As a child with divorced parents - WAIT. So much hurt came from that divorce, but I also learned the value of truly finding the right person. Being a happy single person is an excellent point. Too many young people think relationships will solve all their problems and they are really in for a rude awakening when they realize all of the problems they’ve never addressed will come to the surface in a relationship. Create a solid ground for yourself. When you’re creating a relationship of intimacy with Jesus, you are actively headed in the right direction. Too often people seek satisfaction in other people.
@@barbaradelpino4020 in marriage, a huge part of making it work is stretching yourself. This idea that you just find someone who perfectly fits you is bogus. I'm glad my parents didn't scour The Earth for decades looking for "The One" because then me and my six siblings and all of our children wouldn't exist. I'm grateful that my parents actually just stayed committed to their vows.
@@DavidMatias79 Not arguing your point- but marriage will be much more challenging if you find someone whom you don't have much in common with, or whom you don't even feel confident with (basically uncomfortable with) just because 'it's time to get married'... you can find someone that you don't have to stretch yourself with too much, is my point. It's really in the middle: I've never believed in many Romeo and Juliet scenarios, and never actually believed in 'The One', but as my father always told me - make sure you end up with someone who has your back, and that you feel comfortable with - marriage is hard even when you are crazy in love. My parents came from very different backgrounds and went through so much to be together, 50 years of marriage - I knew there were difficult times, but there was lots of peace, joy, and fun growing up; wouldn't change that for anything ❤
I almost got married this year. I didnt have the strength to end our relationship, but he did, and I thank God everyday for that. I know my ex wasnt the man God wants me to marry and I will wait as long as I have to to marry the right man. Thank you for you're wisdom and being out there helping people like me!
What an awesome show this was. I got married at age 41 and I am so blessed to have waited and trusted in the verse God gave me as I waited: “If you are willing and obedient you will eat the best of the land.”
Not all who want to marry young manages to make that happen with someone whom is a good match in terms of compatibility and having tender feelings. Bring firm and knowing it’s a good choice In those regards. No need to force yourself to get married just bc. Why can’t you focus on a career and date? That’s a trope. I’ve seen so many Catholic / devout women who did marry later even tho they were good and open (and prudent and wanting it to be right of course) It’s just not that simple…. And it’s good to be willing to never marry if that is the will of God. Be willing to die to our own desires, pick up our cross and continue in obedience.
I have a friend who is 35 years old , he was engaged in 2019 and was supposed to get married the following year but his fiancé died tragically before the wedding. In 2022 he fell in love again and was supposed to marry another woman but he called off the marriage because he did not feel that she was the one for him. I pray that he finds the person that god has prepared for him to be his future wife.
AMEN so awesome thank you for sharing Jackie! Some of the key takeaways :) 1) grasping because you are lonely or afraid is not the reason to get married 2) it is better to be happy and single in Jesus than be married and miserable 3) marriage is supposed to be a foretaste of heaven but it can be a foretaste of hell if you marry the wrong person 4) it is better to break off an engagement than to get married and be miserable and divorce 5) marriage does not solve problems, it amplifies underlying wounds 6) it is ok to wait for the right person! 7) do not idolize marriage - the person is not your saviour, is not your counsellor and is not meant to be the solution
I was engaged once. It never made it to the altar. It was not a failed engagement. There is no such thing as a failed engagement unless it precedes a failed marriage.
Certainly doesn’t sound like a very successful engagement either 😅. If divorce indicates a failed marriage then why wouldn’t a broken engagement indicate a failed relationship?
@@chrisobrien6254the only "relationship" that really counts is the person you marry. Past relationships may have touched you but the point of dating is to figure out if you'll marry them, if not, that becomes part of your past life. Your present and future with your spouse is what really counts, not a boyfriend or girlfriend from the past.
@@chrisobrien6254 The success is that the relationship ended and a disastrous marriage was averted. Why be so negative? It's a good thing that a bad marriage was avoided.
@@Himmiefan I mean I suppose you could look at it that sort of optimistic way, but would you then also contend that a divorce could be a win or a success in some cases because it prevented further damage in a relationship? Or was the divorce the result of a failure? I just fail to see how a breakup is a success story. If it’s is then it’s in a very awkwardly indirect way 😂 when is the last time you were congratulated for breaking up with someone?
@@chrisobrien6254People are congratulated for breaking up all the time. I congratulated my sister for breaking up with her boyfriend when it became obvious to her that after four years, he was still "not ready" to get married
I walked away from porn 17 years ago as a single man. I'm sure it would have ruined a marriage. I too used to believe that marriage would solve my porn habit.
I can say with confidence that I married the right person. A few things I would say that has made that possible. -We both were happy being single. -We saw each other as a way to add to our happiness, not be the source of it. -Neither of us had bad habits: excessive drinking, doing drugs, etc -We had the same understanding that sex would have to wait until marriage -We saw eye to eye on our desire for children, our life goals, etc. -God would be the center of and guide our relationship. Interestingly, sociology says a group of 3 is better than a group of 2 - We were upfront about our past relationships and habits so there were no surprises later -We said that divorce is not option for us so we will have to communicate and work through whatever issues may arise
@SJ-up9zqIf you have people that you trust and give you good council, I’d ask them to be upfront with their concerns. Ultimately, it’s a decision that you have to make. I’d pray about it yourself and I’d also include prayer together. If the person you’re dating is bearing good fruit and the relationship between you two is as well, I wouldn’t worry too much.
It's definitely easy for me as a single 32 yo woman to think, "Easy for her to say, she met someone and got married at 28." Having said that though, I would truly rather stay unmarried and childless my whole life than to ever get a divorce.
I had ZERO warning of what I would face after I married. Not a single trusted person cautioned me against our union. That said, it's for my children that I pressed on to break the cycle of divorce. Sometimes I questioned if it was better for our children for us to stay married but I know if we divorced they would have different wounds. It's not always preventable although I agree sometimes it's obvious and people refuse to face they shouldn't marry the person.
My sister endured an abusive marriage, she hid it, it was truly horrible for her. But her two children are wonderful and their children these days have granny happy from ear to ear. In hindsight she's definitely glad she toughed it out. She took the wounds and my respect and admiration for her moral courage is boundless. The vine was stressed but it bore good fruit. She waited until the youngest was 18yo before she divorced him. But not everyone can do that.
@@sitka49 - perhaps when I was younger I was more judgemental. Now I appreciate everything depends on the immediate circumstances, while courage is finite & very YMMV.... Most people try to make it work in good faith. Marital fighting is a bit different to straight out abuse, both can be viscious. My sister is physically slight, was always meek and feminine by nature and never argued and certainly 'never stood up for herself by fighting - and she still copped heavy emotional and nasty physical abuse (which she hid from us for many years). The situation was intolerable for sure and definitely left her with deep wounds and an inability to deal with difficult situations, she folds easy as with PTSD 'victims'. Her sweet natured adult children appreciate her sacrifice I'm sure, but are not fully aware and not able to encompass just how vile it was. Now it's better to look happily forward to the little babies of newness coming forth (another has arrived has just last week, so it's very fresh in our hearts 💕 :)
@@sitka49 - yeah he's well out of it these days actually for over 10 years now....on the surface level, you just never know what some people have been through....sis really did her duty.....
@@sitka49 I wouldnt say our marriage is bad now. We have come a long way, although still have things to work on (don't we all). I *hope* they remember how hard we worked to keep our family together despite ways we failed them.
Late to the game here - just wanted to add that pressure to "marry before you're 30!" is real for Christian gals...and thus I've watched so many settle instead of waiting.
This video gives me so much hope! Jackie, i loved how you had the confidence from God that your particular generational spirit/trauma stops with you! Amen. I believe that God can provide a husband who is striving for holiness for me if that is His Will, but i am so fearful that i will be duped and live the same things many of my family members have suffered. All for the Glory of God , right 😅 Thank you for providing hope and truth Matt and Jackie!
Very deep points Jackie points out. I totally agree with her it's better to be single and happy rather than married and miserable. I have family members who experienced divorce and some multiple divorces. Most of them involves kids too. And my family members whose parents divorced, it even affects their parenting style with their own kids. Some don't know their grandparents cuz of divorce. Thank you for this video.
My parents divorced when I was young, my mother never warned me about how important marriage and sex are…. Never taught me how special both are. I had an abusive marriage and my mother convinced me to stay and just eat the abuse. Dealing with a failing abusive wife and trauma from 2 wars as a soldier was overwhelming….. I got out finally and was changed completely, I’ve since met a wonderful woman (my wife and mother to my 5 kids) and had to cut off my mother
It baffles me that we keep seeing these videos about marrying the 'right person', like Catholics have a wide array of people to choose from. In reality the pool is incredibly shallow, no young people at church (no, not even at the Latin mass)
Yup it’s an issue, but look at it as a cross to bear. Its difficult and painful, but whenever it reaches its culmination(i.e.marriage) the sacrifices will be worth it. Keep your head up and search! I am at a parish with nobody my age, and so I need to drive around and find parishes with people my age who are devout. Modern problems require modern solutions y’know. There were times in the past when being catholic was illegal(England pre-enlightenment, France during and after the enlightenment). Yet we’re here standing, meaning our ancestors found someone. So keep your head up! Ultimately leave it up to God, because our lives follow His plans. Pax Vobiscum!
I agree with her about marrying the right person. That is 100% essential. Thr problem for me is that "the right person" for me is a young Catholic woman from the 1940s teleported to 2022 and not exposed to modernity. So I am basically SOL.
The 1940's were not a Holy Wonderland. Nor the 1920's or 1890's or any other era you want to name. They all had their warts. But again, you've said you attend Catholic events and you have to beat the women off with a stick. Right?
@@ThatOneFam My issue is that many are orthodox and religious but are not interested in following the way of perfection and practicing the beautitudes. It seems to be a religious trend filled with pride instead of fully following the Gospel. It really thins out the already thin remnant. People need to read the doctors of the Church and realize going to a more reverent Mass is not the credits roll in becoming holy. We need more women who embrace the cross and love God and neighbor, not just coddled would be mothers who want to settle down and want the image of family. Not all TLM people have this issue, but many do.
Amen ! Praise God for this video. Waiting is the answer. God will show you the right person to marry when one is patient and willing to wait on the Lord.
I was told - by a priest- arranged marriages can be as successful as any.I’ve been married for 53 years, only 22 when we tied the knot, it’s a good life if you can make it work - be unselfish and invite god into your life 🙏
This is an amazing point, but I would argue that in some cases people take this too far. Especially in my smaller, more insular catholic community, I know many people (especially women) that have unreasonably high standards for men. Obviously you should never settle and marry a person that doesn't suit you, but you also have to find a balance between the two.
The best thing to do is to wait on the most high, he will bring the right person and don’t compare yourself to others who are getting married or in relationships and about to get married, everything will happen when it’s God’s time and the right time, marriage is not something to rush into, stay calm and wait, the right person will be there for you every time, and you will enjoy it till eternity
6:20 This is more than a little trite, but it's still kind of true - there's a big problem with this saying, though. If you're unhappy when you're _lonely_ that's healthy. "It is not good for man to be alone" - even in a perfect creation. How much more in a fallen world? When people say this - I've heard it over and over again - it always comes across to me as something horribly out-of-touch and inconsiderate, but I don't think it's intended that way. You should make sure to treat singleness and loneliness as different problems, because they *are* different problems and most of the sins that live downstream result from confusing the two. Sex addicts never feel less lonely with a new partner. Porn users never feel less lonely when they find something particularly appealing. And married people can still be lonely even when they have a "happy" marriage. I'm unhappy right now at a time when I happen to be single, and it's because I'm missing something critical that I need. It's not a moral failing or a sign that I'd be an unstable partner for someone (this is about the point where I would go into a rant about how modern social engineering as a result of industrialization is to blame for all of this, but it isn't really appropriate here).
You’re right. Marriage is normative for most. Unless you’re called to the priesthood, singleness should be seen as a trial. The heart of most men desires a woman/spouse. that is a holy desire
You're a thoughtful man. There are good women out there. Maybe not that many, but they are not the attention seeking types, we see on Pearl's channel. Women that have always had a close loving relationship with their father and very low body count, IMO, should only be the ones to get on your short list. Maybe you'll never marry, that is still better than wedlock to someone that turns into a praying mantis. 💥💫💛
Being single isnt a burden. It's a blessing. I'm single and plan to be that way, yet I've discerned out of the priesthood. I don't intend, nor do I ever, plan to get married or have children, and I'm content and actually happy with that.
@@Thundah_Dome God very clearly stated that it’s not good for man to be alone, and created a solution for that problem He perceived. I understand that some men/women are called to be single, but that is not most. For those who are not called to singleness, it is a trial. Especially when they’re trying to live a good Christian life.
The title of this video should be "marrying the right KIND of person" because I saw this and immediately thought "oh this is another spiel about "finding the one" lol
Interesting. Not that I disagree with her, but I just want to point out that men like Matt Walsh and Jordan Peterson, other Catholics, are saying the total opposite: Basically, don’t overthink it, get married (preferably young) and stick to this person for the rest of your life. My personal opinion is in between theirs and hers, I guess…
I was about to say something similar. All I hear from them is marry when you are very young and have a ton of kids because it forces you to grow up and you can grow together. They claim late marriages cause problems because you are more set in your ways and have things you claim to be "yours." They also bring up the dying American population, so we need more kids to maintain the nation's population.
Peterson is saying be a dumb lobster with women. Jump into the lobster pot. Woohoo. However, when pressed he concedes divorce is frequently diabolical for men, but offers zero mitigations. Btw, his wife cleans the bedroom. Pearl is more insightful and helpful in recycling Samuels and Tomassi's advice, kneading that book of knowledge into the pop culture. Gives the lobster a sporting chance.
Jordan Peterson isn't Catholic. And Matt Walsh is professional grifter who worka for a media company. They're not always wrong and I think I agree with them here... but it's in the same way that I agree with leftists who say things like "full time workers should be able to eat food and sleep somewhere". Even a blind hog finds an acorn every once in a while.
For some reason i see so many men want to persuade women to marry young. While most women want to be more careful and wait for the right one. My personal opinion: balance and discernment is key. And every person's situation is different so there's no 'one size fits all' answer on what age you should marry.
@@xoho3462 Pearl has explained her rationale. It's not age per se' but body count and damage done to the ability to pair-bond. Also by age 30 yo 90% of a woman's eggs are gone and the congenital defect risk rises exponentially with age. Then there's the "alpha widow" effect and a beta-provider husband' of a woman that's "hit the wall" increased risk to divorce, probably in the range of 70% likelihood, sexless marriage risk 25%, and the certain knowledge to the man he was never her first choice, but just who she "settled" on. Of course she's talking about Western women. Chinese customs and mores are very different. Wives from good families in China have a different mindset, value family stability, honour their parents, etc. Also there is shame with being promiscuous. Chinese divorce laws do not outrageously favour women to encourage divorce and family break-up like in the West. Chinese inheritance laws are also very different and much better IMO than in the West. I hope this clarifies.
Marriage is a risk. The best is to do it young, have your parents involved and run the potential spouse credit before agreeing to marriage lol. I’ve noticed love is a touchy topic however we can all talk about money. But it’s love that wins. (True love, not a village or utopian lie lol.)
I’ve known people who thought they married the right person, and later that person “fell” into some temptation. So do you wait till 50, and then they fall ( there are no perfect people), and you’re miserable then? You don’t know what tomorrow will bring!
The problem is trusting the compatibility to do the work of loving them. The marriage will have trouble if either one becomes complacent about loving the other.
This video is very odd. I’m all for marrying the right person and making sure that person is holy and good, but can a person have any flaws when they marry?
If you have to wait till your 50 years to find someone that respects you, I think the bigger issue is YOU. They are surrounding themselves with the wrong people and may very well be corrupted as well. Individuals should seek others that put God above all else. If God is the common goal between husband and wife, then I find it very hard for the family to be divided.
Love is a choice, and it's not something that's meant to be exclusive or rare - we're to love everyone as we love ourselves! Obviously not everyone should marry everyone else, because it's meant for a special pair of individuals who choose each other. But sticking to that choice is downstream from loving her as you love yourself all the same. I think part of the problem is that we treat marriage like it's something that will only be special if you find "the one" - as if it's a needle-in-the-haystack situation. It's hard not to think of it that way because it *is* meant to be a one-and-done, once-in-a-lifetime decision. But a lot of the strife in people's relationships is from the fear of missing out or the fear of having chosen wrongly. In reality, if both of you fulfill your obligations - to love the other as you love yourself - then I think any pairing could work. It's just a bit easier to love one person that way over another. Well, it's obviously not something you should force, either. But there's no harm in being a little bit "careless" rushing into things if you're always very careful to keep your vows.
For the love of marriage, please, marry someone with the same faith as you. I don't care if you're two militant atheist Stalinists who spend your Saturdays executing kulaks. Marry. The. Same. Faith. Or be prepared to be deeply, deeply frustrated to the point of resentment.
after a huge explosion from his future fiancée, a family member seriously considered not marrying her. Three months after marriage he wanted a divorce but his priest talked him out of it. A little over a year, during a heated argument she tried to beat him when he tried to leave the house to let them both cool off. they are still married because He learned to submit.
Mrs. Angel, these young people that you congratulate for breaking up with their significant other after reading your blogs, I’m assuming you ask them why they broke up before praising them for it?!
6:25 _"if you are a miserable single person, you are going to be a miserable married person"_ Even when the root of the misery is the prohibition on a certain urge outside marriage?
6:30 Marriage may not fix _all_ problems, but it certainly is "in _remedium_ concupiscentiae" - "remedium" is Latin for fixing a problem, right? There is another kind of problem too, namely if you are up against certain actors who disrespect a person who is unmarried and respect him if he's married. I have not chosen to get readers who lurk and never comment, who agree to highlight any post at a max of 20 views per day, unless the post is from last day, who agree to stay 3000 views in the world whereof 2000 in France per day and who agree to watch and rewatch the exact same posts that happen to annoy them. Yes, I made a fault in French about gender in 2012, both "couilles" and "video" are feminine and it's a bit paradox to me, first bc where they are located and second bc no -e. Yes, I prefer CSL and JRRT over Isaac Asimov and not just the Bible but even GKC over both Quran and Talmud. No, pushing me to eat much and sleep little will not make me expert at flirting. They could either accept things and interact or not accept them and ditch me, but they seem unable to do either. And Catholics who listen to them are unable to stop: 1) being silent _about_ me 2) even so replying _to_ me. If you chose to call such people Catholics.
This blanket advice across all relationships and people, if you feel a bad gut feeling, you should quit the relationship, is frankly really misguided. That gut feeling needs to be examined and reflected upon, why are you having it? What are the aspects of this person that Drew you into a relationship? Do those anxieties outweigh the attributes of the person? There are people where their anxiety comes from unrealistic expectations fueled from social media or fear of losing their independence, or even legitimate incompatibilities. I think what she's touching on is that she felt she wasn't compatible in certain ways with her former fiance and felt that in her gut. She dated Bobby and felt she was more compatible with him, and she's glad she made that choice. She mentions if she married the other guy, she would have been miserable. Unless there were some glaring faults she hated about him, I don't think so. With living out marriage in the Catholic faith, she would have had to learn to how to overcome those incompatibilities in ways she was not expecting. She never made that Journey she metaphorically got on more comfortable boat on the onset and it worked out for her. But at the end of the journey, the boat arrives at the same destination. She would have loved that guy as much as she loves her current husband.
"Marrying w/ the right person" by an elegant beautiful blond lady who probably had thousands of men putting her on a pedestal throughout her entire life! It is the same as a person who inherited a fortune teaching how to be a millionaire!
"Love is a choice so just marry whoever. Like, that's terrible advice." If you're waiting for the ideal mate, you'll never get married because no one is ideal (and neither are you). They don't need to check all the boxes but they do need to display character. How does that person handle tough seasons? Is their faith the bedrock of their life? Yes? Then go ahead.
Arranged marriages “work” (very loaded term) because of the culture that produces them. If it’s the norm, then people will see it as the right way. Arranged marriages in the US wouldn’t nearly as successful.
5:53 You are happy your sister waited to 32. Holiness is one thing. But, there is _also_ gynaecology. Your sister _may_ get issues at childbirth which she wouldn't have had if she had married 10 years earlier. My mother - who had gynaecology as favourite speciality at med school, but settled for second favourite as assistant doctor, bc gyns in Sweden are required to participate in abortions - would not have advised it.
@@hglundahl but not everyone can control their age when they marry. I think many wait too long for the "perfect" person out of selfish reasons, but there are a good amount who just can't find anyone worth marrying.
Woah woah woah there!!!! Mrs Angel, You claim that you’d love to have a retreat where half the couples break up?! You’d consider that successful!? Yikes! That is not prudent thinking! To call that successful You’d have to ride upon the assumption that the those couples broke for all right reasons when it could have been many reasons. Such as cold feet, or because they had unreasonable expections, or because something you said that wasn’t explained well made them scared of marriage, or because they were so scared and anxious about being with the wrong person that they tricked themselves into thinking that they were, or because the devil tempted them away, or because they have OCD about their relationship that you fed into. Some people are so scared of being with the wrong person that they can talk themselves into breaking up with anyone regardless of how good the relationship is. How can you not consider that? Or how about the couples who didn’t break up after your retreat? How do you know they stayed together for the right reasons? If couples are good enough Catholics to go to a retreat before their marriage I’d say that’s a good indication that at least most of them know what they’re doing and are not stupid. So I’d say that if half of them break up that’s likely a problem with the retreat
Yes I agree. That was such a bizarre argument for her to make considering the fact that I personally overthink relationships and am just plain scared of marriage. I get what she’s trying to say ig but I don’t necessarily agree
@@paolarocha5992 Exactly! She may think she has good intentions but no amount of good intentions can undo the damage of poorly explained ideas and confusion. She needs to think through what she’s gonna say before she says it, instead of just hoping and assuming everyone knows exactly where she’s coming from.
This is clearly not right. Of course, don't be dumb and marry someone you just can't handle. On the other hand, I do remember hearing John MacArthur talking about "...relationship is formed when one is selfless." Clearly the point of marriage is family and children. So how can this lady claim that it's still worth waiting till you are 50? That only makes sense if you think this kind of relationship is for yourself. Looking for the "right guy/girl" in a framework where we are all sinners just sound absolutely ridiculous to me. If anything, we should learn that there's no Mr./Mrs. perfect in this world, for everyone of us has our flaws. This lady clearly doesn't get the point.
God does not want people to wait till their 50 to get married. If that does happen it is by default and it’s not Gods doing. It wasn’t Gods plan that there weren’t good men around to marry when she was younger
While this is great, and true... Shouldn't practicality come into this at some point? Unfortunately, there is a limit to how long women can wait if they want biological children, no? Shouldn't we encourage young women to be as proactive as they possibly can- teaching them the tools to screen for the guy that's best for them, instead of waiting passively? "God helps those who help themselves." "Pray as if everything depends on God. Act as if everything depends on you." Are these quotes not in line with the Catholic faith?
I am not a married man, but from what I'm seeing, most healthy young girls already have the intuition to pick guys who honor relationship and marriage, can stand up for himself, and is relatively stable - as long as they don't spend most of their lives on social media and freak out about their loneliness, girls are quite good, if not extremely good at picking men. This is why I see this woman's message almost as the female MGTOW movement - because the other sex has by-in-large rejected their responsibility of becoming a father/mother, I choose the other extreme and play the waiting game or just celibacy. A warning like "the world is a dangerous place" is only wisdom to the most unintelligent of us. I have had great male friends telling me that they have learnt a lot from their wives, sometimes even to their own surprise. My church friend tells me that marriage, or any deep relationship is about being vulnerable to each other. John MacArthur once said, "relationship is only formed when one is selfless". This is why I think young women only need to be healthy minded (to be able to pick the right guy) and willing to sacrifice for the relationship and the future family (to be able to bond), if her goal is to have a good marriage. Sounds like being a good Christian can accomplish both of that.
@@ruizheli1974 You mean women. It's not girls and men; it's women and men. Girls are female who are under 18. Surely you're not advocating for men to go after minors.
Jackie Angel gives advice that sounds like it came from Taylor Swift but with just a few sprinkles Christian spirituality. She’s obviously a woman who has made many bad relationship decisions and been traumatized as a result. So shes here over correcting with this sort of modern spiritualized version of female hypergamy. So common in modern Christianity
Underrated comment. This is actually a significant point. They're missing out on building a culture of life, strengthening a Christian society, and raising up children for The Kingdom. Marriage is more than just a thing to make you happy.
Marital relations are complicated Saintly partners turn devilish in weeks after marriage. I witnessed friends since highschool years, starting dating. married and fell apart same night.
I think Matt's comments about his sister are so demeaning.. That's the sort of half-truth the devil would want to make women believe so he can make them feel insecure and prey on their fear
I disagree with her take. Yes, marry a good person…but it’s truly not THAT HARD to find one. It absolutely should not take you all the way until 40-50+ to find someone who’s “right” for you. If it comes to that…then it sounds like *you* have some problems, issues, and traumas that you need to work through ASAP before anymore time is wasted. I don’t like the idea that you can marry the “wrong” person either. If it was a marriage that you WILLINGLY entered into as an adult - it wasn’t the “wrong” person. Perhaps during marriage either one or both of you succumbed to sinful behavior or actions (pridefulness, selfishness, lies, etc)…and perhaps it came to a point in which you felt that the marriage simply could no longer be sustained. But neither of you married “wrong” and in an ideal world, where both of you were deeply connected to God and had developed a strong sense of morals and ethics, both were as close to perfection as humanly possible, both truly had unconditional love for one another, etc….then of course you would still be together.
I’m not sure if you’re married, nor your age, but have you tried dating in the current world? It’s a jungle out there. There are men and women my age (36) who are, and have, worked on ourselves to be the type of virtuous person that would make a good husband/wife. I would be careful to not push blame on people who marry older. I understand no one person is perfect nor a “soulmate”. It takes two people willing to work on themselves and the relationship. You can’t force it; but it is absolutely not worth marrying someone if you’re just going to settle.
There is no one right person. Everyone goes through times when they question whether they made a mistake or not. Choose today to become the spouse you would want. But try not to get bitter if it takes a while to heal the relationship. 🙏
Something is off about this gal’s reasoning. I feel she is potentially scaring people away from marriage commitment. All I know is that When I go to the Latin Mass I see dozens of young well dressed young families with a bunch of kids and more on the way. When I go to guitar masses/NO Masses (the kind this gal is from) I see tons of single adults in their 20s and 30s in tight clothes and flip flops with no kids 🤔🤔 it’s rather pathetic. They also seem to have more priests in Traditional parishes. makes ya wonder
I found this whole conversation profoundly insulting. And indeed all such Christian conversations fill me with DISGUST more and more these days. Some of us would have been married quite easily, a long time ago.....were it not for religion, and the cost of the religious lifestyle and the marriages of others. ( This is never taken into account when these assertions are made. )
I think this is sadly example of soft "Catholicsm" today... versus truly saintly mindset and marriage. May St.Joseph and St.Michael protect all true and valid marriages under God, especially from so called Catholics and the corrupt Church Tribunal. Amen+
Don’t listen to this women. She’s got a lot of things right but a lot of things wrong. Marriage in your 40s is great (you have companionship and unity in Christ).. But don’t tell me that you didn’t have plenty of opportunities in your prime as a woman to find a good man.. Please…. We live in a difficult generation, so just accept the person Jesus sends you even if it will be a difficult but happy marriage (ups and downs). Also men who are looking for virgins, good luck lol, but definitely don’t be picky if she has a body count. God bless
Indicate to God, by a thumbs up that you won't marry today. If nuns and priests did this they wouldn't have to break a vow never to marry if they fell in love. Married Anglican priests can become Catholics and stay married, this isn't fair on nuns and priests who are expected to take a vow for life. Blessed wishes with your theology!
This woman's advice is terrible. And it just lends itself to the current plague in the West of Catholics who remain single and don't bear children, whose genes die out. It was much better in my grandparents' time, when large numbers of Catholics married young and had great big families, which led to lower stress in old age and a good life expectancy. God IS love. God is not logistics or conveniences or liking the same movies, etc. Christ gave us the sacraments, one of which is holy matrimony. When we put away our pride and humble ourselves to this sacrament, we can devote ourselves better to our spouses; not that "everything gets amplified". No, Christ makes all things new. Focus on Him, not the storm.
Her advice sounds like it has the potential to gaslight good couples into thinking that they’re not right for one another. I bet the devil can easily invest in that.
This is a ridiculous interpretation of why one should wait until marriage. Saying that she's a happy cat lady and that she has spinster friends in their 40s - 50s that are still "waiting for marriage" is not convincing and is in fact pitiful to listen to. (How many men are chomping at the bit for these sad mostly-barren wastelands?) To say that marriage brings out all the little things in a negative tone makes this lady come across as incredibly bitter and broken inside. In a relationship you are there to help the other grow as they help you do the same, you don't need to be fully grown to enter the relationship... Why? Because we are never fully grown and must always help others and get help in growing. Marry if you know it to be the right thing to do. Don't listen to sad single succubi case studies and generalize them to actual human beings. Let God guide you, not weirdos like this lady.
Uhm, but how can the couple be fruitful and procreate, if the woman waits for the right guy, and don’t end up with that guy until she’s in her 50s? Then most likely kids are out the window. Then she’s sinning, not using her fertile years getting pregnant, being fruitful. - If she can get pregnant in the first place. But she wouldn’t be able to find out, because she’s wasted her fertile years waiting for the right guy. 🤷🏼♀️
You should get married young, late teens or early to mid twenties. You're not going to build a family if you wait until you're 50, I think that's just terrible advice. If you're gonna wait until you're 50 then you might as well just stay celibate and offer it up to the Lord. That's just my opinion though, I'm 19 myself so I could be wrong but this advice just sounded terrible to me.
You're right, but God will bring you and your wife together when you're both ready. So try to follow the Lord from an early age, and pray for your spouse
As a child with divorced parents - WAIT. So much hurt came from that divorce, but I also learned the value of truly finding the right person. Being a happy single person is an excellent point. Too many young people think relationships will solve all their problems and they are really in for a rude awakening when they realize all of the problems they’ve never addressed will come to the surface in a relationship. Create a solid ground for yourself. When you’re creating a relationship of intimacy with Jesus, you are actively headed in the right direction. Too often people seek satisfaction in other people.
You wouldn't be alive if they waited. There's no such thing as "the one". This is reality, not a Disney movie.
@@themonsterunderyourbed9408 hard to argue, and 'The One' may seem like a fantasy - but it's critical to marry someone that fits, and fits very well.
Spot On Abby
@@barbaradelpino4020 in marriage, a huge part of making it work is stretching yourself. This idea that you just find someone who perfectly fits you is bogus.
I'm glad my parents didn't scour The Earth for decades looking for "The One" because then me and my six siblings and all of our children wouldn't exist. I'm grateful that my parents actually just stayed committed to their vows.
@@DavidMatias79 Not arguing your point- but marriage will be much more challenging if you find someone whom you don't have much in common with, or whom you don't even feel confident with (basically uncomfortable with) just because 'it's time to get married'... you can find someone that you don't have to stretch yourself with too much, is my point. It's really in the middle: I've never believed in many Romeo and Juliet scenarios, and never actually believed in 'The One', but as my father always told me - make sure you end up with someone who has your back, and that you feel comfortable with - marriage is hard even when you are crazy in love. My parents came from very different backgrounds and went through so much to be together, 50 years of marriage - I knew there were difficult times, but there was lots of peace, joy, and fun growing up; wouldn't change that for anything ❤
“Marriage is supposed to be a foretaste of heaven, but it can be a foretaste of hell.” Oof, that hit like a truck.
I almost got married this year. I didnt have the strength to end our relationship, but he did, and I thank God everyday for that. I know my ex wasnt the man God wants me to marry and I will wait as long as I have to to marry the right man.
Thank you for you're wisdom and being out there helping people like me!
Didn't have enough money, or are you not done having fun?
Why did you want the relationship to end?
@@zsedcftglkjh horrible uncharitable comment.
@@zsedcftglkjhit clearly wasn’t the right man. Don’t act stupid
How about people that are in their fifties …?
What an awesome show this was. I got married at age 41 and I am so blessed to have waited and trusted in the verse God gave me as I waited: “If you are willing and obedient you will eat the best of the land.”
That’s rather old to get married. Was it because you were invested in a career or just didn’t get out much?
Not all who want to marry young manages to make that happen with someone whom is a good match in terms of compatibility and having tender feelings. Bring firm and knowing it’s a good choice In those regards.
No need to force yourself to get married just bc.
Why can’t you focus on a career and date? That’s a trope. I’ve seen so many Catholic / devout women who did marry later even tho they were good and open (and prudent and wanting it to be right of course)
It’s just not that simple….
And it’s good to be willing to never marry if that is the will of God. Be willing to die to our own desires, pick up our cross and continue in obedience.
I have a friend who is 35 years old , he was engaged in 2019 and was supposed to get married the following year but his fiancé died tragically before the wedding. In 2022 he fell in love again and was supposed to marry another woman but he called off the marriage because he did not feel that she was the one for him. I pray that he finds the person that god has prepared for him to be his future wife.
AMEN so awesome thank you for sharing Jackie! Some of the key takeaways :)
1) grasping because you are lonely or afraid is not the reason to get married
2) it is better to be happy and single in Jesus than be married and miserable
3) marriage is supposed to be a foretaste of heaven but it can be a foretaste of hell if you marry the wrong person
4) it is better to break off an engagement than to get married and be miserable and divorce
5) marriage does not solve problems, it amplifies underlying wounds
6) it is ok to wait for the right person!
7) do not idolize marriage - the person is not your saviour, is not your counsellor and is not meant to be the solution
Jackie's conviction at 1:30 gave me goose bumps. So, so important for all women to have these standards.
I was engaged once. It never made it to the altar. It was not a failed engagement. There is no such thing as a failed engagement unless it precedes a failed marriage.
Certainly doesn’t sound like a very successful engagement either 😅. If divorce indicates a failed marriage then why wouldn’t a broken engagement indicate a failed relationship?
@@chrisobrien6254the only "relationship" that really counts is the person you marry. Past relationships may have touched you but the point of dating is to figure out if you'll marry them, if not, that becomes part of your past life. Your present and future with your spouse is what really counts, not a boyfriend or girlfriend from the past.
@@chrisobrien6254 The success is that the relationship ended and a disastrous marriage was averted. Why be so negative? It's a good thing that a bad marriage was avoided.
@@Himmiefan I mean I suppose you could look at it that sort of optimistic way, but would you then also contend that a divorce could be a win or a success in some cases because it prevented further damage in a relationship? Or was the divorce the result of a failure? I just fail to see how a breakup is a success story. If it’s is then it’s in a very awkwardly indirect way 😂 when is the last time you were congratulated for breaking up with someone?
@@chrisobrien6254People are congratulated for breaking up all the time. I congratulated my sister for breaking up with her boyfriend when it became obvious to her that after four years, he was still "not ready" to get married
I walked away from porn 17 years ago as a single man. I'm sure it would have ruined a marriage. I too used to believe that marriage would solve my porn habit.
I can say with confidence that I married the right person. A few things I would say that has made that possible.
-We both were happy being single.
-We saw each other as a way to add to our happiness, not be the source of it.
-Neither of us had bad habits: excessive drinking, doing drugs, etc
-We had the same understanding that sex would have to wait until marriage
-We saw eye to eye on our desire for children, our life goals, etc.
-God would be the center of and guide our relationship. Interestingly, sociology says a group of 3 is better than a group of 2
- We were upfront about our past relationships and habits so there were no surprises later
-We said that divorce is not option for us so we will have to communicate and work through whatever issues may arise
Putting a reply here so I can find this again
@SJ-up9zqIf you have people that you trust and give you good council, I’d ask them to be upfront with their concerns.
Ultimately, it’s a decision that you have to make. I’d pray about it yourself and I’d also include prayer together. If the person you’re dating is bearing good fruit and the relationship between you two is as well, I wouldn’t worry too much.
It's definitely easy for me as a single 32 yo woman to think, "Easy for her to say, she met someone and got married at 28." Having said that though, I would truly rather stay unmarried and childless my whole life than to ever get a divorce.
Then get married and don’t get a divorce🤷♂️
@@monicareynoso8036 Don’t let fear of failure keep you from doing what you want.
@@monicareynoso8036 You’re Welcome. I hope you find a good man!
Amen. ❤
Yeah, I scoffed when she said that. Easier said than done, hon.
Thank you Matt and Jackie! I like what Matt said about marriage being a healing sacrament. Never thought about it like that before.
I had ZERO warning of what I would face after I married. Not a single trusted person cautioned me against our union. That said, it's for my children that I pressed on to break the cycle of divorce. Sometimes I questioned if it was better for our children for us to stay married but I know if we divorced they would have different wounds. It's not always preventable although I agree sometimes it's obvious and people refuse to face they shouldn't marry the person.
My sister endured an abusive marriage, she hid it, it was truly horrible for her. But her two children are wonderful and their children these days have granny happy from ear to ear. In hindsight she's definitely glad she toughed it out. She took the wounds and my respect and admiration for her moral courage is boundless. The vine was stressed but it bore good fruit. She waited until the youngest was 18yo before she divorced him.
But not everyone can do that.
@@sitka49 - perhaps when I was younger I was more judgemental. Now I appreciate everything depends on the immediate circumstances, while courage is finite & very YMMV.... Most people try to make it work in good faith.
Marital fighting is a bit different to straight out abuse, both can be viscious. My sister is physically slight, was always meek and feminine by nature and never argued and certainly 'never stood up for herself by fighting - and she still copped heavy emotional and nasty physical abuse (which she hid from us for many years). The situation was intolerable for sure and definitely left her with deep wounds and an inability to deal with difficult situations, she folds easy as with PTSD 'victims'. Her sweet natured adult children appreciate her sacrifice I'm sure, but are not fully aware and not able to encompass just how vile it was. Now it's better to look happily forward to the little babies of newness coming forth (another has arrived has just last week, so it's very fresh in our hearts 💕 :)
@@sitka49 - yeah he's well out of it these days actually for over 10 years now....on the surface level, you just never know what some people have been through....sis really did her duty.....
@@sitka49 I wouldnt say our marriage is bad now. We have come a long way, although still have things to work on (don't we all). I *hope* they remember how hard we worked to keep our family together despite ways we failed them.
It is said that the way to have a good marriage is to not get divorced.
Late to the game here - just wanted to add that pressure to "marry before you're 30!" is real for Christian gals...and thus I've watched so many settle instead of waiting.
This video gives me so much hope! Jackie, i loved how you had the confidence from God that your particular generational spirit/trauma stops with you! Amen. I believe that God can provide a husband who is striving for holiness for me if that is His Will, but i am so fearful that i will be duped and live the same things many of my family members have suffered. All for the Glory of God , right 😅 Thank you for providing hope and truth Matt and Jackie!
Very deep points Jackie points out. I totally agree with her it's better to be single and happy rather than married and miserable. I have family members who experienced divorce and some multiple divorces. Most of them involves kids too. And my family members whose parents divorced, it even affects their parenting style with their own kids. Some don't know their grandparents cuz of divorce.
Thank you for this video.
My parents divorced when I was young, my mother never warned me about how important marriage and sex are…. Never taught me how special both are. I had an abusive marriage and my mother convinced me to stay and just eat the abuse. Dealing with a failing abusive wife and trauma from 2 wars as a soldier was overwhelming….. I got out finally and was changed completely, I’ve since met a wonderful woman (my wife and mother to my 5 kids) and had to cut off my mother
OmyLord- story time is always both so beautiful and messed up 😢 I freakin love it 😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
I LOVE Jackie Angel! She is a mighty woman of God who lives her faith and you can see that in her beautiful family
She's kind of ridiculous if you ask me.
@@themonsterunderyourbed9408 couldn't agree more
It baffles me that we keep seeing these videos about marrying the 'right person', like Catholics have a wide array of people to choose from. In reality the pool is incredibly shallow, no young people at church (no, not even at the Latin mass)
Yeah
Yup it’s an issue, but look at it as a cross to bear. Its difficult and painful, but whenever it reaches its culmination(i.e.marriage) the sacrifices will be worth it. Keep your head up and search! I am at a parish with nobody my age, and so I need to drive around and find parishes with people my age who are devout. Modern problems require modern solutions y’know. There were times in the past when being catholic was illegal(England pre-enlightenment, France during and after the enlightenment). Yet we’re here standing, meaning our ancestors found someone. So keep your head up! Ultimately leave it up to God, because our lives follow His plans.
Pax Vobiscum!
I agree with her about marrying the right person. That is 100% essential. Thr problem for me is that "the right person" for me is a young Catholic woman from the 1940s teleported to 2022 and not exposed to modernity. So I am basically SOL.
Go to the TLM, my friend. We're out there!
Remember the 1940's was far from perfect too. 2 decades from flapping, 2 from the pill, 1 from the Lambeth Conference.
@@AJKPenguin Modern TLM women are where it's at if you want the best of the best.
God's order.
Homesteading.
Homeschooling.
Homeopaths.
The 1940's were not a Holy Wonderland. Nor the 1920's or 1890's or any other era you want to name. They all had their warts.
But again, you've said you attend Catholic events and you have to beat the women off with a stick. Right?
@@ThatOneFam My issue is that many are orthodox and religious but are not interested in following the way of perfection and practicing the beautitudes. It seems to be a religious trend filled with pride instead of fully following the Gospel. It really thins out the already thin remnant. People need to read the doctors of the Church and realize going to a more reverent Mass is not the credits roll in becoming holy. We need more women who embrace the cross and love God and neighbor, not just coddled would be mothers who want to settle down and want the image of family. Not all TLM people have this issue, but many do.
Amen ! Praise God for this video. Waiting is the answer. God will show you the right person to marry when one is patient and willing to wait on the Lord.
I was told - by a priest- arranged marriages can be as successful as any.I’ve been married for 53 years, only 22 when we tied the knot, it’s a good life if you can make it work - be unselfish and invite god into your life 🙏
Arranged marriages are more successful. Because the two people respect each other and keep things private and mysterious.
This is an amazing point, but I would argue that in some cases people take this too far. Especially in my smaller, more insular catholic community, I know many people (especially women) that have unreasonably high standards for men. Obviously you should never settle and marry a person that doesn't suit you, but you also have to find a balance between the two.
The best thing to do is to wait on the most high, he will bring the right person and don’t compare yourself to others who are getting married or in relationships and about to get married, everything will happen when it’s God’s time and the right time, marriage is not something to rush into, stay calm and wait, the right person will be there for you every time, and you will enjoy it till eternity
6:20 This is more than a little trite, but it's still kind of true - there's a big problem with this saying, though. If you're unhappy when you're _lonely_ that's healthy. "It is not good for man to be alone" - even in a perfect creation. How much more in a fallen world?
When people say this - I've heard it over and over again - it always comes across to me as something horribly out-of-touch and inconsiderate, but I don't think it's intended that way. You should make sure to treat singleness and loneliness as different problems, because they *are* different problems and most of the sins that live downstream result from confusing the two. Sex addicts never feel less lonely with a new partner. Porn users never feel less lonely when they find something particularly appealing. And married people can still be lonely even when they have a "happy" marriage.
I'm unhappy right now at a time when I happen to be single, and it's because I'm missing something critical that I need. It's not a moral failing or a sign that I'd be an unstable partner for someone
(this is about the point where I would go into a rant about how modern social engineering as a result of industrialization is to blame for all of this, but it isn't really appropriate here).
You’re right. Marriage is normative for most. Unless you’re called to the priesthood, singleness should be seen as a trial. The heart of most men desires a woman/spouse. that is a holy desire
You're a thoughtful man. There are good women out there. Maybe not that many, but they are not the attention seeking types, we see on Pearl's channel. Women that have always had a close loving relationship with their father and very low body count, IMO, should only be the ones to get on your short list. Maybe you'll never marry, that is still better than wedlock to someone that turns into a praying mantis. 💥💫💛
Being single isnt a burden. It's a blessing. I'm single and plan to be that way, yet I've discerned out of the priesthood. I don't intend, nor do I ever, plan to get married or have children, and I'm content and actually happy with that.
@@BrotherCarl Being single is the furthest thing from a trial. A bad marriage where the spouse cheats? That's a trial, cause divorce isn't an option.
@@Thundah_Dome God very clearly stated that it’s not good for man to be alone, and created a solution for that problem He perceived. I understand that some men/women are called to be single, but that is not most. For those who are not called to singleness, it is a trial. Especially when they’re trying to live a good Christian life.
The title of this video should be "marrying the right KIND of person" because I saw this and immediately thought "oh this is another spiel about "finding the one" lol
Interesting.
Not that I disagree with her, but I just want to point out that men like Matt Walsh and Jordan Peterson, other Catholics, are saying the total opposite: Basically, don’t overthink it, get married (preferably young) and stick to this person for the rest of your life.
My personal opinion is in between theirs and hers, I guess…
I was about to say something similar. All I hear from them is marry when you are very young and have a ton of kids because it forces you to grow up and you can grow together. They claim late marriages cause problems because you are more set in your ways and have things you claim to be "yours."
They also bring up the dying American population, so we need more kids to maintain the nation's population.
Peterson is saying be a dumb lobster with women. Jump into the lobster pot. Woohoo. However, when pressed he concedes divorce is frequently diabolical for men, but offers zero mitigations. Btw, his wife cleans the bedroom. Pearl is more insightful and helpful in recycling Samuels and Tomassi's advice, kneading that book of knowledge into the pop culture. Gives the lobster a sporting chance.
Jordan Peterson isn't Catholic. And Matt Walsh is professional grifter who worka for a media company. They're not always wrong and I think I agree with them here... but it's in the same way that I agree with leftists who say things like "full time workers should be able to eat food and sleep somewhere". Even a blind hog finds an acorn every once in a while.
For some reason i see so many men want to persuade women to marry young. While most women want to be more careful and wait for the right one.
My personal opinion: balance and discernment is key. And every person's situation is different so there's no 'one size fits all' answer on what age you should marry.
@@xoho3462 Pearl has explained her rationale. It's not age per se' but body count and damage done to the ability to pair-bond. Also by age 30 yo 90% of a woman's eggs are gone and the congenital defect risk rises exponentially with age. Then there's the "alpha widow" effect and a beta-provider husband' of a woman that's "hit the wall" increased risk to divorce, probably in the range of 70% likelihood, sexless marriage risk 25%, and the certain knowledge to the man he was never her first choice, but just who she "settled" on. Of course she's talking about Western women. Chinese customs and mores are very different. Wives from good families in China have a different mindset, value family stability, honour their parents, etc. Also there is shame with being promiscuous. Chinese divorce laws do not outrageously favour women to encourage divorce and family break-up like in the West. Chinese inheritance laws are also very different and much better IMO than in the West. I hope this clarifies.
Marriage is a risk. The best is to do it young, have your parents involved and run the potential spouse credit before agreeing to marriage lol. I’ve noticed love is a touchy topic however we can all talk about money. But it’s love that wins. (True love, not a village or utopian lie lol.)
Yeah, but some do it so early that the emotional center of the brain is not fully developed yet. That doesn't happen until 23, 24, 25, thereabouts.
I’ve known people who thought they married the right person, and later that person “fell” into some temptation. So do you wait till 50, and then they fall ( there are no perfect people), and you’re miserable then? You don’t know what tomorrow will bring!
The problem is trusting the compatibility to do the work of loving them. The marriage will have trouble if either one becomes complacent about loving the other.
Wow at all these nasty comments. Uh guys... Isaac got married at 40.
Well, her husband better never mess up 😅
Yeah for there won't be any managers she can complain to once that happens.
This video is very odd. I’m all for marrying the right person and making sure that person is holy and good, but can a person have any flaws when they marry?
If you have to wait till your 50 years to find someone that respects you, I think the bigger issue is YOU. They are surrounding themselves with the wrong people and may very well be corrupted as well. Individuals should seek others that put God above all else. If God is the common goal between husband and wife, then I find it very hard for the family to be divided.
Good advise before marriage - the guidance falls apart for couples who are already married
Love is really a choice though. You just shouldn't settle.
Love is a choice, and it's not something that's meant to be exclusive or rare - we're to love everyone as we love ourselves! Obviously not everyone should marry everyone else, because it's meant for a special pair of individuals who choose each other. But sticking to that choice is downstream from loving her as you love yourself all the same.
I think part of the problem is that we treat marriage like it's something that will only be special if you find "the one" - as if it's a needle-in-the-haystack situation. It's hard not to think of it that way because it *is* meant to be a one-and-done, once-in-a-lifetime decision. But a lot of the strife in people's relationships is from the fear of missing out or the fear of having chosen wrongly. In reality, if both of you fulfill your obligations - to love the other as you love yourself - then I think any pairing could work. It's just a bit easier to love one person that way over another. Well, it's obviously not something you should force, either. But there's no harm in being a little bit "careless" rushing into things if you're always very careful to keep your vows.
@@josephbrandenburg4373 I don't plan on being married, so it doesn't effect me none. XD
@@Thundah_Dome Eh, you never know what will happen. That's what makes life fun 😀
@@josephbrandenburg4373 I honestly wouldn't follow through with it even if the opportunity happened. Too many snakes out there, my guy.
I'm 34 and not desirable. I gotta settle for who ever will have me.
For the love of marriage, please, marry someone with the same faith as you. I don't care if you're two militant atheist Stalinists who spend your Saturdays executing kulaks. Marry. The. Same. Faith.
Or be prepared to be deeply, deeply frustrated to the point of resentment.
Hey! Is this coming from a place of experience? I’d love to know why you’re so passionate about it.
Totally❤
@@korieturlington1608 experience.
If you're discerning marriage and have questions, please ask.
I agree. I was dating a non catholic atheist and he just made me so mad about certain situations..i got done cause I realised it had no future
Facts
Listen and obey
Marriage MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!
after a huge explosion from his future fiancée, a family member seriously considered not marrying her. Three months after marriage he wanted a divorce but his priest talked him out of it. A little over a year, during a heated argument she tried to beat him when he tried to leave the house to let them both cool off. they are still married because He learned to submit.
Mrs. Angel, these young people that you congratulate for breaking up with their significant other after reading your blogs, I’m assuming you ask them why they broke up before praising them for it?!
6:25 _"if you are a miserable single person, you are going to be a miserable married person"_
Even when the root of the misery is the prohibition on a certain urge outside marriage?
6:30 Marriage may not fix _all_ problems, but it certainly is "in _remedium_ concupiscentiae" - "remedium" is Latin for fixing a problem, right?
There is another kind of problem too, namely if you are up against certain actors who disrespect a person who is unmarried and respect him if he's married.
I have not chosen to get readers who lurk and never comment, who agree to highlight any post at a max of 20 views per day, unless the post is from last day, who agree to stay 3000 views in the world whereof 2000 in France per day and who agree to watch and rewatch the exact same posts that happen to annoy them.
Yes, I made a fault in French about gender in 2012, both "couilles" and "video" are feminine and it's a bit paradox to me, first bc where they are located and second bc no -e. Yes, I prefer CSL and JRRT over Isaac Asimov and not just the Bible but even GKC over both Quran and Talmud. No, pushing me to eat much and sleep little will not make me expert at flirting.
They could either accept things and interact or not accept them and ditch me, but they seem unable to do either.
And Catholics who listen to them are unable to stop:
1) being silent _about_ me
2) even so replying _to_ me.
If you chose to call such people Catholics.
"watch and rewatch" - or read and reread.
1:20 I would be curoius to know what markers you look for as a guarentee that the man or woman you marry will never be unfaithful to you ...
Leila Miller - "Impossible Marriages Redeemed" Great Book! Mary, our Blessed Mother - pray for us+ 🙏✝️📿💒
This blanket advice across all relationships and people, if you feel a bad gut feeling, you should quit the relationship, is frankly really misguided.
That gut feeling needs to be examined and reflected upon, why are you having it? What are the aspects of this person that Drew you into a relationship? Do those anxieties outweigh the attributes of the person?
There are people where their anxiety comes from unrealistic expectations fueled from social media or fear of losing their independence, or even legitimate incompatibilities.
I think what she's touching on is that she felt she wasn't compatible in certain ways with her former fiance and felt that in her gut. She dated Bobby and felt she was more compatible with him, and she's glad she made that choice.
She mentions if she married the other guy, she would have been miserable. Unless there were some glaring faults she hated about him, I don't think so.
With living out marriage in the Catholic faith, she would have had to learn to how to overcome those incompatibilities in ways she was not expecting. She never made that Journey she metaphorically got on more comfortable boat on the onset and it worked out for her. But at the end of the journey, the boat arrives at the same destination. She would have loved that guy as much as she loves her current husband.
This is a hard thing to hear, but necessary. Enjoy friendship in the Lord ultimately
How do you know if it’s the right person?
Age 32 hasn’t been a late age to get married in decades. It’s considered young to get married at 32 now.
"Marrying w/ the right person" by an elegant beautiful blond lady who probably had thousands of men putting her on a pedestal throughout her entire life!
It is the same as a person who inherited a fortune teaching how to be a millionaire!
"Love is a choice so just marry whoever. Like, that's terrible advice." If you're waiting for the ideal mate, you'll never get married because no one is ideal (and neither are you). They don't need to check all the boxes but they do need to display character. How does that person handle tough seasons? Is their faith the bedrock of their life? Yes? Then go ahead.
Arranged marriages “work” (very loaded term) because of the culture that produces them. If it’s the norm, then people will see it as the right way. Arranged marriages in the US wouldn’t nearly as successful.
Waiting is a great strategy if you don't want kids.
But but..."the devil wants you to settle." She sounds more like a gold digger than anything.
@@zsedcftglkjhshut up dude,go watch fresh and fit
@@zsedcftglkjh Unsettling quote. "The devil wants you to adopt unrealistic standards, lose hope, and expire alone." would be more accurate.
What im struggling with right now is explaining why people should get married.
5:53 You are happy your sister waited to 32. Holiness is one thing.
But, there is _also_ gynaecology.
Your sister _may_ get issues at childbirth which she wouldn't have had if she had married 10 years earlier.
My mother - who had gynaecology as favourite speciality at med school, but settled for second favourite as assistant doctor, bc gyns in Sweden are required to participate in abortions - would not have advised it.
My mom birthed me at 32, and my bro at 40. She's doing fine.
You can't refuse marriage just because you're in your 30's. God allows what he allows, & women can have babies through their 40's
@@joemcneil9533 I wasn't saying she should refuse marriage.
I said she was not wise to wait so long.
@@xoho3462 And not many more, I suppose?
@@hglundahl but not everyone can control their age when they marry. I think many wait too long for the "perfect" person out of selfish reasons, but there are a good amount who just can't find anyone worth marrying.
You said you’d wait till your 50 to get married. Isn’t the primary purpose of marriage to have children?
Woah woah woah there!!!!
Mrs Angel, You claim that you’d love to have a retreat where half the couples break up?! You’d consider that successful!? Yikes! That is not prudent thinking! To call that successful You’d have to ride upon the assumption that the those couples broke for all right reasons when it could have been many reasons. Such as cold feet, or because they had unreasonable expections, or because something you said that wasn’t explained well made them scared of marriage, or because they were so scared and anxious about being with the wrong person that they tricked themselves into thinking that they were, or because the devil tempted them away, or because they have OCD about their relationship that you fed into. Some people are so scared of being with the wrong person that they can talk themselves into breaking up with anyone regardless of how good the relationship is. How can you not consider that? Or how about the couples who didn’t break up after your retreat? How do you know they stayed together for the right reasons? If couples are good enough Catholics to go to a retreat before their marriage I’d say that’s a good indication that at least most of them know what they’re doing and are not stupid. So I’d say that if half of them break up that’s likely a problem with the retreat
Yes I agree. That was such a bizarre argument for her to make considering the fact that I personally overthink relationships and am just plain scared of marriage. I get what she’s trying to say ig but I don’t necessarily agree
@@paolarocha5992 Exactly! She may think she has good intentions but no amount of good intentions can undo the damage of poorly explained ideas and confusion. She needs to think through what she’s gonna say before she says it, instead of just hoping and assuming everyone knows exactly where she’s coming from.
This is clearly not right. Of course, don't be dumb and marry someone you just can't handle. On the other hand, I do remember hearing John MacArthur talking about "...relationship is formed when one is selfless." Clearly the point of marriage is family and children. So how can this lady claim that it's still worth waiting till you are 50? That only makes sense if you think this kind of relationship is for yourself.
Looking for the "right guy/girl" in a framework where we are all sinners just sound absolutely ridiculous to me. If anything, we should learn that there's no Mr./Mrs. perfect in this world, for everyone of us has our flaws. This lady clearly doesn't get the point.
Women are opportunistic lovers.
God does not want people to wait till their 50 to get married. If that does happen it is by default and it’s not Gods doing. It wasn’t Gods plan that there weren’t good men around to marry when she was younger
Read: Primal Loss, the Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak. Edited by Leila Miller.
While this is great, and true... Shouldn't practicality come into this at some point? Unfortunately, there is a limit to how long women can wait if they want biological children, no?
Shouldn't we encourage young women to be as proactive as they possibly can- teaching them the tools to screen for the guy that's best for them, instead of waiting passively?
"God helps those who help themselves." "Pray as if everything depends on God. Act as if everything depends on you." Are these quotes not in line with the Catholic faith?
I am not a married man, but from what I'm seeing, most healthy young girls already have the intuition to pick guys who honor relationship and marriage, can stand up for himself, and is relatively stable - as long as they don't spend most of their lives on social media and freak out about their loneliness, girls are quite good, if not extremely good at picking men.
This is why I see this woman's message almost as the female MGTOW movement - because the other sex has by-in-large rejected their responsibility of becoming a father/mother, I choose the other extreme and play the waiting game or just celibacy. A warning like "the world is a dangerous place" is only wisdom to the most unintelligent of us.
I have had great male friends telling me that they have learnt a lot from their wives, sometimes even to their own surprise. My church friend tells me that marriage, or any deep relationship is about being vulnerable to each other. John MacArthur once said, "relationship is only formed when one is selfless". This is why I think young women only need to be healthy minded (to be able to pick the right guy) and willing to sacrifice for the relationship and the future family (to be able to bond), if her goal is to have a good marriage. Sounds like being a good Christian can accomplish both of that.
@@ruizheli1974 You mean women. It's not girls and men; it's women and men. Girls are female who are under 18. Surely you're not advocating for men to go after minors.
Jackie Angel gives advice that sounds like it came from Taylor Swift but with just a few sprinkles Christian spirituality. She’s obviously a woman who has made many bad relationship decisions and been traumatized as a result. So shes here over correcting with this sort of modern spiritualized version of female hypergamy. So common in modern Christianity
Jesus loves you and is with you
Amazing (God's) timing :)
If you get married at 50 you gonna be missing out on kids
Underrated comment. This is actually a significant point. They're missing out on building a culture of life, strengthening a Christian society, and raising up children for The Kingdom. Marriage is more than just a thing to make you happy.
I think she understands this but having a divorce is worse than not having kids.
@@jacobparadis9955 Disagree.
This is the first thing I thought, and the obvious rejoinder to this woman's argument
@@jacobparadis9955 also disagree. As a divorced dad, I'm SO profoundly grateful that I have a kid. Best thing that ever happened to me.
Marital relations are complicated
Saintly partners turn devilish in weeks after marriage.
I witnessed friends since highschool years, starting dating. married and fell apart same night.
I am too ugly to get married
Thanks Jackie
I think Matt's comments about his sister are so demeaning.. That's the sort of half-truth the devil would want to make women believe so he can make them feel insecure and prey on their fear
I didnt felt that.
I disagree with her take. Yes, marry a good person…but it’s truly not THAT HARD to find one. It absolutely should not take you all the way until 40-50+ to find someone who’s “right” for you. If it comes to that…then it sounds like *you* have some problems, issues, and traumas that you need to work through ASAP before anymore time is wasted.
I don’t like the idea that you can marry the “wrong” person either. If it was a marriage that you WILLINGLY entered into as an adult - it wasn’t the “wrong” person. Perhaps during marriage either one or both of you succumbed to sinful behavior or actions (pridefulness, selfishness, lies, etc)…and perhaps it came to a point in which you felt that the marriage simply could no longer be sustained. But neither of you married “wrong” and in an ideal world, where both of you were deeply connected to God and had developed a strong sense of morals and ethics, both were as close to perfection as humanly possible, both truly had unconditional love for one another, etc….then of course you would still be together.
I’m not sure if you’re married, nor your age, but have you tried dating in the current world? It’s a jungle out there. There are men and women my age (36) who are, and have, worked on ourselves to be the type of virtuous person that would make a good husband/wife. I would be careful to not push blame on people who marry older. I understand no one person is perfect nor a “soulmate”. It takes two people willing to work on themselves and the relationship. You can’t force it; but it is absolutely not worth marrying someone if you’re just going to settle.
I didn't.
There is no one right person. Everyone goes through times when they question whether they made a mistake or not. Choose today to become the spouse you would want. But try not to get bitter if it takes a while to heal the relationship. 🙏
@@leekflower1 I appreciate your comment but you don't know my situation but bless you.
@@anthonylangford7797 I have an extremely difficult situation myself. We can pray for each other! 🙏
@@leekflower1 Thank you Patricia. Prayer is needed, bless you.
He didn't clarify that w/ gender, but how is 32 late to get married? No it isn't bruh. Check yourself.
Something is off about this gal’s reasoning. I feel she is potentially scaring people away from marriage commitment. All I know is that When I go to the Latin Mass I see dozens of young well dressed young families with a bunch of kids and more on the way. When I go to guitar masses/NO Masses (the kind this gal is from) I see tons of single adults in their 20s and 30s in tight clothes and flip flops with no kids 🤔🤔 it’s rather pathetic. They also seem to have more priests in Traditional parishes. makes ya wonder
Anyone can fall from grace….you can’t find Jesus Christ as a husband out there.
I found this whole conversation profoundly insulting. And indeed all such Christian conversations fill me with DISGUST more and more these days. Some of us would have been married quite easily, a long time ago.....were it not for religion, and the cost of the religious lifestyle and the marriages of others. ( This is never taken into account when these assertions are made. )
Am in my late 30s
I think this is sadly example of soft "Catholicsm" today... versus truly saintly mindset and marriage. May St.Joseph and St.Michael protect all true and valid marriages under God, especially from so called Catholics and the corrupt Church Tribunal. Amen+
Don’t listen to this women. She’s got a lot of things right but a lot of things wrong. Marriage in your 40s is great (you have companionship and unity in Christ).. But don’t tell me that you didn’t have plenty of opportunities in your prime as a woman to find a good man.. Please…. We live in a difficult generation, so just accept the person Jesus sends you even if it will be a difficult but happy marriage (ups and downs). Also men who are looking for virgins, good luck lol, but definitely don’t be picky if she has a body count. God bless
Indicate to God, by a thumbs up that you won't marry today.
If nuns and priests did this they wouldn't have to break a vow never to marry if they fell in love.
Married Anglican priests can become Catholics and stay married, this isn't fair on nuns and priests
who are expected to take a vow for life. Blessed wishes with your theology!
A bit naive.
Married at 50? You're crazy lol might as well follow saint Paul and stay celibate at that point.
For a woman you are right.
For a man no, he still has more than a decade he could get children. If he lives that long.
@@xoho3462 perhaps a thing to say to NPC 37724, but not to me
@@hglundahl i did reply to that person
@@xoho3462 OK, thanks!
@@hglundahl that's disgusting, you'd have to marry a woman 20 to 30 years younger that you for a decent chance at children.
This woman's advice is terrible. And it just lends itself to the current plague in the West of Catholics who remain single and don't bear children, whose genes die out. It was much better in my grandparents' time, when large numbers of Catholics married young and had great big families, which led to lower stress in old age and a good life expectancy. God IS love. God is not logistics or conveniences or liking the same movies, etc. Christ gave us the sacraments, one of which is holy matrimony. When we put away our pride and humble ourselves to this sacrament, we can devote ourselves better to our spouses; not that "everything gets amplified". No, Christ makes all things new. Focus on Him, not the storm.
Her advice sounds like it has the potential to gaslight good couples into thinking that they’re not right for one another. I bet the devil can easily invest in that.
No more than the devil invests in abusive and cruel marriages.
@@NotANameist well sure but this seems like too much of an over correction
@@chrisobrien6254 that’s fair
This is a ridiculous interpretation of why one should wait until marriage. Saying that she's a happy cat lady and that she has spinster friends in their 40s - 50s that are still "waiting for marriage" is not convincing and is in fact pitiful to listen to. (How many men are chomping at the bit for these sad mostly-barren wastelands?)
To say that marriage brings out all the little things in a negative tone makes this lady come across as incredibly bitter and broken inside. In a relationship you are there to help the other grow as they help you do the same, you don't need to be fully grown to enter the relationship... Why? Because we are never fully grown and must always help others and get help in growing.
Marry if you know it to be the right thing to do. Don't listen to sad single succubi case studies and generalize them to actual human beings. Let God guide you, not weirdos like this lady.
Yeah, that's nice they waited til they were 50 to marry, but it's too late to have biological kids naturally that way.
Uhm, but how can the couple be fruitful and procreate, if the woman waits for the right guy, and don’t end up with that guy until she’s in her 50s? Then most likely kids are out the window. Then she’s sinning, not using her fertile years getting pregnant, being fruitful.
- If she can get pregnant in the first place. But she wouldn’t be able to find out, because she’s wasted her fertile years waiting for the right guy. 🤷🏼♀️
It isn't sin
Um, what?
It is unjust to give birth to children in a bad marriage.
This lady is the problem.
You should get married young, late teens or early to mid twenties. You're not going to build a family if you wait until you're 50, I think that's just terrible advice. If you're gonna wait until you're 50 then you might as well just stay celibate and offer it up to the Lord. That's just my opinion though, I'm 19 myself so I could be wrong but this advice just sounded terrible to me.
Yeah same, it seems like theres a whole lot of pressure on marriage and dating.
You're right, but God will bring you and your wife together when you're both ready. So try to follow the Lord from an early age, and pray for your spouse
Says the blonde who is happily married with four........children
Someone teach her!
Getting married after 30 seems awful. you pass on terrible genetics at that point.