest and poor at communication. Came as a shock to me!
I think this might be true often, but not always, because you say, there's no chance a guy will be the right one if you're sexually attracted right away.. I mean this means that the guys that are best looking are always unavailable for more, but that's not true, that's putting everyone in one box.. i think what's really more important is to wait with having sex and than it will show if a guy is truly interested or not.. but i experienced myself what happens when being intimate to early as a woman.. it brought me a lot of pain and feelings for the wrong guys
He is correct because he is referring to who is good looking to her alone. You said all but Not all good looking men are attractive to every women because good looking is subjective.
Maybe physical attraction can be used as a signal for potential. Perhaps we can use the motivation given by the dopamine surge by initiating bonding with that attractive man by other things like getting to know him better, learning a new skill or language together or getting him to teach you something new or build Legos or learn a new videogame together, lots of things cooperative things like that before you get physical with him. Try the 90-day rule...
I think that us, women, focus and give too much energy to the man, instead of giving it to ourselves. I like Dr Gray very very much but i just don't care what kills attraction for him, i am more focus of my own attraction feelings beiing fullfiled. And i also strongly believe that things will work out great with the right one without me having to do one thing or another. Just by beiing ourselves.
This is far too general. I purposely married a man that I was not sexually attracted to in the beginning because I wanted to break my pattern. We started off as friends first and gradually, some kind of chemistry set-in. He was also not particularly good looking, but charismatic. Several years down the line, I went through the nastiest divorce imaginable with this man and I swore to myself that I will never get involved again but with a man whose full package I like.
Having been married for 20 years and wasn’t off the charts attracted to my husband … Dr Gray is wrong. You need that off the charts chemistry to have a healthy longe term marriage.
I don’t think that’s what he was saying at all. He was saying provide spaciousness in your relationship to allow him to build up his testosterone. So he is not full of female hormones instead of testosterone. Of course marry someone you want to f the rest of your life. No one else should you consider. 😊
@@danilaroche1156 yeah, to me that sounds like absolute hell. I'd rather sleep with a pet than turn back the covers to a man I don't lust for. I can't imagine. That is so GROSS. I would hate his guts, and be turned off by pretty much everything he does.
I wonder if John is referring to "Bullets Over Broadway" where Dianne Wiest's character would always say "Don't speak!" to her young admiring fan (very funny movie, BTW)
Women need chemistry to actually respect a man. He contradicts himself as he said in another video that in this day and age men and women are marrying for romantic connection not just for financial and traditional reasons. Also I'm highly skeptical of all these relationship gurus; they keep giving examples of how they fell in love and bla bla about their partner. Everyone has a different experience when they fall in love. There is some ancient wisdom about human nature, but, I don't think following their advice for your particular situation is helpful. Natural connection builds on natural chemistry and reciprocal interactions. A lot of this kind of advice seems generic. I specially find the part in his story funny where he became a Casanova after being a monk! I mean wtf?!? 😂
so he totally contradicted himself dont go for the man who you want sex with straightaway, yet when he met the two women he married his first thought was he was sexually aroused by them????
He’s playing feminine / masculine role theory. If you are female and traditionally in your feminine energy you aren’t acting from the sexualized point of origin. Whereas a male traditionally acting from a masculine energy is almost always in his sexual energy. He’s not accounting for 1. Our souls are not a specific sex, 2. Most women, traditionally, have not been allowed to stay and operate even closely in our feminine energy because social structures and lack of male responsibility/ accountability, 3. Many souls can have multiple lives in one sex therefore use to that feminine or masculine energy and then come again in a different sex and still be too use to operating from the other.
@@octobersky8694 he clearly states that when he first saw his two wife’s the first thing he felt was sexual attraction however then goes on to say that it’s a red flag to go for the person. Your sexually attracted to instantly
@@TheJosiejumperHe does contradict himself a lot. He said not to have sex for 6 days and then starts boasting about how he doesn't have to initiate sex at all and has so every day with his wife. I get the feeling hes just another dude trying to trick his wife into believing things he just made up to be more successful in the sack. I never listen to men, there all tricky dickys 🤣
Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/
& FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) HERE: whatrealmenwant.com/
I agree with many of Dr Gray's advice, but disagree that just because a man is attractive and you're attracted to him, that rules him out as a potential partner. I've only been intimate with a man if he was in a committed relationship with me and had earned the right to be my partner. I've had attractive and unattractive partners, and my attraction level to them held no bearing on how hard they worked on earning my love. In fact the MORE ATTRACTIVE partners I had treated me the best and worked the hardest to show me they love me. Even going on dates recently, the men I found more attractive put in the most effort and pursued the hardest. The unattractive men put in the least amount of effort, were the most entitled, bad at banter, were the stingiest and poor at communication. Came as a shock to me!
I think this might be true often, but not always, because you say, there's no chance a guy will be the right one if you're sexually attracted right away.. I mean this means that the guys that are best looking are always unavailable for more, but that's not true, that's putting everyone in one box.. i think what's really more important is to wait with having sex and than it will show if a guy is truly interested or not.. but i experienced myself what happens when being intimate to early as a woman.. it brought me a lot of pain and feelings for the wrong guys
Thanks so much for watching and for your comment too!
He is correct because he is referring to who is good looking to her alone. You said all but Not all good looking men are attractive to every women because good looking is subjective.
This is definitely true for me. I can’t be bothered unless someone full on courts me. ❤ thanks for normalizing it
Your presentations are always appreciated because I always learn something. I watch your videos many times to drill his information in my head.❤
Thank you Sandra! I appreciate your comment and kind words!
Maybe physical attraction can be used as a signal for potential. Perhaps we can use the motivation given by the dopamine surge by initiating bonding with that attractive man by other things like getting to know him better, learning a new skill or language together or getting him to teach you something new or build Legos or learn a new videogame together, lots of things cooperative things like that before you get physical with him. Try the 90-day rule...
If I don’t find a man attractive I can’t even go on a first date with him
🙋Great video. Thanks for sharing. I enjoy your content immensely with Dr Gray.☺
Thanks so much for watching and for your kind words too! Much appreciated!
I think that us, women, focus and give too much energy to the man, instead of giving it to ourselves. I like Dr Gray very very much but i just don't care what kills attraction for him, i am more focus of my own attraction feelings beiing fullfiled. And i also strongly believe that things will work out great with the right one without me having to do one thing or another. Just by beiing ourselves.
Well, look at him. Do you think he's attracted beautiful, sexy women? Ha!
This is far too general. I purposely married a man that I was not sexually attracted to in the beginning because I wanted to break my pattern. We started off as friends first and gradually, some kind of chemistry set-in. He was also not particularly good looking, but charismatic. Several years down the line, I went through the nastiest divorce imaginable with this man and I swore to myself that I will never get involved again but with a man whose full package I like.
Because he eventually figured out you despised him.
The idea that we should have no excitement for a potential partner completely conflicts with Helen Fisher’s research on love.
Having been married for 20 years and wasn’t off the charts attracted to my husband … Dr Gray is wrong. You need that off the charts chemistry to have a healthy longe term marriage.
Why did you marry him if you weren't physically attracted? Why?
I don’t think that’s what he was saying at all. He was saying provide spaciousness in your relationship to allow him to build up his testosterone. So he is not full of female hormones instead of testosterone. Of course marry someone you want to f the rest of your life. No one else should you consider. 😊
@@danilaroche1156 yeah, to me that sounds like absolute hell. I'd rather sleep with a pet than turn back the covers to a man I don't lust for. I can't imagine. That is so GROSS. I would hate his guts, and be turned off by pretty much everything he does.
Amen 💯
@Kam.26. He is wrong because of your will, decision and choice?
Thank you for clarifying what he said because it seems pretty extreme. I don’t understand his reasoning.
I wonder if John is referring to "Bullets Over Broadway" where Dianne Wiest's character would always say "Don't speak!" to her young admiring fan (very funny movie, BTW)
That could be. I appreciate your comment and thanks for watching too!
True with me, sexual attraction had to grow with me after getting to know them.
I have sexual attraction but no desire until there is a strong emotional and intellectual connection. The deeper that goes the more desire I have.
Women need chemistry to actually respect a man. He contradicts himself as he said in another video that in this day and age men and women are marrying for romantic connection not just for financial and traditional reasons.
Also I'm highly skeptical of all these relationship gurus; they keep giving examples of how they fell in love and bla bla about their partner. Everyone has a different experience when they fall in love. There is some ancient wisdom about human nature, but, I don't think
following their advice for your particular
situation is helpful. Natural connection builds on natural chemistry and reciprocal interactions. A lot of this kind of advice seems generic.
I specially find the part in his story funny where he became a Casanova after being a monk! I mean wtf?!?
😂
so he totally contradicted himself dont go for the man who you want sex with straightaway, yet when he met the two women he married his first thought was he was sexually aroused by them????
He’s playing feminine / masculine role theory. If you are female and traditionally in your feminine energy you aren’t acting from the sexualized point of origin. Whereas a male traditionally acting from a masculine energy is almost always in his sexual energy. He’s not accounting for 1. Our souls are not a specific sex, 2. Most women, traditionally, have not been allowed to stay and operate even closely in our feminine energy because social structures and lack of male responsibility/ accountability, 3. Many souls can have multiple lives in one sex therefore use to that feminine or masculine energy and then come again in a different sex and still be too use to operating from the other.
@@octobersky8694 no that’s not what I said at all
@@octobersky8694 he clearly states that when he first saw his two wife’s the first thing he felt was sexual attraction however then goes on to say that it’s a red flag to go for the person. Your sexually attracted to instantly
@@TheJosiejumperHe does contradict himself a lot. He said not to have sex for 6 days and then starts boasting about how he doesn't have to initiate sex at all and has so every day with his wife. I get the feeling hes just another dude trying to trick his wife into believing things he just made up to be more successful in the sack. I never listen to men, there all tricky dickys 🤣
I like the whistles-
Not that I’d do anything about it.
I take it as a compliment 🤷♀️
Is that weird?