@@vladmosiychuk Sup dude, wish you luck in overcoming that thing you probably not feeling very confident to do. I guess I only can tell you that most things are not as complicated and hard as you think they are, unless you are going to date a president or some shit idk. I felt the same way about getting a job being unexperienced or doing cold showers, jogging and whatever painful/hard excersises I do, but eventually I realised the anticipation is more painful than the "doing that thing" itself and my decision to me being afraid of such stuff was "just doing it" knowing I will/might fail, no matter how stupid, unplanned, irrational and unthought of that tip might sound. Not everything went smoothly, sometimes I fail and get frustrated, but I feel easier and happier after I've done the thing rather than before, not doing it while being afraid of it, and that's for the most things out there, I think. so I hope that helps somehow, good luck and know that you should use whatever helps you do that thing, even if its anger or whatever negative emotions that push you forward (wouldnt recommend that but I think you wont need them to control you as you realise that the very thing was easier to do that you thought it would be)
I actually read this poem on Pinterest today, and it was talking about how we shouldn’t force children to strive for extraordinary lives, but to teach them how to find joy in the ordinary. There was a line that specifically said, “Make the ordinary come alive for them, and the extraordinary will take care of itself.” I thought that was beautiful.
This reminds me of a Pinterest post I read about living life like a Studio Ghibli movie. Those movies have a way of making even the smallest most mundane things beautiful. And they're right. There is extraordinary beauty in the ordinary.
I wanted to be a filmmaker after I dropped the idea of being a space-engineer. For two-three years I leaned everything about it, went to a half year school and got jobs in the industry but I was still not happy. I had the same feeling as the guy in the film “Soul” where he asks the saxophonist after his biggest concert: “ What now?” and she amswers “Same time tomorrow “ That moment hit me. Because then I knew why I wasn’t happy. I had this biig idea that when I made it as a filmmaker then everything will be great. I had a period where I needed to figure out what to do and now I’m in uni studying about digital culture and how information is spread. I LOVE IT! Also because I get to talk with so many people and learn about stuff I really find interesting. The most important is that I learned that dreams are not written in stones and life can be lived in many ways.
thank you for sharing your story ... I recommend deleting the info you shared about your location in the comments ... since you know, it's the internet.
I have to agree. The minute I gave up on my dreams I was instantly happier. I figured out that doing absolutely nothing was better than any dream. Stress is non-existent now that I’ve given up on everything. There’s nothing better than nothing.
This is me now. Dream job: TH-cam. I’m living my best life but I’m not “present” to enjoy it. I feel like I trapped myself in this hamster wheel of content creation that I didn’t leave any time for myself like exercising, playing games, or just exploring hobbies in general. Even making meaningful connection with people or seeing old friends I feel like I don’t have time for. I always tell myself I would work on these things but they always end up getting sidelined because I worry if I slow down doing my “dream job,” the dream would be over. It’s a toxic habit I accidentally developed and I’m trying to work through it. I now prioritize and factor in self-care into my schedule to make sure I don’t neglect it. I’m doing better but still got miles to go!
You may consider creating tiny habits that won't take too much time to go in the new direction you want. You can exercise for 5minutes every morning. Play a game for 5mins when in the bathroom or have a walk after lunch to clear your head and still be able to deliver frequent and great quality content. DM if you would like to talk more about it :)
I came to the realization that I used my “dream job” as my sole source of happiness and value earlier this year. Once my internet “popularity” started to die down or level out, I turned to every empty external source looking for validation, to overcompensate. I realized I starved myself emotionally and spiritually. Back in April I went to a therapist, starting working with a personal trainer and began to reinvest in myself again. Work on my relationships, and work on myself and shortcomings. This video really hits the nail on the head for me. You did a great job articulating what I was battling for a few years. Keep up the great work.
Your videos were always fun and interesting. Truly revealing and humbling what you're sharing here, and it's great news you've taken the healthy route towards healing and bettering the life you got. Some people in your position, would have taken a more egotistical and desperate aproach when faced with the fact that the massive attention they got is flowing to the next thing. It's inspiring, thanks for sharing :)
Thank you for sharing and talking about the dark side. Social media can be a great tool, but also like a drug - you need a bigger dose overtime to keep the high (because brains get used to the stimulus), but once you cannot get it, you feel withdrawal effects. No matter if you are a content consumer (binging, problem to concentrate) or creator (burn-out). My solution was also to concentrate on the process and reprogram brain with "Cognitive behavioral therapy."
I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to chase your dream, as long as you enjoy the process. To me, it seems way harder to live without a 'goal' or dream job to work to..
Hustle culture has become so toxic to the point where I feel bad for enjoying my life cause they push the agenda that you gotta work all the time so much
@@toyesobayo924 Honestly same, i feel so guilty to only work 30 hrs a week while it's such a great work/personal life balance and I can actually do what I want outside work.
@@kawaiipoop3160 right like my birthday was last Sunday and I'm in college so I decided to go out partying with my friends, keep in mind I go to a huge party school with parties every weekend and I've only been to 1 party and that was during move-in week and I don't even drink or smoke anyway. Next morning I go on Tiktok and I see all these videos about people shaming others for partying during Halloweekend instead of grinding or working on something and I'm like wtf I've only been out twice now and I've been balancing work over play pretty well why do they gotta make me feel bad for enjoying this one weekend.
Yeah so Gary vee isn’t the person to listen to. The dream isn’t what life should be. Life should be the dream. There’s a worlds most longest study on Happiness that suggests people who have a community and have bonded genuine connections with people, they live longer, they’re more healthy physically and mentally and depression rates were so lowww. Those who “ do it by themselves” are lonely, depressed, unwell and they deep down regret working hard on their own. sure some days you won’t have time for people but just your grind and that’s okay but when you have the opportunity to chill and enjoy company, do it !
It's that but more than that, the core of your existence and your feelings won't change no matter what happens outside, UNTIL you directly work on them(thr problems) instead of thinking the magic pill of your dreams will cure everything and you'll live happily ever after.
I think he's saying straight up facts, getting too focused into a dream and leaving everything else will just make you feel the same even after you achieve your goal, that's why you should stop depending your happiness on that dream and enjoy the life as it is.
i kind of agree till " Stop depending happiness on that dream" but i dont agree with the enjoy life as it" cuz that can mean ignoring all the problems that you are facing or pretending to not have any will make you miserable as well
@@sage-jz5ee I think what he means is being grateful at the very present moment of your life, that you are still living, still be able to face and fix problems. This does not mean that you are settled down, do nothing at all. Long story short, enjoy the process of facing and fixing your problem. Sorry for my bad English that I couldn't fully express my thought.
Just wanted to vent this here as it seemed appropriate. I studied at university for four years with the dream of becoming a car journalist. I thought it was my dream, to be paid to talk and write about cars which is my true passion. After applying to hundreds of jobs and waiting over a year after graduating, I finally got offered my dream job as an editor at Europes biggest car website/magazine. And it really sucks. Just like pretty much every job! The dream does not match the reality, and I’ve learnt that a job doesn’t define who you are. I’ll probably keep this up, but it’s what you do OUTSIDE of work that really defines you. What hobbies to you have? Are you part of any teams? What makes you unique and interesting when you’re free amongst the world? I don’t have any hobbies, I thought being a car journalist was all I wanted to do with my life. Now I need to start building and focusing on the things and people that really make life fantastic.
It could be that the YOU that created the goal was the confused YOU, and thoughts, ideas that stem from this YOU are liable to go wrong, the deeper or real YOU would not have made those decisions, the real you knows what you are here for and suffers sooner or later hen you are running around on the wrong you mode and programming, the way to meet the real YOU is to meditate and calm down and slow down and stop! The wrong you will fight it and feel like its dying, but its not YOU, its dying, let it die. Then the veil will be gone and you'll realise the REAL YOU didnt need to be anybody, it knows who he or she is, if you still want to make goals make it from this YOU. Im talking more about myself here than you personally, what do you think?
Nah, many channels "tell it like it is". I do appreciate his honesty and he's totally right! I've heard this same message many times over though. It's accurate, it's awesome that he is talking about this stuff and I think he is awesome for it, but he's nof the only one saying it.
I guess he's telling those things because the era of this fancy concept of 'self-development' is over and everyone's had enough of it and understands it's BS
@@christix6648 Know what's funny? Different things work for different people. Just because ome way is right doesn't by default mame the other way wrong. Also, people have different points in their journeys. Casey Neistat is a great example. He went hardcore tk the point where it was causing stress for his family, but he eventually backed down. If he hadn't focus so hard during the years that he did, he wouldn't have the same flexibility to live life as he does now. Everyone's journeys are different. Just saying it's not so black & white as people are making it here.
I finally learned in my early 30s that happiness exists where you are, it's a matter of changing your perspective on things. Jobs will change, the economy will ebb and flow, people will die, friends will move away, relationships will sometimes fall apart for things out of your control. Emotional independence is so crucial. I've seen so many people (myself included) that fall into the trap you speak of, that they can't really be happy or get life rolling until they find the perfect person, land that dream job, buy that new car... It never stops, so it's crucial to just learn to change the things you have control over and stop wasting time obsessing over the things you don't. Finally having that epiphany was incredibly liberating. Life's not perfect, but that's the point. Learn to accept life where you are, not how you want it to be, because us humans are incredibly good at pushing goalposts.
I'm not playing this stupid game because I already know where you're trying to go with this as if someone aggressively oppressing you is something you just accept and take lying down. Stop being daft and disingenuous with trying to twist the underlying point I was trying to make. As far as being obese, you absolutely can eat less and try working out. Sorry if that triggers you but it's the truth. You can't put on calories you don't intake, and you can't retain calories you burn up via exercise. But keep playing the victim game though I get the sense you're one of those people that just loves being contrarian for the sake of being contrarian. It really is insufferable. Please stop for the sake of the people you interact with. It's exhausting for them and isn't healthy for yourself.
Person I was responding to deleted their comment but for those confused, they basically asked "what do you say to sex traffic slaves, or people that are obese?". They worded it in a way you usually get from people that have a victim and accountability problem. Honestly, I genuinely hope that person can acknowledge their problem and fix it. I don't like being rude or angry, but some sometimes you can't mince words with those kinds of people. Anyways, no hate here. I want everyone to find happiness and conquer their demons.
I love how many successful TH-camrs who comment here can relate to this. For me: I realized my brain is not made to be happy, it‘s made to survive. So I throw enough work at it that it has no time for brooding.
This man is literally explaining why it's the journey not the destination. Yes, have goals and dreams, but never give up present day HEALTHY happiness for such things. (not fake happiness like drugs, social media addiction, porn, shopping, etc). I love this channel.
Ha that is why I am mentally retired i guess. I guess even before living the dream, i knew it is all chasing after the wind. Life in itself doesnt have much meaning- a mirage, and the inconsiderate self-focused people in this era make it more miserable, so it is a constant struggle and hopes in something that is unreliable. Focusing on God helps and just being a kind helpful human and when possible following intellectual pursuits and knowledge (when i can carve time without having to fight with my fears of speaking up).
There is an old Russian joke: - What's your biggest dream? - To stop drinking. - Why won't you stop drinking then? - What's worth a life without dreams?
I’ve definitely seen times in my life that I was so blinded by hopes and dreams that I neglected certain aspects of my life and overlooked certain risks and ultimately paid a pretty big price. I’ll always be a dreamer at heart, especially around my passions and career, but this perspective definitely resonated and is something I want to leverage to stay balanced. Thanks for the consistently thought provoking content!
The balance of this is something I have been struggling with for so long, and still do from time to time. Ever since I was a teen and started playing guitar I always fantasized about being in a famous band and making my mark on the music world. Years went by and I started to realize that this dream was not something easy to do. Don't get me wrong, I have been working so hard for it and putting many hours into it. I just thought that would be enough. I started beating myself up over the fact that I had not made it. I did this when I was 21, when I was 24, when I was 26 and right now I'm struggling again with this feeling of "not having made it". I have made progress, but it's so difficult to put this image of a successful life which I have had since my early teenage years aside. I do realize now that it is good to take a step back from time to time and see where you are, appreciate it, be happy with the here and now. Even though I am more able to do this than let's say 5 years ago I still struggle with the feeling of not having my dream life from time to time. Just wanted to put this feeling into words, since it helps dealing with it all. I wasn't expecting to find your video, but it has been very comforting hearing this through a stranger on the internet.
I often wonder what it would be like if my dream didn't rely so heavily on external validation and beating the competition. What if I felt that fulfillment through crocheting rather than singing on a stage? How easy it would be to feel alive
I kind of had this “come to Jesus” moment about this when I realized my dreams weren’t actually *my* dreams - they are what my family wanted for me and what I thought I wanted. Then I realized so much in life is so much more important to me - family, love, happiness in the now. I still have a dream - different now - and I’m going to work on that, but it doesn’t have to happen today or tomorrow for me to be happy. I can be happy now just enjoying the simple things while working toward my goals. This video filled in a lot of blanks for me!
The overall idea of "follow your dream" caused me so much anxiety, i dont have dreams so i thought it was essential for everyone to have at least one and work hard to achieve it
Same man couldn’t agree more I feel like you have to have something your working towards otherwise what are you working towards ? I feel like everyone has something that they really want to accomplish in life but most just want to be happy I feel everyone has there own definition of happiness for some it’s achieving what they want most whatever that may be for there own status or fulfilment to say they achieved something great .
I think you're just honest with yourself. There are other, more foundational needs to meet and fulfill before self-actualizing. Self-actualizing doesn't have to be some grandiose aspiration to achieve on a collective-scale. It could simply be to lead a happy, healthy life, have a family, and at the end, have no regrets. Your dream is your own. If you don't have one now, you will, and that's okay. It is good to have some kind of direction in life though. Aimless wandering isn't healthy either (not saying you suggested that). Just my thoughts.
I loved this! People get so stuck on the outcomes of things. ‘When I have this thing or do that thing I will be happy’. When I’m reality you won’t. I’m currently on my journey to my dream job but I’m not too focused on the outcome but I’m actually really enjoying the journey to achieving this dream job. I’m honestly really happy now even though I haven’t achieved what I have wanted yet and that’s ok. Because I know things take time. I also realised that I am currently living the dreams that my younger self had which has made me so happy. Humans have been given the ability to think in the future and the past which is a blessing but also a curse and we tend to be so caught up in the past or futures and are not even present right now. That’s what I’m trying to work on, to enjoy the present now and being happy with now. Not with my future that I have made up in my head. :)
I think the deeper message here is whether or not you're focusing on your work, or focusing on having "made it". Studies do show that the happiest people are those who spend the most amount of time in flow state. This is easiest to do when doing something you love, and so if you make your passion your job, you'll be able to spend the most amount of time in flow state possible. However, what is arguably far more important, is your perspective during this process. If you're always waiting until you hit a certain goal to be happy, then you might find yourself waiting, forever.
That's the summary.. you got it 💥💯. OP pin this comment📌. That's completely true.. the flow state is when mind is focused on one thing and time flows so fast that you lose track of time.. 1 hr feels like 10 mins.. In the opposite, if you don't like the things or it's too difficult for your current abilities/Skill level, 10 mins of work feels like 1 hr.. time drags.. so Doing activities in you flow state keeps your mind off of worries and happy..
The nice thing about this is once you actually start doing what you need to do and make progress towards your dream or goals, you will experience positive emotion.
What if you are in your 30s, single, workin for a min wage and 0 social life cause all friends works a lot too? Thats where having a dream can keep you alive and optimist
@@bastbast6464 search also other friend! and partner> This should be it. Aply for other jobs, if something shows up go for it. If not, continue to be happy. Like watching great discussions on youtube.
I disagree with this video, of course dreams are not the most important thing. This guy is basically saying that I would spend my entire life in my dreams, forgetting about my family, spiritual bla bla blah. And he is also spoiling on what it feels like after you reach your dreams. Of course people have different perspective of things. Some people are happier reaching their dreams, and some are not. If you reach your dreams and it’s not enough, then find more, find what really makes you happy. Of course don’t forget to spend time with your family, yourself, and spiritual health. If you didn’t read my comment, then don’t even dare to try replying to me.
Assuming there is a goal to life. Maybe life just is. And you can actually make it, not externally, but internally mean whatever you want it to mean. Shit happens, but you create the narrative.
We all have different opinions for me the purpose of life is to create a life I love. Then when I am able to do what I love life will be better for me. I'm not saying I need my dreams to be happy but man is life 30x better when you're doing what you love every single day.
Something I could do immediately: Put more work into my apartment. I rescued a coffee table that I need to refinish. I live very minimally even though I have a very good income. While I still don't need or want a lot of space, putting some direct effort into the space I have has been super healthy for my mental wellbeing. You don't always need to be in survivor mode. I think we're often taught to grind our way to our dreams, but that can result in working harder, not smarter. It took me until my mid thirties to realize that the trick is to live intentionally, but from a wholistic perspective. Achieving most things requires time and consistency, but that investment has to be directed correctly. Balancing your life properly frees up your mental baggage, allowing you to do exactly that.
Thank you for this video. Felt everything you said. I am indeed postponing my happiness, denying myself so many things because I'm not there yet. Made me cry, thank you.
Loved this video. I heard someone said : Walk besides your dreams. Not for them. There’s so much more things that are more important than reaching that goal. It’s important to have goals too but let’s not just live for them. Inner peace is the most important thing to reach.
A friend of mine is currently in a miserable and depressive state. She had a rough teenhood and now she is lost and also stuck in a bad relationship, she complains that she doesn't know what she wants to do in the future. A few days ago I told her what you mentioned in this video right now, that one should fix him/herself, regardless of the time it will take, before considering pursuing something. And your video really made me happy because what you have said is what I told her a few days ago, but you brought up more details. Thanks a lot for your video, I really want to help and support her and your videos really help me to put my philosophical ideas together.
You have expressed the exact thing I discovered recently. Throughout my childhood and teenage years I've always been fat and really asocial. Since a few years I've started working on losing some weight, however I've been focused on it and basically hating myself because I was overweight and very few friends, never had a relationship etc. Like I thought that I had to change before being worthy of other people. I'm still not there yet, I'm trying to improve the relation with myself but I have realized that I have missed on so many occasions and just prevented myself from being happy because I still had work to do. Especially on the internet I think there is this "toxic positivity" or "toxic improvement" that is easy to fall into and you just were able to words on my thoughts and feelings so thank you.
I have watched a ton of selfhelp videos and read even more selfhelp books, and only a few people break down the, what I think, essential values as well as you do. And the thing with the "Follow your dreams" really opened my eyes. Thank you so much for that!
I feel you! You're way ahead of me, but I think as TH-camrs we're all on this hamster wheel of maintenance and improvement and I'm realising that living life to the fullest often just requires slowing down. There's an infinite number of superior imagined alternatives for my future, but my desire for improvement only highlights my dissatisfaction for the present - a cycle of diminishing returns that never stops unless I choose to let it. Great video, Joey.
It's incredibly refreshing to hear a TH-camr say that they're the exact same person as they were before they 'made it'. You're not egotistical, you just put out quality content. Good on you.
Thank you so much! Your video caught my eyes once I searched for the term "people living my dreams" and it really helped me realize things about myself and it's really gonna change the way I think. Thank you so much for this great video!
I’ve been accomplishing a few different things that play a big role in achieving my life goal lately. I was working very hard, spending a lot of time working on it, and sometimes even denied my friends’ invite to a hangout. Eventually, the day came, I succeeded in my plans and I am currently moving towards my goals at a great pace. But when I look back I realize I wasn’t enjoying life and I’m not enjoying it right now either. To me everything seems like an obligation, a purposeful task that has to be done and it constantly reminds me to stay on track no matter what happens. It’s only recently that I’ve finally understood how toxic those feeling and thoughts are and finding this video really assured me that I need to change. This video talks about a rare topic and rare aspect of depressive thoughts, which is why I’m very thankful that you made it. I hope you read this and continue making great videos 👍🏻
This here is why I fell back on making beats… I didn’t like the process. I loved creating. I loved putting thought and flow to instrument… or DAW for my producer heads…. But I always put so much thought into what it would be like to put these beats out and sell them that I stopped having fun… I loved a fantasy that I wasn’t ready for mentally or emotionally. I’m in the gym now and it feels amazing to pick things up and put them down and I don’t have to think…. Sorry for the long post but I’m new to your vids and this one resinated with me
@@TheRav3n The music industry and a lot of other industries involving art on pretty much every level seem to be rampant with a corrupted intention of using talent and creativity to gain popularity and esteem. Creating with the intention of self-exploration and discovery is pure I think. If you want to release your art afterwards just to share your creation with others, there is nothing wrong with that either. I think the creations that come out of that energy end up more genuine and real. It's something you can be wholeheartedly proud of even if it doesn't get all the attention of the world. Who cares about the thoughts of strangers you know nothing of compared to what your children might think of your art one day, and by extension, you? Plenty of world-famous artists have sacrificed meaningful relationships for the pursuit of esteem granted by basically numbers. That doesn't bode well for your emotional well-being I think. Use creativity to sort yourself out through art if you decide to, and bring a little piece of heaven to this world. That's just my opinion though. I'm sure there are many other factors involved. I'm speaking a more general-sense.
@@thebuttersqiud8912 I appreciate this response. About 2 years ago though, I wasn’t in that place to accept it as something I was just having fun with… I got into fitness to find something that sticks, then I actually fell in love with the process… the discipline of fitness will help me accept that making music is beautiful even if like you said, you don’t get notoriety for it
“Yes, have hopes and dreams for the future, otherwise you are directionless. But do not forget to keep one foot grounded in the present moment.” Solid words.
When I was younger I asked my grandfather how to have a happy life and he told me that I just needed to do what I truly wanted to do at that time. He told me to focus on doing things that I enjoy everyday. This advice has helped me to learn what it is to be happy.
Am I the only person that cried while watching this? This made me come to terms with my depression. Now I'm critically evaluating all my life choices in regards to the type of career I'd like to pursue. Right now I'm not entirely sure of what I'd like to do and I need to accept the fact that that's ok. What's not ok is doing nothing while trying to figure it out. Thank for making this video. It was an eye opener❤.
I don't know if it helps at all, but the majority of people don't really like their job in any event. My husband doesn't like his job a lot of the time, but he's reframed it as something he does to buy the time and provide the resources to do the things he really wants to do. For him, that passion has always been music. For me, it's running and spending time in nature (I took up birdwatching during the pandemic and now I'm a real nerd about duck species). And the fact is that most people change not just jobs but careers at least once in their life. It doesn't have to be set in stone and it shouldn't define who you are. Best of luck to you. ❤️
"You're delegating responsibility to some hypothetical, you're letting go of the reins of your life and the responsibility of forging your own happiness in life as it is, you're relinquishing control...you can be hamster wheeling yourself like that right into your grave" Thank you!!!
I am totally with you. "Follow your dreams to become happy" only puts focus on what is missing. If you make your happiness depending on what you NOT have, you can't really see what you already got and what might be able to make you happy. You might not work in your dream job but maybe you've got awesome friends and a hobby that fullfills you. You might not live in your dream house but maybe you got the best dog ever and travel a lot. Find happiness in what you have to generate the energy you need to achieve what might add to that.
I agree on that statement but also I feel like even when achieving the dream you may not feel happy as most that are fulfilled and achieved there dream aren’t that happy as they focused all there time in achieving a dream and working towards it that they didn’t carry there friends etcc with them to enjoy it hence why most people may feel alone and could look back at the times when chasing dream could’ve be on the backseat for a while and enjoy family friends a bit more
I disagree with this video, of course dreams are not the most important thing. This guy is basically saying that I would spend my entire life in my dreams, forgetting about my family, spiritual bla bla blah. And he is also spoiling on what it feels like after you reach your dreams. Of course people have different perspective of things. Some people are happier reaching their dreams, and some are not. If you reach your dreams and it’s not enough, then find more, find what really makes you happy. Of course don’t forget to spend time with your family, yourself, and spiritual health. If you didn’t read my comment, then don’t even dare to try replying to me.
Man this video hit real hard. I chased a “dream job” for a decade only for me to realize that that “dream” job is not everything in life. In the process of achieving my goal I gave up so much time away from my family. I missed time that I will never get back. I realized I was about to trade more time away from my family for a “bigger” house, etc. My mistake was I built my life the wrong way with dreams as the foundation instead of my loved ones. That is true that if you feel unhappy now achieving your dreams won’t automatically switch your unhappiness to happiness more than likely there is something else that is stopping you from being happy. Pursuing a meaningful life in the bosom of our loved is a far important dream to achieve than the so called dream. Life is short after all.
I stil don't know what to think about this guy. He sounds smart and all but i haven't really heard anything that would be a really good advice. Besides he Saíd that He Is Always stoned So that doesn't really help him.
The issue I have with being happy with who you are is: How do I prevent myself from becoming narcissistic? What if I keep telling myself I'm really great without reality matching up to the things I keep telling myself?
Being narcissistic is reserved for those who are incapable of being open-minded, people who refuse to believe they have flaws and never work on their weaknesses. You ARE really great!! You're strong and capable of anything. Believe in yourself. Sometimes you'll mess up, but recognize that you do have things you must work on and that way you won't become narcissistic. But usually people who are narcissistic have never worried that they will become narcissistic. You're on the other end of the spectrum, so don't worry and recognize that it's just an excuse. Give yourself the most love you can, that's my advice. Be open-minded, have a foot grounded in reality and be kind to yourself.
I definitely needed this video a year ago! Started living in the presence recently and so much changed. Just as you said life is a journey. Loved this! Thank you
One thing that you can do straight away that will reap immediate benefits is fixing your sleep schedule. Learning the importance of sleep as a part of my degree (one more semester to a bachelor's in psychology, woohoo) I'm amazed at how much of our lives it influences. So much of our capacity to function is impaired by sleep deprivation, because sleep is necessary for the whole brain. When someone is suffering from a mood disorder the first course of action is to fix the patient's sleep schedule. Even if you think you can operate just fine while sleep deprived, studies say that you really can't. In fact, a sleep deprived brain is unable to accurately tell how sleep deprived it actually is, so if you haven't really slept, but you think you're OK- you're not. Fix your sleep schedule.
“Everyone wants you to forget you’re gonna die. Cause if they convince you you’re not gonna die you waste your time doing what they want you to do”, “And one day I’m gonna die. But before then I’m gonna live live live the way I want to live, and I hope you do too.” This quote from Mike Posner’s live performance of Pill In Ibiza felt pretty relevant to me. Never forget that every day is a gift and that it could be your last. If you waste your time always concerned about the destination, you’ll reach it and realize you missed out on the entire journey. It’s something I think we all have to remind ourselves of at some point or another.
I used to be obsessed with this girl when i was 18. Madly in love with her. Planned on living my life with her. We had a lot of bumps but after 5 years i finally managed to be with her . But what happened was i realized that i was the same, for years i would think to myself that "if i can have her, everything would be fine and dandy in my life". Things were good for a few days, after that i reverted back to being malcontent. The goals we set in life are like temporary fixes and distractions from whats aching us deep down
Following my dreams and 'purpose' set me back years. I ended up ditching them and created a vision that wasn't a 'dream' but a high status job I could realistically achieve with hard work and determination that I knew wouldn't suck. I know work that job and love it.
You shouldn’t think of what will happen if you reach your dreams, it’s demotivating, specially if that didn’t happen. And dreams aren’t you’re entire purpose, unlike this man in the video is saying. Of course you’re not gonna spend every single second on your dream, that you forget about God and your family.
6:35 Taking care of your mental well-being IS taking care of your body. Let's say you're super depressed and feeling down you will probably start to over-eat or under-eat.
Me at 100 subscribers "I just want 1000 maaannn, that would be soooo coool maaaann, making money from urr passionnn". 1000 Subscribers, same deal, just want 10k now 10k, same deal, just want 100k now 100k, now want 1M On my way to 1 Million right now, I expect it to take 3-5 years. The difference is I'm no longer diluding myself into thinking "I'll be happy when" because I won't. It's in our nature to never be satisfied, that's why rich people want to be richer and your subscriber count is always weaksauce in your mind. Solid video Joey. I like the casual talking to the camera style video.
Thank you so much! People really need to speak about this more. Everybody just brags so much about living a dream that it genuinely feels like you're a piece of waste if you don't.
I'm only a junior in high school. The past few weeks were HELL for me and only recently did my girlfriend and dad break me out of it. I held myself at obnoxiously high expectations for the school year and overworked myself assuming I'd end up being an incredibly new and improved student. I followed pomodoro streams and nearly idolized those streamers that studied for 10 hours a day. It was all to "follow my dreams" but I never even gave myself time to enjoy myself, maybe play a game, or get the hell away from my desk for once and go out with my friends. I skipped school twice because I kept feeling unprepared for tests no matter how many hours I put into studying. I'd study until 2 AM, wake up at 5 AM, and just decide to not go to school. I was in a dark and toxic place and I didn't realize that I was dumping my youth away assuming that the price I was paying was worth it for this glamorous dream job I'd have in the future where I could finally enjoy myself. Because as they all say, "Hard work pays off." MASSIVE thanks to my girlfriend and dad, as they pulled me out of it before I nearly reached my breaking point. I stopped studying relentlessly, hell I studied for like 45 minutes the night before an English test and surprise, surprise... it was not as bad as I anticipated. I stopped following pomodoro streamers and let myself manage my own study habits and time instead of letting a streamer do it for me. I'd indulge in a well-needed break of videogames, time with my girlfriend or friends and family. I no longer look only towards the future and overwork myself out of dread. I find happiness in my day to day life and appreciate that every time I wake up, I get to enjoy another day in my life.
Thanks for this video. I am writing for pure therapy... if I started ACTUALLY being grateful for what I have and being kind to others and praying more often, it would change everything. I have been feeling incredibly obsessed with getting my 'dream job' at the moment. I have it in my mind that once I am a diplomat somewhere in the world, I will have 'made it'. I will be talking to interesting people, and living what I consider 'a dream life'. I know I would still have to do my laundry, do the grocery shopping, deal with broken relationships and world tragedies but for some reason, I irrationally believe that once I am a 'diplomat', that all my problems will go away and I will have peace in the knowledge that I reached my potential, that I am where I always dreamed of being. That being said, I certainly never want to be an ambassador - I don't want the pressure of making speeches and small talk with everyone - I would hate that. It's more that I want to have a job in an embassy where I can meet interesting people. Take away the interesting people and the embassy and I don't want to be a diplomat anymore. I also like the idea of being paid to learn languages and travelling the world (which yes I could do anyway but if I am paid to do these things it is even better). The fact that I don't know if this dream will ever be possible is driving me insane and taking my joy and peace away all the time. I feel restless and desperate for this dream to be realised. I don't think anyone will read this but if you have, I would be interested to hear your perspective. Is this normal? Have you felt similar before? Am I delusional?
I once had a mindset like you, you have to stop thinking so , otherwise it will led you to depression and destroy your life. I mean it. I was there too. Your too much in the future, come back to present.
This is one of the realest self improvement channels out here. The things talked about here are so much more raw and honest. This one hits harder too. I think it’s something in the way that it’s not edited… really changes the overall tone. Great video as always! Definitely one of your best yet.
Needed this. For the past week or so I randomly got this nes dream. A dream where I'm going to work once I reach the age of 16, not spend my money, go to college, and somehow end up living in a beautiful apartment in New York. This is my dream. And I'm honestly so close to following it. I'm only fourteen years old, but I am tired of living in this place. But I'm realizing that maybe this dream of mine won't go to plan, and once I reach that point of no return, I won't feel that fulfillment that I've always wanted. It's a terrifying thought. I'm anxious. I'm struggling. I'm feeling so hopeless. But this dream of mine is the only thing keeping me going. I'm living in hope that maybe someday I'll be happy. This is my mindset right now. Maybe I have to start stepping up and helping the issues in my life. Maybe I have to think more deeply about it (Trust me, I am). Maybe I have to start living my life the way I want my future to be. That might not be living in New York or having an amazing job, but what if it's the happiness I want in the future? What if I start trying to feel content and happy with where I am now? Will it change the way I look at the future? Will it help? Probably. Thank you for this video.
Going through this right now. In a PhD program, in a prestigious university, with a career lined up ahead of me, but also with expectations layered on by my friends, family, the university, society etc. that has got me thinking way too much about the future and what my life work would be. It's becoming more and more like my existence is defined through my work, that I'm supposed to be committed to solving problems that have puzzled people for years and that my life from now on will be dedicated to solving those problems, and it's starting to erode how I perceive myself and my mental health is beginning to spiral. I'm only just starting out, yet it feels like everyone (myself included) is already defining me by my work. I've spoken with a lot of people inside and outside of the research field, and the opinions that I get are quite different. The PhD world seems to feel that "your work is you" is a fine description, I mean they're scientists after all and most of them are chasing their dreams in such a way. However, pretty much everyone else has told me to not put my work over myself. I'm at a loss at this point, but I can tell the PhD perspective has become mentally damaging in recent weeks. I'm planning on taking more time for myself, just having time where I can turn my brain off and not concentrate on work. Unfortunately, I can't shake the feeling that it may mean I have to let those final 2-3 points slide on the next assignment or get critiqued more harshly at the next lab meeting, but I just need to stop making that calculation altogether.
The sad part about all of this is that we spend so much time trying to *make* a living that we miss out on everything else in the process. I mean, we go to school for 13 years and 4-7 years for university all so we can get a job that is above mediocrity. Do we truly enjoy those years? Or are those years just a way of rushing through just so that the *later* years could be better? What if the average human life expectancy was even shorter than what people claim it is now? Would we have all that time to chase after our ambitions to improve the current state that we think isn't that great? Life isn't necessarily about making a single chapter the best. It's about making every single chapter worthwhile to read.
I've been feeling that second paragraph hard. I'm a freshman studying engineering, and I like math and especially physics, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm pushing myself hard through four hard years for a safety cushion.
@@naughti_penguin2340 Shoot... I feel you. I sometimes like to ask myself what I would do if I had... "time". So many of the things I had to quit doing in order to leave room for the more important stuff (that is, especially right now, school). I always wonder if it's possible, though. I want to do as much as I can in this day and age, but this thing we call "time" seems to prevent it. I know I can't just leave this until later on, because I know that I will "regret it". Hits hard...
@@naughti_penguin2340 You're in a great position, at university studying engineering, 99% of the world will envy your position so stop complaining. I've already finished university and studying isn't really that hard. I studied Finance and I have a real passion for it, I would look forward to every class and I didn't study for some end goal or extrinsic reward, I studied Finance because I like it. In fact during my time at university I also took coding bootcamps along with my course simply for the joy of learning and using coding to enhance my Finance research capabilities. If you don't feel this way about engineering then I think you're studying the wrong subject. Being in full-time education is a privalige, education is self improvement, and as a student you can work full-time on self improvement. It's a case of first world problems if you are complaining
On the recieving end here- burnt my self-esteem seeming unworthy and unimportant and the lowest priority. I just wish that realization dawns on him atleast someday but i wish him no pain- he is gone pursuing a life he wants to live.
I know I would be a lot happier from day to day if I stopped putting so much pressure on myself to constantly be busy and get things done all of the time. Juggling a job, a relationship, enough exercise and the hobbies I love doing can feel so overwhelming and causes me a lot of secondary frustration which I often take out on myself. I miss the days where I could just float through each day, maybe focusing on 3 main things and just enjoying the rest of my time. Great video once again!
I feel like I'm trapped in a cycle of misery. I search every day for answers. I think its my job, i think its where i live. But when you say that it's deeper, I feel that. I know it's something i need to just listen to and figure out instead of drowning it out. I know this but yet I dont do it. Rather I just sit, play games, and hate things and people in my life feel that. I have so much to work on. Thank you for your videos, they're really what has opened my eyes to this cycle I've created for myself.
The part of about bringing your "Resentful" self over to your new dream job is so poignant, we often forget that there is no external validation that can make us feel at home in our own life. Great message...thank you.
I’m a professional magician. This video is so on point. Dream jobs, when pursued with huge intention, neglect other areas of your life. I had to take 2 years off to get my health and life in order because money and gigs were all I could focus on before. That said, I have no regrets about my career choice. I just wish I wasn’t so tunnel visioned in my 20’s.
It may have been worse if you didn't follow your dream and was left wondering "what if?". That may have been more painful. To age with regret and wonder what could have been. At least you're following your passion, living, and hustling. There is no fire in playing it safe from the maternity ward to the crematorium. If your path is truly your dream, you should be enjoying the journey regardless of the end goal. I don't know about you, but my biggest fear is becoming old and filled with regret - to me, that sounds horrifying. And ironically, this video creator who is preaching that people don't follow their dreams followed his dream. This video is simply him taking a contrarian stance for easy clicks, and the people who already gave up on their dreams LOVE IT because it validates their choices. The majority of people give up and lead unremarkable lives with their victory being a comfortable retirement.
I used to love doing magic as a kid and also playing music. My problem was being painfully shy. It took a lot of bad things to humble me and make me better with that. Now I feel like I could address an entire room of people or even an auditorium of people without feeling that shy awkward lame weird feeling I did for so long.
I love how real this video is Joey! It hits hard! I've been learning this lesson for the past year or so now, but I need to keep working on it. It's so easy to get wrapped up in goals that I forget to enjoy anything, and can easily feel like I'm not good enough to find joy yet anyway. I find that I put off so many things in life that really enrich and fulfill me because of this constant improvement mindset. I've been finding that while goals are needed, life is about balance and moderation in just about everything, and that I'll never be "good enough" because there is no such thing, so I need to just embrace life and run with it. This is a very needed video, especially in the personal development space!
i cried in laughter when he said imagine that you're anxious, resentful and depressed and i realized im all those things now for going through my medschool final exams 😂
Finally someone is taking about it. I've always wanted someone to agree with me on this topic. From an experience, that's totally right. Thank you so much for making this video.
I like this perspective… but I would like to relate the “waiting to date until I’m good enough”, to fitness.. because many of us can relate to this. Imagine being out of shape and overweight, but just saying to yourself “I’m good enough, I might as well just date”. By not being in shape, you’re most likely to attract someone with a similar shape into your life. That’s just a reality. Its not common to see 2 people together where one is in great shape, and the other isn’t. Point being, I think it is ok to work on yourself to build your career goals, finance goals, social goals before having the need to date. Because in a way, you’re settling
That's exactly my mentality. A *few* things I want in a partner is someone who's in shape, eats relativley healthy, and has a firm understanding of who they are. I only mark 1 of those 3 things. Why should I demand someone of a certain standard why I haven't even reached it.
I'm glad he spoke on this, I had this belief of waiting until I reached "my final form" before dating. I dont believe it was a good idea. Your love life is a part of your life. You wouldn't wait for anything else in life in that manner. I understand bringing something more to the table, especially if that "more" is what you're seeking in someone else. However I think if you do wait until you "have it all together," when you come back to the dating scene you'll feel like you deserve women and it will show. My thinking now is just to make sure I'm taking care of my business. When I'm sure that I'm being responsible about my life and moving forward, I feel like that's a healthy standard to maintain.
I love this! I'm a stay at home homeschooling mom. This certainly wasn't my ~dream.~ It can be a very lonely life, so I've HAD to become at peace with myself so that I didn't go insane lol. And I'm super happy with who I've become and what I've overcome. I have loads more work to do and room to grow, but I am growing and that's a beautiful thing.
What you’re talking about is really similar to what a therapist of mine has been telling me to look into lately- it’s something along the lines of “radical acceptance and commitment”. Good stuff
Yes, this is so true. Even after you finally reached your “dream”, there’s this empty and fleeting feeling of losing life’s purposes that I felt, “what will you do after this”, “Cool! Now what next?” . “We are living in a culture entirely hypnotized by the illusion of time, in which the so-called present moment is felt as nothing but an infinitesimal hairline between an all-powerfully causative past and an absorbingly important future. We have no present.” Alan Watts
*3 Quotes to Live By:* 🔥 *1) "Don't compare yourself to someone else, compare yourself to your yesterday's self."* 🔥 *2) “You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending”* 🔥 *3) "Once you decide your lifes purpose, you will only have to pack one thing: "Your Heart."*
This is an important message. I recently burnt out trying to chase my dreams. I’m still going to keep my dreams as a possibility, but it no longer is going to be the end all be all. Your life should be fully balanced, not all-in on one thing. For some people, all-in may be a thing, but not everyone is built for that lifestyle.
![[TH] 2024 PMGC League | Survival Stage วันที่ 1 | PUBG MOBILE Global Championship](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/FVFT-PFwU80/mqdefault.jpg)
What is one thing in your life that is immediately fixable, that would improve your overall sense of wellbeing if you dealt with it?
Watching less TH-cam
Making my next choice even if I feel afraid or make a mistake
you gotta pin your comment, Joey :)
@@natalievelikaya2161 fixed. Thanks :)
Staying on top of work
"I can't start dating people. This isn't the best version of me yet"
OMG, this is so accurate, this is word by word what I used to say!
I've been telling this myself my whole life. I'm 20 now, and I still haven't dated anyone because of this.
@@vladmosiychuk Sup dude, wish you luck in overcoming that thing you probably not feeling very confident to do.
I guess I only can tell you that most things are not as complicated and hard as you think they are, unless you are going to date a president or some shit idk.
I felt the same way about getting a job being unexperienced or doing cold showers, jogging and whatever painful/hard excersises I do, but eventually I realised the anticipation is more painful than the "doing that thing" itself and my decision to me being afraid of such stuff was "just doing it" knowing I will/might fail, no matter how stupid, unplanned, irrational and unthought of that tip might sound. Not everything went smoothly, sometimes I fail and get frustrated, but I feel easier and happier after I've done the thing rather than before, not doing it while being afraid of it, and that's for the most things out there, I think.
so I hope that helps somehow, good luck and know that you should use whatever helps you do that thing, even if its anger or whatever negative emotions that push you forward (wouldnt recommend that but I think you wont need them to control you as you realise that the very thing was easier to do that you thought it would be)
@@vladmosiychuk As Gary would say at 20 you are just a baby. You have time to start the change you want today. Good luck
YESS I even stopped video to think about it
thats really me lol
I actually read this poem on Pinterest today, and it was talking about how we shouldn’t force children to strive for extraordinary lives, but to teach them how to find joy in the ordinary. There was a line that specifically said, “Make the ordinary come alive for them, and the extraordinary will take care of itself.” I thought that was beautiful.
Oh! I read something similar in "The subtle art of not giving a f" by Manson. I 100% agree.
So profound!
So beautiful, 😢
I love that! Thanks for sharing it!
This reminds me of a Pinterest post I read about living life like a Studio Ghibli movie. Those movies have a way of making even the smallest most mundane things beautiful. And they're right. There is extraordinary beauty in the ordinary.
"Imagine for a second that you are a horribly miserable person... Maybe you don't have to imagine"
oof
[:(
Haha oof indeed
LMFAO died at that part
That struck like an arrow straight to my soul 😀
thats the best thing you got out of this video?
I wanted to be a filmmaker after I dropped the idea of being a space-engineer. For two-three years I leaned everything about it, went to a half year school and got jobs in the industry but I was still not happy. I had the same feeling as the guy in the film “Soul” where he asks the saxophonist after his biggest concert:
“ What now?” and she amswers “Same time tomorrow “
That moment hit me.
Because then I knew why I wasn’t happy. I had this biig idea that when I made it as a filmmaker then everything will be great. I had a period where I needed to figure out what to do and now I’m in uni studying about digital culture and how information is spread. I LOVE IT! Also because I get to talk with so many people and learn about stuff I really find interesting. The most important is that I learned that dreams are not written in stones and life can be lived in many ways.
Hey Ida, I'm ironically doing the same thing. Could I ask you what's your current degree title? Thanks
@@federicomamone7213 Oh what a coincidence! I'm studying in Bachelor in Information studies.
What about you?
Very well said
It sounds to me like you have a need for growth and connection which is awesome
thank you for sharing your story ... I recommend deleting the info you shared about your location in the comments ... since you know, it's the internet.
I have to agree. The minute I gave up on my dreams I was instantly happier. I figured out that doing absolutely nothing was better than any dream. Stress is non-existent now that I’ve given up on everything. There’s nothing better than nothing.
This is me now. Dream job: TH-cam. I’m living my best life but I’m not “present” to enjoy it. I feel like I trapped myself in this hamster wheel of content creation that I didn’t leave any time for myself like exercising, playing games, or just exploring hobbies in general. Even making meaningful connection with people or seeing old friends I feel like I don’t have time for. I always tell myself I would work on these things but they always end up getting sidelined because I worry if I slow down doing my “dream job,” the dream would be over. It’s a toxic habit I accidentally developed and I’m trying to work through it. I now prioritize and factor in self-care into my schedule to make sure I don’t neglect it. I’m doing better but still got miles to go!
I'm sorry.
well written
You may consider creating tiny habits that won't take too much time to go in the new direction you want. You can exercise for 5minutes every morning. Play a game for 5mins when in the bathroom or have a walk after lunch to clear your head and still be able to deliver frequent and great quality content. DM if you would like to talk more about it :)
@@georgewhite553 Working out for 5 minutes? At that point you might as well just dont work out at all. But i get your point
@@Cartman5101 well... you need to start somewhere, with a small goal not to discourage yourself
I came to the realization that I used my “dream job” as my sole source of happiness and value earlier this year. Once my internet “popularity” started to die down or level out, I turned to every empty external source looking for validation, to overcompensate. I realized I starved myself emotionally and spiritually. Back in April I went to a therapist, starting working with a personal trainer and began to reinvest in myself again. Work on my relationships, and work on myself and shortcomings.
This video really hits the nail on the head for me. You did a great job articulating what I was battling for a few years. Keep up the great work.
Your videos were always fun and interesting. Truly revealing and humbling what you're sharing here, and it's great news you've taken the healthy route towards healing and bettering the life you got.
Some people in your position, would have taken a more egotistical and desperate aproach when faced with the fact that the massive attention they got is flowing to the next thing. It's inspiring, thanks for sharing :)
Thank you for sharing and talking about the dark side. Social media can be a great tool, but also like a drug - you need a bigger dose overtime to keep the high (because brains get used to the stimulus), but once you cannot get it, you feel withdrawal effects. No matter if you are a content consumer (binging, problem to concentrate) or creator (burn-out). My solution was also to concentrate on the process and reprogram brain with "Cognitive behavioral therapy."
Love your TH-cam channel Anthony! Also love your songs from Silent Knife. "Could have been love" is an awesome song!
You are doing it again, Anthony.
Just kidding.
Ele i've watch your vídeo with Violet orlandi 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
hey quick question why is this video about me personally?
It is you personally
Yeah, your music skills are trash, try harder
(Just kidding, really enjoy your vids)
oh hell, didn't expect you here at all
Ayy Bald Gang v hawt😌🔥
Seth Neverman
This is why I love the idea of to not worry about the future. Become the person you truly want to be and your best life will pan out perfectly.
I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to chase your dream, as long as you enjoy the process. To me, it seems way harder to live without a 'goal' or dream job to work to..
I know right.
I am the same. I enjoy the process of following my dreams even though it can be extremely harsh sometimes.
@earthgrazer5511 sometimes I want to give up my dream I am going to retired at the age of 35
Ini karena aku tidak mau dan bimbang mungkin guts ku sudah cukup
Omg!!! This man is so beautiful!!! I want to put my face next to the arch of his foot!!!!!
"Following your dream is killing your gains" ©Jeff Cavaliere
Wow I thought the same lmao
Golden comment but its actually Jeffcavaliereathleanxdotcom
"putting the science back in strength"
Lmao this caught me off guard. Haha
I wish I could like twice
So basically there is nothing directly wrong with following our dreams. We just can't forget to enjoy life while following them.
Hustle culture has become so toxic to the point where I feel bad for enjoying my life cause they push the agenda that you gotta work all the time so much
@@toyesobayo924 Honestly same, i feel so guilty to only work 30 hrs a week while it's such a great work/personal life balance and I can actually do what I want outside work.
@@kawaiipoop3160 right like my birthday was last Sunday and I'm in college so I decided to go out partying with my friends, keep in mind I go to a huge party school with parties every weekend and I've only been to 1 party and that was during move-in week and I don't even drink or smoke anyway. Next morning I go on Tiktok and I see all these videos about people shaming others for partying during Halloweekend instead of grinding or working on something and I'm like wtf I've only been out twice now and I've been balancing work over play pretty well why do they gotta make me feel bad for enjoying this one weekend.
Yeah so Gary vee isn’t the person to listen to. The dream isn’t what life should be. Life should be the dream. There’s a worlds most longest study on Happiness that suggests people who have a community and have bonded genuine connections with people, they live longer, they’re more healthy physically and mentally and depression rates were so lowww. Those who “ do it by themselves” are lonely, depressed, unwell and they deep down regret working hard on their own. sure some days you won’t have time for people but just your grind and that’s okay but when you have the opportunity to chill and enjoy company, do it !
It's that but more than that, the core of your existence and your feelings won't change no matter what happens outside, UNTIL you directly work on them(thr problems) instead of thinking the magic pill of your dreams will cure everything and you'll live happily ever after.
I think he's saying straight up facts, getting too focused into a dream and leaving everything else will just make you feel the same even after you achieve your goal, that's why you should stop depending your happiness on that dream and enjoy the life as it is.
Damn bro there's great wisdom in your comment ! 🙏🔥👏🙌
i kind of agree till " Stop depending happiness on that dream" but i dont agree with the enjoy life as it" cuz that can mean ignoring all the problems that you are facing or pretending to not have any will make you miserable as well
ok
True
@@sage-jz5ee I think what he means is being grateful at the very present moment of your life, that you are still living, still be able to face and fix problems. This does not mean that you are settled down, do nothing at all. Long story short, enjoy the process of facing and fixing your problem. Sorry for my bad English that I couldn't fully express my thought.
"I can't start dating people. This isn't the best version of me yet.." Hit home
Just wanted to vent this here as it seemed appropriate. I studied at university for four years with the dream of becoming a car journalist. I thought it was my dream, to be paid to talk and write about cars which is my true passion.
After applying to hundreds of jobs and waiting over a year after graduating, I finally got offered my dream job as an editor at Europes biggest car website/magazine.
And it really sucks. Just like pretty much every job! The dream does not match the reality, and I’ve learnt that a job doesn’t define who you are. I’ll probably keep this up, but it’s what you do OUTSIDE of work that really defines you. What hobbies to you have? Are you part of any teams? What makes you unique and interesting when you’re free amongst the world?
I don’t have any hobbies, I thought being a car journalist was all I wanted to do with my life. Now I need to start building and focusing on the things and people that really make life fantastic.
It could be that the YOU that created the goal was the confused YOU, and thoughts, ideas that stem from this YOU are liable to go wrong, the deeper or real YOU would not have made those decisions, the real you knows what you are here for and suffers sooner or later hen you are running around on the wrong you mode and programming, the way to meet the real YOU is to meditate and calm down and slow down and stop! The wrong you will fight it and feel like its dying, but its not YOU, its dying, let it die.
Then the veil will be gone and you'll realise the REAL YOU didnt need to be anybody, it knows who he or she is, if you still want to make goals make it from this YOU.
Im talking more about myself here than you personally, what do you think?
The only self improvement channel that tells things as it is.
@@mateomarrero_4081 "why self improvement is a mistake " right?
He covers every areas even if it contradicts his channels name 😁
Nah, many channels "tell it like it is". I do appreciate his honesty and he's totally right! I've heard this same message many times over though. It's accurate, it's awesome that he is talking about this stuff and I think he is awesome for it, but he's nof the only one saying it.
I guess he's telling those things because the era of this fancy concept of 'self-development' is over and everyone's had enough of it and understands it's BS
@@christix6648 Know what's funny? Different things work for different people. Just because ome way is right doesn't by default mame the other way wrong. Also, people have different points in their journeys. Casey Neistat is a great example. He went hardcore tk the point where it was causing stress for his family, but he eventually backed down. If he hadn't focus so hard during the years that he did, he wouldn't have the same flexibility to live life as he does now.
Everyone's journeys are different. Just saying it's not so black & white as people are making it here.
I think Mark Manson does this too, his channel is worth a check
beautiful bald man only speaks fax
Pigisus, make a video about this.
Eyy pegasus is here yey :D
you are absolutely right
ayy pegasus is here
He looks like Jen Psaki. That isn't beautiful.
I finally learned in my early 30s that happiness exists where you are, it's a matter of changing your perspective on things. Jobs will change, the economy will ebb and flow, people will die, friends will move away, relationships will sometimes fall apart for things out of your control. Emotional independence is so crucial. I've seen so many people (myself included) that fall into the trap you speak of, that they can't really be happy or get life rolling until they find the perfect person, land that dream job, buy that new car... It never stops, so it's crucial to just learn to change the things you have control over and stop wasting time obsessing over the things you don't. Finally having that epiphany was incredibly liberating. Life's not perfect, but that's the point. Learn to accept life where you are, not how you want it to be, because us humans are incredibly good at pushing goalposts.
I'm not playing this stupid game because I already know where you're trying to go with this as if someone aggressively oppressing you is something you just accept and take lying down. Stop being daft and disingenuous with trying to twist the underlying point I was trying to make.
As far as being obese, you absolutely can eat less and try working out. Sorry if that triggers you but it's the truth. You can't put on calories you don't intake, and you can't retain calories you burn up via exercise.
But keep playing the victim game though I get the sense you're one of those people that just loves being contrarian for the sake of being contrarian. It really is insufferable. Please stop for the sake of the people you interact with. It's exhausting for them and isn't healthy for yourself.
@moonlapsevertigo 323 I wanna see where this goes
@@brett84c that was a really good response to that logical fallacy
Person I was responding to deleted their comment but for those confused, they basically asked "what do you say to sex traffic slaves, or people that are obese?". They worded it in a way you usually get from people that have a victim and accountability problem. Honestly, I genuinely hope that person can acknowledge their problem and fix it. I don't like being rude or angry, but some sometimes you can't mince words with those kinds of people. Anyways, no hate here. I want everyone to find happiness and conquer their demons.
@@silentmouse2136 what was the comment they replied to? It’s gone now
I love how many successful TH-camrs who comment here can relate to this. For me: I realized my brain is not made to be happy, it‘s made to survive. So I throw enough work at it that it has no time for brooding.
Hey man love your work, keep your head up!
Hey FatRat love your music, wish you are healthy and happy right there
Fancy seeing you here lol
yo it's thefatrat
What a sad way to live life, having to work so as not to feel unhappy
This man is literally explaining why it's the journey not the destination. Yes, have goals and dreams, but never give up present day HEALTHY happiness for such things. (not fake happiness like drugs, social media addiction, porn, shopping, etc). I love this channel.
Guess the message is: "Everything we need to be happy is already here."
ROSÉ: "Everything I need is on the ground"
@@TheIllusionCulpritMC Oxygen is in the Air.
Yup
What about the orphans growing up in war somewhere in Afghanistan? They also should be happy with what they have?
As a poor person, is there $50,000 sitting around somewhere? Cuz that shit would fix sooo many problems.
amen brother!! Couldn’t agree more, I as well “made it” and realized not one damn thing had changed except for a number on a screen
Ha that is why I am mentally retired i guess. I guess even before living the dream, i knew it is all chasing after the wind. Life in itself doesnt have much meaning- a mirage, and the inconsiderate self-focused people in this era make it more miserable, so it is a constant struggle and hopes in something that is unreliable. Focusing on God helps and just being a kind helpful human and when possible following intellectual pursuits and knowledge (when i can carve time without having to fight with my fears of speaking up).
And your bank account
@@hashh2019 100%. I believe in Fate.
There is an old Russian joke:
- What's your biggest dream?
- To stop drinking.
- Why won't you stop drinking then?
- What's worth a life without dreams?
Very depressing lol
😂🤣😂🤣
Hey
Lolllll
Lol
I’ve definitely seen times in my life that I was so blinded by hopes and dreams that I neglected certain aspects of my life and overlooked certain risks and ultimately paid a pretty big price. I’ll always be a dreamer at heart, especially around my passions and career, but this perspective definitely resonated and is something I want to leverage to stay balanced. Thanks for the consistently thought provoking content!
The balance of this is something I have been struggling with for so long, and still do from time to time. Ever since I was a teen and started playing guitar I always fantasized about being in a famous band and making my mark on the music world. Years went by and I started to realize that this dream was not something easy to do. Don't get me wrong, I have been working so hard for it and putting many hours into it. I just thought that would be enough. I started beating myself up over the fact that I had not made it. I did this when I was 21, when I was 24, when I was 26 and right now I'm struggling again with this feeling of "not having made it". I have made progress, but it's so difficult to put this image of a successful life which I have had since my early teenage years aside. I do realize now that it is good to take a step back from time to time and see where you are, appreciate it, be happy with the here and now. Even though I am more able to do this than let's say 5 years ago I still struggle with the feeling of not having my dream life from time to time.
Just wanted to put this feeling into words, since it helps dealing with it all. I wasn't expecting to find your video, but it has been very comforting hearing this through a stranger on the internet.
I felt every word. Thanks for sharing with us. Best of luck in your journey.
I often wonder what it would be like if my dream didn't rely so heavily on external validation and beating the competition. What if I felt that fulfillment through crocheting rather than singing on a stage? How easy it would be to feel alive
I kind of had this “come to Jesus” moment about this when I realized my dreams weren’t actually *my* dreams - they are what my family wanted for me and what I thought I wanted.
Then I realized so much in life is so much more important to me - family, love, happiness in the now. I still have a dream - different now - and I’m going to work on that, but it doesn’t have to happen today or tomorrow for me to be happy. I can be happy now just enjoying the simple things while working toward my goals. This video filled in a lot of blanks for me!
The overall idea of "follow your dream" caused me so much anxiety, i dont have dreams so i thought it was essential for everyone to have at least one and work hard to achieve it
Same man couldn’t agree more I feel like you have to have something your working towards otherwise what are you working towards ? I feel like everyone has something that they really want to accomplish in life but most just want to be happy I feel everyone has there own definition of happiness for some it’s achieving what they want most whatever that may be for there own status or fulfilment to say they achieved something great .
I think you're just honest with yourself. There are other, more foundational needs to meet and fulfill before self-actualizing. Self-actualizing doesn't have to be some grandiose aspiration to achieve on a collective-scale. It could simply be to lead a happy, healthy life, have a family, and at the end, have no regrets. Your dream is your own. If you don't have one now, you will, and that's okay. It is good to have some kind of direction in life though. Aimless wandering isn't healthy either (not saying you suggested that). Just my thoughts.
It's always fine to have a destination, but you can never live in a destination
People always forget that any "primary goal" also has side effects. Lots of them. Everything is a tradeoff and that also applies to dreams
Fancy seeing you here!
Brilliantly put. "Follow your dreams" is one of the many lies consumerism has engrained in our brains.
I loved this! People get so stuck on the outcomes of things. ‘When I have this thing or do that thing I will be happy’. When I’m reality you won’t. I’m currently on my journey to my dream job but I’m not too focused on the outcome but I’m actually really enjoying the journey to achieving this dream job. I’m honestly really happy now even though I haven’t achieved what I have wanted yet and that’s ok. Because I know things take time. I also realised that I am currently living the dreams that my younger self had which has made me so happy. Humans have been given the ability to think in the future and the past which is a blessing but also a curse and we tend to be so caught up in the past or futures and are not even present right now. That’s what I’m trying to work on, to enjoy the present now and being happy with now. Not with my future that I have made up in my head. :)
I think the deeper message here is whether or not you're focusing on your work, or focusing on having "made it".
Studies do show that the happiest people are those who spend the most amount of time in flow state. This is easiest to do when doing something you love, and so if you make your passion your job, you'll be able to spend the most amount of time in flow state possible.
However, what is arguably far more important, is your perspective during this process.
If you're always waiting until you hit a certain goal to be happy, then you might find yourself waiting, forever.
This.
That's the summary.. you got it 💥💯. OP pin this comment📌. That's completely true.. the flow state is when mind is focused on one thing and time flows so fast that you lose track of time.. 1 hr feels like 10 mins.. In the opposite, if you don't like the things or it's too difficult for your current abilities/Skill level, 10 mins of work feels like 1 hr.. time drags.. so Doing activities in you flow state keeps your mind off of worries and happy..
This reminds me of a book I've recently read. 'Ikigai'
The nice thing about this is once you actually start doing what you need to do and make progress towards your dream or goals, you will experience positive emotion.
*”Life is a journey, not a destination”*
I’ll put it on my whiteboard as a reminder
Rather than focusing on the destination, we should enjoy the journey. Because that's what matters.
We are more than our goals and designation.
What if you are in your 30s, single, workin for a min wage and 0 social life cause all friends works a lot too? Thats where having a dream can keep you alive and optimist
@@bastbast6464 search also other friend! and partner> This should be it. Aply for other jobs, if something shows up go for it. If not, continue to be happy. Like watching great discussions on youtube.
This video is for people like me who already found out chasing dreams didnt work and now we are desperate. This helped me
Your videos are always so relatable for some reason
for multiple reasons*
I disagree with this video, of course dreams are not the most important thing. This guy is basically saying that I would spend my entire life in my dreams, forgetting about my family, spiritual bla bla blah. And he is also spoiling on what it feels like after you reach your dreams. Of course people have different perspective of things. Some people are happier reaching their dreams, and some are not. If you reach your dreams and it’s not enough, then find more, find what really makes you happy. Of course don’t forget to spend time with your family, yourself, and spiritual health.
If you didn’t read my comment, then don’t even dare to try replying to me.
The goal of life is to witness life, not to chase a dream.
Says you.
Assuming there is a goal to life. Maybe life just is. And you can actually make it, not externally, but internally mean whatever you want it to mean. Shit happens, but you create the narrative.
What, you amazo or something?
We all have different opinions for me the purpose of life is to create a life I love.
Then when I am able to do what I love life will be better for me. I'm not saying I need my dreams to be happy but man is life 30x better when you're doing what you love every single day.
I like the concept but the goal of life is subjective from what one wants out of it.
Something I could do immediately: Put more work into my apartment. I rescued a coffee table that I need to refinish. I live very minimally even though I have a very good income. While I still don't need or want a lot of space, putting some direct effort into the space I have has been super healthy for my mental wellbeing. You don't always need to be in survivor mode.
I think we're often taught to grind our way to our dreams, but that can result in working harder, not smarter. It took me until my mid thirties to realize that the trick is to live intentionally, but from a wholistic perspective. Achieving most things requires time and consistency, but that investment has to be directed correctly. Balancing your life properly frees up your mental baggage, allowing you to do exactly that.
"I can't start dating people. This isn't the best version of me yet" This is literally me right now.
Thank you for this video. Felt everything you said. I am indeed postponing my happiness, denying myself so many things because I'm not there yet. Made me cry, thank you.
Loved this video. I heard someone said : Walk besides your dreams. Not for them. There’s so much more things that are more important than reaching that goal. It’s important to have goals too but let’s not just live for them. Inner peace is the most important thing to reach.
You really opened my eyes when you said "The experience of what it feels like to be me, doesn't change on what I do for a living"
A friend of mine is currently in a miserable and depressive state. She had a rough teenhood and now she is lost and also stuck in a bad relationship, she complains that she doesn't know what she wants to do in the future. A few days ago I told her what you mentioned in this video right now, that one should fix him/herself, regardless of the time it will take, before considering pursuing something. And your video really made me happy because what you have said is what I told her a few days ago, but you brought up more details. Thanks a lot for your video, I really want to help and support her and your videos really help me to put my philosophical ideas together.
You have expressed the exact thing I discovered recently. Throughout my childhood and teenage years I've always been fat and really asocial. Since a few years I've started working on losing some weight, however I've been focused on it and basically hating myself because I was overweight and very few friends, never had a relationship etc. Like I thought that I had to change before being worthy of other people. I'm still not there yet, I'm trying to improve the relation with myself but I have realized that I have missed on so many occasions and just prevented myself from being happy because I still had work to do. Especially on the internet I think there is this "toxic positivity" or "toxic improvement" that is easy to fall into and you just were able to words on my thoughts and feelings so thank you.
I have watched a ton of selfhelp videos and read even more selfhelp books, and only a few people break down the, what I think, essential values as well as you do. And the thing with the "Follow your dreams" really opened my eyes. Thank you so much for that!
sleeping habits and my room - i’m immediately able to fix when i go to sleep/when i wake up and keep my room clean
I feel you! You're way ahead of me, but I think as TH-camrs we're all on this hamster wheel of maintenance and improvement and I'm realising that living life to the fullest often just requires slowing down. There's an infinite number of superior imagined alternatives for my future, but my desire for improvement only highlights my dissatisfaction for the present - a cycle of diminishing returns that never stops unless I choose to let it. Great video, Joey.
It's incredibly refreshing to hear a TH-camr say that they're the exact same person as they were before they 'made it'. You're not egotistical, you just put out quality content. Good on you.
Thank you so much! Your video caught my eyes once I searched for the term "people living my dreams" and it really helped me realize things about myself and it's really gonna change the way I think. Thank you so much for this great video!
I’ve been accomplishing a few different things that play a big role in achieving my life goal lately. I was working very hard, spending a lot of time working on it, and sometimes even denied my friends’ invite to a hangout. Eventually, the day came, I succeeded in my plans and I am currently moving towards my goals at a great pace. But when I look back I realize I wasn’t enjoying life and I’m not enjoying it right now either. To me everything seems like an obligation, a purposeful task that has to be done and it constantly reminds me to stay on track no matter what happens. It’s only recently that I’ve finally understood how toxic those feeling and thoughts are and finding this video really assured me that I need to change. This video talks about a rare topic and rare aspect of depressive thoughts, which is why I’m very thankful that you made it. I hope you read this and continue making great videos 👍🏻
This here is why I fell back on making beats… I didn’t like the process. I loved creating. I loved putting thought and flow to instrument… or DAW for my producer heads…. But I always put so much thought into what it would be like to put these beats out and sell them that I stopped having fun… I loved a fantasy that I wasn’t ready for mentally or emotionally. I’m in the gym now and it feels amazing to pick things up and put them down and I don’t have to think…. Sorry for the long post but I’m new to your vids and this one resinated with me
Facts bro. Happy for you. Keep going!
@@phx-b I appreciate that! Thank you!
@3ViL D3AD maybe one day I’ll go back
@@TheRav3n The music industry and a lot of other industries involving art on pretty much every level seem to be rampant with a corrupted intention of using talent and creativity to gain popularity and esteem. Creating with the intention of self-exploration and discovery is pure I think. If you want to release your art afterwards just to share your creation with others, there is nothing wrong with that either. I think the creations that come out of that energy end up more genuine and real. It's something you can be wholeheartedly proud of even if it doesn't get all the attention of the world. Who cares about the thoughts of strangers you know nothing of compared to what your children might think of your art one day, and by extension, you? Plenty of world-famous artists have sacrificed meaningful relationships for the pursuit of esteem granted by basically numbers. That doesn't bode well for your emotional well-being I think. Use creativity to sort yourself out through art if you decide to, and bring a little piece of heaven to this world. That's just my opinion though. I'm sure there are many other factors involved. I'm speaking a more general-sense.
@@thebuttersqiud8912 I appreciate this response. About 2 years ago though, I wasn’t in that place to accept it as something I was just having fun with… I got into fitness to find something that sticks, then I actually fell in love with the process… the discipline of fitness will help me accept that making music is beautiful even if like you said, you don’t get notoriety for it
“Yes, have hopes and dreams for the future, otherwise you are directionless. But do not forget to keep one foot grounded in the present moment.” Solid words.
When I was younger I asked my grandfather how to have a happy life and he told me that I just needed to do what I truly wanted to do at that time. He told me to focus on doing things that I enjoy everyday. This advice has helped me to learn what it is to be happy.
I hear ya, but nobody would be anybody listening to this. Keep chasing dreams if it’s your purpose.
Am I the only person that cried while watching this? This made me come to terms with my depression. Now I'm critically evaluating all my life choices in regards to the type of career I'd like to pursue.
Right now I'm not entirely sure of what I'd like to do and I need to accept the fact that that's ok. What's not ok is doing nothing while trying to figure it out. Thank for making this video. It was an eye opener❤.
I don't know if it helps at all, but the majority of people don't really like their job in any event. My husband doesn't like his job a lot of the time, but he's reframed it as something he does to buy the time and provide the resources to do the things he really wants to do. For him, that passion has always been music. For me, it's running and spending time in nature (I took up birdwatching during the pandemic and now I'm a real nerd about duck species).
And the fact is that most people change not just jobs but careers at least once in their life. It doesn't have to be set in stone and it shouldn't define who you are. Best of luck to you. ❤️
@@Ad1nfernum ❤❤
I'm going through things the same as you.Big hugs.
"You're delegating responsibility to some hypothetical, you're letting go of the reins of your life and the responsibility of forging your own happiness in life as it is, you're relinquishing control...you can be hamster wheeling yourself like that right into your grave" Thank you!!!
It's a form of addiction. This ONE THING will deliver me all the happiness I don't have now.
I am totally with you. "Follow your dreams to become happy" only puts focus on what is missing. If you make your happiness depending on what you NOT have, you can't really see what you already got and what might be able to make you happy. You might not work in your dream job but maybe you've got awesome friends and a hobby that fullfills you. You might not live in your dream house but maybe you got the best dog ever and travel a lot.
Find happiness in what you have to generate the energy you need to achieve what might add to that.
I agree on that statement but also I feel like even when achieving the dream you may not feel happy as most that are fulfilled and achieved there dream aren’t that happy as they focused all there time in achieving a dream and working towards it that they didn’t carry there friends etcc with them to enjoy it hence why most people may feel alone and could look back at the times when chasing dream could’ve be on the backseat for a while and enjoy family friends a bit more
Basically "be grateful" 🙂
I wasn’t expecting this at all. Your perspective really changed my mindset on what I’m currently going through. Thank you for this video.
I disagree with this video, of course dreams are not the most important thing. This guy is basically saying that I would spend my entire life in my dreams, forgetting about my family, spiritual bla bla blah. And he is also spoiling on what it feels like after you reach your dreams. Of course people have different perspective of things. Some people are happier reaching their dreams, and some are not. If you reach your dreams and it’s not enough, then find more, find what really makes you happy. Of course don’t forget to spend time with your family, yourself, and spiritual health.
If you didn’t read my comment, then don’t even dare to try replying to me.
@@StrawberryLyricsWorld ok
@@jazzyparker12ok
Man this video hit real hard. I chased a “dream job” for a decade only for me to realize that that “dream” job is not everything in life. In the process of achieving my goal I gave up so much time away from my family. I missed time that I will never get back. I realized I was about to trade more time away from my family for a “bigger” house, etc. My mistake was I built my life the wrong way with dreams as the foundation instead of my loved ones. That is true that if you feel unhappy now achieving your dreams won’t automatically switch your unhappiness to happiness more than likely there is something else that is stopping you from being happy. Pursuing a meaningful life in the bosom of our loved is a far important dream to achieve than the so called dream. Life is short after all.
You're just boasting about how you achieved your dream lol
@@323martyrstreet8exactly. Doesnt have a clue.
Dude you’re a legend I woke up this morning feeling like crap and it’s like the universe new I could use this video.
And linear regression algorithms
"Process is an end in itself."
- Sadhguru
He is a cult leader
I stil don't know what to think about this guy. He sounds smart and all but i haven't really heard anything that would be a really good advice. Besides he Saíd that He Is Always stoned So that doesn't really help him.
He is a con artist, and a bad person
@@user-ib9eb7yb3b still a good quote
@@user-ib9eb7yb3b prove it.
The issue I have with being happy with who you are is: How do I prevent myself from becoming narcissistic? What if I keep telling myself I'm really great without reality matching up to the things I keep telling myself?
Being narcissistic is reserved for those who are incapable of being open-minded, people who refuse to believe they have flaws and never work on their weaknesses. You ARE really great!! You're strong and capable of anything. Believe in yourself. Sometimes you'll mess up, but recognize that you do have things you must work on and that way you won't become narcissistic. But usually people who are narcissistic have never worried that they will become narcissistic. You're on the other end of the spectrum, so don't worry and recognize that it's just an excuse. Give yourself the most love you can, that's my advice. Be open-minded, have a foot grounded in reality and be kind to yourself.
I definitely needed this video a year ago! Started living in the presence recently and so much changed. Just as you said life is a journey. Loved this! Thank you
Present* presence means something else.
One thing that you can do straight away that will reap immediate benefits is fixing your sleep schedule. Learning the importance of sleep as a part of my degree (one more semester to a bachelor's in psychology, woohoo) I'm amazed at how much of our lives it influences. So much of our capacity to function is impaired by sleep deprivation, because sleep is necessary for the whole brain. When someone is suffering from a mood disorder the first course of action is to fix the patient's sleep schedule. Even if you think you can operate just fine while sleep deprived, studies say that you really can't. In fact, a sleep deprived brain is unable to accurately tell how sleep deprived it actually is, so if you haven't really slept, but you think you're OK- you're not. Fix your sleep schedule.
“Everyone wants you to forget you’re gonna die. Cause if they convince you you’re not gonna die you waste your time doing what they want you to do”, “And one day I’m gonna die. But before then I’m gonna live live live the way I want to live, and I hope you do too.”
This quote from Mike Posner’s live performance of Pill In Ibiza felt pretty relevant to me. Never forget that every day is a gift and that it could be your last. If you waste your time always concerned about the destination, you’ll reach it and realize you missed out on the entire journey. It’s something I think we all have to remind ourselves of at some point or another.
I used to be obsessed with this girl when i was 18. Madly in love with her. Planned on living my life with her. We had a lot of bumps but after 5 years i finally managed to be with her . But what happened was i realized that i was the same, for years i would think to myself that "if i can have her, everything would be fine and dandy in my life". Things were good for a few days, after that i reverted back to being malcontent. The goals we set in life are like temporary fixes and distractions from whats aching us deep down
facts! 100% :O !!!
I dont think you should compare obsession over another human being with living out your passion
So a simp basically?
My core issue is death.
Following my dreams and 'purpose' set me back years. I ended up ditching them and created a vision that wasn't a 'dream' but a high status job I could realistically achieve with hard work and determination that I knew wouldn't suck. I know work that job and love it.
You shouldn’t think of what will happen if you reach your dreams, it’s demotivating, specially if that didn’t happen. And dreams aren’t you’re entire purpose, unlike this man in the video is saying.
Of course you’re not gonna spend every single second on your dream, that you forget about God and your family.
People need to love their jobs more, so they can be happy, just like what you did
I’m kinda scared of not reaching my dreams, do you know any tips?
@@StrawberryLyricsWorld Love yourself.
I need to learn to accept myself more and know that not everything I do has to be perfect
6:35 Taking care of your mental well-being IS taking care of your body. Let's say you're super depressed and feeling down you will probably start to over-eat or under-eat.
Me at 100 subscribers "I just want 1000 maaannn, that would be soooo coool maaaann, making money from urr passionnn".
1000 Subscribers, same deal, just want 10k now
10k, same deal, just want 100k now
100k, now want 1M
On my way to 1 Million right now, I expect it to take 3-5 years. The difference is I'm no longer diluding myself into thinking "I'll be happy when" because I won't. It's in our nature to never be satisfied, that's why rich people want to be richer and your subscriber count is always weaksauce in your mind. Solid video Joey. I like the casual talking to the camera style video.
Thank you so much!
People really need to speak about this more.
Everybody just brags so much about living a dream that it genuinely feels like you're a piece of waste if you don't.
I'm only a junior in high school. The past few weeks were HELL for me and only recently did my girlfriend and dad break me out of it. I held myself at obnoxiously high expectations for the school year and overworked myself assuming I'd end up being an incredibly new and improved student. I followed pomodoro streams and nearly idolized those streamers that studied for 10 hours a day. It was all to "follow my dreams" but I never even gave myself time to enjoy myself, maybe play a game, or get the hell away from my desk for once and go out with my friends. I skipped school twice because I kept feeling unprepared for tests no matter how many hours I put into studying. I'd study until 2 AM, wake up at 5 AM, and just decide to not go to school. I was in a dark and toxic place and I didn't realize that I was dumping my youth away assuming that the price I was paying was worth it for this glamorous dream job I'd have in the future where I could finally enjoy myself. Because as they all say, "Hard work pays off."
MASSIVE thanks to my girlfriend and dad, as they pulled me out of it before I nearly reached my breaking point. I stopped studying relentlessly, hell I studied for like 45 minutes the night before an English test and surprise, surprise... it was not as bad as I anticipated. I stopped following pomodoro streamers and let myself manage my own study habits and time instead of letting a streamer do it for me. I'd indulge in a well-needed break of videogames, time with my girlfriend or friends and family. I no longer look only towards the future and overwork myself out of dread. I find happiness in my day to day life and appreciate that every time I wake up, I get to enjoy another day in my life.
Thanks for this video. I am writing for pure therapy... if I started ACTUALLY being grateful for what I have and being kind to others and praying more often, it would change everything. I have been feeling incredibly obsessed with getting my 'dream job' at the moment. I have it in my mind that once I am a diplomat somewhere in the world, I will have 'made it'. I will be talking to interesting people, and living what I consider 'a dream life'. I know I would still have to do my laundry, do the grocery shopping, deal with broken relationships and world tragedies but for some reason, I irrationally believe that once I am a 'diplomat', that all my problems will go away and I will have peace in the knowledge that I reached my potential, that I am where I always dreamed of being. That being said, I certainly never want to be an ambassador - I don't want the pressure of making speeches and small talk with everyone - I would hate that. It's more that I want to have a job in an embassy where I can meet interesting people. Take away the interesting people and the embassy and I don't want to be a diplomat anymore. I also like the idea of being paid to learn languages and travelling the world (which yes I could do anyway but if I am paid to do these things it is even better). The fact that I don't know if this dream will ever be possible is driving me insane and taking my joy and peace away all the time. I feel restless and desperate for this dream to be realised. I don't think anyone will read this but if you have, I would be interested to hear your perspective. Is this normal? Have you felt similar before? Am I delusional?
I once had a mindset like you, you have to stop thinking so , otherwise it will led you to depression and destroy your life. I mean it. I was there too. Your too much in the future, come back to present.
It's crazy how anxiety make with us. Hostage of our past and make a thousand plans for future. The present is the real gift.
Bottom line: live in the moment and stay grounded even while dreaming of taking flight and soaring high. Great message 👍.
I totally agree.
I think the true key to succes is keeping a balance between everything.
This is one of the realest self improvement channels out here. The things talked about here are so much more raw and honest.
This one hits harder too. I think it’s something in the way that it’s not edited… really changes the overall tone.
Great video as always! Definitely one of your best yet.
Needed this. For the past week or so I randomly got this nes dream. A dream where I'm going to work once I reach the age of 16, not spend my money, go to college, and somehow end up living in a beautiful apartment in New York. This is my dream. And I'm honestly so close to following it. I'm only fourteen years old, but I am tired of living in this place. But I'm realizing that maybe this dream of mine won't go to plan, and once I reach that point of no return, I won't feel that fulfillment that I've always wanted. It's a terrifying thought. I'm anxious. I'm struggling. I'm feeling so hopeless. But this dream of mine is the only thing keeping me going. I'm living in hope that maybe someday I'll be happy. This is my mindset right now. Maybe I have to start stepping up and helping the issues in my life. Maybe I have to think more deeply about it (Trust me, I am). Maybe I have to start living my life the way I want my future to be. That might not be living in New York or having an amazing job, but what if it's the happiness I want in the future? What if I start trying to feel content and happy with where I am now? Will it change the way I look at the future? Will it help? Probably. Thank you for this video.
Going through this right now. In a PhD program, in a prestigious university, with a career lined up ahead of me, but also with expectations layered on by my friends, family, the university, society etc. that has got me thinking way too much about the future and what my life work would be. It's becoming more and more like my existence is defined through my work, that I'm supposed to be committed to solving problems that have puzzled people for years and that my life from now on will be dedicated to solving those problems, and it's starting to erode how I perceive myself and my mental health is beginning to spiral. I'm only just starting out, yet it feels like everyone (myself included) is already defining me by my work.
I've spoken with a lot of people inside and outside of the research field, and the opinions that I get are quite different. The PhD world seems to feel that "your work is you" is a fine description, I mean they're scientists after all and most of them are chasing their dreams in such a way. However, pretty much everyone else has told me to not put my work over myself. I'm at a loss at this point, but I can tell the PhD perspective has become mentally damaging in recent weeks. I'm planning on taking more time for myself, just having time where I can turn my brain off and not concentrate on work. Unfortunately, I can't shake the feeling that it may mean I have to let those final 2-3 points slide on the next assignment or get critiqued more harshly at the next lab meeting, but I just need to stop making that calculation altogether.
The sad part about all of this is that we spend so much time trying to *make* a living that we miss out on everything else in the process.
I mean, we go to school for 13 years and 4-7 years for university all so we can get a job that is above mediocrity. Do we truly enjoy those years? Or are those years just a way of rushing through just so that the *later* years could be better?
What if the average human life expectancy was even shorter than what people claim it is now? Would we have all that time to chase after our ambitions to improve the current state that we think isn't that great?
Life isn't necessarily about making a single chapter the best. It's about making every single chapter worthwhile to read.
That last paragraphe!
I've been feeling that second paragraph hard. I'm a freshman studying engineering, and I like math and especially physics, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm pushing myself hard through four hard years for a safety cushion.
@@naughti_penguin2340 Shoot... I feel you. I sometimes like to ask myself what I would do if I had... "time". So many of the things I had to quit doing in order to leave room for the more important stuff (that is, especially right now, school). I always wonder if it's possible, though. I want to do as much as I can in this day and age, but this thing we call "time" seems to prevent it. I know I can't just leave this until later on, because I know that I will "regret it". Hits hard...
@@naughti_penguin2340 You're in a great position, at university studying engineering, 99% of the world will envy your position so stop complaining. I've already finished university and studying isn't really that hard.
I studied Finance and I have a real passion for it, I would look forward to every class and I didn't study for some end goal or extrinsic reward, I studied Finance because I like it. In fact during my time at university I also took coding bootcamps along with my course simply for the joy of learning and using coding to enhance my Finance research capabilities.
If you don't feel this way about engineering then I think you're studying the wrong subject. Being in full-time education is a privalige, education is self improvement, and as a student you can work full-time on self improvement. It's a case of first world problems if you are complaining
@@ctb1977 "studying isn't really that hard" - engineering is really quite hard. 50% of people drop out for a reason.
I thought to much about my future and forgot about the present. I ended up hurting the most amazing woman that I know...
you aren't alone
Join the club :(
On the recieving end here- burnt my self-esteem seeming unworthy and unimportant and the lowest priority. I just wish that realization dawns on him atleast someday but i wish him no pain- he is gone pursuing a life he wants to live.
Everything comes at a cost
FUN FACT: YOU'RE GETTING BRAIN WASHED ☠️
I know I would be a lot happier from day to day if I stopped putting so much pressure on myself to constantly be busy and get things done all of the time. Juggling a job, a relationship, enough exercise and the hobbies I love doing can feel so overwhelming and causes me a lot of secondary frustration which I often take out on myself. I miss the days where I could just float through each day, maybe focusing on 3 main things and just enjoying the rest of my time. Great video once again!
I feel like I'm trapped in a cycle of misery. I search every day for answers. I think its my job, i think its where i live. But when you say that it's deeper, I feel that. I know it's something i need to just listen to and figure out instead of drowning it out. I know this but yet I dont do it. Rather I just sit, play games, and hate things and people in my life feel that. I have so much to work on. Thank you for your videos, they're really what has opened my eyes to this cycle I've created for myself.
Thank you. I'm working on being more proactive and not beating myself down with self doubt.
The part of about bringing your "Resentful" self over to your new dream job is so poignant, we often forget that there is no external validation that can make us feel at home in our own life. Great message...thank you.
I’m a professional magician. This video is so on point. Dream jobs, when pursued with huge intention, neglect other areas of your life. I had to take 2 years off to get my health and life in order because money and gigs were all I could focus on before. That said, I have no regrets about my career choice. I just wish I wasn’t so tunnel visioned in my 20’s.
It may have been worse if you didn't follow your dream and was left wondering "what if?". That may have been more painful. To age with regret and wonder what could have been. At least you're following your passion, living, and hustling. There is no fire in playing it safe from the maternity ward to the crematorium. If your path is truly your dream, you should be enjoying the journey regardless of the end goal. I don't know about you, but my biggest fear is becoming old and filled with regret - to me, that sounds horrifying.
And ironically, this video creator who is preaching that people don't follow their dreams followed his dream. This video is simply him taking a contrarian stance for easy clicks, and the people who already gave up on their dreams LOVE IT because it validates their choices. The majority of people give up and lead unremarkable lives with their victory being a comfortable retirement.
I used to love doing magic as a kid and also playing music. My problem was being painfully shy. It took a lot of bad things to humble me and make me better with that. Now I feel like I could address an entire room of people or even an auditorium of people without feeling that shy awkward lame weird feeling I did for so long.
I love how real this video is Joey! It hits hard!
I've been learning this lesson for the past year or so now, but I need to keep working on it. It's so easy to get wrapped up in goals that I forget to enjoy anything, and can easily feel like I'm not good enough to find joy yet anyway. I find that I put off so many things in life that really enrich and fulfill me because of this constant improvement mindset.
I've been finding that while goals are needed, life is about balance and moderation in just about everything, and that I'll never be "good enough" because there is no such thing, so I need to just embrace life and run with it.
This is a very needed video, especially in the personal development space!
man i’ve been chasing this dragon for so long, i forgot to enjoy the good moments. i’ve taken so many amazing people and their actions for granted.
i cried in laughter when he said imagine that you're anxious, resentful and depressed and i realized im all those things now for going through my medschool final exams 😂
Finally someone is taking about it. I've always wanted someone to agree with me on this topic. From an experience, that's totally right. Thank you so much for making this video.
I like this perspective… but I would like to relate the “waiting to date until I’m good enough”, to fitness.. because many of us can relate to this. Imagine being out of shape and overweight, but just saying to yourself “I’m good enough, I might as well just date”. By not being in shape, you’re most likely to attract someone with a similar shape into your life. That’s just a reality. Its not common to see 2 people together where one is in great shape, and the other isn’t. Point being, I think it is ok to work on yourself to build your career goals, finance goals, social goals before having the need to date. Because in a way, you’re settling
That's exactly my mentality. A *few* things I want in a partner is someone who's in shape, eats relativley healthy, and has a firm understanding of who they are. I only mark 1 of those 3 things. Why should I demand someone of a certain standard why I haven't even reached it.
I'm glad he spoke on this, I had this belief of waiting until I reached "my final form" before dating. I dont believe it was a good idea. Your love life is a part of your life. You wouldn't wait for anything else in life in that manner.
I understand bringing something more to the table, especially if that "more" is what you're seeking in someone else. However I think if you do wait until you "have it all together," when you come back to the dating scene you'll feel like you deserve women and it will show.
My thinking now is just to make sure I'm taking care of my business. When I'm sure that I'm being responsible about my life and moving forward, I feel like that's a healthy standard to maintain.
In my opinion, I think its possible to go on a date while you are working on all of those things. HOWEVER, dating should not be the no 1 priority.
I love this! I'm a stay at home homeschooling mom. This certainly wasn't my ~dream.~ It can be a very lonely life, so I've HAD to become at peace with myself so that I didn't go insane lol. And I'm super happy with who I've become and what I've overcome. I have loads more work to do and room to grow, but I am growing and that's a beautiful thing.
I am not a mum, but I am sure you are helping some beautiful children into the world 😊
@@em945 Thank you, that is very kind of you ❤️
I'm a stay at home, homeschooling mom too. My kids are what really keep me going. Of course some days aren't easy 😄
Fixing my sleep schedule will make a tremendous impact on my life
“Life is a journey, not a destination.” True words, Radiant.
What you’re talking about is really similar to what a therapist of mine has been telling me to look into lately- it’s something along the lines of “radical acceptance and commitment”. Good stuff
Yes, this is so true. Even after you finally reached your “dream”, there’s this empty and fleeting feeling of losing life’s purposes that I felt, “what will you do after this”, “Cool! Now what next?” .
“We are living in a culture entirely hypnotized by the illusion of time, in which the so-called present moment is felt as nothing but an infinitesimal hairline between an all-powerfully causative past and an absorbingly important future. We have no present.” Alan Watts
*3 Quotes to Live By:*
🔥 *1) "Don't compare yourself to someone else, compare yourself to your yesterday's self."*
🔥 *2) “You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending”*
🔥 *3) "Once you decide your lifes purpose, you will only have to pack one thing: "Your Heart."*
👍
This is an important message. I recently burnt out trying to chase my dreams. I’m still going to keep my dreams as a possibility, but it no longer is going to be the end all be all.
Your life should be fully balanced, not all-in on one thing. For some people, all-in may be a thing, but not everyone is built for that lifestyle.
one thing I can immediately do is spend less time on social media. your video about dopamine has already helped me with this