When to Break Off an Engagement and How to Do It
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ธ.ค. 2022
- Marriage is one of the most important decisions of your life. Marriage is not built to “solve all of your problems”-it exposes all of your problems. If you’re engaged and you’re having second thoughts-or you’re seeing red flags-how do you know if it’s time to break it off? And if it is time to break it off… how do you do it?
Jackie and Bobby have some experience here. Each of them had been engaged to other people before, and it did not come to fruition. It wasn’t easy. But in the end, they found each other. Today, Jackie and Bobby want to share their insights, give us a reality check, and help us find a way forward. “Better fourteen broken engagements than one broken marriage.”
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When she said the devil wants us to settle out of fear or loneliness, I cried . Mental abuse in a relationship is life sucking
But the devil also wants us to be alone
@@chrisobrien6254We are never alone so long as we have Christ. Loneliness can be found everywhere, no matter if you are single, married, or in the religious life. Many poor people feel isolation even in their marriage. That’s what the Devil wants: for you to despair despite seemingly having what you want.
Broke off my engagement before. I was devastated but It was because of it that I started my journey back to God (the best journey I ever did in my life). Fast forward a couple of years, I am now happily married, expecting a baby and most importantly, my wife and I try our best to put Jesus Christ at the center of it all.
How beautiful!!
Congratulations!
I got married to an abuser, womanizer to and a control freak when I was 17. The night before the wedding I went to a pay phone. Could not get in touch with anyone. I was crying, really did not want to marry him. Spent 20 years of misery. Biggest regret of my life. One of my daughters went through the same thing. Went through with it anyway. They're miserable, the kids are miserable. Listen to your heart!
Prayers do bring about miracles. Find a good Catholic organization that offer prayers and request prayers over your marriage, for yourself and over your children and their marriage. Pray over your "generational tree". Live the sacraments. I had tough trials in my family and marriage and prayers with FAITH, have definitely helped.
I broke off my engagement this year after an on and off relationship of 10 years. It was the hardest decision of my life and my heart is still hurting & I miss him but I know this was ultimately the right decision. Thank you so much for this video.
Why did you break it off. Was it for good reasons? If you’re heart hurts from it then that sounds like you loved him
It's not easy especially if you're the one who called it off. Ended my 7 year relationship with my fiancé yesterday, we're engaged for 2 years I love him so much he was an amazing guy but something doesn't feel right. It was really heartbreaking. I am hoping and praying that in God's perfect time he will find the time to forgive me. All the things that you said happened to me and I was at some point really asking myself, I feel like I am the most evil person on the planet right now for breaking his heart. I tried my best but I don't know the reason why I am not happy
That's a rather long relationship and engagement to not be married yet. It could be his feelings weren't as strong either and that's what didn't feel right to you.
Unfortunately, if you grew up in a family with a cycle of dysfunction you will feel comfortable with the wrong person. You'll also settle. I did this and I never even questioned if it was the right thing to do. Getting folks to that point of awareness is key. If you grew up around substance abuse and dysfunction it takes a lot sometimes to wake you up.
Thank you for making this video! I broke off my engagement this summer. I was not peaceful during the engagement, he was verbally and emotionally abusive, and I felt like I had to walk on eggshells when I was with him. I’m so peaceful now and grateful I did not end up marrying him. This topic needs to be addressed more, and you both did an excellent job talking about this. You two give me hope that God has someone better for me who will bring me joy and peace and make me feel home.
I’m really not trying to be mean, but I have to ask: why were you engaged to this man in the first place? Did he not show any of these behaviors beforehand?
He was very different when we were dating. It was easy to fall in love with him and there were many good things about the relationship. He changed after we got engaged. Because of the security of engagement, he was comfortable showing his true colors. He was successful at covering up these behaviors before we got engaged. He had two sides to his personality and over time I realized he was not the man I originally fell in love with. I felt a lot of confusion and heartbreak, but all I can do is learn from this and be wiser in the future.
@@marywonacott1354 you’re lucky you found out in engagement. People who are controlling will try to charm others and love bomb them. You got to the truth before the wedding!
So it was the man’s fault ok got it. U were perfect
You should've married him! Siroki-Brijeg and the saints justify EVERYTHING FOREVER!
Was in and on again off again situation-ship for four years. I tried to force myself to want to marry this man because he was a good man, and there was objectively nothing “wrong” with him, and he wanted to marry me. I simply couldn’t do it. It took my big brother and his wife sitting me down and asking me some very basic questions for me to realize it simply couldn’t be, even though we both wanted it to be, or thought we wanted it to be because it seemed like it should work out with us.
Then I met my now fiancée. I always say that I knew 11 minutes after our first date that he was the one. We started talking about marriage two months in, and are getting married in June of next year. I now know what it feels like to be in love and to receive such love.
beautiful story! thanks for sharing! 🥺
Get married! Why wait if you know it's right? Long engagements do nothing for a wrong relationship except make it harder to break off and they do nothing for right relationships because there is always the risk of falling to temptation which, trust me, will destroy you eventually even if you do marry.
@@Meira750 because you have to wait at least six months to be married in the Catholic Church. ☺️
Hope that man you were with but didn't love, found love too and is over it,
@@BastianHelena Really? Since when? That's a recipe for disaster. That's why I say, know for sure you're with the right one BEFORE you get engaged and then make it fast. Too much temptation the longer you wait while committed.
When I had my Catholic wedding, we didn't have to wait more than the 3 weeks when the banns were read. Is this the American Bishops decision or is it from Rome?
I broke off an engagement 3 years ago, he was abusive. Im glad I did it
Glad you got out of that! Prayers up for you.💜💕🙏🏼
👏👏👏 yesss!
So sorry you had to do that. I hope you're doing better today.
Why did you get engaged to an abusive man in the first place? Sounds like a lack of prudence
@@sneed3529 people dont show abusive side until later. sometimes its after you already fell in love. dont be quick to judge others.
Thank you for speaking on this! I dated my boyfriend for a few years and he was constantly pressuring me to get married. I always had doubt for many reasons. He had many mental health issues to work out before marriage and I felt like he never took it seriously enough. He felt like marriage and children would ‘fix’ all our problems. This past October I told him I couldn’t marry him. Well, the weekend after we broke up, he connected with another Catholic girl and got engaged weeks later 😂 I knew immediately God was looking out for me. I had never felt so reassured, and I pray for his fiancé now! 🙏
God brought me out of a bad engagement. Best thing that ever happened to me.
I wish I had heard this 30 years ago. My marriage was annulled and I am so happy that I can be reunited with the church but sometimes we make decisions for all the wrong reasons. I hope others can hear this advice and take it
Wrong reason’s as you now know are a running away from the painful true reason’s - and I’m not even in a relationship but it’s true in all aspects of life. Please watch the warning or illumination of conscience by Christine Watkins. Then Following Padre Pio. Then The Papacy can NOT be destroyed. Then Don’t call protestant’s Christian. Ask Jesus to transform all those years that were the wrong decision because past present and future are ONE with God. Give praise for those year’s and the Holy Spirit will use them and change them for your growth and his glory. God bless. Praise Jesus and Mary always!!!
What are the reasons your marriage ended?
Absolutely listen to this advice!!! Don't let the public and family pressure of the marriage prevent the right decision to break it off. Years of pain ESPECIALLY the impact on CHILDREN which can be a whole other lifetime of emotional distress for them is a horrible price to pay .
Marriage is very, very hard. Kids and spouses really make problems *bigger* not smaller. Making sure that you've *logically* thought through what is going to make the *best* spouse for you and your future children is so, so important.
I was with someone for 3 years, he had plans to get married he decided to move to another state, and leave me just like that, i asked why didn’t you propose before leaving so we can move on with our future, and he said he was gonna do it in the new state. There is a reason why he is leaving, and there is a reason why he never proposed to me. God has a plan for me, i trust in God ❤ although i am destroyed now 😢 i wasn’t able to talk to him for fear of him getting mad at, and he also sucked the life out of me. So yes there is a reason why we will not be together anymore. Great video! ❤❤❤
I've never been engaged. I can't imagine myself ever having a sense of "just knowing", or having a sense of peace about preparing to be married. It's just so terrifying.
My mother told me, at the end you're the one who has wake up with him every day. 7 broken engagements was best for me and I'm sure for their happy wives too!
hey.. just got my engagement broken. it really hurts but i’m glad he loved me enough to do it. i really hope i heal quickly.
My fiancé and I were having conflicts - many arguments, mean words were said to each other, and lots of anger.
Our scheduled wedding was 3.5 months away and we decided to postpone the wedding. It simply felt like it was too much to move forward with. We instead focused on Couples counseling to help rebuild confidence and love in our relationship, especially before making a lifelong commitment.
It was hard and we lost a lot of money. The deposit for the reception and the honeymoon, but deep down we knew we needed to work on our relationship.
Looking back it was the best decision and we are now getting married this Christmas.
Better to get married THEN rather than 'NOW'!
Following my broken engagement, my dad shared this with me🙏
God answers your prayers in one of three ways:
"Yes"
"Not yet"
"I've got something better in mind"
Be patient and trust in His perfect will!
Great video. I happen to be a man who’s had to break off relationships before but has happened to me too. Doesn’t matter what gender is of the person breaking off the engagement- it’s an exercise of free will. And it’s good to exercise decision making which lead to your best interests. If the other person breaks it off and is the one who believes it’s not in their best interests, you/I can move forward by trusting God that He will use that past relationship for His good and your good, even if you can’t see it right now. No point speculating whose fault it is and how this is affecting society. Focus on what it means for your life. God Bless you everyone- stay with your eyes fixed on God and not yourself. Stay pure and devoted to keeping your thought life focused on what is right, good, pure, honourable, noble, and lovely. Trust God with me that He has the best spouse for us. Prayers for you 🙏
I just broke up with my fiancée as I had no peace. I was 4 months away from the wedding day. He love bombed me and would not learn my heart. Please spend daily holy hours and ask Jesus to give you wisdom . I did and wow our Lord showed me ! I wait for God to bring me His man. I wait upon the Lord! Amen! Do not settle !!!!
The general anxiety piece was new and great information to hear. I thought I was going crazy when I had to end my relationship and grieved for a very long time. I doubted my decision so I thank you both. Thank you Bobby for sharing you father’s pov.
I would like to have somebody to tell me 'you are not happy'. I feel so alone in this, I pray about it so much but still feel powerless to change this situation and be this person myself. Please pray for me...
Sounds like you are that person to tell you you're not happy. please care for yourself.
Get dressed, go outside, smile, meet new people, come home. Repeat. You're someone's Ms Right, I promise. It can be crushing when it seems nothing changes and no-one chooses you, but you don't have to be right for everyone, just your one. 😁😁💗 Have faith. True love is worth it 💗
"I am not late, says the Lord. Everything is moving. Do not say I have forgotten you'
@@KittyM- thank you ❤
@@dotka95 💗
Funny enough, this video also is an encouraging one for those whose relationships are discerning and are hitting the right notes! Thanks for it!
I'm so happy to see you addressing this, thank you! I truly don't think we have enough dating/engagement guidance in The Church.
I laughed when Jackie was talking about “prayer blocking” 🤣 Bobby was like “so true, but I’m gonna attempt a straight face” 😂
What does prayer blocking mean?
Seems so arrogant to me unless you know both parties very well or there are obvious red flags
Whew! I'm glad you brought up the distinction between having anxiety about the *situation* and not the person you're going to be marrying. This was good for me to hear. I'm recently engaged with a wonderful man and both of us are excited, albeit stressed with all the planning! Sometimes the planning seems to eat the joy out of it all, and we're trying our best to slow it down and enjoy this season of our lives! I've felt deep peace and "at home" with the man I'm engaged to marry the moment I met him. But, in recent months have experienced a lot of anxiety because of fear and knowing my life is going to be changing a lot in the upcoming years! I'm excited to start my life with him, but also know with that comes a lot of trust and surrendering to God my emotions in the process. God bless you Jackie and Bobby for your inspiring words.
You're right, it's going to change a lot!! And change is painful, unfortunately. But you will be in it together. 💗 Wishing you both every happiness 💗
@@KittyM- thank you very much!❤
@@abigailkatherinerose8625 💕
I’m engaged but what makes me feel sad is that he will his family steps ( being in medical field) he wants to be a doctor and the men in his family don’t go home to their partner each night, they go weeks without seeing them and don’t get enough time, atm i feel frustrated about not seeing him much because of med school but at the same time i understand…though i can’t imagine once he’s working…he promised me that no matter what he’ll make sure to never miss a night with coming home to me and rest together
Pray and discern sister. Ask God to help you see if this relationship is prudent long-term. Expectations determine happiness, know your non-negotiables and limitations.
This is so good! Thanks Jackie and Bobby! This gives a lot of confirmation to a decision I made to end a relationship this past year that was causing a boat load of anxiety, stress, and pain. Sometimes it's so easy to second guess your gut feeling and ignore the red flags in a relationship, but after my experience I think it would be better to risk being single and full of peace... instead of being married and miserable. Be honest with yourself, hold on to hope and trust in God all you singles out there!
Newly single here, trying to get through this pain and heart break. 😢
😥Its kinda an understament to say breakups are never easy, but Romans 8:28 is a good reminder to me. God will work all things for the good of those who love him...even the bad decisions or bad experiences we have to go through. Sometimes breakups are an invitation to lean into his loveing embrace even more and trusthim more deeply.
Thank you i needed that ❤
Just broke off last month. I was trying to push something that wouldn't have worked just because I was tired of searching.Because the society in general pushed PPL to set "realistic' standards and not "nitpick", I just wanted to "adjust". But that's not the Christian view. Marriage is not something that should be pushed.
So true! Honestly, we put so much pressure on our selves to go for second best out of fear and doubt. Christ wants us to experience his great love in a tangible way through the person we hope to marry....anything less is settling.
“Lord let your will be done but wink wink” 😂 hope my friends are doing this for me
Thank you this was timely. 🙏
This is such an important video. Thank you so much
Probably the best video you 2 have ever done
Love the advice and channel! Blessed Advent season 🤗❤
Amazing video. I love the vulnerability and honesty that you two share. It’s a breath of fresh air and a weight lifted off to hear someone talk about really raw and challenging stuff.
Haha they called me out! Gonna send this video out asap 😂 Thank God for your advice guys!
I needed this.
A very common problem these days is that sooo many people are simply too selfish to get married. What I mean is that their main focus on getting married is the betterment of themselves instead of their other half, so they want to get married for nearly all selfish reasons. That simply cannot work in a healthy, loving marriage. This also cannot work when it comes to raising children. So many people are so self-absorbed that they don't care enough to sacrifice their time and effort to raise a loving family. Please prayfully consider these things BEFORE getting married.
Thank you.
Thanks you saved my life 💕
I love my partner so much, but I have anxiety on continuing because we don't want the same things in life like children, wanting to live elsewhere, etc. I feel scared.♡
Hello,
I am just a random dude on the internet...
But I'd say the children thing is a big deal. As Catholics we are called to be open to life with our spouse (no contraception) so really how many children you have is up to God. If your boyfriend/girlfriend isn't open to life or isn't excited about children period that's a big red flag.
The living somewhere else depends, I'd say while you should be on the same page about most big decisions, as you prepare to be a married couple you need to prepare to either accept the headship of your soon to be husband or be confident and competent in leading your soon to be wife. If either leading/following your wife/husband respectfully seems impossible, that's probably another red flag.
God bless and know that HE is with you! (PS: Check out the surrender novena)
Such a good message!
There are also so many amazing marriages that are not 'young', who have gone through the trials, and have at this season of their life are truly blessed with what God is asking of them at this time. :-)
Starts to think I should break the engagement. I’m a woman two days ago he asked me to help with something. I told him no because it’s not as easy as he things it is. I only say no and he just walks up and goes. Comes back moments later asked one more time. I say no again and want to explain myself this time. Again he walks away. He now ignores me. We live in the same house. That same night I came out of bed to talk about it. He was on his phone only said he was disappointed in me.
I now told him or we fix this or we break up. I’m 24 he’s 35. Don’t think that’s an issue. The issue is that he cannot communicate at all. In my opinion communication is key in any relationship. I worked so hard to make thing work. But I’m tired.
I asked my fiancée to marry me in November 2022 with the intention of waiting until she graduates from school. Now its been nearly a year since the engagement and she graduated in May..nothing has been done and she continues to push things off. Her mom hates me, despite everyone else loving me, and is constantly in her ear telling her what to think and how to do things. I cant take it anymore and im about to end things. Im completely miserable as I truly love and want to be with her and I don’t want to hurt her. But i see no way in which this actually ends in us getting married as her mom doesn’t want it to happen and keep convincing her to wait
Update?
Jackie and Bobby really arent playing around
I got married w all the red flags…..difficult 20 yr marriage……. what now?
Learn about St. Monica and try your hardest every day to do what she did in her marriage!! You can’t change the past but have the ability to have a better future! I wish the very best for you and your husband! May God always bless you!
What if you felt home, and at peace earlier on, fulfilling and enriching, and then things started going south?
thats a big question..
might be one to ask a spiritual director or maybe if you include more context..
also don't take advice from just anyone. that can be a big mistake.
trust your gut & if you need more help, start meeting with a spiritual director at your church.
I think it all depends on your communication. This is something I had to learn with my husband. When you try to talk does he get angry? Do you guys genuinely want what is best for each other? Are you willing to compromise even when you think you’re right? Is there abuse of any kind? Asking those types of questions with yourself will help you decide if you have hope going forward. For me and my husband both, it took us time to learn to work with each other. After the honeymoon phase things get very real and that’s when you learn the most about each other. If all you’re learning is “I can’t stand to be around this person and I’m annoyed all the time” then I say it’s time to make the hard decision to leave. But if you think “I care so much about this person so I’m willing to go thru this uncomfortable time in our relationship” then there is hope there. Communication isn’t always going to go smoothly but does it ever get vicious? I think that’s the key question. Everyone has flaws. Any relationship will need work. Is that work worth it- that’s what’s #1
@@Ch3lRae yes!! you typed the words i was thinking as well. this is so important.
@@aleahp98 Thank you for this.
@@Ch3lRae The circumstance around meeting this person drew me closer to my faith. You really made very strong points, I really appreciate you.
Love the icons behind you.
You can't divorce family or children, so be careful when you choose a person you can divorce.
This is good
Watching this made me more sure this is the girl I want to marry
My fiancé broke off our engagement on a my birthday while we were on vacation in the US.
I had a girlfriend who is not perfect and not my ideal girl, has many flaws, and even lied to me. Our start was not euphoric madly in love. But when we put God on the centre of our relationship, things go smooth, and we are emotionally healed. We are now euphoric madly in love, not as usual as others that they feel it in the start. I'm planning this 2024 to propose to her. She was not a Catholic, but coming from her without even convincing, she would convert to Catholic before marriage.
Moral lesson: However rough it is, God's guidance will heal and fix your relationship. If God is in the center, everything good will follow and lead you to true love. This should not complicate things by looking into signs, bad or good. If you put God in the center of a relationship, that is the best sign to proceed to marriage.
Greetings Mr. and Mrs. Angel,
Thanks for the Thoughtful and Helpful Insights about Addressing The Compatibility and Competency through Holy Spirit Guidance during Engagement prior to Holymarriage in all aspects.
For Kind Concern :
Through Three Letters of Holy Marriage Announcement during Sunday HolyMass, Parish Priest with Cathechist seeks Response for Clarification with Acceptance from Parishioners in every aspects in The Church.
With regards with Prayers for Everyone,
RanjithJoseph (R.J)
I wish this would’ve been available last week when I was trying to help my bff whose currently engaged
God is an undeserved gift. God’s Providence has allowed it to be available now 🤝
Can still send it now!
Amen.
What if you feel both. Not safe but can be myself with them?
Yes, I felt like I was walking on egg shells …he was a covert narc … very religious one too😢
Jesus showed me his heart .
What if your already married and have these problems? And tried all options.
How do you encourage someone who's nearing 40 and so desperate for a relationship that they've lowered the bar about as low as it can go and have dug in their heels and I vested too much time and energy and even money into someone who seems the furthest from God's choice for the person? There have been many Divine Intervention moments over the course of the relationship, but they are being ignored by the person. Prayer is not seemingly being answered and it's causing other important relationships to become strained and on the verge of permanently damaged. (Prayers appreciated for the individual to submit to God's Will and walk away before the damage is worse and irreversible.)
Tough call but God's will.
I have a child from a guy I hardly knew but everything was great at first kinda. I'm not a psychic and I was inlove. Anyways, at one point I was really considering getting back to my Catholic faith and he was baptized as a Catholic but then his family switched to being Mormons but he wasn't a practicing one. I wasn't a practicing Catholic either clearly. Well at one point we got engaged and he took Rcia with me and we both got our sacraments and everything seemed fine... something didn't sit right with me as I noticed he was treating me differently and would work late. Turns out he was cheating on me. Physically and emotionally with different women. I broke that engagement off. Cause there was no way I could be married in the church and be with someone who treated me like trash. Not only that I thought he treated our engagement as joke and also receiving our sacraments and rcia as a joke. So anyways, not getting married to him was the Best decision of my life. Even tho, I'm Single mom now and I struggle but at least. I'm not struggling like that anymore. Also I'm very serious about my faith now and this wouldn't have happened since he was holding me back
I really wish people took marriage and relationships more seriously. I wish people would not have children just because they can. I am happily single and will remain so.
How do you view arranged marriages? My grandparents' marriages were arranged by third parties, within the Christian framework of Roman Catholicism and Greek Orthodox.
My grandparents (both sets) did not have the freedom of choice of spouse.
The marriage of St Joseph and St Mary was an arranged marriage, wasn't it? Both fiance's involved were truly faithful, God fearing, God loving, truly humble Hebrews. St Joseph sets of values lined up perfectly with holy Virgin Mary's sets of values... the key here is, St Joseph and St Mary never made excuses to satisfy themselves to the exclusion of the other spouse. That's what's wrong with all marriages that are full of pain and are in danger of crumbling - they don't live by the word of God. " if anyone wishes to come after me, then let him Deny Himself, take up his cross, and follow me." The gratitude that welled-up inside the heart of St Joseph explicitly toward God for giving him Saint Mary as a gift, never ever dissipated. Everyday of his life, St Joseph had the kind of heart that would give YHWH explicit praise for the gift of Mary. Likewise, everyday of her life, Holy Virgin Mary Mother of God, had the kind of heart that would give YHWH explicit praise for the gift of Joseph.
Even modern Catholic and Orthodox couples don't do this like the Holy Family.
I wonder about this too. For a valid marriage, it can't be coerced or forced. Not saying that every arranged marriage necessarily excludes the free will of the bride and groom, but it doesn't seem to be a good fit generally for an authentic natural or sacramental marriage...
@@matthewvelazquez2013 , well said.
@@SS-wt7kc arranged marriage is more common than you think and it is not “coerced marriage” if both parties agree to have their marriage arranged. Think about it also in terms of marriage in the West- is it not also “coerced” if people feel the need/coercion to get married because of “strong feelings” for each other, but objectively speaking it is a bad idea?
@@RileySoares Yes, I agree with the first part of your statement. I do not think arranged marriages are always coerced, but they can be. Perhaps in some cultures historically, they were coerced (like St.Rita who wanted to be a nun but was forced to marry at 12 by her parents). I think that kind of thing still goes on today in some parts of the world too.
It's also possible for coerced weddings in other systems too (like a 'shot gun' wedding for example). That said, I don't agree that a person's feelings of infatuation or love would count as coercion.
Do you have dating videos ? Should teens date ?
How to break up with a girl who is very emotional? It would be unexpected because she doesn't expect to hear this. Does anyone have any idea?
Take a shot for every time Jackie interrupts and/or talks over Bobby.
This isn’t necessarily true. Fr. Ripperger says that oftentimes your partner is meant to make you more holy and actually may do things that annoy you a lot, they have the flaws that help you both come closer to Him
Well said. Unfortunately, an unintended consequence of videos like this will be Catholic men and women looking for a perfect person when no such thing exists. Catholic dating is bad enough.
Agreed! I don’t think people should listen to these two unless they’re in a very unhealthy or abusive relationship. I think that if you love someone you love someone. If you can love someone despite the fact that there are things about them that annoy you then I think that’s a great credit to your ability to love them. If a man loves his wife even if there’s things about her that he’d prefer we’re different or better than I think that’s great! It’s a testament to how strong his love is. I think love helps us see past those imperfections. After all Beauty loved the Beast even though he was hideous. I know it’s a fairy tale but still it’s a good lesson 🤷♂️.
@@sneed3529 Right! Or people in otherwise good and healthy relationships will hear this advice and become so paranoid that they themselves might be in the “wrong relationship” that they start second guessing their feelings and/or quality of their relationship, thus developing obsessive anxiety that leads them to walk away from the relationship out of fear. Anxiety can easily talk us out of doing otherwise good, being that fear lies. They may say to themselves es well if I really do love you then I wouldn’t be having these doubts 😒. Its a classic example of how fear ruins even good relationships if people let it. And sometimes all it takes is the power of suggestion. Unfortunately this couple lacks the prudence or intelligence to realize that, or perhaps they just don’t care 🤷♂️.
@@chrisobrien6254 It really just enforces my opinion that lay people should not be giving advice in grave matters such as these to potentially millions of Catholics. To me, it's as absurd as having lay people as vocational directors for the diocesan priesthood or a religious order. Priests have much more experience in preparing couples for marriage, counseling couples, and hearing confessions. Never mind their minimum of 6 years of education in philosophy and theology. After so many confessions, a priest probably has a very good idea of what plagues the average married Catholic and can thus give advice to other couples based on those hundreds of confessions he has probably heard. Do we really believe that Catholic couples are saying the same stuff they say in the inviolable Sacrament of Confession to Jackie and Bobby? Come on.
Never mind the advice itself is just objectively bad. Yeah, don't get married to a man beating the brakes off of you. However, you're marrying another fallen human, so don't expect that they won't do things that annoy you. Or, maybe you have your own bad tendencies that need correction. That's how it should work. Instead, videos like this will simply make people have scruples, or, worse, assume the worst in their partner when their flaws surface. It could even give people the idea that they don't at all have to change their behavior once they're married, and that any call to do so is just "controlling," as is the new buzzword thrown around by people who don't like being able to do whatever they want.
@@sneed3529 Extremely well said!! 👍🏻👍🏻
I’m not excited at all about my gf wanting to marry.
I’m “ok” with it as long it’s low key.
She can’t stop pushing a ceremony.
Is this enough to just quit?
Just went to look at rings.
Now she needs to push me again wanting her ceremony.
I’m not doing it.
If someone had told me 20 years ago…..
9:14 Red flags
Please pray for me, as my ex is engaged and as I want to.get back with her.
I'm going to.pursue her, yes.
Please pray also for her to see through the heresies in her life, such as reformed theology,/Calvinism, "once saved, always saved", etc..
Hows the difference when you have a baby that’s on the way? How does this look? What should I do? I feel all those red flags and all those emotions. I don’t think is right to break off, I don’t want to leave my child that is on the way but I don’t think I should marry this person. Pray for me
doesn't matter, you will still and always be a parent but you have to think what is best for you and if you're not happy in the relationship it's only going to get worse and more resentful
Getting married to someone just because you have a baby is not healthy. Don’t ever bind yourself to someone just to save the peace because you’re only going to hurt yourself in the long run. Not only that, but if there’s red flags now your children will definitely pick up on it and itll hurt them. The way it sounds, you’re already wanting out. That’s definitely a sign to leave the relationship. You’ll always be a part of your child’s life depending on how much effort you put into him or her. Definitely pray about it!❤️ I hope this didn’t come off mean in any way just trying to help! Definitely sit in prayer with the lord❤️❤️❤️❤️
How can I give advice to my best friend who may be engaged to the wrong person?
Pray. Then when you talk to them next, ask unbiased questions, don’t project your opinion. They need to decide for themselves whether the relationship is good for them or not
6:14
People aren’t perfect guys. Ladies don’t hang men because they’re broken. Men don’t hang ladies because they have wounds from fathers/past bfs. This is just a bad take. Get married and work on eachother together. Smh this ain’t it
Well said. Catholic dating is bad enough, and videos like these are only going to further encourage Catholics to look for perfect people (read: people that don’t exist) to marry. Worse; many engaged couples that would otherwise be just fine in marriage may get overly scrupulous about their engagement
@@sneed3529 yes thank you I agree. This is just going to foment scrupulosity even further
Likewise. Im praying for my catholic friend who is engaged to a muslim woman. Pls pray for him, his name is Kim
hope you're praying for the muslim woman too because love is love and religion doesn't matter.
Wow there’s a thing about prayer blocking ????
There is no "one" God is calling you to marry. If they're catholic and virtuous, and you like them, go for them. Life isnt a Disney movie.
Exactly!
Breaking off an engagement 6 weeks before a wedding is horrible. What could you have done differently as to not have caused such devastation. When did you first know she was not the one? Why did you wait so long. 😢
Better than filing for divorce 6 weeks after the wedding
There is no “The One”
❤️
Thank you for prayer blocking ( wink wink )❤
Run…. Run away…..
I recommend God’s Plan for Love from Ascension press.
Keep walking, with feet on the ground.
Wish there were quotes from catechism and scripture being shared through this video to confirm what is being said. This feel a bit off, honestly. Tossing away good because they're not perfect seems wreckless.
What to do with the diamond ring, though. As beautiful as the dream I had. Or delusion.
Going through a divorce now after 6 years of marriage. Seeking an annulment. She as with 80% of divorces are initiated by the wife. We grew spiritually a part. I converted to Catholicism and love it, she not so much. Also since a blended family from a previous marriage (I was widowed) this has been a cross to bare. Men, choose wisely and have a contract to protect your assets if going in. No fault divorce is all too easy. Keep Christ central and if you do decide to get married, know the risks.
I just wanted to let you know it is not permissible in the Catholic Church to use Pre-Nups unless you are using them to protect certain assets for children from a prior marriage as it shows a lack of commitment.
Using a pre nup invalidates the marriage, i.e. the marriage doesn't exist.
@Louisa I don't think you are correct on that. Especially if money is involved. If she cheats (slightly more likely) he gets screwed out of half. Alimony and child support. Marriage is broken and women and the courts are to blame. Sad.
@@KeiPyn24 feel free to research it yourself, but it is in fact the Catholic church's official teaching. As i said the only exception is when protecting inheritances for children from a former marriage.
@@101Sailorfan Meeting with my priest this week. I'll ask.
third
Yeah, this video is about 20 years too late.
It is very arrogant to say you prayer block, someone. That is not your place in any form or fashion. You may be right in that those people shouldn't be together but you are not God. Simply pray for God's will end of story. If it isn't His will for them to be together then you'd be praying for God's will. Come off the self righteous horse
I don't like message. we currently have an epidemic of singleness in America. To many young people are narcissistically insistent on finding the "right" person. Unfortunately, the probability that we actually know what is good for us is exceedingly love. God calls us to sacrifice and marriage is just that.
Devil wants you to settle
First B-)
lol
😅
Blondie is a home wrecker. This is a BAD message for men. Men don’t know what they want they’re easily swayed! Men need the validation of their community in knowing if their partner is right. This message is all wrong, it’s not for the church to EVER cast an opinion or aversion on another. Also on this matter, many people CANT be who they want to be. It’s called growing up it’s life and a part of that is men not going out every weekend and being their selves anymore. There’s responsibilities of being a husband and father. This message is really bad I feel sorry for the guy he’s been conned out of a happy life story
Wait until you're at least 35 to get married is the best advice i've ever heard. and also there is nothing wrong with staying single.
Easily the worst advice in this comments section
@@sneed3529 *best advice. fixed.
It depends on the individual. That blanket “wait until 35” doesn’t work for everyone.
Really the school of life gives better advice than this. The problem is church culture never talks about the practical questions that should be about during dating. Just these stupid boundary talks.
The holy spirit is not supernatural. The holy spirit is nature itself.
The Holy Spirit is God and the 3rd Divine Person in the Blessed Trinity
@@wms72 Yes. Does not mean the holy spirit is supernatural. God created nature and all of us. Therefore, His spirit is within us all. To say the holy spirit is beyond nature is contradictory, since nature is God's creation and the holy spirit is God.
You fundamentally misunderstand the basics of the Holy Trinity. You do not know what you are saying...
Again, you do not know what you are saying...
@@matthewvelazquez2013 You know, I do know what I am saying, and I actually said it. On the other hand, you have said nothing. Care to explain?
@@KuhEssen yes, you didn't lookup the definition of the word Supernatural. Had you looked it up before you used it, then you wouldn't have used Supernatural incorrectly as you did here.